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Jay Shetty Podcast

Marianna Hewitt ON: How To Live A Life Of HAPPINESS, Success & Abundance | Jay Shetty

Today, I sit down with my good friend Marianna Hewitt to talk about a range of topics related to self-care, mental health, and the challenges of being a content creator.

Marianna HewittguestJay Shettyhost

Feb 27, 20231h 6mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Earliest Memories and Growing Up Across Continents
Jay asks for Marianna's earliest strong memory and shares his own of holding his baby sister. Marianna describes her parents' divorce when she was six, living with her dad, and flying alone to Germany to see her mom, which built her independence.
- •Jay's earliest memory is holding his newborn sister at around four and a half
- •Marianna's parents divorced when she was six and co-parented across continents
- •She started flying alone to Germany at six, which fostered independence
- •Her parents treated her like an adult and let her figure things out
How Her Parents Handled Divorce Thoughtfully
Jay asks whether she had to work to see the experience positively. Marianna contrasts a friend's flight anxiety with her own experience, explaining that her parents got her a therapist and kept a consistent schedule. She also credits their older age at parenthood for making them better parents.
- •A friend with flight anxiety links it to her parents' divorce, unlike Marianna
- •Her parents arranged a therapist for her at six
- •Her mom planned work trips around visiting and showed up at school events
- •Her mom had her at 36 and her dad at 49, and she feels waiting made them better parents
- •She now helps her parents with travel and care
Parents' Immigrant Stories and Never Relying on Anyone
Marianna explains how her parents' backgrounds convinced her anything is possible. Her Vietnamese mom taught her never to rely on anyone, and her TV-host dream led to PR, YouTube and eventually a full-time internet career that her parents doubted at first.
- •Her dad grew up poor and her mom came to the US with nothing during the Vietnam War
- •Her mom urged her to be able to fully support herself and walk away from any situation
- •She went from wanting to be a TV host to PR to uploading her reel to YouTube
- •Her mom needed to see results, such as a brand trip to Thailand, before supporting her
- •Early brands paid her $50 over PayPal to post
Passion for Sharing and Learning Beauty at the Counter
Jay asks whether makeup tutorials fulfilled her wish to be in front of the camera. Marianna says she always loved sharing what she loved, and that YouTube gave her a platform without gatekeepers. Her love of beauty began with her dad taking her to department store counters.
- •She wanted to share things she loved and YouTube removed the need for someone to say yes
- •Her dad took her to beauty counters because he didn't know how to do her hair or makeup
- •She learned contouring from a Mac counter employee in high school
- •Grassroots learning gives experience that's hard to get otherwise
Every Job Teaches Something
Marianna says every job, even hosting at restaurants, built skills she uses now. Jay encourages listeners to reflect on past jobs and shares what he learned stacking shelves at a grocery store.
- •Working as a hostess taught her to talk to strangers and handle angry customers
- •Those skills now help her with networking
- •Jay urges people to look back at every job for useful lessons
- •Stacking shelves taught Jay punctuality, how to have a boss and how to work with different people
Avoiding the Virality Trap
Jay asks about views, likes and creator burnout. Marianna explains she chose genuine content over trending topics, which meant slower growth but a longer-lasting career. Jay adds that virality does not equal influence.
- •Marianna started with products she genuinely used instead of chasing trends
- •Slower growth led her to work with luxury beauty brands and Sephora
- •Retelling trending news builds views but not a personal audience
- •Jay says followers and virality don't mean influence
- •Creator life lacks job security, which creates a scarcity mentality about saying yes
Burnout, Rest, and Energy Drainers
Jay suggests burnout comes from misaligned work, and Marianna responds that rest matters too, sharing how a weekend off helped and how she once got a stomach ulcer. She describes saying no, morning routines and difficult people as energy drainers and givers.
- •Marianna agrees only in part that burnout comes from misaligned work, saying rest is also needed
- •Taking one weekend off left her feeling refreshed
- •Saying no and keeping her routines protect her energy
- •She can love people from a distance when they drain her
A Smaller Circle of Core Friends
Jay asks how she has outgrown groups. Marianna describes a core group of about five friends of over a decade, including Audrey, and how she learned in her 30s that a smaller circle is fine.
- •She prefers quality of friends over quantity
- •She has about five friends of over a decade, including Audrey, who she met in 2006
- •In her 20s in Los Angeles she felt she had to prove herself around some people
- •Jay suggests seeing relationships as degrees of connection
Do You Really Want to Run a Company?
Jay asks what people should consider before becoming founders. Marianna says she wishes she'd been asked whether she truly wanted to run a company, since most days are operations rather than launches. She suggests that people who don't might offer their skills to existing brands, and Jay shares his Calm partnership.
- •Launches are only a few days a year, while the rest is operations, finances and managing people
- •Summer Fridays founders didn't pay themselves for the first few years
- •Alternatives include consulting, creative direction or helping brands with product
- •Jay joined Calm as chief purpose officer rather than building a competitor
- •Reaching out to a brand you love can open doors
Raising Money and Hiring a CEO
Marianna explains Summer Fridays was self-funded before raising money in 2019. She compares choosing investors to dating and marriage, describes the minority investors they chose, and explains why they hired a CEO.
- •They raised money in 2019 to take the brand to the next level
- •Marianna compares raising money to dating and a business to a marriage
- •They chose a minority investment from two women they trusted
- •Their first big hire was a CEO in 2020, so they could focus on product, marketing and branding
- •Alignment on goals makes decisions easier
Deciding What Truly Matters Without Ego
Jay asks how she separates what's important to her from what she thinks is important. Marianna explains she lives for herself, reviews her energy drainers regularly, and never took the CEO title, so there was no stepping down.
- •She isn't living for titles or other people's opinions
- •She takes regular inventory using intentions, journaling and notes on her energy drainers
- •She aims to hand off tasks she doesn't enjoy
- •Most people don't know titles anyway
- •Doing work you don't want leads to unhappiness and can hurt the business
Routines, Meditation, and Intentions Over Goals
Marianna explains how podcast guests inspired her morning routine and how she adapted it to what works for her. She describes her meditation and why she frames goals as intentions, and Jay says intentions are what you put in while goals are what you want out.
- •She tested routine items for a week and kept only what made her feel better
- •Meditation is her only stillness of the day, 13 to 20 minutes with a bell
- •Intentions are kinder than goals because some outcomes, like follower counts, are out of her control
- •Jay says measuring yourself against intentions avoids feeling like a failure
Writing Out Life Goals and Enjoying the Present
Marianna describes writing down everything she wanted to accomplish and the age, running out of goals at 45. This made her slow down and be grateful for the present. Jay adds a story about a friend whose business slowed after he found love.
- •Her list of goals ran out at 45, though she expects to live decades longer
- •The exercise helped her enjoy where she is now
- •Being grateful that she once wished for what she has today
- •Jay says work and life are interrelated, with a friend's story as an example
Presence, Gratitude, Longevity, and Brain Health
Asked what she's working on, Marianna says presence, framing tasks as 'I get to', and caring for her health for the long term, inspired by her parents. Jay shares his interest in healthspan, and they discuss gratitude for good health.
- •Shifting from 'I have to' to 'I get to' changed her mindset
- •The older she gets, the younger she feels
- •Her parents stay sharp through crosswords and reading, which inspires her to care for brain and heart health
- •Jay wants to live healthier for longer, not just longer
- •She writes gratitude for her body, mind and soul in her journal
Managing Stress as a High Performer
Jay raises the higher cortisol that comes with ambition. Marianna shares her practices, including Pilates, an Oura Ring, sleep tracking and magnesium, plus avoiding stress-inducing media. She also describes how stress shows up physically for her.
- •She chooses workouts like Pilates that leave her rested, not more stressed
- •She tracks sleep with an Oura Ring and takes magnesium and supplements
- •She avoids scary movies and shows that increase anxiety
- •Stress once gave her a rash after a missed flight
- •She focuses on controlling what she can since stress will happen anyway
Closing Reflections and Final Five
Jay and Marianna exchange kind words about each other's content and the blend of ambition and kindness. Marianna answers the Final Five on advice, intuition, social media, health and saying a full-body yes.
- •Best advice: don't be afraid of being told no
- •Worst advice: not to launch Summer Fridays with the jet lag mask, which she followed her gut on anyway
- •Jay shares how a rejected brand video became his most watched
- •She values social media less as an identity and more as a tool
- •Her law would be to say yes only to things that are a full-body yes

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