Noah Cyrus ON: FOCUS ON YOURSELF, NOT OTHERS - Stop Negative Thoughts & Build SELF LOVE

Noah Cyrus 0:00 When you say confident, I definitely don't feel that word-

Jay Shetty 0:03 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 0:03 ... majority of the time. Actually, maybe ever, but I- I'm constantly learning-

Jay Shetty 0:09 Yes

Noah Cyrus 0:09 ... and constantly growing. The bestselling author and host.

Jay Shetty 0:11 The number one health and wellness podcast. On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in the world, thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. I'm curious about people's stories. I'm curious about how we find healing. I'm curious about how creativity and self-expression can sometimes be the best medicine for what we're going through in life. And I want you to hear from people of different backgrounds and different walks of life so that you can find similarities, connection, your story and their story, so that it can feel like an emotional connection that we often miss, and we often feel so lonely and isolated. But hopefully, this podcast makes you feel heard, and hopefully it makes you feel seen, and hopefully it makes you feel understood. Uh, today's guest is none other than Noah Cyrus, who grabbed the reins in her own life during some of the most difficult moments, took control of it, and told her story like never before. The Grammy Award-nominated multi-platinum Nashville-born and LA-based singer and songwriter uncovered the kind of strength you only find within. Noah has stepped into herself on her 2022 full-length debut album, The Hardest Part. Emerging at the age of 16, she immediately captivated audiences with platinum singles Make Me (Cry) and Again. The End Of Everything EP yielded the triple platinum July and Gold Lonely. In between earning a Grammy Award in the category of Best New Artist, Noah has performed at Coachella twice, and Billboard named her among its 21 Under 21 for three straight years. Please welcome to the show Noah Cyrus. Noah.

Noah Cyrus 2:02 Whoa, [laughs] okay. Hi.

Jay Shetty 2:04 [laughs] Thank you for being here.

Noah Cyrus 2:05 That, that was quite a intro. Whoa. Thank you.

Jay Shetty 2:09 Well, I, I always say to pe- I... It's so funny, like, every time I intro someone, that is always the reaction. I'm like, I say the same thing. I'm like, "Well, you did that. Like, you lived that."

Noah Cyrus 2:17 Oh.

Jay Shetty 2:17 Like, you actually had to, you actually had to experience all of that, and work for it, and earn it, and go through the ups and downs that come with doing all of that, so.

Noah Cyrus 2:27 I- we all do, right?

Jay Shetty 2:28 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 2:28 Everybody, it's hard. Like, whoa, that was... Thanks for that intro. Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's nice, like we were just saying, nice to meet you in person.

Jay Shetty 2:39 Yes.

Noah Cyrus 2:39 We got to meet over Zoom two years ago. We just talked about it briefly, but, like, you're so nice. Like, it's so nice to meet you, and, like, th- this was not on camera, but you ran out so n- quick as soon as I was here to give me a hug. You're, like, so nice. It's great to be in a room with you actually.

Jay Shetty 2:57 Aw, thank you.

Noah Cyrus 2:57 Finally.

Jay Shetty 2:58 No, well, the feeling's very mutual. I was saying to you off-camera as well that when my team and I were, were talking about having you on the show and we were so excited about that, I had such a wonderful experience with you a couple of years ago when you interviewed me on your podcast, even though it was digitally. I just really felt like you were so great at talking about so many important, meaningful things to give me a voice, to give me a platform. I felt so humbled and grateful, and same with you. Like, meeting you today, I'm like, "This is so warm." Like, you allowed me to just give you a big hug, and I was like, [laughs] I don't know if I was gonna wreck your makeup or your outfit. [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 3:31 Oh my God, no, no.

Jay Shetty 3:31 I was just, like, totally not conscious.

Noah Cyrus 3:33 No.

Jay Shetty 3:33 I felt terrible. [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 3:34 No. No, no, no, no, not even at all. I don't even-

Jay Shetty 3:37 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 3:38 ... whatever about that. Um, no, I, I was so happy whenever I heard that your team had reached out for us to get in the room and talk. I know it took us a bit for us to schedule everything, but I'm so happy to finally be here with you. And also,

Noah Cyrus 3:53 like, I, the last time I, we spoke, I feel like I was in a much darker, different place, and I'm doing so much better now. And so it's great to really be here and be present with you and get to really experience you and how great you are.

Jay Shetty 4:07 Well, first of all, I want to congratulate you on that transformation and transition. I think that to acknowledge you even just saying that and how much work you've had to do to get there, to feel that way. And like I said to you, I had a positive experience with you even then.

Noah Cyrus 4:22 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 4:22 And so I'm very grateful to experience you, as you said, in what you feel is the best version of yourself at the moment, which is so beautiful, and I loved a video I saw on your TikTok-

Noah Cyrus 4:34 Okay

Jay Shetty 4:34 ... uh, which is you and your dad.

Noah Cyrus 4:36 Okay. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 4:36 And it was so beautiful, and it was like, I think you said something like, you know, "I wish these days never end."

Noah Cyrus 4:41 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 4:41 Like, tell me about what was so special about that. I mean, just watching it, it was, it just, it was so joyful.

Noah Cyrus 4:47 That's-

Jay Shetty 4:48 And it was so special.

Noah Cyrus 4:49 Honestly, that's a common feeling I get whenever I'm with him or with my family. Honestly, with life in general, I just wish the days were longer. Oh, you've caught me on, like, an emotional day, so if I cry during this podcast, guys, this is, like, a normal thing for me kind of. But, um, that's just a common feeling I get, especially when I'm home in Nashville, just wish, wishing I had more time, but that trip was great. I hadn't seen my dad in a long time, and lately I've been able to, since that TikTok actually, which was posted last year, I think, or-

Jay Shetty 5:24 Was it?

Noah Cyrus 5:24 ... or earlier the, really early this year-

Jay Shetty 5:26 Oh my gosh

Noah Cyrus 5:26 ... it had to have been, but it's an older TikTok. I've been able to see him much more frequently. But when I had been writing for this album, actually, the album's out on September 16th, and I had written about that specific feeling actually, like, a couple years ago, and it's actually the title track of my record, Hardest Part. And I wrote about that with my dad, 'cause I just, you know, growing up, he would be in Nashville, I would be in LA or back and forth, and there was a lot of missing him, and I guess it's really no, uh, secret that my family had been going through hard times and with- in their marriage and things like that. And so there was a lot- That was unsaid between us, and I wanted to write about it in my music, and my music is really an outlet for me and my emotions. And I don't know, we had a really beautiful day a few years ago, which wasn't when I made that TikTok, but I wrote about it in my, in my record just because I wish I could get more of those days, and there's just not enough time, and yeah.

Jay Shetty 6:34 Yeah, no, it was, it was beautiful to see. And yeah, now I think, I think you pinned it. That's why I, I-

Noah Cyrus 6:38 Yeah, it's up very new

Jay Shetty 6:39 ... uh, yeah, it's, it's pinned at the top

Noah Cyrus 6:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 6:41 Yeah, yeah. So-

Noah Cyrus 6:41 But the, yeah, the TikTok's old, but the song's about an even older story. But that, yeah, there was a ... Trends are cool like that with TikTok. I'll see something on TikTok and I'm like, "Oh, that actually really means something."

Jay Shetty 6:53 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 6:53 Like, we should do that. And my friend Amari was like, "You have to do this with your dad."

Jay Shetty 6:57 I love that.

Noah Cyrus 6:58 So, um, but-

Jay Shetty 6:58 No, it was so special. It, it was, it was really joyful and

Jay Shetty 7:02 special to watch. And speaking about what you're talking about, you were saying you've said that your goal is really the ... current goal is to, like, really heal your inner child. And I think that's such a beautiful goal to have, first of all, and I think a lot of our community, a lot of our listeners have that same goal as well. I think we're all going through this experience of realizing that we've neglected our inner child. We haven't listened to that inner child. We haven't acknowledged it. How did you even discover that that was a goal you had? Like, how did you even come to that point of acknowledging that that was something you wanted to pursue?

Noah Cyrus 7:36 Identifying my emotions and what was causing a lot of my problems and, and then con- making that connection to childhood was first of all the start. Um, and with that, I probably wouldn't have even been able to make that connection had it not been for m- my therapist and really, really, really trying with therapy. 'Cause even I feel like when we spoke, I, I had a relationship with my therapist that I would kind of try to reschedule our sessions, and I wouldn't keep up with it, and I would fall behind. It's actually a lot of work to keep up with it, um, because, you know, some days you're gonna feel really good. And for me, it's hard for me on those good days to wanna keep up or maybe I don't wanna start feeling sad feelings or bring anything up and ... But it's actually really important to keep working. And so once I identified that, like, I had a lot of sadness involved with my inner child, and I had a lot I needed to heal, but I really, really owe that to therapy, and I, and I really highly suggest just an outlet of being able to get your emotions out somewhere where regardless of what that outlet is for you.

Jay Shetty 8:47 Yeah. I, I, I think that's beautifully said. And what, what were some of those emotions that you felt as a child or that you experienced that became so important for you to heal? Like, what were some of those experiences that stayed with you?

Noah Cyrus 8:59 One major one was self-love and, and body image, um, love and, and body dysmorphia. I developed that at such a young age, and it's been really hard for me to reframe my mind to, to be able to even look at my younger self and love that version of me. And now that I've began to get there, I'm, I'm now there. And, you know, for me, that was so heartbreaking that I couldn't ... I felt like I couldn't even really love a child, myself as a child. I felt like I wasn't even loving that version of myself, and I could never imagine not loving a child. You know what I mean? But I ... And, and so that was where I, I knew I needed to start. And now, of course, I wanna protect that version of myself so much because I just see this fragile child who n- is like every child in the world that just needs love and, and to be cared for. And of course I was. I have an am- amazing family, but there's just some things that, especially, I mean, in my, in my personal experience with body image, that just some things people just can't see, that people just can't feel 'cause it's your body, your mind, your eyes, you know? And it's hard, and it feels like you're alone in those times. And in your brain it's just you in there with that inner voice, and it, and it gets really dark, and it gets really lonely, especially, I mean, certainly

Noah Cyrus 10:23 in my experience.

Jay Shetty 10:24 Yeah. And how does it feel when everyone around you is saying, "Oh, but you're beautiful," or, "You're this," or, "You're that"? Like, walk us through a bit of that because I think a lot of people have that challenge where, like, everyone's telling you you're great, but then there's still this voice inside of you that feels that way. What were some of those ... What's been some of the work behind the scenes that you've been doing in therapy and for yourself to kinda get to that place of self-acceptance and self-love as you said earlier?

Noah Cyrus 10:50 That's very much still a work in progress for me, and something my therapist and I talk about is how progress is kind of in you're going up, but it's circular motions.

Jay Shetty 11:01 Yes.

Noah Cyrus 11:01 And in a circle you still go down, and then you go up, and you go down. And so it's ... I'm going through that very much with self-love and with my body image. My personal experience was online and in other places I was bullied over the way I looked so terribly. Like, the wor- the words that were used are still so scarring to me where I'm almost embarrassed to bring it up or talk about it. Like, it, it was very traumatizing for me. So it was very hard for me to believe what people in my life were saying. So it gave me actually a lot of trust issues that weren't there with people in my life because I felt as if everybody was lying to me, which is still actually something I work on now still is my trust with people and, and going with things and just being okay with this is me. This is my body. This is who I am. This is what God gave me. This is, this is just who I am. There's nothing I can do to change it and, and, you know, while I'm here I've gotta accept it, and I'm really working hard to do so. You know, it gives me comfort if to, if it gives anybody else comfort that it gives me comfort that you tell me other people feel that way when other people are saying, "You are this. You are beautiful. You are that." 'Cause it, it, when you feel the opposite in your body and your mind and your soul, you're not, you're never gonna hear it from anybody else. And it's the same with, you know, loving yourself and, and, you know, you have to truly love yourself and, and, and it's, and it's hard to get there if you don't

Jay Shetty 12:40 It's so encouraging though, to hear that you went through this experience earlier on, yet you've still found a way of expressing how you feel in the public eye and still being open to people's opinions and their reaction to you, and that's takes incredible, like, confidence and, and self-assurance because a lot of people would just say, "All right, I'm done with this. I'm just gonna go and hide." Like, I just don't wanna-

Noah Cyrus 13:10 I feel that way every day.

Jay Shetty 13:11 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 13:12 Every day. So again, it's like-

Jay Shetty 13:14 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 13:14 ... kind of a battle with myself.

Jay Shetty 13:15 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 13:16 But I feel that way all the time. When you say confident, I definitely don't feel that word-

Jay Shetty 13:21 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 13:22 ... majority of the time, actually maybe ever. But I, I'm constantly learning-

Jay Shetty 13:27 Yes

Noah Cyrus 13:27 ... and constantly growing.

Jay Shetty 13:29 Yes.

Noah Cyrus 13:29 So.

Jay Shetty 13:29 And those are the two best things like that-

Noah Cyrus 13:31 Yeah

Jay Shetty 13:31 ... to me, that's what I f- where I use that word, it was like, people don't usually feel confident or they're not confident, but the way they act actually displays confidence. And I think that's what's so interesting about confidence is that no one whoever is confident feels it. It's just that people from the outside go, "Wow, that takes a lot of guts," or like, "That still takes a lot of resilience." And, and that's what I'm noticing that, you know, to, to still be

Jay Shetty 13:57 in the public eye. But walk us through, you know, we're talking about the hardest part, which is, you know, incredible to see you putting your challenges, stress, pain into music. When did, when did music start to become that healing for you, and what was beautiful about the process behind this album? Like, what did you experience in the making of this album?

Noah Cyrus 14:20 Music's always been extremely healing, but especially with this album, the process of finishing it up on the production side with Mike Crossey, he executive produced the entire album. We spent a couple months together, just him and I and Steven, his engineer, and a couple days towards the end we'd have musicians in, but just locked in, focused on the music. It was the first time ever in my life, or in my career I should say, that I felt really in touch with my own musicianship and myself as like an actual artist, not just a singer and a writer. It came at a time where I was about six months into my recovery process. I really needed some structure, something to focus on, something to put my energy towards, an outlet for my emotions, even if I wasn't writing. I had written a few songs that actually just had to go onto the album, like My Side of the Bed is one of my favorites on the whole album, or I Burned LA Down, which was the first single off of the record. Occasionally, I would get to lyrically make that, get that outlet for my emotions, but musically I really found a way to do so, and it really shows in the record, and it was... that's what made it such a healing process, was I feel like I really found myself sonically, lyrically, and emotionally and spiritually on this record.

Jay Shetty 15:57 That's incredible. I, I love what you pointed out then. It came out f- it flowed naturally from you. But for everyone who's listening, I just wanna capture this. You said that during your recovery process, six months in, you found structure, focus, and an outlet, and I think all of those things are such beautiful takeaways. Everyone who's listening may not be a musician or a writer or a, or a singer, but the idea that we all need when we're going through our own recovery, structure, a focus, and an outlet, and those are such practical ways that we can shift where we are. Walk us through some of that. What was your structure like? Like, what, what were you, what was your focus? Like, were you thinking about something when you woke up in the morning when you were writing the song? Like, what was your daily routine like, and what were your habits like at that time?

Noah Cyrus 16:44 So at the time of recording the album, we had, which I loved the whiteboard, we had a whiteboard in the studio.

Jay Shetty 16:51 [laughs] Love whiteboards.

Noah Cyrus 16:51 But it had our week out, and every single week on Fridays we'd sit and plan out what we were gonna do for the next week. So for example, one week would be vocals week, and we'd do each song like in a day. And then, um, we'd also have like, okay, this next week we're gonna be recording bass, guitar, strings, whatever. I'd go in after I'd have therapy in the morning, wake up, walk my dogs, do therapy, go to the studio, record whatever instruments we were doing that day, whatever vocals, and really get to experiment with this new elevated sound that I was making. Um, and so really we just had like this strict schedule that like every day I was in at a certain time, and by the end of the day we both had, Mike has two kids, so bedtime's 8:00. He needs to leave at 6:00. We just had our daily routine, which I think saved me so much because without a daily routine, I'm very the type that can easily just slip into my room and not turn the lights on or get out of bed for like weeks. And I've actually been having a bit of a back and forth battle with kind of doing that now and just self-isolation because I'm so used to doing so. So really just having, even if it was just, you know, a studio- ... routine where it was this day we're recording this, and this day we're tracking this, or this day we're Zooming this person, or they're coming in here. It really, like, saved me, and falling in love with music again saved me because I think it's also easy to alienate yourself or get alienated by things you love whenever-

Jay Shetty 18:48 Oh, so true

Noah Cyrus 18:48 ... whenever you're doing it such a long time or, you know, things get tough and, you know, things don't go your way, and then they do go your way so suddenly. So I guess the point is to just keep going and never give up and, you know, but it, it gets

Noah Cyrus 19:03 hard.

Jay Shetty 19:03 Yeah, I love that point you made. It's so interesting how we can fall out of love with something that we're so deeply in love with. I, I can so relate to that in so many ways. Let's, let's talk about that a bit because I think that's just a fascinating idea. I think we think that when you're in love with a thing, an idea, a person, a place, a home, we expect that once you're in love, you just stay in love.

Noah Cyrus 19:29 Mm.

Jay Shetty 19:30 And like you were saying earlier with your therapist, it's more like the other way. Like, you fall in, you fall out, it changes, it grows, it moves. You fall in, you fall out, it changes, it grows. How have you learned to fall in love with music again? Structure was a part of that. Was there something else that helped you fall back in love with something that you'd fallen out of love with? Or what made- Actually, a better question is what made you fall out of love with music, and then what helped you fall back in love?

Noah Cyrus 19:53 I'm not sure if I ever completely fell out of love.

Jay Shetty 19:57 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 19:57 I think after doing this since I was 16 years old, there's been a lot of times where I've felt really encouraged to keep going, but there's also a little discouragement at times. It's hard whenever there's a lot of people in your ears and people wanting you to be a certain way and do a certain thing, and so I think for a long time I didn't trust my own vision because I felt as if other people didn't either. Um, and so I almost just kinda wanted to give up and didn't really have a vision at all, but being able to go and experiment and find who I am sonically and what that sounds like to me and, you know, there's so much of me on that track. I'm playing piano on that track. I'm playing sub. I'm playing percussion. I'm playing... The just- Even if they were just little bits of sounds, like, it was me and I was inside of it. All the instruments are live. I got to, you know, I... For so long, piano was my favorite instrument for so long, but now it's pedal steel.

Jay Shetty 21:00 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 21:01 And, you know, and I just, I've fallen in love with instruments again and, um, that ignited so much excitement for me and it ignited so much excitement with the album campaign and performing and f- and everything that comes with music and, and being able to experience what it's like once it's out of the studio. And so that really ignited a lot of excitement in me again.

Jay Shetty 21:24 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 21:24 And then again, like, again, the writing process was also amazing. A lot of it was painful at the time. A lot of it was maybe in bits and pieces and different timelines of where I was personally, but I think that's also what makes it special. The album definitely is very dynamic with, with the sounds and the instruments sonically. There's a lot of emotions, a lot of conversations. But to your point really quick about the falling in and out of love, weirdly enough, Friday, or tonight actually at 9:00 PM, I have a song coming out with Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie, and it's one of my favorite bands of all time. He's one of my favorite artists ever. And our song is about that feeling of it's not you genuinely, it's not me genuinely, we're just falling out of love. Like, that's just we're not the same anymore. We're, we've grown. We've been, we've, we've, we're drifting apart, and I think that really does happen with people. I know both people from personal experience and from witnessing others have to be fully invested in one another and both have to want to light that fire again, and if just one of you don't, then it, it really, it's nearly, I think, impossible to get that back.

Jay Shetty 22:47 Yeah. And I couldn't agree... That's so, that's so beautifully said. I, I couldn't agree with you more that I think that's what often is the truth that we don't want to accept, is that someone doesn't want to try again.

Noah Cyrus 23:01 No.

Jay Shetty 23:02 We don't even wanna accept that because it's so painful to accept. We're, we're like, "We wanna try again," but that person doesn't wanna try again, and, and that's the hardest part. Like, that, that's really tough because you're like, "But I'm still in this." But then what I find interesting about what you just said there, yeah, it's also that person realizing, "Well, I'm still in this because I still think that person's the same as who they were." But now using your words, you're like, "We've

Jay Shetty 23:27 just outgrown each other." Like-

Noah Cyrus 23:29 Do you think people change? Like, do people change? I put out this EP, right? And I titled it People Don't Change because a lot of, in my personal experience-

Jay Shetty 23:39 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 23:39 ... I set out to want to change, and I think I'm in the process of changing my life. I don't know if I can exactly change who I am at the core. What do you, what do you think about that?

Jay Shetty 23:50 That's such a great question-

Noah Cyrus 23:51 Because I, I-

Jay Shetty 23:52 ... and it's such a big question

Noah Cyrus 23:52 ... go back and forth.

Jay Shetty 23:53 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 23:54 I don't... And if somebody asked me, I wouldn't know, but I-

Jay Shetty 23:56 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 23:56 ... I wanna know your take on it.

Jay Shetty 23:58 Yeah. I would say I do believe that transformation and change is possible, but it's not very probable. The probability is low, but the possibility is high. And what I mean by that is everyone has the opportunity to change, but the path is long, hard, and often requires- Big amounts of tragedy, stress, and turmoil to even get someone to have that opportunity to take that path. And so I don't think I would ever write off, I genuinely believe in real transformation and change, and I believe in the possibility of it. I think the probability and the expectation and the speed we want it to happen at is unlikely. I also believe that people don't change for people, and I think that's often when we say people will change, it's often us- the real full sentence is, "People will change for me." Right? And I think that's really what we're saying, and that I don't agree with. I don't think someone changes for someone else. I think people change for themselves when they realize that, "If I don't change, then that's not good for me." But the probability of that happening is low until something massively painful or drastic happens in their life. And I agree with you on the core thing, like I look at, I went through a huge change externally in terms of I became a monk. I left my time as a monk that I lived for three years in India, and then I live the life I do today, and but I'm still the same person I always was at the core. Like what you just said, like at the core, I'm the same person. I, I was raised by my mom. She taught me to be polite. I, I like people, I'm kind. I'm, uh, these are the things I learned from my mom when I was a kid, and I'm still all those things, and I've grown, but I'm still the same person at the core. And so I think that people can. I've seen amazing changes in people. I've seen people who've gone from doing the worst things to doing the best things. I've seen people go from... But the probability is not as high, and it won't happen for a person. So I don't know if that helps to answer your question, but-

Noah Cyrus 26:10 No, no, it does.

Jay Shetty 26:11 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 26:12 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 26:12 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 26:12 Because, I mean, it's kind of exactly how I feel about it, too.

Jay Shetty 26:17 Oh, good. So- [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 26:17 Yeah. No, I mean, I agree. Like, and you know, from experience of seeing that, I mean, even in positive ways, you don't have to look at it as a negative way-

Jay Shetty 26:28 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 26:28 ... not losing yourself and who you are at the core. Like, I mean, I feel like I lost that for a long time, and in a positive way, I got it back. Um, and again, that was a lot to do with who I am and who I was as a younger child.

Jay Shetty 26:45 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 26:45 Um, because I also felt that change and shift in myself at such a young age. I mean, I still look at 17 and 18 years old as a child to me-

Jay Shetty 26:57 Yeah? Oh, absolutely

Noah Cyrus 26:58 ... and, and very, very young and, and lived on my own at 17 and thought I had the whole thing figured out and, you know, very quickly after, everything shifted very drastically and, you know, until I was maybe just a year ago, I started feeling like who I was when I put my very first single out, maybe-

Jay Shetty 27:21 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 27:21 ... or maybe even way, way, way before. I don't really remember when I truly lost or started disconnecting from who I really am or started disliking or not loving who I really was, you know?

Jay Shetty 27:35 Yeah, yeah. And actually, I think you've just answered it. Like, I think ultimately when we're both talking about change, we're talking about growth.

Noah Cyrus 27:42 Yeah, absolutely.

Jay Shetty 27:43 And it's like what you've been saying this whole interview so far, it's like you're like, "It's an everyday thing. It's a work in progress. I'm still working on it." Like, that's what growth is, and I think when we look at growth in ourselves, we realize it's a daily process. But when we look at change in someone else, we want it to be drastic and tomorrow.

Noah Cyrus 28:03 Absolutely.

Jay Shetty 28:04 Right? It's different expectations we have of change, if that makes sense.

Noah Cyrus 28:07 No, that was a really good way to put it.

Jay Shetty 28:09 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 28:09 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 28:09 Like we, you know, it's like I know if I need to change, it's gonna take a few years.

Noah Cyrus 28:12 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 28:13 But I'm hoping this person changes tomorrow.

Noah Cyrus 28:15 Tomorrow.

Jay Shetty 28:15 Yeah, yeah.

Noah Cyrus 28:16 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 28:16 And that's where I think our expectations and change kind of get too mixed up. So change is possible. Our expectation

Jay Shetty 28:23 is a slightly messier thing. What's a big change you think you've made in your life that has had a big change externally? Like internally, what is a change that you've made, even a simple thing that you feel has-

Noah Cyrus 28:36 I mean, the most major change for me was, was stop taking Xanax. That completely, I, was ruining my life. It ru- it, it was the scariest, most alone I had ever felt, except it made me feel as if I had comfort whenever I was on-

Jay Shetty 29:00 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 29:00 ... the substances I was taking at which time. That was, you know, the poison that I really had to get out of my life and, um, make that change. Had I not done that, I touch on it on the album, but I'm not 100% sure I would've been able to be sitting here having this conversation with you because I didn't really want to be alive anymore. You know, when I did have this moment of clarity, even if it was for a second, I did not wanna forget that I had one thought that like maybe I could turn this around. I called who I needed to call, and I made that change. So absolutely without a doubt, I mean, that's just the first thing that comes to mind because had I not done, done that, like I com- I, it saved my life getting off of, off of Xanax, so.

Jay Shetty 29:56 That's, that's amazing. Thank you so much for being so open-

Noah Cyrus 29:58 Yeah

Jay Shetty 29:59 ... and vulnerable with us. I can tell that obviously it's not an easy thing to talk about, especially when it's been a part of your life in that way, so thank you so much.

Noah Cyrus 30:07 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 30:07 And, and even more so just that's incredible. Like, that's amazing and, and you know, I think there's so many people listening and watching who I'm sure their family members, they've been in that position. You know, I think it's incredible, isn't it? How lonely you can be made to feel when actually it's a hugely collective experience. Um, and, and I think that's gonna help a lot of people, you sharing that and, and that making that change in your life. Uh, and, and, and being with you today, I'm like, that's, that's amazing. It's-

Noah Cyrus 30:35 Thank you

Jay Shetty 30:35 ... it's truly incredible.

Noah Cyrus 30:36 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 30:37 Yeah. I think, I think we need to, uh, acknowledge and celebrate that more, because again, it takes so much strength to do that.

Noah Cyrus 30:45 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 30:46 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 30:46 I just hope... Honestly, I think my goal with all of this and being open about it is-

Jay Shetty 30:51 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 30:51 ... I do know that, um, I'm not trying to be an example for anybody.

Jay Shetty 30:58 Totally. Totally.

Noah Cyrus 30:59 I'm just trying to s- share my experience because I also had a lot of people... I mean, we did a podcast years ago. I have, I've had a musi- music career since I was 16 years old. I had a lot of people looking in since I was a baby, just due to the family I was born in, and with Instagram and social media and things like that, interviews, I felt that a part of me was seen that, you know, I allowed out there. But I really wanted an explanation for, I think, a lot of, like, the things I had posted on my Instagram, and I felt like there were a lot of things, like, you know, friends reaching out worried about me after I would post an Instagram story and, you know, just the look in my eyes was scary to a lot of people. And there's a few interviews, and particularly when I just hear the way I was talking, where I feel so ashamed and so guilty, and I think that's another thing, is, like, the shame and the guilt and the regret is inevitable when going through this. So for anyone listening to know that that's normal, um, and that's something I experience every single day even though I know I probably shouldn't. It's, it's just something you experience.

Jay Shetty 32:15 Mm-hmm.

Noah Cyrus 32:15 And it's, it's something I'm going through and go through, and sometimes it's better and sometimes it's worse, but I... it's just all part of the process.

Jay Shetty 32:26 Yes.

Noah Cyrus 32:26 Yeah. Again, I think that also goes back to just learning to love yourself and, and look out for yourself and nurture yourself whenever you're being so hard on yourself for completely changing your life, you know? But I go hard on myself about before and what it was like two years ago or three years ago, and that's just something I'm processing and dealing with-

Jay Shetty 32:49 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 32:49 ... as of now.

Jay Shetty 32:50 Yeah. And I, and I think that that's, that's... I love what you said, that it's, it's not about being an example. It's just encouraging to, to hear that that is what you go through. I think it's so interesting that every day we feel hot and we feel cold and we feel maybe sweaty. We feel really cold. We feel like we're freezing. Like, we go through so many different body changes every day, and we would never judge ourselves for that. We wouldn't be like, "Oh, I'm the worst. I should have worn a longer sleeve T-shirt." Like, you just go and put a sweater on or whatever. And, and I think it's the same with our emotions. Like, we're experiencing so many emotions throughout the day, but we don't give ourselves the permission to say, "Oh, I'm allowed to feel cold," and then get a sweater to feel warm. Like, we don't do that with our emotions, if that makes sense, and saying, "Hey, I do feel a bit of shame, but then maybe I n- need to feel a bit of this to, to help, you know, even it out." And so I love that that's the process you're on, and I, I agree with you. It's a daily thing. I don't think there's anyone who never... Just like there's no one in the world who never feels hot or cold, there's no one who doesn't feel sad or down or happy or unhappy. Like, we're all feeling all of them at different spectrums and different extremes. So learning our own patterns and learning our own thoughts is, is pretty much, you know, what we

Jay Shetty 34:11 all need to focus on, so. I, I wanted to pick something that, this was a lyric from I Burn Down, uh, Burned LA Down, and you said, and obviously it's about feeling like you have to burn LA Down to get s- someone you're dating's attention, but this was the lyric that I thought was really beautiful. You s- I'm, I'm g- I can't sing, so-

Noah Cyrus 34:30 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 34:30 ... please do not expect anything. I'm just gonna read it out. [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 34:33 Okay.

Jay Shetty 34:33 "I waste my breath on a prayer. You don't care. I was never part of the plan. You can't make a god of somebody who's not even half of half a decent man." Like, that lyric is just-

Noah Cyrus 34:47 It's a pretty cold lyric, yeah.

Jay Shetty 34:49 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 34:49 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 34:49 But, but it's also just, like, a, a very raw emotion, and I thought it was... It's, it's cold, but it's poetically put together.

Noah Cyrus 34:57 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 34:58 So it's, it's, uh, it's powerful, and I think a lot of people could relate to that. I think the... I wanted to pick a few moments, if you don't mind, of, of that lyric. The, "You can't make a god of somebody," I find that such an interesting concept. I think so many of us are looking for God in the people we idolize, the people we follow, the sports teams, the, the musicians, the actors, the... even parents and people in our lives. Like, we're all looking for that god figure in so many ways, and, you know, you rightly say in that lyric, uh, "You can't make a god of somebody." Like, where did, where did that come from? I wanted to hear that idea, 'cause I thought that was a really powerful concept.

Noah Cyrus 35:34 My poetic way of always just completely falling into people and how much I completely rely and give myself to people, I think obviously I've been very open that it's been hard to rely on myself in the past. I always looked in that for other p- in, in other people. At the time, especially of COVID and everybody's isolation, it was just me and that one other person, and so my entire life revolved around that one other person every single day, whether they were happy, they were sad, if they were comfortable, uncomfortable, if they were mad or not mad, if they loved me or didn't love me. My entire life became w- w- revolved around somebody else. I've definitely done that in the past, and like you said, again, people with, uh... are like that Can be with many different things. It's finding the right things to do that with. And, and, and with me it was my album and worshiping music and actually finding myself and who I am and loving myself. But that was where that lyric came from, is just it felt like worship the way that I admired this person.

Jay Shetty 36:58 And then you had to redirect that worship towards your music and your craft and your-

Noah Cyrus 37:02 Yeah

Jay Shetty 37:02 ... creativity. Would you say that's correct, or actually-

Noah Cyrus 37:04 Absolutely. And I think also I've been thinking a lot about my spirituality lately, and I think that's a huge different conversation for a whole other time.

Jay Shetty 37:13 Yeah. [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 37:13 But, you know, it just so... I, I, I, falling in love with other things, and the world's so interesting, and, uh, the universe is so interesting, and energy is such a powerful thing, and I just, I wanna learn more about it and, and, and God and, and what that is to me and other people and who... And, and just it's all so interesting, and I just wanna know. I wanna learn more, I wanna grow more. Again, like I said, this all goes back to growing instead of using the word change. Going, going, going to the word growing. Growing I think is good.

Jay Shetty 37:46 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 37:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 37:47 Yeah. No, I, I, I can relate to a lot of that in the sense of, like, I feel I was always in love with love growing up. And-

Noah Cyrus 37:53 Yeah, me too

Jay Shetty 37:54 ... and, yeah

Noah Cyrus 37:54 ... I, I fantasized that majorly.

Jay Shetty 37:56 Same. And, and all of it was based on-

Noah Cyrus 37:59 And I still do

Jay Shetty 37:59 ... romantic songs and movies, and none of it was based on reality. It was all based on pop culture and media and, you know. And, and I, for a long time I, I really pursued that type of love, and that was that love that was based on idolizing someone else, worshiping someone else, wanting also to be idolized back, and, and recognizing that there was a part of me that was really seeking that importance through that other individual in the guise of loving them. And I think when I came to the conclusion that similarly to what you're saying, actually, that you can't make a God of somebody, it's like you can't make a God of yourself either, you know? And that, that was a, a really beautiful reflection, but it's, it's a painful one because we get so trained and wired to believe certain things.

Jay Shetty 38:53 What's a, what's a belief that you think you have now about yourself that is healthy and putting you in the right direction and helping you grow? Uh, you talked about some of the beliefs in the past that have held you back. What's a belief now that you have about yourself that, that is helping you move forward in, in this positive direction?

Noah Cyrus 39:12 That I can just ... I can do what I set my mind to do, whether that's with recovery or other things. I used to just say I can't and, or I won't, or... But I actually have shown to myself so many times what I can do, and I think that's something that, like, I repeat to myself every day. I also have "You will be" tatted on my, on my wrist, which I kind of think is kind of the same thing, just that I will be what I set my mind to or what I set my goals to or who I wanna become or who I wanna work on being, and I hope that's kind of enough.

Jay Shetty 40:00 It's a great answer.

Noah Cyrus 40:01 But it's just that I-

Jay Shetty 40:02 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 40:02 ... just, uh, I, I, I had so much doubt in myself, and that's something that has held me back for so long. So I think knowing that and believing that and believing that truly and to my core is new for me, uh, and something I can truly honestly say I feel about myself. I also have a hard time, you know, even when you say that, like, I may... Back to the confidence thing. I sound like I really believe in myself, but at the same time I have battles where I actually have a hard time doing so.

Jay Shetty 40:34 Totally.

Noah Cyrus 40:34 Um, or saying kind things about myself or, you know. So it's kind of a hard battle. So that was kind of the first thing that came to mind.

Jay Shetty 40:43 I thought it was a beautiful answer because I'm like isn't that just such a great thought to repeat, that if I wanted to change something I can. Like, I can with this journey I'm going through therapy, this journey I'm going through recovery. Like, that's, that's such an empowering thought, and I think it's so amazing how we quickly believe negative thoughts about ourselves but we doubt the positive thoughts. And it's like every day if I told myself, which I have at times, like, "I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough," I don't ever question that thought. I'm so cool with accepting that that's just the truth, and I don't think about whether I say it every day or not. I just keep saying it. Whereas when I say, "I can," then we're like, "Oh, wait, wait, wait, did I say that too early? Maybe I don't. Maybe I don't believe it." And, and so I actually love that that was your answer because I think that is the beginning of all change and growth is, is saying, "I can do anything I put my mind to, and, and I have control over what I put my mind to." And so I, I actually think it's a, it's a really great answer, and I'm, I'm hoping that everyone who's listening to that can start making that shift in their life. I had a mentor who'd always repeat Napoleon Hill to me, and so he'd always say to me, "You become what you think about." And he'd get me to repeat it. He'd be like, "Keep saying that. You become what you think about. You become what you think about." And then he'd catch me off guard randomly when he'd see me, and he'd look at me and be like, "Jay, what are you thinking about?" I'd be like, "Nothing." And he goes, "Well, you become what you think about, so what? You gonna become nothing?" Like, and he'd just play with that. And then it was ... I was like, "Oh, interesting. What am I thinking about? What do I obsess over? Like, what do I keep repeating in my mind?" And it was just something as simple as that that started me to be like, "Okay, well, I'm thinking about my purpose. I'm thinking about my service. I'm thinking about how to have an impact in the world. I'm think-" And then I just started seeing my life change, and it is that simple in the beginning. And so I actually think that was a beautiful answer, so- Thank you for sharing that.

Noah Cyrus 42:33 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 42:34 Uh, Noah, I could honestly, and I hope I do get to have that conversation with you another time, as you said, there's a whole separate conversation around-

Noah Cyrus 42:40 Yes

Jay Shetty 42:40 ... spirituality-

Noah Cyrus 42:40 Yeah, yeah

Jay Shetty 42:41 ... discovery. But we end every episode, uh, with a new segment that we started recently-

Noah Cyrus 42:46 Okay

Jay Shetty 42:46 ... which I love, uh, called The Many Sides To Us.

Noah Cyrus 42:50 Okay.

Jay Shetty 42:50 Uh, and this is where you're using words or phrases to talk about yourself through different perspectives. So I'm gonna ask you the questions and, and you can answer them. So the first one is, what's a word or phrase that someone would say about you, meeting you for the first time now, today?

Noah Cyrus 43:07 I don't know.

Jay Shetty 43:09 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 43:09 I think this is hard.

Jay Shetty 43:10 Can I give you one?

Noah Cyrus 43:11 Yes. You give me one-

Jay Shetty 43:12 So-

Noah Cyrus 43:12 'Cause I can't-

Jay Shetty 43:13 Yeah, exactly. Yeah. [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 43:14 You-

Jay Shetty 43:14 So I met you today for the first time in person, and I... The word that came to my mind was sincere.

Noah Cyrus 43:22 Okay.

Jay Shetty 43:23 Really sincere.

Noah Cyrus 43:24 Okay.

Jay Shetty 43:24 Like, you were so sincere and genuine, uh, in your initial words to me and what we were talking about when you first came in, and there was just so much sincerity and genuineness there, so-

Noah Cyrus 43:35 Okay

Jay Shetty 43:35 ... that's how I think you come-

Noah Cyrus 43:36 Okay

Jay Shetty 43:36 ... across to someone.

Noah Cyrus 43:37 All right. Thank you. Thank you.

Jay Shetty 43:38 [laughs] So I did that for you, so.

Noah Cyrus 43:39 Thank you. That's good.

Jay Shetty 43:40 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 43:41 I'm, I'm hopefully not gonna have a hard time with this.

Jay Shetty 43:43 [laughs] I don't... The, the rest will be easy. Uh, what is a word that you use, that someone would describe you that knows you well, or a word or a phrase that someone who knows you really deeply would use to describe you?

Noah Cyrus 43:53 Sensitive.

Jay Shetty 43:55 Hmm.

Noah Cyrus 43:55 Yeah. Sensitive. In good and bad ways.

Jay Shetty 43:58 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 43:58 I think sensitive can be taken as, like, a bad thing.

Jay Shetty 44:01 Absolutely.

Noah Cyrus 44:01 But it's actually, I'm, I'm a very sensitive person, and I think the person I'm thinking of would be my mom. If you were to [laughs]

Jay Shetty 44:10 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 44:10 I, I think that was my mom telling me that. J- I, I'm very sensitive.

Jay Shetty 44:15 I love though that what you've been doing today, you've done it twice now. It's like you're always looking at how each quality and value can actually be negative, but also positive. Like, you know, it can be healthy too.

Noah Cyrus 44:26 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 44:26 And I think often, like you said, like our initial, "Oh, sensitive, yeah, people are so sensitive," and it's like, well, no, no, no. Being sensitive can actually be one of the healthiest things.

Noah Cyrus 44:33 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 44:33 So I love that.

Noah Cyrus 44:34 It gives you a lot of compassion towards other-

Jay Shetty 44:37 Yes

Noah Cyrus 44:37 ... people as well. It's not like how you said, like, "Oh, you're so sensitive," you know?

Jay Shetty 44:41 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 44:41 Actually, I'll take it the wrong way sometimes too.

Jay Shetty 44:43 So will I. Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 44:44 Yeah. I'll be like, "What do you mean?"

Jay Shetty 44:45 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 44:45 So if I think maybe if she had, my mom had said that on a different day, I probably would've taken it the wrong way. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 44:50 [laughs] All right. Uh, question number three, what's a word or phrase you'd use to describe yourself?

Noah Cyrus 44:56 Sensitive.

Jay Shetty 44:57 [laughs]

Noah Cyrus 44:58 Um, I'm very loving towards other people and other things, and, like, so towards myself, but I mean, so I've... Whenever people... We actually, I have... We talk about this in therapy. I have a hard time talking about my... It's very evident, talking about myself personally. But whenever I do talk about things about myself, I think it's the way that I give to other people. So I'm a extremely loving and giving person.

Jay Shetty 45:26 Thank you for having the courage to compliment-

Noah Cyrus 45:27 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 45:27 ... compliment yourself.

Noah Cyrus 45:28 Yeah, in a way.

Jay Shetty 45:28 I love it.

Noah Cyrus 45:29 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 45:29 No, it's... Yeah. That's great. I love that. That's a great answer. All right. Uh, last two questions. What's a word or phrase you'd use to describe The Hardest Part, the album?

Noah Cyrus 45:38 Honest is such a vague answer. Um, but I mean, it's just extremely honest and open, and it touches on so many parts of my life, um, like I said, and so many different situations. I also use the word personal a lot too, just because literally the first song on my album is called Noah. And so I think in a way, I was nervous at first, like, how are these, how are people going to hear this and make it relate to themselves? But I think honestly, by being so honest is where people will be like, "Oh, I actually do feel that too." Because if you're not, then other people aren't gonna be able to relate to. I think every feeling sometimes, sometimes my thoughts feel like I'm the only person that's ever had this thought in the world, and then I, like, go on Instagram or TikTok and I see people talking about their feelings and they're like, "I feel that feeling too," you know? So probably that I-

Jay Shetty 46:32 Yeah

Noah Cyrus 46:32 ... would say.

Jay Shetty 46:33 Yeah.

Noah Cyrus 46:33 Very a vague word, but-

Jay Shetty 46:35 No, not a vague... It may be a common word, but the description that you just gave of like, yeah, that feeling of connectivity I think is really powerful. Like, I think, I think that's why it is important to talk about how we feel and what we're going through so we realize we're not the only ones, you know? I mean, I, I think a lot of people suffer in silence and, and suffer in a place because they do feel isolated and alone because they, they don't check with someone because they don't feel comfortable to.

Noah Cyrus 47:02 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 47:02 Uh, you know, I, I have a very minor, totally minor surgery tomorrow, and it's like I, I to- I to- very minor, like, totally not, not, not complex or deep or any way. But the reason I'm bringing it up is even something so minor, when I told my friends about it, I found out 25% of my friends had all, male friends, had all had that surgery. And I was like, it's a hernia. And it, and, and I was like, "Why didn't you ever tell me?" Like, right, and that's a really basic example, but it's the same thought process of, like, how when I, when I first heard I had a hernia, I was like, "I'm too young to have that. Why do I have one?" And then when I started talking to my friends, so many of my friends under 30 had one, and I was like, "Oh, why didn't I know about this?" Right? So it's something as simple as that. So I think the honesty, it connected. Uh, and fifth and final question, what's a word or phrase that you're trying to embody?

Noah Cyrus 47:51 Again, extremely cliche because it's a title on my album, um, but I also have it tattooed on my body, is stand still. Um, it's a phrase my dad said since I was really young, and I felt like I forgot to use it for quite a long time. But when you don't know what to do, just stand still. Um, it's okay to take your time and take a moment and reevaluate everything. That has saved me so many times in my life, and a lot recently. Um, and so to practice, for me, it's really hard for me to stay still and stand still and be still, and so to practice that more. I really live by those words, and I really look up to my dad and admire him and his strength so much, so.

Jay Shetty 48:37 That's such a powerful, powerful answer. I love that advice. Stand still.

Noah Cyrus 48:40 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 48:41 Uh, everyone who's been listening and watching, I want you to go stream The Hardest Part right now. It's available as we're speaking. Uh, go and listen to it, go and share it, go and feel with it, go and experience the honesty that Noah's putting out there. I hope it's extremely healing and connecting for you. And also please feel free to share. I think there were so many incredible things that Noah shared today. Please tag us both on Instagram, on Twitter, on TikTok. If you're sharing a reflection from this podcast, please tag us both, because I love seeing how you put into practice what our guests share, and I'm sure Noah would love to see that too. So please, please, please do that. Uh, Noah, I hope this is the first of many times I get to sit down-

Noah Cyrus 49:22 I do too

Jay Shetty 49:23 ... with you this way.

Noah Cyrus 49:23 I really do too.

Jay Shetty 49:24 Um, but you, uh... I just, I want you to know that everything you shared today is gonna stay with me for a long time.

Noah Cyrus 49:30 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 49:30 And, uh, there are so many parts that I know I'm gonna re-listen to and re-watch, and I'm just so grateful to you.

Noah Cyrus 49:36 I'm so glad we got to talk, because I even was having anxiety and had been, I mean, with my grandmother just passing, have been having so many different conflicting feelings and, like, even today Nick was like, "Oh, well, maybe this is just talking with Jay and, you know, talking about your feelings and stuff is really gonna help you," and I was so... This has been amazing. I'm so grateful we got to be in a room together and finally meet. Thank you so much for having me.

Jay Shetty 50:01 No, thank you. I hope you feel you got to share everything you wanted to share.

Noah Cyrus 50:04 No, I, I feel, I feel great.

Jay Shetty 50:06 Okay.

Noah Cyrus 50:06 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 50:06 Good. That makes me happy. Amazing. Thank you so much.

Noah Cyrus 50:09 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 50:10 Thanks, Noah. If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book, Think Like a Monk, from thinklikeamonkbook.com. Check below in the description to make sure you order today.