Jay Shetty PodcastNOAH KAHAN Reveals His Battle with OCD & Anxiety - And What He’s Sharing for the First Time Ever
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 0:34
Cold open: success, shame, and emotional whiplash from feedback
Noah opens with the paradox of being perceived as “living the dream” while privately battling mental health challenges. He describes how external praise or criticism can instantly become his internal identity, and how he’s trying to untangle suffering from artistry.
- •Public success can hide intense private struggles
- •Shame around mental illness is shifting into openness
- •Self-worth swings sharply with others’ opinions
- •Fear that pain is required to make great music
- 0:34 – 3:12
Why the Netflix documentary feels exposing—and unexpectedly therapeutic
Jay introduces Noah and praises the documentary’s rawness, prompting Noah to share why filming felt both scary and healing. He explains the unusual gift of seeing family dynamics “from the outside” and learning to be honest without feeling like he’s giving himself away.
- •Compartmentalizing filming helped Noah be more himself
- •Watching family interactions back created gratitude and perspective
- •He’s hyper-aware of how he’ll be perceived and works to set that aside
- •Goal: help viewers feel connected to their own families and insecurities
- 3:12 – 4:18
The childhood performance that reshaped his confidence (and father-son bond)
Noah recalls learning and performing “Father and Son” with his dad—an early performance that humbled him and became symbolic of aging, perspective, and family. The documentary later becomes only the second time they perform publicly together.
- •First public performance at a senior home was formative
- •Realizing “this is hard” shifted his self-perception early
- •Song’s themes mirrored the setting (youth vs aging)
- •Performing with his dad became a rare, meaningful thread
- 4:18 – 5:34
Middle-child energy: being loud to be heard and restless to start life
Noah describes growing up as one of four, feeling like a “middle child” who tried to dominate attention—often by yelling and being disruptive. He shares how school felt like a delay to his real goal: becoming a musician.
- •Attention-seeking as a strategy to be noticed at home and school
- •Creativity and aspiration were present from early childhood
- •Disinterest in school tied to single-minded musical ambition
- •Underlying anxiety and impatience to begin his ‘real’ life
- 5:34 – 6:56
Music as the only Plan A—and the letter that predicted his record deal
Noah explains he never seriously imagined a life outside music, even as a kid. A sixth-grade letter to his future self set a concrete target—having a record deal by graduation—which he achieved, reinforcing that identity.
- •No alternative career path felt real to him
- •The sixth-grade letter became a motivational pressure cooker
- •Achieving the record deal validated his childhood self
- •He sometimes longs for a less self-centered, ‘service’ oriented life
- 6:56 – 8:09
Fitting in vs being genuine: songwriting as the hidden ‘real me’
Noah describes the split between his socially acceptable persona and his private inner world of sadness and mental health struggles. Songwriting became a protected space where he felt he belonged to himself, like a secret identity he could return to after school.
- •Disconnect between outward performance and inner vulnerability
- •Music as a private refuge and identity anchor
- •Nostalgia for when songs were just for him and a notebook
- •Anxiety and early mental health issues shaped teen writing
- 8:09 – 12:34
When vulnerability becomes a product: marketing sadness and protecting your core
As Noah’s career grew, he began filtering creativity through career outcomes and audience expectations. He explores the tension between authentic vulnerability and performing a version of vulnerability that ‘fits’ a marketable narrative.
- •Creative intention gets distorted by career and branding pressures
- •Inspiration comes from seeing diverse fans feel the music
- •Fear of writing what ‘sounds’ deep vs what’s true
- •Learning to express feelings without “giving himself away”
- 12:34 – 15:16
The ‘simpler life’ myth: presence, imposter syndrome, and the fear it all disappears
Noah shares how he’s often unable to live inside moments because he’s anticipating their end, a mindset reinforced by how long it took to reach major success. He describes rare moments of true presence—like Fenway Park—alongside anxiety, rumination, and even difficulty meditating without self-judgment.
- •“Songwriting is trying to go back to somewhere simpler”
- •Imposter syndrome and fear of losing momentum after success
- •Fenway as a peak moment of true presence
- •Meditation and mindfulness are appealing but hard to sustain
- 15:16 – 25:42
Creative anxiety after a hit: writer’s block, stakes, and letting the process change
Noah explains that fear of never writing something as good again existed even before fame—then intensified after Stick Season. Conversations with other artists helped him accept that the next album can’t be forced into the same process, and that control is the enemy of creative flow.
- •Follow-up pressure can warp creativity and identity
- •Writer’s block predates fame; stakes are psychological as much as external
- •Peer support from other artists normalized burnout and fear
- •Best path: stop chasing perfection and write for the kid who loved music
- 25:42 – 28:23
Does healing kill creativity? OCD, medication fears, and the Joshua Tree breaking point
Noah admits he delayed getting help because he feared medication and healing would dull his edge. After an OCD diagnosis and a miserable ‘find myself’ trip to Joshua Tree, he realized scenery and collaborators couldn’t fix what required real support and treatment.
- •Belief that pain is required for ‘real’ art kept him stuck
- •Medication and diagnosis (anxiety, OCD) triggered fear of dullness
- •Joshua Tree revealed the problem wasn’t location or aesthetics
- •Letting go of control became a turning point for making the record
- 28:23 – 31:30
Family as subject matter: the regret of communicating through songs first
Noah reflects on how writing about family events (divorce, his dad’s brain injury) without direct conversations can blindside loved ones. He’s working to be more intentional—giving family context and agency before stories become public art.
- •Biggest regret: skipping hard talks and ‘speaking’ via released songs
- •Fear of conflict made songwriting feel safer than direct communication
- •Supportive parents still may feel blindsided by public narratives
- •New commitment: communicate first, then create
- 31:30 – 42:40
Watching the documentary together: vulnerability, projection, and family healing
Noah describes the anxiety of seeing the final cut and sharing it with his family, including a surreal first watch while high. Ultimately, viewing it together brought laughter, tears, closeness, and new empathy—especially with his dad—while also revealing how much Noah projected his own fears onto others.
- •First viewing was intensely stressful; family reaction was emotional
- •Shared viewing created a ‘golden week’ of connection and gratitude
- •Documentary enabled conversations Noah couldn’t initiate directly
- •Key lesson: others’ trauma/pain isn’t identical to your interpretation
- 42:40 – 50:44
Success and mental health: daily depression, body dysmorphia, and who ‘gets’ to claim pain
Noah explains success didn’t erase mental health issues—it added new ones while also forcing confrontation. He discusses waking up depressed despite a ‘good life,’ the complexity of body dysmorphia (especially as a man), and the challenge of speaking about pain without minimizing others’ suffering.
- •Touring/industry life can intensify self-focus and insecurity
- •Daily backdrop: feeling disconnected and “why do I feel like shit?”
- •Body dysmorphia is hard to articulate and not strictly about appearance
- •Holding privilege while validating personal struggle is a constant tension
- 50:44 – 55:33
Living by honesty: impact, compassion, and looking directly at ‘the monster’
Noah argues that complete honesty prevents the exhaustion of performance and makes art sustainably authentic. He connects self-awareness to compassion—recognizing darker inner parts without striving to be ‘perfect’—and emphasizes approaching shame directly, often with therapy, to prevent destructive coping cycles.
- •Honesty as the foundation for art and identity stability
- •Compassion grows from acknowledging you contain many emotions
- •Avoided shame grows; approached shame shrinks
- •Maladaptive coping (food behaviors) thrives when feelings stay unspoken
- 55:33 – 59:53
‘Going to therapy’ vs ‘doing therapy’: safety, commitment, and comfort in pain
Noah distinguishes performative or surface-level therapy from fully engaging the process with the right therapist. He shares the most powerful question he’s been asked: whether his pain has become familiar and comforting—making happiness feel scarier than suffering.
- •Therapy requires trust, safety, and the right match
- •Past negative experiences can make reopening difficult
- •Being a ‘mental health advocate’ can create pressure to seem “fixed”
- •Key insight: pain can become an identity you don’t want to leave
- 59:53 – 1:13:15
After the Grammys: projection, redefining success, and finding equilibrium with criticism
Noah recounts feeling uncool and purposeless at a Grammy party, tying his worth to winning—and feeling he’d disappointed everyone when he didn’t. He and Jay unpack a recurring pattern of projecting others’ expectations, then explore a practical approach to feedback: let praise fuel the heart, and filter criticism for useful clarity without absorbing the sting.
- •Award fixation created isolation and perceived failure
- •Projection shows up with family, teams, fans, and public events
- •Re-centering on story, craft, and resilience rebuilt confidence
- •Feedback practice: internalize meaning, filter mud, keep the water
- 1:13:15 – 1:18:18
Light segments: ‘Would You Rather’ and ‘Gut Reaction’ (intrusive thoughts to mac & cheese takes)
The tone shifts to playful games that still reveal Noah’s personality—social awkward fears, performance mishaps, intrusive thoughts, and strong opinions. He shares quirky habits, songwriting oddities, and which friends he’d rely on in absurd scenarios.
- •Social cringe scenarios: waving back vs awkward restaurant replies
- •Stage mistakes feel easier than forgetting lyrics on national TV
- •Intrusive thoughts framed through an OCD lens
- •Hot takes and personal quirks: mac & cheese, candy ‘crunch time,’ writing at JFK
- 1:18:18 – 1:21:03
Final Five: values that changed, presence advice, and the ‘no fireworks videos’ law
In rapid-fire closing questions, Noah shares guiding principles—staying present, not playing it safe, valuing time, and loosening attachment to appearance. He ends with a comedic “law” banning fireworks videos, and both reflect on feeling seen and heard in the conversation.
- •Best advice: “Be where your feet are”
- •Worst advice: “Play it safe”
- •Shifted values: less focus on attractiveness; more focus on time
- •Proposed law: stop posting shaky fireworks videos
