Jay Shetty PodcastNOAH KAHAN Reveals His Battle with OCD & Anxiety - And What He’s Sharing for the First Time Ever
CHAPTERS
- 1:19 – 4:19
Documentary as a mirror: seeing yourself through others’ eyes
Noah and Jay open by discussing Noah’s Netflix documentary and how filming it let Noah compartmentalize fear of perception. Watching it back becomes both heavy and therapeutic—revealing family dynamics, humor, and love through an outside lens.
- •Compartmentalizing the filming process to be more authentic
- •Watching back as an intense but clarifying experience
- •Learning how it feels to be perceived from the outside
- •Balancing vulnerability with fear of audience judgment
- •Hoping viewers feel connection to family, insecurities, and mental health
- 4:19 – 5:34
Middle-child drive: being loud, creative, and desperate to be heard
Noah describes growing up as one of four kids with ‘middle child energy’—creative, distracted, and often acting out to be noticed. School felt like an obstacle because music was always the real destination.
- •Family position shaping attention-seeking behavior
- •Using volume/humor to get heard (class clown energy)
- •Not thriving in school despite feeling capable
- •Restlessness and anxiety to “get out” and pursue music
- •Identity forming early around creative ambition
- 5:34 – 6:57
Music was the only Plan A—and the pressure that comes with it
Noah explains he never seriously considered an alternative to music, even as a kid. A sixth-grade letter to his future self shows how singular the goal was—and how that intensity can later feed self-focus and pressure.
- •No backup plan; music as sole life path
- •Sixth-grade letter: record deal by graduation
- •Achieving the record deal and its emotional impact
- •Recognizing how the industry forces constant self-marketing
- •Imagining a non-music life centered on helping others
- 6:57 – 12:17
Fitting in vs being genuine: songwriting as a secret refuge
As a teenager, Noah tried to fit in socially while hiding sadness and early mental health struggles, creating an internal disconnect. Songwriting became the private place where he felt he belonged to his real self.
- •Maintaining friendships while masking vulnerability
- •The ‘presentation self’ vs private self split
- •Writing as emotional access and self-belonging
- •Missing when music was a private, unmarketed outlet
- •Career awareness changing intention and filtering expression
- 12:17 – 15:17
The ‘grass is greener’ mindset and the search for a simpler life
Noah reflects on always looking backward, fearing moments will disappear before he can live them. He shares how he finally felt present at Fenway Park, highlighting the tension between gratitude and anxiety.
- •Songwriting as longing for simplicity (Tom Douglas insight)
- •Hyper-awareness that blocks being present
- •Imposter syndrome and fear of success fading
- •Fenway as a rare moment of full presence
- •Meditation as helpful but difficult; overthinking even the practice
- 15:17 – 17:31
Creative insecurity after big success: learning a new process
Noah describes the fear of following up “Stick Season,” noting he’s felt ‘I’ll never write that good again’ since childhood. Advice from other artists helped him accept that the next album can’t be forced or replicated.
- •Lifelong pattern: panic after writing something good
- •Post-success stakes and burnout intensifying writer’s block
- •Seeking guidance from peers and finding shared struggle
- •Letting go of perfection and control over the follow-up
- •Returning to ‘make music for the kid with the guitar’
- 17:31 – 25:56
When your work becomes your identity: creativity and self-worth collide
Noah articulates how creative work can become inseparable from self-worth—struggling artistically feels like struggling as a person. Jay mirrors this with his own overthinking about writing a new book, reinforcing that authenticity beats formulas.
- •Creative output as self-definition (and loneliness when blocked)
- •Fear of admitting struggle to admired peers
- •Writer’s block fueled by anxiety and self-fulfilling prophecy
- •The trap of reverse-engineering past success
- •Using lived struggle as the most compelling creative material
- 25:56 – 28:24
Does healing kill creativity? Medication, OCD, and the Joshua Tree turning point
Noah shares he feared therapy and medication would dull his creativity, especially amid anxiety and a more recent OCD diagnosis. A miserable Joshua Tree trip made clear that place, studios, or collaborators wouldn’t solve the deeper issue—he needed real help.
- •Belief that pain is required for good art
- •High school anxiety medication fears; later OCD diagnosis
- •Choosing functioning and life over ‘painful authenticity’
- •Still feeling sadness, but in a manageable way
- •Joshua Tree as the moment he stopped hoping ‘life fixes it’
- 28:24 – 35:25
Family stories in public: regret, boundaries, and ‘dirty laundry’ ethics
Noah talks about writing songs about family pain without first communicating directly—something he now regrets. The documentary raised similar concerns, prompting more intentional conversations about consent, comfort, and the ‘greater good’ of sharing.
- •Regret: expressing feelings through songs before talking to family
- •Fear of conflict leading to indirect communication
- •Setting boundaries for the next album and documentary
- •Anxiety about exploiting family experiences
- •Sister’s framing: discomfort can still help others going through similar issues
- 35:25 – 42:50
Watching the documentary together: shame, projection, and family healing
Viewing the final cut was terrifying, emotional, and unexpectedly connective for the whole family. Noah realizes many fears were projections of his own shame, and the film created conversations—and closeness—he couldn’t initiate alone.
- •Stress of the first watch (including watching alone first)
- •Family reactions: emotional, challenging, but ultimately grateful
- •‘Golden week’ of connection after viewing together
- •Using the film as a vehicle to say what felt unsayable
- •Key insight: others’ experiences of pain aren’t the same as your projection
- 42:50 – 50:44
Success and mental health: self-image, daily heaviness, and body dysmorphia
Noah explains success didn’t remove mental health challenges—it changed how they show up and forced confrontation. He describes daily disconnection and depression-like feelings, and discusses the complexity of body dysmorphia and how hard it is to articulate, especially as a man.
- •Success introduces new stressors but also forces deeper facing of issues
- •Daily ‘backdrop’ of feeling bad despite good circumstances
- •Self-image spanning physical and mental identity
- •Body dysmorphia as persistent, hard-to-name, not purely about appearance
- •Men opening up after hearing his song as proof of hidden, shared struggle
- 50:44 – 58:22
Living and dying by honesty: impact, compassion, and a divided world
Noah argues that being radically honest prevents a life of performance and makes connection possible across backgrounds. He wrestles with privilege and the fear of being insensitive, while still validating that pain exists everywhere and vulnerability can unite people.
- •Honesty as the antidote to ‘performing’ a persona
- •Connection across class, race, gender, and upbringing through shared feelings
- •Tension between acknowledging privilege and not discrediting one’s pain
- •Creativity as finding emotion within yourself (even in acting)
- •Approaching shame instead of sprinting past it—‘the monster under the bed’
- 58:22
Therapy that changes you: doing the work, finding the right therapist, and comfort in pain
Noah distinguishes between attending therapy and actually doing therapy—showing up honestly, going deeper than headlines, and rebuilding trust after bad experiences. A pivotal therapist question challenges whether pain has become familiar comfort, shaping identity and safety.
- •Therapy vs ‘doing therapy’: honesty, depth, and commitment
- •The importance of therapist fit and healing after bad experiences
- •Struggle of being a mental health advocate without having answers
- •Patterns of coping (food behaviors) when feelings aren’t expressed
- •Therapist’s question: do you secretly find safety in your unhappiness?
A childhood performance that shaped humility and ambition
Noah recalls performing “Father and Son” with his dad at a senior home—his first public performance and an early realization that being “good” takes work. The song’s themes of aging and perspective resonate even more in that setting.
- •Learning guitar and singing through his dad
- •First performance at a senior citizen home in Hanover
- •Early lesson: talent isn’t effortless
- •The irony and meaning of performing an aging-themed song there
- •A rare father-son performance repeated years later in the documentary
Criticism, validation, and finding equilibrium (plus closing games)
Noah shares how external feedback swings his self-worth—praise makes him ‘good,’ criticism makes him ‘bad.’ Jay offers a model: let praise fuel the heart (purpose) and filter criticism for useful water, not painful mud; the episode ends with playful rapid-fire segments and final reflections on values and time.
- •Projection patterns: imagining everyone’s expectations (Grammys, family, team)
- •Describing the ‘equilibrium’ goal between highs and lows
- •Receiving good feedback as purpose, not ego dopamine
- •Filtering criticism to extract improvement without internalizing sting
- •Light segments: Would You Rather, Gut Reaction, Final Five (values: time; advice: ‘be where your feet are’)
