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Jay Shetty Podcast

The Confidence Experts: 7 Proven Ways To Build Confidence & Self-Worth

In this compilation episode Jay explores the secrets to building unshakeable inner confidence with insights from Kendall Jenner, Vanessa Hudgens, Claudia Oshry, Alicia Keys, Lisa Bilyeu, Meghan Trainor, and Kobe Bryant.

Jay ShettyhostKendall JennercameoLisa BilyeucameoMeghan TrainorcameoMeghan TrainorcameoKobe Bryantcameo

Apr 9, 202542mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Why confidence and self-worth shape every decision
Jay Shetty frames the episode around how confidence and self-worth influence daily choices and how many people question whether they’re “good enough.” He sets up the core premise that confidence is built (not innate) and that self-worth goes deeper than achievements.
- •Confidence and self-worth affect everyday decisions
- •Self-doubt can start in childhood or build through life challenges
- •Confidence is described as something you build over time
- •Self-worth is positioned as how you see yourself at your core
- •The episode promises insights to quiet self-doubt and recognize value
Kendall Jenner on tuning out trends and choosing what truly works for you
Kendall Jenner describes feeling overwhelmed by everyone recommending meditation, therapy, and different wellness tools. She emphasizes that it’s personal, and that taking time off and re-centering through simple joys helped her feel more grounded.
- •Feeling overwhelmed by wellness suggestions and “what will suit me”
- •Seeing wellness as a personal experience with different versions for everyone
- •Taking time to be off and make space for small, normal life moments
- •Reclaiming time for things that genuinely make her happy
- •Jay highlights the importance of giving yourself space when you need it
Protecting happiness from social media pressure: the “higher self” practice
Kendall explains how social media and her industry can pull you into things that don’t serve you, especially when happiness depends on other people’s actions. She describes a therapist-guided concept of living from her “higher goddess” and using affirmations to stay anchored in who she is.
- •If happiness depends on others, you’re at the mercy of what you can’t control
- •Working with a therapist on the idea of a “higher goddess/higher self”
- •Using mirror talk and words of affirmation to reinforce identity
- •Dealing with false narratives and returning to “I know who I am”
- •Valuing the perspective of people (and even pets/animals) who truly know you
Jay’s “leaf on the path” exercise: people are multifaceted, not one-dimensional
Jay shares an exercise where assumptions about a leaf or flower are often wrong once you pick it up—used as a metaphor for how complex humans are. He argues it’s easy to form a singular opinion of someone from limited exposure, and he introduces a quote about living inside perceived perceptions.
- •Assumptions change when you look closer—used to illustrate human complexity
- •Limited exposure (social media, events, one interview) creates a narrow view
- •No one wants to be seen as only one thing for their whole life
- •Jay quotes: “I am what I think you think I am,” describing perceived validation loops
- •The conversation connects back to internal grounding versus external perception
Vanessa Hudgens on losing her sense of self and taking a scary solo leap
Vanessa describes returning from emotionally heavy film roles and feeling like she didn’t know who she was anymore. She chose a solo yoga retreat because it scared her, framing fear-facing as a path to evolution and reconnection with herself.
- •Feeling disconnected from identity after intense, emotionally demanding work
- •Physical and lifestyle changes made her feel unlike herself
- •Choosing a solo yoga retreat specifically because it felt scary
- •Belief that doing scary things forces growth and evolution
- •Using travel as a structured way to reset and rediscover self
Building presence and confidence through talking to strangers
Vanessa shares how being alone while filming led her to dine solo and find small ways to connect, like sitting at the bar and talking to the bartender. She and Jay reflect on how engaging with unfamiliar people forces presence and reactivates a mindset many lose as they get older.
- •Learning to be comfortable doing things alone, including eating out solo
- •Seeking small human connections in unfamiliar environments
- •Jay notes you use a different kind of energy when you “make something out of nothing” socially
- •Vanessa describes playfulness—locking eyes, trying to make people laugh
- •Talking to people you don’t know can force real presence and listening
Claudia Oshry on love, self-image, and navigating body change during pregnancy
Claudia discusses how much of her confidence came from being loved unequivocally by her partner, while also acknowledging the complexity of that. She talks about her health and activity changes, then shares the emotional challenge of body changes after significant weight loss and then becoming pregnant.
- •Confidence boosted through feeling deeply loved by a partner
- •Jay distinguishes aesthetics from health; Claudia explains her case felt tied to health
- •Shifting daily routine to include “pockets of activity” and movement
- •Making small food adjustments while owning being a picky eater
- •Describing pregnancy as mourning body changes more than mourning a past lifestyle
Alicia Keys on anxiety, stress showing up in skin, and the idea of “soul care”
Alicia describes years of skin struggles and how stress in the music world intensified her anxiety and physical reactions. She explains learning to identify what brings peace, set boundaries, and develop rituals—meditation, journaling, affirmations—into what she calls a philosophy of “soul care.”
- •Long-term skin issues created self-consciousness and anxiety
- •Recognizing her body physically reacts to stress and pressure
- •Identifying patterns: relationships and commitments that left no space to rest or reflect
- •Building self-trust through practices like meditation, journaling, and intuition checks
- •Describing “soul care” as connecting inner life with daily rituals and affirmations
Lisa Bilyeu’s model: confidence comes after action, competence, and consistent practice
Lisa argues many people mistakenly wait for confidence before starting, when confidence is actually the byproduct of action and practice. She describes confidence like a muscle and explains how building competence in specific areas leads to real, earned confidence over time.
- •Calling out the misconception: waiting for confidence delays action
- •Framing confidence as a byproduct of taking action and building competence
- •Comparing confidence to a muscle that strengthens with repetition and weakens without it
- •Explaining confidence is domain-specific, not universal across every situation
- •Encouraging focus on starting, practicing, and improving rather than seeking a “gene” for confidence
Internal validation vs. external approval: breaking the fear of judgment and bullying
Lisa shares how being a stay-at-home wife (which she clarifies isn’t wrong) left her feeling incapable and trapped by negative self-talk. She explains how seeking outside validation can keep you stuck, and how choosing to validate yourself became her “North Star.”
- •Describing insecurity and negative inner voice that blocked change
- •Letting go of the need to be instantly good at something and embracing the process
- •Fear of being bullied (rooted in childhood experiences) as a barrier to trying
- •Noticing external validation can reinforce a life you don’t actually want
- •Shifting to self-validation as a daily practice rather than chasing approval
Meghan Trainor on creating from a raw place—and how chasing validation backfires
Meghan recounts writing “All About That Bass” as a personal, almost joke-like “therapy song,” not a strategic attempt to win charts. After unexpected success, she noticed herself chasing “radio” and recalibrated by returning to making music that felt like “just do me,” alongside describing honest themes in newer work.
- •Writing a song from shared experiences of learning self-love, without chart goals
- •Surprise at massive success and confusion about what “number one” meant
- •Recognizing a shift into chasing outcomes and falling flat
- •Deciding to return to a mindset of creating without obsessing over charts
- •Sharing a newer song concept about curated positivity versus real emotions and crying privately
Kobe Bryant on resilience, long-term growth, and confidence built through consistency
Kobe explains that trial and error teaches you not to over-identify with wins or losses, because life cycles through good and bad days. He emphasizes focusing on the journey of figuring things out, thinking long-term when you can’t compete yet, and committing to years of consistent improvement.
- •Learning through making and missing big shots, and accepting the cycle of days
- •Prioritizing evolution, curiosity, and “figuring out” over results
- •Critiquing coaching for short-term results instead of long-term development
- •Sharing how growing up abroad, being alone, and being less athletic pushed long-term thinking
- •Highlighting consistency over years as the path to getting better
Closing message: stop comparing, trust yourself to figure it out
Jay closes by reframing confidence as not needing to be the best or having all the answers, but not needing comparison and trusting yourself through the process. He encourages sharing the episode and points listeners to another conversation on befriending the inner critic, followed by a final reflection about facing fears building strength.
- •Confidence framed as freedom from comparison rather than superiority
- •Self-worth tied to knowing who you are beyond accomplishments
- •Emphasis on quiet moments and self-talk when no one’s around
- •Jay encourages sharing the episode with someone who needs it
- •A final statement reinforces that facing fears reveals capability and builds strength and wisdom

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