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Jay Shetty PodcastTOM HOLLAND: "I Was Addicted to a FAKE Life — No One Knew What I Was Hiding Until It BROKE ME"
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EVERY SPOKEN WORD
135 min read · 27,200 words- 0:00 – 0:46
Intro
- SPSpeaker
I just felt like I was so addicted to this kind of false version of my life, that it was just taking over. And the thing that really upset me is the press ran with that. They were saying, "Oh, look, he's not the perfect, happy-go-lucky kid you think he is. He's having a nervous breakdown in New York." If I was having a mental breakdown, that's not for you to report on. They took the story in the wrong direction, and they kind of painted people looking for help in the wrong light. The best-selling author and host.
- JSJay Shetty
The number one health and wellness podcast.
- JSJay Shetty
On Purpose with Jay Shetty.
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
A lot of studies show that how we were loved or unloved between the ages of zero to five impact the next 15, 25, 50 years of our life-
- SPSpeaker
Wow
- JSJay Shetty
... and how we give love to ourselves and how we give love to others. And
- 0:46 – 9:32
The Gift Of Supportive Parents
- JSJay Shetty
so I was thinking, do you have a core memory or an experience with your family from childhood that kind of embodies the feeling you have about them now or that keeps you tied close to them?
- SPSpeaker
I'd say sort of more than a memory is just a feeling that we, I can say all of my brothers and I had, was that because our dad's a comedian, his job only ever existed once we had gone to bed. And our mum worked from home; she was a photographer. So to us, as kids, our parents didn't really work. They just were always home. So we had this amazing foundation where no matter any time of the day, either Mum or Dad would be at the house, and we felt so kinda solid as a family. Which is why, like, I kind of have this dream of one day having kids and putting my work to bed and just kind of being there as a dad. 'Cause I really admire how my dad was around. You know, being a comedian is a very, very volatile job. The, the highs and lows are so extreme, and as kids, we never saw that. The only version of my dad I ever saw was the happy dad, let's go to the park. We used to play this game called golf goals, where we would go down to the park. There's, like, this big, blue metal goal, and we would just fire golf balls into that goal every day.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
And he would give us 10p every time a ball went in the goal, and that was kind of the foundation of our golf and, and all that sort of stuff. So for me, broader than a core memory was the idea of always feeling connected and safe within my family unit, and I think a large portion of that is that my mum and dad have always been such a solid team, and they've always been there for us.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Wow. Have they... As you've grown older, have they kind of opened up about some of the challenges that they were going through that they obviously didn't show you and your family when you were kids? Because I can imagine, we always talk about this, right? Like, being a comedian's extremely difficult because you're making everyone else laugh. At the same time, it's, it's a career path that, like you said, is completely volatile.
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
Have, have they opened up as time's gone on, and how has that felt when you've gone from, like, seeing your parents always being happy to being like, "Oh, wait, there was all this other stuff going on"?
- SPSpeaker
Absolutely they have, and, and it's not even sometimes things that they've told us. It's just things that we've grown up to recognize. As a young kid, you know, you're not looking to, how's my mum feeling? How's my dad feeling? And now, as an, as an older person, you know, those are things I care about. I wanna call my mum 'cause I know it will brighten her day, so that's all part of growing up, I guess. So seeing the way in which my dad's job affects him or my dad's job affects my mum is something we've all sort of come to terms with, and he's amazing at it. I mean, to be honest, I say affect. It doesn't really affect anyone. He's so good at handling it, um, which is a lot of why I feel like I am the way I am. For example, The Crowded Room's come out. The critics absolutely hated it. They thought it was the worst thing they've ever seen, and it doesn't really upset me. And I think a large part of my feeling towards that has come from my dad being able to do a gig, the gig not going well, him brushing it off his shoulder, and just right onto the next one.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Wow, and, and first of all, I wanna point out as well, so I've been watching The Crowded Room.
- SPSpeaker
Right. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
And me and my wife have been watching it together, and we're actually really enjoying it.
- SPSpeaker
Good. Thank you. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
And so, like, we're actually loving it because I love a show that has mystery-
- SPSpeaker
Sure
- JSJay Shetty
... that's trying to, like, get me to figure it out-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... and get me to think about it, and I'm kinda confused. And I love stuff like that.
- SPSpeaker
Totally.
- JSJay Shetty
Like, I'm a massive, uh, Christopher Nolan fan.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. Absolutely.
- JSJay Shetty
So all my favorite movies are Nolan movies, and the reason why I love them is 'cause I have no idea what's going on.
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
And that's what keeps-
- SPSpeaker
And you gotta figure it out
- JSJay Shetty
... and you gotta figure it out.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And I love puzzles, and I love escape rooms, and I love anything that-
- SPSpeaker
I love an escape room
- JSJay Shetty
... yeah, I love anything that's got me thinking, h- what is going on here, and why can't I figure it out?
- SPSpeaker
Mate, do you know what you should watch? I, I admittedly watch it to go to sleep if I'm ever feeling stressed or, like, overstimulated.
- 9:32 – 14:24
Tom Holland Addresses The “Nervous Breakdown” Rumors
- SPSpeaker
do.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. And was there ever a piece of feedback or a rumor or something you saw that did affect you, where you actually thought, where, or at least made you stop and go, "God, I'm trying to see the positives, but this one's tough. Like, like this actually made me have to pause and figure it out"?
- SPSpeaker
Something that did really upset me, I was in New York. I was shooting The Crowning, Crowded Room, and I was having a really hard time with the job just because of how taxing it was, the emotional capacity that I was having to get to every day. And I decided to delete my Instagram because I just felt like I was so addicted to this kind of false version of my life that it was just taking over. I would be on set working. I'd come and sit in my chair and just scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, and it was, it was becoming a problem. I was just obsessed with it and I was obsessed to find out what people were saying and how people, what they thought about me. So I decided to make an announcement, which unfortunately we have to do, and say that I'm taking a break from social media. And I, and I tried to position myself and say, like, "I'm taking a break from social media because I feel like my mental health will benefit from it." And the thing that really upset me is the press ran with that, and they tried to make out that I was having this mental breakdown. And what upset me was, if I was having a mental breakdown, that's not for you to report on. They, they, they took the story in the wrong direction and they tried, they painted, again, this negative light on mental health. Rather than saying, "Oh, he's doing it. It's okay that he's doing it, so we should all feel okay to do it too," they were saying, "Oh look, he's not the perfect, happy-go-lucky kid you think he is. He's having a nervous breakdown in New York." And I think that that was a really unfair line of journalism, let's say, because I just think it, again, kind of painted people looking for help in the wrong light, if you know what I mean.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. It almost sounds like you were actually preemptively going, "I'm doing this so that I don't-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... go in that direction."
- SPSpeaker
Totally.
- JSJay Shetty
At s- at least, I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but it's like-
- SPSpeaker
Absolutely
- JSJay Shetty
... it's almost like I'm proactively seeing that I could end up in a position where-
- SPSpeaker
Sure
- JSJay Shetty
... I might have a breakdown. I don't wanna be in that position, and so I'm responsibly saying, "Guys, I'm taking a break"-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... "in order to protect myself."
- SPSpeaker
100%.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, which makes a lot of sense and actually is quite admirable again.
- SPSpeaker
Totally, and that's kinda what the message of the show is about. Like, the, the message of our show is that asking for help should be something that we celebrate.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
If you're struggling, if you need help, if you feel bad and you wake up and, and you go to a friend, a therapist, a teacher, an employee or a colleague and say, "I'm really struggling. I need some help," that should be something that we give you a pat on the back. Like, "I would love to help you. That, I'm, I'm delighted that you asked me." And that, for me, that announcement was kind of- ... my olive branch, and the press ran with it how they ran with it. But to be fair, it kind of gave me a great drive to finish The Crowded Room in the way that we did to like, if you're not gonna listen to my personal message, then you have to listen to the message of my show.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
So it kind of went hand-in-hand.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You've, you've reminded me actually when, when you said that because I think we naturally today think of therapists or, or doctors, but you, you mentioned teacher there, and I was thinking when I was going through a really rough time at school once, I remember my walk to school from the bus stop, I'd see a teacher every day that I was really close with at school, but you never talk to your teachers-
- SPSpeaker
No
- JSJay Shetty
... walking to school, right?
- SPSpeaker
Not a crazy person [laughs] .
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah [laughs] . And, but I was so lonely at the time that I remember, like, almost thinking like, "Well, he's the only person I can talk to," because of other stuff that I was going through at school. And I remember I started talking to him on the way to school. He, his name's Mr. Buckeridge. He knows. I go on about him everywhere, and he avoids it-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... because everyone's always like, "Oh, Jay's been talking about you."
- 14:24 – 16:05
On Being Diagnosed With Dyslexia
- JSJay Shetty
you were diagnosed, as far as I read, with dyslexia age seven.
- SPSpeaker
Yes.
- JSJay Shetty
And I was wondering how... You know, a lot of our community and our audience is diagnosed as well, or some of them are not, but they're finding out later on in life. How did that affect you? Or how were you set up for success with that from d- Because as an actor, you've gotta learn lines, you've gotta read lines. You... There's a lot of activities that people would assume are quite challenging.
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
But you found a way and, and walk us through that a little bit.
- SPSpeaker
I don't know. I had... My mom has always been really hands-on with our education.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
She, you know, really wanted us to just do our best. Our dad always said like, "Look, I don't care what grades you get. As long as you try your best, you try your best, and that's all that we can ask for."
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
But yeah, my dyslexia, it's really just my spelling.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I mean, honestly.
- JSJay Shetty
It's just that, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
You know, like, I... Those sort of games that you play at Christmas, have you ever played, um, the one we have to write down-
- JSJay Shetty
Oh my-
- SPSpeaker
... the answers? The, it's-
- JSJay Shetty
Oh, uh-
- SPSpeaker
It's such a good game
- JSJay Shetty
... is it Balderdash? I don't know Balderdash. Is it, uh-
- SPSpeaker
It's basically a game where someone will read out a scenario or, um-
- JSJay Shetty
Right
- SPSpeaker
... ask a question, and then you have to answer the question to the best of your ability. But you can also bluff and lie.
- JSJay Shetty
Oh, I've never played this game. Okay.
- SPSpeaker
And if you write somewhat a believing answer and people vote for your answer, you win.
- JSJay Shetty
Oh, cool. Okay, I've never played it.
- SPSpeaker
Which is great.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
But when I play it, everyone's like-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... "What does that say? That is definitely not spelt right."
- 16:05 – 20:02
How Did Tom Holland Get Into Acting?
- JSJay Shetty
there's that famous viral TikTok that always goes around of you, you know, I can't... I don't know how old you were, being asked, you know, "What superhero would you play-
- SPSpeaker
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... when you're older?" And you say, "Oh, maybe Spiderman," right?
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
And it's like... And, and I wonder, like, how much of your acting career do you feel like you've manifested or there was a vision or a focus, or is it more just like this was naturally what you were into and it, and it grew?
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
Where, where did that come from?
- SPSpeaker
I do believe in manifesting, actually. I really do. I think what's interesting about my career is this was never something I wanted. I just was a young kid. I loved dancing. My mom would take me to a dance class every Saturday, and I got spotted through that dance class to, to audition for a show on the West End. I ended up doing the show.
- JSJay Shetty
Billy Elliot.
- SPSpeaker
I loved it. Billy Elliot. It was the time of my life.
- JSJay Shetty
Loved that show.
- SPSpeaker
I, you know, it was such a cool experience. I'm... Just by complete fluke, an agent came to see the show the night that I was on. She signed me. She sent me to an audition for a film. I was lucky enough to get the part. All of a sudden, I was on set with Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts, and we made The Impossible. And to be perfectly honest with you, it was, it was just a hobby. It was something that my mom would let me do on the summer holidays. She was very keen that I kept my schooling up. And there sort of came that time in England where you're in between GCSEs and A-levels, and you're trying to figure out... My, when I was going through that, you could still drop out at A-levels. Obviously, now you have to do A-levels. And I had that moment where I was like, "What do I wanna do? I could try and stay at school and figure out what I wanna do, or this thing that's been a hobby, been my sort of summer holiday activity, which is acting, I could try and do that for a living." And I've been so lucky that I've been, you know, offered jobs and all that sort of stuff. I decided to go with it. I, I, I joined the BRIT School because, you know, my mom was keen that I didn't go for school for an education but went to school to expand my social skills and meet kids my own age. All my friends when I was 15 were, like, 30-year-old people 'cause they're all adults from the business [laughs] .
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Um, so I think my mom was keen that I had some friends that are my age, who are now my best friends today. So I never really wanted this. I just sort of never stopped doing it, and I love it. I absolutely love it. I love the creativity. I love the building blocks that are required to put a film together. I love the collaboration on set between people from all different walks of life. You know, a film set is a melting pot of all sorts of different people. Um- So I love it. I absolutely love it.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Wow. And, and I, I read somewhere that you said you were bullied for, like, doing ballet.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, right.
- JSJay Shetty
Ballet, which obviously got you into the, playing the role of Billy Elliot 'cause it's ballet and tap, right?
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
It's both. So was, was that, was that tough at the time, or, like, were you trying to hide it and then you end up on, [laughs] you know, you end up at the West End and you're on the main stage and everyone's seeing it? Or was it kind of easy to navigate, and how did that go down? Because I feel like as a kid, doing ballet and tap must have been a little challenging.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, I mean, it was, it wasn't easy, but it also wasn't tough.
- JSJay Shetty
Right.
- SPSpeaker
You know? I went to a rugby school, so you can imagine, like, the one kid in the school that does ballet, there's gonna be comments here and there. It wasn't the easiest thing in the world. There were kids that didn't understand why I was doing it or what I was doing it for, no matter how many times I explained, like, I'm the only guy in a class of 30 girls in tights. I was like, "Guys, this is what you wanna be doing. Like, rugby is not it."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
But I... No, it was tough. But again, like, it goes back to what we were saying about-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... resilience and-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... and keeping your head down and... Crowded Room was the hardest job I've ever had for all sorts of different reasons, and there was a point in time where we were talking about do we shut this down and walk away from it, 'cause of how challenging it was. And, you know, I dug my heels in, I put my head down, and was like, "No, I'm gonna finish this. I'm gonna see it through." And I think, you know, you learn from past experiences like that, so I really am proud of the way we- everyone handled The Crowded Room, and I think that stems from my childhood, my dad's experiences, and all that sort of stuff.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Well, so I've got
- 20:02 – 30:46
Tom Holland’s Love Of Sports
- JSJay Shetty
a confession as well to make.
- SPSpeaker
Go on.
- JSJay Shetty
So I went to rugby school as well.
- SPSpeaker
Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
And I-
- SPSpeaker
Did you play?
- JSJay Shetty
I, I played, yeah, I played for my A team, and I was, I was pretty good.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, you were in the A team.
- JSJay Shetty
I was pretty good. I was pretty good.
- SPSpeaker
Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
Because I-
- SPSpeaker
What position did you play?
- JSJay Shetty
Blindside flanker.
- SPSpeaker
Okay. Wow.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, so I was, I was really into rugby. 'Cause I went to rugby school, and I loved football, but my school-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... didn't play football, and so I was like, "No, I've gotta be on the school's main team for everyone."
- SPSpeaker
Sure, sure, sure.
- JSJay Shetty
So I worked really hard to get on the team. But after we'd play rugby on a Saturday, my mom forced me to go to dance class, and part of it was ballet and tap as well.
- SPSpeaker
Really?
- JSJay Shetty
Although I did not end up at the West End and play Billy Elliot-
- SPSpeaker
Right, right, right
- JSJay Shetty
... 'cause I don't think Billy Elliot was Brown, so-
- SPSpeaker
Wow
- JSJay Shetty
... that, that wasn't gonna happen.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
So it wasn't the same path as you.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, mate.
- JSJay Shetty
But, but I also had that experience. [laughs] That's why I had to ask you about it.
- SPSpeaker
Did you enjoy it?
- 30:46 – 40:41
Recognizing Alcohol Addiction
- JSJay Shetty
One of the things that you mentioned recently was that you gave up drinking about a year and a half ago.
- SPSpeaker
Yes.
- JSJay Shetty
And you said it was the hardest thing you ever did.
- SPSpeaker
Yes.
- JSJay Shetty
And I wanted to know, what was so hard about it for you? Why was it so hard?
- SPSpeaker
It's interesting. I, I, I didn't one day wake up and say, "I'm giving up drinking." I just Like many Brits, had had a very, very boozy December. Christmas time, I was on vacation, I was drinking a lot, and I've always been able to drink a lot. I think I get my genes from my mom's side in that thing, like I can, I can drink. And I decided to just give up for January. I just wanted to do dry January, and all I could think about was having a drink. It's all I could think about. I, I was waking up thinking about it. I was checking the clock, when's it 12? And it just really scared me. I just was like, "Wow, maybe, maybe I have a little bit of an alcohol thing." So I sort of decided to punish myself and say I'll do February as well. I'll do two months off. If I can do two months off, then I can prove to myself that I don't have a problem. Two months go by, and I was still really struggling. I felt like I couldn't be social. I felt like I couldn't go to the pub and have a lime soda. I couldn't go out for dinner. I was really, really struggling, and I started to really worry that maybe I had an alcohol problem. Um, so I decided that I would wait until my birthday, which is June 1st. I said to myself, "If I can do six months without alcohol, then I can prove to myself that I don't have a problem." And by the time I had got to June 1st, I was the happiest I have ever been in my life. I could sleep better. I could handle problems better. Things that would go wrong on set that would normally set me off, I could take in my stride. I had so much, such better mental clarity. I felt healthier. I felt fitter. And I just sort of said to myself like, "Why, why am I enslaved to this drink? Why am I so obsessed by the idea of having this drink?" And I would look back and recognize that I would go to events for, for work and be like, "I can't enjoy myself until I've had a few beers." And I just felt so much pressure, and this is one of the things why I've sort of distanced myself from the rugby community. 'Cause so much of it is about how much can you drink? Let's get you as drunk as possible. And it's honestly been the best thing I've ever done. I'm a year and a half into it now. It doesn't even cross my mind. I've found amazing replacements that I think are fantastic. Ones that are also really healthy. I found this one beer that's full of electrolytes, and it's, you know, the carbohydrates in it are long-lasting energy.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
So like having a beer is now actually like a really healthy thing. I'm really lucky that all my friends are super supportive about it. I've never run into that scenario where my friends are like, "Oh, go on, just have a beer. Like, you're fine." They've always sort of really supported me, and I don't wanna be that person that's saying to people, "You should get sober. You should get sober." If I could encourage someone to drink less, then that's great, but I, I don't wanna start getting into the world of-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... you need to stop drinking. Because I just, it's, it's not for me to say. I went on my own little journey. I'm really enjoying it. I'm delighted that my mom's almo- has also given up. She's loving it, and it's been amazing.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I can't believe the difference that I feel from not drinking.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I feel amazing.
- JSJay Shetty
That's amazing, man. I love hearing that.
- SPSpeaker
Thank you.
- JSJay Shetty
And, and I love hearing that it's been great for you, right?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
I think that's, that's the point. Not everything has to be like, "Look what I did. You can do it, too."
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
It's kind of like, "No, this is just what's been great for me." Do you think it was partly that attitude, for you at least, in the beginning, where it's like, "Well, look, I can drink. I drink a lot. It comes from my mom genes, and it doesn't affect me"? And then all of a sudden you realize, well, wait a minute, it's more than that. Because I think there is that. Like, I was like that as a young man as well. Like, for me, it was, it was easy to drink. I, I-
- SPSpeaker
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... didn't drink daily. For me, I drank a lot more socially.
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
And I loved playing drinking games with my mates.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, absolutely.
- JSJay Shetty
That, that was really what I enjoyed the most probably. And for me, when I quit, I could just quickly see how it just got me into doing things I would never do if I wasn't drunk.
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
So for me it was, for me it was more that. But yeah, I wonder for you, did you find that it's, there's a really fine line between like, oh, I know I can drink a lot, and then all of a sudden you're kind of addict- not addicted beyond that-
- SPSpeaker
No, addicted, mate
- 40:41 – 45:25
How Sobriety Impacts Your Life & Career
- JSJay Shetty
remember. There was this blog that came out years ago. I can't even remember it now. And there was this girl on Instagram who was getting a lot of likes and a lot of comments and a lot of attention, and one day she just disappeared. Like, she stopped posting. And everyone's just like, all the comments were like, "Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?" Like, "What happened to you?" Uh, you know, everyone was frantic trying to figure out what happened to her because they loved her, they were following her, and all the rest of it. And what they didn't know is that it was built by a team that was trying to show that what people didn't notice is that in every picture she posted, she was drinking. And it was a made up... It was almost like original AI-
- SPSpeaker
Wow
- JSJay Shetty
... that was made up to prove the point that you can love someone, and you can think you're really close to them, and you, you can think their lifestyle looks amazing, but actually they've got a drink in every picture they post. And you didn't realize they had an alcohol problem. So there was no real person who died, but the point was that this, your friends could be struggling even when they're posting these beautiful lifestyle pictures, but are you aware?
- SPSpeaker
Wow.
- JSJay Shetty
And are you conscious of how much it affects you? And I can't, can't remember who built that page.
- SPSpeaker
Well, that, that... I think that's one of the problems with alcohol, is that if you came out with alcohol right now, if alcohol wasn't a thing, and you like, "I've invented this drink that is gonna make you, like, either really happy or really aggressive or really stupid, and we're gonna just sell it to the masses," people would be like-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... "Nah, mate, keep your funky juice."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Like, "We don't want that. That sounds terrible."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And it's one of those things, 'cause it is so socially acceptable, the, the addiction side of it, the bad sides of it really do fly under the radar.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And that's really interesting. I'll tell you something I do love about being a non-drinker. I love being the designated driver.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I love being that person that makes sure that everyone gets home. I don't know. I just-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... I like being a dependable person. I, I think I'm quite dependable.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And I really like that, that, um, thing. And I saw this crazy YouTube video once, this was years ago, of a guy that went to a bar, he got drunk, and he drove home, and he crashed his car. And I don't know if this is real. It could've been fake, but it's really impactful. Basically, what his friend had done was set up the room as if he had been in a coma for like 10 years, and his friend wakes up hours after the crash, and his friend is there, and he had all, like, old makeup on to make him look older. And now I'm thinking about it, there's no way this could've been real-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... because how would they have been able to pull that off? But he basically is saying to him, like, "You've been asleep for 10 years. Everyone's missed you. Like, we can't believe you're awake. This is amazing." And it shows, like, how a stupid decision like driving drunk can affect-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... the future of your life.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
So I do love being the designated driver.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
That is something I enjoy. Seeing my friends have a good time, being like, "Don't worry, Tom will take you home."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- 45:25 – 49:32
Tom Asks Jay About Life As A Monk
- SPSpeaker
to go away and do one of those retreats where, you know, you go to somewhere like India and you go to those places where you don't speak for a month or something like that. Like, that must have just been the most enlightening experience.
- JSJay Shetty
Mate, now that you've said that, when you, when you wanna go, I'm gonna take you.
- SPSpeaker
Please.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, you let me know when. Yeah
- SPSpeaker
'Cause I would absolutely love to go. I met a guy, I was on holiday earlier this year, and he had just got back from a retreat. He did two weeks where he didn't make a sound-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm
- SPSpeaker
... and was just explaining to me how eye-opening it was.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah, no, I, I mean, to me it was one of the best experiences of my life because even the stuff that I did then, I was 22 years old when I did it, even the stuff that I did then, I don't even know if I'd be able to do it anymore now.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
But there was such a, like, energy you had as a 22-year-old-
- SPSpeaker
Sure
- JSJay Shetty
... where you're just open to any experience and wanting to try it all out.
- SPSpeaker
Amazing.
- JSJay Shetty
And I think for me it was because, and it comes back to the people that have done things. When I was 18 was when I first met a monk. I, I never really knew what monks did or-
- SPSpeaker
Sure, right
- JSJay Shetty
... or any of their practices. But I met a monk, who I write about in my book, who just blew my mind because he was the first person I met that I felt was at ease with himself. And when I was 18, I'd met people who were, like, rich and famous and, you know, beautiful and powerful and all this type of stuff, but I don't think I'd met anyone who was truly happy and content-
- SPSpeaker
Sure
- JSJay Shetty
... with themselves. Not happy like, "Oh, I'm so happy. Life's amazing."
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
I mean more like happy with who they-
- SPSpeaker
At peace with who they are
- JSJay Shetty
... at peace with who they were.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Totally.
- JSJay Shetty
And for some reason at 18, that kind of like was an arrow straight to my heart where I was like, "That's, that's real. Like, I want that."
- SPSpeaker
Wow.
- JSJay Shetty
And it just, it's so hard to explain because everyone's like, "Well, how did you know that at 18?" And I was like, "I don't know." It must have been how powerful he was. It's kind of like, it's kind of like you wake up when, when the sun's out and the light's out, and you just wake up because y- you feel that energy, and I felt it through him. And then I, I went to university, and I'd talk to him and I'd meet him in the summers and Christmases. But I just decided, I was like, I wanna do this because I'd met someone who I felt had emotional and mental mastery in a way that I'd never seen before.
- SPSpeaker
Wow.
- JSJay Shetty
And so when I went out there, and whether it was the meditation training or whether it was the simplicity training of the lifestyle, or whether it was the, the, the teachings and the values that you had to live by, I just got so ... I got so much from it that I honestly believe that anything that I'm good at doing today is because of what I learned during that time.
- 49:32 – 53:09
Tom Holland’s Travel Bucket List
- SPSpeaker
if I see a beautiful landscape or something, I will try and See if I can find an angle of it where there's nothing man-made-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm
- SPSpeaker
... in the view.
- JSJay Shetty
I love it.
- SPSpeaker
'Cause it's, you know what it's like. Like, you see a beautiful hill or something, and there's a telephone pole in the middle of it or a lamppost or something. So doing something like that where there is nothing but just Mother Nature-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... and the silence and being with yourself. I'm obsessed with nature.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
It's like one of my biggest passions. I'm absolutely... Like, this new Our Planet show has just come out. One sitting, I've done the whole thing.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Um, so I would love to do something like that.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
So next time you're going-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah
- SPSpeaker
... let me know.
- JSJay Shetty
We'll figure it out.
- SPSpeaker
I'll come with you. Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, we'll figure it out. No. Where's, where's a place? I love nature, too. I, I just took my... Me and my wife just went to Bali.
- SPSpeaker
Oh, I love Bali.
- JSJay Shetty
And yeah, and it was unbelievable.
- SPSpeaker
[sighs]
- JSJay Shetty
We went white water rafting, and it-
- SPSpeaker
Nice
- JSJay Shetty
... almost felt like Jurassic Park. I was just waiting for a dinosaur head to pop out.
- SPSpeaker
Mm-hmm.
- JSJay Shetty
And it was just beautiful. It was so lush. It was so natural.
- SPSpeaker
I love Bali.
- JSJay Shetty
There were these waterfalls everywhere. And another place that I've loved nature-wise, India of course we, we mentioned, but Iceland. I got to-
- SPSpeaker
I would love to go to Iceland
- JSJay Shetty
... I got to go to Iceland a few years ago, and my friend was filming a, a, a documentary out there.
- 53:09 – 57:50
Tom Holland On Taking A Break From Acting
- SPSpeaker
itself. I just have been so lucky that in my life I've been working so much. I just wanted to take a break. I just wanted to be in one place for a while. I wanted to be with my friends, be with my family, move into my house. So it wasn't necessarily, "Oh my God, I need to have a break from acting 'cause it's too much."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I just needed to have a break from traveling and, and working and, and also, I've done so much of my growing up on the road. I needed to do a lot of growing up at home, paying my water bill, paying my council tax, and sorting out my bins and all that sort of stuff that they don't teach you at school, which I think there should be a lesson. I think there should be a lesson at school that's called life-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... which is, like, laundry, basic cooking. Like, I didn't realize you had to pay for your water. I just thought that was a luxury of living in England, that-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... the water comes out the sky, and then it comes out your tap.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I was so behind on my water bill. I didn't realize.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I'm up to date now.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Don't worry.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
So yeah, I just wanted to take this break, and it's a shame, again, talking about the press and how they can spin things. It's a shame that this year off has come after this incredibly hard job, and that they kinda ran with this idea that, yes, the show did break me, and yes, it was difficult, but I could have gone back to work. I was always planning on taking this break after this job. So thank you for giving me the time to sort of clarify that. I am loving having time off, and going back to work is something that isn't really on my radar yet. I'm just loving being with my family and my friends and, and enjoying, you know, the fruits of my labor a little bit-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... and, and traveling and seeing the world 'cause, you know, we get to see the world for work, but it's different.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
You know, going off of your own accord and, and, and seeing these places and meeting people is, is what I love. I'm very social, which is one of the things I found so difficult about giving up alcohol is because I was like, "That's my key to my social life." And then I realized, I was like, "No, you're just actually naturally a really social person. The alcohol is a, just an additive to that."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
"So get rid of it." So yeah, so my, my, my year off has been amazing. I'm loving it. I'm six months, seven months into it now. I have a job to go to, but, you know, obviously we're going through this writers' strike right now.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
We're unsure as to where we are. Um, I'm hoping that, you know, the writers can make a deal-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm
- SPSpeaker
... and will be looked after as they should be because it'd be great to get back to work, but I'm in no rush.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I'm really loving some time at home.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. 'Cause how old are you now?
- SPSpeaker
27.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. And so if you've been working since you were nine or at least-
- 57:50 – 1:03:02
Tom Holland’s Acting Techniques
- JSJay Shetty
I don't think I've fully done it online. And so if you're willing to go there, I'd really appreciate it.
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
When you're playing a role, I think as a viewer, we massively underestimate how hard acting is, especially when the role is the kind of role that you're playing in The Crowded Room.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Like, I, I think we just underestimate as a viewer, and I'm fortunate enough to know enough actors offline where I've had these conversations before, whether, whether it's people who do method acting or whether it's people who, you know, really try and get into character. Like, you always hear about the stories of, like, how Jared Leto, when he was becoming the Joker, was sending people rats and-
- SPSpeaker
That's terrifying
- JSJay Shetty
... human feces in their mail. Like, literally live-
- SPSpeaker
I tell you what, if you sent me human feces in my mail, there'd be trouble.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I wouldn't be putting up with that. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
You, you and Jared Leto in a boxing match there.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, there'd be a boxing movie then.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Yeah. But, but you know, that idea of, like, I think, I think as viewers, we don't re- It's what I'm saying is, like, when I went on tour, I was like, "I get it."
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
"I get it now." As viewers, we don't get it because we don't really hear about the deep process that actors go through of getting into a role, playing someone with multiple personalities. Like, you know, that... I don't know. I- is that, is that tough, or is it act- or is that not as... Am I getting it wrong, and that's not actually the tough part?
- SPSpeaker
You're definitely not getting it wrong. I think it's just different.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
It's case by case, you know? There are people like Jared who, who dive into their roles, and they do things like sending people dead rats and stuff like that, and they think that that's what they need to do. I've always been really good at separating my on-set emotions from my personal life emotions. As a young kid, I used to really heavily rely on my personal emotions to get them to come across on screen, and I just found it really unhealthy. I just found that, like, uh, the line between my life and my character's life would be blurred, and ultimately, at the end of the experience of making the film, I would be a very different person, but not because of my experiences as Tom. It would be because of my experiences as my character. So I decided very early on to find certain techniques and certain ways to get into those emotions from a sort of technical point of view. I never sit on set and think about my, my mum getting sick or my... or never speaking to my brothers again or something like that. I never blur the lines with my personal life and my work life. I always leave work at work. There are jobs like The Crowded Room that are particularly taxing. Getting to those emotions on a daily basis is really difficult and really tiring. But, you know, it's probably somewhat like Coldplay on their 89th show. You just dig your heels in. You realize you've got a job to do. We're all wonderfully well-paid. There are people that work far harder for far less. I recognize how lucky I am, so I'm like, "If I need to cry today and tomorrow and the next 50 days in a row, I'll do so." Yes, it's difficult, but I think your question, I'm probably the worst person to ask that-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... 'cause I think I have, like, a really healthy outlook on how I achieve my emotions on set.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Um, but I have worked with people that shut their bedroom door and just dive into the character and are poring through the script every night and, and are in character all the time, and I admire them. I don't necessarily think it's the healthiest way to go about it. But yeah, I've always been really strict on myself to leave my work at work. Obviously, I come home and read the script and do all of my prep work, but I'm not... I'm leaving the character at work-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... because it's too, it's too much-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... especially when you're playing a character like, like Danny from The Crowded Room. Like, you can't bring that into your personal life. It's tough.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. I mean, that... But I'm actually glad I asked it to you either way because what I'm actually hearing is you did it early on, and you saw it wasn't healthy.
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
And so you actually found another way.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- 1:03:02 – 1:09:31
Tom Holland On Living In The USA
- SPSpeaker
lived all over the place.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I've lived in LA. I've lived in New York.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I've lived in Atlanta.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
You know, I've lived in Cleveland-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... which was amazing.
- JSJay Shetty
Oh, wow. Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Um, so I- I really like spending time in the States.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
We just obviously, Crowded Room, we did a year in New York.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
We moved to Tribeca. We started off in Midtown, and Midtown for me was a bit of a nightmare. That's where all the schools are.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
So I'd come home from work, and I'd come outside, and it's like all the biggest Spiderman fans you've ever seen in your life.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Like, "Oh, my God."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, it's like the worst planning of all-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, it was a nightmare. So-
- JSJay Shetty
All the kids. Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... we moved down to Tribeca to this amazing apartment, which was really lovely.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
We were very lucky to be down there.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
But, um, but where... So how do you find LA?
- JSJay Shetty
I-- So you know what? It's really interesting because when I- I moved to New York first.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And I loved it. I found New York to be just a bigger, crazier London.
- 1:09:31 – 1:15:48
On Trusting Your Gut
- SPSpeaker
with myself is the inner battle between my gut and my brain.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
I know that sounds really weird.
- JSJay Shetty
No, it's real.
- SPSpeaker
But, like, I go with my gut a lot. I'm very, very ... I, I think a lot of the decisions I make in life are very sort of instinctual. I don't like to be bombarded with evidence and facts and all that sort of stuff. I just like to feel a certain way about how-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm
- SPSpeaker
... I would like something to sort of transpire. Can be taking a film, accepting a script, doing a business deal, buying a house. Like, it's all sorts of different things. Through your monk life, did you feel like you would rely on your s- q- kind of inner instincts rather than, like, getting the evidence of this is gonna make you this much money, or if you do that, these are the risks? How do you, where do you stand with that sort of thing?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
That was the most poorly worded question-
- JSJay Shetty
No, it isn't though
- SPSpeaker
... but you know what I mean.
- JSJay Shetty
No, no, no. Mate, mate, I think both ... I, I think this has been such a conversation that-
- SPSpeaker
Mm
- JSJay Shetty
... that is what a question sounds like in a conversation. And-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... and I've, I think I've asked you fairly poorly worded questions today as well, but I think that's what real c- communication is. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Well, we're having a chat. Yeah, it's fine.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, rather than like, "Mate, I've got question one." Like-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... uh, but no, I, I, I think I get what you're saying, and if I go on the wrong track, let me know. But living as a monk, you're trained to understand that everything exists in a certain mode, and so I'll explain what that means.
- SPSpeaker
Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
And so in the monk philosophy, there are three modes, and the modes are the mode of ignorance, the mode of passion, and the mode of goodness. And it's said that every decision, every thought, every action, every intention, every relationship can be in the mode of ignorance, mode of passion, or mode of goodness. And the mode of ignorance is where your relationships or any act is based on insecurity or fear.
- SPSpeaker
Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
So when you're doing something out of fear or you're doing it out of insecurity or you're doing it out of pressure, that's considered the mode of ignorance. And energetically, we all feel that, right?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Like, you know whether you're b- w- I would know whether you were being forced to do this interview today-
- SPSpeaker
Sure
- JSJay Shetty
... out of, out of some sort of fear or some sort of whatever it may be.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
The mode of passion is where you're doing something because you want a certain result. You're doing it just for the reward. You're doing it just because it's gonna get you what you want. It's gonna get you to the goal.
- 1:15:48 – 1:23:53
Living A “Normal” Life & Staying Away From Hollywood
- JSJay Shetty
with you today that, you know, I, I don't know you before, I don't know you after. I've only met you today, so I, I can't judge who you are or what you enjoy. I, all I can say is that when I'm sitting with you today, I feel like I'm sitting with an authentic individual, and your energy comes across very easily. Thank you. Do you feel like you've had to hold onto that at times with opportunities, challenges, the industry, or, or is that all stuff that we kinda make up in our heads and it's actually just be yourself and you're fine? I really don't know the answer to that question. I, I, I've definitely walked away from a lot. Mm. And I think had I not walked away from certain situations, let's just put it at that, I would be a very different person today. Mm. I've been really good at keeping in touch with my friends, keeping my family close, listening to the lessons, not getting caught up in the Hollywood hype. Like, I really am a massive fan of making movies, but I really do not like Hollywood. It is not for me. The, the business really scares me. I understand that I'm a part of that business, and I enjoy my kind of interactions with it. But that said, I am always looking for ways to kind of remove myself from it, to kind of just live as normal a life as possible. Today, doing this is a very rare thing for me to do. Like, in London, to come in and speak to someone about my life is something I would not typically do. But because I'm a fan of yours, and I was keen to kind of hear what you had to say and, and chat to you today, I felt like this would be a safe space for me to do that. Um, but yeah, I definitely think it has been an ongoing thought, which is, "Don't lose yourself." I've seen so many people come before me and lose themselves, and I've had friends that I've grown up with that aren't friends of mine anymore because they've lost themselves to this business. And I just am really, really keen to focus on what makes me happy, which is my family, it's my friends, it's my carpentry, my golf, um, the charity that my mom runs. Like, that is the stuff that makes me really happy, and that's the stuff that I should protect. My relationship is the thing that I keep most sacred. I don't talk about it. I, I try my best to keep it as private as possible. We both feel very strongly that that is the healthiest way for us to, to move on as a couple. Um, so I do try to keep as removed from it as possible. Like, you'll never see me at an awards show that I don't have to be at. I'm never going to a red carpet event that I'm not in the film of, you know? I don't want the attention when I don't need it. I love the spotlight. I love the pressure that comes with it. Just watched that tennis documentary, Breaking Point. I haven't seen it yet. I love tennis. You gotta see it. It's amazing. I never realized how brutal tennis was. I've always been a huge tennis lover. I am now absolutely in awe of what those athletes go through. But there's a quote from Billie Jean King that's on the, um, stand at her stadium in New York that says, "Pressure is a privilege." Mm. And that is so true. Like, oh my God, feeling pressure on a daily basis in the capacity that we feel is such a privilege. I love feeling pressure. I feel like I thrive under pressure. The best golf I've ever played in my life is when there are cameras around and people are watching. I just think that that is a real amazing thing to be able to experience. So I enjoy it while I can, and then when it becomes a bit much, I kind of become a bit of a recluse and I disappear. I come back to Kingston. I play golf. I play tennis. I hang out with my friends and my family, do the pub quiz and- [laughs] ... and all that sort of stuff. Yeah. Um, so yeah, so it is something I actively try to do. As I get older, it only gets easier. Yeah. You know? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and, and I, I can, I can relate to that where in, in my s- in my small way or in my world, where a lot of my friends think, like, I'm in LA, like, always at events, always at parties. I'm not. I'm not. I'm, like, in bed by 9:30 PM. Right. And I only live there because it works for me in, in the world that I do and what I do, and- Sure ... and, and I enjoy living in LA, but it's, it, I don't live there for Hollywood, and I think that's often the perception as well- Mm ... where everyone's like, "Oh, you're all Hollywood now." And I'm like, "Well, no, not really." Like, I, I don't re- I don't really go to all the events and- Sure ... gatherings and stuff unless I need to be there or- Sure ... or I'm connected to a project. So, so I relate to that. What, what... You mentioned a few things there, but if I had to ask you as, Tom, when do you feel most yourself? Like, when do you feel most connected or, and what are you trying to reconnect to if you're like, "Well, I know what it is, but I'm still figuring it out again"?
- SPSpeaker
I think when I feel most myself is to do with my relationships. I'm gonna leave that and not talk about that.
- JSJay Shetty
Absolutely.
- SPSpeaker
But I think the other thing, and this is such a stupid thing, but it's when I'm playing good golf. Like, there's something about how go- golf is the most humbling sport in the world.
- JSJay Shetty
I agree.
- SPSpeaker
It doesn't matter who you are, doesn't matter how much money you've got, how successful you are, golf will batter you no matter who you are, and I love... That's what I love about it. You know, you... It's such a leveling sport. I love going to a golf course and meeting new people that I've never played with before, playing a round of golf. I struggle when I don't play badly. Like, I've got a bit of a temper and, like, you're supposed to have 14 clubs in your bag. I currently have nine-
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
... and you can probably guess why. Um, but I, I just love being outside. I've always been an outdoorsy person. I love being on the golf course. I love my mates. They all love playing golf. Th- there's just something about the challenge of shooting lower than your lowest score that really kind of takes my mind off of the work. The interesting thing about golf is that you could be having a terrible day, you could be really upset about something, and if you play really well, you completely forget about it. If you play really badly, you then are playing badly because of what's happening outside of golf.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
It's like a really weird kind of catch 22, I guess.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Um, but I love it. I think when I'm playing good golf is when I feel most like myself.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Wow. That's a, that's a-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... that's a unique answer, but I get it.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, it's weird.
- JSJay Shetty
I get what you're saying. Yeah. I've only ever played golf, like, twice in my life-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... and I totally get the point of how humbling it is. It is horrendous. No matter how quickly you pick up other things in life-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... golf is not one of those things that you pick up that easily.
- SPSpeaker
Well, mate, you can sign the biggest deal of your life and go out to play golf to celebrate, and it'll ruin your day.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Like, absolutely ruin your day.
- JSJay Shetty
Don't go out to play golf to celebrate, ever. Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
No, never go out to celebrate.
- JSJay Shetty
No.
- SPSpeaker
No. Crazy.
- JSJay Shetty
No.
- SPSpeaker
Do you play, do you still play any sport?
- 1:23:53 – 1:33:37
Swimming With Killer Whales
- SPSpeaker
we went swimming with killer whales in Mexico.
- JSJay Shetty
Wow.
- SPSpeaker
I said the other day, it was last year, and it was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. There's no proof of it. There's no evidence 'cause it was so off the cuff. We weren't planning on doing it. So most people I tell are like, "You definitely didn't do that." But we, we were in, we were in Mexico, and we were on a boat, and we just so happened to see this pod of orca. Jack, my security guard, thought it'd be a good idea to jump in. He jumped straight in, flippers on, goggles on, and we were driving to keep up with the whales 'cause they were kind of following our boat. So by the time Jack had jumped in, he was like this. He was like 100 meters away, and you could see him, and the whales were, like, swimming around him. So I'm starting to freak out 'cause he's a good friend of mine.
- JSJay Shetty
And he's your security guy, so yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. He's my security.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
I'm like, "Jack, we gotta get back to the hotel, bro."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Um, so I said to the guy, like, "Excuse me, sir. Can you turn around and go and get my friend?" 'Cause we now can't see him anymore. Like, he's gone.
- JSJay Shetty
Oh my God.
- SPSpeaker
We found him. We got him back in the boat, and he sort of said like, "Lads, you have to get in. There i- it's unlike anything you've ever seen before." My brother Harry's, like, googling whether or not it's safe to swim with them, and it sort of... The general consensus online is don't go swimming with killer whales. You can. There's never been a recorded attack in the wild, but they are wild animals.
- JSJay Shetty
There's no one to report that. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
They're also as big as a bus, and also Jack's giving it like, "Don't worry, Tom. I'll be there. I'll look after you." I'm like, "Jack, what are you gonna do, bro?"
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Like, what's this, this whale decides to eat me? So anyway, we put the flippers on, put the goggles on. We find the whales. They're sort of interacting with the back of the boat. They're clearly curious, and I just thought, like... I guess it goes back to what you were saying, the mode of ignorance. I just was like, "I'm gonna try it and see what happens."
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I jumped in. My brother jumped in. Jack jumped in. We kind of came together. We're 30 miles out of the coast, so it's literally, like, dark blue water, nothing below us. And to my relief, the whales had gone. We couldn't see them. So I'm sort of thinking, "Oh, well, that's actually a bit of a touch. At least I can say I jumped in and they have gone."
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
But then Jack said, "Look down." And we looked down, and it came from beneath us. And what has been such an interesting experience for me was as soon as I saw the whale, I wasn't scared anymore because I could just tell That it wasn't gonna eat me. You c- I don't know, I don't know how to explain it, but you could just see from its body language. I remember it so vividly. It swam up to us. It was maybe 10 meters below us, and it was kind of motionlessly sort of just looking at us, and then it kinda rolled on its back, and it did this weird thing where it kind of put its head like this, and you could see its eye. Like, we were having this crazy, like, moment, and then it just swam off, and it was gone. And then for three hours afterwards, I couldn't speak. I had the biggest adrenaline dump. I just basically was asleep. But it was such an amazing experience to sort of meet the apex predator of the world-
- JSJay Shetty
Mm
- SPSpeaker
... and it kinda look at you and just swim away.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
Most people don't believe me because-
- JSJay Shetty
I believe you
- SPSpeaker
... there's no evidence, but it was... I think about it now.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
And then, do you know what's so funny as well? I see these, I s- like, our planet, there's, there's m- more footage of orcas hunting and another way in which they hunt. There is no way I would do that again.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
There's no way I'm getting there again. [laughs] But yeah, it was amazing.
- JSJay Shetty
That's amazing, man. It, hearing you explain it is like you're so present.
- 1:33:37 – 1:35:52
Tom Holland's Opinion On Pickleball
- JSJay Shetty
I wanna talk about, um, sports 'cause I was thinking. So I, I play a lot of tennis, play a lot of football.
- SPSpeaker
Love it.
- JSJay Shetty
I play a lot of pickleball now.
- SPSpeaker
You play a lot of pickleball.
- JSJay Shetty
Pickle-
- SPSpeaker
Okay
- JSJay Shetty
... because that's, that's become a thing-
- SPSpeaker
Vigilating, yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... but, but I'm massively more into paddle. I don't think you've ever-
- SPSpeaker
Mate, I love paddle tennis, bro.
- JSJay Shetty
I love paddle. Like-
- SPSpeaker
Paddle tennis is so fun
- JSJay Shetty
... that's, I want that to blow up in-
- SPSpeaker
Yeah
- JSJay Shetty
... the US, but it's not going to. So when I went to Dubai and I went to Miami and I went to Madrid 'cause it's big in Spain.
- SPSpeaker
Mate.
- JSJay Shetty
Are they playing it here?
- SPSpeaker
Yeah. My local tennis club has got two courts.
- JSJay Shetty
No way.
- SPSpeaker
And, like, you can't book them. They're so sold out.
- JSJay Shetty
All right.
- SPSpeaker
Honestly, paddle tennis, I love tennis.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I think tennis is one of the best sports in the world.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And I think that, you know, they are the highest performing athletes, some of, in the world. But it's really hard tennis.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Like, I find unless I'm playing with someone who's much better than me, I don't play well.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Like, I really, I, I need to be chasing someone.
- 1:35:52 – 1:40:26
Who Are Tom Holland’s Inspirations?
- JSJay Shetty
when you can notice other athl- athletes and other greatness, and I see that at the top. We talk, we've talked a lot today about... And, and you're really good at this. Like, you really, I feel like, I feel like you're quite tuned into, like, admiring and observing greatness and, like, the 1% and, and-
- SPSpeaker
Sure
- JSJay Shetty
... trying to figure out what they're doing differently. And I think that's one of the things I've definitely seen of the 1%, is that there's a humility in that they have the ability to appreciate other people's greatness and skills-
- SPSpeaker
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... and values and purpose. Like, they're not looking at it going, "I'm the best of all time."
- SPSpeaker
Sure.
- JSJay Shetty
There's a part of them... They, they may have to say that for the cameras, or they may have to say that before they go on the pitch. But actually, if you talk to them and you ask them about someone else, they'll be like, "Yeah, best, best player I've ever seen." Like-
- SPSpeaker
Right
- JSJay Shetty
... they're incredible.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
And so who did you admire growing up in acting? Who do you admire today? Like, who have been the people that... And maybe on a mindset level or maybe on a or, or a performance level as well.
- SPSpeaker
There are definitely performances of people that I look up to. There are, there are the types of careers of certain actors that I really admire. There are also, like, the, the types of lives that certain people lead that I really admire and that I really aspire to sort of be like. Um, I tend to let all of my admiration go towards athletes.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
I'm just so blown away by what they can do under the pressure that they're under. Me as an actor, I realize that my job is a high-pressure job because it reaches millions of people. But that said, there are so many people that help me get to where I need to be.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
I get picked up. Someone makes me breakfast. Someone writes the words that I'm supposed to say. Someone chooses my costume. Someone does my hair and makeup. Someone sets the camera up. Ultimately, I walk onto set and I do my bit, but I'm a small part in a massive machine. But when you look at someone like Djokovic or Federer or, you know, this new Alcaraz, you know, or the golfers or, or Lewis. Lewis is slightly different because Formula 1 is so much about the team and the car and all that sort of stuff. They have to do it themselves at a certain point. There's only so much help they can get, but then when they walk onto that court for the first time, when they walk into the ring or into the octagon, it's them by themselves. They're under that amount of pressure. It's up to them whether they deliver or not. And I just have always been admiring of seeing some of the greats lose their win streak and come back even stronger. I've always really been an admirer of people that are able to do that. I think it's a folly when you see these win streaks of 50 and 0 and all that sort of stuff, and you're like, well- That to me isn't what a champion is. A champion is someone who had it all, lost it all, and got it right back again.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm-hmm.
- SPSpeaker
Tyson Fury's story is a crazy one. I'd love to see AJ come back and be on top again, because I'd love to be alive to witness that legacy that he would leave behind.
- JSJay Shetty
Mm.
- SPSpeaker
You know? I feel sorry for him, what happened to him, when he sort of seemed to really lose it a little bit in the ring when he took the microphone, and I'd love to see him back on top and to, to have some clarity and, and to be a champion again, 'cause I admire him as an athlete. So I, I save most of my admiration for athletes.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And musicians. I love musicians. I see someone like Ed Sheeran-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, absolutely. Same
- SPSpeaker
... have 80,000 people in the palm of his hand. I think comedians are equally as talented. The ability that they can just go on stage and make people laugh, that is terrifying. Actors for me, because it's what I do-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah
- SPSpeaker
... i- it's like, meh.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs]
- SPSpeaker
You know?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah. I get, I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. And, and at the end of the day, it's just, it's, it's taking what you can from, from what you aspire for, right? Like, you, you can take something from all these people.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- 1:40:26 – 1:44:35
Tom Holland Talks About Footballer Harry Kane
- JSJay Shetty
Tom, before we go to the Final Five, you've been so gracious with your time today, I have to ask you if, if you wanna clarify the Harry Kane situation, because-
- SPSpeaker
[laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
And I'll tell you what, the reason why I say this is I had the dream. So I'm a Manchester United supporter. Everyone in my community knows that very well.
- SPSpeaker
Right.
- JSJay Shetty
Uh, I have always had the dream that Harry Kane, when Wayne Rooney retired-
- SPSpeaker
Mm-hmm
- JSJay Shetty
... Harry Kane was gonna come to Manchester United.
- SPSpeaker
Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
And he was gonna follow in the footsteps of all the great England forwards that have played-
- SPSpeaker
Okay
- JSJay Shetty
... for Manchester United. That didn't happen.
- SPSpeaker
No, it didn't happen.
- JSJay Shetty
I'm still holding onto that dream, but you want him to go somewhere else. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Well, listen. Listen, let me just clarify, right? I love Harry Kane. I love Heung Min Son. Heung Min Son is my favorite football player. He is a hero. I love Tottenham. I'm a big Tottenham fan, but I just, I know that those players could thrive and have the best careers ever somewhere else. [laughs]
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I just wanna see, I wanna see Harry lifting a trophy, and I wanna see Son there by him, and, and, and I just don't think Tottenham-
- JSJay Shetty
You, you're rooting for the individual.
- SPSpeaker
Ye- yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
I'll always be a Tottenham fan. I, you know, I love being a Spurs fan.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
My brother Harry and I, you know, we've really pondered over it. But I j- I just, you know-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah
- SPSpeaker
... Harry Kane's one of the best strikers in the world.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And, um, he, he would fit into almost any team, and I'd love to see him on top.
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
And I, interesting question: Do you think he would have had a similar season to Haaland had he gone to City?
- JSJay Shetty
Ooh. Oh, that's a... I, I personally think-
- SPSpeaker
'Cause I think Haaland's amazing
- 1:44:35 – 1:50:51
Tom on Final Five
- JSJay Shetty
amazing today. Honestly, this is, uh, yeah, this has been some of the most fun I've had in a long time.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah, me too.
- JSJay Shetty
So thank you.
- SPSpeaker
Thank you. I appreciate it.
- JSJay Shetty
But, uh, I wanna ask, we ask everyone the Final Five, and so these are the fast five questions.
- SPSpeaker
Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
Which means answers have to be one word to one sentence maximum.
- SPSpeaker
Okay.
- JSJay Shetty
No more than that.
- SPSpeaker
Done.
- JSJay Shetty
Okay? Uh, and you don't have to write or spell them out, so no, no, no pronunciation.
- SPSpeaker
That'd be a long-
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah. [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
That'd be a long segment.
- JSJay Shetty
So none of, none of that. All right. So Tom Holland, these are your Final Five. Uh, question one: what is the best advice you've ever received?
- SPSpeaker
To turn your nerves into excitement.
- JSJay Shetty
I like that. That we've never had on the show. I love that. All right, second question: what is the worst advice you've ever received?
- SPSpeaker
Move to LA, get a marijuana license, and buy a hot tub.
- JSJay Shetty
Who told you that? [laughs]
- SPSpeaker
Mark Wahlberg.
- JSJay Shetty
[laughs] That's brilliant.
- SPSpeaker
No, he told me that on a chat show, so I don't know if that was legit advice, but I didn't take his advice.
- JSJay Shetty
Okay. Good.
- SPSpeaker
Yeah.
- JSJay Shetty
Well, uh, who would you have been if you took that advice?
- SPSpeaker
Who knows?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah.
- SPSpeaker
Who knows?
- JSJay Shetty
Yeah, who knows? Um, all right, question number three: what's the first thing you do every morning and the last thing you do every night?
- SPSpeaker
Make my bed is the first thing I do, and the last thing I do before I go to bed, admittedly, is I check my emails, which I shouldn't do, but that is what I do. Yeah, it's bad.
Episode duration: 1:50:51
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Transcript of episode GOqEl4ADyVk
