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Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

TOM HOLLAND: "I Was Addicted to a FAKE Life — No One Knew What I Was Hiding Until It BROKE ME"

Today, I am joined by Tom Holland, widely known for his portrayal of the Marvel superhero Spiderman, and recently for his role in The Crowded Room. Beyond acting, Tom Holland is known for his friendly and charismatic personality, often delighting fans with his playful interactions and energetic interviews. In this episode, we get a glimpse of the true, behind-the-scenes, Tom Holland - the mental health struggles, dealing with anxiety, and getting sober. This episode will leave you with a deeper understanding of life, personal growth, and finding true happiness. In this episode with Tom Holland, we discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:46 The Gift Of Supportive Parents 09:32 Tom Holland Addresses The “Nervous Breakdown” Rumors 14:24 On Being Diagnosed With Dyslexia 16:05 How Did Tom Holland Get Into Acting? 20:02 Tom Holland’s Love Of Sports 30:46 Recognizing Alcohol Addiction 40:41 How Sobriety Impacts Your Life & Career 45:25 Tom Asks Jay About Life As A Monk 49:32 Tom Holland’s Travel Bucket List 53:09 Tom Holland On Taking A Break From Acting 57:50 Tom Holland’s Acting Techniques 01:03:02 Tom Holland On Living In The USA 01:09:31 On Trusting Your Gut 01:15:48 Living A “Normal” Life & Staying Away From Hollywood 01:23:53 Swimming With Killer Whales 01:33:37 Tom Holland's Opinion On Pickleball 01:35:52 Who Are Tom Holland’s Inspirations? 01:40:26 Tom Holland Talks About Footballer Harry Kane 01:44:35 Tom on Final Five Episode Resources: Tom Holland | https://www.instagram.com/tomholland2013/?hl=en Tom Holland | https://twitter.com/TomHolland1996 Want to be a Jay Shetty Certified Life Coach? Get the Digital Guide and Workbook from Jay Shetty https://jayshettypurpose.com/fb-getting-started-as-a-life-coach-podcast/

Jay Shettyhost
Jul 10, 20231h 50mWatch on YouTube ↗

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At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Tom Holland on Sobriety, Social Media, Burnout and Staying Grounded

  1. Tom Holland says he deleted Instagram during The Crowded Room because he was addicted to a false version of his life, and he is upset that the press framed his break as a nervous breakdown.
  2. He credits his dad's resilience and his parents' steady support for his work ethic and his ability to shrug off bad reviews.
  3. Holland says he was addicted to alcohol, quit about a year and a half ago, and now sleeps better, thinks more clearly and feels happier; he credits replacements and supportive friends.
  4. The two compare gut instinct with Jay's monk-derived framework for decisions, and discuss how Holland separates his on-set emotions from his personal life.
  5. Holland describes staying grounded through family, golf and carpentry, and avoiding Hollywood, while swimming with orcas and the Jay's gorilla trek serve as stories about presence and humility.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Asking for help should be celebrated

Holland says the message of The Crowded Room and his social media break is that seeking help should be met with a pat on the back, whether from a friend, therapist, teacher or colleague.

Watching a parent handle setbacks teaches resilience

Holland says his dad's ability to brush off a bad gig and keep going helps him cope with harsh critics, and he admires his dad's resilience through a career that plateaued.

Alcohol dependence can hide behind social acceptability

Holland says he was addicted to alcohol, worried about losing his social life, and found that he is naturally social and that the alcohol was just an additive.

Replacements and community make quitting stick

Holland found alternative drinks and a ritual that felt similar, while Jay explained the monk idea that you cannot give up a lower taste without a higher one, and both stressed learning from people further along.

A break from acting was about being home, not quitting

Holland says his time off was planned after a very hard job so he could stay in one place, be with family and friends, and learn the basics of adult life, and he felt the press spun it.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

A champion is someone who had it all, lost it all, and got it right back again.

— Unattributed

the message of our show is that asking for help should be something that we celebrate.

— Unattributed

I really am a massive fan of making movies, but I really do not like Hollywood. It is not for me.

— Unattributed

I've seen so many people come before me and lose themselves, and I've had friends that I've grown up with that aren't friends of mine anymore because they've lost themselves to this business.

— Unattributed

you can be mentored by people you've never met.

— Jay Shetty

Social media break and press framing of mental healthParents' influence and resilienceQuitting alcohol and sobriety benefitsTaking a year off from actingSeparating acting emotions from personal lifeGut instinct versus strategic decisionsAvoiding Hollywood and staying grounded

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