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The Jefferson Fisher PodcastThe Jefferson Fisher Podcast

How to Stand Up for Yourself and Speak with Confidence

You want to advocate for yourself more. But you’re not sure how to do that. You know you deserve to be heard, but finding the right words—and the confidence to say them—can be tough. In this episode, I’ll show you 3 simple strategies to stand up for yourself. Plus, I’ll reveal how to choose your battles wisely, the power of dropping disclaimers, and how to say “no” without feeling the need to justify it. These strategies will help you assert your worth, set clear boundaries, and navigate difficult conversations with confidence. Like what you hear? Subscribe to this podcast and leave a 5-star review! Listen and Follow on Spotify https://bit.ly/TJFP-Spotify Listen and Follow on Apple Podcasts https://bit.ly/JFP-Apple Pre-order my new book: http://www.thenextconversation.com Subscribe to my newsletter: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/newsletter Follow me on ⁠Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher Follow me on ⁠LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson Follow me on X/Twitter: https://x.com/jefferson_fishr

Jefferson Fisherhost
Sep 3, 202413mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Stand up confidently by choosing battles, dropping hedges, saying no.

  1. Not every comment or conflict deserves your attention, so filter interactions through a “know your worth” lens before engaging.
  2. Verbal disclaimers and hedging (“I’m sorry, but…”) weaken your message, so state your needs directly instead of tiptoeing in.
  3. Saying “no” without lengthy justification protects self-confidence and prevents others from negotiating your boundary.
  4. You are not obligated to respond to every opinion or provocation, and choosing silence can be a form of self-advocacy.
  5. When pressed for a reason after declining, use short boundary statements like “It’s not what’s best for me right now.”

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Choose which battles deserve your energy.

Fisher argues that many arguments are “low-value” like chess pawns; you don’t need to stand up to everything, only what matters. Ask, “Is this person worth getting out of my chair for?” before engaging.

Silence is a valid boundary.

Someone offering an opinion doesn’t obligate you to respond—“a pitch” doesn’t require you to “swing.” Opting out prevents you from over-explaining yourself to people who don’t matter.

Stop leading with verbal disclaimers.

Prefacing with apologies and hedges (“I just feel like maybe…”) signals uncertainty and reduces perceived authority. Replace tiptoeing with a direct statement of your need or position.

Be direct early; don’t “wade into” hard conversations.

Using the cold-plunge metaphor, he recommends jumping in—say the core message right away rather than slowly building up to it. Delayed clarity increases discomfort and weakens delivery.

Don’t justify your “no” by default.

Adding “because…” invites negotiation and slowly erodes self-confidence. Use “No.” and let follow-up questions be optional rather than automatic explanations.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Here's a hard truth. If you don't advocate for yourself, nobody will. And if you don't assert your needs, let's face it, you will get walked over every single time.

— Jefferson Fisher

Just because somebody has said something does not mean that it requires a response from you. Just because they threw a pitch doesn't mean you have to swing.

— Jefferson Fisher

Stop attending every argument that you're invited to.

— Jefferson Fisher

Just because they spew out garbage does not mean that you're in the business of picking up trash.

— Jefferson Fisher

No is a complete sentence.

— Jefferson Fisher

Know-your-worth filter for engagementProtecting peace and conserving energyNot responding to every provocationDropping verbal disclaimers and hedgesCold-plunge metaphor: be direct immediately“No” as a complete sentenceShort scripts for “Why not?” after a no

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