What To Say Instead Of Getting Defensive

In this episode, I talk about why most arguments don’t actually start with conflict—they start with defensiveness. I share the mindset and communication shifts that have helped me reduce tension in my relationships, stop escalating disagreements, and make people feel heard instead of attacked. If you want fewer fights and better conversations, this episode is for you. Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/newsletter Thank you to our Sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 20% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. https://cozyearth.com/pages/jefferson Monarch Money. 50% off your first year at https://monarchmoney.com/jefferson Timeline. Their clinically proven formula is now available at a new, lower price. Mitopure now starts at $79, when you go to https://timeline.com/jefferson BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic Join my School of Communication. https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/membership Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en Follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/

Jefferson Fisherhost

Jun 2, 202623mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: June 2, 2026
Duration: 23m
Channel: The Jefferson Fisher Podcast
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

In this episode, I talk about why most arguments don’t actually start with conflict—they start with defensiveness. I share the mindset and communication shifts that have helped me reduce tension in my relationships, stop escalating disagreements, and make people feel heard instead of attacked. If you want fewer fights and better conversations, this episode is for you. Leave me a voicemail to be featured on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/ask-jefferson Order The Next Conversation Workbook: https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/workbook Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/newsletter Thank you to our Sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 20% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. https://cozyearth.com/pages/jefferson Monarch Money. 50% off your first year at https://monarchmoney.com/jefferson Timeline. Their clinically proven formula is now available at a new, lower price. Mitopure now starts at $79, when you go to https://timeline.com/jefferson BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, today! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/book Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/topic Join my School of Communication. https://www.jeffersonfisher.com/membership Follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jefferson_fisher Follow me on TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@justaskjefferson?lang=en Follow me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeffersonfisher/

SPEAKERS

Jefferson Fisher
host
Host of the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, focused on communication and conflict de-escalation coaching.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of The Jefferson Fisher Podcast, featuring Jefferson Fisher, What To Say Instead Of Getting Defensive explores stop defensiveness: affirm feelings first, then share your perspective calmly Arguments usually begin not with the complaint itself, but with your defensive response that turns it into an “accuracy contest.”

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