Joe Rogan Experience #1061 - Tom Papa

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Three, two, one. Happy…

   1. NANarrator0:06

      Three, two, one. Happy New Year, Tom Papa. (accordian music plays)

   2. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      Whee! Whee!

   3. TPTom Papa0:15

      (laughs)

   4. NANarrator0:16

      See how happy you get?

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Thank you for the gift.

   6. TPTom Papa0:19

      You're welcome.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      I've always wanted one of these.

   8. TPTom Papa0:21

      It's amazing.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      Not really.

   10. TPTom Papa0:22

       It is. It's a... (accordian music plays)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       (laughs)

   12. TPTom Papa0:26

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:26

       I got two things that I really don't want today.

   14. TPTom Papa0:29

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       One was herpes. No.

   16. TPTom Papa0:32

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       One was, uh, Yeezys.

   18. TPTom Papa0:34

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Don't you love them? Jamie thinks I'll love...

   20. TPTom Papa0:38

       They're accordion.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       Uh, he got me the wrong pair and I said, "Take these back. These are yours. You keep 'em." And he, he came back and brought me the right size.

   22. TPTom Papa0:45

       (laughs)

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:45

       He insists. First he brought me the wrong size.

   24. TPTom Papa0:48

       What's wrong with them?

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       That, they're fucking preposterous. Okay.

   26. TPTom Papa0:51

       Let me see 'em.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:52

       Look at them. If you were, um, Brendan Schaub, they're the perfect thing, because they're in. This looks like something from the 90s.

   28. TPTom Papa1:03

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       Like some kind of shoe from the 90s. Now, what level of outrage would there be if I started wearing these to run the mountains?

   30. TPTom Papa1:12

       What, what if they were really comfortable and you liked them?
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Listen, fuck Oprah. We…

   1. TPTom Papa15:00

      all of this energy, like a year's worth of energy, it can store. And they were about to be shipped to customers here in the US who bought them, who want them in their house, you know, as backup generators, basically. They were supposed to ship in January. They're not shipping now until April because he decided, "These people in Puerto Rico need energy," took all of those power walls, shipped them to Puerto Rico, and has built this new infrastructure for Puerto Rico. Hospitals are running on Tesla. Schools are running on Tesla. Uh, neighborhoods are running on it. And it was this quiet little story. Like, nobody ... This is a kickass company that went in and literally is saving this island.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:41

      Listen, fuck Oprah. We need Elon Musk-

   3. TPTom Papa15:43

      (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:43

      ... to run for president.

   5. TPTom Papa15:44

      That's what, yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:44

      I'm tired of people saying Oprah. The last-

   7. TPTom Papa15:46

      (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:46

      ... couple of days have been-

   9. TPTom Papa15:47

      It's been crazy. (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:49

       ... hell for me. (laughs) I love Oprah. Don't get me wrong. I think she's a wonderful woman.

   11. TPTom Papa15:52

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:52

       I think she's a powerful force of good-

   13. TPTom Papa15:54

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:55

       ... and positive energy.

   15. TPTom Papa15:56

       But she ain't no Elon.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       But she also brought us Dr. Oz and The Secret.

   17. TPTom Papa16:01

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:01

       We, we have, we have to remember what this lady has done.

   19. TPTom Papa16:05

       (laughs) She has to be held accountable.

   20. JRJoe Rogan16:07

       Sh- I forgive her, but I mean, cut the shit.

   21. TPTom Papa16:10

       (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:10

       The Secret is a particularly egregious offense.

   23. TPTom Papa16:13

       Eh, well, you don't, you just k-

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       Oh, you don't believe?

   25. TPTom Papa16:16

       You don't, don't believe?

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:16

       You don't believe? Believe? Believe?

   27. TPTom Papa16:19

       Uh, I want to be rich.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:22

       I just-

   29. TPTom Papa16:22

       I am rich.

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:23

       I imagine myself flying.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   And that millions of…

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      bullshit that also has a lot of those same words in it, right? Like, what is the difference?

   2. TPTom Papa30:07

      And that millions of people like.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:08

      Yeah. Yeah, but they're dumb as fuck, those people.

   4. TPTom Papa30:10

      Well, that's (laughs) but it's the same thing. You've got all these people that still buy into the horse shit.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      Yeah.

   6. TPTom Papa30:17

      ... there is a big herd of people out there that you can if you just start doing ... If Chris just stopped being a comedian and started posting videos like that all the time-

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:26

      Oh, he would kick ass.

   8. TPTom Papa30:26

      ... he'd get followers.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:27

      Well, if he really wanted to, if D'Elia really wanted to-

   10. TPTom Papa30:30

       (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:30

       ... be an inspirational guy. He's a handsome fellow, he's got a great voice-

   12. TPTom Papa30:35

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:35

       ... he's got a lot of energy.

   14. TPTom Papa30:36

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:37

       He's, he's, you know, he's dynamic. He could do that.

   16. TPTom Papa30:40

       (laughs)

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       He's fit.

   18. TPTom Papa30:40

       Yep.

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:41

       He could do something like that if he wanted to.

   20. TPTom Papa30:43

       Yeah. Kevin, the same thing.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       The things is, though, Chris can do other things.

   22. TPTom Papa30:47

       Mm-hmm.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:47

       A lot of these inspirational fucks, they really can't do things.

   24. TPTom Papa30:51

       Right.

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       They're not doing anything.

   26. TPTom Papa30:53

       Right.

   27. JRJoe Rogan30:53

       They're not producing any great works.

   28. TPTom Papa30:55

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       They're not, they're not doing any interesting art. They're not creating any interesting music, they're not making any funny comedy.

   30. TPTom Papa31:02

       Right. (laughs)
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      and-

   2. TPTom Papa45:01

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:01

      But then m- most of 'em not, though. Most of 'em not.

   4. TPTom Papa45:04

      Or at least ... I always feel like I'll bring an idea up on stage that hasn't been written down yet. There's something there, b- Yeah.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:14

      There's something going on, but then I bring it back to the shop and will play with it.

   6. TPTom Papa45:19

      Yeah.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:19

      And then, then it becomes this back and forth.

   8. TPTom Papa45:22

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:22

      Like, here's one example. This is a bit that I br- ... I bounced around. I was thinking about in the car and then I brought it onto stage in a completed form and it never really changed.

   10. TPTom Papa45:33

       Uh-huh.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:34

       It was a bit about, uh, Bigfoot.

   12. TPTom Papa45:36

       Right.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:36

       I said, "Here's (laughs) what you don't find-"

   14. TPTom Papa45:39

       (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:39

       "... when you go looking for Bigfoot-"

   16. TPTom Papa45:40

       Yeah.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:41

       "... black people."

   18. TPTom Papa45:41

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:42

       Like, you're more likely to find Bigfoot than you are black people looking for Bigfoot.

   20. TPTom Papa45:47

       (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       You just find hordes of unfuckable white dudes out camping. That's what you find. (laughs)

   22. TPTom Papa45:53

       Right. (laughs) Yeah, that's fun.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:54

       But that's ... But that's who goes looking for Bigfoot. You're not ... You don't find ... It's not a-

   24. TPTom Papa45:59

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       ... African American pastime.

   26. TPTom Papa46:01

       (laughs) Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       And that, that bit came out in the car.

   28. TPTom Papa46:04

       Yeah.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:04

       I made myself laugh-

   30. TPTom Papa46:06

       (laughs)
5. 1:00:00 – 1:10:02

   Mm-hmm. …

   1. TPTom Papa1:00:00

      such a great tell for people.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:02

      Mm-hmm.

   3. TPTom Papa1:00:02

      I was gonna work with this guy and I was like ... And I asked my other friend, I said, "Do, do you know him? Like, is he ..." This is just a- he's a director. I was like, "Do you know this guy?" And, uh, she's like, "Um, well, I don't wanna say anything." I'm like, "What?" She goes, "Just look at his Instagram." I was like, "Oh, what an-"

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

      Mm.

   5. TPTom Papa1:00:19

      "... what an old man thing that I didn't think to do then."

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

      Mm.

   7. TPTom Papa1:00:22

      So I just go on the Instagram and you're like, "Oh." (laughs) Oh. They're a r- train wreck.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

      Ah.

   9. TPTom Papa1:00:27

      A train wreck. Just seeing them posting all their-... insanity.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

       Is- inspirational stuff?

   11. TPTom Papa1:00:31

       No, this was just pure bad chick-

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:34

       Teach you how to-

   13. TPTom Papa1:00:34

       ... partying, you know...

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       How to be the fully actualized person.

   15. TPTom Papa1:00:37

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:38

       Changes everything.

   17. TPTom Papa1:00:38

       I don't mean to shit on Kevin, by the way. I mean, Kevin is, he, he's one of those guys that gets shit done. Like, he's-

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:44

       Who's Kevin?

   19. TPTom Papa1:00:45

       Kevin Hart. When I was saying-

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:46

       Oh.

   21. TPTom Papa1:00:46

       ... like, Kevin Hart's thing.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

       No, he's, he legitimately gets things done and also legitimately gets a thrill outta helping people get motivated.

   23. TPTom Papa1:00:54

       Exactly.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:55

       He does runs where he brings hundreds of people out running with him.

   25. TPTom Papa1:00:58

       (laughs) He's insane.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       Yeah. He'll do, like, a 5K and everybody, "Y'all show up! Show up!"

   27. TPTom Papa1:01:01

       (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:01

       "We're running!"

   29. TPTom Papa1:01:02

       I know.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:02

       "We're running!" And everybody will run with Kevin Hart.

Episode duration: 3:05:21