Joe Rogan Experience #1082 - Greg Fitzsimmons

Joe Rogan 0:00 (singing) Another episode of the Richard Jeni Fan Club. He's, he's a guy that I've been telling forever is probably the most underrated stand-up in the history of stand-up. I think he's, like, one of the all-time greats.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:14 And he's got a body of work because he did a one-hour... Back before everybody was doing one-hour specials every year, he was doing that shit back in the, the '90s.

Joe Rogan 0:21 Oh, yeah. On Showtime-

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:23 Showtime, every year.

Joe Rogan 0:24 ... he had a Showtime one. Like, when I was just starting out, so I think it was like '89 or '90, somewhere around the... He had a Showtime special.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:33 And then he had a bu-

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:35 Platypus Man.

Joe Rogan 0:36 Yup, he had a bunch of HBO specials, but the last one that he did before he died in 2007, that is his masterpiece.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:43 Really?

Joe Rogan 0:44 Yeah, it's called A Steaming Pile of Me. And I was listening to it one night coming home from a club and just laughing out la- loud in the car and clapping, (clapping) clapping in the car.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:55 Like, goddamn, this guy was good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:57 Yeah, what a pro.

Joe Rogan 0:58 He was so good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 0:59 I mean, he was one of those guys that dressed... He put on a sharp outfit-

Joe Rogan 1:03 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04 ... with pleated pants. You know, really fucking corny, like, '90s looking-

Joe Rogan 1:08 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08 ... you know, coll- the collar with no... You know, the, the rounded priest collar shirts.

Joe Rogan 1:12 Well, he was from Bensonhurst.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:14 Oh, is that right?

Joe Rogan 1:15 Yeah, yeah. It's th- that old school-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:16 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17 ... ginny mentality-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:18 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 1:18 ... from Brooklyn. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:20 Yeah. And he would, uh, he would give you li- I can remember, like, at least three times he would call me an hour after my set and give me taglines to bits.

Joe Rogan 1:30 Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:31 Yeah, and they were fucking good.

Joe Rogan 1:33 He was almost, like, on the spectrum with that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:35 Yeah, totally. He wouldn't look you in the eye. He'd be, like, looking down, and he'd go really fast and talk with his hands.

Joe Rogan 1:42 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:43 And, uh, and he... I think he... Obviously, if people don't know Richard Jeni, sadly he committed suicide in the end, and what was tough for him was that he was that good and he never really broke through. He had a sitcom, short-lived sitcom called Platypus Man that was on, like, one of those-

Joe Rogan 2:01 UPN I believe it was.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:02 ... UPN channels, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:03 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:04 And after that, it was like... He was the guy who used to fill up his book in January, you know.

Joe Rogan 2:09 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:09 He was, he was on the road 45 weeks a year and, you know, making, you know, $100,000 on corporate dates, $50,000 on corporate dates-

Joe Rogan 2:17 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:18 ... with, you know, 15 of those a year.

Joe Rogan 2:20 Yeah, I'm sure he was living well, but he didn't enjoy it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:22 But he felt like a failure.

Joe Rogan 2:23 Yeah. And to us, he was a hero.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:27 Like, I remember seeing him in East Side Comedy Club in New York and, um, it was me and Joey Cola and, uh, a couple other guys. Uh, I only saw one set, but, um... God, I forget who the host was. But the host said he did a different hour all four shows.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:45 No shit.

Joe Rogan 2:46 And I went, "What?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:47 Wow.

Joe Rogan 2:47 I was so humbled because I was like, "I don't even have..." I had 20 minutes back then.

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:52 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:52 I was like, "What?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:53 "How did he do that? How can he do that?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:55 Right.

Joe Rogan 2:56 And they were like, "He's the best."

Greg Fitzsimmons 2:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:58 But it was a weird thing. It's like he came along before Netflix, 'cause if he was around today and people got to see his Netflix special-

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:07 ... it's just one of those things that would have caught on.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 3:09 But in the HBO specials you were either home when it aired or you weren't.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:14 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:14 You know, there was no DVRs back then.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:17 Maybe, maybe you set up the VHS tape to record.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:20 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:21 Maybe.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:22 I could never figure out how to fucking get that thing to record when I wasn't there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:26 Oh, no, I couldn't do it either.

Joe Rogan 3:27 The timer. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:27 No, the timer, you'd, you'd end up recording, like, Days of our Lives or something.

Joe Rogan 3:32 Yeah, fucking Golden Girls.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:34 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:34 Bunch of old twats being written. It was a bunch of old women and the scripts were written by old Jewish guys.

Joe Rogan 3:41 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:41 You know?

Joe Rogan 3:42 I just-

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:42 All menopause jokes.

Joe Rogan 3:44 He's one of the saddest cases to me because I just don't think that... I don't know, like, how many friends he had, like, in comedy. I know he's really good friends with Chris Rock.

Greg Fitzsimmons 3:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:53 And he worked with Chris a lot. Like, he was, like, a punch-up guy for Chris a lot. But I don't, I don't... You know, I don't know if anybody was there to just be his... I think that's a big thing for us because we're so... Like, I think comics are some of the weirdest fucking people-

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:09 ... but I gravitate towards them. Like I've always said, if I run into a comic at the airport I'm like, "Oh, look."

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:16 "It's one of us."

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:17 You know? Just we're weird.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:19 It's a weird job, we're weird people, we're all crazy. I've never met one of us that isn't crazy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:25 And I think sometimes we need each other to go, "Yeah, it's all right."

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 4:29 "You're all right. Everybody loves you, man." Like...

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:31 Yeah, going to The Comedy Store for me is definitely like a therapy session.

Joe Rogan 4:35 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:35 I feel... And it's... Partly it's that you're performing and you're getting the positive feedback, and part of it is that you're running into people. And I mean, it could be anybody. It could be, uh, an Asian female comic, it could be a f- It could be Don Barris. Like-

Joe Rogan 4:50 Yep.

Greg Fitzsimmons 4:50 ... the spectrum of different types. But like you said, there's something that... There's a thread that runs through all of it, which is like this, this feeling that... Like MMA, we're gonna get in the ring. We are, we are going to face an audience at some point that night, and there's a charge to that. Like, there's a fear. I don't care who the fuck you are. You can deny you're afraid when you go on stage, every... But it's in there somewhere, we've just gotten so good at dealing with it that it doesn't show and sometimes we're not even aware of it.

Joe Rogan 5:19 And if it's not there, that means you're probably not taking any chances.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:23 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 5:23 That's not good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:24 'Cause then you'll have that dull thing going on stage, and then you'll bomb, and then you'll really have fear-

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:29 ... when you're doing jokes that you think are killer-

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:31 ... and they're just eating plates of shit up there-

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:33 ... because you don't have anything left in you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:35 Like last night, it was just murderers row, man. I'm walking in and fucking Bobby Lee's crushing, and then Chris D'Elia is crushing. And then I go up and Theo Von's crushing, and then it's fucking Ian Edwards smashing after. That's like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:50 Good lord, what a lineup.

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:51 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 5:52 And you're hugging everybody. I'm hugging-

Greg Fitzsimmons 5:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 5:54 ... Dom Barris, I see him. I hug Whitney Cummings, I see her. Everybody is just like... It's just this big camaraderie place.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:02 Yes, yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:02 We're so lucky.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:04 ... yet we survived. You know, they, and there's so many guys that I came up... You know, we came up with guys that I, I would have... I was competitive when I started out and there were these guys I had bad blood with. And I see those guys now and they're like my brothers-

Joe Rogan 6:17 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:17 ... because we went through it together.

Joe Rogan 6:19 Yeah. I know. The, the competitive thing, I've talked about that a lot, like, I had to give that up. I had that when I was a kid, when I was, like, 21-ish, uh, 'cause it was still leftover from the martial arts days-

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:30 ... like, martial arts competition. Then I, like, I would want people to do bad and then I realized, like, that is so stupid.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:37 Like, that has n- zero effect on me. Like, when they're up there, if they're doing good that'll just make me better. It'll just make me work harder.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:45 But if they do bad, like, I want... Like, that's the thing some comedians do. They will take a terrible comic on the road with them so they can look like a hero.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 6:53 It's a, a common thing, right? They... It's called stacking the deck.

Greg Fitzsimmons 6:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:56 Like, they'll stack the deck. They'll have, like, just some tortuous act for a half an hour and then they go up and look like a monster.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:03 And that's not the way to do it, I don't think.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:06 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 7:06 I think the way to do it is the opposite. Just have a bunch of murderers on in front of you and have fun with it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:10 And everybody have fun.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:12 Yeah. I, I think that you, y- y-... I love... I mean, there's... I don't like going on after D'Elia. There's, like, o- one or two guys that I just don't like going on after and, uh, b- but in general-

Joe Rogan 7:27 Why don't you like going on after D'Elia?

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:29 I just feel like he's so physical and big.

Joe Rogan 7:32 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:33 And that doesn't really... It shouldn't affect me but I just feel like when he gets off the crowd is just, like, in this mode of, like, euphoria.

Joe Rogan 7:43 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:43 And it's kinda like, all right, I'm gonna t-

Joe Rogan 7:45 (coughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:45 ... I'm gonna take it down a couple notches-

Joe Rogan 7:47 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:47 ... and just talk and I feel like sometimes that's my weakness that I can't adjust to that. Like Joey Diaz, same thing.

Joe Rogan 7:54 Oh, damn. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:54 It's just like the room is just... They gotta put their socks back on.

Joe Rogan 7:59 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 7:59 And you're up there and I'm, and I'm writing dry shit. I'm trying to be-

Joe Rogan 8:03 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:03 ... a little ironic and they're just looking at me like, "You're small."

Joe Rogan 8:08 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:08 "You're insignificant." You're... You know, and all your insecurities start coming out sometimes.

Joe Rogan 8:13 (inhales deeply) It's like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:13 And it's... And I've beaten that. Like, you, you come up in New York and you can't be like that 'cause you're going on after Attell and Louis and whoever. And so I came to terms with, with trying to... Realizing that you don't ride the wave. You let the wave settle and you start your own wave.

Joe Rogan 8:28 Mm. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:30 And, and I would make that mistake early on is I'd come up and then I'd jack up my energy and I... And it wasn't me and then it would falter.

Joe Rogan 8:36 Yeah. That is, that is true. You have to bring the audience to you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:41 Yeah. And the one... The, the best place to learn how to do that is the OR.

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:45 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:45 You know? Because, first of all, you really... You only have 15 minutes and there's all these other guys that have 15 minutes too and they, they go on these rides. So everybody's going on a new ride. Like, "Okay-"

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:55 "... we just got done with Magic Mountain-"

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:56 "... or Space Mountain. Now we're gonna go on this ride."

Greg Fitzsimmons 8:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:59 "It's A Small World. Oh, Small World slower."

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:01 "Settle down. It's not as crazy. Where are all the lights?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:04 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 9:05 It's like, you, you gotta settle in.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:06 Yeah. It's a great fucking place for just, just figuring it out.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:12 Like, working on your shit. I'm in this weird place right now with my act where I'm getting ready to film a special.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:18 How are you?

Joe Rogan 9:18 So I'm f- s- hyper examining-

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:21 ... everything. Going over everything with a fine tooth comb. But the problem with that is you go over everything too much and then it starts getting real blurry.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:28 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:29 Like, "What am I looking at?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:30 "What is this?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:31 You know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:32 And you start landing... I find that I start landing on the punchlines too hard.

Joe Rogan 9:37 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:37 Instead of talking it out, instead of, like, being s- ... Like, the more I do it, the more I know, "All right, this is where they laugh," and I sort of-

Joe Rogan 9:44 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:45 ... and there's sort of, like, y- I stick it too much instead of flowing.

Joe Rogan 9:48 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 9:49 And so when I... When you do the special it's almost like a... You gotta take, take a little time off before you do it.

Joe Rogan 9:55 Yeah, there's a number of sets you do where you're, you're in the groove and it's tight and everything feels good, and then there's a number that you do too much and everything gets kinda flat.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:07 You gotta find that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:08 Like, what is that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 10:09 You know? Wonder if they have that in other things? Like, if that's... It must be the case with bands, right? When they tour. They must get so sick of fucking singing the same song over and over and over and over again.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:18 I mean, I saw The Beach Boys recently and, uh, they fucking love it.

Joe Rogan 10:23 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:23 They love being up there. You know, you can see it and you can feel it. You know, I think it goes to another level. I think there becomes a communication with the fans.

Joe Rogan 10:31 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:31 With bands that we don't necessarily have the same thing.

Joe Rogan 10:33 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:34 It's like for them it is a very communal experience that's happening and with us it's more like we're gonna dominate you for an hour.

Joe Rogan 10:42 Right, right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 10:42 We're gonna take control of this room. You're gonna listen to everything we say. We're gonna bring you up, take you down, insult you, bring you back in. You know, crowd work. There's like a whole thing but it's all being orchestrated by you.

Joe Rogan 10:55 Yeah. Yeah, another thing we were talking about about traveling to places. Like, that the further you go, the harder it is to get there, the more happy they are to see you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:04 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 11:06 That's a, that's an interesting phenomenon. Like, if you could do... Like, I was just saying that Ari and I did a gig in Anchorage, Alaska a few years back. It was fucking amazing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:15 You get up there in this weird town, you know, and the coolest fucking people. You ever been to Anchorage?

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:21 No.

Joe Rogan 11:21 Dude. It's crazy. We got up there and, uh, I'm expecting I wanna see people covered in fur and everything's gonna be covered in snow and they're gonna be-

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:30 ... riding dog sleds everywhere and shit. No. They were so normal. I drove by this group of people holding up signs that said, "Honk for diversity."

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:39 Oh, no shit.

Joe Rogan 11:39 Yeah. Like, they're holding rainbow flags up and shit and-

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:42 Do they have diversity?

Joe Rogan 11:43 Yeah. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:45 No shit.

Joe Rogan 11:45 Yeah. Yeah, it's... I mean, it's a real city. I mean, it's small.

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:50 How many people do you think live in Anchorage? If you had to guess.

Greg Fitzsimmons 11:54 20,000?

Joe Rogan 11:57 I'm gonna go with 50.

Narrator 12:00 50 people?

Joe Rogan 12:01 Yeah. No, 50,000.

Narrator 12:02 300,000.

Joe Rogan 12:03 300,000.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:03 No shit.

Joe Rogan 12:04 Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:05 Wow.

Joe Rogan 12:05 Holy shit, that's huge.

Narrator 12:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:06 That's three times the size of Boulder. That's really big.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:10 ... I was in Juneau. (car drives by) I remember I was in Juneau and there was a Burger King. And I was like, "What the fuck is a Burger King doing in the middle of Alaska?" And then there were bald eagles going through the dumpster and picking at fucking Big Macs. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:25 So weird.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:25 I was like, "Here's a symbol of America right here." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:29 That's the first time I've ever seen an eagle live-

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:31 ... was in Alaska. That's a weird animal to look at.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:34 I know.

Joe Rogan 12:34 It's a weird animal to pick for your bird too. Like, it's our national animal.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:39 Ruthless fucking evil raptor.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:42 Yeah. That comes out of the sky outta nowhere-

Joe Rogan 12:44 Ooh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:44 ... and kills.

Joe Rogan 12:46 Ugh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:49 You know, they say that there was a, uh, an eagle at one point in time that they think was preying on early humans.

Greg Fitzsimmons 12:55 No shit?

Joe Rogan 12:56 Yeah. They think that there's been some giant raptors in the past, and they found some old primate bones, some old ancient, you know, ancestors of human beings that had, uh, what looked like claw marks on their skulls-

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:08 ... where their brains had been picked out of their skull and clawed out.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:13 There was an eagle like that in N- New Zealand. It was called the Haast eagle. It was an enormous eagle in New Zealand, like way bigger than any of the eagles that we have alive today.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:21 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 13:21 And they think it might've jacked a few people.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:23 Wow. Well, Colorado, I'm sure when you lived out there, people, you can't leave your dog outside.

Joe Rogan 13:28 No. Like my dog got eaten there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:30 Oh, no shit.

Joe Rogan 13:31 Yeah. I had a bit about it in my act.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:33 No shit.

Joe Rogan 13:34 Yeah. My littlest dog.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:36 What kind of dog was it?

Joe Rogan 13:37 He was, um, a Pomeranian American Eskimo mix.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:42 That's a decent-sized dog, right?

Joe Rogan 13:44 No, he was real little.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:45 Oh.

Joe Rogan 13:45 He was like this big.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:46 He was like maybe 30 pounds. Tiny little guy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 13:50 He got jacked.

Greg Fitzsimmons 13:51 Did you see him get jacked?

Joe Rogan 13:52 No, but we saw the cat hanging around the property. We saw the cat in the area. And then there was, there was definitely evidence that something had gone down.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:03 (smacks lips) Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:04 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 14:05 Yeah. It happens all the time.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:06 One of the things they found in California is because California has a lot of mountain lions that live on the outskirts of cities, they purposely hang around the outskirts of cities and come into town at night and eat people's dogs and cats. And they found that when they examined the contents, they expected it to be way more like rabbits and deer and shit like that. But it was half domestic house cats and dogs.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:31 Half of their diet.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:31 Well, 'cause they're easy.

Joe Rogan 14:33 Yeah. Easy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:33 They're the fatted calf.

Joe Rogan 14:35 Well, also, they can just jump over everything.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 14:37 I mean, any fence you have, they're whoop over it, grab your dog. And they're so powerful they could take your dog over the top of the fence.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:43 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 14:44 Fucking nuts.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:45 Shit.

Joe Rogan 14:46 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:47 I came home one day and there was a possum in the driveway, and the cro ... You know, fucking ... Are they ravens or crows in LA, those giant black birds?

Joe Rogan 14:56 That's a good question. I don't know what the difference is.

Greg Fitzsimmons 14:57 'Cause I said they were crows and my friend's like, "No, those are ravens." And, uh, they're f- they're big. I mean, they're a good two feet long.

Joe Rogan 15:04 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:05 And it was on top of a possum and it was fucking picking it apart. And the thing was alive. The possum was alive.

Joe Rogan 15:11 What?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:12 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:13 And so I, uh, so I tried to scare this, this, uh, black bird away, and he looked at me like, "I'm not going anywhere. I got a fucking possum here."

Joe Rogan 15:21 Whoa.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:21 And so I got a broom and I like pushed him away.

Joe Rogan 15:24 You hit him?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:24 And he took off. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:25 He let you get that close?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:26 You could touch him?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:27 Oh yeah. He wasn't leaving the possum.

Joe Rogan 15:28 Whoa.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:29 And then he, uh, he stood like 12 feet away and I got a shoe box and I put the possum in it. But the, the possums, they hiss at you. They open their mouths and they just go like, "Hiss." And they got vicious teeth, you gotta be really careful with them. But I got it in the shoe box and I called Animal Services and they came and got it.

Joe Rogan 15:47 Look at you out there saving possums.

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:48 That's right. I love possums.

Joe Rogan 15:50 Do you?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:50 You got a thing for them?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:51 Yeah, they're cute as shit. I love them. And they're just so mysterious. You know, they come out at night and they-

Joe Rogan 15:57 Yeah, like where are they hiding in the day?

Greg Fitzsimmons 15:59 One of them used to sleep in ... I had some shrubs on the side of my lawn and he was ... You could s- ... If you looked inside, you could see him hanging upside down.

Joe Rogan 16:06 Whoa.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:07 Oh, that's right. They hang.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 16:09 What a fucked up animal.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:11 I know.

Joe Rogan 16:11 Have you ever seen a coatimundi?

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:13 Never even heard of it.

Joe Rogan 16:15 A coatimundi is, uh, an animal that's in South America. And a friend of mine was telling me he ran into one, or I was listening to his podcast rather, he ran into one of them in, uh, Arizona and that it looks like a bear fucked a monkey. It looks like half bear, half monkey. Look at that thing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:32 No shit. Look at that.

Joe Rogan 16:33 How cool is that thing?

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:35 And it's a climber.

Joe Rogan 16:36 Yeah, dude. Well, they're big. They're like 40 pounds.

Greg Fitzsimmons 16:40 Wow.

Joe Rogan 16:40 And they're predatory. And he was making noises. Uh, he was deer hunting and this thing, uh, came running out of the woods. He was, uh, trying to call it by making like wounded animal sounds like ... And this thing went ... It came running out of the, out of the grass, looking at him.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:00 Wow.

Joe Rogan 17:00 Look at that thing. Look at its fucking teeth.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:02 Whoa.

Joe Rogan 17:02 What a crazy little animal.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:03 It's like a wolverine.

Joe Rogan 17:04 I didn't even know that existed. I had no idea that thing existed. I mean, it does look like it's a member of the badger family in-

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:11 ... when you look at its face, but then it has a tail, like a big crazy long tail.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:16 But the teeth look like, uh, like orangutan teeth the way they curve in like sharp.

Joe Rogan 17:22 (laughs) I didn't even know that was a real thing. Apparently it's ... There's a lot of them in South America, and then in the United States they, uh, are expanding their range in Arizona.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:33 Wow.

Joe Rogan 17:33 Yeah. The way you spell it is C-O-A-T-I-M-U-N-D-I, coatimundi.

Greg Fitzsimmons 17:40 Isn't that a Spanish-speaking channel?

Narrator 17:41 It was actually coming up like that. Coatimundi.

Joe Rogan 17:44 Oh, interesting.

Narrator 17:45 Yeah, with a K.

Joe Rogan 17:46 Hmm, but people spell it with a C in America.

Narrator 17:50 Yeah, I went with your phonetic spelling. I typed it in actually with a Q and this is what came up was the K-U-A-D-A.

Joe Rogan 17:55 Hmm, interesting.

Narrator 17:55 K-U-A-D-A.

Joe Rogan 17:56 Um, I think ... What it ... Well, how is it spelled in that other one if you scrolled down, that one that we just looked at.

Narrator 18:01 Coa- coat like a jacket.

Joe Rogan 18:02 C- I, I think you spell it with a C. Yeah, I think that's how you spell it. C-O-A. Yeah. Whatever. It's awesome. And, uh, people apparently ... The, uh, game and fish department in Arizona, they get calls all the time where people are like, "There's a monkey running around in the woods. I saw a monkey."

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:19 But it's that thing, that coatimundi.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:20 If that's Arizona, that could just be a racist calling.

Joe Rogan 18:24 Arizona's this weird place.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:26 Arizona is, uh, incredibly, um, interesting in its climate, right? Like, you've got desert and then you have, like, some of the, uh, the craziest forest. You have all kinds of weird shit. They had, like, they, uh, incredibly diverse wildlife population in Arizona.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:42 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 18:43 Big-

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:43 Big-ass birds.

Joe Rogan 18:44 Big-ass birds, and deer and elk and all kinds of weird shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:48 Crazy mountain rising.

Joe Rogan 18:49 Jaguars.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:49 Like, you're in the middle of Phoenix and you got those fucking giant cliffs-

Joe Rogan 18:52 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 18:53 ... sticking right up in the middle of the city. Great hiking. I did that one time.

Joe Rogan 18:56 They are, they have an influx of jaguars now. Oh, there's a coatimundi. Moving into-

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:00 Jaguars?

Joe Rogan 19:01 Yes. They're may, moving in from, uh, Mexico. Look at that fucker.

Narrator 19:04 This thing says they make good pets too, apparently.

Joe Rogan 19:06 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:07 No!

Narrator 19:07 Yeah. Says you can train him.

Joe Rogan 19:09 Whoa.

Narrator 19:10 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:10 Pull those fucking teeth out first.

Joe Rogan 19:12 (laughs) I'm pretty sure we saw one of those in Costa Rica, and my daughters were calling it a kinkajou. They made up a name for it. But he was just hanging out near, um, this resort in Costa Rica.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:26 Look at these little fuckers, just chilling. Aw.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:29 Oh, they get long tongues.

Joe Rogan 19:30 So cute.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:30 Oh, they're anteaters too, I bet.

Joe Rogan 19:32 I bet they fucking eat everything.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:34 I mean, it's hard out there. Look at him. Just humping up there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:39 No fucking way.

Joe Rogan 19:39 Oh, my God. The guy's petting it. That is crazy. These are wild ... Oh, okay, that's a resort.

Narrator 19:44 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 19:44 See, that's kind of like what I experienced in Costa Rica. These things would just, uh, come by and hang out. What a cool looking fucking animal.

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:53 Look at that guy's belly.

Joe Rogan 19:56 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 19:56 The nachos in front of him.

Joe Rogan 19:59 Yeah. South America, it's, it's crazy how, m- like, if you've gone to South A- have you ever gone to South America?

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:06 No. Oh, yeah. Chile.

Joe Rogan 20:08 The wildlife there is just incredible.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:10 Costa Rica has all these different kinds of monkeys.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:12 I know, we went to Costa Rica.

Joe Rogan 20:13 They have howler monkeys-

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:16 ... and those, uh, other little smaller monkeys.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:17 Yeah. We had howler monkeys, right. It, there was like a one ... 'Cause it's the rainforest.

Joe Rogan 20:21 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:21 And we had a one-mile, like, path that went around the house that we were renting, and you had these howler monkeys, would go right above you.

Joe Rogan 20:28 Yeah, and scream. (screams)

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:29 No fear.

Joe Rogan 20:30 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:31 There was fucking dogs everywhere. We had like two dogs that just were ... They must've come with the house. They were just there. And you feed them and they follow you everywhere.

Joe Rogan 20:39 Oh, wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:39 And then you drive up and there's, uh, the Black River, I think it's called, and it's right on the border of, um, Nicaragua. And, uh, they've got those caimans. You know those little alligators?

Joe Rogan 20:50 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:50 And you take a boat through these, like, waterways. And I mean, it is filthy with caiman. They're fucking everywhere.

Joe Rogan 20:57 Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 20:58 It was so scary. We were, we were just like paddling through them.

Joe Rogan 21:02 They have real crocodiles in, uh, Costa Rica. They have those big-ass crocodiles. We went on-

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:07 Oh, do they?

Joe Rogan 21:08 Yeah. We went on a tour, and they take you on a boat and they take you, like, pretty close to these things. But I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm like, "If one of my kids falls overboard, they're dead."

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:15 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 21:16 And you're just on this little boat, you know. And these, these people are so relaxed about, like, safety and shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:22 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 21:22 This is so not Disneyland. You know, it's so not America.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:24 What part of Costa Rica did you go to? Did you go to the middle part, like Lake Arenal with the volcano?

Joe Rogan 21:29 I don't ... We went to a couple different spots.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:30 Okay.

Joe Rogan 21:31 But we went up to the rainforest and did the zip line.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:33 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:34 Which is a mile long.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:35 Yep. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:36 And I'm like, "Who the fuck is checking this?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:38 "Who's making sure that this is, the, the stability of this line is intact?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:41 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 21:43 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 21:43 Yeah. And they had this, uh, they have this volcano that's in, um ... I forget the ... Well, it's Lake, Lake Arenal is the area, and they've got these, uh, this hot springs. And there was like 14 pools that went up a hill, and you could, you could swim in each one. And the bottom was, like, cold, and the top one was so hot it was practically boiling.

Joe Rogan 22:04 Whoa.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:04 So you could just kind of work your way up into each one. And then, uh, and then this, uh, you know, this woman comes up to me and she goes, "You want a massage?" And I was like, "Yeah." So we go out to this little, like, uh, it's, it's o- off to the side and there's like a little ... There's sheets around a bed and, and I'm laying there, and I'm like, "This is fucking great." You know? And then all of a sudden, I hear my mother's voice, and she had gotten solicited and she was getting a massage like six inches from me. And I'm stark naked, getting rubbed by this beautiful Costa Rican woman, and I can hear my mother, who doesn't stop talking for the entire massage.

Joe Rogan 22:40 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:40 With her thick Bronx accent. "So how long you been here for?"

Joe Rogan 22:44 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:45 "You from here?"

Joe Rogan 22:47 Uh. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:49 That's a relaxation crusher.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:51 Yes.

Joe Rogan 22:52 You just wanna just melt into the rainforest-

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:54 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 22:55 ... and just get rubbed on. Uh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 22:57 Just look down through that little horseshoe with your face in it and look at those little Costa Rican feet.

Joe Rogan 23:03 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:04 Those brown, rounded little toes.

Joe Rogan 23:06 Ew, you and the feet thing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:08 Oh, that's so weird. Massages are fucking weird, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:13 It's weird. I mean, it's obviously ... There's, there's a physical aspect to it, like you want your muscles to be manipulated because it's very good for them, and you get loose some kinks and a lot of, like, weird stuff that's knotted up. But there's also the pleasure aspect of it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:29 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 23:29 You know? It's pleasurable.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:31 Right.

Joe Rogan 23:31 Like, it feels good to have someone touch you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:34 Oh, my God. I mean, your skin is your biggest organ.

Joe Rogan 23:37 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:37 And they, they talk about emotionally and psychically what it means to have skin-to-skin contact. And for an hour, somebody is devoting their skin to your skin.

Joe Rogan 23:47 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:47 I mean, think about it. You have sex with your wife. You're touching for, you know, 15, 20 minutes, one part of you, little groping, you cry.

Joe Rogan 23:56 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 23:56 But to have a sensual touch like that ...

Joe Rogan 23:59 Yeah. For an hour.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:02 And also, like, uh, the energy that you must get. Like, when you're a person who's doing that all day, like, you're putting out a lot of energy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:11 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 24:11 And you're getting energy from those people.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:14 Like, some people must feel weird.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:16 Yeah. I've talking ... I've talked to masseuse who say that they have to, uh, discharge energy after a massage. They do ... And these are more like touchy-feely kinda masseuses.

Joe Rogan 24:25 Freezes. Crazy crystal people.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:27 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:28 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:28 That one that she, she would put crystals in my belly button.

Joe Rogan 24:31 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:32 And then my arm would be down, and she would hold my arm and tell me to raise my arm-

Joe Rogan 24:36 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:36 ... to see what the pressure was. And then she could tell by that which herbal remedies I needed for my allergies.

Joe Rogan 24:43 Oh, Christ.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:45 Jesus Christ. There's so many of these people out there-

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:48 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:49 ... they're just so fucking crazy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:51 Right. And then it works, and you're like, "What the fuck?"

Joe Rogan 24:54 It worked?

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:56 I, I guess you can believe anything.

Joe Rogan 24:57 How did it work?

Greg Fitzsimmons 24:59 I, she gave me allergies, it's, uh, these herbs because I was, like, just fucking sneezing nonstop, and I stopped sneezing.

Joe Rogan 25:06 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:07 And you know what that, that, um, that, what do you, homeopath.

Joe Rogan 25:11 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:11 They take, like, a barrel of distilled water and then they'll put in, like, a mint leaf and, like, a couple other herbs, and then they just take the bottle and they fill it with that water. And that's, that's homeopathic remedy. Most of them are like that, di- that diluted.

Joe Rogan 25:28 Yeah, a lot of it's bullshit. Like, I remember somebody gave me arnica once.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:32 What's that?

Joe Rogan 25:33 It's like some little, little pills. They're little tiny, tiny little ... almost, like, little things that dissolve in your mouth.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:41 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 25:41 They taste like sugar.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 25:43 I go, "This is sugar."

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:44 And someone was like, "No, there's sugar in it." I go, "Well, why is there sugar in it? It's supposed to be medicine."

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:49 Sugar's not good for you. What the fuck is this?

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:52 Uh, and it was homeopathic. It was some sort of-

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:54 ... homeopathic remedy. I'm like, "Okay, do I have to believe this stuff works for it to work?" Is it one of those things?

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 25:58 'Cause that's a real thing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 25:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:00 You know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:01 Well, what do you say to people who, uh, don't think that vitamins are helpful?

Joe Rogan 26:05 Well, that's silly. There's a lot of studies that show that vitamins are healthy, and we under-

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:08 But there's a lot of studies that say they're not.

Joe Rogan 26:10 (coughs) Eh, not really. I mean, uh, too much vitamins was, excessive vitamins-

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 26:15 ... doesn't make any sense. But the studies that show that vitamins are beneficial, they're pretty specific. They're s- pretty specific in terms of, like, if you get your blood work done, right, for instance, (sniffs) and you are short ... A lot of people are short of vitamin D. Vitamin D is a big one. Vitamin B is also a big one. B, B12.

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:34 Which is the one you get from the sun.

Joe Rogan 26:36 That's D.

Greg Fitzsimmons 26:37 That's D, right?

Joe Rogan 26:37 D3 is a good one too, and that, that one's good for muscle development and a lot of other functions. There's a lot of shit that vitamins are good for. Fish oil is fantastic. It's very good for reducing inflammation. There's a lot of supplements that are 100% legit. But there's a lot of doctors that don't know anything about nutrition that'll tell you, "All you need is a balanced meal."

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:00 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:01 "All you need is a balanced meal." Well, if you had a balanced meal, kind of, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:05 If you really made sure that you ate a certain portion of vegetables, green leafy, dark vegetables that have a lot of vitamins, and, and if you made sure that you have the, the right amount of protein and-

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:14 Fruit.

Joe Rogan 27:15 Yeah. Fruit. Some, some fruit. You don't have too many fruits-

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:17 You're not a big, you're not a proponent of eating too much fruit, right? Didn't you tell me, like, uh-

Joe Rogan 27:21 It's a lot of sugar in it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:22 ... like, juices, most juices are too high in sugar?

Joe Rogan 27:24 Yeah. If you drink a big glass of orange juice, your body has a really hard time differentiating that between a big glass of soda or-

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 27:33 ... fucking High C or some shit like that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:35 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:35 It's like, if it has 30 grams of sugar, it has 30 grams of sugar.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:38 I mean, that's what it is. It's 30 grams of sugar.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:41 The fact that it's coming out of an orange, that's great, but you're not supposed to drink it like that. An orange is supposed to be something you eat.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:47 Like, and when you eat it, you get all the fiber, your body breaks it down slower. You're just getting this fucking mainline of sugar right into your system.

Greg Fitzsimmons 27:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:55 I drink a glass of orange ... Like, if I go and I have breakfast with a big glass of orange juice, I fucking crash hard, like, an hour later.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:01 It's a big old insulin dump.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:03 Well, they just did a s- I just read yesterday that there's a study now that losing weight is not about caloric intake. It's all about sugar and processed foods.

Joe Rogan 28:13 Mm. Crazy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:15 Isn't that crazy?

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:15 And they say the amounts don't matter. You can, you can eat way more than you think you can as long as you're eating the right shit.

Joe Rogan 28:20 Well, Weight Watchers have, have completely changed the way they, um, recommend food. Like, eggs are zero points now.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:28 Oh, no shit.

Joe Rogan 28:28 And Joey, Joey Diaz and Brian Redband ... Brian Redband's on it too. He was telling me that eggs are zero points.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:33 Wow.

Joe Rogan 28:33 Zero. You can eat as many eggs as you want. You can eat five eggs.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:37 People used to say, "Well, eggs, the cholesterol and, well, it's terrible for you. Fa- fats and all this..." Nope.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:43 Nope.

Joe Rogan 28:44 It's fucking great for you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:45 Sorry, we lied.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:47 Forever. I was fucking reading to my kids a little while back, and we had a Dr. Seuss book and it had the food pyramid. And I go, "This food pyramid's bullshit." Like, what is this? It's all fucking, the bottom of it is all cereal.

Greg Fitzsimmons 28:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:59 It's all, like, cereal and bread.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:01 That's right.

Joe Rogan 29:01 That's, like, the most important thing. What do you got here?

Narrator 29:03 They got all the zero point foods on the new list.

Joe Rogan 29:05 Boneless, skinless chicken breast, boneless, skinless turkey breast, ground lean chicken, ground lean turkey, thin-sliced deli chicken bre- so it's all fish and shellfish. Wow.

Narrator 29:17 Yogurt.

Joe Rogan 29:17 Does not include smoked or dried fish. Huh. Why wouldn't it include smoked fish? That seems weird. Canned fish that is packed in water or brine, i.e. canned tuna, tofu or smoked tofu. These are all, like, zero. Nonfat, plain, regular, and Greek yogurt. Nonfat ain't good for you. Nonfat anything is nonsense. Eggs, plain soy yogurt. (gags) Fresh, frozen, and canned beans and lentils that are packed without oil or sugar.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:48 (coughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:48 Beans and lentils are huge.

Joe Rogan 29:49 Yeah, if you could just eat all that stuff.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:50 Avocado's not on there. I guess it's got some fat in it.

Joe Rogan 29:53 Well, it's got healthy fats.

Greg Fitzsimmons 29:54 Right.

Joe Rogan 29:54 Yeah. Avocado's unusual because it has mostly unsaturated fats, but it has saturated fats too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:01 It's really good for you. Avocado's a fucking wonderful food. Wonderful.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:06 I'm 155 pounds.

Joe Rogan 30:08 Ooh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:09 And, but I had a fucking belly just because, uh, you know, I was riding on crashing last year, and they would have ... We would have, like, five meals a day, muffins being handed out. And I put on six pounds, and it all was in my belly.

Joe Rogan 30:22 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:23 Just breads and processed shit. And so January 1st, I cut out all bread, all pasta, all sugar, and I've been working out like five days a week-

Joe Rogan 30:31 Dude.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:31 ... and the belly just fucking disappeared.

Joe Rogan 30:33 Look at you. You seem like you got some pep in your step.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:35 A little bit.

Joe Rogan 30:36 A little bit. A little bit extra, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:37 Ritalin also helps.

Joe Rogan 30:38 Oh, that, that does it. (laughs)

Narrator 30:39 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:40 (laughs) And a lot of coffee.

Joe Rogan 30:42 Do you ever get your hormones checked?

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:43 No.

Joe Rogan 30:44 No? You probably should.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:45 See if the testosterone level's there?

Joe Rogan 30:47 Yeah. You know, that's a, a major factor in depression.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:51 ... no shit.

Joe Rogan 30:51 Major factor, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:52 Wow.

Joe Rogan 30:52 It's a major factor in people with, um, head injuries.

Greg Fitzsimmons 30:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:56 Um, people that have, uh, come back from war that have been, um, you know, like a lot of IEDs, been around a lot of explosions, been jolted a lot, um, football players, of course boxers, MMA fighters. Um-

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:08 They lose testosterone-

Joe Rogan 31:09 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:09 ... as they get older.

Joe Rogan 31:10 You get pituitary damage.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:12 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 31:12 Uh, your pituitary gland apparently is incredibly sensitive and some people get it that are jet skiers. They're into jet skiing because just the bam, bam, bam!

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:20 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 31:20 All that bouncing and headbanging-

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:22 Right.

Joe Rogan 31:22 ... headbanging is fucking terrible for you. Like if you-

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:24 My son plays soccer and he heads these-

Joe Rogan 31:26 Ooh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:26 The goalie will kick the ball all the way down the field and then I'll see him head it and I'll be like, "Dude, just-"

Joe Rogan 31:31 Don't do it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:31 "... let it fucking bounce."

Joe Rogan 31:33 Yeah. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:34 That's heavy impact.

Joe Rogan 31:35 It is and soccer players get it a lot.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:38 He got a concussion from heading against another guy once.

Joe Rogan 31:42 (sighs) Ah!

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:42 He was out for like three weeks.

Joe Rogan 31:44 Oof. They collided heads?

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:46 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:47 Oh, God.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Your fucking head is so hard, it's like running into another, like a rock, like a bone.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:55 Someone could beat you to death with the head. If they had a head on a rope.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:57 And you're whipping your head, you're whipping your head at the ball.

Joe Rogan 31:59 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 31:59 So yeah, like both slamming into each other.

Joe Rogan 32:01 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:03 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:03 I played hockey my whole life though and never had any major... Well, my neck. I chipped a vertebra in my neck. That was the only thing that happened.

Joe Rogan 32:11 How'd you do that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:12 My... I was small, but I was a good skater because I grew up near a lake, so we just skated back before global warming.

Joe Rogan 32:19 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:19 That lake froze at Christmas and it wouldn't till March. We were out there every fucking day after school, all weekend, all we did was play ice hockey. So when I got to high school, um, I was, I was the only kid who could really skate backwards well.

Joe Rogan 32:33 Ah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 32:33 So the coach was like, "You're on defense." I'm like, "I'm 115 pounds." So he taught me how to check instead of... Usually you check with your shoulder or your hip. He taught me how to check guys under the chin with the top of my head, which I, which I got good at. And then I did it one time and just click, and it, and it... I had... I got a, I got an x-ray and they're like, "Yeah, that's, that's chipped. There's nothing we can do about it." To this day, my, my tendons will get caught in my neck-

Joe Rogan 33:00 Ugh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:01 ... on a, on that chip and it, and it'll just lock up.

Joe Rogan 33:03 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:03 Like once a year it'll lock up for a couple days on me.

Joe Rogan 33:06 Like the tendons rub against that area?

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:08 I don't know if it's tendons or ligaments or whatever is right there-

Joe Rogan 33:10 Ah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:10 ... around your, uh, vertebrae.

Joe Rogan 33:13 Fucking necks, dude.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:14 Necks are terrible.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:15 That's such a terrible thing to injure.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:17 You... Are there good exercises-

Joe Rogan 33:20 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:20 ... for neck?

Joe Rogan 33:21 Yeah, I have a thing called the iron neck. Have you ever heard of it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:23 No.

Joe Rogan 33:23 Oh, it's fucking amazing. It's out there. I'll show it to you after the show. It's a halo. I put it on my head and then I pump it up with air and the air locks it in place and there's a giant bungee cord that's on the end of it. And I pull it back and the bungee cord is a 50-pound resistance, but they make it lower. They make like several different weights of bungee cords.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 33:40 You pull it back till it's like fully pulled and then (clears throat) you can adjust the resistance on the halo itself. And so you do these like, uh, as, as you got it pulled back, you turn like (imitates halo turning) .

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:51 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 33:51 And then I turn sideways and I do like 10 reps this way.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:54 Then I'll do sideways that way and then I'll turn all the way behind and face the opposite direction.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:58 Okay.

Joe Rogan 33:58 And do 10 reps that way.

Greg Fitzsimmons 33:59 Wow. That's amazing.

Joe Rogan 34:00 And then... Yeah, and then you do Stevie Wonders where you do it like this.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:02 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 34:03 And you do a bunch of different exercises.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:04 Can you imagine getting a girl to suck your dick with that thing on? Oh.

Joe Rogan 34:08 Hmm. What, she would wear it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:09 She would wear it and then you put your-

Joe Rogan 34:11 Why would that be good?

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:13 Because her hea-

Joe Rogan 34:13 The cord would be in the way. You know, you run this through-

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:16 No, you run... No, you run the cord between your legs.

Joe Rogan 34:18 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:20 (laughs) And then you put your penis in her mouth.

Joe Rogan 34:21 Your... Yeah, but your dick is gonna rub up against the cord. I don't understand why you want to do that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:25 That's the thing right there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:26 Oh, I see.

Joe Rogan 34:27 I got two of those.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:27 Right.

Joe Rogan 34:28 I bought one for my house too. I fucking love it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:30 Wow.

Joe Rogan 34:31 I love it. It's so... For jujitsu, it's so important. My neck-

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:34 I'm sure.

Joe Rogan 34:35 ... got fucked up in jujitsu-

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:36 ... where I was, um, I was getting numb hands.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:41 I had a bulging disc in my neck and I just... I think a lot of it came down to my neck just getting... Just too much abuse and not being strong enough.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:48 You know, so, so I love that thing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:51 Yeah, that's why I've never done jujitsu. I've wanted to, but I know my neck would get fucked up immediately.

Joe Rogan 34:55 Everything gets fucked up, but it's fun.

Greg Fitzsimmons 34:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:58 It's, it's awesome. It's like your body's not gonna make it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:01 It's like how much abuse do you want to give it before it breaks totally?

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:05 Right.

Joe Rogan 35:05 Uh, it's a good question.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:06 You know? I mean, Anthony Bourdain, that fucking savage. 58 years old, starts doing jujitsu.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:12 Started?

Joe Rogan 35:12 Started.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:13 No shit.

Joe Rogan 35:14 Started.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:14 Wow.

Joe Rogan 35:15 He loves it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:15 He's a badass.

Joe Rogan 35:15 He's a maniac.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:16 Has he been on the show?

Joe Rogan 35:17 Yeah, long time ago.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:18 Wow.

Joe Rogan 35:19 Yeah, he's so... We always talk about doing it again, but-

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:21 He travels so fucking much, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:24 I know.

Joe Rogan 35:24 That guy's everywhere. I mean, literally everywhere. It's, he-

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:27 I love that show. I, I...

Joe Rogan 35:28 It's great.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:28 When I'm on the road, it's... Sometimes CNN will run a marathon-

Joe Rogan 35:31 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:31 ... of his shows. I'll just sit there and watch every one. Even when he's in the US it's always interesting. He finds like... He'll find like a pocket of Cajun people that have like a f- you know, 78 people in the family and they make this special kind of-

Joe Rogan 35:43 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:43 ... jambalaya.

Joe Rogan 35:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's on... He's... He found his thing.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:48 He really did find his thing. But-

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:50 Was he a musician before? What did he do?

Joe Rogan 35:52 He's a chef.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:53 Oh, he was a chef.

Joe Rogan 35:53 Yeah, he's a chef and he wrote a book called Kitchen Confidential.

Greg Fitzsimmons 35:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:56 And it's a really good book. And then after the book became successful, he started doing a show on the Travel Channel. Um, I think it might even have been called Kit- Kitchen Confidential. And then he did another show, uh, that was called No Reservations.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:09 And that's, that's where I met him. I met him when he was still doing No Reservations.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:13 Yes.

Joe Rogan 36:13 That's when he did... He did my show back when I used to do it at my house. And then, uh, I did his show. I did it recently too. I did it recently in Montana. We went, uh, pheasant hunting.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:23 No shit.

Joe Rogan 36:23 Yeah, it was pretty cool.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:24 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 36:25 Yeah, it was awesome, though.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:26 Did he ever run any drugs?

Joe Rogan 36:28 He was a serious heroin addict.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:31 That's what I thought.

Joe Rogan 36:31 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:32 But he kicked the heroin and still drinks-

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:34 Still drinks.

Joe Rogan 36:35 ... and smokes pot.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:35 I know, that's amazing.

Joe Rogan 36:36 Yeah. Well, he's... I mean, he figured out how to do it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:40 But he works out every day.

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:42 He trains every day. I mean, he brings his jujitsu gi with him everywhere he goes. He goes on the road. Like when we were in Montana, he went to, um... We were outside of... (sighs) ... Bozeman, I think, somewhere outside of Bozeman. So he found a jiu-jitsu club in Bozeman and met them, and just went there and trained with them-

Greg Fitzsimmons 36:59 Wow.

Joe Rogan 36:59 ... during the day. I was like, "You're a fucking animal."

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:01 Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 37:01 He was just addicted to it. He goes to like... He was in Croatia, he told me, he was in like... I forget where it was, but some Asia-type place, some Serbia-

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:10 ... some of them, fucking Albania-

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:12 ... like one of them crazy places. And he said he was shitting out bone chips 'cause these guys were just smashing them.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:17 And I was like, "Dude-" (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:19 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:19 "... the fuck are you doing, man?" They were old school-

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:22 ... Carlson Gracie top-

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:24 ... top control guys and they just were-

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:26 ... fucking crushing them. He's like, "Dude, I'm shitting-"

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:27 Wow.

Joe Rogan 37:27 "... bone chips."

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:28 Wow.

Joe Rogan 37:28 I'm like, "What the fuck are you doing to yourself?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:29 That's amazing.

Joe Rogan 37:30 But he's, uh, y- like, he's at an age where a lot of people would, they would back off. They'd f-

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 37:35 They would think, "Oh, my body's frail. I'm gonna ride this off into the sunset." He's like, "Fuck you."

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:40 Well, all exercise is really subl- sublimating pain, on some level. I mean, even, even a light jog, you are in pain. And so you don't have to do it.

Joe Rogan 37:50 I think you're doing it wrong.

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:52 Oh, I'm always in pain.

Joe Rogan 37:53 (laughs) Are you really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 37:55 I feel like, when I jog, I feel like, I feel afraid I'm gonna die. And I think when people see me jogging, they think I'm running from something.

Joe Rogan 38:05 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:05 Like I'm scared.

Joe Rogan 38:07 Hm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:07 Like, that's the panic on my face.

Joe Rogan 38:09 What hurts? What hurts when you run?

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:09 My back.

Joe Rogan 38:10 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:10 I think the neck settled into my back and I have slight scoliosis, so, um... And then my, my wrists and ankles, for some reason, about a year ago, started to get sore. Like I can't do push-ups anymore. I had to buy those, those grips that you put on the ground-

Joe Rogan 38:26 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:26 ... because I couldn't, I can't put my hands flat.

Joe Rogan 38:28 What part hurts?

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:29 The whole wrist. The whole, all the ligaments in the wrist hurt.

Joe Rogan 38:33 Hm. And they hurt... Is it an overuse thing? Like it hurt from...

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:37 No, because it's both of them. I don't-

Joe Rogan 38:39 How-

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:39 ... know what I could've been doing with both of them.

Joe Rogan 38:41 Have you tried doing it since you cut bread and everything out of your diet?

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:45 I think it probably is better. It is better.

Joe Rogan 38:47 I bet it is.

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:49 Tha- that was the first thing a therapist told me, a physical therapist. She goes... Not a mental therapist, like, "Cut bread out."

Greg Fitzsimmons 38:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:54 "You got mental problems." Um, no, a, a physical therapist told me, she was like, "You'd be surprised, if you cut bread out of your diet, how-"

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:02 Just inflammation?

Joe Rogan 39:02 Just inflammation.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:03 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:03 How much your back would feel better and your neck would feel better.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:06 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:07 I thought it was 100% horse shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:08 I was like, "Oh, this is, like, hippie chiropractor talk. Good luck."

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:12 And then I did it, and I was like, "Oh, like, everything feels better."

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:16 Like, you, you don't realize it, like... That puffy feeling that you get in your face, that I get? I get f- fat face if I, uh-

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:24 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:24 ... if I eat too much bread and pasta, I get... You know, you start getting a little gut. But that's also in your joints, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 39:30 That's everywhere. Everything's inflamed.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:32 It's all- it's all, like, not good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:34 Right.

Joe Rogan 39:34 Your body's like, "What is this shit and how do we get rid of this?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:37 It's fucking hard on the road not to eat bread, though.

Joe Rogan 39:40 It's hard.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:40 It's so hard to find a meal that doesn't have bread in it, unless you wanna eat like, you know-

Joe Rogan 39:44 (coughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:44 ... some, some salad from Starbucks.

Joe Rogan 39:47 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:47 Some uninspired salad-

Joe Rogan 39:49 Oof. Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:49 ... that was made by somebody with a hairnet that was also making like stale fucking-

Joe Rogan 39:54 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:54 ... stale-tasting muffins. They come out of the oven, they're already stale-tasting.

Joe Rogan 39:57 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 39:58 Oh, I was, I was at a Starbucks recently and, um, there was a plate out with, you know, they put the muffin pieces while you're waiting?

Joe Rogan 40:05 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:05 And so I, I eat more than I should. You know, you should probably just have one, I think is the protocol. And I have like three of them. And, uh, this woman comes up and she goes, "Why are you eating my muffin?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:18 It was hers?

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:19 Yes.

Joe Rogan 40:20 No.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:20 And I go, I go, "I'm so sorry." I go, "Let me buy you another muffin." And, and instead of going, "No, don't worry about it," she was like, "Yeah." So I bought her another muffin. And she wasn't really, like, laughing about it or anything. She was... Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:34 Oh, that's hilarious.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:36 Yeah, when you were saying that, I was like, "I don't know that they do that."

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:39 Oh, fuck yeah. They w-

Joe Rogan 40:40 Um, do they do that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:41 What are they talking about? They don't do that.

Joe Rogan 40:42 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:42 Coffee shops always do that. No, but not Starbucks, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:46 Not Starbucks, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:46 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:46 But why was her muffin chopped up into little pieces? That seems weird too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:50 It was crumby. It was, uh, you know, kinda pulled apart, crumby.

Joe Rogan 40:54 Hm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 40:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:56 Okay. Seems weird. Have you ever, um, gone to Katz Deli in New York?

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:02 Sure.

Joe Rogan 41:03 Remember when they, they cut-

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:04 On Ludlow Street.

Joe Rogan 41:05 ... the pastrami for you?

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:06 And the corned beef, and they give you a little piece?

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:08 And you're like, "Holy shit." Like, while you're waiting, they chop it up and slide it forward on a plate.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:13 Best pastrami in the city.

Joe Rogan 41:14 Yeah, we just w- looked it up the other day. That place started out in the 1800s.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:18 No shit.

Joe Rogan 41:18 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:19 Wow. Yeah, Largo was a half a block away. I used to do stand-up there and I'd always stop and get a pastrami sandwich.

Joe Rogan 41:24 There was a Largo in New York?

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:25 In the Knish. Uh, uh, no, Luna Lounge, it was called.

Joe Rogan 41:27 Oh, okay. Yeah, there's no place like that here except Canter's.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:32 C- Canter's is all right.

Joe Rogan 41:33 Canter's is pretty good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:33 It's, uh... You know, I, I f- I find their, their pastrami's... Just doesn't have that, that, uh, tenderness that you get... 2nd Avenue Deli in New York.

Joe Rogan 41:44 Never been, I don't think.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:45 That's, that's the best.

Joe Rogan 41:46 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:46 That and Katz is the best, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:48 Yeah, I think K- I think Canter's is good.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:50 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 41:50 I think it's the best in LA.

Greg Fitzsimmons 41:52 I do too. I just don't think it's that good.

Joe Rogan 41:54 Well, you're just not gonna... It's hard to get those immigrants to come all the way across and settle in and, and be successful out here-

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:01 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:01 ... and have like a real spot.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:03 But there's a lot of Jewish people out here. You'd think there'd be more. Like, Jerry's Deli is good middle of the road.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:09 Th- They have good chicken noodle soup.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:11 Right.

Joe Rogan 42:12 But they don't have... It's like there's a difference between a real Italian restaurant in New York City and an Italian restaurant in Studio City.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:21 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 42:21 They're just fucking different.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:23 There's just no getting around it. If you wanna survive and you're like, "I need it just to survive," you can have linguini with clams at some nice place in Studio City, but it won't be the same.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:32 Yeah. No, that place Car- uh, was it Carmine's? What's, um... Or Arturo's? It was a place on Mulberry Street that was the oldest Italian restaurant in New Y- in, uh, Little Italy, and it just burned down.

Joe Rogan 42:44 Dude, I remember when you lived in Little Italy in a mob-owned building.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:47 That's right.

Joe Rogan 42:48 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:48 Yeah. Tony and Gladys were my landlords.

Joe Rogan 42:50 That's right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:51 And they had, uh, they'd had the apartment... They raised their kids there.

Joe Rogan 42:55 Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 42:55 And they were like, they were like in their late 70s. And so, they, their, their son, Gregory-... who was, uh, in construction and lived in Brooklyn-

Joe Rogan 43:05 Air, air quotes-

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:06 ... construction?

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:07 He was in construction. And so he bought them a condo around the corner because it was a f-... It was a six-floor walk-up.

Joe Rogan 43:13 Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:13 And so, one f-... You can pull it up on the screen, 142 Mulberry Street.

Joe Rogan 43:16 Explain to people that don't know what that means.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:19 That means you walk up six flights of stairs.

Joe Rogan 43:20 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:21 And-

Joe Rogan 43:21 Like, with couches and shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:22 Yeah. Right, right.

Joe Rogan 43:23 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:24 Well, their... All their furniture was there when I got there. They let me keep... And it was, I'm not making this up, plastic on the furniture.

Joe Rogan 43:29 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:30 And I found, uh, I found a, uh, an ease... A phone eavesdropping thing, like, where you could record phone calls-

Joe Rogan 43:36 What?

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:37 ... in the drawer. And, um, they... I used to pay them the rent once a month, not by check. They wanted cash. And it was... George MacDonald lived with me. And, uh, we would walk down this... And, and Lauren Dubrowski. We'd walk down the street to Spring Street, go to their condo, and we'd give them... If it was $600, we'd give that to Gladys and Tony.

Joe Rogan 43:59 Look at it right there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 43:59 And they would ma-... Yeah, there we go.

Joe Rogan 44:01 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:01 And they would make cappuccinos and cannolis.

Joe Rogan 44:03 Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:03 And we'd sit there and talk to them. And then Tony would go in the next room, and we'd give Gladys another 150 'cause that was her bingo money. And Tony don't need to know about that.

Joe Rogan 44:12 Oh, that's right. Uh-

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:13 That's right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:14 I remember that.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:15 And, uh-

Joe Rogan 44:15 Whatever happened to Lauren Dubrowski?

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:17 She passed away.

Joe Rogan 44:18 No.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:19 Cancer.

Joe Rogan 44:19 Oh, that's right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:21 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:21 She ended up as a big executive producer at MADtv for like 10 years.

Joe Rogan 44:25 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:26 Yeah. You know, Bobbi Lee, she, she sponsored a lot of people to get sober. I mean, you... I, I know a half a dozen people that she sponsored to get sober. Bobbi Lee is one of them.

Joe Rogan 44:35 She was, she was on a comedy team with-

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:39 Yeah. Couple of... Couple of Broads.

Joe Rogan 44:42 I don't remember what their name was. Who was the-

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:43 I think it was called The Couple of Broads.

Joe Rogan 44:44 And who was the-

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:46 Uh, the other one was, uh ... Oh, what was her name?

Joe Rogan 44:49 Fuck. Rick Jenkins used to date her.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:52 Yes. And she ended up doing a film. She moved out to Hollywood to make it. And, uh-

Joe Rogan 44:58 Hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 44:58 ... about a year and a half later, this softcore porn came out-

Joe Rogan 45:01 Hey.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:02 ... with her in it.

Joe Rogan 45:03 Oh.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:03 And she had the sickest body.

Joe Rogan 45:05 Smoking.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:05 And that was a VHS tape that got passed around that was-

Joe Rogan 45:09 Greasy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:09 ... covered in DNA. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:16 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:16 Yeah. Um, but Lauren was a really sweet, special person. She was great.

Joe Rogan 45:21 Yeah. She's a very nice person.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:23 That's right. I forgot that she passed away.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:24 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 45:25 I never ran into her... I ran into her once out here a long time ago, like more than 15, 16 years ago.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:34 (sighs) God.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:36 There is those comics that are... that... Like, Colin Quinn is one of them, where it just... They have saved so many comics in trouble, it's amazing.

Joe Rogan 45:43 Has he? Colin has?

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:45 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Co-

Joe Rogan 45:45 He's a great guy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:46 Yeah. He helped, uh... well, tried to help Geraldo. I, I shouldn't name people's names if it's program stuff, but, uh-

Joe Rogan 45:53 Well, some people are open about it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:56 I think all comics are. Becomes a part of your fucking act.

Greg Fitzsimmons 45:59 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 46:00 I mean, who, who, who gets sober and doesn't start talking about it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:03 That's like... Jesus Christ, why wouldn't you mind that?

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:07 I think a lot of comics start in AA rooms.

Joe Rogan 46:09 Sure.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:09 They get up and they... You know, they qualify, which is when you speak in an AA room and you get laughs.

Joe Rogan 46:14 Dave Fitzgerald.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:14 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:14 Remember Dave?

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:15 Right.

Joe Rogan 46:16 Dave had a fucking... one great joke. I remember this one gr- great joke that he had about being in Catholic school, and he did something wrong, and the priest smacked him in the head, and he goes, "Which is exactly how I think Jesus would handle it." (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:36 And, uh-

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:37 ... he just had this method of delivery, you know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:39 He was just a funny guy. Like, he was one of those guys that you saw him on stage, you go, "This guy's gonna be funny."

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:45 Oh, I mean, it's, it's amazing. Some people, the, the, the deck is loaded.

Joe Rogan 46:50 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:50 You walk on stage. He had this gravelly voice-

Joe Rogan 46:53 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:53 ... and this big square head.

Joe Rogan 46:55 Yep.

Greg Fitzsimmons 46:56 And he just... Uh, yeah, soon as... With that thick... I think he was from East Boston.

Joe Rogan 47:00 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:00 That thick accent. And he... And he was a fucking mailman. He was like a real blue-collar guy.

Joe Rogan 47:04 And a lifetime of stories.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:07 And he's a guy who became a pro real quick.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:09 Yes.

Joe Rogan 47:10 I remember, like, being real impressed with him because, uh, he was, like, a little bit ahead of me. I was j-... I was starting out as an open-micer, and he was real-... maybe a year ahead, and he was starting to get work. And I'm like, "This guy fucking took it seriously."

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:25 'Cause he was older.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:26 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:26 I think he was, like, 40 when he was getting started.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 47:29 And so he had his notebook, and he was, like, really organized with his bits, and he had, like, some philosophy about, like, why he would... why he would take a pause and why he would rush this part-

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:40 ... and where he would take that part. And I was like, "This guy is putting a lot of thought and effort into this."

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:46 I remember going down to see Paula Poundstone perform at, uh, the Comedy Connection, and he was the feature act. And he went up, and as a feature, got a standing ovation. I was like, "Holy shit."

Joe Rogan 47:57 Wow.

Greg Fitzsimmons 47:57 "That doesn't happen."

Joe Rogan 47:58 No, he was good. He got sick. He got sick and died as well.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:01 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 48:02 And I think there's just a lifetime of drugs and alcohol just caught up to him, unfortunately.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:08 Yeah. Right.

Joe Rogan 48:08 And right when he was... (snaps fingers) Right when he was, you know, getting his shit together.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:12 Right. Right.

Joe Rogan 48:13 There were so many of those guys. I mean, how many guys did we start out with that were alcoholics or former alcoholics?

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:19 Fucking everybody.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:20 All of them.

Joe Rogan 48:21 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:21 Yeah. And they're all... And that was the thing about when you were an opener in Boston. It was like, the criteria were, are you funny enough to cover 15 minutes to open? Number two, do you have a functioning automobile that you can take these DUI headliners to the gig with?

Joe Rogan 48:36 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:36 Because none of them had licenses.

Joe Rogan 48:38 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:38 And so I can remember, like, picking up Gavin, picking up Sweeny, picking up Mike McDonald-

Joe Rogan 48:44 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:44 ... and having to drive these guys out to wherever, and then you couldn't leave early 'cause you were driving them home. They'd give you a few bucks for gas. And you were happy to do it. You're like, "Holy shit, I'm gonna be-"

Joe Rogan 48:52 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 48:52 "... in a car with Don Gu-..." And so one time, Nick's, Nick's Comedy Store called me up, and they're like, "You're working in Framingham. You gotta drive the feature and the headliner out." And I go downtown to pick them up in front of Nick's, and I've got a, uh, I, I had a 1976 Volkswagen Rabbit, four-cylinder, rusted-out floorboards. And I ge- I get down there, and it's Mike Sullivan Irwin, who weighed about 300 pounds, and John Pinette-... who was about-

Joe Rogan 49:20 Oh, no.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:20 ... 275, and they saw my car and they both started giggling like schoolgirls, like, "We're gonna fucking go to a gig in this car." So we, we packed them in and it's, I couldn't get on, I couldn't get the car going above like 40, so instead of taking the Mass Pike out west of Framingham, I had to take, uh, uh, Route 9-

Joe Rogan 49:38 No way.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:38 ... the whole way. The whole-

Joe Rogan 49:39 You couldn't get it past 40?

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:40 I couldn't get it past 40 miles an hour. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:42 That's hilarious, like you're carrying lumber on the roof. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:47 (laughs) I had fucking 800 pounds of humans in my car.

Joe Rogan 49:50 I remember Mike Sullivan. I remember when he was Mike Sullivan-

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:53 Yeah, right.

Joe Rogan 49:53 ... then he became Mike Sullivan Irvin. He's the first guy that I ever met that took his wife's last name.

Greg Fitzsimmons 49:59 Is that why?

Joe Rogan 49:59 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:00 Oh, shit.

Joe Rogan 50:00 He was a feminist.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:01 Wow.

Joe Rogan 50:01 He was the first fe- male feminist, s- self-proclaimed male feminist that I ever met too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:06 Oh, that's hilarious.

Joe Rogan 50:07 Very nice guy.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:08 Yeah. Sweetheart.

Joe Rogan 50:09 S- super sweetheart-

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:10 ... of a guy. And, uh, that didn't work.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:14 He stopped doing comedy, right?

Joe Rogan 50:15 I think he died.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:16 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 50:17 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:18 This is a bummer podcast then.

Joe Rogan 50:18 It's a bummer of a podcast. I think he died as well.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:21 And John Pinette died as well.

Joe Rogan 50:22 Died as well, yeah. Yeah, um, that's why I'm glad you're doing cardio.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:28 That's right.

Joe Rogan 50:29 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:29 Well, you know, I'm 51-

Joe Rogan 50:31 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:31 ... and my dad died at 51 of a heart attack, so I take that shit seriously. Eating right and exercising.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:37 I mean, he also smoked three and a half packs a day and was an alcoholic, so-

Joe Rogan 50:40 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:40 ... it's different, different circumstances.

Joe Rogan 50:43 It is crazy how much of that shit is genetic, you know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:45 And I've always admired that you figured out when we were really young, I mean, when I met you, you quit. And, you know, we were both in our early 20s.

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:55 And, and you were like, "Fuck this."

Greg Fitzsimmons 50:56 Right.

Joe Rogan 50:57 "I'm not, I'm not going down that road." And you didn't need anything. You didn't, you didn't need Alcoholics Anonymous, you were like, "No, I'm not doing it."

Greg Fitzsimmons 51:04 I did some therapy, that helped. I just needed to realize that o- once I realized that, and I had gone to Al-Anon because of my dad, Adult Child of Alcoholic Meetings, which helped me a phenomenal amount just to realize that, um, that it's a disease and that, you know, you're powerless to it. And that for me, I was able to apply what I learned in there, 'cause I went to a couple of AA meetings and in Boston it was like guys would get up and they'd be like, "And then I blew a guy for a sandwich and I passed out in the fucking dump." And they s-

Joe Rogan 51:35 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 51:35 You know, it's like I couldn't relate. I mean, my thing was like, "I fucked a fat chick." You know, that was my bottom. I had a three-way with a couple of girls who were, uh, you know as-

Joe Rogan 51:44 Plus 250.

Greg Fitzsimmons 51:44 ... as fat as John Pinette. And so, uh, so I could, but I, but I've, I read the literature of the 12 steps and it helped me 'cause it made me realize that when I wanted a drink, something was going on.

Joe Rogan 51:55 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 51:56 And to this day, I just have that reaction. I know that I still want to drink all the time, but when I really want a drink, I stop and I go, "All right, what's stressing you out? What do you need to deal with?" And then I just kind of focus on it.

Joe Rogan 52:07 Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, there was, um, when I was a kid my, uh, my dad was an architect and so I worked on a lot of construction sites. And I met a lot of junkies, a lot of junkies. A lot of people on construction sites are either alcoholics or drug addicts. And there was this one guy that I really liked. He was a funny guy, man. Really funny guy and he was in a band, his name is Robbie. Funny fucking dude, loved hanging around with him. But just couldn't stay off the coke.

Greg Fitzsimmons 52:36 (clears throat) Wow.

Joe Rogan 52:37 Couldn't stay off the coke. And you could totally tell, he w- and he would, he'd be honest about it too. Say how he went off the rails and, you know, and, you know, and he would, we would be working together. He was a carpenter and I was, you know, like a, a, a laborer. So I was like an apprentice. And so he'd be, you know, talking to me while he's explaining to me how to do things and stuff like that. And, uh, he's like, "Yeah, you know, I'm just fucking tired of this. I'm getting my shit together. The band's getting back together again, we're writing songs," and this and that. And then he'd come in Monday looking like shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:07 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:08 Just looking like shit. Real grumpy, didn't want to talk, had a headache.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:13 And, you know, and he did admit it, you know, went off the rails.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:16 Right. The saddest thing is that when you first start doing drugs, and I don't know about you but I, I had a phenomenal time doing cocaine. You know, I'd... Mushrooms and all the stuff I did as a teenager was like be- I never got hooked on it, and if you do it, you know, maybe I did coke 50 times without ever getting hooked. It's a blast. That's the, that's the best kept secret. But then once you get hooked, you're not even having fun anymore, you're just maintaining. You're just feeding it so you don't crash. You know, with, with heroin you're just trying to avoid withdrawals. You're not even feeling that great anymore.

Joe Rogan 53:52 I think with Robbie too, part of the problem was he was very disappointed in himself.

Greg Fitzsimmons 53:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:57 You know, it was booze too. He would just go off the rails and try to keep it togeth- you know, it's like... There's a lot of people out there that they have a dream and then the pressure of trying to reach that dream, like his dream is to be in a successful band, right? And the pressure of trying to reach that dream and see it to fruition is just seems-

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:16 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:16 It seems unreachable.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:18 It seems too far off. And here you are, you're, you're in your 30s and you're working a construction job and-

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:23 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:24 You know, you fucking work all day in Boston in the winter.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:27 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:28 You're tired as shit when you get home. You don't want to go to band practice.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:32 You get home, it's 6:30, you have dinner, now it's 7:30.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:35 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:36 You got to get up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:37 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:37 You got to get up in a few hours.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:38 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:38 Like what are you doing? When are you going to bed? You know, you got to get up at 6:00. Like, "Fuck."

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:41 Then you go to band practice and the drummer doesn't show up so you can't-

Joe Rogan 54:45 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:45 ... practice or-

Joe Rogan 54:46 He's 45 minutes late, his car breaks down, and you're fucking pissed and-

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:50 Some, some-

Joe Rogan 54:50 ... your girlfriend's screaming at you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:52 Yeah. Oh yeah, then try to have a relationship on top of that.

Joe Rogan 54:54 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 54:54 Tell that girl you can't go out on Saturday night ever 'cause you're doing gigs.

Joe Rogan 54:59 Ugh. And then the gigs suck and you're not making any money, and they're like, "You should get a job. The gigs suck."

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:05 "You should get a job."

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:07 Fuck.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:07 And, and then you're in a band so girls are throwing themselves at you, you have an affair. She's got some coke.

Joe Rogan 55:12 (snorts) Now it's good. Now the story turned around.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:14 (laughs) I turned it around.

Joe Rogan 55:15 Now it's exciting again. (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:18 (laughs) Bonjour!

Joe Rogan 55:21 ... (singing) Down, down, down.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:23 Like, sometimes-

Joe Rogan 55:24 You know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:24 ... when I work at a casino, there'll always be that band in the lounge that's playing, like, Born to Be Wild-

Joe Rogan 55:28 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:28 ... and all those songs. And, like, you'll see people that are, like, 57 dancing.

Joe Rogan 55:34 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:34 And you, and you see them and they're dancing, and it's like they're just reliving the only joy they had in their life, which was, like, when they were young-

Joe Rogan 55:41 (sighs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:42 ... dancing to rock. And this band is fucking ... They're gods to them.

Joe Rogan 55:47 Mm-hmm. (smacks lips) You know, the, the time when you're young, when you're having fun, is so fleeting.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:56 Then all of a sudden, responsibilities stack up.

Greg Fitzsimmons 55:58 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:58 And all of a sudden, you know, you have to pay bills. You have obligations. You have so much that you have to think about.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:07 For so many people, there's just, there's this period of their life where they look back to whimsically, like, "That was the time when I was free."

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:16 "I was young and my dick got hard all the time."

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:22 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:22 I could go two or three times.

Joe Rogan 56:24 Ooh, three times in a night, you're like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:26 Shit.

Joe Rogan 56:27 ... "I'm wild, man. I can't believe it."

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:28 And you think anything is possible.

Joe Rogan 56:30 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:30 I mean, that's really-

Joe Rogan 56:31 Anything can happen.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:32 ... that's the loss of innocence-

Joe Rogan 56:33 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:33 ... is when you realize at a certain point that you do have to pick a path and stay on it.

Joe Rogan 56:38 Oh, yeah. You better.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:40 'Cause you gotta pay the bills with it. And, you know, and then what's so sad is you see people that work so fucking hard for not a lot of money, and, you know, bills just add up, and then they save just enough when they get their vacation twice a year, they'll go to, like, a cruise and they'll just drink nonstop for a week.

Joe Rogan 56:59 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 56:59 And at the end of it, they're just hungover, they blew the excess money they had, and that was it? That's what you worked all year for?

Joe Rogan 57:06 I had a friend of mine that worked in a restaurant and, uh, one of the guys he worked with saved up his money for eight years, went to Vegas and blew it in one day.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:18 (sighs) (laughs) Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 57:20 It was th- the most heartbreaking story.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:22 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 57:22 This poor guy, I think he was a dishwasher, and he worked there for eight years.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:28 He, like, set aside 50 here, 25 there.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:32 Set aside for eight fucking years.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:36 And I think it was some good amount of money, like $30,000.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:39 Shit.

Joe Rogan 57:40 Went there with a plan. "This is it, baby."

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:43 "I'm good at blackjack," or whatever the fuck he played.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:46 He read a book.

Joe Rogan 57:47 A lot of guys read books.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:48 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 57:49 You can win money. You can win money playing blackjack. But you know what's fucked up? When you do, if you get good at it, they ban you.

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:57 I know. It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 57:59 What?

Greg Fitzsimmons 57:59 Yeah. The other crazy thing is in blackjack there's, there's, like, multi-deck and there's single-deck blackjack. And the payout on single-deck is less. Instead of three to two odds, you get paid, like f- I forget what it is, but you get, you get less of a payout when you hit blackjack. And the rules are more restrictive about, like, splitting aces and all that stuff.

Joe Rogan 58:21 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:22 So the implication is with a single deck, you can count cards. That's why they pay you less.

Joe Rogan 58:29 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:29 But if you get caught counting cards, you get thrown out of the casino.

Joe Rogan 58:32 How the fuck do they catch you counting cards? And isn't it normal that you are using strategy to try to win the game? Like-

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:40 It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 58:41 Like, you can't try so hard.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:43 Right.

Joe Rogan 58:43 That's like if you're playing pool and you aim.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:45 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:45 "I caught you aiming." (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:47 Or when they don't let you-

Joe Rogan 58:48 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:48 ... use drugs in sports.

Joe Rogan 58:50 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:50 Steroids, man, they make you better.

Joe Rogan 58:52 They definitely make you better.

Greg Fitzsimmons 58:53 Fuck yeah. Why should we not have drugs in sports?

Joe Rogan 58:56 Well, because they're bad for your body and because you don't want the children to get the wrong message-

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:00 You're right.

Joe Rogan 59:01 ... that cheating and drugs are the only way to win.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:03 I think there should be a Supernatural League and a Natural League.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:07 I like it.

Joe Rogan 59:08 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:08 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:08 Su- Supernatural League-

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:09 You have a choice.

Joe Rogan 59:09 ... is you just get, get one of them fucking Russian guys from that Icarus documentary-

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:14 ... and you just, "What do you got, baby?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:16 "Let's do this shit."

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:16 Right.

Joe Rogan 59:17 And you find out what happens. The problem is, legitimately, if you do go whole hog and, and take the fucking full steroid route, you're definitely redlining your body. You're doing-

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:30 ... some shit to your body that your endocrine system's gonna shut down. You're putting u- ungodly stress on all sorts of parts of your body because the workload that your body's putting out is just superhuman.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:42 But for those brief shining moments, you can absolutely perform better.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:48 Well, and that's what it's about. And as a viewer-

Joe Rogan 59:51 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 59:51 ... I wanna see them run faster and hit harder and jump higher. And, you know, and, and honestly, they're jocks. This is what they were bred to do. They are, they are the jock class.

Joe Rogan 1:00:02 (coughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:02 They, they did it their whole lives.

Joe Rogan 1:00:03 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:03 They dreamed of l- the shining moment.

Joe Rogan 1:00:05 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:05 Let 'em have their shining moment.

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 Right. But what about the natural athletes? What about the Herschel Walkers out there that don't need it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:12 Right. Well, they're in the other league.

Joe Rogan 1:00:15 Well, for them, they're like, "Well, you shouldn't be a fucking athlete."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:18 You know? "I need it."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:19 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:00:19 Or, "I don't need it. Y- you need it."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:23 But I always wondered about those guys. Like, are they being honest that they don't take it? Like, H- Herschel Walker, like, deep into his 40s was claiming that he never took anything and, uh, that he only ate a bowl of soup and a salad a day.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:36 No shit.

Joe Rogan 1:00:37 Doesn't make sense.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:38 Oh, didn't, didn't his mother do the Campbell Soup commercial-

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 I don't know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:42 ... with him?

Joe Rogan 1:00:42 The thing about Herschel, though, is that he also has, um, multiple personality disorder.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:48 Oh, no shit.

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 Yeah, I think he has, um, str- stress or trauma-induced, trauma-induced multiple personality disorder.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:00:57 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:00:58 So it's entirely possible that when he says, "I only took a bowl of soup and a salad," he's telling the truth, but that's him. There's, like, five other people that live inside his brain and they've been eating steak all day-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 ... doing steroids.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:01:11 I don't know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:11 That's fascinating.

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 Yeah, I don't know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:12 What was the trauma? Do you know?

Joe Rogan 1:01:14 Well, I think he had a really rough childhood. There was, uh, a lot of psychological abuse, physical abuse, and then there was football abuse.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:22 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 I think all those things. I mean, there is no way you're getting out of football for free.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:27 You're- you're getting fucking hit hard.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:29 And that's trauma. So there's trauma, psychological trauma.... I don't know, he's talked about it pretty openly though. But what's interesting is even after all that, he still fought. You know, he fought. A lot of people don't know, he fought in Strikeforce.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:41 Oh, I didn't know that.

Joe Rogan 1:01:42 Beat the fuck out of some people, dude. He's a legit martial artist.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:45 No shit?

Joe Rogan 1:01:46 Dude! He was in his 40s. Like, 46 to 48, I believe he fought in Strikeforce, and when I say he was jacked, I mean, j- j- j- j- jacked!

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:01:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:59 Full six-pack, shredded, 46 years old, just manhandling lesser athletes and beating the fuck out of them.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:06 Yeah. In what, jujitsu?

Joe Rogan 1:02:08 MMA.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:09 No shit?

Joe Rogan 1:02:09 Yeah. He fought in Strikeforce.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:11 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:02:11 Strikeforce was a league that the UFC wound up purchasing and we took all their fighters and they came over and, you know, a lot of guys like, um, Gilbert Melendez was champ over there, um, Josh Thompson, like, real high-level fighters. Uh, Luke Rockhold, they all came over from Strikeforce.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:26 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:26 Uh, and Hershel Walker was over there in his 40s. And a lot of people were, like, super skeptical. Like, "Get the fu- What is this, some freak show?"

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:34 "Hershel Walker's gonna fight? Come on, man. Hershel Walker's an old football player."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:38 And then you see him and you're like, "Jesus!" Freak athlete.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:42 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:02:42 Just a freak of nature.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:43 So you think he must have been using steroids at that point?

Joe Rogan 1:02:46 No. No, he's not, not must've, no. He definitely... I mean, you always get suspicious when you see someone who's a freak, but there are real freaks.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:53 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:53 Like, just, like, Jon Holmes had a giant dick. He didn't take steroids to have a giant dick, he just had a giant dick.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:02:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:02:58 Some girls have enormous tits.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:00 Why? I don't know.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:01 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:03:01 They just do. Like, there's no, there's no even body. Like, there's no equality in physical construction.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:08 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:03:08 And some people just get born with freak body parts.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:12 And they just are. There's, there's athletes that are just way better than you will ever be, no matter what you do.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:19 And I think Hershel Walker's unquestionably one of those.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:23 Um-

Joe Rogan 1:03:23 It's just, how long did he maintain it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:24 I mean, I watched the Olympics and, um-

Joe Rogan 1:03:26 The curling?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:28 ... I l- (laughs) You know, curling-

Joe Rogan 1:03:30 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:30 ... the thing is, is it's not much to watch, but I would pay a lot of money to just fucking get high one day and, and curl.

Joe Rogan 1:03:37 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:37 Oh, like-

Joe Rogan 1:03:37 How much?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:38 Like, t-

Joe Rogan 1:03:38 What's a lot of money?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:39 Like, $1,000.

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 $1,000?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:40 I'd pay $1,000-

Joe Rogan 1:03:41 What?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:42 ... to curl one day.

Joe Rogan 1:03:43 Why?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:43 But I mean, that's for all my friends. It pays for the whole curling court.

Joe Rogan 1:03:47 For the whole day?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:47 Oh, okay, okay.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:47 The whole day.

Joe Rogan 1:03:48 Everybody'd get bored after, like, 10 minutes.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:49 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:03:50 Really?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:51 I mean, I love games like that. Like, I love, uh, ladder ball, you know, where there's, like, uh, two sticks and it's got, like, a ladder-

Joe Rogan 1:03:57 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:03:57 ... that goes between it and it's got a ball with a rope between the two balls and you whip it.

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:01 I can play that for upwards of three or four hours. We have it in the backyard.

Joe Rogan 1:04:05 Three or four hours?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:06 Oh, non-stop. I just get, I get so competitive and so obsessed. Uh, horseshoes, bocce ball.

Joe Rogan 1:04:14 Horseshoes are fun.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:16 Yeah. I don't know, man.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:17 Just get into such a groove.

Joe Rogan 1:04:19 Like pool, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:21 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:22 I mean, you and I have played pool for three hours easily.

Joe Rogan 1:04:24 Oh, yeah. Easily. We could've today if we didn't stop and do the podcast-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:27 ... we probably would've kept going.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:29 Well, son is, uh, good luck to Sam Ojai today in the, uh, soccer playoffs.

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 (sings)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:33 Third round, undefeated this year.

Joe Rogan 1:04:35 Do you like watching soccer?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:38 I love wa-

Joe Rogan 1:04:39 You like watching your son.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:39 I like watching it, but I love watching my son play.

Joe Rogan 1:04:43 Yeah, yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:43 I just, I... There's few joys in the world like watching my son play soccer.

Joe Rogan 1:04:47 It's crazy, right?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:47 You meet a little person who's out there running around.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:04:49 Yeah, I know. And you just see... Well, because he's s- No matter how old your kid gets, you still see them as a little kid. And then when you see them out there on the field with these... And you see the size of the other guys and how aggressive they are and you're like, "Holy shit, my little kid is in there holding his own," and he's a physical player. And, uh, it's just, uh... And you know, you get to know the parents and the kids and it's like a whole... It's like being a fan of a sport but you actually know the players.

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 Yeah, yeah. There's, there's something also, I think, that's incredibly important for kids to learn how to compete.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:21 And also learn what it feels like to lose.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:24 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:05:24 And to... And that bad feeling.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:25 You know, there's a lot of people that grew up and they, they were never involved in competitive sports, they were never involved in any sort of competitive games.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:32 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:32 And they just don't know what it's like to lose.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:34 And I think that's a valuable lesson in life to... I think it, it teaches you a lot about rejection from, you know, the opposite sex or the same sex, if you're into that shit.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:45 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:45 Um, I think it teaches you a lot about not getting the job that you want, a lot... I think it teaches you a lot about real competition in the real world and it-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:52 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:52 It gets you used to that weird feeling of competing at a young age so it becomes normal.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:58 You know?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:05:59 Yeah. To go... Well, because I think there's, um, there's a shame with being competitive these days, because everything is so politically correct that you shouldn't be an alpha, you shouldn't be-

Joe Rogan 1:06:09 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:09 ... aggressive, you shouldn't try to beat somebody down. And in sports, it gives you a safe place to realize that that's a part of our makeup, that's a part of your, your whole psyche is to wanna compete, you wanna challenge, you know?

Joe Rogan 1:06:22 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:22 To be Darwinian. And that there's a place to do it and then there's a place to not do it.

Joe Rogan 1:06:28 Yeah. Well, it's easier to find the place to not do it when you do it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:33 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:34 And this is the thing about jujitsu that I always try to explain to people. Jujitsu practitioners are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet and one of the reasons why is they get all that stupid shit out on the mats.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:46 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:06:47 And they're tired all the time too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:49 So they, they're like, they don't wanna start any bullshit, like, "Ugh."

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:52 "I don't wanna deal." And plus, they don't need their ego stroked. Their ego's getting beaten down and stroked all the time.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:06:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:58 It's stroked when you tap somebody, beaten down when you get tapped out. And you have to get used to it. In order to get to a certain rank, like if, say if you get up to, like, purple belt or brown belt or something like that, who knows how many hundreds of times you've been tapped out?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:10 And who knows? I have no idea how many times I've been tapped out.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:13 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:14 But it's probably thousands.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:15 No shit.

Joe Rogan 1:07:16 How could it not be?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:17 Wow.

Joe Rogan 1:07:18 All those years of doing jujitsu, 20 years of doing ju- 20 plus years of doing jujitsu?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:23 And all the times I rolled and all the times I rolled people better than me, I've been fucking choked and arm barred and you just get used to it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:30 It's not fun, you don't enjoy it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:32 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:32 But what you do enjoy-... is that you've experienced, um, something that you didn't have an answer for, and so you know there's work to be done.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:39 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:39 And that's... Jujitsu's endless.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:41 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:41 It's endless.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:07:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:07:42 You know, um, there's a guy who explained this. How was the ex- explanation? It's a br- a brilliant... Reelson Gracie explained it to someone who didn't understand Jujitsu, and he's got this thick Brazilian accent. "It's I do this, and then you do that, and then I do this, and then you do that, and then I do this forever." That's Jujitsu.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:05 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:08:05 It's like, it's constantly move and defense and counter and defense and attack and-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:11 Well, I hear people describe it as a chess match.

Joe Rogan 1:08:14 It is, but chess pieces only move one way.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:17 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:08:18 It's so dynamic and kinetic and so... They're always adding new moves too.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:21 There's all these new moves that people are constantly learning.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:08:24 It's, it's um... But the thing is, you're using your body.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:08:29 Your body is what is being attacked and your body's what you're using to attack.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:08:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:08:33 So, you know, you g- things give out while you're attacking and things give out while you're getting attacked. And I think there's not enough Jujitsu guys who, um... I think if I was going to advise people, one of the things that I would advise is, you should have a regular conditioning, strength and conditioning routine, just to strengthen your joints, strengthen your limbs, strengthen your back, yoga. I think strength and conditioning and yoga are almost as important, not as important as Jujitsu itself, to get good at it, but almost as important to prevent injuries and to allow you to reach your full physical potential.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:09 Mm-hmm. Yeah, so I mean, in terms of that being a life lesson, it's um... I think when you can physicalize something that then becomes like in a workplace-

Joe Rogan 1:09:19 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:19 ... more of a mental thing, you realize that being tapped out in the workplace can mean everybody gets fired on a regular basis. People used to get one job and they would keep it for 30 years. You get a gold watch and a pension.

Joe Rogan 1:09:32 Mmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:32 Now the average job, I don't know what it is, Jamie, what's the average lifespan of a job? Three years?

Joe Rogan 1:09:38 Is it?

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:38 Four years? I think so. I think people tend to bounce around a lot more. And so I think that life... People get divorced-

Joe Rogan 1:09:45 Mm-hmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:45 ... and they have a... they have other successful relationships. You know, like somebody was saying to me the other day, like, that joke, the Renny Youngma joke, "Take my wife please."

Joe Rogan 1:09:54 Mmm.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:54 Doesn't make sense anymore because-

Joe Rogan 1:09:56 Right.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:56 ... you would've fucking left her.

Joe Rogan 1:09:57 (laughs)

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:09:58 You wouldn't be saying, take my wife. You... You know.

Joe Rogan 1:10:01 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:01 And so, so I think that it's a... Life is filled with more transitions and being able to accept and almost be s- like you said, learn from, be empowered and strengthened-

Joe Rogan 1:10:10 Yeah.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:10 ... by a change as opposed to defeated by it.

Joe Rogan 1:10:13 Well, no one gets through life perfect. You just don't. So if you think other people are getting through life perfect and you're fucking up all the time-

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:21 Mmm.

Joe Rogan 1:10:21 ... you feel terrible about it.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:23 But you gotta realize that those fuck-ups and those terrible moments, those are valuable learning experiences.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:29 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:10:29 And the people that I know that are the most interesting have failed the hardest.

Greg Fitzsimmons 1:10:33 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:10:33 They've had these just colossal fuck-ups and then they