Joe Rogan Experience #1312 - Ms Pat

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   Two, one. (claps) Boom!…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Two, one. (claps) Boom! Ms. Pat, we're live. What's up? How are ya?

   2. PAMs. Pat0:07

      Hey.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      Great to see you again.

   4. PAMs. Pat0:08

      Glad to be back.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      Oh.

   6. PAMs. Pat0:09

      Man, this studio is better than my house.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      (laughs)

   8. PAMs. Pat0:12

      Crap. I'm gonna go home and tell my husband we need to move in Joe Rogan's studio.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      There's not a lot of room for extra people. But... (laughs)

   10. PAMs. Pat0:19

       I, I know, I know, I know, (laughs) I know. I was just fantasizing.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Are you still in Indianapolis?

   12. PAMs. Pat0:24

       Um, unfortunately.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       You don't like it there?

   14. PAMs. Pat0:26

       Hell no.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       (laughs)

   16. PAMs. Pat0:28

       I, I like my fans, but I, I'm, I'm Black, and, uh, you know, it's snow. And snow and weave-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Oh.

   18. PAMs. Pat0:33

       ... don't go together.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Oh.

   20. PAMs. Pat0:34

       And it... You know? I just don't like it. It's the same ol'. Everybody eating at Applebee's and Golden Corral.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Mm-hmm.

   22. PAMs. Pat0:41

       I need culture. I want-

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Culture.

   24. PAMs. Pat0:42

       Yeah, culture.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Where would you move? What about Chicago?

   26. PAMs. Pat0:44

       I'm cool. I wanna go back to Atlanta.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Atlanta. There you go.

   28. PAMs. Pat0:46

       That's where I wanna be. I wanna be in Atlanta. I wanna-

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       I love Atlanta.

   30. PAMs. Pat0:49

       Yes. Man, the food, the people.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Yeah, they were. I…

   1. JRJoe Rogan15:00

      them from, and they're on a Disney cruise, right?

   2. PAMs. Pat15:01

      Yeah, they were. I said, "Look at these crack babies on a Disney cruise with matching outfits." (laughs)

   3. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      Oh.

   4. PAMs. Pat15:07

      But I love them. I mean-

   5. JRJoe Rogan15:08

      That's amazing that you're doing that. It really is. I mean, I know it's hard, but it's amazing that you're doing that.

   6. PAMs. Pat15:12

      Well, you know, like I said earlier, every, every child deserve a, a, a s- solid foundation to start on. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have that solid foundation. I didn't have nobody to step in my life and, you know, snatch me from my mom.

   7. JRJoe Rogan15:25

      Yeah.

   8. PAMs. Pat15:25

      But, you know, whenever I see a c- child in need, especially a family member, I always try to step in, because I know, I know when you don't have that solid foundation where you can end up. And some kids end up, y- you know, fucked up even with a solid foundation.

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:40

      Yeah.

   10. PAMs. Pat15:40

       But if you can give them a good start, at least give them a good start.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:44

       Yeah.

   12. PAMs. Pat15:44

       And that's all I ever wanted to do.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:46

       That's beautiful.

   14. PAMs. Pat15:47

       Yeah, and 7's Learning Center is killing me. (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:51

       (laughs)

   16. PAMs. Pat15:51

       I put these Black crack babies in this white community. These kids been reading since they were two. They were whooping my Black baby ass, J- uh, Joe Rogan.

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:57

       So they need tutors?

   18. PAMs. Pat15:58

       Hell yeah.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:59

       (laughs)

   20. PAMs. Pat15:59

       (laughs) I'm like, I took it all kinda long. I'm like, "Hoo, I'll be glad when you crack babies catch up. I'll be glad when y'all catch up."

   21. JRJoe Rogan16:05

       We gotta get this podcast to take off.

   22. PAMs. Pat16:07

       Yes, yes, yes. So I don't play-

   23. JRJoe Rogan16:08

       You don't need a TV show these days. You don't.

   24. PAMs. Pat16:11

       Y-

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       You just need that podcast to keep going.

   26. PAMs. Pat16:13

       I know. I kn- I'm enjoying it, too. I didn't realize-

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:15

       But you're perfect for it. Like, that's what we were talking about at The Comedy Store the last time I saw you.

   28. PAMs. Pat16:19

       04:00 in the morning.

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:20

       I was like, "You've got to. You have to."

   30. PAMs. Pat16:22

       You right. You right, and I really like it, too.
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   (laughs) I don't think…

   1. PAMs. Pat30:00

      (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:01

      (laughs) I don't think that's gonna help either.

   3. PAMs. Pat30:04

      (laughs) When it's over, it's over, right? (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:06

      I guess. Yeah.

   5. PAMs. Pat30:07

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      People, people like to think th- that they would be happy when it's over. Like good, finally, it's over.

   7. PAMs. Pat30:12

      Well, women are happy when they periods don't come on no more.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:14

      Yeah, but men.

   9. PAMs. Pat30:14

      Why can't men be happy when they penis don't work?

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:16

       'Cause for men, like your dick not working is a sign of you don't, you're not a man anymore.

   11. PAMs. Pat30:21

       Weakness?

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:21

       Yeah, yeah, for sure.

   13. PAMs. Pat30:23

       Mm?

   14. JRJoe Rogan30:24

       Yeah, you feel like you're not a man anymore.

   15. PAMs. Pat30:26

       Oh, really?

   16. JRJoe Rogan30:26

       Yeah.

   17. PAMs. Pat30:27

       So, I don't feel like I'm not a woman no more. When my periods stop, we be happy.

   18. JRJoe Rogan30:31

       Yeah, but it's different. If your pussies dried up and became useless, like sealed up ... (laughs)

   19. PAMs. Pat30:38

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:39

       Like nothing. You know? Like, maybe you, you meet a man- (laughs) Maybe you and your husband get divorced and you met a man and he's beautiful-

   21. PAMs. Pat30:44

       Mm.

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:45

       ... and he can't read, so he's got good dick and-

   23. PAMs. Pat30:47

       And he go to put it in and flakes fall off?

   24. JRJoe Rogan30:49

       ... and he ... And it's just a mess down there.

   25. PAMs. Pat30:51

       Mm.

   26. JRJoe Rogan30:52

       Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

   27. PAMs. Pat30:53

       Well, Joe, I'm Black. It grow real thick, so it's always a mess down there.

   28. JRJoe Rogan30:57

       (laughs)

   29. PAMs. Pat30:59

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan30:59

       (laughs) It grow real thick?
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   No, Joe, my momma…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

   2. PAMs. Pat45:00

      No, Joe, my momma didn't have no titties.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:02

      Yeah, but sometimes it doesn't get your mom, but it goes to you.

   4. PAMs. Pat45:05

      Joe, I'm trying to sell this government butter-

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:07

      Skips people. (laughs)

   6. PAMs. Pat45:08

      ... to keep these women. Don't do that educational shit, Joe.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:11

      (laughs)

   8. PAMs. Pat45:11

      Don't break it all the way down for the ladies.

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:13

      Okay.

   10. PAMs. Pat45:13

       Let them try the butter before they try the poison.

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:15

       Okay.

   12. PAMs. Pat45:16

       So go out and get you some good old government butter that won't melt and just sit on it.

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:21

       Okay.

   14. PAMs. Pat45:21

       Like a, like a, like a fucking, a, a bird trying to hatch a egg.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:24

       Just sit on it?

   16. PAMs. Pat45:25

       Yeah. Just rub it all over your booty and stuff.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:27

       And then just have a seat on it, like a bag.

   18. PAMs. Pat45:28

       Yeah. (laughs) And hopefully it'll make your booties and titties grow. It worked for me.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:32

       Imagine if it did work. Imagine if that worked. There's a lot of questions on Yahoo, people asking that. Come on. Does, does butter make your butt bigger? And then I found a product on Amazon- What? ... called Butt Butter. Butt Butter? (laughs)

   20. PAMs. Pat45:46

       (laughs) Y'all be thinking outta line.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Butter enhancement cream for smoother, fuller, and firmer skin. Yeah.

   22. PAMs. Pat45:51

       I don't know if that's what I had-

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:52

       What?

   24. PAMs. Pat45:52

       ... when I was coming up.

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:53

       It's not, but yeah. Natural butt enhancement cream for women and men. Plump Booty Enhancer Lotion, Butt Firming and Tightening Cream, Sexy Butt... Was it... Hold on. It's- I'm sorry. S- sexy Butt Lifter Cream, Butt Enlarger Cream. Yeah. This is horse shit. Yeah, it's p- most likely.

   26. PAMs. Pat46:09

       It's got four stars?

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       (laughs) Four stars?

   28. PAMs. Pat46:10

       Somebody grew an ass from it. (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:12

       Nah, it's a bunch of people that are assholes that work for the company. Yeah. They're reviewing it. Look, 364 customer reviews. Yeah. Hold on, click that.

   30. PAMs. Pat46:22

       (laughs)
5. 1:00:00 – 1:03:35

   That's hot. That's beautiful.…

   1. PAMs. Pat1:00:00

      to bury my daddy. And I was like, "You don't have to do this." And I was like, "I'll work for it." He's like, "Look, no. Go bury your daddy." 'Cause before he did that, I was about to put my fucking daddy in a potato sack and stick him in the ground 'cause we ain't have no money, and I tried to do the fish fry in the Black commu-... I mean, the white neighborhood. They don't know nothing about no fucking fish fry on no Tuesday. And Katt Williams gave me the money to bury him.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:20

      That's hot. That's beautiful.

   3. PAMs. Pat1:00:21

      Yeah, so can't nobody tell me shit about Katt Williams.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:24

      (coughs) He's crazy but he's funny as fuck. He's, uh, he's one of my favorites, all time.

   5. PAMs. Pat1:00:28

      And he tell the fucking truth, too.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:29

      If you go to the b- go back to like The Pimp Chronicles.

   7. PAMs. Pat1:00:32

      Yes.

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:32

      He's in his prime. That is ... Those are some of the best specials ever.

   9. PAMs. Pat1:00:35

      Yes.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:36

       He's a funny motherfucker, and he's so original.

   11. PAMs. Pat1:00:39

       So original.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       Like, that is him. You know what I mean? Like, his delivery, his style, everything.

   13. PAMs. Pat1:00:44

       I love him. Can't nobody tell me shit about-

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:46

       I'm a fan.

   15. PAMs. Pat1:00:46

       ... no Katt Williams.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:47

       I'm a fan.

   17. PAMs. Pat1:00:47

       Because of Katt Williams, I was able to finish my basement after that tour.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:51

       He, uh, he gave me some ... Well not gave me, but he gave some f- great advice once about comedy. One of the things he said is, "Don't eat before you go on stage." And I was like, "Yeah, why would you? You don't eat before you fight. Why would you eat before you go on stage?"

   19. PAMs. Pat1:01:04

       Why?

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:04

       'Cause it causes your body to ... Your body, when you eat, has to break down that food so it- it's, it's using up energy. Like, some of the energy that you would have to do stand-up is now breaking down that food in your body.

   21. PAMs. Pat1:01:16

       That's why we about to fall asleep on stage?

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:18

       Yes! Yes.

   23. PAMs. Pat1:01:20

       Shit. I gotta stop eating.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:22

       Just don't eat right before you go on stage. Just eat afterwards.

   25. PAMs. Pat1:01:25

       Okay.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:26

       Yeah, I mean, I, I listen to him and I was like, "That makes so much sense." And also, he has a playlist of music that he plays.

   27. PAMs. Pat1:01:32

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:32

       Right before he goes on stage, like sets it up, like ... And he's like, puts him in the mood to, to go on stage.

   29. PAMs. Pat1:01:38

       Yeah, I do that, too. I do that, too.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:39

       I do that, too.

Episode duration: 1:39:28