Joe Rogan Experience #1312 - Ms Pat

Joe Rogan 0:02 Two, one. (claps) Boom! Ms. Pat, we're live. What's up? How are ya?

Ms. Pat 0:07 Hey.

Joe Rogan 0:07 Great to see you again.

Ms. Pat 0:08 Glad to be back.

Joe Rogan 0:09 Oh.

Ms. Pat 0:09 Man, this studio is better than my house.

Joe Rogan 0:11 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 0:12 Crap. I'm gonna go home and tell my husband we need to move in Joe Rogan's studio.

Joe Rogan 0:16 There's not a lot of room for extra people. But... (laughs)

Ms. Pat 0:19 I, I know, I know, I know, (laughs) I know. I was just fantasizing.

Joe Rogan 0:22 Are you still in Indianapolis?

Ms. Pat 0:24 Um, unfortunately.

Joe Rogan 0:25 You don't like it there?

Ms. Pat 0:26 Hell no.

Joe Rogan 0:27 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 0:28 I, I like my fans, but I, I'm, I'm Black, and, uh, you know, it's snow. And snow and weave-

Joe Rogan 0:33 Oh.

Ms. Pat 0:33 ... don't go together.

Joe Rogan 0:34 Oh.

Ms. Pat 0:34 And it... You know? I just don't like it. It's the same ol'. Everybody eating at Applebee's and Golden Corral.

Joe Rogan 0:41 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 0:41 I need culture. I want-

Joe Rogan 0:42 Culture.

Ms. Pat 0:42 Yeah, culture.

Joe Rogan 0:42 Where would you move? What about Chicago?

Ms. Pat 0:44 I'm cool. I wanna go back to Atlanta.

Joe Rogan 0:46 Atlanta. There you go.

Ms. Pat 0:46 That's where I wanna be. I wanna be in Atlanta. I wanna-

Joe Rogan 0:48 I love Atlanta.

Ms. Pat 0:49 Yes. Man, the food, the people.

Joe Rogan 0:51 Yes, yes.

Ms. Pat 0:52 Uh, I just... I wanna walk out my door and smell Mexican, Indian, all type of spices. All I smell-

Joe Rogan 0:58 Everything.

Ms. Pat 0:58 ... in my community is dog shit and tiki torches. So... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 1:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03 Tiki torches.

Ms. Pat 1:04 And dryer sheets.

Joe Rogan 1:05 Ah!

Ms. Pat 1:05 (laughs) 'Cause white women do they laundry. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08 Dryer sheets.

Ms. Pat 1:09 Yeah, I need some culture. I need to walk outside and see all types of people.

Joe Rogan 1:12 And isn't it weird how places just never develop a lot of culture? Some places just... The spots just never get any more interesting.

Ms. Pat 1:20 Yeah, it's just... It's so boring. Everybody go to church.

Joe Rogan 1:23 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 1:23 Nobody curse. And when I come out my door, and if I'm talking to a neighbor and I use profan- "Oh my God." I say, "I'm not gonna change my language because you decide to walk your dog today and stop and talk to me."

Joe Rogan 1:34 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 1:34 You tried to talk to me. And everybody pick up they dog shit-

Joe Rogan 1:37 Oh, man.

Ms. Pat 1:37 ... in my community. And, and where I'm from, (laughs) hey, that was fertilizer. So... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:43 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 1:43 You see your neighbor with a big old pound of dog crap in his hand, I'm like, "Dude, no. No."

Joe Rogan 1:47 I don't think it works as fertilizer 'cause my dog pisses and shits on the lawn. It just leaves these big old, like, yellow spots-

Ms. Pat 1:53 Yeah, but if you leave it-

Joe Rogan 1:54 ... where the grass dies.

Ms. Pat 1:54 ... alone enough, uh, and it rains on 'em, they just go into the grass.

Joe Rogan 1:57 That's true.

Ms. Pat 1:57 They don't kill the gra-... It don't kill the grass.

Joe Rogan 2:00 I think the piss does. The piss seems to kill the grass.

Ms. Pat 2:02 Well, I don't know. We didn't have no grass.

Joe Rogan 2:04 Hmm.

Ms. Pat 2:04 Everybody walked through the grass. I just... I didn't care about lawns until I bought... became, became a homeowner.

Joe Rogan 2:10 Yeah. Homeowners care about lawns.

Ms. Pat 2:12 Homeowners care about a lot of crap.

Joe Rogan 2:13 You have to.

Ms. Pat 2:14 Yeah. I have a rental property in Atlanta. If-

Joe Rogan 2:17 Ooh.

Ms. Pat 2:17 ... I can get rid of that, I would never, ever... Black people come up with some of the strangest things why they ain't got they rent. Like, I supposed to care. I tell 'em, "Bank of America don't care that your mama... that your d- your grandchild had a seizure. I need my rent money. Put a spoon in his mouth." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:35 (laughs) Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 2:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:36 Jesus Christ. (laughs) Tell 'em about CBD.

Ms. Pat 2:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 2:39 Keeps you from getting seizures.

Ms. Pat 2:41 (laughs) Uh, I mean, I've had so... Uh, I just... I'll be so glad when I can get rid of this property.

Joe Rogan 2:45 So, you own a place in Atlanta?

Ms. Pat 2:46 Yes.

Joe Rogan 2:46 Would you live there at the place that you own?

Ms. Pat 2:48 Hell no.

Joe Rogan 2:49 No?

Ms. Pat 2:50 No, I wouldn't live there. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:50 You don't like the spot?

Ms. Pat 2:51 I'm a little too bougie for that now, Joe.

Joe Rogan 2:53 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 2:53 I'm a little too bougie.

Joe Rogan 2:54 Too much success.

Ms. Pat 2:54 I got healthcare. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:56 Too much success, Ms. Pat?

Ms. Pat 2:57 No, not too much success. I'm a little too bougie to live back where... But I'll rent it out. I'll rent it out. It's a nice place.

Joe Rogan 3:02 But you would live in Atlanta somewhere else?

Ms. Pat 3:04 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:05 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 3:05 I wanna go to Peachtree City, Kennesaw.

Joe Rogan 3:08 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 3:09 Yeah, I wanna build-

Joe Rogan 3:09 I would live in Atlanta. I love Atlanta. Why don't you, um, make your way down there? What's, what's holding you in, in Indianapolis?

Ms. Pat 3:15 Healthcare, Jeff. Healthcare.

Joe Rogan 3:16 Oh.

Ms. Pat 3:16 My husband has a really good job that we pays nothing.

Joe Rogan 3:19 Oh.

Ms. Pat 3:20 His knee just went out, his hand done gone out.

Joe Rogan 3:22 Oh, no.

Ms. Pat 3:23 And, uh, I can't pay for them types of things.

Joe Rogan 3:25 What? Uh, damn.

Ms. Pat 3:27 He tore his ACL running to the cafeteria at work.

Joe Rogan 3:30 Oh.

Ms. Pat 3:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:30 I've done that. I've done... I've tore both of 'em.

Ms. Pat 3:33 You probably were exercising.

Joe Rogan 3:34 Yes.

Ms. Pat 3:34 He was going to get food. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:38 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 3:38 Uh, don't watch this episode of Joe Rogan, baby. I'm sorry. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:43 Tune out now, sir.

Ms. Pat 3:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:45 That's a rough one to recover from. It takes a long time.

Ms. Pat 3:47 Six months.

Joe Rogan 3:47 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 3:48 He was six months. Now he's... He got, uh, carpal tunnel in his hands, so he's getting ready to have hand surgery.

Joe Rogan 3:52 Does he type? What does he, uh...?

Ms. Pat 3:53 He builds the Allison transmission for Allison.

Joe Rogan 3:56 Oh, okay.

Ms. Pat 3:57 For General Motors and all.

Joe Rogan 3:58 So he's constantly mo-

Ms. Pat 3:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:59 ... moving things with his hands.

Ms. Pat 4:00 Yeah, so his hand is always cramping.

Joe Rogan 4:01 Carpal tunnel's a bitch. My mom got that.

Ms. Pat 4:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:03 That's a rough one.

Ms. Pat 4:05 Well, I never had a job where I did that much repetition, you know? I sold drugs and-

Joe Rogan 4:09 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 4:09 ... forged a few checks. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:10 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 4:11 But (laughs) it wasn't an everyday thing I had to do, so...

Joe Rogan 4:13 You have... How many checks you'd have to forge-

Ms. Pat 4:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 4:15 ... before you get carpal tunnel?

Ms. Pat 4:16 Yeah, a lot. So-

Joe Rogan 4:18 That's a lot.

Ms. Pat 4:18 ... uh, once you burn 32, you don't have any more to burn.

Joe Rogan 4:21 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 4:21 You gotta wait 'til somebody steal the next book. Plus I was really young back in the day.

Joe Rogan 4:26 Yeah, damn. So, that's what's keeping you in Indianapolis? That's it-

Ms. Pat 4:29 Healthcare. My husband-

Joe Rogan 4:30 God.

Ms. Pat 4:30 ... got a good job. I need a TV show so I can get some really good healthcare there.

Joe Rogan 4:34 Well, your podcast is launched now.

Ms. Pat 4:36 It is.

Joe Rogan 4:37 What's it ca-... It's called The Pat Down?

Ms. Pat 4:38 The Pat Down.

Joe Rogan 4:39 I like the name.

Ms. Pat 4:39 And I have my own song too.

Joe Rogan 4:41 Oh, thank you.

Ms. Pat 4:41 Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:42 We're talking about Ari.

Ms. Pat 4:43 Yes.

Joe Rogan 4:43 About Ari getting in trouble for putting other people's songs on his podcast, and they demonetized his podcast.

Ms. Pat 4:49 Yeah, my nephew, um, may I s- um, Riverdale Shawty, made me my own little Pat Down song.

Joe Rogan 4:54 Oh, nice.

Ms. Pat 4:55 So, yeah. So-

Joe Rogan 4:55 Oh, somebody made a song for you? That's beautiful.

Ms. Pat 4:57 Yeah, yeah. I, I was just trying to do something different. It's only 30 minutes of me talking crap about whatever's going on in my life. You hear the-

Joe Rogan 5:05 Perfect.

Ms. Pat 5:05 You hear my kids in the background getting cussed out. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:09 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 5:09 You hear the creditor calling me. And, um, my co-host is a little white boy named Chris who don't know nothing about Black America. And then I got my friend who just, um, uh, he's ready to go march if you, if you need him to.

Joe Rogan 5:23 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 5:23 So, I got... (laughs) I got this libertarian and this crazy-ass Democrat together, and I'm down the middle to say, "Hey, we can all get along." And they hated each other at first.

Joe Rogan 5:32 How'd you get them together?

Ms. Pat 5:34 Because they hated each other. He-

Joe Rogan 5:35 So you did it on purpose?

Ms. Pat 5:36 Yeah, my Black friend thought-

Joe Rogan 5:37 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 5:37 ... Chris was racist. I was like, "No. I know racist. He's not racist. He's just naive to the fact." And so I put 'em together-

Joe Rogan 5:44 He's not what?

Ms. Pat 5:45 Naived.

Joe Rogan 5:46 Ived?

Ms. Pat 5:46 Na-... Tell 'em what I'm trying to say. Naive.

Joe Rogan 5:48 Oh, naive. Naive.

Ms. Pat 5:49 Naive, yeah.

Joe Rogan 5:50 Oh.

Ms. Pat 5:50 You gotta translate, you know how the US of A per-

Joe Rogan 5:51 Naived. I was like-

Ms. Pat 5:52 Yeah, naive.

Joe Rogan 5:52 ... is that, like, Adam and Eve? Like, I was like...

Ms. Pat 5:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:54 I was trying to go with it. I was, where are we going?

Ms. Pat 5:55 It was naive, but it sounded like Adam and Eve. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:58 Yes.

Ms. Pat 5:58 So, it... He just didn't understand. So, we get 'em together, and we have these conversation about race, and, uh, we did an episode about abortion, and Chris was like... He's really Christian.

Joe Rogan 6:08 Oh.

Ms. Pat 6:08 And he was like... I was like, "Do you believe a woman should have a right to have an abortion?" He just pitter-pattered on around. I said...... it's craz-- just say yes or fucking no. And finally he said, "I don't believe a woman should have an abortion."

Joe Rogan 6:18 Oh.

Ms. Pat 6:18 I say, "That's fine, but this is my vagina and I can do what I wanna do with it. If I wanna stick firecrackers in my vagina-

Joe Rogan 6:24 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 6:24 ... and turn it into the Fourth of July, Joe Rogan, this is my vagina. As long as I don't get no vagina juice on you."

Joe Rogan 6:32 That makes sense.

Ms. Pat 6:32 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:32 Um, Atlanta's got a problem now with that, right? Isn't that Georgia just passed a- a new abortion law? A lot of people are abor-

Ms. Pat 6:38 I don't think it's passed yet, but if they try-

Joe Rogan 6:39 Tiffany had a sh- she just canceled her shows.

Ms. Pat 6:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:42 Yeah, she just canceled her shows in Atlanta because I think it passed. I think that was the idea. That's why she canceled it.

Ms. Pat 6:48 I don't think it passed, Joe, 'cause all, the-

Joe Rogan 6:49 (sighs)

Ms. Pat 6:49 ... the TV people haven't pulled out yet.

Joe Rogan 6:51 Oh.

Ms. Pat 6:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:52 You think they would if it passed?

Ms. Pat 6:54 (clicks tongue) I think they would.

Joe Rogan 6:55 I think they're making tax money.

Ms. Pat 6:56 I really think they would. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:56 Atlanta got them in there because of tax money.

Ms. Pat 6:58 Yeah, and I think they'll leave and they'll, you know-

Joe Rogan 7:00 You think so?

Ms. Pat 7:00 ... a lot of people lose their jobs.

Joe Rogan 7:02 (inhales through teeth) I don't think they're gonna leave.

Ms. Pat 7:05 I don't think nobody should be telling us what to do with our bodies.

Joe Rogan 7:07 I don't think so either.

Ms. Pat 7:08 Yeah, that mean, that, you know, I- I've been shot in the titty. I, my, one of my nipples messed up.

Joe Rogan 7:12 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 7:12 So that's like you trying to tell me I should get my titty fixed. If I don't want my titty fixed, it's my prerogative. I shouldn't have to have my titty fixed. Right, Joe?

Joe Rogan 7:20 How do you feel about late-term abortions? That's where people get scared.

Ms. Pat 7:24 (sighs) Now, I- I don't think-

Joe Rogan 7:25 That gets- that gets squirrely.

Ms. Pat 7:26 Yeah, I don't think you should be killing no, having no abortion in no six and eight months now.

Joe Rogan 7:30 I agree with you.

Ms. Pat 7:30 And I don't think it should be recreation either, 'cause I had an abortion.

Joe Rogan 7:33 Recuri- get recreational?

Ms. Pat 7:34 Yeah, yeah, just doing it for fun, recreation.

Joe Rogan 7:36 Oh.

Ms. Pat 7:36 I like how you translate for me.

Joe Rogan 7:37 Who the hell wants abortions for fun? (laughs)

Ms. Pat 7:38 Oh, I've had a few friends... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:41 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 7:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:41 What are you gonna do today?

Ms. Pat 7:42 I-

Joe Rogan 7:42 Well, I was thinking about riding a rollercoaster, but fuck it, I'll get an abortion.

Ms. Pat 7:45 I've had a few friends that had quite a few abortions. Now-

Joe Rogan 7:47 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 7:47 ... I've had one myself. I mean, my, in my situation, I think everybody's situation is different. My situation, I was, I already had my first baby at 14, my second child at 15, and it was by a married man. Well, I got pregnant by this married man again and I just looked at myself. I said, "Here I am, 16, pregnant with my third child. I cannot take care of the two I got." And you know, it wasn't, all of this stuff, like what they tell you about birth control and safe sex, that wasn't going on in the '80s. You know, people was shutting they doors and talking, wouldn't even talk about it.

Joe Rogan 8:16 Well, especially when you were a little kid. You were, you were-

Ms. Pat 8:18 Yeah, when you, I'm 14, so I should-

Joe Rogan 8:19 You were a little kid.

Ms. Pat 8:20 I was a kid. So when I got pregnant with my third child, I- I became emancipated minor and divorced my mom and I went and got (gasps) an abortion.

Joe Rogan 8:29 Wow.

Ms. Pat 8:29 Because I knew he wasn't helping me with the first two.

Joe Rogan 8:33 That's so crazy.

Ms. Pat 8:34 So I couldn't take a third.

Joe Rogan 8:35 You told the story on the first podcast, and it's still to this day sometimes I'll be doing something and I'll just think about your story and just go (mimics explosion) .

Ms. Pat 8:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 8:44 Whoo! Selling drugs as a teenager, pregnant with two kids by the time you're 16. That's crazy.

Ms. Pat 8:49 By a married man.

Joe Rogan 8:50 Crazy.

Ms. Pat 8:51 In jail. I mean, I dropped out of school in the eighth grade. You know, all of that stuff. And I just said, I said, "I don't want my kids to end up like me." So I was like, "I can't keep having these babies." And I, and after that I got on birth control and I just prayed. I said, "Lord, I don't want no more kids by this bum."

Joe Rogan 9:06 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 9:06 And I never got pregnant till I got married.

Joe Rogan 9:10 Well, that's good.

Ms. Pat 9:10 Yeah. So now I have those two. You know, I used to tell a bit about I got a set of Medicaid kids and a set of Blue Cross Blue Shield kids. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:19 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 9:19 So I waited till they got older and, I mean, I got older and I- I became, I gotta, I- I started to learn about life. He taught me a lot. And so, I had those last two and I tied my tubes.

Joe Rogan 9:29 Very, very good move.

Ms. Pat 9:31 Yeah, I'm glad.

Joe Rogan 9:31 Four is enough. Four is-

Ms. Pat 9:32 Four is more than enough.

Joe Rogan 9:33 That's a good number.

Ms. Pat 9:34 But, you know, Joe, I'm Black, so my family smoke crack, so they keep giving me their kids. (laughs) So-

Joe Rogan 9:39 Oh, that's true too. Yeah.

Ms. Pat 9:40 I had to tie my tubes to make room for the crack babies that keep coming in and out of my house. (blows) I'm raising four right now.

Joe Rogan 9:47 Really?

Ms. Pat 9:47 Yeah, I have my niece, my niece, um... I- I picked up my niece, like, five years ago to help her out. Oh, she had a baby that was two weeks old. And I have this thing, like, all kids deserve a solid foundation, because I didn't have one. So I picked... And this is my third set of kids I've raised, and I'm just 47. So I picked my niece up, sh- baby two weeks old, and she got three other kids. I said, "Okay, I got this big house in Indianapolis. Come live with me. I got three, four extra bedroom." Well, this bitch ran off and left me with them kids. (laughs) Now I have a five, uh, eight-

Joe Rogan 10:18 She left you with her kids?

Ms. Pat 10:19 Yeah, and a 10 and 11 year old. And I've had these kids for six years, and I literally have not seen my niece in almost four years.

Joe Rogan 10:28 Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 10:28 No phone call, no nothing. And, you know, I'm trying to build a career. So I have a daughter who... M- my whole, my, all my, my kids who was at the house now had to make a major sacrifice. Like, my daughter couldn't go off to college because she didn't wanna leave my husband with these four kids. So she went to college in Indianapolis, but she stay- she went mostly from, you know, home. My son couldn't go off to college because they at home helping raise these four kids that I call my crack babies.

Joe Rogan 10:57 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 10:57 But they at home raising my crack babies (laughs) because you don't wanna leave my husband with all four-

Joe Rogan 11:01 Oh.

Ms. Pat 11:01 ... of these crack babies by theyselves. So, you know-

Joe Rogan 11:05 And where, where is the mother?

Ms. Pat 11:07 You wanna hear something crazy? The bitch blocked me on Facebook, Joe. She won't even let me be her friend (laughs) on Facebook.

Joe Rogan 11:12 What? You're taking care of her children?

Ms. Pat 11:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:15 And she blocked you on Facebook?

Ms. Pat 11:16 She-

Joe Rogan 11:16 Why'd she block you?

Ms. Pat 11:18 'Cause I kept saying, "I'm gonna kill you, bitch." I told- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:21 (laughs) (clapping)

Ms. Pat 11:24 Joe.

Joe Rogan 11:24 Oh!

Ms. Pat 11:25 I was ready to live my best life. I said, "Oh-

Joe Rogan 11:27 Uh...

Ms. Pat 11:27 ... I'm making some money. Me and my husband will go to Hawaii, get naked, float in the water."

Joe Rogan 11:30 Right?

Ms. Pat 11:30 And bam, four crack babies.

Joe Rogan 11:32 Uh...

Ms. Pat 11:32 You can't do that when you can't... You know how much a ticket to Hawaii cost? I can't take them crack babies-

Joe Rogan 11:37 Oh.

Ms. Pat 11:38 ... (laughs) with me. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:38 Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 11:39 (laughs) I love them.

Joe Rogan 11:40 That's so crazy.

Ms. Pat 11:41 Yeah. So I, I mean, it changed, it's changed everything. And then, you know, my, when she left and she didn't even give me custody. I had to go and hire this lawyer and go and get custody because she just ran off. And I asked the, you know, the welfare system in Indianapolis, I said, "Can y'all just give me childcare?" 'Cause childcare was gonna be like $800 a week. Because my kids was in high school when she left. And they was like, "No, we can't give you that, but we will give you Medicaid and $300."... they get, they didn't, they didn't give me shit.

Joe Rogan 12:11 Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 12:12 So I just, I just made a way myself and I said, "You know what? I've had this baby since she was two weeks old." How do you drop a baby that you've had since she was two weeks old?

Joe Rogan 12:21 It's basically your baby now.

Ms. Pat 12:22 Yeah, you can't, I can't give up. I love her.

Joe Rogan 12:23 Especially since the mom blocked you.

Ms. Pat 12:25 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:26 That is so fucking crazy the mother blocked you.

Ms. Pat 12:29 On Facebook.

Joe Rogan 12:29 Do you know where she is?

Ms. Pat 12:30 No.

Joe Rogan 12:31 Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 12:32 No, but we did make a secret account, right, of a nice fine man like yourself, Joe Rogan, nice fine Black man, and we f- we, we friended her, so she is set-

Joe Rogan 12:41 Oh, you pretended.

Ms. Pat 12:41 ... as a friend, so she don't know that that's us, but she only listen to your podcast, so I can tell.

Joe Rogan 12:46 Ah.

Ms. Pat 12:46 So we follow her like that. So she's on the other side of town getting high.

Joe Rogan 12:51 Oh.

Ms. Pat 12:51 Never hit me up. Never talk about the kids.

Joe Rogan 12:54 That's so crazy.

Ms. Pat 12:55 You know, I don't get a dime from nobody. Nobody. And I don't ask for nothing. I mean, I'm just, at this point, I'm thankful that I can even take care of these kids 'cause my sister was on drugs and I took care of her kids. My niece who's on drugs now, I took care of them for 10 years with my husband.

Joe Rogan 13:11 And she's on drugs now?

Ms. Pat 13:12 The daughter's on drugs. Well, my sister got them back and got them all on drugs like her.

Joe Rogan 13:16 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 13:17 So I made sure that these kids can't go back to that situation. Now I call them my bougie crack babies. They won't even eat McDonald's, only Chick-fil-A. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:27 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 13:27 They be like, "Oh, we don't eat McDonald's. We eat Chick-fil-A." And I was like, "I remember when your ass didn't eat at all, baby." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:38 (laughs) Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 13:39 They give me great material, but it's, it's not easy, but I'm, you know-

Joe Rogan 13:43 Do they know you call them crack babies?

Ms. Pat 13:45 No, they don't see a-

Joe Rogan 13:46 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 13:48 (laughs) My husband says, "Stop calling these damn kids crack babies."

Joe Rogan 13:51 Oh, Jesus.

Ms. Pat 13:51 I'm like, "He's a crack baby." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:53 Fuck. Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 13:55 They don't know I call them crack babies. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 13:57 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 13:57 Only America know that I call them crack babies, but y'all can't call them crack babies.

Joe Rogan 14:02 Oh my God. So do they, do they call you mom?

Ms. Pat 14:04 Uh, they do and it's kind of weird.

Joe Rogan 14:07 Oh, that's cool. That's cool, though.

Ms. Pat 14:07 So they just started calling me mom out of nowhere. I'm like, "Don't call me fucking mom, I'm an auntie."

Joe Rogan 14:12 Aw.

Ms. Pat 14:12 And, but n- now I just let them go.

Joe Rogan 14:13 That's beautiful.

Ms. Pat 14:15 Well, they go to school and they see all the, you know, I live in this white community, and they see all these kids with a mom and a daddy, and they say, "Well, why don't we have it?" And they just started calling me mom.

Joe Rogan 14:23 Aw.

Ms. Pat 14:23 And so we're mom. And my daughter who, um, she just graduated from college, but she's, they got two moms and then my dad, my husband is, uh, their daddy.

Joe Rogan 14:32 Aw.

Ms. Pat 14:32 Yes.

Joe Rogan 14:33 I love that.

Ms. Pat 14:34 Well, thank you. Thank you.

Joe Rogan 14:35 You, that's a beautiful thing you're doing. It really is, even though the, the lady's a cunt.

Ms. Pat 14:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:39 She's abandoning her kids. It's-

Ms. Pat 14:40 No, in the Black community, she's a bitch.

Joe Rogan 14:42 Yeah. She get-

Ms. Pat 14:42 That's what she is.

Joe Rogan 14:43 Those kids got lucky. They got lucky they got you.

Ms. Pat 14:45 They really did.

Joe Rogan 14:45 They really did.

Ms. Pat 14:46 I took them on a Disney cruise last year, Joe, and oh my God, they had the time of their life. I said, "Look at my crack babies." They don't know-

Joe Rogan 14:56 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 14:56 (laughs) They don't know what I done saved them from at a crack house. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:58 Oh my God what you saved them from, and they're on a Disney cruise, right?

Ms. Pat 15:01 Yeah, they were. I said, "Look at these crack babies on a Disney cruise with matching outfits." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:07 Oh.

Ms. Pat 15:07 But I love them. I mean-

Joe Rogan 15:08 That's amazing that you're doing that. It really is. I mean, I know it's hard, but it's amazing that you're doing that.

Ms. Pat 15:12 Well, you know, like I said earlier, every, every child deserve a, a, a s- solid foundation to start on. Unfortunately for me, I didn't have that solid foundation. I didn't have nobody to step in my life and, you know, snatch me from my mom.

Joe Rogan 15:25 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 15:25 But, you know, whenever I see a c- child in need, especially a family member, I always try to step in, because I know, I know when you don't have that solid foundation where you can end up. And some kids end up, y- you know, fucked up even with a solid foundation.

Joe Rogan 15:40 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 15:40 But if you can give them a good start, at least give them a good start.

Joe Rogan 15:44 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 15:44 And that's all I ever wanted to do.

Joe Rogan 15:46 That's beautiful.

Ms. Pat 15:47 Yeah, and 7's Learning Center is killing me. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:51 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 15:51 I put these Black crack babies in this white community. These kids been reading since they were two. They were whooping my Black baby ass, J- uh, Joe Rogan.

Joe Rogan 15:57 So they need tutors?

Ms. Pat 15:58 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 15:59 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 15:59 (laughs) I'm like, I took it all kinda long. I'm like, "Hoo, I'll be glad when you crack babies catch up. I'll be glad when y'all catch up."

Joe Rogan 16:05 We gotta get this podcast to take off.

Ms. Pat 16:07 Yes, yes, yes. So I don't play-

Joe Rogan 16:08 You don't need a TV show these days. You don't.

Ms. Pat 16:11 Y-

Joe Rogan 16:11 You just need that podcast to keep going.

Ms. Pat 16:13 I know. I kn- I'm enjoying it, too. I didn't realize-

Joe Rogan 16:15 But you're perfect for it. Like, that's what we were talking about at The Comedy Store the last time I saw you.

Ms. Pat 16:19 04:00 in the morning.

Joe Rogan 16:20 I was like, "You've got to. You have to."

Ms. Pat 16:22 You right. You right, and I really like it, too.

Joe Rogan 16:25 I knew you ... I, I was like, "It doesn't make any sense that you don't have one."

Ms. Pat 16:29 Yep. And I mean, I'm enjoying it. 30 minutes. They be, "Oh, Ms. Pat, give me more." I'm like, "Excuse me, I'm sitting here with no wig on, no bra."

Joe Rogan 16:36 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 16:36 "I ain't taking no bath. I, and Chris might be smelling me after 35 minutes. This is all you gonna get." Plus, you know, he come over at 4:00, 03:00, and then my babies come in the door at 04:00, so I'm like, "Sit your ass down!" I'm screaming and hollering, and I gotta go fix food, and I mean, I got a life. I'm married. I can't sit there for, you know, all day.

Joe Rogan 16:54 30 minutes is fine.

Ms. Pat 16:56 And I like it.

Joe Rogan 16:57 It's perfect. As long as you're consistent, that's the whole thing is, like, be consistent. Don't take weeks off. Like, when, when people take, like, four weeks off, five weeks off, people forget, and then-

Ms. Pat 17:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:06 ... they're, they're not interested in your podcast anymore. But if you, if you're just consistent and you just keep doing it, people get ... it becomes a part of their routine, and then they tell people, "You gotta listen to Ms. Pat's podcast." And the next thing you know, by word of mouth, it just spreads.

Ms. Pat 17:19 Yeah, and that, and, and I mean, we, we have so many episodes in the bank, you know.

Joe Rogan 17:22 How many do you have?

Ms. Pat 17:23 I think we got probably 20 in the bank.

Joe Rogan 17:26 Beautiful.

Ms. Pat 17:26 Yeah, they wasn't as good as the ones that I put out regular, but, you know, when I first started, I was kind of shy, and I'm like, "Oh, these-"

Joe Rogan 17:32 What? You?

Ms. Pat 17:33 I'm s- I'm, I'm Southern. You don't have-

Joe Rogan 17:35 What?

Ms. Pat 17:35 Look how many times you, uh, you have to say, "What the fuck did you just say, Ms. Pat?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:39 (laughs) Well, you're not shy.

Ms. Pat 17:40 I was kinda shy at the beginning.

Joe Rogan 17:41 That's the last word I would ever use for you.

Ms. Pat 17:44 I fight, but I'm kinda shy, Joe. I mean, you know, y- 'cause I'm country, and people are like, "What the fuck did you say?"

Joe Rogan 17:50 Uh-

Ms. Pat 17:51 I, I did, I actually talked about you on my first one. So when I first did-

Joe Rogan 17:54 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 17:55 ... your podcast, it was this story out that Joe Rogan is a badass and he choked out a mountain lion. And I was like, "I don't wanna go talk to no white man who choked out-

Joe Rogan 18:04 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 18:04 ... a fucking mountain lion."

Joe Rogan 18:05 That's a made up story.

Ms. Pat 18:06 I know, but I didn't know at first, and I was so scared, Joe, and I kept-

Joe Rogan 18:09 You thought it was a mountain lion killer? Like I was out there choking lions? (laughs)

Ms. Pat 18:13 What, what, oh.... I'm used to Black people doing drive-bys, but I ain't used to white people just choking out a mountain lion.

Joe Rogan 18:19 Uh-

Ms. Pat 18:19 So I'm trying to figure out how the fuck he get up on a mountain lion and he got the-

Joe Rogan 18:22 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 18:24 (laughs) How do a white man sneak up on a mountain lion from behind and choke the shit out of him? He gotta be strong as fuck. So I kept digging, and I realized the story wasn't real. I was like, (sighs) I didn't wanna talk to no white dude who choked out a mountain lion. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:39 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 18:39 Then I started, you know, I see you with that big old weight and shit, that big old horse head wear, I was like, "I know he killed that fucking mountain lion."

Joe Rogan 18:46 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 18:46 But it took a while for me to realize. It took about two, about a month before I realized that story wasn't real. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:53 My own sister didn't think... My own sister thought it was real.

Ms. Pat 18:56 Really?

Joe Rogan 18:56 She texted me. She goes, "You really choke on a mountain lion?"

Ms. Pat 18:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 18:59 I'm like, "The fuck is wrong with you?"

Ms. Pat 19:01 Well, you a badass.

Joe Rogan 19:01 "Get outta Florida."

Ms. Pat 19:02 You a badass. You, I mean, only you can sneak up on a mountain lion and choke the shit out of him.

Joe Rogan 19:07 I don't think so. I don't think so.

Ms. Pat 19:08 Well-

Joe Rogan 19:08 I run with a knife. When I run, I, I carry a knife with me just in case, 'cause there's mountain lions in my community.

Ms. Pat 19:14 Really?

Joe Rogan 19:14 Yeah, yeah. They've seen 'em. And I run with my dog, and if a mountain lion tries to jack me or my dog, I wanna have something on me.

Ms. Pat 19:21 So you, you... If he jack your dog, you gonna stab him?

Joe Rogan 19:24 Fuck yeah.

Ms. Pat 19:25 You know, I was just telling the story about my... You know, I'm from the South, right? So back in the day, and don't get offended, people, but, you know, dog fighting is big in the South.

Joe Rogan 19:32 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 19:32 So we didn't fight, like, no dangerous shit. We just put some Now and Laters on the ground. Whoever dog get the best, they winning Now and Later. Well, my dog was named Pup Pup.

Joe Rogan 19:40 Now or Later? You mean, like, candy?

Ms. Pat 19:42 Now and Laters.

Joe Rogan 19:43 Candy?

Ms. Pat 19:44 The candy, yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:45 The candy.

Ms. Pat 19:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:45 So you f- have the dogs fight over candy?

Ms. Pat 19:47 Yeah. Eh, w- w- we would split 'em.

Joe Rogan 19:49 Oh, shit.

Ms. Pat 19:49 Me and my dog used to split the candy whenever we went. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:54 (laughs) The dog gets some candy if it wins?

Ms. Pat 19:55 Well, Black dogs used to eat anything back then. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 19:58 Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 19:58 Collard green, pig feet, whatever black... Black people didn't buy dog food. So we would, we would... Me and my dog would fight a lot, but if you got the best of my dog, I would jump in and whoop your dog ass.

Joe Rogan 20:07 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 20:07 'Cause I... You was not gonna whoop my old-ass German shepherd ass.

Joe Rogan 20:11 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 20:11 Now don't be calling in, be talking about I'm abusing the dog 'cause I don't own no fucking dogs. I got four crack babies and I don't have an animal. This was back in the day and I was a little girl. But that's what we used to do.

Joe Rogan 20:21 It is a, a big thing in the South, period. I knew a guy, uh, who had 30 pit bulls in his backyard. He had these, uh, boxes-

Ms. Pat 20:29 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 20:30 ... like, that he would... The dogs lived in these little dog houses, and they were chained to a post, and they were in his yard. And, uh, I di- I didn't see it. My friend was telling me about it, but I knew the guy.

Ms. Pat 20:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:39 And he, he lived down... He lived in Kentucky? Yeah, he lived in Kentucky. And, um, they fought dogs.

Ms. Pat 20:46 Well, we, we only did... It was just kids. We only like... Well, I mean, whoever dog get the best of whoever dog, they, that's the winner now.

Joe Rogan 20:52 Right.

Ms. Pat 20:52 So if I thought Pup Pup was about to get, go down on his back, I would jump in and put your dog in a chokehold, 'cause I like wrestling. (laughs) I would freaking fo-

Joe Rogan 21:00 With dogs?

Ms. Pat 21:00 Yeah. I, I would freaking fold the shit outta your dog. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:03 Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 21:03 I was not losing them Now and Laters, Joe. We didn't eat a lot. I couldn't lose, I couldn't lose my only meal that day.

Joe Rogan 21:08 Your only meal was Now and Laters, really?

Ms. Pat 21:10 Some days.

Joe Rogan 21:11 For real?

Ms. Pat 21:11 And me and Pup Pup would sit on the sidewalk, be like, "We whooped his ass, didn't we, Pup Pup?" And we'll split the Now and Laters.

Joe Rogan 21:15 Wow. There's a lot of people right now listening, like, "Is this lady for real?" And I can ashu- assure them that you are.

Ms. Pat 21:23 I'm for real, y'all.

Joe Rogan 21:23 You've had a crazy fucking life, you know? I mean, there's so many people that are insulated from the kind of life that you've had. They don't know anybody like you, you know? So-

Ms. Pat 21:31 Oh, I'm realizing that Chris, my producer, I scare the shit outta him. He's like, "Why you yelling at me?" I'm like, "Chris, I'm not yelling."

Joe Rogan 21:39 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 21:39 You will know when a Black woman is yelling. When she go to twisting her neck and taking off her wig and unbuckling her bra, I'm yelling.

Joe Rogan 21:46 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 21:46 I'm just talking. My voice, I have a deep voice, and it's, it carries. Uh, you know what's crazy? 'Cause like I say, he's a little white kid from Indianapolis. And, uh, so I'm talking t- on the podcast, and I'm teaching him about Black pussy incense. You ever heard of that?

Joe Rogan 22:00 Black pussy incense?

Ms. Pat 22:01 Yeah. You know, that you burn, that Black people used to burn in their house?

Joe Rogan 22:04 I know about incense, but I didn't know about Black-

Ms. Pat 22:05 Yeah, it used to be called Black pussy.

Joe Rogan 22:07 Oh.

Ms. Pat 22:07 He swore me down it wasn't real. So we put out the podcast. Everybody was like, "My mama say Black pussy incense." It was the best scent out there, Joe.

Joe Rogan 22:14 Oh, okay.

Ms. Pat 22:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:20 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 22:24 You looking like, "What did it smell like?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:25 I like incense.

Ms. Pat 22:27 Yeah, that was the name of it, and I told J- I told him about it, and he's like, "What are you talking about?" I'm like, "I'm telling you, Black pussy incense." Everybody listen to R. Kelly and burnt Black pussy incense on a Saturday morning, clean they house.

Joe Rogan 22:38 Everybody listen to R. Kelly and burnt Black pussy incense.

Ms. Pat 22:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 22:41 Holy shit. Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 22:45 (laughs) So every weekend, every week, I'm teaching him something that he has never heard of.

Joe Rogan 22:49 What do you think about all this R. Kelly shit?

Ms. Pat 22:53 (laughs) Um, I think he did it, Joe.

Joe Rogan 22:57 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 22:57 I mean, but people just looked-

Joe Rogan 22:59 Well, it's pretty obvious.

Ms. Pat 22:59 People just looked away, you know?

Joe Rogan 23:01 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 23:01 It, it's, it... I, I tell a bit on stage. I said, "Something about a big dick man, big dick Black man that can't read, they puts it down. They have awesome women." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:11 (laughs) They can't read, they put it down. Oh.

Ms. Pat 23:14 My first kids' father couldn't read. (laughs) When, when they ain't got no side teeth and they can't read, they got the best sex, 'cause they practice all the time. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:22 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 23:24 Black mens who can't read don't, don't have sex like Black mens who got a nine-to-five, who can read. The sex is totally different.

Joe Rogan 23:31 Because they're not tired.

Ms. Pat 23:33 Because they practice. All they do is practice on women. Man, you got... My husband gotta go to work, Joe. He ain't got time to be flipping me over, slapping me across the head. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:46 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 23:46 He ain't got time for all that ghetto love.

Joe Rogan 23:48 Oh my God, I'm crying.

Ms. Pat 23:50 (laughs) He ain't got time for all that ghetto love.

Joe Rogan 23:52 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 23:52 But when you got a brother that can't read and don't work, the best sex.

Joe Rogan 23:56 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 23:56 Now, he ain't gonna go to work, but he gonna watch The Young and the Restless.

Joe Rogan 23:59 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 23:59 And The Housewives of Atlanta. But you, when you know when he get back, that, that dick is laying on that pillow for you. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:10 Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 24:12 So (laughs) I know what Whitney Houston went through. Everybody like, "Bye, bad guy!"... shit, and I was like, "That's that dick Bobby putting down." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:18 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 24:19 And you know he had to work even harder because he had more money den him.

Joe Rogan 24:22 Right.

Ms. Pat 24:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:23 That's true.

Ms. Pat 24:24 So-

Joe Rogan 24:24 Somebody had a meme they put up on the Instagram the other day of, uh, how every dude whose girlfriend is paying for everything stands, and it's like a guy standing with his arm deep around the girl, like deep around holding onto her-

Ms. Pat 24:36 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 24:36 ... while they're waiting in line for things.

Ms. Pat 24:38 Baby, uh, in public always, baby holding their hand.

Joe Rogan 24:41 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 24:41 You can't get my husband to hold my hand.

Joe Rogan 24:43 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 24:43 You know why? 'Cause he pay the mortgage. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:46 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 24:47 I said, I called him yesterday, I said, "I love you." He say, "Thank you. I'm in the bed." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:51 Oh, that's hilarious. Thank you.

Ms. Pat 24:52 I was on the phone with my friend one day, (laughs) my, so, so I said, "Listen to my husband." My husband funny as fuck. (laughs) So I say, "Hey." I said, uh, "Baby, you want some pussy?" He say, "Not at all." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:07 (laughs) My friend said, "Did he say not at all?" And I said, "Guess what? He snoring already. He's snoring already." (laughs)

Ms. Pat 25:19 We have that type of relationship. I say, "Hey, I'm gonna need you to fuck me on the 14 'cause I think I'm ovulating. I need to get some stuff off my chest." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:25 Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 25:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:28 Ugh.

Ms. Pat 25:28 He say, "Not at all, Joe." We bought a Sleep Number bed and he was like, 'cause his knee was messed up, he bought a Sleep Number bed. "I'm gonna put it there every night." I'm like, "Fuck yeah." So I had just got a deal with Fox for my TV show, so I walk in there, I walk in the damn, um, Sleep Number like a real negro when they get some money. Give me the best fucking bed that you want, 'cause I'm gonna fuck every night. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:52 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 25:52 They sold me a $13,000 Sleep Number bed, but I should've known he wasn't gonna do shit 'cause he was insistent on getting the mattress that split down the middle. You know, the two mattresses separate.

Joe Rogan 26:01 Right.

Ms. Pat 26:01 That shit split down the middle and now every time I wanna have sex, I gotta tell him, "Hey, you wanna come to America and get some pussy?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:08 (laughs) Come to America. (laughs) Ahh! Ahh!

Ms. Pat 26:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:16 You wanna come to America? (laughs) Who's, who's got the harder b- side?

Ms. Pat 26:22 He do. He do. (laughs) He's like, "I ain't fucking with you on that mattress. It's too soft on there. Come over here." And in that we done gave up. We just fuck in the middle and then by the time we get mid, through, the fucking mattress done fell off the bed 'cause we in the middle where the hole at.

Joe Rogan 26:34 Oh.

Ms. Pat 26:34 (laughs) And half of the time just chips and shit just stuck in the middle. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:39 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 26:39 The remote, my wig, everything just in the middle of the bed. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:45 Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 26:46 Soon as I get my TV show, I'm gonna buy me a mattress that put us back to fucking get up. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 26:53 (laughs) Yeah, I didn't like that Sleep Number bed. I tried that thing out. It's too confusing. I didn't like it.

Ms. Pat 26:59 Um, uh, he loves it, Joe. Every time I come home, he got his feet in the air like he at a gynecologist visit.

Joe Rogan 27:04 Ah. Oh, it's one of those deals.

Ms. Pat 27:06 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:06 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 27:06 And it heats up. I'm like, "This mattress only good for heating your balls up. We could've got you a blow dryer." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:12 Heating your balls up.

Ms. Pat 27:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:14 They, they sell mattresses now that cool you. Mark Sisson was, uh, contacting me. I was telling about that before, yeah. Yeah. I wanna get one. It seems awesome.

Ms. Pat 27:21 I-

Joe Rogan 27:21 Yeah. Sisson was just telling me about that.

Ms. Pat 27:23 I'm going through menopause. I might need to get that too. I'm be heating up, Joe.

Joe Rogan 27:27 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 27:27 That heat, oh, my ti- I'm like, I'm having a hot flash now and I don't wanna drop my titties on your table.

Joe Rogan 27:32 Woo.

Ms. Pat 27:32 (laughs) But boy, I've been-

Joe Rogan 27:33 You gotta be seeing here.

Ms. Pat 27:34 I don't feel it, Joe. When you got the AC-

Joe Rogan 27:36 I'll turn it up for you.

Ms. Pat 27:36 AC can't stop no hot flash. It's like five, five minutes. I'm heating up now, but, yeah, oh, I got-

Joe Rogan 27:42 And it goes away?

Ms. Pat 27:43 Yeah, it goes away.

Joe Rogan 27:44 What, what is that caused by?

Ms. Pat 27:46 I don't know. You gotta ask Mary. I don't know what Mary did in the beginning.

Joe Rogan 27:49 It was Mary with Jesus?

Ms. Pat 27:50 Yeah. No.

Joe Rogan 27:51 Was-

Ms. Pat 27:51 Mary with Jesus? Wasn't that Jesus' mama?

Joe Rogan 27:53 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 27:53 I don't read the Bible.

Joe Rogan 27:54 Who do you mean?

Ms. Pat 27:55 Mary.

Joe Rogan 27:55 Mary who, but who do you mean when you're saying Mary? Gotta ask Mary.

Ms. Pat 27:58 Who's Mary? No, I'm sorry. I'm talking about Eve.

Joe Rogan 27:59 Yeah. Eve. Oh, oh.

Ms. Pat 27:59 The lady who stop, who started the period.

Joe Rogan 28:01 Eve. That bitch.

Ms. Pat 28:01 I'm sorry. I get that... Oh, that bitch. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:03 Yeah, she fucked everything up.

Ms. Pat 28:05 Yeah, Joe. Every time I get-

Joe Rogan 28:06 It's because of that talking snake.

Ms. Pat 28:07 Yeah, that talking snake. Man, them cramps ain't no joke.

Joe Rogan 28:10 Mm.

Ms. Pat 28:10 And now I'm having hot flashes all because this bitch bit of apple.

Joe Rogan 28:13 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 28:13 God, can you give me an opportunity to bite a apple? I won't bite the apple. Take the hot flashes away. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:19 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 28:20 I be on a plane, my titty heat up, there's white men next to me who don't understand why I got my titty in my lap.

Joe Rogan 28:24 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 28:26 I'm fan myself off. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:28 Fanning yourself off?

Ms. Pat 28:28 Yes, yes, yes.

Joe Rogan 28:29 So it comes and goes?

Ms. Pat 28:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:31 Like how l- how, it like lasts five minutes and then you're back to normal?

Ms. Pat 28:33 It last a few minutes and then it'll go back to normal. Like I'm cooling down now.

Joe Rogan 28:36 So like out, out of nowhere, you just get hot?

Ms. Pat 28:38 Yeah, and it hit you in different places. Like mine's is good between my titties, o- on my neck. Some people's is up under they arms, you know, in their-

Joe Rogan 28:46 So a spot? Like one spot when you get hot?

Ms. Pat 28:48 Yeah, mine hit me right here in my titties. My titties heat up, like if you touch them now they about-

Joe Rogan 28:52 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 28:52 ... 95 degrees. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:53 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 28:54 Don't touch them 'cause you're married, but I'm just saying I don't want you burning your fingers. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:57 Here it goes, more than two-thirds of North American women who are headed into menopause have hot flashes. They also affect women who start menopause after chemotherapy or surgery to move their ovaries. Whoa. It doesn't say anything on why it's North American. That's what I was wondering. It says what is a hot flash? It's the sudden feeling of heat, sometimes a red flushed face and sweating. We don't know exactly what causes them, but they may be related to changes in circulation. I guarantee you if they happened to men, they'd know exactly what caused them.

Ms. Pat 29:23 Oh, they'll fix that shit.

Joe Rogan 29:24 They'd figure it out.

Ms. Pat 29:25 Oh, yeah. They'll fix that, Joe.

Joe Rogan 29:26 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 29:26 If they, they, if they can fix a soft penis, yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:29 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 29:29 Yeah, they'll fix a man dick, but they, we can't do nothing with our body.

Joe Rogan 29:32 I don't... Exactly.

Ms. Pat 29:33 Yeah. Start fixing soft dicks and everything else will be solved.

Joe Rogan 29:36 No.

Ms. Pat 29:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:39 That, that, I don't think that would work. They already fixed that.

Ms. Pat 29:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:42 So the, you can't say stop fixing soft dicks.

Ms. Pat 29:44 Well, stop fixing soft-

Joe Rogan 29:44 They'd have to like unlearn, they'd have to unlearn Viagra.

Ms. Pat 29:49 Look, just let the man dick do what it do. When it die, let it die. Then that's, that's at the point where the lady need to know she need to put some cocoa butter up on there, help it slide across the thigh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:01 (laughs) I don't think that's gonna help either.

Ms. Pat 30:04 (laughs) When it's over, it's over, right? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:06 I guess. Yeah.

Ms. Pat 30:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:07 People, people like to think th- that they would be happy when it's over. Like good, finally, it's over.

Ms. Pat 30:12 Well, women are happy when they periods don't come on no more.

Joe Rogan 30:14 Yeah, but men.

Ms. Pat 30:14 Why can't men be happy when they penis don't work?

Joe Rogan 30:16 'Cause for men, like your dick not working is a sign of you don't, you're not a man anymore.

Ms. Pat 30:21 Weakness?

Joe Rogan 30:21 Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Ms. Pat 30:23 Mm?

Joe Rogan 30:24 Yeah, you feel like you're not a man anymore.

Ms. Pat 30:26 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 30:26 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 30:27 So, I don't feel like I'm not a woman no more. When my periods stop, we be happy.

Joe Rogan 30:31 Yeah, but it's different. If your pussies dried up and became useless, like sealed up ... (laughs)

Ms. Pat 30:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:39 Like nothing. You know? Like, maybe you, you meet a man- (laughs) Maybe you and your husband get divorced and you met a man and he's beautiful-

Ms. Pat 30:44 Mm.

Joe Rogan 30:45 ... and he can't read, so he's got good dick and-

Ms. Pat 30:47 And he go to put it in and flakes fall off?

Joe Rogan 30:49 ... and he ... And it's just a mess down there.

Ms. Pat 30:51 Mm.

Joe Rogan 30:52 Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Ms. Pat 30:53 Well, Joe, I'm Black. It grow real thick, so it's always a mess down there.

Joe Rogan 30:57 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 30:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:59 (laughs) It grow real thick?

Ms. Pat 31:01 Yeah, I call it nappy grip. Boy got a Jackson 5 afro.

Joe Rogan 31:09 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 31:09 (laughs) So, but, I mean, 'c- I mean, for some women it matters, but I guess 'cause I started really early, I don't want no dick, I want healthcare. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:17 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 31:17 I don't want no dick. (laughs) You ain't gotta do that to me. Just take me on a trip.

Joe Rogan 31:21 I get it. I ... But for men though, it's like a sign of ...

Ms. Pat 31:24 Weakness?

Joe Rogan 31:24 Yeah, it's a weakness thing.

Ms. Pat 31:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:25 Yeah, you don't feel like a man anymore.

Ms. Pat 31:27 But if you love that person, I'm, I think you ready, uh, you willing to, to deal with the softness.

Joe Rogan 31:32 Mm. (smacks lips) Yeah, especially if you don't want any dick.

Ms. Pat 31:36 Y- Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:37 But if you want dick and his dick is soft-

Ms. Pat 31:38 Well, you put ice cream-

Joe Rogan 31:40 ... you start getting angry.

Ms. Pat 31:40 ... you put ice cream sticks around it.

Joe Rogan 31:42 Oh. Like a brace?

Ms. Pat 31:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:46 (laughs) Like someone with a broken leg? (laughs) Like, you, you break your leg in the forest-

Ms. Pat 31:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:50 ... and they have to fucking strap it to some twigs.

Ms. Pat 31:54 Well, that was what they was doing before Viagra came along.

Joe Rogan 31:56 I don't know what they were doing. They just did that-

Ms. Pat 31:58 Stick it them in the freezer.

Joe Rogan 31:59 They would do all ... That's why, uh, that's why they kill rhinos, you know? Rhino horn, they think rhino horn gets your dick hard.

Ms. Pat 32:05 Really?

Joe Rogan 32:05 It doesn't do shit. But-

Ms. Pat 32:06 Do you eat it?

Joe Rogan 32:07 They, uh, I guess they make a tea out of it.

Ms. Pat 32:09 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 32:10 It doesn't even work, but guys have been taking rhino horn forever to try to get their dick hard. And so much so that it, now that it's forbidden, and it's expensive because it's forbidden, it, it's like a sign of luxury. Like you're drinking rhino horn tea. It's a big thing in apparently some Asian countries, like with, like, really wealthy people.

Ms. Pat 32:28 They don't even have, they don't even have dicks in Asia.

Joe Rogan 32:29 They don't?

Ms. Pat 32:30 I mean ... I-

Joe Rogan 32:31 You sure?

Ms. Pat 32:32 I heard they were small.

Joe Rogan 32:33 You heard? (laughs)

Ms. Pat 32:34 (laughs) Well, I have a girlfriend that had six Asian babies, right? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:39 Wow.

Ms. Pat 32:39 But she don't have any stretch marks. Well, and I was gonna tell-

Joe Rogan 32:42 From the babies?

Ms. Pat 32:43 You know how most women get stretch marks?

Joe Rogan 32:44 Right, but I don't think that has to do with dick.

Ms. Pat 32:46 But I'm saying-

Joe Rogan 32:47 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 32:47 ... Asian men make small babies, so ...

Joe Rogan 32:50 Mm.

Ms. Pat 32:51 I'm just assuming ...

Joe Rogan 32:52 Well, what about if it's, like, uh, s-

Ms. Pat 32:53 I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:55 Who's that, who is the basketball player? What's the, the, the giant dude? Yao Ming. Yeah, Yao Ming. Yao Ming, yeah. Yeah. What about that guy?

Ms. Pat 33:01 Oh, he-

Joe Rogan 33:01 Even if he has a normal sized dick, he's-

Ms. Pat 33:03 He, he ain't got no dick. He too tall.

Joe Rogan 33:04 What? He ain't got no dick, he's too tall? How could you say that?

Ms. Pat 33:06 He too tall. I guarantee you he piss on the top of his pants.

Joe Rogan 33:11 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 33:11 (laughs) It's a, it's a way a man walk.

Joe Rogan 33:13 Well, LeBron James is tall too.

Ms. Pat 33:15 He got a lot of dick.

Joe Rogan 33:16 A lot of dick. I-

Ms. Pat 33:16 I saw that dick on TV that day.

Joe Rogan 33:17 I bet.

Ms. Pat 33:18 Oh, my God. When he went to go stretch, I was like, "I'm not into young dick like that, but that was nice." And I tell ... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:26 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 33:26 I tell ... (laughs) I tell you somebody else-

Joe Rogan 33:29 Ah.

Ms. Pat 33:29 ... who got a nice ... Uh, Nicki Minaj ex b- ex-boyfriend, Safaree.

Joe Rogan 33:32 Yeah?

Ms. Pat 33:33 He broke the internet with it.

Joe Rogan 33:34 He broke the internet with his dick?

Ms. Pat 33:35 Oh, my God. He had a curve in it, Joe.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Yeah?

Ms. Pat 33:37 It could fucking lift, it c- you can actually, it could probably lift a weight in this fucking weight room in here.

Joe Rogan 33:42 Whoa.

Ms. Pat 33:43 It was so big, it couldn't even fit on an iPhone.

Joe Rogan 33:45 What?

Ms. Pat 33:45 It was only iPad action. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:47 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 33:50 I was sending it to everybody, "Bitch, look!"

Joe Rogan 33:52 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 33:52 "You're blessed today. You're blessed."

Joe Rogan 33:54 Oh, my God.

Ms. Pat 33:54 And he made a little five-minute video and that thing was swinging like the American flag on top of a building.

Joe Rogan 33:59 Wow.

Ms. Pat 34:00 It was nice.

Joe Rogan 34:00 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 34:00 I want my stomach done once I finish losing weight.

Joe Rogan 34:03 Don't do it. Don't get put under.

Ms. Pat 34:04 Why? I want my titties lifted. You don't know my titties, Joe.

Joe Rogan 34:07 (laughs) Getting put ... (laughs) Just getting, getting put under is what I worry about.

Ms. Pat 34:11 Well, shit. I mean, I want my titties lifted.

Joe Rogan 34:13 I understand that.

Ms. Pat 34:13 It's hard when you got big titties and they all in your lap and shit when your bra come off. Do you want your wife to walk out the shower with her titties looking like they been in a drive-by?

Joe Rogan 34:20 I, I feel you. I understand what you're saying.

Ms. Pat 34:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:22 I do.

Ms. Pat 34:22 So, I want my titties lifted, I want my, um, just my-

Joe Rogan 34:25 I want-

Ms. Pat 34:25 ... stomach done.

Joe Rogan 34:26 I want you to stay alive, Ms. Pat.

Ms. Pat 34:27 I'm gonna stay alive.

Joe Rogan 34:28 I love you. I want you to be happy.

Ms. Pat 34:29 I love you too. I'm gonna get me a rejuvenation too. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:33 Don't do it. Don't do it. (laughs) Don't get it tightened up. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 34:36 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:36 I thought you said you don't even want anymore dick. Why are you getting it tightened up?

Ms. Pat 34:39 Well, I'm going through panty liners like Pampers. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:43 (laughs) Oh, my God. But will rejuvenation fix that?

Ms. Pat 34:47 I don't know, but I got a leak that a plumber can't fix, Joe.

Joe Rogan 34:50 Oh, no.

Ms. Pat 34:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:51 What's, what is exactly leaking?

Ms. Pat 34:53 It's my, "Oh, no."

Joe Rogan 34:53 What's happening in there?

Ms. Pat 34:55 (laughs) Just coughing, huh, choo, I'm wet. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:59 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 35:00 He, he, he's my friend, y'all. That's the only reason I can tell him.

Joe Rogan 35:02 (sighs)

Ms. Pat 35:02 I be pissing on myself. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:04 That's all right. (sighs)

Ms. Pat 35:06 (laughs) I mean, I don't want no, I don't want no Kim Kardashian, them, you know, my nose and all. I'm okay with my Black nose.

Joe Rogan 35:12 Mm. You have a beautiful nose.

Ms. Pat 35:13 I don't need my chi- Thank you. I don't want my cheeks pulled back.

Joe Rogan 35:14 Don't, don't do anything like that.

Ms. Pat 35:15 But I would like ... Joe, I would like to get my stomach done so I can see my vagina. It's been a long time. We've been disconnected for a long time.

Joe Rogan 35:23 W- Have you ever gone on a diet?

Ms. Pat 35:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:26 And didn't like it?

Ms. Pat 35:27 Then over.

Joe Rogan 35:27 Is the way you said it ... (laughs)

Ms. Pat 35:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:32 (laughs) Wow.

Ms. Pat 35:32 I had weight loss surgery. I lost 100 pounds and it just stopped, so I called the doctor-

Joe Rogan 35:36 Oh.

Ms. Pat 35:36 ... and was like, "It stopped." And he was like, "Uh, you gotta go to the gym." I'm like, "No." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:41 (laughs) So, you lost 100 pounds just dieting?

Ms. Pat 35:43 No, I w- I had weight loss surgery, like, two years ago.

Joe Rogan 35:46 Oh. Oh, so you had to-

Ms. Pat 35:46 No, when I first came out, I was real juicy.

Joe Rogan 35:47 Right.

Ms. Pat 35:48 I was almost 400 pounds.

Joe Rogan 35:49 Real juicy? (laughs)

Ms. Pat 35:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:51 So, you had the stomach staple thing?

Ms. Pat 35:52 No, I, uh, yeah, I had my stomach cut.

Joe Rogan 35:54 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 35:55 Yeah. It was, it was, it was easy as hell.

Joe Rogan 35:57 Really?

Ms. Pat 35:58 Yeah. I was, I was, I was almost right at 400.

Joe Rogan 36:01 Wow.

Ms. Pat 36:02 And I lost, like, uh-

Joe Rogan 36:02 So, you lost 100 pounds-

Ms. Pat 36:04 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 36:04 ... and then they told you to go to the gym, and you were like, "Fuck you."

Ms. Pat 36:06 Well, well, I'm just so busy. I, uh, there's no fucking excuse. I mean ...

Joe Rogan 36:10 Why don't you get a trainer?

Ms. Pat 36:11 Oh.

Joe Rogan 36:12 That could be another podcast, you complaining at the gym. That shit would be hilarious.

Ms. Pat 36:15 Yeah, I would be complaining. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:16 That would be hilarious.

Ms. Pat 36:17 You wanna hear something crazy? My kids are fat. 'Cause usually if the parents is fat, the kids are fat. My son was 410 pounds, Joe. And I- he live in this white neighborhood, and he couldn't get no pussy.

Joe Rogan 36:28 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 36:29 And he literally went on a diet. Joe, when I tell you this boy is 220 pounds, and every night when we go to bed, he go in the pantry and throw away the junk. And I said, "You got one more time to throw away my motherfucking food, Ralph." (laughs) He's like, "Y'all can't eat that." He'd read everything, he'd just go to the gym. He was fat as fuck.

Joe Rogan 36:45 That's amazing.

Ms. Pat 36:46 Titties, his titties gone, his stomach flat-

Joe Rogan 36:49 Beautiful.

Ms. Pat 36:49 ... every day.

Joe Rogan 36:50 What does he do? What kind of exercise?

Ms. Pat 36:52 I don't know I can call him, his name's Junebug.

Joe Rogan 36:54 Junebug?

Ms. Pat 36:55 Yeah. Not his real name. His-

Joe Rogan 36:56 So that's his nickname?

Ms. Pat 36:57 Yeah, nickname. But he-

Joe Rogan 36:58 So he's just a gym addict? He's into it now?

Ms. Pat 37:00 He's a fucking gym addict, and he's-

Joe Rogan 37:01 That's beautiful.

Ms. Pat 37:02 He told, he's like, "I'm gonna make this whole family lose weight." I said-

Joe Rogan 37:05 Damn.

Ms. Pat 37:05 ... "Not today, bitch."

Joe Rogan 37:07 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 37:07 Get your ass outta here. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:09 Why don't you do a podcast with him?

Ms. Pat 37:12 He's working-

Joe Rogan 37:12 Junebug and Mama at the Gym.

Ms. Pat 37:14 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 37:15 Do you know how funny a video of you at the gym would be? Just you complaining and talking shit while someone gets you to work out?

Ms. Pat 37:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:22 That would be goddamn hilarious.

Ms. Pat 37:24 Junebug, we gonna do a podcast, but he gonna try to kill me, Joe.

Joe Rogan 37:27 But if you just listened to him and did it and did a video, I guarantee you that would get a shitload of views.

Ms. Pat 37:34 Okay. Well, me and Junebug, Junebug, we got, you gonna help mom, well, actually I'm getting ready to move to LA for the pilot of my show.

Joe Rogan 37:40 You gonna move here?

Ms. Pat 37:41 I'ma move here for a little bit.

Joe Rogan 37:42 For how long?

Ms. Pat 37:43 Uh, well, we gonna shoot the pilot, so if the pilot get picked up at Hulu, so I'll be here during the shooting and then I'ma go back home. I can't take all these nice titties running around here.

Joe Rogan 37:51 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 37:52 (laughs) So, I'ma bring Junebug out with me to train more-

Joe Rogan 37:54 Bring Junebug and start fi- just start filming videos.

Ms. Pat 37:57 You oughta see him, like he had big titties like mines, they're gone.

Joe Rogan 38:01 Beautiful. I love it.

Ms. Pat 38:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:02 I love stories like that.

Ms. Pat 38:03 Uh, and I, he just did it. He, I know what it was, he couldn't get laid.

Joe Rogan 38:07 Well, that'll be a motivator.

Ms. Pat 38:08 Yeah, and I asked him, I said, "Son, be honest." 'Cause he told me, he said, "Mama," 'cause I, I mean, I'm doing a little bit now. I probably lost like 15 pounds since I've been dealing with Junebug. He said, "Mama, when you lose weight, when you start to lose weight," he just text me one day, he said, "Do you come on your period?" "Girl, what do you mean? I'm your fucking mama." He's like-

Joe Rogan 38:26 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 38:28 (laughs) "What do you mean?"

Joe Rogan 38:29 I wanna be in the room while these conversations are happening.

Ms. Pat 38:32 I said, "Why you asking me that?"

Joe Rogan 38:33 Oh.

Ms. Pat 38:33 He said, "'Cause when I help you lose weight, your period gonna come back." (laughs) I said-

Joe Rogan 38:37 What?

Ms. Pat 38:37 "My fucking period is not gonna come back."

Joe Rogan 38:38 What is your son, a doctor?

Ms. Pat 38:40 I don't know, he just read all the time. I was like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:41 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 38:43 Joe, I lost like 12 pounds and my period came back. I said-

Joe Rogan 38:45 Really?

Ms. Pat 38:45 ... "Bitch, my period came back!" He's like, "I know, Mama, you stopped up from all the fat." (laughs) I said-

Joe Rogan 38:51 Whoa.

Ms. Pat 38:51 ... "I don't think it work like that, Junebug." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:53 Stopped up.

Ms. Pat 38:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:54 Jesus Christ, I just got a visual.

Ms. Pat 38:56 He told me... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:57 Stopped up. (laughs) Like the London subway. Oh.

Ms. Pat 39:04 Oh, he told me I was stopped up, Joe. But my cycle came back-

Joe Rogan 39:06 Oh, my God.

Ms. Pat 39:07 ... I was like, "What the fuck you do to me? My period came back." He's like, "Mama, the more I work with, the more you gonna flow." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:12 Whoa.

Ms. Pat 39:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:13 The more you... Meanwhile, he's right. That's what's crazy.

Ms. Pat 39:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:16 So he just reads a lot about fitness and health?

Ms. Pat 39:17 Yeah. He's, I'm telling you, Joe, he's-

Joe Rogan 39:19 How old is he?

Ms. Pat 39:20 He's 19.

Joe Rogan 39:21 And what is he doing?

Ms. Pat 39:22 He works, he works at Enterprise.

Joe Rogan 39:24 He, he should get together with you, fuck Enterprise, just you two together-

Ms. Pat 39:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:30 ... working out, making YouTube videos. It would be huge.

Ms. Pat 39:33 Yeah, especially if I can get on like him. He's like, "Mama, I'm gonna get you in shape." And my daughter is on the plus size, too. He's like, "I'm whipping all y'all asses into shape."

Joe Rogan 39:42 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 39:42 All because he just, he just, he just popped up and said, "I'm sick of being fat."

Joe Rogan 39:46 That's awesome.

Ms. Pat 39:47 He said he was sick of being fat. My baby, if you go to my Instagram, he's on there. He's, and he's even, he's 220 now. I'm like, "Junebug, stop." He's like, "No."

Joe Rogan 39:55 Wow.

Ms. Pat 39:56 I mean, he got a chest, Joe, f- stomach flat. He looks good.

Joe Rogan 40:00 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 40:00 And I asked him, I said, "Son, did your dick get bigger?" 'Cause I remember being really small. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:05 (laughs) Oh, Jesus. (laughs) Oh, Jesus.

Ms. Pat 40:10 (laughs) He's like, "It's better, Mama, it's better. (laughs) It's better."

Joe Rogan 40:13 Oh, my God. (laughs) S- why, when you're fat, your dick gets smaller?

Ms. Pat 40:17 Hell yeah, that bitch go up in your stomach.

Joe Rogan 40:20 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 40:22 (laughs) Your navel become your dick when you real fat, Joe. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:26 (laughs) Oh, my God. Uh, you should do that. Like, look, I talked you into doing a podcast, I'm gonna talk you into doing this. You have to.

Ms. Pat 40:33 Oh, okay. Junebug, I know you're gonna see this. Me-

Joe Rogan 40:35 Junebug, please. You and your mom at the gym. It'll be gigantic. I'll help you. I'll promote it, I'll put it up on Twitter and Instagram. Please do this.

Ms. Pat 40:44 Joe, he gonna kill me. (laughs) He gonna kill me.

Joe Rogan 40:45 That'd be great.

Ms. Pat 40:46 You go, I gotta go in there with a depend-on when he go.

Joe Rogan 40:48 Can you imagine if he gets you in crazy shape? Imagine if you get to, like, bikini shape. Seriously.

Ms. Pat 40:53 Whew. I ain't been like that since the third grade.

Joe Rogan 40:58 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 41:00 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:00 (clapping)

Ms. Pat 41:00 I need a bikini shape, I'm telling you, Joe. (laughs) I'm telling you.

Joe Rogan 41:03 Imagine if he could do that, though?

Ms. Pat 41:04 Oh.

Joe Rogan 41:04 Imagine if he does that?

Ms. Pat 41:06 Joe, you don't know how happy I would be if I could just look straight down and see shit.

Joe Rogan 41:10 A lot of times, the food that you crave is the food that you eat. So if you eat food that's not healthy for you, that's what you're craving all the time and your stomach gets used to it. The, what they call your gut biome, your stomach bacteria wants sugar and bread and pasta. As soon as you start eating healthy food, your body starts craving healthy food. Your body will start craving salads and lean meat and chicken and fish.

Ms. Pat 41:32 That's all he eat, too.

Joe Rogan 41:33 Perfect.

Ms. Pat 41:33 And you know what else? He started, we don't drink water, but I do now. He makes me drink water. He literally call me, "Mama," 'cause I can do one liter a day. I'm up to one liter, that's enough, 'cause one-

Joe Rogan 41:42 What do you drink besides water?

Ms. Pat 41:44 Oh, I drink coffee in the morning, then after that, no more coffee. I have to have one cup.

Joe Rogan 41:48 Coffee's fine.

Ms. Pat 41:49 Yeah. I, I, I do put sugar and cream in it. I got four crack babies, I need something to calm my nerves.

Joe Rogan 41:54 I understand.

Ms. Pat 41:54 So I, I told him, "Son, I can't give up my coffee right now." So I drink coffee only in the morning, and then I drink w- all day, I, I work on a liter of water. And he literally go through the house and tell us what we can and can't eat.

Joe Rogan 42:07 Wow.

Ms. Pat 42:07 Which is I be wanna punch him in the face, but I am losing a few pounds with him. Like, you know, I got these f- I got these back wing arms like Grandmama's-

Joe Rogan 42:14 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 42:15 And he was like, "Mom, I'm gonna get all of that off of you." (laughs) 'Cause he wa- he had fat arms too and big titties. I mean, he lost all of it.

Joe Rogan 42:22 Y-

Ms. Pat 42:22 And I'm so proud of him.

Joe Rogan 42:23 You could do it. You could do it too.

Ms. Pat 42:24 Yeah, 'cause I was telling him, I said, "Look, you 19, you on the insurance until 26. They will give you weight loss surgery." And he's like, "I don't want that." I said, "Son, go get the weight loss surgery and then I get your titties taken off and your stomach tucked." He's like, "Momma, that don't sound like no manly thing." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:40 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 42:40 'Cause I had it all planned out. I was gonna get his tummy tuck and his titties cut off, and then I was gonna get him weight loss surgery. And my fat daughter, who, she fat, and I said, "I'm gonna get your tummy tuck. I mean, I'm gonna get your stomach cut and then I'm gonna buy you an ass." 'Cause she has no ass.

Joe Rogan 42:53 Mm.

Ms. Pat 42:53 So, and then I told my husband, he don't have no ass, I was gonna buy him a ass too.

Joe Rogan 42:56 Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 42:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 42:58 (laughs) You're buying everybody asses?

Ms. Pat 43:01 I'm like-

Joe Rogan 43:02 You don't want that. You know, people are getting cancer from that.

Ms. Pat 43:04 Asses?

Joe Rogan 43:05 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 43:05 Not when they take the fat from you.

Joe Rogan 43:07 No, not when they take the fat. They're getting a-

Ms. Pat 43:08 We got a lot of fat.

Joe Rogan 43:09 They're getting cancer from the implants.

Ms. Pat 43:11 What, titties?

Joe Rogan 43:12 Ass implants.

Ms. Pat 43:13 Oh, I ain't gonna do no ass implant. You didn't see my ass?

Joe Rogan 43:15 You know, some people do that.

Ms. Pat 43:15 I got a big ass.

Joe Rogan 43:16 You do. You, it's no issue.

Ms. Pat 43:17 Look-

Joe Rogan 43:17 But some people who get ass implants, they're starting to get cancer.

Ms. Pat 43:22 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 43:22 'Cause those ass implants are only a few years old.

Ms. Pat 43:24 I, you know what I don't understand? I'm from the inner city of Atlanta. When we was coming up, Joe, if you wanted titties and ass, they had this thing going around, and I did a podcast on it, I said we didn't... People, black people didn't know what plastic surgery was. So the deal was you take that government butter and you rub it on your titties and your ass, and they said it'll make it grow.

Joe Rogan 43:42 What?

Ms. Pat 43:42 Yeah. I'm not lying to you. That's what we used to do back in the day.

Joe Rogan 43:45 Did it work?

Ms. Pat 43:45 Watch out. Look at me.

Joe Rogan 43:47 Yeah, but I don't-

Ms. Pat 43:48 Look, look at me.

Joe Rogan 43:49 I don't think it's from the butter.

Ms. Pat 43:51 Oh, ev- everybody I know rubbed butter on their ass got (laughs) .

Joe Rogan 43:56 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 43:58 You don't know that government butter. That shit won't melt up on the hot water, Joe. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:03 It won't? Oh.

Ms. Pat 44:03 That's that shit (laughs) they sent to the ghetto to kill everybody.

Joe Rogan 44:08 Oh. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 44:09 Joe, I gotta tell you this story.

Joe Rogan 44:10 Oh.

Ms. Pat 44:10 So one time, I was in the tub and m- my neighbor was like, "Just put the butter on your titty and your ass." We put the butter all on, my momma wake up, she say, "No, you bitches ain't got my butter on y'all. You know that shit gotta last me 28 more day." She took that extension cord and she hit us and that motherfucker stuck in that butter. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:26 (fart noise)

Ms. Pat 44:27 She t- she gave us one of them wooden poohs, she said, "Scrape my shit off, you bitches." We in there scraping her butter all off us. She put that shit back in the refrigerator and she beat the shit out of us. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:35 Oh my God. She scraped the butter off your tits and put it back in the fridge?

Ms. Pat 44:40 (laughs) We were poor, we couldn't waste all that good butter, Joe. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:43 Oh my God, that is hilarious.

Ms. Pat 44:45 (laughs) She beat the shit out of us playing in her butter.

Joe Rogan 44:48 Imagine if butter really did that. All you had to do to get big tits and a big ass, just gr- rub butter on it.

Ms. Pat 44:54 I- I've had titties since the fourth grade, so that's when I, I didn't like getting (laughs) like-

Joe Rogan 44:58 I think you just have good genetics.

Ms. Pat 45:00 No, Joe, my momma didn't have no titties.

Joe Rogan 45:02 Yeah, but sometimes it doesn't get your mom, but it goes to you.

Ms. Pat 45:05 Joe, I'm trying to sell this government butter-

Joe Rogan 45:07 Skips people. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 45:08 ... to keep these women. Don't do that educational shit, Joe.

Joe Rogan 45:11 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 45:11 Don't break it all the way down for the ladies.

Joe Rogan 45:13 Okay.

Ms. Pat 45:13 Let them try the butter before they try the poison.

Joe Rogan 45:15 Okay.

Ms. Pat 45:16 So go out and get you some good old government butter that won't melt and just sit on it.

Joe Rogan 45:21 Okay.

Ms. Pat 45:21 Like a, like a, like a fucking, a, a bird trying to hatch a egg.

Joe Rogan 45:24 Just sit on it?

Ms. Pat 45:25 Yeah. Just rub it all over your booty and stuff.

Joe Rogan 45:27 And then just have a seat on it, like a bag.

Ms. Pat 45:28 Yeah. (laughs) And hopefully it'll make your booties and titties grow. It worked for me.

Joe Rogan 45:32 Imagine if it did work. Imagine if that worked. There's a lot of questions on Yahoo, people asking that. Come on. Does, does butter make your butt bigger? And then I found a product on Amazon- What? ... called Butt Butter. Butt Butter? (laughs)

Ms. Pat 45:46 (laughs) Y'all be thinking outta line.

Joe Rogan 45:47 Butter enhancement cream for smoother, fuller, and firmer skin. Yeah.

Ms. Pat 45:51 I don't know if that's what I had-

Joe Rogan 45:52 What?

Ms. Pat 45:52 ... when I was coming up.

Joe Rogan 45:53 It's not, but yeah. Natural butt enhancement cream for women and men. Plump Booty Enhancer Lotion, Butt Firming and Tightening Cream, Sexy Butt... Was it... Hold on. It's- I'm sorry. S- sexy Butt Lifter Cream, Butt Enlarger Cream. Yeah. This is horse shit. Yeah, it's p- most likely.

Ms. Pat 46:09 It's got four stars?

Joe Rogan 46:10 (laughs) Four stars?

Ms. Pat 46:10 Somebody grew an ass from it. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:12 Nah, it's a bunch of people that are assholes that work for the company. Yeah. They're reviewing it. Look, 364 customer reviews. Yeah. Hold on, click that.

Ms. Pat 46:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:22 (laughs) I need, I need to read these. You want a good, good one or a bad one? The, the, the good ones, "Adding to my flat booty. My family and I (laughs) ... In my family, I inherited flat butt syndrome. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing have your butt hurt because you have no padding when you sit and have no pants fall, have your pants fall because there's-"

Ms. Pat 46:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:47 "... nothing in the back to hold them up. After week, I def notice something extra in the back. I'll keep using." (laughs) That's the people that you want to buy your butt cream, 'cause they're morons. Make a good point. That's like people that give money to preachers that, that fly on private jets.

Ms. Pat 47:02 Yeah, I think... And that's crazy. That don't work. But I, I, I'm telling you, government butter work, Joe. I'm telling you.

Joe Rogan 47:08 Look at this. "Who would've known it works faster on your breasts than on your butt, but it's work."

Ms. Pat 47:13 I told you-

Joe Rogan 47:13 "Buy more." This is not real.

Ms. Pat 47:15 It is real. Look at me. I'm-

Joe Rogan 47:16 I tell you-

Ms. Pat 47:17 I'm a 40-H.

Joe Rogan 47:18 (laughs) Look at you with the glasses-

Ms. Pat 47:20 And-

Joe Rogan 47:20 ... yelling at me. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 47:24 I can't see shit, Joe.

Joe Rogan 47:26 Oh.

Ms. Pat 47:26 I can't see shit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:28 It's hilarious though, the way you're yelling with those giant glasses on. It's so funny.

Ms. Pat 47:32 I'm telling you-

Joe Rogan 47:33 Oh my God. But listen, these fucking... The people that are writing these reviews, "Not only does it works..." That's it, works. "Not only does it works, it increased my breast size. They probably should change the name to Breast and Butt Enhancement Butter. I know it for the butt, I know it for the butt, so I figured let me see will it do anything for my breasts since it's-"

Ms. Pat 47:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:54 "... 'all natural.' So I did so, with- (laughs) within a week, my breasts was fuller."

Ms. Pat 48:01 Ooh.

Joe Rogan 48:02 "Last time I seen them this size was right before it was time to breastfeed, and my baby is now nine years old." (laughs)

Ms. Pat 48:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:08 (laughs) This is crazy.

Ms. Pat 48:11 So, imagine that-

Joe Rogan 48:12 Ugh.

Ms. Pat 48:12 ... what we was doing in the ghetto. (laughs) I'm telling you, that thick-ass butter, I'm tell-

Joe Rogan 48:17 Maybe it does work.

Ms. Pat 48:18 It, I, and watch how many Black-

Joe Rogan 48:20 But the fuck do I know?

Ms. Pat 48:20 Watch how many people who knows what I'm talking about from the South say, "Joe, we did that."

Joe Rogan 48:24 And it worked.

Ms. Pat 48:25 I assume I grew titties and butt.

Joe Rogan 48:27 Well, you should've done it on one titty.

Ms. Pat 48:29 Wha- didn't it... What?

Joe Rogan 48:30 Just to see.

Ms. Pat 48:31 No, Joe, I wanted them to be even. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:33 I know, but there's only one way to find out if it actually works.

Ms. Pat 48:36 (laughs) You know.

Joe Rogan 48:36 One cheek, one tit. You balance it out, left cheek, right tit.

Ms. Pat 48:40 Well, I'm gonna find that butt butter-

Joe Rogan 48:41 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 48:41 ... and rub it on my crack baby, one of her titties-

Joe Rogan 48:44 Why not?

Ms. Pat 48:44 ... and see if they grow uneven.

Joe Rogan 48:44 Yeah, yeah, just don't even tell him what you're doing. Just put it on one titty.

Ms. Pat 48:47 I, I, okay. (laughs) I'm gonna have to get her to do it. I don't think I feel appropriate.

Joe Rogan 48:51 No, yeah, how old is she now?

Ms. Pat 48:53 She's nine.

Joe Rogan 48:54 Yeah, it's too late.

Ms. Pat 48:54 No, no, she's, uh-

Joe Rogan 48:56 When they're, like, four you can do it?

Ms. Pat 48:57 Yeah, I have a five-year-old I can test it on.

Joe Rogan 48:59 Ah.

Ms. Pat 48:59 But she already got a big-ass booty.

Joe Rogan 49:01 Oh, well.

Ms. Pat 49:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:02 Then-

Ms. Pat 49:02 But I'm gon- I'm gonna get some of that and see if it work. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:05 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 49:05 My husband will kill me.

Joe Rogan 49:06 Imagine if that was a s- uh, I don't know if it's true, but I don't think it is. It doesn't make sense, but then again, I'm not a scientist.

Ms. Pat 49:12 I'm telling you, it's like that peanut butter that they used to send to the ghetto to choke negroes out.

Joe Rogan 49:16 What did they do? (laughs)

Ms. Pat 49:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:21 (banging desk) Oh.

Ms. Pat 49:24 Oh, I love you.

Joe Rogan 49:25 Well, I love you too. What did they do?

Ms. Pat 49:27 That peanut butter that they used to send to the gov ... The government used to give Black people peanut butter to choke them out.

Joe Rogan 49:32 Why?

Ms. Pat 49:32 'Cause they didn't wanna choke them out. That thick-ass peanut butter, you had to heat it in the mi- ... You weren't even microwaving, you heat on the stove like you about to cook a scrambled egg for it to thin out so you could spread it on a sandwich.

Joe Rogan 49:41 Really?

Ms. Pat 49:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:43 Oh.

Ms. Pat 49:43 That, then they found out later on that it was gonna kill us. It was like a b- it was thick as fuck. It came in a can.

Joe Rogan 49:49 (sputters)

Ms. Pat 49:50 The government peanut butter, g- google it. It was-

Joe Rogan 49:51 There was some dude on Instagram who was in school, some kid in school, and they were, they, they, you know, they feed them cheese sandwiches for lunch, and he was lighting the cheese sandwich. He was like, "Look at this cheese. Look at this shit." And he's lighting it, he's got a lighter to it, and it would not melt, it was just turning black. It was just getting black-

Ms. Pat 50:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:07 ... from the smoke from the lighter. It was not melting.

Ms. Pat 50:10 It wasn't cheese.

Joe Rogan 50:10 He's like, "What the fuck kind of cheese is this?"

Ms. Pat 50:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:14 (sniffs) Wow.

Ms. Pat 50:14 It wasn't real cheese.

Joe Rogan 50:16 There's just parts of America that the government ignores, right?

Ms. Pat 50:20 Yeah, me.

Joe Rogan 50:21 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 50:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:22 Yeah, yeah. See, you got through.

Ms. Pat 50:24 (laughs) I got through.

Joe Rogan 50:25 You made it through the net.

Ms. Pat 50:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:27 Uh-huh.

Ms. Pat 50:27 But then they only come to you when they, when they need your vote.

Joe Rogan 50:30 Oh.

Ms. Pat 50:31 They only come to the ... Like Black pastors. They like Black pastors.

Joe Rogan 50:35 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 50:35 You know, that's why I don't go to church. I, I tell them all the time, I'm tired of Church's Chicken. You get more for your money.

Joe Rogan 50:40 Church's Chicken's better? (laughs)

Ms. Pat 50:42 Yeah. Yeah. (laughs) Two Dollar Tuesday, get you two pieces of chicken and a biscuit. What you talking about, Joe?

Joe Rogan 50:48 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 50:48 Believe that Popeyes alone on Tues and go to Church's.

Joe Rogan 50:51 Yeah, but do they have Po- the spicy? Is Church's-

Ms. Pat 50:53 Yeah, they got spicies now.

Joe Rogan 50:54 ... have spicy?

Ms. Pat 50:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:55 Hmm, okay.

Ms. Pat 50:55 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:56 See, that's the thing that Popeye separated from everybody else.

Ms. Pat 50:57 I'm not, I'm not giving no pastor my money.

Joe Rogan 51:00 Good for you.

Ms. Pat 51:00 And riding out there. I mean, if I'm ... Hey, the Bible is free. They in every hotel. Just steal the Bible out the hotel like everybody else used to.

Joe Rogan 51:06 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 51:07 I'm not gonna give you my money, and you out here b- buying jets and shit, and I'm struggling.

Joe Rogan 51:12 Exactly.

Ms. Pat 51:12 And then you fucking the hos in church. You ain't sharing the hos in church no more.

Joe Rogan 51:15 They're fucking the hos in church?

Ms. Pat 51:16 Oh, yeah, they be some fucking ... You know (smacks lips)

Joe Rogan 51:18 I don't know, I don't go to church.

Ms. Pat 51:19 The hos go to church with no underwear on.

Joe Rogan 51:21 (Gasps) Ho!

Ms. Pat 51:21 To get the pastor.

Joe Rogan 51:23 No.

Ms. Pat 51:23 Oh, fuck the First Lady. They don't care nothing about the First Lady no more. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 51:26 Really?

Ms. Pat 51:27 Hell.

Joe Rogan 51:28 The hos wear no underwear in church to lure the pastor in?

Ms. Pat 51:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 51:32 Really?

Ms. Pat 51:32 Yeah, it ain't much. The pastors are sexy as fuck. Remember back in the day ... Well, you might not remember 'cause you white, but back in the day, the pastor-

Joe Rogan 51:39 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 51:41 Back in the day, the pastor was ugly. All the pastors were ugly like T.D. Jakes. They was unfuckable. But now they all sexy.

Joe Rogan 51:48 Oh.

Ms. Pat 51:49 Now they all sexy. I mean, everybody wanna fuck the pastor. He get-

Joe Rogan 51:51 You know, that's what they said they ma- when they made Catholic preachers become celibate. One of the reasons why they made them become celibate is because the Catholic preachers were banging all the ladies.

Ms. Pat 52:00 Really?

Joe Rogan 52:01 They were like ... Yeah, they were like rock stars, 'cause they were the ones who had the word of God. And this is before anyone could read the Bible-

Ms. Pat 52:07 (coughs)

Joe Rogan 52:07 ... because it was all in Latin, so they didn't know how to read Latin, so they relied on these priests to read it.

Ms. Pat 52:13 Look at Joel Osteen.

Joe Rogan 52:15 Yes.

Ms. Pat 52:15 He's fuckable.

Joe Rogan 52:16 Oh, yeah, I would, I would imagine so.

Ms. Pat 52:18 He's good-looking.

Joe Rogan 52:18 Yeah. Do you think he gets some?

Ms. Pat 52:20 I give him some.

Joe Rogan 52:21 D- (laughs)

Ms. Pat 52:22 (laughs) And not in Jesus' name neither.

Joe Rogan 52:26 No. No one's name.

Ms. Pat 52:26 He's sexy. Joel Osteen-

Joe Rogan 52:29 You give him some?

Ms. Pat 52:29 Shit, I don't even do white men.

Joe Rogan 52:30 Nah?

Ms. Pat 52:30 But I would do Joel Osteen.

Joe Rogan 52:32 Hmm.

Ms. Pat 52:33 In the pulpit.

Joe Rogan 52:34 Do you think he gets some?

Ms. Pat 52:35 He got a wife.

Joe Rogan 52:36 Yeah, but other than her?

Ms. Pat 52:38 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 52:39 Think he gets some on the side?

Ms. Pat 52:40 I'll be his side bitch.

Joe Rogan 52:46 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 52:46 (laughs) Don't y'all come fucking with me about Joel Osteen.

Joe Rogan 52:50 Ah, ah, ah.

Ms. Pat 52:50 Hey.

Joe Rogan 52:50 I'll be his side bitch.

Ms. Pat 52:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 52:52 Oh.

Ms. Pat 52:52 And I'd let him call me that too.

Joe Rogan 52:54 Wow.

Ms. Pat 52:54 Yeah, you pay the bill.

Joe Rogan 52:56 Look at him.

Ms. Pat 52:56 Look at him, he cute.

Joe Rogan 52:58 Yeah, he is.

Ms. Pat 52:58 And he, he ain't aged at all.

Joe Rogan 53:00 No, he isn't.

Ms. Pat 53:00 Look at that full head of hair. He's sexy. He work out?

Joe Rogan 53:04 How old do you think he is?

Ms. Pat 53:06 50.

Joe Rogan 53:06 I bet he does have a six-pack, right?

Ms. Pat 53:08 Yeah, he got a six-pack.

Joe Rogan 53:10 Bet he looks good.

Ms. Pat 53:10 And probably on-

Joe Rogan 53:11 Was that his wife in the upper right-hand corner? 56. Go back. 56. 56? Looks good for 56.

Ms. Pat 53:16 For a white man.

Joe Rogan 53:17 Go back. Look, go, though, is that his wife? She's hot. Maybe.

Ms. Pat 53:20 Yeah, she has some plastic surgery too.

Joe Rogan 53:21 Let's just call it. Let's just say it's his wife. Kapow.

Ms. Pat 53:23 Yeah, he good-looking.

Joe Rogan 53:25 Take that, take that, Joel.

Ms. Pat 53:26 Joel is good-looking. I-

Joe Rogan 53:27 He's got a goddamn arena, right?

Ms. Pat 53:29 Yeah, all the churches got a ... They, they are the new drug dealers. They're the new pimps. Remember pimps had hos?

Joe Rogan 53:34 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 53:34 And they'd go on the corner and slap their hos and get their money?

Joe Rogan 53:37 Yep.

Ms. Pat 53:37 Well, the church is like that now. That's all it is.

Joe Rogan 53:39 He does it in Vegas at the same arena where the UFC plays.

Ms. Pat 53:43 I thought he was in Dallas.

Joe Rogan 53:45 He goes all over the place. He goes on the road sometimes. He is-

Ms. Pat 53:48 Oh, yeah, they t- they go on the road now.

Joe Rogan 53:49 I think he's, he's in Houston or Dallas, somewhere in Texas. Houston?

Ms. Pat 53:53 I stop-

Joe Rogan 53:53 So, he does that, but he also does, like, giant arenas on the road.

Ms. Pat 53:56 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 53:56 Like, he does, he does the, uh, T-Mobile Center, where the UFC plays. Look at that.

Ms. Pat 54:00 (gasps)

Joe Rogan 54:01 The size of that place.

Ms. Pat 54:02 Nah, you can keep that.

Joe Rogan 54:04 How many of those bitches in the audience have no underwear on?

Ms. Pat 54:07 Probably 60%. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:09 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 54:17 ... (laughs) damn crazy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 54:20 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 54:22 Joe, I stopped going to church when they started charging for meals.

Joe Rogan 54:26 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 54:26 I don't fuck with no church. Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 54:27 Oh my God, I can't breathe. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 54:30 Yeah, you ain't noticed that?

Joe Rogan 54:31 I didn't know that they were banging that many.

Ms. Pat 54:32 Go to church and smell the front row.

Joe Rogan 54:37 (laughs) What does it smell like, an oyster bar?

Ms. Pat 54:39 (laughs) Yeah. It smell like ovulation.

Joe Rogan 54:43 Ovulation? Mm.

Ms. Pat 54:44 Yes. (laughs) They trying to... Hey, that's how you have a baby by a man like Joe Osteen.

Joe Rogan 54:49 Mm-hmm.

Ms. Pat 54:49 He can pay the child support on time.

Joe Rogan 54:51 Yeah. Yeah, I would imagine if you're, if you're the type of person that wants that much money, right? You want that much money, you want private jets, you want big houses, you're gonna want some extra pussy.

Ms. Pat 55:02 Hell yeah!

Joe Rogan 55:03 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 55:03 He gon' get tired of banging the same plastic-faced white woman.

Joe Rogan 55:07 She look good.

Ms. Pat 55:08 Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 55:08 He's gonna get tired of her?

Ms. Pat 55:09 But he want somebody like me, with the titties that move on the inside.

Joe Rogan 55:12 Move on the inside?

Ms. Pat 55:13 Yeah, you know, I got the real titties, so my shit go all over the place.

Joe Rogan 55:17 Oh, and hers are-

Ms. Pat 55:17 Yeah, they just firm.

Joe Rogan 55:18 ... hard.

Ms. Pat 55:18 They just one position, up straight.

Joe Rogan 55:20 Yeah. That's weird that people like that, that like 'em hard and erect.

Ms. Pat 55:23 Yeah, I got them titties you gotta pick up and dust off.

Joe Rogan 55:25 (laughs) Slap 'em around?

Ms. Pat 55:28 No, dust, 'cause everything I eat fall in my bra. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:30 Oh, God. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 55:36 I like how I've grossed you out today. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:38 You didn't gross me out, I'm laughing.

Ms. Pat 55:39 You, you gon', you gon' be at home like, "Lord, this bitch here."

Joe Rogan 55:42 I'm telling you, sometimes just... the other podcast we've done, I'd stop in the middle of the day and go, "What the fuck?" (sniffs) I just can't-

Ms. Pat 55:49 Thinking about me?

Joe Rogan 55:50 Yes. Some of the shit that... well, mostly about y- the tragedies, mostly about your childhood.

Ms. Pat 55:55 It's funny now, Joe. It's just that I took a... I, you know, I, I say on stage, I said, um, uh, "When you, when you, when you can laugh at what you been through, then you got control of it." And it-

Joe Rogan 56:06 Yes.

Ms. Pat 56:06 ... only reason why I can laugh about being shot, and I even... (laughs) my husband hate this bit I do. I do a bit about, uh, my first kid's father, you know, giving me crabs, gonorrhea, and fleas. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:19 (laughs) He gave you fleas? Jesus Christ.

Ms. Pat 56:22 He gave me a combo with no toy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:26 (laughs) Fucking fleas?

Ms. Pat 56:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:28 I mean, people get crabs, I get it, but when someone gives you fleas, like what the fuck?

Ms. Pat 56:32 But back in those days, the Health Department would come and pick you up and say, "Hey, your pussy on fire. We need to put it out." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:39 (laughs) They'd pick you up?

Ms. Pat 56:40 Yeah, they used to pick you up in Atlanta all the time.

Joe Rogan 56:42 How would they know? How would they know?

Ms. Pat 56:42 Because e- he be done gave somebody else crab, gonorrhea, and fleas, so-

Joe Rogan 56:45 Oh, they would tell.

Ms. Pat 56:45 ... some bitch would report everybody he was messing with.

Joe Rogan 56:48 Oh.

Ms. Pat 56:48 And I was always on that list.

Joe Rogan 56:49 Oh, Jesus.

Ms. Pat 56:50 So, but I was like, "How can you tell people that?" I think it's funny that they used to come get me, and me and the Health Department man had a relationship. Now, we wasn't sleeping together. He just say, "Hey, your pussy was on the list again." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:02 (laughs) Oh, God. Oh.

Ms. Pat 57:09 And my husband's like, "How can you tell people that?" I said, "I think it's fucking hilarious."

Joe Rogan 57:12 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 57:12 I don't have a STD now, but I was young. You know? It was g-... yeah, you... it was simple shit, gonorrhea, you get a shot in your ass. And I remember they, they came one time, Joe, and, um, they knocked on the door and they... I said, "Oh my God, you here? I thought you was gonna let me burn up." He's like, "Your pussy on the list, I'm here to put it out." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:31 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 57:31 So, so my-

Joe Rogan 57:33 Wait a minute here, did, is that what he would say?

Ms. Pat 57:35 Pretty much.

Joe Rogan 57:35 Would he actually say, "Your pussy's on the list?"

Ms. Pat 57:37 Pretty much. (laughs) He'd... so-

Joe Rogan 57:38 He would call out your pussy? He would say, "Your pussy's on the list"?

Ms. Pat 57:40 Yeah, he said... No, he said, he said, "Your pussy been reported again." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:43 (laughs) "Your pussy been reported?" Oh.

Ms. Pat 57:45 So, my kids' father was there. I was like, "Let's go together and get cured." He said, "Uh-uh. I don't wanna go. Somebody might see me." So, this is what he told me. He said, "Look." It was gonorrhea. When you have gonorrhea, you either get a shot or you take pills for seven days. So he said, "Look, go on to the Health Department, but don't get the shot. Get the pills so we can split 'em." So, I'm so stupid, I come back and split the seven-day pills with him, and we still both got half of gonorrhea. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:08 (laughs) Jesus Christ. Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 58:11 'Cause we didn't take the medication all the way, so-

Joe Rogan 58:13 Oh my God.

Ms. Pat 58:14 ... that's how stupid I was.

Joe Rogan 58:15 That is so crazy.

Ms. Pat 58:16 My husband is like, "Why he, why you tell people this shit?" And everybody always think he gave me gonorrhea-

Joe Rogan 58:21 (sighs)

Ms. Pat 58:21 ... and shot me and beat me. Like, "Can you please tell these people, I didn't do this shit to you?"

Joe Rogan 58:25 How does he deal with you having this act? Like when you go on stage and talk about all this shit, how does he handle it? Does he cover his ears? Does he-

Ms. Pat 58:32 He never... He only seen me once with-

Joe Rogan 58:33 What?

Ms. Pat 58:34 He won't come see me, Joe.

Joe Rogan 58:36 Come on.

Ms. Pat 58:36 He wouldn't. He came to see me when Katt Williams asked him when I was opening up for Katt Williams. And, um... but that's the only time. But he-

Joe Rogan 58:44 But he's gotta know-

Ms. Pat 58:46 Oh, he know.

Joe Rogan 58:46 ... that you are funny as fuck. Like how does he not wanna see that?

Ms. Pat 58:50 He don't wanna see it, Joe. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:51 Well, tell him to come to The Comedy Store tonight 'cause you're gonna be there for the 10:30 show. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 58:54 Hell yeah, I am, but he's in, he's in Indianapolis. He'll watch your fucking podcast and tell my daughter, "Oh, she was so fucking funny." But he's not gonna directly say to me, "You were so fucking funny."

Joe Rogan 59:04 Oh, really?

Ms. Pat 59:04 But he's my biggest cheerleader. I mean, he support-

Joe Rogan 59:06 Oh, that's funny.

Ms. Pat 59:06 I mean, you know, I've been doing this 17 years. You know how many times I had to max that man's credit card out to go and do a guest spot?

Joe Rogan 59:12 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 59:13 (laughs) So, you know... but he will not come see me. He's like, "Look, I live with you. I hear this shit every day."

Joe Rogan 59:20 Ah! (laughs)

Ms. Pat 59:21 (laughs) And... but he gives me back. Like, he's funny to me. Like I told you, he say, "Not today. I don't want no pussy today."

Joe Rogan 59:26 "Not at all."

Ms. Pat 59:27 Yeah, "Not at all." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:29 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 59:29 He say some of the funniest shit.

Joe Rogan 59:31 Ugh.

Ms. Pat 59:31 But he's a... he's... he... but, you know, he, he-

Joe Rogan 59:33 I can't believe he's only seen you do comedy once though. That's crazy.

Ms. Pat 59:35 One time outta 17 years.

Joe Rogan 59:37 That's a good one though, to open for Katt Williams. Are you still in touch with Katt?

Ms. Pat 59:40 No, but I love Katt. Can't nobody tell me shit about Katt Williams. When my daddy died-

Joe Rogan 59:44 I'm a big fan.

Ms. Pat 59:44 When my daddy died and I was... I had just got a job with Katt Williams. He walked in there. He was like, "What are you doing?" I said, "My daddy died, uh, like two days before he called me on the tour." And I said, "We trying... I'm just trying to get this money together to raise him." Katt Williams go to the bank and come back with a stack of money. He gave me like four grand to bury my daddy. And I was like, "You don't have to do this." And I was like, "I'll work for it." He's like, "Look, no. Go bury your daddy." 'Cause before he did that, I was about to put my fucking daddy in a potato sack and stick him in the ground 'cause we ain't have no money, and I tried to do the fish fry in the Black commu-... I mean, the white neighborhood. They don't know nothing about no fucking fish fry on no Tuesday. And Katt Williams gave me the money to bury him.

Joe Rogan 1:00:20 That's hot. That's beautiful.

Ms. Pat 1:00:21 Yeah, so can't nobody tell me shit about Katt Williams.

Joe Rogan 1:00:24 (coughs) He's crazy but he's funny as fuck. He's, uh, he's one of my favorites, all time.

Ms. Pat 1:00:28 And he tell the fucking truth, too.

Joe Rogan 1:00:29 If you go to the b- go back to like The Pimp Chronicles.

Ms. Pat 1:00:32 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:00:32 He's in his prime. That is ... Those are some of the best specials ever.

Ms. Pat 1:00:35 Yes.

Joe Rogan 1:00:36 He's a funny motherfucker, and he's so original.

Ms. Pat 1:00:39 So original.

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 Like, that is him. You know what I mean? Like, his delivery, his style, everything.

Ms. Pat 1:00:44 I love him. Can't nobody tell me shit about-

Joe Rogan 1:00:46 I'm a fan.

Ms. Pat 1:00:46 ... no Katt Williams.

Joe Rogan 1:00:47 I'm a fan.

Ms. Pat 1:00:47 Because of Katt Williams, I was able to finish my basement after that tour.

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 He, uh, he gave me some ... Well not gave me, but he gave some f- great advice once about comedy. One of the things he said is, "Don't eat before you go on stage." And I was like, "Yeah, why would you? You don't eat before you fight. Why would you eat before you go on stage?"

Ms. Pat 1:01:04 Why?

Joe Rogan 1:01:04 'Cause it causes your body to ... Your body, when you eat, has to break down that food so it- it's, it's using up energy. Like, some of the energy that you would have to do stand-up is now breaking down that food in your body.

Ms. Pat 1:01:16 That's why we about to fall asleep on stage?

Joe Rogan 1:01:18 Yes! Yes.

Ms. Pat 1:01:20 Shit. I gotta stop eating.

Joe Rogan 1:01:22 Just don't eat right before you go on stage. Just eat afterwards.

Ms. Pat 1:01:25 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:01:26 Yeah, I mean, I, I listen to him and I was like, "That makes so much sense." And also, he has a playlist of music that he plays.

Ms. Pat 1:01:32 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:01:32 Right before he goes on stage, like sets it up, like ... And he's like, puts him in the mood to, to go on stage.

Ms. Pat 1:01:38 Yeah, I do that, too. I do that, too.

Joe Rogan 1:01:39 I do that, too.

Ms. Pat 1:01:40 I like a lot of, um ... Um ... I don't wanna, I don't wanna say Outkast but that ain't who I'm going for. Who the fucking rapper I list ... Cardi B! Oh, that little nasty thing. That's what I would be if I had a body like that.

Joe Rogan 1:01:55 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 1:01:55 That Car- ... Oh my God, that girl got a tongue that'll drag a float.

Joe Rogan 1:02:00 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 1:02:00 (laughs) She my ... She that person in my head that I wanna be. I, I listen to a lotta Cardi B. I like her.

Joe Rogan 1:02:05 Well, maybe you can get that body.

Ms. Pat 1:02:07 Uh, Joe-

Joe Rogan 1:02:08 Maybe June, maybe Junebugg.

Ms. Pat 1:02:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:11 Get you in that gym, get on that elliptical machine. Come on.

Ms. Pat 1:02:15 Junebugg, we gonna need you to help your mom out.

Joe Rogan 1:02:17 Come on, Junebugg.

Ms. Pat 1:02:17 And stop your mom from peeing on herself. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:20 (laughs)

Ms. Pat 1:02:20 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:21 Just, just change up the diet.

Ms. Pat 1:02:23 I'm working, I swear, that next time-

Joe Rogan 1:02:24 Hit that gym.

Ms. Pat 1:02:24 ... you see me-

Joe Rogan 1:02:24 Listen to your son.

Ms. Pat 1:02:25 ... I'm gonna look like you.

Joe Rogan 1:02:27 If you ... (laughs) Well-

Ms. Pat 1:02:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:28 ... don't do that. Don't go too hard. I'll tell you, go to a different doctor. (laughs)

Ms. Pat 1:02:35 (laughs) I'm lying.

Joe Rogan 1:02:35 But if you, if you did that, I'm telling you, if you did a video with your son, and your son getting you to the gym, and did that regularly on, on YouTube, Junebugg and Ms Pat. Just do that.

Ms. Pat 1:02:47 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 That shit would be hilarious.

Ms. Pat 1:02:49 It would be.

Joe Rogan 1:02:49 It would be so funny.

Ms. Pat 1:02:50 'Cause I, I cuss ... You know I cuss my kids out.

Joe Rogan 1:02:53 Well, especially when they're making you do shit that you don't wanna do-

Ms. Pat 1:02:55 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:55 ... like working out. Like doing sit-ups and shit, and squats and all that.

Ms. Pat 1:02:58 Yeah, spreading my legs-

Joe Rogan 1:02:59 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 1:02:59 ... wide. It ain't been ... Never been used that way since the '80s. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:04 (laughs) Exactly.

Ms. Pat 1:03:04 Like, you about to rip my butthole.

Joe Rogan 1:03:06 Exactly. Yeah.

Ms. Pat 1:03:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:08 Yeah, yeah.

Ms. Pat 1:03:08 Junebugg, we doing it.

Joe Rogan 1:03:09 Do it. Do it. Definitely do it. So y- so you l- do you bring like, um ... I bring like one of those, um, (smacks lips) um, uh, MP3 ... No, uh, Bluetooth speaker things with me. You know, I have like one of those JBL Extremes. I bring that with me when I put it in the green room, play music.

Ms. Pat 1:03:25 I don't usually listen to music on my ... You talking about before performing?

Joe Rogan 1:03:28 Yeah.

Ms. Pat 1:03:28 No, I, I listen to music, um, on my headphones.

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 On your phone?

Ms. Pat 1:03:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:31 Yeah. But