Joe Rogan Experience #1312 - Ms Pat

1. 0:02 – 3:15

   From Indianapolis boredom to craving Atlanta culture

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Two, one. (claps) Boom! Ms. Pat, we're live. What's up? How are ya?

   2. PAMs. Pat0:07

      Hey.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:07

      Great to see you again.

   4. PAMs. Pat0:08

      Glad to be back.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:09

      Oh.

   6. PAMs. Pat0:09

      Man, this studio is better than my house.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:11

      (laughs)

   8. PAMs. Pat0:12

      Crap. I'm gonna go home and tell my husband we need to move in Joe Rogan's studio.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      There's not a lot of room for extra people. But... (laughs)

   10. PAMs. Pat0:19

       I, I know, I know, I know, (laughs) I know. I was just fantasizing.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:22

       Are you still in Indianapolis?

   12. PAMs. Pat0:24

       Um, unfortunately.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:25

       You don't like it there?

   14. PAMs. Pat0:26

       Hell no.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       (laughs)

   16. PAMs. Pat0:28

       I, I like my fans, but I, I'm, I'm Black, and, uh, you know, it's snow. And snow and weave-

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:33

       Oh.

   18. PAMs. Pat0:33

       ... don't go together.

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       Oh.

   20. PAMs. Pat0:34

       And it... You know? I just don't like it. It's the same ol'. Everybody eating at Applebee's and Golden Corral.

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:41

       Mm-hmm.

   22. PAMs. Pat0:41

       I need culture. I want-

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Culture.

   24. PAMs. Pat0:42

       Yeah, culture.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:42

       Where would you move? What about Chicago?

   26. PAMs. Pat0:44

       I'm cool. I wanna go back to Atlanta.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Atlanta. There you go.

   28. PAMs. Pat0:46

       That's where I wanna be. I wanna be in Atlanta. I wanna-

   29. JRJoe Rogan0:48

       I love Atlanta.

   30. PAMs. Pat0:49

       Yes. Man, the food, the people.
2. 3:15 – 4:34

   Healthcare is the real reason she can’t move: husband’s injuries and work

   1. PAMs. Pat3:15

      Healthcare, Jeff. Healthcare.

   2. JRJoe Rogan3:16

      Oh.

   3. PAMs. Pat3:16

      My husband has a really good job that we pays nothing.

   4. JRJoe Rogan3:19

      Oh.

   5. PAMs. Pat3:20

      His knee just went out, his hand done gone out.

   6. JRJoe Rogan3:22

      Oh, no.

   7. PAMs. Pat3:23

      And, uh, I can't pay for them types of things.

   8. JRJoe Rogan3:25

      What? Uh, damn.

   9. PAMs. Pat3:27

      He tore his ACL running to the cafeteria at work.

   10. JRJoe Rogan3:30

       Oh.

   11. PAMs. Pat3:30

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:30

       I've done that. I've done... I've tore both of 'em.

   13. PAMs. Pat3:33

       You probably were exercising.

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:34

       Yes.

   15. PAMs. Pat3:34

       He was going to get food. (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan3:38

       (laughs)

   17. PAMs. Pat3:38

       Uh, don't watch this episode of Joe Rogan, baby. I'm sorry. (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan3:43

       Tune out now, sir.

   19. PAMs. Pat3:45

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan3:45

       That's a rough one to recover from. It takes a long time.

   21. PAMs. Pat3:47

       Six months.

   22. JRJoe Rogan3:47

       Yeah.

   23. PAMs. Pat3:48

       He was six months. Now he's... He got, uh, carpal tunnel in his hands, so he's getting ready to have hand surgery.

   24. JRJoe Rogan3:52

       Does he type? What does he, uh...?

   25. PAMs. Pat3:53

       He builds the Allison transmission for Allison.

   26. JRJoe Rogan3:56

       Oh, okay.

   27. PAMs. Pat3:57

       For General Motors and all.

   28. JRJoe Rogan3:58

       So he's constantly mo-

   29. PAMs. Pat3:59

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan3:59

       ... moving things with his hands.
3. 4:34 – 5:58

   Launching 'The Pat Down' podcast and mixing political perspectives

   1. JRJoe Rogan4:34

      Well, your podcast is launched now.

   2. PAMs. Pat4:36

      It is.

   3. JRJoe Rogan4:37

      What's it ca-... It's called The Pat Down?

   4. PAMs. Pat4:38

      The Pat Down.

   5. JRJoe Rogan4:39

      I like the name.

   6. PAMs. Pat4:39

      And I have my own song too.

   7. JRJoe Rogan4:41

      Oh, thank you.

   8. PAMs. Pat4:41

      Yes.

   9. JRJoe Rogan4:42

      We're talking about Ari.

   10. PAMs. Pat4:43

       Yes.

   11. JRJoe Rogan4:43

       About Ari getting in trouble for putting other people's songs on his podcast, and they demonetized his podcast.

   12. PAMs. Pat4:49

       Yeah, my nephew, um, may I s- um, Riverdale Shawty, made me my own little Pat Down song.

   13. JRJoe Rogan4:54

       Oh, nice.

   14. PAMs. Pat4:55

       So, yeah. So-

   15. JRJoe Rogan4:55

       Oh, somebody made a song for you? That's beautiful.

   16. PAMs. Pat4:57

       Yeah, yeah. I, I was just trying to do something different. It's only 30 minutes of me talking crap about whatever's going on in my life. You hear the-

   17. JRJoe Rogan5:05

       Perfect.

   18. PAMs. Pat5:05

       You hear my kids in the background getting cussed out. (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan5:09

       (laughs)

   20. PAMs. Pat5:09

       You hear the creditor calling me. And, um, my co-host is a little white boy named Chris who don't know nothing about Black America. And then I got my friend who just, um, uh, he's ready to go march if you, if you need him to.

   21. JRJoe Rogan5:23

       (laughs)

   22. PAMs. Pat5:23

       So, I got... (laughs) I got this libertarian and this crazy-ass Democrat together, and I'm down the middle to say, "Hey, we can all get along." And they hated each other at first.

   23. JRJoe Rogan5:32

       How'd you get them together?

   24. PAMs. Pat5:34

       Because they hated each other. He-

   25. JRJoe Rogan5:35

       So you did it on purpose?

   26. PAMs. Pat5:36

       Yeah, my Black friend thought-

   27. JRJoe Rogan5:37

       (laughs)

   28. PAMs. Pat5:37

       ... Chris was racist. I was like, "No. I know racist. He's not racist. He's just naive to the fact." And so I put 'em together-

   29. JRJoe Rogan5:44

       He's not what?

   30. PAMs. Pat5:45

       Naived.
4. 5:58 – 9:34

   Abortion debate—Georgia law, personal boundaries, and her own abortion story

   1. PAMs. Pat5:58

      So, it... He just didn't understand. So, we get 'em together, and we have these conversation about race, and, uh, we did an episode about abortion, and Chris was like... He's really Christian.

   2. JRJoe Rogan6:08

      Oh.

   3. PAMs. Pat6:08

      And he was like... I was like, "Do you believe a woman should have a right to have an abortion?" He just pitter-pattered on around. I said...... it's craz-- just say yes or fucking no. And finally he said, "I don't believe a woman should have an abortion."

   4. JRJoe Rogan6:18

      Oh.

   5. PAMs. Pat6:18

      I say, "That's fine, but this is my vagina and I can do what I wanna do with it. If I wanna stick firecrackers in my vagina-

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:24

      (laughs)

   7. PAMs. Pat6:24

      ... and turn it into the Fourth of July, Joe Rogan, this is my vagina. As long as I don't get no vagina juice on you."

   8. JRJoe Rogan6:32

      That makes sense.

   9. PAMs. Pat6:32

      Yeah.

   10. JRJoe Rogan6:32

       Um, Atlanta's got a problem now with that, right? Isn't that Georgia just passed a- a new abortion law? A lot of people are abor-

   11. PAMs. Pat6:38

       I don't think it's passed yet, but if they try-

   12. JRJoe Rogan6:39

       Tiffany had a sh- she just canceled her shows.

   13. PAMs. Pat6:41

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan6:42

       Yeah, she just canceled her shows in Atlanta because I think it passed. I think that was the idea. That's why she canceled it.

   15. PAMs. Pat6:48

       I don't think it passed, Joe, 'cause all, the-

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:49

       (sighs)

   17. PAMs. Pat6:49

       ... the TV people haven't pulled out yet.

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:51

       Oh.

   19. PAMs. Pat6:52

       Yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:52

       You think they would if it passed?

   21. PAMs. Pat6:54

       (clicks tongue) I think they would.

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:55

       I think they're making tax money.

   23. PAMs. Pat6:56

       I really think they would. Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:56

       Atlanta got them in there because of tax money.

   25. PAMs. Pat6:58

       Yeah, and I think they'll leave and they'll, you know-

   26. JRJoe Rogan7:00

       You think so?

   27. PAMs. Pat7:00

       ... a lot of people lose their jobs.

   28. JRJoe Rogan7:02

       (inhales through teeth) I don't think they're gonna leave.

   29. PAMs. Pat7:05

       I don't think nobody should be telling us what to do with our bodies.

   30. JRJoe Rogan7:07

       I don't think so either.
5. 9:34 – 13:17

   Raising family “crack babies”: custody battles, sacrifice, and creating stability

   1. PAMs. Pat9:34

      But, you know, Joe, I'm Black, so my family smoke crack, so they keep giving me their kids. (laughs) So-

   2. JRJoe Rogan9:39

      Oh, that's true too. Yeah.

   3. PAMs. Pat9:40

      I had to tie my tubes to make room for the crack babies that keep coming in and out of my house. (blows) I'm raising four right now.

   4. JRJoe Rogan9:47

      Really?

   5. PAMs. Pat9:47

      Yeah, I have my niece, my niece, um... I- I picked up my niece, like, five years ago to help her out. Oh, she had a baby that was two weeks old. And I have this thing, like, all kids deserve a solid foundation, because I didn't have one. So I picked... And this is my third set of kids I've raised, and I'm just 47. So I picked my niece up, sh- baby two weeks old, and she got three other kids. I said, "Okay, I got this big house in Indianapolis. Come live with me. I got three, four extra bedroom." Well, this bitch ran off and left me with them kids. (laughs) Now I have a five, uh, eight-

   6. JRJoe Rogan10:18

      She left you with her kids?

   7. PAMs. Pat10:19

      Yeah, and a 10 and 11 year old. And I've had these kids for six years, and I literally have not seen my niece in almost four years.

   8. JRJoe Rogan10:28

      Jesus Christ.

   9. PAMs. Pat10:28

      No phone call, no nothing. And, you know, I'm trying to build a career. So I have a daughter who... M- my whole, my, all my, my kids who was at the house now had to make a major sacrifice. Like, my daughter couldn't go off to college because she didn't wanna leave my husband with these four kids. So she went to college in Indianapolis, but she stay- she went mostly from, you know, home. My son couldn't go off to college because they at home helping raise these four kids that I call my crack babies.

   10. JRJoe Rogan10:57

       (laughs)

   11. PAMs. Pat10:57

       But they at home raising my crack babies (laughs) because you don't wanna leave my husband with all four-

   12. JRJoe Rogan11:01

       Oh.

   13. PAMs. Pat11:01

       ... of these crack babies by theyselves. So, you know-

   14. JRJoe Rogan11:05

       And where, where is the mother?

   15. PAMs. Pat11:07

       You wanna hear something crazy? The bitch blocked me on Facebook, Joe. She won't even let me be her friend (laughs) on Facebook.

   16. JRJoe Rogan11:12

       What? You're taking care of her children?

   17. PAMs. Pat11:15

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan11:15

       And she blocked you on Facebook?

   19. PAMs. Pat11:16

       She-

   20. JRJoe Rogan11:16

       Why'd she block you?

   21. PAMs. Pat11:18

       'Cause I kept saying, "I'm gonna kill you, bitch." I told- (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan11:21

       (laughs) (clapping)

   23. PAMs. Pat11:24

       Joe.

   24. JRJoe Rogan11:24

       Oh!

   25. PAMs. Pat11:25

       I was ready to live my best life. I said, "Oh-

   26. JRJoe Rogan11:27

       Uh...

   27. PAMs. Pat11:27

       ... I'm making some money. Me and my husband will go to Hawaii, get naked, float in the water."

   28. JRJoe Rogan11:30

       Right?

   29. PAMs. Pat11:30

       And bam, four crack babies.

   30. JRJoe Rogan11:32

       Uh...
6. 13:17 – 19:08

   Culture shock at school and parenting in a white neighborhood

   1. PAMs. Pat13:17

      So I made sure that these kids can't go back to that situation. Now I call them my bougie crack babies. They won't even eat McDonald's, only Chick-fil-A. (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan13:27

      (laughs)

   3. PAMs. Pat13:27

      They be like, "Oh, we don't eat McDonald's. We eat Chick-fil-A." And I was like, "I remember when your ass didn't eat at all, baby." (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan13:38

      (laughs) Oh my God.

   5. PAMs. Pat13:39

      They give me great material, but it's, it's not easy, but I'm, you know-

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:43

      Do they know you call them crack babies?

   7. PAMs. Pat13:45

      No, they don't see a-

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:46

      (laughs)

   9. PAMs. Pat13:48

      (laughs) My husband says, "Stop calling these damn kids crack babies."

   10. JRJoe Rogan13:51

       Oh, Jesus.

   11. PAMs. Pat13:51

       I'm like, "He's a crack baby." (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan13:53

       Fuck. Oh my God.

   13. PAMs. Pat13:55

       They don't know I call them crack babies. (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan13:57

       Yeah.

   15. PAMs. Pat13:57

       Only America know that I call them crack babies, but y'all can't call them crack babies.

   16. JRJoe Rogan14:02

       Oh my God. So do they, do they call you mom?

   17. PAMs. Pat14:04

       Uh, they do and it's kind of weird.

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:07

       Oh, that's cool. That's cool, though.

   19. PAMs. Pat14:07

       So they just started calling me mom out of nowhere. I'm like, "Don't call me fucking mom, I'm an auntie."

   20. JRJoe Rogan14:12

       Aw.

   21. PAMs. Pat14:12

       And, but n- now I just let them go.

   22. JRJoe Rogan14:13

       That's beautiful.

   23. PAMs. Pat14:15

       Well, they go to school and they see all the, you know, I live in this white community, and they see all these kids with a mom and a daddy, and they say, "Well, why don't we have it?" And they just started calling me mom.

   24. JRJoe Rogan14:23

       Aw.

   25. PAMs. Pat14:23

       And so we're mom. And my daughter who, um, she just graduated from college, but she's, they got two moms and then my dad, my husband is, uh, their daddy.

   26. JRJoe Rogan14:32

       Aw.

   27. PAMs. Pat14:32

       Yes.

   28. JRJoe Rogan14:33

       I love that.

   29. PAMs. Pat14:34

       Well, thank you. Thank you.

   30. JRJoe Rogan14:35

       You, that's a beautiful thing you're doing. It really is, even though the, the lady's a cunt.
7. 19:08 – 22:49

   Wild childhood stories: dogs, survival, and being 'too real' for sheltered America

   1. JRJoe Rogan19:08

      I run with a knife. When I run, I, I carry a knife with me just in case, 'cause there's mountain lions in my community.

   2. PAMs. Pat19:14

      Really?

   3. JRJoe Rogan19:14

      Yeah, yeah. They've seen 'em. And I run with my dog, and if a mountain lion tries to jack me or my dog, I wanna have something on me.

   4. PAMs. Pat19:21

      So you, you... If he jack your dog, you gonna stab him?

   5. JRJoe Rogan19:24

      Fuck yeah.

   6. PAMs. Pat19:25

      You know, I was just telling the story about my... You know, I'm from the South, right? So back in the day, and don't get offended, people, but, you know, dog fighting is big in the South.

   7. JRJoe Rogan19:32

      Mm-hmm.

   8. PAMs. Pat19:32

      So we didn't fight, like, no dangerous shit. We just put some Now and Laters on the ground. Whoever dog get the best, they winning Now and Later. Well, my dog was named Pup Pup.

   9. JRJoe Rogan19:40

      Now or Later? You mean, like, candy?

   10. PAMs. Pat19:42

       Now and Laters.

   11. JRJoe Rogan19:43

       Candy?

   12. PAMs. Pat19:44

       The candy, yeah.

   13. JRJoe Rogan19:45

       The candy.

   14. PAMs. Pat19:45

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan19:45

       So you f- have the dogs fight over candy?

   16. PAMs. Pat19:47

       Yeah. Eh, w- w- we would split 'em.

   17. JRJoe Rogan19:49

       Oh, shit.

   18. PAMs. Pat19:49

       Me and my dog used to split the candy whenever we went. (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan19:54

       (laughs) The dog gets some candy if it wins?

   20. PAMs. Pat19:55

       Well, Black dogs used to eat anything back then. (laughs)

   21. JRJoe Rogan19:58

       Oh my God.

   22. PAMs. Pat19:58

       Collard green, pig feet, whatever black... Black people didn't buy dog food. So we would, we would... Me and my dog would fight a lot, but if you got the best of my dog, I would jump in and whoop your dog ass.

   23. JRJoe Rogan20:07

       (laughs)

   24. PAMs. Pat20:07

       'Cause I... You was not gonna whoop my old-ass German shepherd ass.

   25. JRJoe Rogan20:11

       (laughs)

   26. PAMs. Pat20:11

       Now don't be calling in, be talking about I'm abusing the dog 'cause I don't own no fucking dogs. I got four crack babies and I don't have an animal. This was back in the day and I was a little girl. But that's what we used to do.

   27. JRJoe Rogan20:21

       It is a, a big thing in the South, period. I knew a guy, uh, who had 30 pit bulls in his backyard. He had these, uh, boxes-

   28. PAMs. Pat20:29

       Mm-hmm.

   29. JRJoe Rogan20:30

       ... like, that he would... The dogs lived in these little dog houses, and they were chained to a post, and they were in his yard. And, uh, I di- I didn't see it. My friend was telling me about it, but I knew the guy.

   30. PAMs. Pat20:39

       Yeah.
8. 22:49 – 27:23

   R. Kelly, sex talk, and the brutally honest marriage bits (Sleep Number bed saga)

   1. JRJoe Rogan22:49

      What do you think about all this R. Kelly shit?

   2. PAMs. Pat22:53

      (laughs) Um, I think he did it, Joe.

   3. JRJoe Rogan22:57

      Yeah.

   4. PAMs. Pat22:57

      I mean, but people just looked-

   5. JRJoe Rogan22:59

      Well, it's pretty obvious.

   6. PAMs. Pat22:59

      People just looked away, you know?

   7. JRJoe Rogan23:01

      Yeah.

   8. PAMs. Pat23:01

      It, it's, it... I, I tell a bit on stage. I said, "Something about a big dick man, big dick Black man that can't read, they puts it down. They have awesome women." (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan23:11

      (laughs) They can't read, they put it down. Oh.

   10. PAMs. Pat23:14

       My first kids' father couldn't read. (laughs) When, when they ain't got no side teeth and they can't read, they got the best sex, 'cause they practice all the time. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan23:22

       (laughs)

   12. PAMs. Pat23:24

       Black mens who can't read don't, don't have sex like Black mens who got a nine-to-five, who can read. The sex is totally different.

   13. JRJoe Rogan23:31

       Because they're not tired.

   14. PAMs. Pat23:33

       Because they practice. All they do is practice on women. Man, you got... My husband gotta go to work, Joe. He ain't got time to be flipping me over, slapping me across the head. (laughs)

   15. JRJoe Rogan23:46

       (laughs)

   16. PAMs. Pat23:46

       He ain't got time for all that ghetto love.

   17. JRJoe Rogan23:48

       Oh my God, I'm crying.

   18. PAMs. Pat23:50

       (laughs) He ain't got time for all that ghetto love.

   19. JRJoe Rogan23:52

       (laughs)

   20. PAMs. Pat23:52

       But when you got a brother that can't read and don't work, the best sex.

   21. JRJoe Rogan23:56

       Mm-hmm.

   22. PAMs. Pat23:56

       Now, he ain't gonna go to work, but he gonna watch The Young and the Restless.

   23. JRJoe Rogan23:59

       Mm-hmm.

   24. PAMs. Pat23:59

       And The Housewives of Atlanta. But you, when you know when he get back, that, that dick is laying on that pillow for you. (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan24:10

       Jesus Christ.

   26. PAMs. Pat24:12

       So (laughs) I know what Whitney Houston went through. Everybody like, "Bye, bad guy!"... shit, and I was like, "That's that dick Bobby putting down." (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan24:18

       (laughs)

   28. PAMs. Pat24:19

       And you know he had to work even harder because he had more money den him.

   29. JRJoe Rogan24:22

       Right.

   30. PAMs. Pat24:23

       Yeah.
9. 27:23 – 34:00

   Menopause, hot flashes, and the double standard in women’s healthcare

   1. PAMs. Pat27:23

      I'm going through menopause. I might need to get that too. I'm be heating up, Joe.

   2. JRJoe Rogan27:27

      Yeah.

   3. PAMs. Pat27:27

      That heat, oh, my ti- I'm like, I'm having a hot flash now and I don't wanna drop my titties on your table.

   4. JRJoe Rogan27:32

      Woo.

   5. PAMs. Pat27:32

      (laughs) But boy, I've been-

   6. JRJoe Rogan27:33

      You gotta be seeing here.

   7. PAMs. Pat27:34

      I don't feel it, Joe. When you got the AC-

   8. JRJoe Rogan27:36

      I'll turn it up for you.

   9. PAMs. Pat27:36

      AC can't stop no hot flash. It's like five, five minutes. I'm heating up now, but, yeah, oh, I got-

   10. JRJoe Rogan27:42

       And it goes away?

   11. PAMs. Pat27:43

       Yeah, it goes away.

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:44

       What, what is that caused by?

   13. PAMs. Pat27:46

       I don't know. You gotta ask Mary. I don't know what Mary did in the beginning.

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:49

       It was Mary with Jesus?

   15. PAMs. Pat27:50

       Yeah. No.

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:51

       Was-

   17. PAMs. Pat27:51

       Mary with Jesus? Wasn't that Jesus' mama?

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:53

       Yeah.

   19. PAMs. Pat27:53

       I don't read the Bible.

   20. JRJoe Rogan27:54

       Who do you mean?

   21. PAMs. Pat27:55

       Mary.

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:55

       Mary who, but who do you mean when you're saying Mary? Gotta ask Mary.

   23. PAMs. Pat27:58

       Who's Mary? No, I'm sorry. I'm talking about Eve.

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:59

       Yeah. Eve. Oh, oh.

   25. PAMs. Pat27:59

       The lady who stop, who started the period.

   26. JRJoe Rogan28:01

       Eve. That bitch.

   27. PAMs. Pat28:01

       I'm sorry. I get that... Oh, that bitch. (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan28:03

       Yeah, she fucked everything up.

   29. PAMs. Pat28:05

       Yeah, Joe. Every time I get-

   30. JRJoe Rogan28:06

       It's because of that talking snake.
10. 34:00 – 43:24

    Weight loss surgery, body goals, and Junebug’s dramatic transformation

    1. PAMs. Pat34:00

       I want my stomach done once I finish losing weight.

    2. JRJoe Rogan34:03

       Don't do it. Don't get put under.

    3. PAMs. Pat34:04

       Why? I want my titties lifted. You don't know my titties, Joe.

    4. JRJoe Rogan34:07

       (laughs) Getting put ... (laughs) Just getting, getting put under is what I worry about.

    5. PAMs. Pat34:11

       Well, shit. I mean, I want my titties lifted.

    6. JRJoe Rogan34:13

       I understand that.

    7. PAMs. Pat34:13

       It's hard when you got big titties and they all in your lap and shit when your bra come off. Do you want your wife to walk out the shower with her titties looking like they been in a drive-by?

    8. JRJoe Rogan34:20

       I, I feel you. I understand what you're saying.

    9. PAMs. Pat34:22

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan34:22

        I do.

    11. PAMs. Pat34:22

        So, I want my titties lifted, I want my, um, just my-

    12. JRJoe Rogan34:25

        I want-

    13. PAMs. Pat34:25

        ... stomach done.

    14. JRJoe Rogan34:26

        I want you to stay alive, Ms. Pat.

    15. PAMs. Pat34:27

        I'm gonna stay alive.

    16. JRJoe Rogan34:28

        I love you. I want you to be happy.

    17. PAMs. Pat34:29

        I love you too. I'm gonna get me a rejuvenation too. (laughs)

    18. JRJoe Rogan34:33

        Don't do it. Don't do it. (laughs) Don't get it tightened up. (laughs)

    19. PAMs. Pat34:36

        (laughs)

    20. JRJoe Rogan34:36

        I thought you said you don't even want anymore dick. Why are you getting it tightened up?

    21. PAMs. Pat34:39

        Well, I'm going through panty liners like Pampers. (laughs)

    22. JRJoe Rogan34:43

        (laughs) Oh, my God. But will rejuvenation fix that?

    23. PAMs. Pat34:47

        I don't know, but I got a leak that a plumber can't fix, Joe.

    24. JRJoe Rogan34:50

        Oh, no.

    25. PAMs. Pat34:51

        (laughs)

    26. JRJoe Rogan34:51

        What's, what is exactly leaking?

    27. PAMs. Pat34:53

        It's my, "Oh, no."

    28. JRJoe Rogan34:53

        What's happening in there?

    29. PAMs. Pat34:55

        (laughs) Just coughing, huh, choo, I'm wet. (laughs)

    30. JRJoe Rogan34:59

        (laughs)
11. 43:24 – 50:35

    ‘Government butter’ myths, ghetto home remedies, and America’s low-quality food systems

    1. PAMs. Pat43:24

       I, you know what I don't understand? I'm from the inner city of Atlanta. When we was coming up, Joe, if you wanted titties and ass, they had this thing going around, and I did a podcast on it, I said we didn't... People, black people didn't know what plastic surgery was. So the deal was you take that government butter and you rub it on your titties and your ass, and they said it'll make it grow.

    2. JRJoe Rogan43:42

       What?

    3. PAMs. Pat43:42

       Yeah. I'm not lying to you. That's what we used to do back in the day.

    4. JRJoe Rogan43:45

       Did it work?

    5. PAMs. Pat43:45

       Watch out. Look at me.

    6. JRJoe Rogan43:47

       Yeah, but I don't-

    7. PAMs. Pat43:48

       Look, look at me.

    8. JRJoe Rogan43:49

       I don't think it's from the butter.

    9. PAMs. Pat43:51

       Oh, ev- everybody I know rubbed butter on their ass got (laughs) .

    10. JRJoe Rogan43:56

        (laughs)

    11. PAMs. Pat43:58

        You don't know that government butter. That shit won't melt up on the hot water, Joe. (laughs)

    12. JRJoe Rogan44:03

        It won't? Oh.

    13. PAMs. Pat44:03

        That's that shit (laughs) they sent to the ghetto to kill everybody.

    14. JRJoe Rogan44:08

        Oh. (laughs)

    15. PAMs. Pat44:09

        Joe, I gotta tell you this story.

    16. JRJoe Rogan44:10

        Oh.

    17. PAMs. Pat44:10

        So one time, I was in the tub and m- my neighbor was like, "Just put the butter on your titty and your ass." We put the butter all on, my momma wake up, she say, "No, you bitches ain't got my butter on y'all. You know that shit gotta last me 28 more day." She took that extension cord and she hit us and that motherfucker stuck in that butter. (laughs)

    18. JRJoe Rogan44:26

        (fart noise)

    19. PAMs. Pat44:27

        She t- she gave us one of them wooden poohs, she said, "Scrape my shit off, you bitches." We in there scraping her butter all off us. She put that shit back in the refrigerator and she beat the shit out of us. (laughs)

    20. JRJoe Rogan44:35

        Oh my God. She scraped the butter off your tits and put it back in the fridge?

    21. PAMs. Pat44:40

        (laughs) We were poor, we couldn't waste all that good butter, Joe. (laughs)

    22. JRJoe Rogan44:43

        Oh my God, that is hilarious.

    23. PAMs. Pat44:45

        (laughs) She beat the shit out of us playing in her butter.

    24. JRJoe Rogan44:48

        Imagine if butter really did that. All you had to do to get big tits and a big ass, just gr- rub butter on it.

    25. PAMs. Pat44:54

        I- I've had titties since the fourth grade, so that's when I, I didn't like getting (laughs) like-

    26. JRJoe Rogan44:58

        I think you just have good genetics.

    27. PAMs. Pat45:00

        No, Joe, my momma didn't have no titties.

    28. JRJoe Rogan45:02

        Yeah, but sometimes it doesn't get your mom, but it goes to you.

    29. PAMs. Pat45:05

        Joe, I'm trying to sell this government butter-

    30. JRJoe Rogan45:07

        Skips people. (laughs)
12. 50:35 – 55:55

    Church, pastors, Joel Osteen, and religion as a hustle

    1. PAMs. Pat50:35

       You know, that's why I don't go to church. I, I tell them all the time, I'm tired of Church's Chicken. You get more for your money.

    2. JRJoe Rogan50:40

       Church's Chicken's better? (laughs)

    3. PAMs. Pat50:42

       Yeah. Yeah. (laughs) Two Dollar Tuesday, get you two pieces of chicken and a biscuit. What you talking about, Joe?

    4. JRJoe Rogan50:48

       (laughs)

    5. PAMs. Pat50:48

       Believe that Popeyes alone on Tues and go to Church's.

    6. JRJoe Rogan50:51

       Yeah, but do they have Po- the spicy? Is Church's-

    7. PAMs. Pat50:53

       Yeah, they got spicies now.

    8. JRJoe Rogan50:54

       ... have spicy?

    9. PAMs. Pat50:54

       Yeah.

    10. JRJoe Rogan50:55

        Hmm, okay.

    11. PAMs. Pat50:55

        Mm-hmm. Yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan50:56

        See, that's the thing that Popeye separated from everybody else.

    13. PAMs. Pat50:57

        I'm not, I'm not giving no pastor my money.

    14. JRJoe Rogan51:00

        Good for you.

    15. PAMs. Pat51:00

        And riding out there. I mean, if I'm ... Hey, the Bible is free. They in every hotel. Just steal the Bible out the hotel like everybody else used to.

    16. JRJoe Rogan51:06

        Yeah.

    17. PAMs. Pat51:07

        I'm not gonna give you my money, and you out here b- buying jets and shit, and I'm struggling.

    18. JRJoe Rogan51:12

        Exactly.

    19. PAMs. Pat51:12

        And then you fucking the hos in church. You ain't sharing the hos in church no more.

    20. JRJoe Rogan51:15

        They're fucking the hos in church?

    21. PAMs. Pat51:16

        Oh, yeah, they be some fucking ... You know (smacks lips)

    22. JRJoe Rogan51:18

        I don't know, I don't go to church.

    23. PAMs. Pat51:19

        The hos go to church with no underwear on.

    24. JRJoe Rogan51:21

        (Gasps) Ho!

    25. PAMs. Pat51:21

        To get the pastor.

    26. JRJoe Rogan51:23

        No.

    27. PAMs. Pat51:23

        Oh, fuck the First Lady. They don't care nothing about the First Lady no more. (laughs)

    28. JRJoe Rogan51:26

        Really?

    29. PAMs. Pat51:27

        Hell.

    30. JRJoe Rogan51:28

        The hos wear no underwear in church to lure the pastor in?
13. 55:55 – 1:29:47

    Comedy as healing: trauma, writing her book, forgiveness, and breaking learned fear

    1. PAMs. Pat55:55

       It's funny now, Joe. It's just that I took a... I, you know, I, I say on stage, I said, um, uh, "When you, when you, when you can laugh at what you been through, then you got control of it." And it-

    2. JRJoe Rogan56:06

       Yes.

    3. PAMs. Pat56:06

       ... only reason why I can laugh about being shot, and I even... (laughs) my husband hate this bit I do. I do a bit about, uh, my first kid's father, you know, giving me crabs, gonorrhea, and fleas. (laughs)

    4. JRJoe Rogan56:19

       (laughs) He gave you fleas? Jesus Christ.

    5. PAMs. Pat56:22

       He gave me a combo with no toy. (laughs)

    6. JRJoe Rogan56:26

       (laughs) Fucking fleas?

    7. PAMs. Pat56:27

       (laughs)

    8. JRJoe Rogan56:28

       I mean, people get crabs, I get it, but when someone gives you fleas, like what the fuck?

    9. PAMs. Pat56:32

       But back in those days, the Health Department would come and pick you up and say, "Hey, your pussy on fire. We need to put it out." (laughs)

    10. JRJoe Rogan56:39

        (laughs) They'd pick you up?

    11. PAMs. Pat56:40

        Yeah, they used to pick you up in Atlanta all the time.

    12. JRJoe Rogan56:42

        How would they know? How would they know?

    13. PAMs. Pat56:42

        Because e- he be done gave somebody else crab, gonorrhea, and fleas, so-

    14. JRJoe Rogan56:45

        Oh, they would tell.

    15. PAMs. Pat56:45

        ... some bitch would report everybody he was messing with.

    16. JRJoe Rogan56:48

        Oh.

    17. PAMs. Pat56:48

        And I was always on that list.

    18. JRJoe Rogan56:49

        Oh, Jesus.

    19. PAMs. Pat56:50

        So, but I was like, "How can you tell people that?" I think it's funny that they used to come get me, and me and the Health Department man had a relationship. Now, we wasn't sleeping together. He just say, "Hey, your pussy was on the list again." (laughs)

    20. JRJoe Rogan57:02

        (laughs) Oh, God. Oh.

    21. PAMs. Pat57:09

        And my husband's like, "How can you tell people that?" I said, "I think it's fucking hilarious."

    22. JRJoe Rogan57:12

        (laughs)

    23. PAMs. Pat57:12

        I don't have a STD now, but I was young. You know? It was g-... yeah, you... it was simple shit, gonorrhea, you get a shot in your ass. And I remember they, they came one time, Joe, and, um, they knocked on the door and they... I said, "Oh my God, you here? I thought you was gonna let me burn up." He's like, "Your pussy on the list, I'm here to put it out." (laughs)

    24. JRJoe Rogan57:31

        (laughs)

    25. PAMs. Pat57:31

        So, so my-

    26. JRJoe Rogan57:33

        Wait a minute here, did, is that what he would say?

    27. PAMs. Pat57:35

        Pretty much.

    28. JRJoe Rogan57:35

        Would he actually say, "Your pussy's on the list?"

    29. PAMs. Pat57:37

        Pretty much. (laughs) He'd... so-

    30. JRJoe Rogan57:38

        He would call out your pussy? He would say, "Your pussy's on the list"?

Episode duration: 1:39:28