The Joe Rogan ExperienceJoe Rogan Experience #1409 - Joey Diaz
CHAPTERS
- 0:02 – 0:29
Vulgar texting jokes and the misery of office life
Joey opens with a crude joke about explicit photos he sends as a “happy Monday” disruption. Joe riffes on how soul-crushing long-term office work can be, and Joey imagines the perfect timing of sending something obscene during a serious corporate meeting.
- •Joey’s “monkey” photo gag and why he sends it to everyone
- •Joe’s description of office culture: self-censorship, meetings, and burnout
- •Joey’s fantasy of derailing a corporate meeting with an NSFW text
- •Shared comedy premise: breaking tension for stressed-out workers
- 0:29 – 1:36
Sales meetings, Tony Robbins seminars, and Joey’s Subaru origin story
The conversation shifts to Joey’s past working around car dealerships and attending Tony Robbins seminars (including fire-walking). Joe and Joey connect this era to Joey’s long-running loyalty to Subaru and his experiences driving in harsh weather.
- •Joey claims he attended Tony Robbins events while living a wild life
- •Fire-walking and the self-help seminar culture
- •Joe teases Joey about being a perfect Subaru spokesperson
- •Early Colorado life and how winter driving shaped car preferences
- 1:36 – 7:48
Why Subarus thrive in snow: quirky engineering and dealership lessons
Joey explains what made Subarus stand out in Boulder/Colorado, from snow performance to unusual engine layout. He recounts learning car basics on the job and highlights older Subaru features that felt ahead of their time.
- •Black ice stories and why AWD matters in real conditions
- •Joey’s dealership training and learning car fundamentals fast
- •Subaru’s distinct engine layout (their “secret sauce,” loosely described)
- •GL10 features like adjustable ride height for snow
- •Old mechanical quirks: stick shift/clutch cable weaknesses
- 7:48 – 9:34
Reliability, value for money, and how good modern cars have become
They broaden out from Subaru to overall car reliability, praising Toyota/Lexus longevity and discussing how performance has become affordable. Joe marvels at how today’s baseline vehicles outperform older high-end cars.
- •Toyota/Lexus reliability and million-mile vehicle stories
- •Joey’s “you get a dollar’s worth for a dollar” value argument
- •Modern Mustang performance vs. older eras; price shock with Jamie’s stats
- •Leasing, low interest rates, and why it’s a good time to buy/lease
- •How Japanese (and later Korean) manufacturers forced quality improvements
- 9:34 – 23:10
Car culture tangents: Italians, old “tin can” cars, and the RX-7 as a ‘casket’
Joe jokes that Italian cars were historically unreliable, while Joey runs through memorable fads and oddities from past decades. The talk turns dark when Joey recalls seeing a devastating crash that permanently soured him on small sports cars like the RX-7.
- •Jabs at Italian reliability and the pain of owning niche cars
- •Vintage oddballs: Volkswagen Thing, Subaru Justy, early Hyundai bargains
- •Mitsubishi stigma tied to WWII-era associations and parts sourcing
- •Suzuki Samurai tipping-over stories and safety jokes
- •Mazda RX-7 rotary-engine discussion and Joey’s traumatic crash memory
- 23:10 – 28:30
From Shelby GT500s to electric Mustangs and Tesla’s market dominance
They geek out on American muscle history and modern horsepower arms races, including the Shelby GT500 and Ford vs. Ferrari’s GT40. The conversation pivots to EV branding controversies and Tesla’s staggering valuation compared to legacy automakers.
- •Classic Mustang design talk and Carroll Shelby’s performance legacy
- •GT500 pricing/horsepower and why modern speed is ‘too easy’ to buy
- •Ford vs. Ferrari: clarifying GT500 vs. GT40 race car lineage
- •Electric Mustang branding controversy and “SUV wearing a Mustang name”
- •Tesla’s valuation surge and Elon Musk as a disruptive force
- 28:30 – 32:41
Leasing debates, Cadillac lust, and iconic cars from TV history
Joey weighs adding cars beyond Subaru, with Joe pushing him toward a Cadillac (CTS-V admiration). They wander into Lincoln nostalgia and then into classic pop-culture vehicles like the Green Hornet’s ‘Black Beauty.’
- •Joey’s practical criteria: door feel, metal thickness, service avoidance
- •Cadillac CTS-V design praise and leasing offers
- •Lincoln Continental nostalgia and the allure of suicide doors
- •Green Hornet car talk: the Black Beauty and retro automotive style
- •How car identity, image, and “cool factor” shape decisions
- 32:41 – 39:59
Bruce Lee on TV: cultural impact, bad old fight scenes, and martial-arts nostalgia
They watch and react to old Green Hornet clips and discuss how massive Bruce Lee’s impact was in the era of only a few TV channels. The segment expands into kung fu cinema’s rise and how those movies inspired whole communities.
- •Bruce Lee’s influence amplified by limited TV options of the time
- •Comedic teardown of old TV fight choreography (especially without audio)
- •Kung fu films going mainstream: Five Fingers of Death and beyond
- •Bruce Lee as a symbol of hope for ‘the little guy’ and immigrants
- •Joey’s frustration with modern hindsight takes on Lee’s legacy
- 39:59 – 45:56
Movies, comics as ‘weapons,’ and the anxiety ride of Uncut Gems
They jump from martial arts to modern films and comedians’ longevity, praising veterans who evolve over decades. Joey describes watching Uncut Gems high and feeling the film’s relentless stress like a snapshot of his own past hustle.
- •Dolemite praise, Wesley Snipes’ performance, and career comebacks
- •Joey’s stance: great comics/actors can hit from many angles
- •Uncut Gems as nonstop pressure; Joey relates it to old life patterns
- •Film talk: Joker and tension around Tarantino’s Bruce Lee depiction
- •How long careers sharpen performers into “weapons”
- 45:56 – 1:05:29
Writing on the road: iPad workflow, avoiding social media, and fitness routines
Joey details how he uses travel time for movies, note-taking, and polishing jokes, with strict boundaries against social media distractions. Joe and Joey compare road schedules, why working out improves sets, and how age changes touring strategy.
- •Joey’s iPad + keyboard workflow, tagging, and drafting process
- •No Twitter/Facebook on the road to protect focus and mindset
- •Working out as a performance enhancer; beating travel fog
- •Why long “Wednesday–Sunday” runs burn comics out
- •A ‘modern’ efficient touring plan: arrive early, tip big, minimize promo
- 1:05:29 – 1:15:42
Comedy Store risk-taking, a provocative ‘Me Too’ bit, and LA’s exploitation history
Joey talks about bombing while testing new material and argues you must bring experiments to the Comedy Store. The discussion veers into ‘Me Too’ language, Hollywood’s long history of abuse, and documentary examples like Bikram.
- •Failing on purpose to develop material vs. playing it safe
- •Debating what “me too-ing” is grammatically and culturally
- •Joey’s edgy premise: learning boundaries through mistakes (as a kid)
- •Bikram documentary references and industry power dynamics
- •Old Hollywood exploitation references (Marilyn Monroe, Fatty Arbuckle)
- 1:15:42 – 1:30:50
Old media in today’s moral lens: Ace Ventura, Disney backlash, and the ‘bad people did good things’ dilemma
They react to how older movies and entertainment would be received today, using Ace Ventura’s trans-focused joke as an example. From Disney’s buried history to canceled stadium songs, Joe expands into the broader issue of separating achievements from monstrous behavior (Fritz Haber).
- •Ace Ventura ending as an example of now-unacceptable mainstream comedy
- •Disney+ controversies and ‘Song of the South’ / Splash Mountain context
- •Kate Smith stadium tradition vs. rediscovered racist songs and lyrics
- •Joe’s moral paradox: Fritz Haber feeding billions while enabling gas warfare
- •How society decides what to preserve, edit, or condemn from the past
- 1:30:50 – 1:36:28
Why laughter matters: kids movies, nostalgia music, weed culture, and the return of vinyl/albums
They reset to a more uplifting theme: comedy’s value, stress relief, and the joy of sharing media with kids. The conversation spans family movies, music bonding, weed accessories, classic comedy albums, and why the “album experience” is coming back.
- •Laughter as stress reduction and a key life skill (including self-laughter)
- •Kid films vs. adult films; Jumanji and Pixar as surprising standouts
- •Music as shared history; classic songs used in modern franchises
- •Weed talk: blunts, rolling skill, and Tommy Chong nostalgia
- •Vinyl/album culture: packaging, ritual, and listening as an ‘event’
- 1:36:28 – 2:02:12
Anxiety triggers, jiu-jitsu logistics, writing method, and ‘Don’t F*** With Cats’
Joey describes a nightly anxiety window rooted in past addiction patterns and how he manages it with controlled routines. They dig into training schedules, writing mechanics, and Joey recommends the disturbing internet-true-crime doc Don’t F*** With Cats.
- •Joey’s ‘7:30 anxiety’ as addiction-related PTSD and coping routines
- •Night classes vs. morning training: energy, family, and recovery
- •Joe’s experience training with “murderers” at 10th Planet nighttime class
- •Joey’s structured writing approach: premise first, polish later
- •Don’t F*** With Cats as a modern cautionary tale about online obsession
- 2:02:12 – 2:29:48
Epstein’s death, workplace harassment power games, priests scandal, and personal predator stories
They dive into Michael Baden’s Epstein analysis and the many suspicious failures around jail surveillance and procedure. From there, the conversation broadens into institutional abuse—Fox News harassment, Catholic Church scandals—and both share chilling experiences of being targeted as kids.
- •Epstein autopsy debate: neck injuries, tape issues, and ‘too many coincidences’
- •Bombshell/Roger Ailes and the mechanics of powerful men exploiting women
- •Catholic Church abuse: alleged percentages, payouts, and systemic cover-ups
- •Joe and Joey recount near-abductions and grooming attempts in youth
- •How communities used to “know the creeps,” and why protection instincts intensify with kids
- 2:29:48 – 3:05:27
Sex work gray areas, massage-parlor comedy, toenail fungus horror, and the big fight betting preview
They discuss prostitution and exploitation in Hollywood as a ‘dream factory’ that attracts predators, then pivot to Joey’s humorous (and gross) foot spa and fungus saga. The episode closes with sports gambling talk, UFC McGregor vs. Cerrone analysis, and a nostalgic boxing run through Duran/Hagler-era classics.
- •Debating consensual sex-for-money vs. trafficking assumptions and public hypocrisy
- •Joey’s ‘Hung Foot Spa’ routine and the comedic dangers of shady massage districts
- •Extended gross-out bit: fungal toenail treatments, sanding, and failed fixes
- •Gambling strategy, lines, and over/under discussion for McGregor vs. Cerrone
- •Fight analysis: Conor’s pressure handling vs. Cowboy’s well-rounded tools; boxing nostalgia (Duk Koo Kim, Duran vs. Leonard)
