Joe Rogan Experience #1651 - Joe List

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music plays) Up and at 'em. Hello, Joe list.

   4. JLJoe List0:17

      Is this it?

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      This is it.

   6. JLJoe List0:19

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      This is it. So what happened? You got, you got accosted last night?

   8. JLJoe List0:21

      Oh, we're in it. This is just going.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:23

      Yeah.

   10. JLJoe List0:24

       Yeah. So, um, good to be here. Thanks for having me. (laughs)

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:27

       Good to have ya. Good to have ya.

   12. JLJoe List0:29

       Yeah. So, we're here at-

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:29

       Do you need booze?

   14. JLJoe List0:31

       No, I don't drink, but I appreciate the offer.

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:32

       Do you want heroin?

   16. JLJoe List0:33

       Heroin would go good, yeah. I'm still doing heroin.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       That's always like the hackiest joke. "I don't drink, but I wanna buy heroin."

   18. JLJoe List0:40

       (laughs)

   19. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       It's like you always go like, if someone says they don't drink, you go with something way more preposterous than drinking, like, "Oh, I'm sober."

   20. JLJoe List0:47

       Right. The other one is, uh, "Ah, quitter."

   21. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       Crack.

   22. JLJoe List0:50

       (laughs) Well, if people say quitter, that's like a big one to do.

   23. JRJoe Rogan0:53

       Right. Yeah, it's a big one.

   24. JLJoe List0:53

       But, um, but no, I appreciate the offer though. I mean, this cigar I might enjoy.

   25. JRJoe Rogan0:58

       You want a cigar?

   26. JLJoe List0:58

       Sure, maybe.

   27. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       I got cigars. Yeah.

   28. JLJoe List1:00

       I'm on an empty stomach, so it might make me more jittery than I already am.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       Well, give it a little, few minutes-

   30. JLJoe List1:03

       I'm a big cunt.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   I think the key…

   1. NANarrator15:00

      had up.

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:01

      I think the key would be if you had small legs, right? Like if you were a guy who's into rings, if you're doing the rings, well actually you gotta land on those legs. All right. What am I talking about?

   3. NANarrator15:12

      If you want no weight, I think is the right... You would be light, as light as possible.

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:15

      Right. But you have to have muscle-

   5. NANarrator15:17

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:17

      ... so you can't be too light.

   7. NANarrator15:18

      I mean, his arms are huge.

   8. JLJoe List15:21

      But there's gotta be... Like you ever see those like Cirque du Soleil guys? They do that shit-

   9. JRJoe Rogan15:25

      Oh my God.

   10. JLJoe List15:25

       ... where they like hold out from here. They're like horizontal acro- like just holding with their arms like this. It doesn't even make sense.

   11. JRJoe Rogan15:31

       If you ever want to feel like a bitch, go watch Cirque du Soleil. Those guys have preposterous strength.

   12. JLJoe List15:36

       Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

   13. JRJoe Rogan15:37

       Holding someone with one arm above your head, perfectly balanced.

   14. JLJoe List15:41

       Yeah. No, it's goofy.

   15. JRJoe Rogan15:42

       Yeah.

   16. JLJoe List15:43

       But not all that entertaining to me-

   17. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       (laughs) You don't like it?

   18. JLJoe List15:46

       ... I have to say. I mean, it's fine.

   19. JRJoe Rogan15:47

       Did you ever see Love, the Love one at uh, it's all Beatle songs at um, MGM? No. Uh, Mirage Theatre.

   20. JLJoe List15:55

       No, I never saw it.

   21. JRJoe Rogan15:56

       It's amazing.

   22. JLJoe List15:57

       Maybe I should go. I'm being an asshole, I've never actually seen it.

   23. JRJoe Rogan15:59

       It's easy to be an asshole, we're comics.

   24. JLJoe List16:01

       That's a good point, but uh some of them-

   25. JRJoe Rogan16:02

       (laughs) Because you gotta be funny.

   26. JLJoe List16:03

       Some of them hold, stand on their head too.

   27. JRJoe Rogan16:05

       Yeah.

   28. JLJoe List16:05

       Like just their head, no arms, which is also insane.

   29. JRJoe Rogan16:08

       That's not good for you.

   30. JLJoe List16:09

       No, I don't think-
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   You know what I…

   1. JLJoe List30:00

      Uh, edgy means so many different things to different people, but it's really fucking funny.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:03

      You know what I watched the other day? Superbad.

   3. JLJoe List30:06

      Yeah, that's a good one.

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:07

      Holy shit. You could never make that movie today. (laughs)

   5. JLJoe List30:11

      It's amazing how many things just a few years later.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:13

      Yeah.

   7. JLJoe List30:13

      I mean, the, the new Borat I thought was pretty funny.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      Oh, yeah. Yeah. That...... but that's a weird one, right? Like he figured out a loophole. You're kinda doing parody and you're doing this thing where you're freaking people out, like when she has her period at, at the dance off.

   9. JLJoe List30:29

      Right.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       You know, like, there's, there's things that he could get away with in that. It's a beautiful genre in that regard, right? You, you could do stuff in a kinda parody movie that you can't do in a regular movie.

   11. JLJoe List30:40

       Yes. But don't you find there's never been... Maybe I'm wrong. I, but, I feel like maybe I'm such a comedy cunt that I'm like... Don't you feel like there's not, never been a ton of great comedy films? I feel like there's, like, a few a decade.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:54

       Um, it's hard to do a movie. Like I watched Step Brother... Step Brothers the other night, it's another movie you could never do today. It's... I think it's hard to do those. Like some people, just... Like Judd Apatow is really good at making those kind of movies, or was really good. I don't know if he's made one of those kind of movies in a while. But those like really ridiculous, over-the-top movies, but the language and the subject matter and it's like, the stuff that they talk about and say to each other, I just don't think you can do that today. Or if you did do that, you would face a, a tremendous amount of criticism. Even though most people agree. Like if you try to watch Step Brothers today, fucking rock solid funny movie, man. Really funny.

   13. JLJoe List31:34

       Right.

   14. JRJoe Rogan31:34

       I was crying, like crying laughing.

   15. JLJoe List31:37

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:37

       There's some really funny moments in that movie where you're like, "I forgot how good this is." When he rubs his balls all over the dude's drum set.

   17. JLJoe List31:44

       Right.

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:44

       Like there's so-

   19. JLJoe List31:45

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:45

       ... many of these moments where you're like, "This is so crazy."

   21. JLJoe List31:48

       But it feels like now, people are getting more comedy from podcasts and standup than-

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:54

       Yeah.

   23. JLJoe List31:54

       ... movies, because it's making... Like, I watched the Oscars and like they didn't even make a joke. There was like zero jokes.

   24. JRJoe Rogan32:00

       Mm-hmm.

   25. JLJoe List32:00

       Because everybody's so afraid to be funny.

   26. JRJoe Rogan32:02

       Who hosted the Oscars this year?

   27. JLJoe List32:04

       I think there was no host. It was just like a, "We just bring people up." I mean, they weren't even like attempting to do jokes. The only jokes were the voiceover lady that says like, "Stay tuned. Coming up, Brad Pitt."

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:16

       Yeah.

   29. JLJoe List32:16

       "I swear to God, Brad Pitt's coming." That was like the only attempt at humor.

   30. JRJoe Rogan32:20

       Oh.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   That's what it says.…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      to put place to... put into place to eliminate the Osage people inheriting this wealth from oil profits on a one-by-one basis by any means possible. Officially, the court, the count of the murdered full-blood wealthy Osage reaches at least 20, but Grann suspects that hundreds more may have been killed because of their ties to oil." Wow. And this is the birth of the FBI, right? Is that-

   2. NANarrator45:26

      That's what it says.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:27

      ... part of this, this whole fucking s- crazy story? Goddamn.

   4. JLJoe List45:33

      Fun.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:35

      Heavy.

   6. JLJoe List45:37

      I assume Bill Hale will be-

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:39

      There he is.

   8. JLJoe List45:39

      ... DiCaprio, maybe?

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:40

      "William 'King' Hale or Bill Hale was an American cattleman and convicted murderer. Hale was a prominent victor, uh, prominent figure on the Osage Indian Reservation in what was then the Indian Territory, where he built the noted Hale Ranch and made a fortune raising cattle." Ugh. Those are dark days, man. You-

   10. JLJoe List46:03

       I'm e- I'm excited about the movie, though.

   11. JRJoe Rogan46:05

       Yeah.

   12. JLJoe List46:05

       Those'll be bright days ahead. (laughs) Di, DiCaprio as Bill Hale.

   13. JRJoe Rogan46:09

       (laughs)

   14. JLJoe List46:09

       I mean, that's exciting, right?

   15. JRJoe Rogan46:11

       Yeah.

   16. JLJoe List46:11

       See, there it is.

   17. JRJoe Rogan46:12

       Martin Scorsese's a bad motherfucker.

   18. JLJoe List46:15

       He's the best.

   19. JRJoe Rogan46:15

       Has he, has he made a bad movie? I didn't see The Irishman. Did you?

   20. JLJoe List46:18

       I loved The Irishman. Yeah, I didn't, I wasn't thrilled about it at first, but I love it.

   21. JRJoe Rogan46:21

       Some people were weirded out by the special effects.

   22. JLJoe List46:23

       Yeah, it didn't bother me at all. No, he's, like, the king. Um-

   23. JRJoe Rogan46:28

       Yeah.

   24. JLJoe List46:28

       Boy, Scorsese's worst movie is a tough one.

   25. JRJoe Rogan46:31

       What's the worst one?

   26. JLJoe List46:32

       I don't know. I'm trying to think. That's what I mean. I guess, uh, I don't know. Bringing Out the Dead?

   27. JRJoe Rogan46:37

       Hmm.

   28. JLJoe List46:38

       That Nick Cage movie from the '90s, maybe. Prob- Oh, New York, New York. That's like a musical that he made with De Niro in, like, the late '70s. I mean, it's probably-

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:46

       He made a musical?

   30. JLJoe List46:47

       Yeah.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:09:54

   You got a good…

   1. JLJoe List1:00:00

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      You got a good point.

   3. JLJoe List1:00:01

      ... a fellow comedian, but ...

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:02

      There's a lighter over there. Oh, you got one.

   5. JLJoe List1:00:03

      Yeah, I got one. Sorry.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      I don't mean to shame for real, just mean to shame for humor.

   7. JLJoe List1:00:08

      Um ...

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:09

      Humor only.

   9. JLJoe List1:00:10

      Yeah, I don't really feel ashamed either. Do I stink? Is this the worst episode you've ever done? I feel like I'm eating shit.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

       It's a great episode.

   11. JLJoe List1:00:15

       Oh, all right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

       What are you talking about, man? I'm enjoying the shit out of it, dude.

   13. JLJoe List1:00:17

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:17

       Listen, man.

   15. JLJoe List1:00:18

       I feel like, I'm like, "Oh, I suck."

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:00:19

       I know the fact that you've got self-esteem issues, but I think you're a fucking hilarious standup comedian. I think you're a great guy. I always enjoy talking to you and, uh, I'm happy to, to pump you up-

   17. JLJoe List1:00:30

       Oh, thank you.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:00:30

       ... and to get you over this hump that you have.

   19. JLJoe List1:00:32

       Thank you. What a funny time to be lighting a cigar as you're like, "No, I think you're great. Come over here."

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:00:35

       Like, "Yeah, I'm the shit, bro."... with my fat stogie.

   21. JLJoe List1:00:40

       I feel like I don't have a good cigar look. I feel like a guy, when I'm smoking, people are like, "Look at this fucking asshole pretending to be cool."

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

       Okay. Well, I look like, "Look at that fucking asshole smoking a cigar."

   23. JLJoe List1:00:52

       You do, yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:00:52

       Yeah, look it. I'm a, a bald, fat-headed fuck with a stupid cigar in my mouth. Me and Bobby Kelly should be lying about things, sitting next to each other smoking cigars, lying.

   25. JLJoe List1:01:01

       I love Bobby. Bobby's a big cigar guy.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:03

       I know.

   27. JLJoe List1:01:03

       He smokes-

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:03

       That's why I brought him up.

   29. JLJoe List1:01:04

       ... the most cigars.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:05

       'Cause we're both fat-headed, bald guys. (laughs)

Episode duration: 2:49:29