The Joe Rogan ExperienceJoe Rogan Experience #1712 - Bert Kreischer Part 1
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 1:36
Reuniting post-quarantine: specials, podcasts, and pandemic timing
Joe and Bert catch up after months apart and joke about how quarantine changed everything. Bert explains how the stay-at-home orders accidentally became perfect marketing for his special and why podcasting felt "essential" for sanity.
- 1:36 – 6:29
Bert’s drive-in comedy tour: the idea, execution, and why it worked
Joe credits Bert as an early innovator of drive-in comedy shows, while Bert walks through how the concept became a full-scale tour. They discuss logistics, audience experience, and how gratitude replaced the usual complaints.
- 6:29 – 9:17
‘Damn the Torpedoes’ award, a tech hiccup, and Bert’s Winston Churchill obsession
A brief audio issue interrupts the flow, then Bert dives into the story behind his Variety recognition and his admiration for Winston Churchill’s famously boozy routine. The segment becomes a comedic riff on historical quotes, alcohol, and celebration rituals.
- 9:17 – 13:39
Tour-bus BBQ culture: Dave Williamson, smokers, and traveling like kings
Bert explains how barbecue became the center of the drive-in tour’s culture, led by comic Dave Williamson. Joe and Bert nerd out on the gear, the food, and how this ‘summer bubble’ lifestyle fit Bert perfectly.
- 13:39 – 17:36
Two Bears Live goes off the rails: dominatrix visit and the ‘tether’ story
Bert recounts a notorious Two Bears Live episode where he and Tom Segura visit a dominatrix. The story escalates into shock devices, awkward boundaries, and a punchline photo moment with a fan-domme.
- 17:36 – 24:22
Austin vs. LA: population anxiety, ‘escape plans,’ and being prepared
Joe contrasts the calm of Texas with the stress and traffic of Los Angeles, arguing big cities generate ambient anxiety. The conversation shifts into preparedness—vehicles, resources, and why being ready doesn’t mean being unkind.
- 24:22 – 30:41
Pandemic social conflict: masking incidents, mental health, and ‘new normal’ fears
Bert tells a story about being filmed outdoors without a mask and snapping back, linking it to the psychological toll of prolonged restrictions. Joe argues the stressors aren’t ending soon and discusses confusion around boosters, variants, and inconsistent guidance.
- 30:41 – 35:58
Parenting chaos: Segura kids, toilet water, and accidental bad influence
Bert shares stories from staying with Tom and Christina—kids behaving like pranksters raised by elite comics. Toilet-water ‘hospitality’ and garbage-disposal ‘dog’ mythology become examples of how parenting and comedy collide.
- 35:58 – 39:51
Injuries and training: Tom’s accident, Bert’s tricep tear, and drunk bench-press lore
Joe and Bert discuss Tom Segura’s serious injury and the shock/trauma around it, then segue into Bert’s own tricep surgery. They reminisce about the infamous drunken bench-press session and debate why benching wrecks shoulders compared to kettlebells.
- 39:51 – 46:58
Mental toughness idols: Goggins clips, Jocko leadership, and ‘fuel’ from discipline
They watch and react to David Goggins pushing reps while yelling catchphrases, then broaden to Jocko Willink and other ‘hard’ personalities Bert admires. The point becomes how celebrating intense people can motivate you even if you’re not built like them.
- 46:58 – 1:14:57
Comedy careers and ‘paths’: early JRE days, The Machine story, and leaving Travel Channel
Bert reflects on how early podcast appearances and Joe’s insistence turned The Machine story into a defining brand—eventually a movie. They discuss career ‘paths,’ bitterness in the old comedy ecosystem, and how podcasting created a more collaborative scene.
- 1:14:57 – 1:50:32
Fight fandom deep dive: Ortega vs. Volkanovski, Diaz return, and bar-fight realities
Joe breaks down high-level jiu-jitsu fundamentals through Ortega’s title fight and the improbability of Volkanovski escaping submissions. The talk expands into Diaz/Lawler context, fighter longevity, and why sucker punches and bar fights can go catastrophically wrong.
- 1:50:32 – 2:02:09
Rogan’s COVID controversy and ‘protocol’ talk: ivermectin, antibodies, and media framing
They address the public backlash over Joe’s COVID treatment and the ‘horse de-wormer’ narrative. Joe emphasizes uncertainty, cites lab/in-vitro discussion, and argues the bigger story was rapid recovery via a multi-part protocol (including monoclonal antibodies).
- 2:02:09 – 2:43:19
From syphilis to hangover science: big wigs, ‘the clap,’ IV drips, cold exposure, and music riffs
The conversation veers into historical STDs, gonorrhea etymology, and then into modern wellness hacks like glutathione, NAC, IV vitamin drips, cryotherapy, and ice baths. They end by geeking out over music—Queen, Bob Seger—and the idea of Joey Diaz as a Spotify DJ.
