Joe Rogan Experience #1882 - Iliza Shlesinger

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (instrumental music)

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:12

      Hello, lads.

   5. ISIliza Shlesinger0:13

      This room and office have gotten more more Texas.

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Has it?

   7. ISIliza Shlesinger0:16

      Yes.

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:17

      How so?

   9. ISIliza Shlesinger0:17

      Well, I thought that was a jackalope, but it's not. It's probably-

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:20

       It's a mule deer.

   11. ISIliza Shlesinger0:21

       ... that you ran down yourself and strangled.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:23

       No, I shot it.

   13. ISIliza Shlesinger0:26

       I thought it was a jackalope, which is a very Texas thing. But it's, you know, you've got, you've got, like, the Mexican sugar skulls, and then you've got a lot of, I think ... Do you have a picture of Willie Nelson somewhere?

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:37

       No.

   15. ISIliza Shlesinger0:38

       Okay. (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       (laughs) He probably should.

   17. ISIliza Shlesinger0:40

       Yeah, you need to. I'm sure he owned this land at some point. You got, like, the ... It's that very desert, conspiracy, alien, rugged, it's like a convergence of a lot of Texas things.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:49

       Hm.

   19. ISIliza Shlesinger0:50

       And it's very Te- ... And, and from here, I get it. Even the Joe Rogan Experience sign looks like a movie theater gas station marquee.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:56

       Yeah, that was actually a gift by a friend of mine.

   21. ISIliza Shlesinger0:59

       I believe it.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       And so wh- when he gave it to me, I was like, "That would be perfect, like, right behind me."

   23. ISIliza Shlesinger1:03

       Right behind you.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:04

       Yeah.

   25. ISIliza Shlesinger1:04

       So people know-

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:05

       Where they're at.

   27. ISIliza Shlesinger1:05

       ... the people know what they're looking at.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:07

       Yeah.

   29. ISIliza Shlesinger1:07

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       Plus, it's cool.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   What the fuck is…

   1. ISIliza Shlesinger15:00

      would just get it worse. So I was just chewing on these tablets, I'm blanking on what they were called, and they had them all over Europe. So it was just a-

   2. JRJoe Rogan15:07

      What the fuck is in those tablets? Like, what's in a Tums?

   3. ISIliza Shlesinger15:09

      I'll tell you what, I don't know, but my baby was born with, like, a grown man's head of hair. (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan15:15

      Really?

   5. ISIliza Shlesinger15:15

      Like, a full head of hair. (laughs) And, like, already has, like, six teeth, and she's eight months old. (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan15:20

      Wow.

   7. ISIliza Shlesinger15:20

      So it was those European heartburn tablets. Extra calcium, baby.

   8. JRJoe Rogan15:25

      So, like, if you get heartburn in America, is it diet-related? Is it stress-related? Like, what, what gives you heartburn?

   9. ISIliza Shlesinger15:32

      You don't have heartburn, ever?

   10. JRJoe Rogan15:33

       No.

   11. ISIliza Shlesinger15:34

       I guess I don't have it as much now. I think a lot of things can. I think some, for some people, it is genetic.

   12. JRJoe Rogan15:39

       Like, what's it feel like?

   13. ISIliza Shlesinger15:40

       It feels like there's something burning coming up your throat. Or, like, around it.

   14. JRJoe Rogan15:45

       That happens all the, all the time with you?

   15. ISIliza Shlesinger15:46

       When I was pregnant, I got it a lot.

   16. JRJoe Rogan15:48

       Do you get it, like, before you were pregnant? Did you get it-

   17. ISIliza Shlesinger15:51

       There was a time where I got it a lot. And I can't tell you why, and I, I'm not positive why I don't get it as much now. Obviously, if you eat acidic foods, like tomato sauce, any sort of nightshade, like a eggplant maybe, that'll do it.

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:04

       Really?

   19. ISIliza Shlesinger16:05

       Heavy, greasy food, it can do it. Some people have it so bad it can lead to esophageal cancer if it is-

   20. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       Wow.

   21. ISIliza Shlesinger16:11

       ... a chronic thing.

   22. JRJoe Rogan16:11

       So the, the irritation is constant, and then it causes cancer?

   23. ISIliza Shlesinger16:15

       Uh, for some people, it can lead to that, like, that constant corrosion of that.

   24. JRJoe Rogan16:20

       Jesus Christ.

   25. ISIliza Shlesinger16:20

       I mean, I used to get it super bad, and I also, like, had an ENT on speed dial just 'cause I toured so much. So I think that's where I had, like, a textual relationship with my doctor. 'Cause if you have got a gig, you've got multiple shows, you lose your voice, and you need a steroid shot. So I guess that's what I mean when I talk about having something-

   26. JRJoe Rogan16:38

       Do you get those? Like, if you, you-

   27. ISIliza Shlesinger16:39

       I have.

   28. JRJoe Rogan16:40

       Really?

   29. ISIliza Shlesinger16:40

       Oh my God, I mean ...

   30. JRJoe Rogan16:42

       Like, a cortisone shot or something?
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Right. …

   1. ISIliza Shlesinger30:00

      different way that you kind of walk through the world, less impunity. And so, I think that's what bothered me about the Ch- Dixie Chicks things was like, she said something, and it wasn't at a time where people were exer- where people were exercising free thought like they were, 'cause the ubiquity of the internet hadn't taken over.

   2. JRJoe Rogan30:17

      Right.

   3. ISIliza Shlesinger30:18

      And so ...

   4. JRJoe Rogan30:19

      Well, it's also just a basic human decency thing. If someone expresses an opinion, the worst human beings in the world are the, gonna be the ones who express the hope that you get murdered or raped or kit- you know, like anything.

   5. ISIliza Shlesinger30:32

      For sure.

   6. JRJoe Rogan30:32

      I hope your family gets run over by a truck. Those, it's just the worst kind of human beings.

   7. ISIliza Shlesinger30:37

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan30:37

      And that is with any disagreement on anything. The, the rational, logical thing to do if someone says, "You know, I'm embarrassed that that's my president," is to say-... you know, why you disagree, or-

   9. ISIliza Shlesinger30:51

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan30:51

       ... why, you know, y- you think that's not a, a good thing to say. But to h- to hate the person-

   11. ISIliza Shlesinger30:56

       Right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan30:56

       ... and to wish harm on the person for expressing an opinion is just 'cause you're a fucking idiot. You- you, like-

   13. ISIliza Shlesinger31:02

       I-

   14. JRJoe Rogan31:02

       ... th- your-

   15. ISIliza Shlesinger31:03

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan31:03

       ... perspective sucks.

   17. ISIliza Shlesinger31:04

       It's, it's just so outta whack.

   18. JRJoe Rogan31:05

       Yes.

   19. ISIliza Shlesinger31:06

       It's so warped, you know. And it, I don't think cancel culture is any different. You know, you take someone, let's say you made a bad joke once, people would want, they want you to not, it's not about the apology, they want your career ruined. And so you look at someone like Harvey Weinstein, that man should be in jail, because what he did to so many women was horrific. One guy touches a woman in a, by accident, that, actually, I take that back, 'cause that never happens. One person says something, they say they're sorry, I think oftentimes the punishment outweighs the crime.

   20. JRJoe Rogan31:42

       Well, it does today, because there's sport in it. There's sport in trying to take someone down.

   21. ISIliza Shlesinger31:47

       Yes.

   22. JRJoe Rogan31:47

       There's sport in trying to ruin someone's life. And there's also a lot of people out there that don't have anything going on, and which is always the people that do things like this.

   23. ISIliza Shlesinger31:56

       Mm-hmm.

   24. JRJoe Rogan31:57

       You know, it's not someone who's got their life in order that, uh, starts some sort of a campaign to cancel someone for a bad joke. It's usually someone who's a fucking loser.

   25. ISIliza Shlesinger32:06

       Absolutely. And then what happens is, there's, like there's, it becomes this overcorrect. There are people who deserve to be canceled for doing terrible things over and over, but nobody ever thinks they did anything wrong. So then you get this other side that's like, "Oh, if a guy looks at a woman wrong, he's gonna get canceled." I used to think no one was getting canceled who didn't deserve it. But the more we move into this cancel culture, the more I start to ask, like if somebody does one thing wrong that really, you know, that hurts no one, or they write a joke, or they say something, or they, you know, hit on a woman, right? W- what, is it a pound of flesh that's owed? Is it your whole life?

   26. JRJoe Rogan32:41

       Yeah.

   27. ISIliza Shlesinger32:42

       Is it money, like what's owed?

   28. JRJoe Rogan32:43

       Well, it's like are you defined by your worst moment?

   29. ISIliza Shlesinger32:47

       I believe so.

   30. JRJoe Rogan32:47

       And does, does that negate ... Well, it depends on what your worst, worst moment is.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   Right. …

   1. ISIliza Shlesinger45:00

      requires being of that group to fully see the intention. You know, if you're Black, you're gonna look at a headline about a, about, uh, an altercation with police, you're gonna look at that wording differently than someone, than a white person that doesn't think about that.

   2. JRJoe Rogan45:14

      Right.

   3. ISIliza Shlesinger45:14

      Like, it's just, it colors your perspective and your ev- and your history in life, colors the way you read those. And so you're right, it is hard to find just, like, the facts.

   4. JRJoe Rogan45:23

      Yeah.

   5. ISIliza Shlesinger45:23

      Like, "Here's what happened, here is that. Decide for yourself."

   6. JRJoe Rogan45:26

      Well, it requires a lotta work and you can't do that about too many subjects because you just don't have the time.

   7. ISIliza Shlesinger45:31

      Right.

   8. JRJoe Rogan45:31

      If you're a person that has an eight-hour-day job and then you have a family and hobbies and friends and like... You don't have the time to be trying to figure out, like, why is fluoride in the water? Why is it like... Like, you gotta chase that shit down, it'll take you forever.

   9. ISIliza Shlesinger45:44

      But then, so here you go and now it's time to vote-

   10. JRJoe Rogan45:47

       Mm-hmm.

   11. ISIliza Shlesinger45:47

       ... and you got some guy that's like, "Hey, I wanna protect us and everything and do everything that's right."

   12. JRJoe Rogan45:52

       Yup.

   13. ISIliza Shlesinger45:52

       And all these bullshit things are baked into it that are infringements on our civil liberties and you're like, "Well, I didn't take the time, so this guy seems like me."

   14. JRJoe Rogan46:00

       Yeah.

   15. ISIliza Shlesinger46:00

       "Should be okay."

   16. JRJoe Rogan46:01

       Yeah. We look for someone who makes us feel good. Like, "Oh, I'll feel good voting for him. I don't like her, she's a cunt." And they just decide, "This is how I'm voting." You know?

   17. ISIliza Shlesinger46:10

       Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       Like, that's... I mean, that was a lot of people's perspectives on Hillary Clinton. I talked to a lot of people that hated-

   19. ISIliza Shlesinger46:14

       No, I'm pretty sure everyone loved her.

   20. JRJoe Rogan46:15

       (laughs)

   21. ISIliza Shlesinger46:15

       I'm pretty sure she, she won.

   22. JRJoe Rogan46:17

       The most loved.

   23. ISIliza Shlesinger46:18

       I, I was, I, I liked Elizabeth Warren.

   24. JRJoe Rogan46:21

       Why?

   25. ISIliza Shlesinger46:21

       She's cool.

   26. JRJoe Rogan46:22

       What?

   27. ISIliza Shlesinger46:22

       I just like... Same re- I liked her. I like, I like her tenacity.

   28. JRJoe Rogan46:26

       She's a con artist.

   29. ISIliza Shlesinger46:26

       Yeah, but, but... Okay, who isn't?

   30. JRJoe Rogan46:29

       Yeah. Bernie Sanders.
5. 1:00:00 – 1:06:45

   Oh, I've seen that…

   1. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:00

      doing something like that. He did, "No one fucks with a Biden." Oh, it was George Bush. There's this clip that went around recently where he, like, says something about the Iraq War and he goes, "Now watch me tee off." Or like, "Now watch this long shot." And he just turns around and hits a golf ball.

   2. JRJoe Rogan1:00:12

      Oh, I've seen that one. That's hilarious.

   3. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:13

      I kind of don't hate it. I think it's very funny.

   4. JRJoe Rogan1:00:15

      Yeah, it's kind of hilarious.

   5. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:16

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

      Well, what do you want the guy to do?

   7. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:17

      What do you want him to do?

   8. JRJoe Rogan1:00:18

      First of all, he's a human being and he's in the middle of-

   9. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:20

      Golfing.

   10. JRJoe Rogan1:00:21

       Golfing and in the most insanely pressure-filled life the world's ever known.

   11. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:26

       Yeah.

   12. JRJoe Rogan1:00:26

       If you're a president, that job is fucked, and you are under scrutiny 24/7, and you're just living this bizarre world where... In this bizarre world where you're in control of the economic future, the environmental future, the international treaties and laws and whether or not we invade countries and interventionist foreign policy. Like, the fucking chaos involved in being the president. You can't let the guy talk some shit, and now watch this drive. That's kind of funny.

   13. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:56

       But, I mean, that's the reason most people voted for him.

   14. JRJoe Rogan1:00:59

       Right.

   15. ISIliza Shlesinger1:00:59

       And so I just... I mean, it doesn't matter now.

   16. JRJoe Rogan1:01:01

       Because he's a regular guy.

   17. ISIliza Shlesinger1:01:02

       He's regular Joe you want to have a beer with.

   18. JRJoe Rogan1:01:04

       Hmm.

   19. ISIliza Shlesinger1:01:05

       And so-

   20. JRJoe Rogan1:01:06

       It's a weird thing to want from a leader, right?

   21. ISIliza Shlesinger1:01:08

       Well-

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       But I guess it's better than someone who you don't wanna have a beer with. Have you seen-

   23. ISIliza Shlesinger1:01:11

       I don't-

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:01:11

       ... some fucking creep who's just, like, just some weird lizard person who just doesn't make any sense to you? And-

   25. ISIliza Shlesinger1:01:17

       Do you wanna have a beer with Vladimir Putin?

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:01:20

       Um, I'd have some vodka with that guy.

   27. ISIliza Shlesinger1:01:21

       Would you have him on your podcast?

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:01:23

       Well, I don't speak Russian, so I don't think we would be able to communicate correctly. I don't know how well he speaks English. But it would be a fascinating conversation-

   29. ISIliza Shlesinger1:01:32

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:01:32

       ... to, uh, to, to hear his perspective.

Episode duration: 2:04:17