CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 0:59
Comedy Mothership hang: Bert’s killer night and “The Machine” chant
Joe and Bert recap the previous night at the Comedy Mothership, with Joe describing the surreal feeling of managing his own club while friends headline and open. Bert rides the high of the crowd energy and the stacked lineup, setting the tone for a hang-heavy conversation.
- •Joe’s first time in a “managerial” role at his club
- •How unusually stacked weeknight lineups have been in Austin
- •Bert’s post-show adrenaline and excitement
- •The show as a career highlight for Bert
- 0:59 – 2:43
Ron White surprise cameo and the pressure of following greatness
Bert tells the story of the crowd demanding “The Machine,” and how he negotiated it into a Ron White appearance. They break down why Ron’s “tater salad” storytelling is legendary and how a moment like that can make even a signature bit feel hard to follow.
- •Bert’s on-stage bargain: “I’ll do The Machine if Ron does tater salad”
- •Audience reaction to Ron White’s surprise
- •Why Ron is an all-time storyteller and respected “statesman”
- •Bert’s self-critique: how moments expose “holes in your act”
- 2:43 – 3:54
Leanne’s comedy tastes: Blue Collar Tour, Steve Harvey obsession, and Family Feud
The conversation shifts to Bert’s wife Leanne—her love for Blue Collar Comedy and her intense Steve Harvey fandom. Bert shares how that fandom spilled into real life when they were asked to do Family Feud tied to Bert’s movie promotion.
- •Leanne’s favorites: Blue Collar Comedy Tour and Steve Harvey
- •Anecdotes about Leanne sending Steve Harvey clips daily
- •Family Feud invitation connected to Bert’s movie rollout
- •Comedy nostalgia: why those big ensemble tours were a phenomenon
- 3:54 – 7:49
Fully Loaded tour roster and comedy “beef” culture (Ralph Barbosa/George Lopez)
Bert runs through the massive Fully Loaded lineup and how the tour format works with many comics rotating. Joe and Bert then dig into the Ralph Barbosa–George Lopez misunderstanding and Joe’s frustration with petty generational gatekeeping.
- •Fully Loaded’s rotating mega-lineup and how sets are structured
- •Joe discovers Ralph Barbosa and praises his laid-back style
- •Discussion of the George Lopez comments and alleged “beef”
- •Joe’s critique of older comics resenting young up-and-comers
- 7:49 – 9:26
Comedy tribes, moving cities, and the importance of the hang
Joe explains how comedians were anchored in LA by the Comedy Store “tribe,” and why moving away can be isolating. They touch on Theo Von’s move for mental health and how community shapes both life and craft.
- •The Comedy Store era: hanging, watching sets, talking shop
- •Theo Von in Nashville and why he’s considering moving to Austin
- •How “tribe” functions as emotional and creative support
- •Algorithms, social feeds, and what keeps showing up for each of them
- 9:26 – 12:12
Generational gaps: dating, comedy references, and why kids don’t share cultural touchstones
They riff on why big age-gap dating feels impossible and how references die fast with younger audiences. The talk widens into how the media landscape changed—radio/TV monoculture vs. infinite feeds—making shared references rarer across generations.
- •Why dating much younger people seems unrelatable
- •Old references bombing (Three Stooges vs. modern crowds)
- •Bert’s daughters not knowing his era’s music; Tool/Alice in Chains examples
- •Joe’s point: information overload and TikTok snippets reshape attention
- 12:12 – 16:53
Car timelines and modern speed: classic nostalgia to Tesla acceleration
Joe and Bert compare how “old” felt in the 1980s vs. now, using cars as the anchor. They move from muscle-car nostalgia and Bert’s dream ‘72 Cadillac to the modern reality of fast, tech-heavy vehicles—especially Teslas.
- •Why a 10–15 year span felt ‘classic’ in earlier decades
- •Bert’s obsession with a 1972 Cadillac convertible and promotional ideas
- •Modern car tech: traction control, warnings, suspension systems
- •Tesla Plaid as Joe’s fastest car; mind-bending 0–60 times
- 16:53 – 20:21
EV racing and the loss of engine sound: NASCAR/F1 as spectacle
Bert wonders why EV performance hasn’t translated into NASCAR/F1 formats the same way, and Joe argues the sound and tradition are core to the experience. They compare the eeriness of silent racing to sitcoms without laugh tracks.
- •Will NASCAR ever go electric—and would fans accept it?
- •Engine noise as part of the sport’s identity and tradition
- •F1 loudness vs. EV silence and why silence feels ‘creepy’
- •Cultural comparisons: laugh-track removal makes things feel dead
- 20:21 – 37:38
Bank collapses, panic psychology, and dictator obsessions
The mood pivots into current events with bank failures and fears of a broader collapse. Bert connects financial panic to history and dictatorship, recommending Netflix docs and sharing bizarre dictator anecdotes like Turkmenbashi’s rule changes.
- •SVB-era banking fears and the psychology of bank runs
- •Joe’s self-described financial ignorance and Alex Jones ‘end times’ inputs
- •Bert’s obsession with dictators/history pods and Turkmenbashi stories
- •How media narratives can amplify panic (and distrust of ‘don’t worry’ news)
- 37:38 – 40:20
Jordan Peterson’s viral retweet mishap and internet meme power
They unpack a bizarre viral clip shared by Jordan Peterson that was misrepresented online, then spiral into how the internet instantly turns everything into memes. Bert reflects on not being able to choose viral moments and how his clips skew toward laughter and chaos.
- •Jordan Peterson retweets a BDSM ‘male milking’ clip framed as CCP abuse
- •Clarifying it’s likely UK fetish content mislabeled online
- •Joe on the internet’s meme reflex and ‘eye bleach’ reactions
- •Bert on viral clips: you don’t choose what defines you online
- 40:20 – 48:44
BDSM, sex toys, and the anatomy of extreme kinks (butt plugs, machines, dominatrix stories)
A long explicit detour into kink culture—robots, machines, dominatrix sessions, and why powerful people may seek submission. Joe and Bert trade stories, including Bert’s TV-show bondage experience and discussions of consent, safe words, and the weirdness of performance sexuality.
- •Why some wealthy/CEO types seek domination and humiliation
- •Bert’s stories: butt plug attempts, ‘blowjob machine,’ dominatrix sessions
- •Safe words, boundaries, and how arousal can override judgment
- •Joe’s discomfort with certain kinks and fascination with the psychology
- 48:44 – 53:27
Gangbang documentaries to relationship boundaries: ‘Annabel Chong’ and discussing sexual history
The conversation escalates into porn record culture and a documentary about Annabel Chong, then pivots into how couples handle past sexual history. Joe argues there’s little value in interrogating a partner’s “number,” while Bert connects it to intimacy and insecurity.
- •Annabel Chong documentary and the ‘world’s biggest gangbang’ topic
- •Health/consent questions and why motivations are hard to understand
- •Joe’s view: asking partner counts is usually unhelpful and obsessive
- •Bert’s admission of limited partners and intimacy issues
- 53:27 – 1:00:47
Craft talk: building a new hour, arena timing, and why tours vs home life hit differently
They return to standup mechanics—Bert’s ‘firehose’ approach to new material, and Joe’s point that arenas require a different pacing than clubs. Bert details Fully Loaded’s structure, long multi-comic lineups, and how he engineers specials with obsessive preparation.
- •Club ‘cheat codes’ don’t work in theaters/arenas
- •Arena timing: jokes must travel to the back and return
- •Bert’s special-building process: dates, ticket goals, relentless stage time
- •Joe’s preference for routine and family stability vs. road chaos
- 1:00:47 – 1:07:25
Success, gratitude, and the discipline loop: health as the foundation
Bert and Joe get reflective about earning success, staying hungry, and how ‘phoning it in’ kills careers and relationships. Joe frames health and exercise as non-negotiable medicine, and Bert describes how fear (a numb hand) can kickstart his workout motivation.
- •Motivation shift: there’s no ‘destination,’ only better work
- •Peer accountability and staying sharp with a joke book
- •Exercise as mental health medicine; start small and build consistency
- •Bert’s punitive motivation vs. Joe’s systems-based approach
- 1:07:25 – 1:17:29
Aaron Rodgers stories, cigars & watches, and Leanne running the business
After a brief break, Bert tells how he connected with Aaron Rodgers and why Rodgers felt unusually genuine. They segue into cigars and watch collecting, then Bert praises Leanne as the real operator—building studios, managing logistics, and professionalizing their media business.
- •Aaron Rodgers as ‘normal’ despite fame; DM-to-green-room stories
- •Joe’s cigar humidor and getting into watch mechanics (automatic vs quartz)
- •Why dive bezels are useful backstage for timing sets
- •Leanne’s ‘gangster’ role: buying property, building studios, scaling operations
- 1:17:29 – 1:38:27
Beauty, aging, and ‘genetic royalty’—then a hard swerve into quicksand porn theory
They discuss how attractiveness changes with age, the privileges of beauty, and how it can distort self-perception. The conversation then veers into Bert’s theory that sexual kinks are ‘imprinted’ early—leading to an extended, surreal exploration of quicksand fetish content.
- •Beauty as a ‘short-lived tyranny’ and how attention can confuse people
- •Bert’s stories about former models and shifting social power
- •Joe on ‘genetic royalty’ and the extreme lengths people go to mimic it
- •Bert’s imprinting theory and the quicksand/sinker fetish rabbit hole
- 1:38:27 – 3:22:58
Gay acceptance, Florida fears, and internet negativity (comments, virtue signaling, distractions)
The tone shifts toward social issues and human nature: how environments shape views on sexuality, and how culture wars distract from real life priorities. They also cover why online comments can wreck mental health, and how fame changes your relationship to criticism and attention.
- •Joe’s childhood in San Francisco vs Gainesville: normalcy vs backlash to gay rights
- •Bert’s ‘pitched gay wrong’ childhood framing and evolving social openness
- •Florida as a ‘predator’ ecosystem (alligators, snakes, anxiety)
- •Why comments and virtue-signaling dynamics can hijack your mood and focus
