CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 1:46
Friendship, gratitude, and the ‘rising tide’ of comedy circles
Joe and Bert open with an emotional appreciation of each other and the idea that careers are built together. They talk about how surrounding yourself with great peers keeps you grounded and pushes everyone upward.
- 1:46 – 2:55
Comedy jealousy, old-school sabotage, and why it’s better now
They discuss how envy can turn into misplaced resentment toward more successful comics. Joe recalls stories of deliberate onstage/industry sabotage in earlier eras, while Bert says today’s scene feels more supportive—especially during his movie promotion.
- 2:55 – 4:17
Meeting Chappelle and idolizing comedy ‘jazz’ masters
Bert describes finally meeting Dave Chappelle and how it felt like encountering a “great white shark” level talent. He compares different comic styles (Chappelle, Attell, Hedberg, Patrice) to different kinds of music and performance energy.
- 4:17 – 5:24
Fame as a social game: working the room vs escaping it
They reflect on how celebrity spaces create weird incentives and behavior, where interaction can feel transactional. Bert admits he often leaves overwhelming rooms, while Joe notes how fame changes how open people can be with newcomers.
- 5:24 – 11:04
The Israel Adesanya story: joking about fighters and nearly starting a bar brawl
Bert tells a long story about joking he could beat Israel Adesanya (if both drank 12 beers), then meeting him in New Zealand. The night escalates into shirtless bravado, table-to-table challenges, and buying rounds—cementing Adesanya as a ‘ride-or-die’ friend.
- 11:04 – 14:08
‘Earn your Mondays’: celebrating wins, tour-benders, and promoting The Machine
Bert shares his wife’s phrase “earn your Mondays” as a philosophy of working hard, then genuinely celebrating success. He ties it to Adesanya’s victory tours and jokes about the chaos he’ll unleash if his movie performs well, then makes a direct pitch for audiences to see The Machine in theaters.
- 14:08 – 17:38
Awkward on-set intimacy: kissing scenes, honesty in promo, and actor myths
Bert explains how being ‘too honest’ complicates promotion, then tells a highly specific story about filming kissing scenes—body reactions included. They riff on the idea that ‘it’s just acting’ often conflicts with human biology and attraction.
- 17:38 – 21:20
Turning a signature bit into a movie and surviving press questions
Joe asks what it’s like to have a famous story become a film, and Bert describes the vulnerability of being publicly ‘defined’ by it. He talks about crowds chanting for “The Machine,” the Comedy Mothership moment with Ron White, and how interviews can distort the premise into accusations.
- 21:20 – 30:16
Premiere culture, not ‘playing it cool,’ and celebrity energy (Arnold vs Ed Norton)
Bert describes the premiere guest list and his desire to treat the red carpet like a party, not a staged hierarchy. He contrasts Arnold Schwarzenegger’s fan-friendly energy with Ed Norton’s reserved reactions, and Joe suggests Bert’s high-energy enthusiasm can overwhelm some people.
- 30:16 – 44:34
Action movies, John Wick fandom, and how culture changes what feels ‘corny’
They nerd out on John Wick’s choreography and why audiences root for a morally gray assassin—because of the puppy. The conversation expands into how older action scenes (and older comedies) look fake or unacceptable now, highlighting how quickly tastes and standards shift.
- 44:34 – 51:24
Old comedies under modern scrutiny: Ace Ventura, Sixteen Candles, and Revenge of the Nerds
They cite examples of classic comedies whose premises now read as overtly transphobic, racist, or sexually coercive. Joe and Bert discuss how normalizing these depictions shaped audiences, and how impossible it would be to recreate them today without backlash.
- 51:24 – 58:41
War, barbarism, and ceasefires: from trench warfare to wolves
The talk pivots to how close modern society is to historical brutality, focusing on World War I trench warfare and the 1914 Christmas Truce. After a break, Joe adds a story about Russians and Germans pausing hostilities to deal with deadly wolves—then returning to war.
- 58:41 – 1:01:43
Modern mysteries: viral wolf videos, UFO balloons, and SpaceX reentry ‘alien’ moments
They debate whether a dramatic ‘wolves running through a city’ clip is real or composited, then shift to UFO footage near Roswell that might be a balloon or monitoring device. Bert recounts seeing SpaceX rockets reenter over LA and genuinely thinking it was an alien invasion.
- 1:01:43 – 1:15:02
Drugs, stimulants, and nicotine debates—ending with a cigar break
They riff on nicotine’s perceived cognitive benefits (via Huberman), decriminalization, and the insanity of selling hard drugs openly. The conversation veers into meth/Adderall/cocaine stories and gambling culture, then transitions into enjoying cigars together and talking wrappers and ring gauges.
- 1:15:02 – 2:54:00
Joey Diaz love, loyalty, therapy, and the roots of insecurity
Over cigars, they celebrate Joey Diaz’s unique presence and why certain places fit certain personalities (Jersey vs LA). Bert opens up about therapy, oversharing, and feeling ‘not good enough,’ linking it to upbringing and his relationship with his dad, while Joe shares his bullying origin story and martial arts path.
