CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 1:38
Brian plugs tour dates & why comics benefit from podcasts
Brian Simpson opens by plugging upcoming club dates and his podcast. He and Joe talk about how a one-person podcast helps comedians develop ideas, energy, and material outside of standup.
- •Brian’s Denver (Comedy Works) and West Nyack (Levity Live) dates
- •His show/podcast: “BS with Brian Simpson”
- •Podcasts as a creative outlet separate from paid standup
- •One-person rants as a “premise factory” (Burr, Tim Dillon)
- 1:38 – 3:46
Titanic sub crisis: countdown, fear, and what it’s like to die trapped
The conversation jumps to the missing Titan submersible near the Titanic wreck. They discuss the oxygen clock, the psychological horror of confinement, and speculate on what the banging sounds might mean.
- •Oxygen/time-left estimates and the terrifying implications
- •Empathy vs ridicule of risk-taking billionaires
- •Speculation about survival decisions and ‘sacrifice’ scenarios
- •Uncertainty about “banging” and what rescuers can actually detect
- 3:46 – 7:20
Warnings ignored: whistleblowers, unsafe viewport ratings, and hubris
Joe and Brian pull up reporting about OceanGate being warned years earlier. They read details about the viewport not being certified for Titanic depth and a culture of firing critics instead of fixing problems.
- •2018 whistleblower lawsuit and alleged retaliation
- •Viewport certified to ~1,300m vs Titanic at ~4,000m
- •Letter from dozens of industry experts warning of catastrophe
- •“Money and hubris” as a repeating theme
- 7:20 – 19:23
How much money is enough? Freedom, dominance, and billionaire psychology
From the sub story they pivot to wealth, motivation, and what people really want from money. They contrast ‘enough’ with the drive to dominate, and discuss passive income as freedom.
- •‘Enough money’ threshold and diminishing returns on happiness
- •Freedom vs consumer ‘stuff’ as the real fantasy of being rich
- •Bezos as an example of post-CEO ‘balling’ and status pursuits
- •Rich people and the compulsion to keep winning
- 19:23 – 26:17
Anti-aging extremes: blood transfusions, biohacking, and too much data
They dive into longevity culture, including billionaire biohacking routines. The discussion turns comedic and skeptical—tracking everything from vitamins to sleep metrics to nocturnal erections.
- •Blood transfusions from family members and intensive protocols
- •Vegan longevity debates and nutrient-density claims
- •Micro-needling/stem-cell face treatments
- •Wearables, recovery scores, and data obsession
- 26:17 – 29:51
Training discipline, mood regulation, and the value of respect
Joe explains why physical exertion is essential for his mental state and decision-making. They connect that to respect in real life versus online disrespect, plus how public ‘clapbacks’ escalate conflicts.
- •Exercise as mental-health management and emotional regulation
- •Respect as a practical survival tool in tense situations
- •Internet culture normalizing rude speech without consequences
- •Anecdotes about fights, ego, and ‘saving face’
- 29:51 – 31:12
Fighting culture: Mike Perry, Slap League, and spectacle entertainment
The talk shifts to combat sports personalities and why certain violence-adjacent formats thrive online. They riff on Slap League’s clip-friendly nature and how characters are part of the appeal.
- •Mike Perry as a ‘truly doesn’t give a fuck’ fighter archetype
- •Slap League as highlight-driven entertainment
- •Comedic ‘backhand champion’ and pimp-cape riffs
- •Why spectacle content spreads so well on social media
- 31:12 – 33:48
TV obsession corner: HBO’s batting average and 'Succession' ending breakdown
They praise HBO’s track record and analyze Succession’s finale. Brian discusses character motivations, especially Shiv’s decision and the idea of not going beyond victory.
- •HBO as a consistent premium storytelling brand
- •Succession’s ‘no heroes’ realism and moral emptiness
- •Brian’s take on Shiv, Kendall, and the final power dynamics
- •How greed and status hunger persist even in ‘loss’
- 33:48 – 38:16
Addictions and compulsion: gambling, alcohol, and chasing ‘action’
Joe compares gambling addiction to drug addiction, citing pool halls and side betting. They discuss alcoholism, genetics, and how addiction persists even when the consequences are obvious.
- •‘Action’ as the dopamine target for gamblers
- •Pool hall culture: players vs side-bet whales
- •Alcoholism’s roots: pain, genetics, avoidance
- •Nicotine vapes and the psychology of habit loops
- 38:16 – 44:09
Comedy scene talk: Mothership shows, Bottom of the Barrel, and fly-gun lore
They switch to Austin comedy life—Bottom of the Barrel, crowd suggestions, and bit generation. Brian shares a vivid Iraq deployment story explaining his hatred of flies and love of Bug-A-Salt guns.
- •Bottom of the Barrel as a premise generator and repeatable fun
- •Audience suggestions, prizes, and show variety
- •Iraq deployment: overwhelming flies, MREs, and moisture-seeking bugs
- •Bug-A-Salt gear talk (rifle vs ‘Shredder’ pistol)
- 44:09 – 1:00:08
Texas wildlife spiral: bugs, snakes, cats, and pet health fears
From flies they expand to Texas nature—fire ants, coral snakes, coyotes, and outdoor cats. They discuss pet care, litter boxes, mercury in fish, and Joe’s story about losing a puppy to distemper.
- •Coral snakes and why unseen danger is worst
- •Outdoor cats, abandonment behavior, and automated pet gear
- •Mercury poisoning risk in cats via tuna/fish
- •Distemper vs parvo and the emotional toll of sick pets
- 1:00:08 – 1:10:00
Corruption & media skepticism: BlackRock sting video, donations, and ‘two tiers’ of justice
They watch undercover footage suggesting politicians are easy to buy and discuss why such stories don’t get mainstream coverage. The thread continues into pardons, Hunter Biden comparisons, and elite impunity.
- •James O’Keefe-style undercover tactics and ‘date’ confessions
- •Campaign finance influence and plausible deniability
- •Pardons (Kodak Black) vs people who don’t get pardoned (Assange/Snowden)
- •Perceived double standards in prosecutions and consequences
- 1:10:00 – 1:18:32
Gender/identity tangent: Chelsea Manning, autogynephilia, and testosterone effects
The conversation veers into gender identity topics and how institutions frame them. They discuss Chelsea Manning’s transition in custody, the concept of autogynephilia, and how testosterone changes behavior and drive.
- •Chelsea Manning timeline and confusion around custody transition
- •Autogynephilia definition and why it’s controversial now
- •Friends transitioning and reporting behavioral changes on testosterone
- •Hormones, aggression, libido, and social interpretation
- 1:18:32 – 1:30:08
Comics in Austin: stage time, door-guy pipeline, and fair pay for performers
They return to comedy infrastructure: why Austin provides stage time, how careers can change quickly, and the importance of open mics. Joe argues clubs are ‘a box with a mic’ without comedians and criticizes exploitative pay splits.
- •How comics benefit from proximity, reps, and community
- •Door-guy development model and open mic nights as essential
- •Fair compensation vs exploitative showcase economics
- •Power imbalance in entertainment contracts and saying ‘no’ with security
- 1:30:08 – 1:44:09
The “Rassia” tequila test & the nuclear smelling-salts incident
A light, physical-comedy interlude: they try a harsh spirit and then open extremely strong smelling salts. The segment becomes a chaotic reaction loop—burning sinuses, tears, and laughter about regret and dosage distance.
- •Tasting a notoriously harsh liquor and reacting in disgust
- •Smelling salts potency differences and batch inconsistency
- •Why lifters use them (CNS jolt) vs why it feels insane
- •Jokes about memes/remixes and ‘don’t go that close’ lessons
- 1:44:09 – 2:19:55
Drugs & altered reality: poppers, bath salts, salvia, and ‘other lives’ trips
They unpack substances that blur reality, from amyl nitrate to synthetic cathinones and salvia’s uniquely convincing hallucinations. Joe recounts stories of salvia trips that feel like months-long alternate lives and they drift into consciousness speculation.
- •Amyl nitrate as vasodilator and the ‘VCR cleaner’ loophole
- •Bath salts: synthetic cathinones and sensational news stories
- •Salvia’s intensity: no awareness you’re ‘on drugs’ during the trip
- •Philosophical turn: dreams, parallel selves, and shared consciousness
- 2:19:55 – 2:47:43
Thrill-seeking vs survival: sharks, whales, and the universe trying to kill us
They watch and describe multiple terrifying ocean clips—kayakers swallowed by whales, shark attacks, and a graphic Egypt incident. The talk ties back to why people take extreme risks and how the sea magnifies human vulnerability.
- •Kayak/whale incident and how accidents happen during feeding frenzies
- •Tiger shark ramming a kayak and why it misidentifies targets
- •Graphic Egypt shark attack discussion and comparing deaths to the sub scenario
- •Thesis: ‘leaving land’ is giving up your main human advantage
- 2:47:43 – 2:54:45
Back to Titan: no Plan B, recovery logistics, and why the design seems doomed
They revisit the sub disaster with more detail: remote control, lack of transponder/tether, and rescue constraints. Brian argues an implosion is most likely and notes how absurd it is that passengers mostly watched screens anyway.
- •Remote operation risks and losing comms near the bottom
- •Challenges of locating and lifting a sub at Titanic depth
- •Theory: catastrophic failure/implosion likely occurred quickly
- •Critique: could’ve used drones—risk was for bragging rights
- 2:54:45 – 3:13:58
Tech, danger, and modern life: drones, preppers, rabies, hospitals, and wrapping up
The final stretch jumps through modern anxieties: fast drones that look like ‘Tic Tacs,’ prepping stigma, fungal fears, and rabies as a nightmare disease. They end on healthcare realities, family emergencies, and Brian’s plugs including a veteran psychedelics fundraiser.
- •Drone speed capabilities and misidentifying objects as UFOs
- •Preppers vs extremists and preparedness after societal shocks
- •Rabies cases from minor bat contact and urgency of treatment
- •US healthcare quality gaps and choosing hospitals in emergencies
- •Outro plugs: dates, August special taping, Veterans Hearts Project fundraiser
