Joe Rogan Experience #2006 - Brian Simpson

Narrator 0:00 (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music)

Joe Rogan 0:13 ... Simpson, what's happening?

Brian Simpson 0:14 Hell yeah, what's up, Joe?

Joe Rogan 0:15 Good to see you, bro.

Brian Simpson 0:16 Glad to be back. Can I plug my dates real quick-

Joe Rogan 0:18 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 0:18 ... before I forget? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be in, uh, Denver at Comedy Works on July 13th through the 15th. And Levity Live in West Nyack, New York, on July 20th through the 22nd. Get those tickets on the, uh, briansimpsoncomedy.com.

Joe Rogan 0:35 Nice.

Brian Simpson 0:36 Listen to the podcast, BS with Brian Simpson, it's pretty good.

Joe Rogan 0:38 Yeah, it's very good.

Brian Simpson 0:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:40 You enjoy doing it?

Brian Simpson 0:41 I love it, man. I love it. I feel like you, you need something outside of comedy, like when you start doing it for money.

Joe Rogan 0:46 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 0:47 You know, you have to do something else so you don't, so you're not just doing com... You know?

Joe Rogan 0:50 Yeah. It also helps your brain just 'cause you're talking about stuff and thinking about stuff.

Brian Simpson 0:54 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:55 'Cause the subjects.

Brian Simpson 0:56 Yeah. And I'm, and I'm getting better at it too. Just, just having to find your own energy every week...

Joe Rogan 1:01 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:01 ... or whatever. I like, I like, I just like having something to do.

Joe Rogan 1:03 Yeah. No, it's great. It's fun. It's a... I think the best tool for comics is the one-person podcast, which you, you do too.

Brian Simpson 1:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:11 It's like where one person gets to rant about things.

Brian Simpson 1:14 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:14 Like you have guests on, but sometimes you just rant about things.

Brian Simpson 1:17 Right, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:17 I think that is like where, where Burr comes up with a lot of his material, that's where Tim Dillon comes up with a lot of his material.

Brian Simpson 1:24 Oh, yeah. I-

Joe Rogan 1:24 It's like his extra superpower.

Brian Simpson 1:26 And a lot of mine from regre- like I'll say something j- wha- 'cause what I do is I have my, my producer finds these articles and I don't re- I've never read them.

Joe Rogan 1:33 Oh.

Brian Simpson 1:33 And he just... And he gives me the gist of it and I just react. And sometimes I'm like, "Oh, why did you say that?" You know?

Joe Rogan 1:38 Right.

Brian Simpson 1:38 When I heard about the submarine people, I was...

Joe Rogan 1:40 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:40 The first thing I said was, "What kind of stupid..." You know?

Joe Rogan 1:42 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:43 But I forget like I do, I st- I got empathy for the people still.

Joe Rogan 1:46 I do too.

Brian Simpson 1:46 You know, they're dumb as fuck, but being trapped in a box is...

Joe Rogan 1:51 (sighs)

Brian Simpson 1:51 That's one of the worst ways to go.

Joe Rogan 1:52 And they, they haven't found them yet, but they're hearing banging now.

Brian Simpson 1:56 Yeah. And the, and, and...

Joe Rogan 1:57 What does that mean? I mean, how... They have 30 hours, less than 30 hours now just to, before they run out of air.

Brian Simpson 2:05 Yeah, I think they're dead. I think they're already gone.

Joe Rogan 2:08 Well, if there, if there's banging, if someone's banging...

Narrator 2:11 It's... As of Tuesday afternoon, they had 40 to 41 hours, that was 24 hours ago now or so...

Joe Rogan 2:16 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Narrator 2:17 ... as of recording.

Joe Rogan 2:18 So they got like 20 hours.

Brian Simpson 2:19 Yeah. Like everybody that's still alive is, is, is really sleepy right now.

Joe Rogan 2:24 Jesus Christ.

Narrator 2:25 5:00 or 6:00 AM Thursday Eastern Standard Time is when they run out of breathable air.

Joe Rogan 2:30 Oh, my God. Tomorrow morning. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 2:35 Well, that's if, that's if they're all still alive.

Narrator 2:37 True.

Brian Simpson 2:38 Right?

Joe Rogan 2:38 Right.

Brian Simpson 2:39 I think somebody on there might have made a heroic sacrifice or something.

Joe Rogan 2:43 Ah- what does that do for anybody?

Brian Simpson 2:45 It, it leaves the air for one person to breathe.

Joe Rogan 2:47 Do you think someone killed someone so they have more air?

Brian Simpson 2:49 I think somebody might have killed themselves so everybody else would have more air.

Joe Rogan 2:52 How are you gonna kill yourself in front of any- everybody on a little, tiny submarine...

Brian Simpson 2:55 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 2:55 ... smaller than this room?

Brian Simpson 2:56 Just have somebody choke you out.

Joe Rogan 2:59 (laughs) You know how much energy it would take to choke someone out?

Brian Simpson 3:02 Yeah, 'cause remember one-

Joe Rogan 3:02 You'd rather just sit still.

Brian Simpson 3:04 One of them down there with they son.

Joe Rogan 3:06 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 3:06 Can you imagine being on there with your child? You're like... "Baby, look, Daddy showed you how to do... I showed you how to do the rear naked."

Joe Rogan 3:14 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 3:14 "Finish me off, live for the rest of us."

Joe Rogan 3:17 Oh, my God. I don't think that anybody's gonna do that. I think they're just gonna assume they're all gonna die together.

Brian Simpson 3:23 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 3:23 Yeah. If they die together, I mean... I don't know, I have no idea like what ability they have to pull that thing up.

Brian Simpson 3:32 Yeah. Oh, can you imagine what's on their cellphones?

Joe Rogan 3:36 (sighs)

Brian Simpson 3:36 Like now, like these hours now.

Joe Rogan 3:37 Whoa.

Brian Simpson 3:37 Like they still had hope yesterday probably.

Joe Rogan 3:39 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 3:40 But like right now, can you imagine?

Joe Rogan 3:42 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 3:43 Or being the guy that forgot your charger.

Joe Rogan 3:46 Well, the crazy thing is, Jamie pointed this out yesterday and it's, um, there's lawsuits apparently. Did you point it out? Were you the one who told... No, you didn't tell me. Someone told me in the green room.

Brian Simpson 3:55 I did.

Joe Rogan 3:55 It was you?

Brian Simpson 3:56 About the, the window?

Joe Rogan 3:57 Yes.

Brian Simpson 3:58 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:58 Oh, that was you. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 4:00 Yeah, the guy-

Joe Rogan 4:00 So tell people.

Brian Simpson 4:01 Yeah. The, the some- someone yesterday on... I read that they, uh... There was a lawsuit in 2018, a whistleblower was trying to report that the, the, uh, the window, the glass wasn't, wasn't, wasn't rated for that depth.

Joe Rogan 4:16 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 4:16 And he... And they fired him apparently.

Joe Rogan 4:19 I'll send it to you, Jamie. Yeah, y- you sent it to me on Twitter. Oh, you found it? Okay. "OceanGate was warned of potential for catastrophic problems with Titanic miss- TiTa- Titanic mission." What's it say there? Do, do, do, do, do. Uh, "January 2018, the company's engineering team was about to hand over the craft, named Titan, to the crew it would be responsible for ensuring the safety of its future passengers, but the experts inside and outside the company were beginning to sound alarms. OceanGate's Director of Marine Operations, Da- David Lochridge, started working on a report around the time, according to court documents, ultimately producing a scathing document to which he said the craft needed more testing, and stressed the potential dangers of the passengers of the Titan as the submersible reached extreme depths. Two months later, OceanGate faced similar dire calls from more than three dozen people, industry leaders, deep sea explorers and oceanographers who warned in a letter to its Chief Executive, Stockton Rush, that the company's experimental approach and its decision to forego a traditional assessment could lead to potentially catastrophic problems with the Titan- Titanic mission." So apparently they've done this a 100 times?

Brian Simpson 5:29 Yeah. That's not enough. Yeah, they've done it a 100 times.

Joe Rogan 5:32 Imagine being number 99...

Brian Simpson 5:34 Oh.

Joe Rogan 5:34 And you hear about this.

Brian Simpson 5:36 Yeah. You know, I just... And I read too this morning, some reporter was on one, he was on the boat last year and it got lost for like five hours, the s- the submersible.

Joe Rogan 5:45 Oh.

Brian Simpson 5:46 And he didn't say anything.

Joe Rogan 5:47 Oh, my God. It says, "Mr. Lochridge reported learning that the viewport let, that lets the passengers see outside the craft was only certified to work at depths of up to 1,300 meters. That is far less than would be necessary for trips to the Titanic, which is nearly 4,000 meters below the ocean surface."

Narrator 6:07 ... the paying passengers would not be aware and would not be informed of this experimental design, lawyers for Mr. Lochridge wrote in court firings, filings. The meeting led OceanGate to fire Mr. Lochridge. Wow. According to court documents filed by both sides, OceanGate has said in court records that he was not an engineer, that he refused to accept information from the company's engineering team, and that the acoustic monitoring of the hull strength was better than the kind of testing that Mr. Lochridge felt necessary. The company said in its lawsuit that it appeared Mr. Lochridge was trying to be fired. Mr. Lochridge responded by alleging wrongful termination, legal battle ended in a settlement later in 2018. So, it seems like it was him, but two dozen other people? A separate warning came from-

Joe Rogan 6:54 38 experts.

Narrator 6:55 ... yeah, received the same year from 38 experts in the submersible craft industry. All of them were members of the Manned Underwater Vehicles Committee of the Marine Technology Society, a 60-year-old industry group that promotes studies and teaches the public about ocean technology. The experts wrote in their letter to Mr. Rush that they had unanimous concern about the way the Titan was developed and about the planned missions to the Titanic rush- wreckage.

Joe Rogan 7:19 Oh-ho.

Narrator 7:20 Oh, look at this shit. The letter said that OceanGate's marketing of the Titan had been at minimum misleading because it claimed that the submersible would meet or exceed the safety standards of a risk assessment company known as DNV, even though the company had no plans to have the craft formally certified by the agency. Oh, God. People are gross. (blowing) Money, it's always money. It's always money, man.

Joe Rogan 7:40 It's always money.

Narrator 7:41 E- yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:42 It's m- money and hubris.

Narrator 7:44 Man, it's weird because for some people there's no such thing as enough money. Yeah. It does, and I don't, I don't understand that. I don't understand it either. Like, if I, if I go the rest of my life making the money I'm making right now, I'll be great. Yeah. Yay! I got enough money. And, look, it was like, I, I, I got enough money where I would not, I don't make decisions based on that. Like- You know what Bryan Callen told me once? It's a great quote. He said, "Once you have enough money to go to a restaurant and not worry about what food costs," he goes, "everything else is bullshit." Right. Yeah. Yeah, just about there. You just go, go to dinner and not think about it, not worry. Yeah. What was that old saying? It was like $70,000, once you pass $70,000, it d- more money doesn't make you happy. Right. I mean, that was years ago. It's probably like 85 now. Right. But it was like, once you pass that, once you up around there- Yeah. ... where you can just buy s- you know, a- Yeah. ... good meal and not think about it.

Joe Rogan 8:27 Yeah.

Narrator 8:27 Yeah, it's like y- I, I don't make decisions with that's the number one factor-

Joe Rogan 8:31 Right.

Narrator 8:31 ... where it's like, oh, well, you could make, you could make $10,000 and, and, and, and do, do a good job, or you could make $100,000 and betray your two closest friends. It's like, I-

Joe Rogan 8:42 Nah.

Narrator 8:42 ... think I'll just take the 10.

Joe Rogan 8:44 (laughs) Yeah.

Narrator 8:44 I don't need $90,000, you know what I mean? But they don't think about the guilt that would come along with the betrayal, or- Oh, it's like, ima- imagine bringing your son down there. (inhales deeply) Imagine the arrogance.

Joe Rogan 8:54 Oh. Well, that guy, I think the guy with his son, is that the same guy that flew in Jeff Bezos' rocket ship?

Narrator 9:01 Um, I'm not sure. I, yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:02 This dude's a risk-taker.

Narrator 9:03 I think that's the guy that owns the whole...

Joe Rogan 9:05 Oh, God.

Narrator 9:05 I think he owns the ship, not the submersible, not the submersible company.

Joe Rogan 9:09 Oh.

Narrator 9:09 But... Dude, that is so terrifying. But didn't James Cameron do that? Yeah, d- James Cameron went down there at, fo- before he filmed Titanic. Yeah. But I don't think he-

Joe Rogan 9:20 I think he went solo.

Narrator 9:21 But he didn't take all, but he was in control of the craft. I don't think somebody-

Joe Rogan 9:24 Yeah.

Narrator 9:24 ... was controlling it from somewhere else.

Joe Rogan 9:26 See if you have footage of that. James Cameron's a wild motherfucker.

Narrator 9:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 9:30 He's a wild dude. I mean, just to, to be him and decide to do that because you're filming the Titanic. Oh, no, I think that was- It's different.

Narrator 9:39 ... he was filming Avatar, right?

Joe Rogan 9:40 This, he-

Narrator 9:40 No.

Joe Rogan 9:40 ... was filming a documentary.

Narrator 9:42 On the Titanic.

Joe Rogan 9:43 On, yeah. On like, (clears throat) how, what it's like to even do, Deep Sea Challenge is what it was called, 3D trailer.

Narrator 9:50 Mm. Yeah, this is, wow.

Joe Rogan 9:51 And they went, I think they went to the bottom of the ocean, which is even farther.

Narrator 9:55 Ugh, how far is that?

Joe Rogan 9:55 I, it's probably, there was another video I was pulling up. Have you seen that like, the, it's an animation of how deep the ocean gets?

Narrator 10:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 10:03 And it just shows you how, compared to a bunch of stuff on land, how it, and then like how far the minimum depths are and then the maximum depths. So he went to the maximum, like Mariana Trench, it's, it's more than twice-

Narrator 10:13 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 10:13 ... as far down as the Titanic is.

Narrator 10:16 Oh my God. And now, don't they think there's a deeper plot, a deeper spot in there?

Joe Rogan 10:18 Yeah, I think they found some other spots they think are deeper.

Narrator 10:21 Challen- Challenger Deep?

Joe Rogan 10:22 And it...

Narrator 10:23 What, why am I thinking about that?

Joe Rogan 10:24 They might've done this live I think, too. I don't remember.

Narrator 10:26 Oh my God. No, Challenger Deep is a area in the Mariana Trench. I mean, but I, just imagine just relying on all that equipment to continue to work properly.

Joe Rogan 10:35 But it also looks like they, maybe not, whereas this current submarine didn't have any sort of tethering to it.

Narrator 10:43 His did?

Joe Rogan 10:43 He might have, but I don't know actually. I'm trying to see.

Narrator 10:46 Yeah, but you, you know what's funny, you know what was, you know what was wild to me, though? Is...

Joe Rogan 10:50 Maybe not.

Narrator 10:50 You know how the, you know how one of the conspiracy about the moon landing is that they really got, um- Stanley Kubrick. ... Stanley Kubrick to film it?

Joe Rogan 10:57 Yeah.

Narrator 10:57 It's like, we have a g- we have a fucking director here claiming that he went to the bottom-

Joe Rogan 11:02 (laughs)

Narrator 11:02 ... of the ocean, and no one suspects that he made it all up. Yeah, right? Yeah, how we know he fucking really went down there? Right. Yeah. Then, no kidding. (laughs) How many people were there? Right. He-

Joe Rogan 11:13 Who's the witnesses? All we got is footage of him inside that thing moving around.

Narrator 11:16 Yeah, and that's from the '90s. He prob- it's, it was probably cheaper to fake it.

Joe Rogan 11:19 No, that's new. That's pretty new.

Narrator 11:21 Is it?

Joe Rogan 11:21 I think it's like 2010 or '11. Yeah, it's less than 10 years old.

Narrator 11:24 Oh, so he didn't do that for the Titanic?

Joe Rogan 11:25 No.

Narrator 11:25 Oh, okay. No, no, I think he did it for Avatar. 'Cause you know Avatar II is, a lot of it is water. Yeah, yeah, that's like- Apparently it's like one of the most expensive movies to film ever. That was a great movie.

Joe Rogan 11:34 They just pushed it-

Narrator 11:35 Fuck yeah, it was great.

Joe Rogan 11:35 ... till, the n- the next three got pushed back. The last one's coming out now in 2031.

Narrator 11:40 Jesus Christ.

Joe Rogan 11:41 And the main girl's like, "I'll be like 50 when I, I st- I shot this." (laughs) "The first one in like I was 20 something."

Narrator 11:47 Wow. Yeah, but you, all you're doing is making faces. Duh.

Joe Rogan 11:50 (laughs)

Narrator 11:51 Yeah, you'll be all right. But if you get like in a role like that, where you have to come back again and again and again, like that's a little bit of a velvet prison for a lot of those guys. Yeah. And I imagine they wanna, they wanna do other stuff. Yeah. But it's also, you want that security. Well, I think that's why they, is that why they killed off Batman, I mean, uh, Iron Man, in The Avengers? Was Robert Downey Jr. like, "Enough already"?

Joe Rogan 12:14 Nah.

Brian Simpson 12:16 ... th- they have a giant, giant, giant story plan that's going on that's way bigger. It's, uh, they're on phase five now or something wild with that.

Narrator 12:24 They're allowed to do weird shit now because the multiverse.

Brian Simpson 12:27 Yeah.

Narrator 12:27 They can just go back in time-

Brian Simpson 12:28 Well, they-

Narrator 12:28 ... and reset things.

Brian Simpson 12:29 That happened in DC, brought in the multiverse too. That's why-

Narrator 12:31 They've earned-

Brian Simpson 12:32 ... Michael Keaton came back.

Narrator 12:32 ... they've earned so much, um, leeway from the fans.

Brian Simpson 12:36 Yeah.

Narrator 12:37 It, a Marvel movie just has to be better than okay, and people are like-

Brian Simpson 12:41 Right.

Narrator 12:42 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 12:42 Yeah.

Narrator 12:43 Yeah. 'Cause those, 'cause those, the end, the e- 'cause we know at the end what's gonna hap- 'Cause the, the people in, like, the, the, in the comics, they go ha- way harder than they do in the-

Brian Simpson 12:51 Oh, yeah.

Narrator 12:51 Like, like if HBO had bought the rights to Marvel-

Brian Simpson 12:54 Right.

Narrator 12:54 ... it would be, there'd be some dark shit.

Brian Simpson 12:56 Yeah.

Narrator 12:57 Yeah. In the, in the comics, so you wa- do you watch, did you watch any of the movies, the Marvel movies?

Brian Simpson 13:00 Yeah, I've watched a few of them.

Narrator 13:02 So in the-

Brian Simpson 13:02 Most of them.

Narrator 13:03 ... in the, in the movies, Thanos' motivation is he wants balance in the universe. So he wants to find the Infinity Stone so he can snap away half the people, so it's more resources for the people left.

Brian Simpson 13:13 Right.

Narrator 13:13 That's a stupid fucking reason.

Brian Simpson 13:15 Ugh.

Narrator 13:15 In the comics, what happened is from, from, from a little kid, Thanos was like ... He was a freak, like a mutant. He looked like that, and people treated him like shit. And his only friend was Mistress Death. She would visit him. Like, death was her realm. Like, there was really ... She was in charge of all dead shit.

Brian Simpson 13:30 Oh, wow.

Narrator 13:31 And something happened, and she fucking hates him. Like, he's banned from her realm, right? He's in love with her. She- he's banned from her realm. That's why he can't die.

Brian Simpson 13:41 Oh, my God.

Narrator 13:41 And he's trying to impress her by sending her more souls. So he wants the Infinity-

Brian Simpson 13:46 (gasps)

Narrator 13:46 ... Gauntlet so he can snap it, snap it away. So the-

Brian Simpson 13:48 Oh, my God.

Narrator 13:48 ... the ho- the movie ends a com- The movie would have ended in a completely different way. He, he ended up having, like ... He created a platform for her s- and a throne so she could watch when he snapped away the rest of the universe. And all of the fucking Avengers and everybody showed up to fight this motherfucker. It was a epic battle. And, and one of them happened to his daughter, you know, the robot chick-

Brian Simpson 14:08 Yes.

Narrator 14:08 ... that betrayed him.

Brian Simpson 14:09 Yeah.

Narrator 14:09 He, he ... Her punishment was like sh- she was just stuck standing still. I forget. He did something horrible to her, but she was just stuck like a slave standing still. And all, every superhero in the universe is fighting this j- just Thanos, trying to get that gauntlet off before he, before he snaps, you know.

Brian Simpson 14:24 Oh.

Narrator 14:24 And the, the robot bitch who he, who he ... The last person he saw coming, she like used her last bit of willpower and snapped out of it for a second and snatched the glove off.

Brian Simpson 14:35 Ah.

Narrator 14:36 The comics w- the ro- the comic books went hard, man.

Brian Simpson 14:39 I wonder why they took that plot line away 'cause that's a great plot line.

Narrator 14:42 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 14:42 He's in love with death.

Narrator 14:43 Bro, there's, it's this dude on, um, on YouTube called Comics Explained.

Brian Simpson 14:48 Mm.

Narrator 14:48 He, he, he's the biggest, like, th- this mo- Like, I didn't read any of that. He does these videos where he just walks you through the whole story.

Brian Simpson 14:56 Ah.

Narrator 14:56 You know, some of them four or five, six hours long, he goes through the whole issues and tells you the whole shit, so you don't have to ... And I was like, "I'll watch this motherfucker all the time." He walked me through that whole shit. I was like, "Oh, this was way better than the movies."

Brian Simpson 15:06 Oh, that's interesting.

Narrator 15:07 Yeah. But I think it would have just taken them longer 'cause they, you, they gotta make, they have to make the movies for people that don't read the comics.

Brian Simpson 15:14 Right.

Narrator 15:15 So they can't always do everything that's in there, but ...

Brian Simpson 15:18 That sounds better though.

Narrator 15:19 That soun- it's way better, dude.

Brian Simpson 15:20 How much they have in the ... It's ... We're halfway through four now, I think, on here, of everything they've made, in order of timeline.

Narrator 15:26 And then they have all the stuff that's coming out?

Brian Simpson 15:28 There's a bunch of stuff on the way too. Yeah, there's two new giant Avengers war movies coming.

Narrator 15:32 Yeah. Nah, we in w- no, we in phase five now. We p-

Brian Simpson 15:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're here. We're like-

Narrator 15:36 Isn't that crazy though?

Brian Simpson 15:37 Here it sh-

Narrator 15:38 Oh, Blade?

Brian Simpson 15:39 There's a Blade coming out later this year. Dar- Daredevil I've seen. X-Men, yeah, there's X-Men supposedly supposed to be coming out at some point. They're bringing them back into the fold.

Narrator 15:47 Wow. Oh, Captain America: New World Order?

Brian Simpson 15:49 They just got the rights to Hulk back, so I'm expecting another Hulk movie to get announced soon.

Narrator 15:53 But Mark Ruffalo's not gonna be the Hulk again, right?

Brian Simpson 15:55 I don't know.

Narrator 15:56 I think there's gonna be a new Hulk.

Brian Simpson 15:57 Depends if they ... I don't ... I don't know. (laughs)

Narrator 15:59 I think Mark Ruffalo's bill- busy being a political activist or something.

Brian Simpson 16:02 They could take the rights to his face-

Narrator 16:04 For real?

Brian Simpson 16:04 ... and put somebody else in there, and now, you know.

Narrator 16:05 Oh, God.

Brian Simpson 16:06 With deep faked Hulk.

Narrator 16:07 He's out there like, "Hulk recycle."

Brian Simpson 16:10 (laughs)

Narrator 16:12 (laughs) They can kind of do anything with CGI now.

Brian Simpson 16:14 Yeah.

Narrator 16:14 Bruce Willis gave up all the rights. He sold all the rights to his voice 'cause, you know, he has, I think it's called aphasia.

Brian Simpson 16:20 Mm-hmm.

Narrator 16:21 He's got a serious neurological condition. Something's really wrong with him. And so he gave up the rights to AI using deep fakes of him for ads and for a bunch of other things. He sold that.

Brian Simpson 16:32 Wow. For how much?

Narrator 16:33 I don't know. It's a good question.

Brian Simpson 16:35 I mean, that's worth it if you can't talk no more.

Narrator 16:37 Well, if you know that it's over and you're never gonna work again-

Brian Simpson 16:39 Yeah, way to get the-

Narrator 16:40 ... you're-

Brian Simpson 16:40 ... get the bag.

Narrator 16:41 You're just trying to stay alive. I mean-

Brian Simpson 16:44 Yeah.

Narrator 16:44 ... he's just trying to stay alive. He's ... It's bad. Uh, there was a video of him with his family. I think they were celebrating a birthday, and he was just ... You could see him struggling.

Brian Simpson 16:54 Hmm.

Narrator 16:55 It's-

Brian Simpson 16:55 How-

Narrator 16:55 ... it's so sad, man.

Brian Simpson 16:56 Just for clarity, I just looked up an article. Uh, there's a report that he actually did not sell his rights.

Narrator 17:02 Oh.

Brian Simpson 17:03 But they did ... It's c- very confusing.

Narrator 17:06 It says, "Actor denies selling rights to AI company for digital twin." But there was also articles that said he did it.

Brian Simpson 17:12 Right. No, that's 100%. I'm looking up. It says that he did it, but there's one that's counter to that that says he did not.

Narrator 17:17 Hmm.

Brian Simpson 17:17 And then, like, the quote is something like, "He can't ... The wording about rights is wrong. Bruce couldn't sell anyone rights. They are his by def-"

Narrator 17:25 "Anyone any rights, they're his by default."

Brian Simpson 17:28 Whoa.

Narrator 17:28 "The deep fake companies use artificial intelligence to create realistic simulations of famous figures. A deep fake of Willis appeared in an advert for a Russian telecoms company last year. In August 2021, Megafon launched an ad campaign with Bruce Willis and requested us to create a digital twin of the star. Upon their request, our engineers processed a dataset composed of 34,000 images of Bruce Willis and made his digital twin for this series of Megafon ads." Oh, interesting.

Brian Simpson 17:55 Looks like James Earl Jones did something similar.

Narrator 17:59 Mm-hmm. Well, I mean-

Brian Simpson 18:01 Hmm.

Narrator 18:01 ... it makes sense. If you're, especially if you're an old dude and you're done. You don't want to act anymore.

Brian Simpson 18:07 Yeah. Just-

Narrator 18:07 Just sell your rights.

Brian Simpson 18:08 And, I mean, James Earl Jones is gonna be making that Star Wars money till he die.

Narrator 18:11 Right.

Brian Simpson 18:11 Yeah.

Narrator 18:11 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 18:11 And way after, if they can just keep using his voice.

Narrator 18:14 Just for his voice. Isn't that wild?

Brian Simpson 18:15 Man, I'm, uh, I'm trying to get that badge.

Narrator 18:17 Oh.

Brian Simpson 18:18 (laughs) (exhales deeply) Yeah, you, you, you... The money you make when you don't have to do anything is, you know, that's freedom right there.

Joe Rogan 18:28 Yes.

Brian Simpson 18:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:29 Yeah. Just passive income.

Brian Simpson 18:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:31 Just keeps floating in for you.

Brian Simpson 18:33 As I was just, I was just talking with somebody else about this. It's like, I, I think there's people that, that dream of being rich, but what they really d- what they really want, the fantasy is really that they can do whatever they want.

Joe Rogan 18:44 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 18:44 Right? They want, they really dreaming of freedom.

Joe Rogan 18:47 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 18:47 But because we, you know, because we're s- we are in a capitalist society, freedom is being rich. Right?

Joe Rogan 18:51 It, they dream of stuff, too, though. They dream of stuff.

Brian Simpson 18:54 What do you mean?

Joe Rogan 18:55 Stuff. Like, if you don't have stuff, you want stuff.

Brian Simpson 18:58 Oh, right. Well, that's what I mean. Being able to buy what you wanna buy-

Joe Rogan 18:59 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 18:59 ... being able to do what you wanna do. But then there's, like, the Bezos of the world, where it's like, to, for them, it's about dominating.

Joe Rogan 19:06 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 19:06 It's not about the amount of money.

Joe Rogan 19:08 But he seems to have... Like, he resigned from the company, right? He's not the CEO anymore.

Brian Simpson 19:13 Did he?

Joe Rogan 19:13 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 19:13 Oh.

Joe Rogan 19:13 And I think he's just balling. That's what I think he's doing. He's just banging that super hot girlfriend of his-

Brian Simpson 19:20 (laughs) Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 19:20 ... and traveling around the world in the biggest yacht I've ever, that no one's ever built.

Brian Simpson 19:23 He's doing all that anti-aging shit.

Joe Rogan 19:25 Yeah. He's going ham.

Brian Simpson 19:26 Who, who, who's that one billionaire that I was telling you about? He, like, he takes-

Joe Rogan 19:29 Oh, yeah.

Brian Simpson 19:29 ... blood transfusions from his son.

Joe Rogan 19:30 Yes. That guy's weird.

Brian Simpson 19:32 Man, but he does look younger.

Joe Rogan 19:34 He looks great. But, I mean, um, you probably could look that... There's guys that look that good that are his age that just work out all the time.

Brian Simpson 19:40 What, right, but that's what... I don't know, 'cause he's doing so many things, that I don't-

Joe Rogan 19:45 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 19:45 ... I, I don't know what thing, what is he going overboard with. Like, he takes, like, 40 vitamins in the morning-

Joe Rogan 19:50 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 19:50 ... and 40 more in the afternoon.

Joe Rogan 19:51 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 19:52 He alwa- he, he always sleeps at the same exact time no matter what.

Joe Rogan 19:56 (sighs) That seems tedious.

Brian Simpson 19:58 I know. It's like, I'd rather just die sooner.

Joe Rogan 20:00 You know, like, I was telling you I had a headache last night 'cause of, you know, all the shit that's going on in the club. Nonsense. There's nothing bad. But, so, uh, then I had a hard time going to sleep, and then I got up in the morning, and I was foggy as shit, got in the cold plunge. Like, I know I'm not at optimum today.

Brian Simpson 20:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:17 I know it. But, you know, that's life.

Brian Simpson 20:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:20 That's life.

Brian Simpson 20:21 That is life.

Joe Rogan 20:21 Suck it up, bitch. (laughs) Like, is that him and his son? So, he looks to me like a normal, fit 40-year-old guy.

Brian Simpson 20:29 No, show, but show a picture of him from, like, five years ago.

Joe Rogan 20:32 Well, did he look bad?

Brian Simpson 20:33 It, he just, didn't-

Joe Rogan 20:34 He looks better?

Brian Simpson 20:34 He, he looks worse. Yeah. He looks better now.

Joe Rogan 20:37 Well, maybe back then he was working, too.

Brian Simpson 20:39 Oh, see, that's him right there. See with the, uh...

Narrator 20:41 Uh, uh...

Joe Rogan 20:42 Is he working still?

Narrator 20:44 Where, where you see?

Brian Simpson 20:44 Yeah, go, go back.

Narrator 20:45 Is that not him?

Joe Rogan 20:47 Oh, that's him?

Brian Simpson 20:47 Right, that's him right there.

Joe Rogan 20:49 Oh. Well, also it looks like he lost weight, he got fitter.

Brian Simpson 20:52 Yeah, he went goth.

Joe Rogan 20:53 Which makes you healthier. He looks like more, like, a superhero than goth. Like, what is that strap on his shoulder? What is he doing? Is that a bulletproof vest? Is that guy a superhero?

Brian Simpson 21:02 Maybe-

Joe Rogan 21:02 What is that, what is that outfit? Imagine wearing that outfit. If you showed up at the, the mothership with that outfit-

Brian Simpson 21:07 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:07 ... I would be like, "Bryan Simpson, what the fuck are you smoking?"

Brian Simpson 21:10 Tony, Tony might rock that.

Joe Rogan 21:11 Tony would rock that.

Brian Simpson 21:12 Like, cowboy, cowboy hat.

Joe Rogan 21:13 With a big belt buckle. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 21:15 Yeah. No, but I, but I bet you, I bet you it's probably something that, like, lets a certain frequency of light through his nipples that-

Joe Rogan 21:20 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 21:20 ... keeps, helps him retain vitamin D or some shit.

Joe Rogan 21:23 Right, right. What is that stupid-

Brian Simpson 21:25 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:25 ... shirt, man? That shirt's ridiculous. Yeah, he's got them Zero Shoes on.

Brian Simpson 21:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:30 Yeah. It's, oh, he's doing all the face stuff, too. See, that's another thing that they can do, they do this face thing. Oh, Jesus. What happened to his face?

Narrator 21:37 I think he's just got cold-

Joe Rogan 21:39 Oh, that's a different guy.

Narrator 21:40 Oh? See, now I'm trying to remember.

Joe Rogan 21:41 He said, "I tried."

Narrator 21:42 He tried it. Okay.

Joe Rogan 21:42 Yeah. But what is he doing right there? It says 45-year-old CEO to the right of that. Yeah. So, what was he doing? Okay, so-

Narrator 21:50 It's what Wayne Cummings does.

Joe Rogan 21:51 ... there's... Yeah. There's a thing that they do where they, like, put these, like, micro needles all over your face, and then they rub stem cells in your face. I know a few people that have had that done.

Brian Simpson 22:00 But now imagine the son doing this from 18. You know?

Joe Rogan 22:04 (sighs) Yeah.

Brian Simpson 22:05 That, that, now, that might be a whole different thing.

Joe Rogan 22:08 Yeah. So, he eats 2,000 calories a day?

Brian Simpson 22:10 But he's vegan.

Joe Rogan 22:11 Yeah, that's not good.

Brian Simpson 22:13 That's a lot of vegetables.

Joe Rogan 22:14 That's interesting. But that's interesting that he would choose that route, the, the vegan route-

Brian Simpson 22:18 Vegan?

Joe Rogan 22:18 ... for longevity.

Brian Simpson 22:19 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 22:19 'Cause there's a, a l- lot of, you know, nutritional pitfalls in that.

Brian Simpson 22:24 Can you not make up for those?

Joe Rogan 22:25 You can.

Brian Simpson 22:25 'Cause, 'cause like he said, he takes like 50, 60 vitamins.

Joe Rogan 22:27 Yeah, it's possible. It's possible to do. But the most nutrient-dense foods are red meat. That's the most nutrient-dense foods. There's just a lot of weird propaganda that-

Brian Simpson 22:38 He might switch it up?

Joe Rogan 22:39 Well, who knows? I mean, he doesn't look that good there, though. Show that, that thing again. But it's like, for a lot of people on vegan diets, it's hard to put mass on. I mean, he looks okay. But he looks like a normal 45-year-old guy that's fit.

Brian Simpson 22:54 And I think that's his dad, too. See, see that picture right there in the middle?

Joe Rogan 22:56 Oh.

Brian Simpson 22:57 H- him, his, him, his son, and his dad all did the transfusion thing.

Joe Rogan 23:00 I'm not sure I like that picture.

Narrator 23:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:03 Him in the middle looking like, "Why were you looking at me like that?" Imagine if you go over to someone's house, and the son and the dad and the, the little kid, they're all posed like this. Like, come on. What, what are you doing?

Brian Simpson 23:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:14 If I went over to your house-

Brian Simpson 23:15 It's like a Calvin Klein ad.

Joe Rogan 23:15 ... and you were there with, uh, you know, two other dudes-

Brian Simpson 23:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 23:18 ... I'd kinda be like, "Hey, man, I'm gonna leave."

Brian Simpson 23:20 We were embracing?

Joe Rogan 23:21 Yeah. I mean, I want you guys to be happy, but-

Narrator 23:22 The one on the right is not as bad as the other one.

Joe Rogan 23:24 No, the one on the right is normal.

Brian Simpson 23:25 I'm like, "Joe, this is how we-"

Joe Rogan 23:25 That's like, "Hey."

Brian Simpson 23:26 "... this is how we stay younger, Joe. We... It's cuddle, cuddle puddles."

Joe Rogan 23:28 It looks like his dad's not listening.

Brian Simpson 23:30 Intergenerational cuddle puddles.

Joe Rogan 23:32 Dad... (laughs) that, that, that belt buckle is fucking straining. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 23:35 Yeah, well, he's definitely holding... He's definitely holding it in his stomach. I'm, yeah.

Joe Rogan 23:38 Yeah. On top of that, like, that guy's not listening. Isn't it funny? Like, the son is on this crazy health kick, the dad looks like he's eating meatball subs and-

Brian Simpson 23:47 Oh, yeah. Well, I think he-

Joe Rogan 23:48 ... drinking beer at night.

Brian Simpson 23:48 ... I think he was estranged from the dad and the son until, like, recently.

Joe Rogan 23:51 Oh.

Brian Simpson 23:52 And they got back together for the transfusion.

Joe Rogan 23:55 Oh, man. That is so hard for people. I've me- met people that, like, their, their kid won't talk to them. Like, oh my God.

Brian Simpson 24:01 Yeah, that's wild.

Joe Rogan 24:02 What happened?

Brian Simpson 24:03 And then, uh, I mean, the opposite, like, last night at the club, it was two, there were two people that, uh, where it's like it was just a dad out with his, with his son. Well, one was out with his son and one was out with his daughter.

Joe Rogan 24:11 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 24:11 I was like, "That's awesome."

Joe Rogan 24:12 Beautiful.

Brian Simpson 24:12 If you're, if you're 50 and your 25-year-old daughter wants to still hang out with you-

Joe Rogan 24:15 Yes.

Brian Simpson 24:15 ... you're doing pretty good.

Joe Rogan 24:16 Yes.

Brian Simpson 24:17 You know?

Joe Rogan 24:17 No, it's beautiful. Hanging out with your kids is awesome. I don't understand... I mean, I, you know, all sorts of circumstances. Divorce, parents turn one kid against the other parent.

Brian Simpson 24:27 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:28 That's horrible. I've seen that shit happen. That's, that's, like, you, when you date manipulative, vindictive people-

Brian Simpson 24:34 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 24:34 ... and they do it to other people and you don't think they're ever gonna do it to you.... guess what?

Brian Simpson 24:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 24:39 Guess what? You're going to be other people if they don't like you anymore.

Brian Simpson 24:41 But you know what, though? I, um...

Joe Rogan 24:43 While sleeping, Johnson is hooked up to a machine that counts the number of nighttime erections. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 24:48 (laughs) Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 24:50 This guy's going too hard with data.

Brian Simpson 24:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 24:52 He also takes daily measurements of his weight, body mass index, body fat, blood glucose levels, and heart rate variations. I mean, okay.

Brian Simpson 25:01 Or maybe he has a lucky number. He wakes up, "13, yes!"

Joe Rogan 25:04 13 boners. How many boners do you think you get in a night?

Brian Simpson 25:06 I don't know. What's a, uh, what's a good number?

Joe Rogan 25:07 I didn't know you got them at night.

Brian Simpson 25:09 I get them every now and then. I go to pee and I gotta, like, do the lean. But what, why do you need to measure? Is there a n- a normal amount? Mm.

Joe Rogan 25:15 Right. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 25:17 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 25:17 I don't want to know that much data.

Brian Simpson 25:19 I don't want to be worried about stuff like that.

Joe Rogan 25:20 There's so much data.

Brian Simpson 25:22 Now they gonna come out with, like, a, um, like, a apple cock ring that'll measure for you?

Joe Rogan 25:26 Dude. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 25:27 Five.

Joe Rogan 25:28 Five nocturnal erections during an eight-hour sleep cycle, typically, with each erection lasting about 25 minutes. That's about one erection every 90 minutes.

Brian Simpson 25:36 Oh, man.

Joe Rogan 25:36 Interesting. But that's weird. Like, why is he measuring it? I guess to just find out what his testosterone levels are, but wouldn't you be able to do that with blood levels?

Brian Simpson 25:44 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 25:46 Yeah, man, you can, you can go crazy. Like, when I had that Whoop thing, like, if I looked at it, I mean, I still have it, I just haven't been wearing it. But if you look at it and it says you only got like 25% recovery, but you feel good, you're like, "What the fuck is going on?"

Brian Simpson 25:59 Uh-huh.

Joe Rogan 25:59 "How come I feel good?" You know?

Brian Simpson 26:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:01 But that was actually a sign that a lot of people had COVID, 'cause they would have an eight-hour sleep and they'd wake up and it'd be like 4% recovery. Like, "What the fuck is going on?"

Brian Simpson 26:08 I was like, "The way you were breathing and..."

Joe Rogan 26:09 Your body's struggling. Your body's not-

Brian Simpson 26:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 26:11 ... doing so good, you know?

Brian Simpson 26:13 Yeah. I don't know, I don't... I'm sometimes... I, I, I still do the health tracking, but sometimes I wonder.

Joe Rogan 26:17 I just listen to my body for the most part. I mean, I do measure my heart rate and I do wear a heart rate strap when I do some of my workouts. But, uh, what... Like yesterday, my, my... There's a couple people in my family that are sick right now. Not bad, but enough, you know, that it's like they're, they're sick. And, uh, I was working out yesterday, I was like, "Boy, do I feel like a bitch." Like, I just wanted to stop. But I felt strong enough to do it. But it was like this, these... So I'm riding this line where I don't want to overstress myself and like tax my immune system, but I don't want to pussy out of my workout. So I got to feel it along the way while I'm doing it. It's like I'm going through a dark room and I'm just feeling the walls by hand.

Brian Simpson 26:57 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 26:58 You know?

Brian Simpson 26:58 Yeah. See, that's the... You got more discipline than me. I would just, I would just give in.

Joe Rogan 27:03 Well, I have a particular type of mental illness. Like I, like I need to do physical things.

Brian Simpson 27:07 Hard things.

Joe Rogan 27:08 If I don't, I, my brain doesn't work that good. It just, it's like it's too confused. Just it, it's riddled with extra energy and data that it doesn't need. It, it concentrates on stupid shit.

Brian Simpson 27:20 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:20 It's not good for me. For me, I, I need exertion. But when I have exertion, I'm calm and friendly and nice and easygoing, and, and I'm compassionate, and I, I think about other people, like their problems before I react to things. But when I'm like amped up, like if I haven't worked out for three days, like I'm not good at decisions.

Brian Simpson 27:38 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:38 You know? 'Cause then I'm... You know, you want to say things like, "Shut the fuck up."

Brian Simpson 27:41 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:42 But when you say, "Shut the fuck up," nobody hears shut the fuck up. They, they, they get mad at you. Like they don't think, "Oh, I should shut the fuck up." Like it's the most ineffective thing to say. Unless you're really thinking about violence.

Brian Simpson 27:53 Right.

Joe Rogan 27:53 And you're letting someone know, "If you don't shut the fuck up, I'm going to put you in the hospital."

Brian Simpson 27:57 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 27:57 If you... Unless it's that...

Brian Simpson 27:59 Yeah. We were talking about-

Joe Rogan 28:00 Unless you, it's a warning.

Brian Simpson 28:01 We were talking about respect the other day, how like that shit will, that shit will save your life in a whole bunch of situ... Like, you know?

Joe Rogan 28:05 Fuck, yeah. Respect people.

Brian Simpson 28:07 If all else fails, just be respectful.

Joe Rogan 28:08 Always.

Brian Simpson 28:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:09 Always be respectful.

Brian Simpson 28:10 But it, it's wild now because nowadays it's like, it just seems like a lot of people are comfortable being disrespectful.

Joe Rogan 28:17 It's internet.

Brian Simpson 28:17 It... Yeah. It's, it's kind of crazy, man.

Joe Rogan 28:20 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 28:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:20 It's that internet culture is that it like... That way of communicating becomes a part of your system.

Brian Simpson 28:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:26 You're used to communicating like that. There's so many people that are so crazy on Twitter. The way they talk to people. Like I couldn't imagine talking to someone like that to their face, just 'cause it's so mean.

Brian Simpson 28:36 Well, it's like-

Joe Rogan 28:37 It's so shitty.

Brian Simpson 28:37 It's fighting words to some people.

Joe Rogan 28:38 It's also such a pussy move 'cause you know the person's not there. You're saying mean shit to them to hurt their feelings, knowing that they're not there, and then you keep checking for replies like a sick fuck.

Brian Simpson 28:50 Yeah. Because, well, 'cause on top of it, it's like whatever everyone sees this.

Joe Rogan 28:54 Yes.

Brian Simpson 28:54 So it's more-

Joe Rogan 28:55 It's public.

Brian Simpson 28:55 ... it's more important for me to get in a good clap back than it is-

Joe Rogan 28:59 Oh, yeah.

Brian Simpson 28:59 ... right?

Joe Rogan 28:59 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 28:59 It's like I rem-... I had a, I had an old gym, uh... One of my gym teachers used to like, whenever it got like physical in physical education class, like somebody wanted to fight or whatever, he would like... He would let us fight, but he would take you in the, he would take you in the closet where we put the mats, and he'd be like, "Well y'all can fight, y'all can fight in here in front of me. But like you just can't fight in front of everyone."

Joe Rogan 29:18 Oh, wow.

Brian Simpson 29:18 And 90% of the time people would go in that closet and make up.

Joe Rogan 29:21 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 29:21 Yeah, yeah. 'Cause it's like, it's the bi-... It's the, the wanting to save face that makes you not be able to like let shit go.

Joe Rogan 29:28 It's also when you get in that closet, you realize it's real.

Brian Simpson 29:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:30 You start looking for a way out of this.

Brian Simpson 29:32 If I don't get anything out of it, no one sees it.

Joe Rogan 29:34 Yeah, yeah.

Brian Simpson 29:34 So now how do I benefit from, from beating you up? We, we gonna both just leave here and tell people what happened?

Joe Rogan 29:38 Right.

Brian Simpson 29:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:39 No one's going to see it, and you know, it's... Also you're about to get your face punched in.

Brian Simpson 29:44 Yeah. But that shit will backfire though too, 'cause-

Joe Rogan 29:46 Always.

Brian Simpson 29:46 ... 'cause some people really want to scrap, but you take them in there and it's been-

Joe Rogan 29:48 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 29:49 ... it's a problem.

Joe Rogan 29:49 Yeah. They're looking forward to it.

Brian Simpson 29:51 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 29:51 I had Mike Perry on the podcast the other day. He's a bare knuckle boxing guy that, uh, came over from the UFC. That dude, like some people pretend to not give a fuck. That dude doesn't give a fuck.

Brian Simpson 30:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:02 He doesn't give a fuck.

Brian Simpson 30:03 Better him than me.

Joe Rogan 30:04 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 30:05 Thank God it's people like that though.

Joe Rogan 30:06 Yeah. There's people like that out there, and they're so fucking entertaining to watch them fight.

Brian Simpson 30:11 Yeah. And you know what as much as I made fun of it when it first came out? The Slap League.

Joe Rogan 30:16 Ah, you like it?

Brian Simpson 30:17 I like the highlights.

Joe Rogan 30:18 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 30:18 I, I haven't watched the full match, but I will... But some of the people in there are, are characters, man.

Joe Rogan 30:23 (laughs) Yeah, for sure. If you're gonna get slapped in the face for a living, probably be a character. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 30:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:30 It's just-

Brian Simpson 30:30 That-

Joe Rogan 30:30 It's, it's designed for those clips.

Brian Simpson 30:32 I think-

Joe Rogan 30:32 It's perfect.

Brian Simpson 30:33 I think Dana needs to spring off. They need to have a, they need to have a separate champ for front hand and backhand slaps.

Joe Rogan 30:40 Ooh, backhand slap, hip slap.

Brian Simpson 30:41 Yeah, they need a backhand slap champion.

Joe Rogan 30:44 ... if you backhand slap, you gotta be dressed like a pimp.

Brian Simpson 30:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:47 You gotta have some fly velvet-

Brian Simpson 30:50 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:50 ... suit on, something just beautiful and purple.

Brian Simpson 30:53 Instead of a belt, it's just a cape for the champ.

Joe Rogan 30:55 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 30:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 30:56 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 30:56 I like that.

Joe Rogan 30:56 A cape. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 30:57 I like it.

Joe Rogan 30:57 Yeah, and a crown maybe, too, big old pimp crown and a, a chalice.

Brian Simpson 31:02 Big time.

Joe Rogan 31:02 Remember Pimps Up, Hoes Down?

Brian Simpson 31:04 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:05 (laughs) There was a while where, like-

Brian Simpson 31:07 They won't air shit like that.

Joe Rogan 31:07 They would never air shit like that today. It's horrible exploitation, and they were-

Brian Simpson 31:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:11 ... like, celebrating these guys.

Brian Simpson 31:12 Yeah. HBO, listen, we gotta give HBO their flowers.

Joe Rogan 31:16 Yes.

Brian Simpson 31:16 They've made some of the most in- sensational TV since... I mean, from the time I was a kid-

Joe Rogan 31:21 Fuck yeah.

Brian Simpson 31:22 ... on t- up to now. They, they got some f- they got more, they probably got... Their batting average is higher than every other network, for sure.

Joe Rogan 31:28 Their batting average is sensational.

Brian Simpson 31:30 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:31 So many good shows.

Brian Simpson 31:32 I mean, it... There's more good shows than bad shows on HBO.

Joe Rogan 31:34 Just Succession, which just ended.

Brian Simpson 31:37 Yeah, Succession was great.

Joe Rogan 31:38 Fucking great show.

Brian Simpson 31:39 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:40 Fucking great show.

Brian Simpson 31:41 Yeah. And when the, when-

Joe Rogan 31:42 And the ending, holy shit.

Brian Simpson 31:44 Man, you know what? I, I-

Joe Rogan 31:44 I clapped in my house. (clapping) I was like, "Thank you."

Brian Simpson 31:46 I feel different about the ending every time I think about it.

Joe Rogan 31:49 Well, it's, it's so... There's so much there. There's so... It's so... You're so conflicted 'cause there's no heroes.

Brian Simpson 31:54 There's no heroes. They're all fucking losers.

Joe Rogan 31:56 And they're... That's real. That's the real corporate world.

Brian Simpson 31:59 'Cause think about the fact that, at the end of the day, losing was still them all being rich.

Joe Rogan 32:07 Billionaires.

Brian Simpson 32:07 Like unbelievably wealthy, right?

Joe Rogan 32:09 Unbelievably wealthy.

Brian Simpson 32:10 And, and they were so unh-... 'Cause like I told you, like, people like that-

Joe Rogan 32:13 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 32:13 ... it's not about the amount of money. They wanted to be CEO. They all-

Joe Rogan 32:17 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 32:17 ... did.

Joe Rogan 32:17 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 32:17 And none of them ended up being, and, and, and I, and, and, and what's the, what, what's the, um, you know the whole, the whole Art of War thing when it's like, uh, it's like never go beyond victory.

Joe Rogan 32:28 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 32:28 So when, when I first watched it, I was like, "Man, fuck Shiv." She'd rather be under Tom who betrayed her than her brother be in charge. But then I thought about it at the end, and it's like the brother fucked up. And I don't know if this, if this was intentional, but I think, I like to think it is. You never go p- beyond winning. He, he had it won. He had it sewed up.

Joe Rogan 32:49 Yes.

Brian Simpson 32:49 And, and you stop. You don't do-

Joe Rogan 32:50 Yep.

Brian Simpson 32:50 ... too much. And when he was... He wanted to gloat one last time in the room, and you-

Joe Rogan 32:55 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 32:56 And remember, he excluded Shiv again.

Joe Rogan 32:58 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 32:58 He was like, "Me, m- me and my brother-

Joe Rogan 33:01 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 33:01 ... was able to bring it across the line." He d- and sh- that was her one thing.

Joe Rogan 33:05 Yep.

Brian Simpson 33:05 Like, "Stop excluding me. I'm smarter than both of y'all."

Joe Rogan 33:08 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 33:08 Li- and he, one last time, he ex- and that's when she got up and was like, "I gotta think about it." It's like...

Joe Rogan 33:13 Those characters were so perfect.

Brian Simpson 33:15 Oh, man. It was a perfect cast for sure. Like, they pl-

Joe Rogan 33:17 They're so good.

Brian Simpson 33:18 That show was so well-casted.

Joe Rogan 33:20 So well-casted.

Brian Simpson 33:21 Yeah. And what did Cousin Greg end up getting? Oh, he was just Tom's bitch for the rest of his life.

Joe Rogan 33:24 Yes.

Brian Simpson 33:25 Ugh.

Joe Rogan 33:25 Forever.

Brian Simpson 33:26 God, that dude's evil.

Joe Rogan 33:27 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 33:27 That dude's evil.

Joe Rogan 33:29 Yeah. Both of them are. Greg's evil, too.

Brian Simpson 33:32 Y- y- yeah.

Joe Rogan 33:32 He's creepy.

Brian Simpson 33:33 Yeah. And he comes off as like this bumbling kid, but they, but he, he got sucked into it.

Joe Rogan 33:37 Manipulative, yeah.

Brian Simpson 33:37 The ruthless... Yeah, and his-

Joe Rogan 33:38 Well, he was manipulative from the jump, though.

Brian Simpson 33:40 His granddad tried to talk to him out of it. It was like-

Joe Rogan 33:41 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 33:41 ... "Just, just be rich and away from these guys." They're not happy.

Joe Rogan 33:47 So crazy.

Brian Simpson 33:47 None of them are happy.

Joe Rogan 33:48 But it's a, it's a thing, like gambling addicts. Like I was, uh, I was talking to my friend Sean about gambling addicts the other day. Like, growing up in pool halls, you know, not growing up, but, you know, being in pool halls when I was younger, uh, those were my first exposure to real gambling addicts. And it is a sickness that's different than anything that I ever thought it was.

Brian Simpson 34:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:07 It is ju- just like crack. Like, these guys, they want that fucking... They just gotta be in action, and that's what they s- they call it. They call it action. "I gotta be in action." They wanna be in action. It's all... Money is just gambling coupons.

Brian Simpson 34:21 Yeah. They love the risk of it. They don't-

Joe Rogan 34:23 Yes.

Brian Simpson 34:23 It's not the winnings or the losings. It's the-

Joe Rogan 34:24 It's the fucking adrenaline rush and-

Brian Simpson 34:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:27 ... you're watching the ga- Did you see Uncut Gems?

Brian Simpson 34:29 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:29 Uncut Gems.

Brian Simpson 34:30 Once.

Joe Rogan 34:31 It's fucking great.

Brian Simpson 34:32 I can't watch it again.

Joe Rogan 34:33 It's so anxiety ra- 'Cause like, I knew people like that. I knew people like that. I knew people that blew everything, blew everything. I watched people blow tons of money. I've seen it. In, in pool halls, man, it's like everyone's a junkie. They're all junkies. You got your players-

Brian Simpson 34:53 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 34:53 ... who are like... They, they just, they're in- in- addicted to playing, and they're also addicted to winning. And they're, they're addicted to, you know, making scores. But then you got the lying people, the people that aren't even... They're not playing. They're fucking betting on the side.

Brian Simpson 35:06 Oh.

Joe Rogan 35:06 And those are the big bets. That's the big money. Sometimes people are playing for $25,000, but there's $500,000 in the room.

Brian Simpson 35:16 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 35:16 These are like big money games in the Philippines, big money games in... You know, like when, when they get... Some guy will come over from Europe and match up with somebody. They'll have these, like, uh, th- three-day tournaments where they're playing for $100,000, but there's so much betting on the side.

Brian Simpson 35:32 But has anyone ever ju- I wonder if they just sit down and do the math and realize like you lose way more than you win.

Joe Rogan 35:38 Yeah, but it's the fucking action.

Brian Simpson 35:40 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 35:40 You think you win sometimes. You're gonna keep winning. You're gonna win again. "I'm gonna get 'em back." I mean, that was Uncut Gems. It was always, like, chasing after that money. That's what they all do, man. It's wild to watch 'cause it was so scary to me. I got... I was nervous about gambling on pool. Like, I would only gamble a certain amount.

Brian Simpson 35:58 You think it's easier to have a friend with a gambling problem or a drinking problem?

Joe Rogan 36:03 (smacks lips) (sighs) I know a lot of good people that have kicked drinking. I know a lot of really good people-

Brian Simpson 36:09 Right.

Joe Rogan 36:10 ... that, that had drinking problems, and now they're awesome. Like, look at Dave Attell. He had a drinking problem, and he kicked it and became... It... He was already one of the best comics alive when he was a drinking guy and then quit and got even better. I mean-

Brian Simpson 36:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:24 ... he's, and he's amazing.

Brian Simpson 36:25 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 36:25 And he's amazing to be around. He's a beautiful person. Everyone loves Dave Attell.

Brian Simpson 36:29 Yeah, that's true.

Joe Rogan 36:29 So it's like that's a guy that had a drinking pro- I know a bunch of people that have had drinking problems. Drinking problems, to me, is like... It seems like that's... It's more relatable. You wanna escape, and it's usually some pain that you're dealing with in your life, some childhood shit or some failure shit or some-

Brian Simpson 36:44 Something you're avoiding.

Joe Rogan 36:45 ... yeah. Or it's a genetic thing. Some people, they just have a genetic propensity to alcoholism. It just runs through their whole family.

Brian Simpson 36:51 Dude, I just heard... A friend of mine told me about a guy the other day where he ha- he ha- he has a l- he has a drink, he has a drinking problem, but he also is an alcoholic.

Joe Rogan 37:00 Mm.

Brian Simpson 37:01 But he... I'm sorry. He's an alcoholic, but he's also allergic to alcohol.

Joe Rogan 37:05 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 37:06 S- so he would literally drink himself into the hospital like once a week.

Joe Rogan 37:10 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 37:11 And I was like, "That's, that... Right there? That's, that's bad right there."

Joe Rogan 37:14 (sighs)

Brian Simpson 37:14 You gotta recognize that shit is like your archnemesis.

Joe Rogan 37:17 But there's a thing about addictions where it's like even if you know it's bad for you-

Brian Simpson 37:22 Oh, yeah. You can't stop.

Joe Rogan 37:23 ... you keep getting pulled into it.

Brian Simpson 37:24 It's hard to explain that to somebody that's never been addicted to anything.

Joe Rogan 37:27 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 37:27 Or at least they think they haven't, but you know...

Joe Rogan 37:30 Dude, I was getting addicted to those nicotine vapes, but not even physically addicted. This what's crazy. I could put it away and not use it for a week. Like, I'd go on vacation. I wouldn't bring one with me, but then when I got one back, I just wanted to suck on it.

Brian Simpson 37:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:45 And here's the thing-

Brian Simpson 37:46 Somebody gonna turn that into a meme.

Joe Rogan 37:48 ... I just wanna suck on it, suck on it, suck on it.

Brian Simpson 37:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 37:49 Oh, there's so many horrible things we've said. Me and Ari the other day had a conversation about docking. You know when dudes take their, their foreskin (coughs) and put it over another dude's dick?

Brian Simpson 37:57 Right.

Joe Rogan 37:57 And we were like... We were ch- arguing over who's winning, you know?

Brian Simpson 38:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:01 (laughs) It's like... He's... (laughs) And, and he's like, "I'm sucking your dick." I go, "No, no, no. I'm fucking your mouth." It was like-

Brian Simpson 38:07 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 38:08 ... (laughs) it's stupid, stupid, but it was like, "My God." (laughs)

Brian Simpson 38:10 Why don't I always get in conversations like-

Joe Rogan 38:12 Next clip.

Brian Simpson 38:12 ... that around Ari?

Joe Rogan 38:13 Oh, he's a maniac. He's gonna be there tonight.

Brian Simpson 38:15 Oh, dope, dope.

Joe Rogan 38:16 Yeah, I can't wait to see him. Uh, Adrienne is there tomorrow.

Brian Simpson 38:19 Pelusi?

Joe Rogan 38:20 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 38:20 Oh, okay. Dope, dope, dope.

Joe Rogan 38:21 Yeah, I love her.

Brian Simpson 38:23 Yeah, she's funny as shit.

Joe Rogan 38:23 She's funny as shit.

Brian Simpson 38:24 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:24 And she's on the rise, you know? She's like a new kinda interesting talent.

Brian Simpson 38:29 Y- yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:30 Fascinating person. Super fucking smart.

Brian Simpson 38:32 She go hard too.

Joe Rogan 38:33 She goes hard.

Brian Simpson 38:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:36 She goes hard on stage.

Brian Simpson 38:37 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 38:37 But thank God for her.

Brian Simpson 38:38 But I've nev- I've never met her, I've never met her personally. She gonna be there tonight?

Joe Rogan 38:40 S- yeah, Sweetheart.

Brian Simpson 38:41 Okay. My friend Adrienne.

Joe Rogan 38:41 I don't know if she's here tonight. She'll be here tomorrow.

Brian Simpson 38:43 Okay.

Joe Rogan 38:43 She might come in tonight. Uh, but yeah, I g- I got to meet her, uh, during, um, The Moontower. She came by.

Brian Simpson 38:48 D- um, the Mothership is so d... How about Bottom of the Barrel? See, I didn't talk about Bottom of the Barrel-

Joe Rogan 38:53 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 38:53 ... at the beginning of the show.

Joe Rogan 38:54 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 38:54 But it's so much fucking fun.

Joe Rogan 38:57 It's the... I look forward to it so much.

Brian Simpson 38:59 Yes.

Joe Rogan 38:59 I was bummed out that I didn't get on stage the second one, but the fir- y- you never know, man. You never know. Like, what... I've had two premises that I've gotten out of Bottom of the Barrel that became actual bits.

Brian Simpson 39:09 Yeah, every night is... It's... And it's a different show every night.

Joe Rogan 39:12 It's so fun. It's so, so silly.

Brian Simpson 39:14 Yeah. And the crowds are now at... Now are starting to get to the point where like regular people are coming back-

Joe Rogan 39:19 Yes.

Brian Simpson 39:19 ... and back and back.

Joe Rogan 39:19 They come back.

Brian Simpson 39:20 Yeah, and it's like...

Joe Rogan 39:20 But it's always different.

Brian Simpson 39:22 It's always different.

Joe Rogan 39:22 It's always different. And some of the suggestions are hilarious.

Brian Simpson 39:25 Yeah, I give out prizes for... if I get a good, good one.

Joe Rogan 39:28 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 39:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:28 That salt... That e- the fly gun.

Brian Simpson 39:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 39:30 Those are s-

Brian Simpson 39:30 It's a fl- it's this gun called Bug-A-Salt. They sponsor our show, and, uh, they give us, uh... And the thing is, I... This is one of those places where like they didn't want... offer to sponsor, I, I ge- I, I got one, and I was like, "Everyone should have one of these." Like, I would be their spokesperson if they paid me.

Joe Rogan 39:46 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 39:46 'Cause, because I, I'm, I, I don't know if I've ever told you this, but I have a real... My relationship with flies w- w- like when I fir- when I was deployed, my first deployment to Iraq, you know, it was when we didn't have shit going on. We, we just came over the border, and we's camping in this town called Adumayyah. And this, this had the most, it had the most fertile soil I've ever seen. It just looked nutrient-rich. I'm, I could be wrong.

Joe Rogan 40:09 Mm.

Brian Simpson 40:10 But (clears throat) we would dig, we would dig holes to shit in every day. We didn't have any porta-potties, no infra- you know. And, uh, and somebody... You know, whoever got in trouble would have to bury the holes. But anyway, these were the biggest, most numerous flies-

Joe Rogan 40:23 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 40:24 ... that I've ever seen in my life. I learned that like they, they, they hibernate. Did you know that? Or-

Joe Rogan 40:29 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 40:29 E- that's probably not the scientific term, but they sleep at night, and they... to the point where like we would... Well, I would wake up and we... The, the tarp we had over our thing, it would be completely covered in flies. Like a millions of flies. F- f- and y- and you could, you could scrape them off. They wouldn't move, they wouldn't wake up. You could just-

Joe Rogan 40:44 Wow.

Brian Simpson 40:44 And we did it, we did it every morning. We'd kill them all.

Joe Rogan 40:46 Ugh.

Brian Simpson 40:46 And every morning, they was full again. It was that many flies.

Joe Rogan 40:49 Oh, imagine if you didn't kill them.

Brian Simpson 40:50 Yeah. And they were so... And they were s- there were so many flies, and they were starving. Any chance at moisture. So, w- we would eat these, um, (clears throat) MREs, you know? You ever... You ever had an MRE?

Joe Rogan 40:59 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 41:00 It's like e- so, you know how you... Ev- m- everybody eats it out of the bag it comes in, right?

Joe Rogan 41:03 Right.

Brian Simpson 41:03 And so when you open that bag, you had about three seconds to get the food in your mouth 'cause they... it's like they would sense the moisture. And even if you got the bag closed in time, they would p- p- p- p- p-. Just all over your f-

Joe Rogan 41:14 Wow.

Brian Simpson 41:14 Just anything. If you cried, they were on your tears. They were just starving.

Joe Rogan 41:18 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 41:18 That's why I don't eat outside.

Joe Rogan 41:20 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 41:21 You know? If it's more... Like if it... Like if it's too many women in the group, they always wanna eat outside, and I was go- I'm, I'm good. I don't wanna... I'm not gonna come 'cause I already know the cutest girl's gonna go like, "We should get outside and look at..." And I'm, and I'm be... I'm just be pissed-

Joe Rogan 41:32 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 41:32 ... the whole time... The first time a fly lands on my food, I'm, I'm... I hate this bitch. You wanted to do this.

Joe Rogan 41:38 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 41:38 Right? And so when I discovered a gun that could kill these motherfuckers, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:44 There it is. Do you know my wife took mine away?

Brian Simpson 41:47 Really? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:48 Yeah. She's like, "The whole fucking house is gonna be covered with salt. You're gonna leave the doors open just so you can kill more flies."

Brian Simpson 41:55 (laughs) It's all... Did you get the... Did I get you the pistol or the rifle?

Joe Rogan 41:57 You gave me a rifle.

Brian Simpson 41:58 Oh, Joe. No, no, no. We gotta-

Joe Rogan 41:59 The pistol?

Brian Simpson 42:00 ... we gotta upgrade you tonight, dog.

Joe Rogan 42:01 Good.

Brian Simpson 42:01 Pistol's different.

Joe Rogan 42:01 Because I told you she took the, the rifle.

Brian Simpson 42:03 Yeah. So-

Joe Rogan 42:03 I'm gonna have to hide the pistol.

Brian Simpson 42:05 The, the, the rifle-

Joe Rogan 42:06 I'm gonna have to conceal carry.

Brian Simpson 42:06 The rifle's cool. The rifle comes with an infrared sight.

Joe Rogan 42:08 Ooh.

Brian Simpson 42:09 Right? And that's... It's pretty cool. It's accurate within, I think, four feet.

Joe Rogan 42:12 Mm.

Brian Simpson 42:12 But it... But you pump it, right?

Joe Rogan 42:13 Right.

Brian Simpson 42:14 And that's cool. That'll knock a fly out of the sky. But the pistol's called the Shredder.

Joe Rogan 42:17 Mm.

Brian Simpson 42:18 Now, the Shredder... Okay. It comes with a CO2 cartridge.

Joe Rogan 42:23 (gasps) .

Brian Simpson 42:24 So when it... And it, and it's a revolver.

Joe Rogan 42:26 Ooh.

Brian Simpson 42:26 So it, it, it literally has a little revolver things. You rub it in salt, load it up... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:32 Oh, Bug-A-Salt Shredder.

Brian Simpson 42:34 And you get a little holster for it.

Joe Rogan 42:36 Ooh.

Brian Simpson 42:36 And bro, when I tell you... 'Cause it... now that thing, it'll rip a fly to pieces.

Joe Rogan 42:40 Oh, yeah.

Brian Simpson 42:40 You hit a fly with that motherfucker and it's dead.

Joe Rogan 42:42 That's what I'm talking about.Yeah, man.

Brian Simpson 42:45 I need one of these.

Joe Rogan 42:46 Yeah. Uh, no, I got you. We have, we have 'em at the club.

Brian Simpson 42:48 I get fucked up by mosquitoes in my yard.

Joe Rogan 42:51 Oh.

Brian Simpson 42:51 Because you know, I'm out there doing archery.

Joe Rogan 42:53 Oh, okay.

Brian Simpson 42:53 And, uh, I'll do it during the day with shorts on, 'cause it's 95 fucking degrees out there and I'm, I'm out there for two hours and I come inside and my ankles are just brutalized.

Joe Rogan 43:02 Yeah. They, what I call 'em, No-See-Ums.

Brian Simpson 43:04 This, this one made f- it's made for cockroaches. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 43:06 Oh, my God. Holy shit.

Brian Simpson 43:08 It's good for big, big bugs.

Joe Rogan 43:10 Bro, it just blows 'em away.

Brian Simpson 43:12 Bang. Lemme see. Boom! Ew, are you shooting salt into your fucking c- food? Well, if it's popcorn, it's fine.

Joe Rogan 43:18 This is just such a setup. Oh, that, that guy got fucked up.

Brian Simpson 43:21 Yeah, bro.

Joe Rogan 43:21 Boom, son.

Brian Simpson 43:23 I mean, what did they do for this commercial? How did they even-

Joe Rogan 43:25 They let those roaches on that stuff, they, they had probably had 'em in a bucket.

Brian Simpson 43:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 43:29 They just dumped 'em on the table.

Brian Simpson 43:31 I'm telling you, it's so satisfying.

Joe Rogan 43:32 Okay.

Brian Simpson 43:33 America, man, I'm a, I'm definitely gi- I'm giving these guys free game right now, but I'm gonna tell you, the, it, there's no more satisfying feeling than shooting one of them motherfuckers out the sky or shooting it off of something.

Joe Rogan 43:42 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 43:43 Every time, 'cause you know in, if you live in Texas, every time you open your door, something flies in your house.

Joe Rogan 43:48 Right.

Brian Simpson 43:48 That's just, that's just part of living out here.

Joe Rogan 43:50 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 43:50 Every single day, something flying is in my house.

Joe Rogan 43:51 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 43:52 And every single day, I kill that motherfucker and it feels so good.

Joe Rogan 43:55 Wow.

Brian Simpson 43:55 I have two of those. I have one upstairs and one downstairs, so no matter where I am, I don't gotta, I don't gotta leave the floor, I go right away and I talk shit the whole time. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 44:04 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 44:04 I'm like, "Oh, you think, uh, you think shit's sweet up in here?" No, no, no. Anyway.

Joe Rogan 44:09 We got a fire ant problem, too.

Brian Simpson 44:11 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 44:12 Those little motherfuckers. Woof.

Brian Simpson 44:14 Man.

Joe Rogan 44:14 It's very impressive, the mounds that they make. Like, those guys go ham.

Brian Simpson 44:18 Yeah. They, Texas is wild with the bugs. I feel like every kind of bug in the world is here.

Joe Rogan 44:22 Bugs, snakes. I got a booklet that they sell at the supermarket of like, the snakes from Central Texas, like what's dangerous and what's not.

Brian Simpson 44:30 That's here in Austin?

Joe Rogan 44:31 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 44:31 Oh, wow.

Joe Rogan 44:32 Yeah. My friend called me, uh, she goes, "What is this?" And she sent me photos or videos of two big ass coral snakes in her garage and I'm like, "Those are real bad." Like, get the fuck, get those fucking things out of there.

Brian Simpson 44:44 Yeah, that'll, that'll kill you.

Joe Rogan 44:45 Oh, yeah. Yeah, a coral snake can kill you. Yeah.

Brian Simpson 44:48 Yeah. They usually aren't trying to fuck with you, though.

Joe Rogan 44:50 No. No, they don't, but the problem is sometimes you don't know they're there.

Brian Simpson 44:53 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 44:54 And so you're stepping and you step too close to them and they bite you.

Brian Simpson 44:57 And you, and yes, it's a wrap.

Joe Rogan 44:58 Especially if you're not looking, you know, you're just wandering through the woods, "God, it's so beautiful out here, ha."

Brian Simpson 45:03 And espe- especially if you don't know what bit you, that's a whole other thing.

Joe Rogan 45:05 Oh, yeah. And you don't get to a hospital.

Brian Simpson 45:07 Yeah, you gotta get to the hospital with the thing that killed you.

Joe Rogan 45:09 Yeah, right.

Brian Simpson 45:09 You gotta know what it was.

Joe Rogan 45:10 Right.

Brian Simpson 45:11 You know?

Joe Rogan 45:12 I'm sure hospitals out here probably carry antivenom.

Brian Simpson 45:14 Yeah?

Joe Rogan 45:14 My dogs got bit a ton of times by rattlesnakes.

Brian Simpson 45:17 Really?

Joe Rogan 45:17 Yeah, my pit bulls. Back when I used to have pit bulls.

Brian Simpson 45:20 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:20 Th- they, anything in that yard was dead.

Brian Simpson 45:22 You know, I saw a video the other day, this might not be true, who knows what you learn off the internet, but, uh, but cats are like, quicker than snakes.

Joe Rogan 45:29 Oh, yeah. They're way quicker.

Brian Simpson 45:30 They're, they're way quicker. Their reflexes are way harder than a snake.

Joe Rogan 45:31 There's a great video of a snake trying to bite a p- a kitten, like a young cat, and the cat's like, "Wap! Shut the fuck up with that."

Brian Simpson 45:39 Yeah. The cat hit you two time. Wap, wap.

Joe Rogan 45:41 Wap, wap.

Brian Simpson 45:41 You my favorite, listen. (laughs) You know how like, if you, after you do comedy for so long, it's the real silly shit that makes you, gets at you.

Joe Rogan 45:49 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 45:49 It's not like the intricate shit, it's like the silly shit that makes me laugh. Tony Baker doing voiceovers of cat videos. Have you... You know Tony Baker?

Joe Rogan 45:58 The comedian?

Brian Simpson 45:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 45:59 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 45:59 He's one of the funniest motherfuckers alive and he does these voiceovers of animal videos and when he, when it's a cat thing, he, so he has all, he has all these different phrases but he, he, when a cat hits somebody, he calls it a skippity pat.

Joe Rogan 46:10 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 46:11 And he'll, and he'll, it's, bro, it's, you gotta find one of these jokes. Like, it's one of the, he, he-

Narrator 46:16 Ah, help me, brother.

Brian Simpson 46:18 Help you? Whoa. That's not... Is this Tony Baker? The king. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:23 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 46:24 Long live the king.

Narrator 46:24 Simba, your father.

Brian Simpson 46:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 46:29 (laughs) Bro, cats fighting on roofs is crazy.

Brian Simpson 46:32 Oh.

Joe Rogan 46:32 They die sometimes.

Brian Simpson 46:33 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:33 Those little motherfuckers can fall really far though.

Brian Simpson 46:35 Yeah. I mean, my cat, my cat goes outside, I worry about her all the time but, but she's a sh- she's a savvy one, man.

Joe Rogan 46:41 You've always had, let your cat go out?

Brian Simpson 46:43 Yeah. She, well, when I got her, she was like an outdoor cat, so.

Joe Rogan 46:47 Oh. Yeah, they don't take kindly to being stuck indoors, those outdoor cats.

Brian Simpson 46:51 No.

Joe Rogan 46:52 They'll start pissing on you.

Brian Simpson 46:53 "Hey, right now, I don't like what's happening right here. I don't like how you're holding my arm and licking my chest. I don't like what's going on right here."

Joe Rogan 47:01 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 47:01 "I'll rip your paw pads loose and put them in a nice little broth and let that simmer while I sell your cat's fur to the highest bidder and eat all your goddamn catnip, you understand me? But hey, to each his own, you know what I'm saying? I mean," (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:12 "Whatever you're into." (laughs)

Brian Simpson 47:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:14 It's so funny.

Brian Simpson 47:15 I'll be around.

Joe Rogan 47:15 You see a, a labrador growling like, "Bitch, you're so faking it." (laughs)

Brian Simpson 47:20 Oh, God. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:21 They're the nicest dogs in the world.

Brian Simpson 47:23 And most of the f- most of those families that have cats and dogs, the cat is ruling the roost.

Joe Rogan 47:26 Yeah, they smack the dog right in the fucking face.

Brian Simpson 47:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 47:29 Did you ever see the video of the girl talking about her pronouns and the cat turns and smacks her in the face?

Brian Simpson 47:33 No.

Joe Rogan 47:33 It's hilarious.

Brian Simpson 47:35 What?

Joe Rogan 47:35 So it's a girl like, holding her cat and she's being serious about her pronouns and this cat turns around and goes, "Shut the fuck up." Just... (laughs)

Brian Simpson 47:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:42 And she's like, "Oh."

Narrator 47:43 Hi, my name is Erin. I use she/her pronouns and I am mis-

Brian Simpson 47:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 47:47 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 47:55 And, and you know what, dude? It was, it was probably her fault. Look, my cat, my cat only acts up...

Joe Rogan 48:01 This is fucking hilarious. That cat was like, "Shut the fuck up."

Brian Simpson 48:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:06 "Shut the fuck up." No warning. "Just shut the fuck up."

Brian Simpson 48:08 Yeah, you should've fed him. My cat, my cat only acts up when I'm wrong.

Joe Rogan 48:11 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 48:11 She's never wrong. You know, something's always wrong. If she acting up-

Joe Rogan 48:15 Right.

Brian Simpson 48:15 ... it's either, it's either something's wrong healthwise or-

Joe Rogan 48:18 Oh.

Brian Simpson 48:18 ... or I'm late feeding her or-

Joe Rogan 48:20 Hmm.

Brian Simpson 48:20 ... her litter box is dirt- like, something.

Joe Rogan 48:22 Right.

Brian Simpson 48:22 It's always something I didn't do. She never just starts acting a certain way.

Joe Rogan 48:24 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 48:25 So that, then she probably was fucking something up.

Joe Rogan 48:26 Well, she's annoying.

Brian Simpson 48:28 Yeah, like that wash-

Joe Rogan 48:28 That whole she/her pronouns thing is annoying.

Brian Simpson 48:29 Wash the water bowl, bitch.

Joe Rogan 48:31 If you're annoying about that, you're probably annoying about other stuff.

Brian Simpson 48:33 Yeah. The cat was like, "She need to change my fucking water bowl."

Joe Rogan 48:38 (laughs) The litter box thing is rough. If you don't change litter boxes all the time, like, people go to their house and it smells like piss, it's like, you don't...... the o-olfactory senses are interesting, in that they, they detect change.

Brian Simpson 48:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 48:50 They don't detect static smell. So, like, you get used to being, like, if you live in a town where it has a slaughterhouse-

Brian Simpson 48:57 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 48:57 ... like, you get used to that. If you live in a town that's got, like, a lot of agricultural chemicals around, that terrible smell. Like, my parents used to live in Pennsylvania, and I used to drive to visit them through Jersey.

Brian Simpson 49:07 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 49:07 And when you're going through Pennsylvania, uh, went, going to where they lived, there was a lot of, like, agriculture. And the smell was so bad.

Brian Simpson 49:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:16 You roll down the window, you're like, "What the fuck?" These people live with that every day, but they don't notice it after a while.

Brian Simpson 49:21 Right, right.

Joe Rogan 49:22 So, like, that's a thing with people's houses. When you go over there and they have a box of piss, and like, "Hey, you gotta get rid of this." Like, "You have a box-"

Brian Simpson 49:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:29 "... of piss in your house."

Brian Simpson 49:30 Plus, man, the technology is so m- high now.

Joe Rogan 49:32 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 49:33 Yeah. My cat-

Joe Rogan 49:34 Why do they have those things that (imitates device) It goes, it sh-

Brian Simpson 49:36 Yeah, they gotta-

Joe Rogan 49:36 ... cleans it.

Brian Simpson 49:36 They got the automa- they got the automatic joints.

Joe Rogan 49:39 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 49:39 It's like, it don't make sense.

Joe Rogan 49:40 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 49:40 Use this little drawer. Drawer, change it.

Joe Rogan 49:43 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 49:43 Yeah, but then if you had a outdoor cat, like, you know, she shits outside somewhere. I have no idea where she shits.

Joe Rogan 49:48 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 49:49 I have no idea where th-

Joe Rogan 49:51 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 49:51 ... where she shits at, and I don't clean it up. I d- I think they bury it a little.

Joe Rogan 49:54 Do your roommates take care of her when you go outta town?

Brian Simpson 49:56 No.

Joe Rogan 49:57 No?

Brian Simpson 49:57 I mean, they-

Joe Rogan 49:58 No?

Brian Simpson 49:58 I'm sure they watch out for her, but not anymo- the only time-

Joe Rogan 50:01 Do they leave food out for her?

Brian Simpson 50:02 No. No. I'll have Sam. You know Sam?

Joe Rogan 50:03 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 50:03 D- Derek's fiance, Sam?

Joe Rogan 50:04 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 50:05 Um, sh- she runs bottom of the barrel with me. She, she... I would rather her do it just 'cause, you know, men don't-

Joe Rogan 50:12 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 50:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 50:13 Right, exactly.

Brian Simpson 50:13 'Cause, like, they'll, they'll take care of her, but they won't do what I would do. She'll- she'd do what I would do.

Joe Rogan 50:17 Right.

Brian Simpson 50:17 So it's like a, if I'm g-

Joe Rogan 50:18 Mm-hmm.

Brian Simpson 50:18 But onl- only if I'm gone for more than a few days. You know, if it, if I'm gone, like, four days somewhere? Then I'll have, I'll just have her go check on her a little bit.

Joe Rogan 50:25 If you have a cat and you come back home after a couple days, the cat's like, "Oh, look, you're back."

Brian Simpson 50:28 No. No, this bitch don't like it.

Joe Rogan 50:30 She gets mad at you?

Brian Simpson 50:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:32 Really?

Brian Simpson 50:32 She's always upset, yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:34 Really? Like, what does she do? Does she meow at you?

Brian Simpson 50:35 'Cause she, she got, like, abandonment issues.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Oh.

Brian Simpson 50:37 So she always, whenever I leave for more than a day, she thinks-

Joe Rogan 50:40 Oh.

Brian Simpson 50:40 ... I'm gonna leave her.

Joe Rogan 50:41 Oh, yeah.

Brian Simpson 50:42 You know?

Joe Rogan 50:42 I've had, uh, strays, stray dogs that were like that.

Brian Simpson 50:45 Yeah, some-

Joe Rogan 50:46 They get so sad when you leave.

Brian Simpson 50:46 But, man, the bitch fine. She just, uh, she got two fountains. She got a damn dog.

Joe Rogan 50:50 She just doesn't know.

Brian Simpson 50:51 Yeah, she doesn't need a lot. Her food, the bowl is automatic. The water fountains are automatic.

Joe Rogan 50:55 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 50:55 She got two of those. The litter box is automatic.

Joe Rogan 50:58 That food can't be good, that dry-ass bullshit food.

Brian Simpson 51:00 No, no. I mean, I feed her wet food when I'm home.

Joe Rogan 51:02 Right.

Brian Simpson 51:03 But, but, uh, like I said, I couldn't trust anybody else to do it.

Joe Rogan 51:06 I wonder if cats get mercury poisoning from, like, eating tuna and shit like that?

Brian Simpson 51:11 Mm, I don't... I, I think they, uh...

Joe Rogan 51:13 D- is that an issue with cat-

Brian Simpson 51:14 I think their, their kidneys are all pretty fucking strong.

Joe Rogan 51:16 Yeah, but I mean, mercury is, it's a heavy metal poison.

Brian Simpson 51:20 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 51:20 Like, I don't think it's good for any animal.

Brian Simpson 51:22 They, they, and they not giving them sushi-grade fish.

Joe Rogan 51:25 Well, a lot of those, uh, that's true, but a lot of those tuna, they're riddled with it, because the big fish are the ones that are eating the most little fish, and a lot of the little fish are the ones that have the heavy metal poison.

Narrator 51:35 Yeah, they can get it.

Joe Rogan 51:36 Oh, they can. Look at this, "Animals do not show signs until several weeks after being poisoned by organic mercury. Signs can include blindness, excitement, abnormal behavior and chewing, lack of coordination, and convulsions." Oh, Jesus.

Brian Simpson 51:49 Oh, convulsions.

Joe Rogan 51:50 "Cats show hind leg rigidity, lack of coordination, and tremors. Neurologic signs may be irreversible." Oh, no. So, i- it's not common to cats, but it may be the first thing a veterinarian suspects, so it's possible that mercury poisoning happens but is not diagnosed. Oh, "May not be the first thing a veterinarian suspects." Oh, wow. I had a dog once, a puppy that I got, and it had distemper. And you can't fix that in a puppy.

Brian Simpson 52:17 What is distemper?

Joe Rogan 52:18 Distemper is horrible. I think it's... Is it parvo or distemper? Are they the same thing? Um, it's a horrible virus that puppies get. And, uh, he would just go into these terrible convulsions, like, these seizures. It was so sad.

Brian Simpson 52:35 Wow.

Joe Rogan 52:35 He was just the cutest little guy, and there's nothing they could do about it. There's nothing they could do about it, at the time, at least. It was 20-plus years ago.

Brian Simpson 52:42 Yeah, watching something cute die is difficult.

Joe Rogan 52:44 Oh, it was so horrible.

Narrator 52:45 Not the same thing.

Joe Rogan 52:45 He was so adorable. He was such a little sweetie. It's not the same thing. Uh, so, um, p- "Distemper and parvo are not the same disease, but both are highly contagious viral diseases that could so- cause serious symptoms and even death, especially for ung- unvaccinated puppies and adult dogs." Yeah.

Brian Simpson 53:03 "Distemper, hepatitis, parainfluenza..."

Joe Rogan 53:04 I got him from the pound, and, you know, he was a, a rescue puppy, and, you know, sometimes when, you know, they're arou- who knows where they are before the pound gets them? And he was already infected.

Brian Simpson 53:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:14 So sad. He was such a cute little guy. They wanted to j-

Brian Simpson 53:17 Why'd you take, why'd you take him home if he was already gonna die?

Joe Rogan 53:19 I didn't know.

Brian Simpson 53:20 Oh, okay.

Joe Rogan 53:20 I didn't know until after I had him. He, he started showing symptoms, uh, a while after we got him.

Brian Simpson 53:28 Damn.

Joe Rogan 53:28 He was real young, too. It was, oh, it was awful.

Brian Simpson 53:30 Oh, that's tough.

Joe Rogan 53:31 (exhales) He was so cute.

Brian Simpson 53:33 I haven't lost my pet yet. I mean, I've, I've had animals die on me, but they were never mine.

Joe Rogan 53:37 Hmm.

Brian Simpson 53:38 I don't know what I'd do if something happened to this thing.

Joe Rogan 53:39 I saw a dead deer on the side of the highway. I got sad. This is the deer out here dropping their fawns, so you got these cute little baby deer that are running around. And (clears throat) when, uh, we were walking the other day, and, um, the, the mother deer ran away and left the fawn, and the fawn just lies down on the ground. 'Cause they're so small, they can't run yet.

Brian Simpson 53:58 Oh.

Joe Rogan 53:58 And so the mother tries to distract you by running away so that you chase her, and the, hopefully the fawn kind of blends into the grass.

Brian Simpson 54:07 Oh.

Joe Rogan 54:07 Yeah, they don't have any defense mechanisms. They're just too small. So for the first, I don't know how many days, they really can't run away. Now they can kind of run away. Like, now I see the same little baby deer, and now they're running around, and...

Brian Simpson 54:19 Wow.

Joe Rogan 54:20 But, it's like they're so vulnerable.

Brian Simpson 54:21 That feels, yeah, that's a bad plan for mother deers.

Joe Rogan 54:23 Well, it's a plan that ensures that, uh, there's gonna be less deer. Uh, because-

Brian Simpson 54:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:28 ... you can't have too many deer.

Brian Simpson 54:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 54:30 Like, you can't, you can't be perfect where they come out running, full, full speed.

Brian Simpson 54:33 You would never...

Joe Rogan 54:34 They, you know, coyotes would never get them.

Brian Simpson 54:36 Well, that's more planning than those submarine people.

Joe Rogan 54:38 Shoo...

Brian Simpson 54:40 That shit pisses me off, the more I think about it.

Joe Rogan 54:42 It scares the shit out of me-

Brian Simpson 54:44 How you don't-

Joe Rogan 54:44 ... 'cause it just seems like a horrific way to die.

Brian Simpson 54:46 How you don't have a plan B? See, this, you know what's so strange about that whole situation to me? I was telling Jamie earlier, um, is that...... they have, what? They had, they, it started out with like four days' worth of air, Jamie?

54:59 Yeah.

54:59 So, so someone thought, "If something goes wrong, they gonna need extra oxygen."

Joe Rogan 55:04 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 55:05 Right? 'Cause it's, it's only if the trip was less than a day, but they have four days' worth of air. So, someone was thinking about what they might need in an emergency-

Joe Rogan 55:12 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 55:12 ... and they stopped right there. They gave them extra air and then no other way to get out of a bad situation. Like, they can't control it from inside of it, there's no emergency surface button, there's no transponder.

Joe Rogan 55:23 They don't control it from inside of it?

Brian Simpson 55:25 No, it's controlled from the ship.

Joe Rogan 55:26 Oh, Jesus. Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 55:28 And the sh- the ship gotta be right, uh, b- directly above it.

Joe Rogan 55:30 Whoa, no.

Brian Simpson 55:32 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:33 Oh, no.

Brian Simpson 55:33 And if that doesn't happen, if they, if somehow they lose contact with the ship, the ship is not directly above it, that's it. There's no Plan B.

Joe Rogan 55:41 What?

Brian Simpson 55:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:43 So, is it like, is there a tide that moved them away from under the ship? Like, what the fuck happened?

Brian Simpson 55:47 I have no idea, maybe somebody crashed?

Joe Rogan 55:50 (gasps)

Brian Simpson 55:50 Maybe, you know, maybe that, maybe that window failed at a certain depth? I, that's what I think happened. I think the, I think the pl- the thing failed. I don't, I think they're dead. I think it, it, it imploded on 'em.

Joe Rogan 56:00 Why do you think that?

Brian Simpson 56:01 Because it seems like (sighs) ...

Joe Rogan 56:04 What do you think the banging is?

Brian Simpson 56:06 Uh, I think the banging is just, it, it's banging up against something or, or maybe the banging is something else. Maybe it's the, the ship shaking? You know, they, they've never measured the sounds around that area. It's not like they, they can say that that banging is outside the norm.

Joe Rogan 56:18 Oh, really?

Brian Simpson 56:19 Yeah, I mean, the Titanic's down there. It's probably still creaking and swinging and-

Joe Rogan 56:22 (sighs)

Brian Simpson 56:22 Who knows what, who knows what that banging is? But I could be, and I could be wrong. That could be them banging.

Joe Rogan 56:27 Ooh, God.

Brian Simpson 56:27 Seems like a waste of energy. Like, nobody's gonna hear you.

Joe Rogan 56:29 But if someone is hearing them, yeah.

Brian Simpson 56:31 Oh, like the, like, they're thinking, "Oh, the sonar will hear them." Well, I guess that's what it's for.

Joe Rogan 56:34 Yeah, I think they, they f- heard it through a plane? Is that true?

Brian Simpson 56:39 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 56:39 Yeah, so there's a plane that detected the banging.

Brian Simpson 56:41 But it's still unconfirmed, f- from what I thought I was just reading, like-

56:44 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:45 Oh.

Brian Simpson 56:45 ... someone's claiming they heard that and then there's like confirmation.

56:48 Yeah, but, but at, uh, but at this point, we know, like, there's no, there's no hope of saving them.

Joe Rogan 56:52 Jesus Christ.

Brian Simpson 56:52 Even if they're, even if they're alive, like right now, th-

Joe Rogan 56:56 How do they get 'em out?

Brian Simpson 56:57 How do they get 'em out? Even if they, look, even if they-

Joe Rogan 56:59 Don't they have another one of those things they can just totally-

Brian Simpson 56:59 Even if they were on the surface right now, like, if they had risen to the surface somehow, r- there is an emergency, they still can't breathe, they can't open it. They c- no one can, they can't open it from the inside. So, they, they can't... They have to find them to save them, and any- even if they found 'em right now, they gotta bring 'em to the surface slowly. You know, they can't bring 'em up too fast. So, who even, who even fucking knows, man? I th- I think it's, I think it's a wrap.

Joe Rogan 57:23 How long does it take to get 'em to the surface?

Brian Simpson 57:25 (sighs) You know, I do- I don't know. I think, but it, it would, it's longer than you'd be comfortable with.

Joe Rogan 57:30 (sighs)

Brian Simpson 57:31 'Cause I, so I think...

Joe Rogan 57:32 (exhales)

Brian Simpson 57:33 It's not about how much air they have left, right? It's about, do they, do they have enough hours of air left that it would take them to raise them to the surface and open that hatch?

Joe Rogan 57:43 How do they even plan, see if it, there's like some sort of a detailed strategy of retrieval?

Brian Simpson 57:48 I mean... Oh, I'm looking.

Joe Rogan 57:49 How could they possibly get it out?

Brian Simpson 57:51 So, what I found so far is that, uh, during th- uh, they s- they spoke with somebody else, one of the writers for The Simpsons or creators for The Simpsons or something, took this tour last year, and they had problems on their trip. Uh, three times on the, or it says, uh, communication was lost during all three of his dives, including that to the Titanic.

58:15 (gasps)

58:15 It's like when they were trying to do it for TV, they c- they couldn't even find the Titanic or something.

58:20 (gasps)

58:21 The boat has to be near the sub, so communication can happen. And if they are not near each other, communication is just gone.

Joe Rogan 58:30 What the fuck, man?

Brian Simpson 58:32 GPS doesn't work underwater, nor does radio. Um...

Joe Rogan 58:37 Oh, my God. And they don't have a line attached to it?

Brian Simpson 58:42 Yeah, that's like some... I, I...

Joe Rogan 58:44 No.

Brian Simpson 58:45 In theory, which is probably not correct, uh, it could have resurfaced at some point, and it's just floating somewhere and they can't get out, you know?

Joe Rogan 58:51 What?

Brian Simpson 58:52 'Cause people... They says there's seven different, uh, not backups, but there are seven different possibilities for it to resurface, and they're like, "Well, if none of those happened, the other possibilities are that there was a leak, in which case there's no backup vessel." You're kind of fucked.

Joe Rogan 59:09 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 59:10 Yeah, any kind of leak, any kind of opening at that depth is gonna kill everybody.

Joe Rogan 59:15 It's so scary.

Brian Simpson 59:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:17 That's such a sca- 'cause it's so slow, like getting down there is so slow and knowing that all that water is above you, miles.

Brian Simpson 59:25 Yeah, just a column of water sitting on top of you.

Joe Rogan 59:27 Oh. Oh-ho-ho.

Brian Simpson 59:29 Two miles down, basically.

Joe Rogan 59:31 Oh, Jesus. Oh.

Brian Simpson 59:33 And then imagine (laughs) and then imagine you sitting there and then thinking about the one motherfucker that was trying to tell you that window wasn't good.

Joe Rogan 59:40 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 59:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:41 Right, the guy who's sweating it, the CEO, who has the information?

Brian Simpson 59:45 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:45 Get all the windows closed?

Brian Simpson 59:46 'Cause if we gotta kill somebody to save air, I'm, uh, we killing him first. I'm talking the group into it.

Joe Rogan 59:50 (exhales)

Brian Simpson 59:51 Hey, man. You know what? You had a good run.

Joe Rogan 59:54 Boy, everybody involved in that company is fucked.

Brian Simpson 59:57 Somebody gonna pay for that.

Joe Rogan 59:59 Oh, my God.

Brian Simpson 1:00:00 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:00 One of, one of the guys is a billionaire.

Brian Simpson 1:00:01 Well, it depends on which political party makes it their i- their issue.

Joe Rogan 1:00:05 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:00:05 If the, if the Republicans make it their issue, somebody gonna pay for that.

Joe Rogan 1:00:08 What is happening with that Sam Bankman-Fried guy? I heard they dropped five of his charges.

Brian Simpson 1:00:13 Mm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:14 Which is wild. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:00:15 I wonder how that happened.

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 Which is wild. They just quietly did that while they're telling us about aliens. (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:00:20 Yeah, man. This is the, this is the end of, this is the end of the death of truth. This is the age where you can't tell what's true, you can't tell who's who.

Joe Rogan 1:00:28 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:00:28 Who's being bribed, who's not, who has an agenda.

Joe Rogan 1:00:31 Right.

Brian Simpson 1:00:32 So now, people are going based off, it's, it's like what you're likely to believe is whatever you want to be true.

Joe Rogan 1:00:39 Did you see that, um, you know James O'Keefe left Project Veritas? He was the guy that does all those gotcha videos, investigative reporter videos where they-

Brian Simpson 1:00:47 No, I don't under-

Joe Rogan 1:00:48 ... undercover videos. He got a lot of 'em, uh, like... (sighs) I don't know what led him to leave Project Veritas, but he started his own group and his own group yesterday, he got some guy from...... this corporation talking about how easy it is to bribe politicians. So he's on a date with this-

Brian Simpson 1:01:05 Oh, yeah, you sent me this, this Instagram thing.

Joe Rogan 1:01:07 Yeah.

Brian Simpson 1:01:07 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:08 It's wild. It's wi- 'cause this guy, he's bl- he's like s- you know, you can get a senator for like 10 grand. Like he was, it's hot-

Brian Simpson 1:01:17 Does he i- does he know he's being recorded? It doesn't look like he does.

Joe Rogan 1:01:19 No, he's on a date.

Narrator 1:01:20 At some point he says that that pr- he's like, "You might be an undercover reporter." But then he still keeps telling the girl stuff.

Joe Rogan 1:01:25 Yeah, 'cause he's trying to be funny. He's, he's... find that. G- he, I think he's trying to impress a girl. But that's what it always is. Like a lot of them are these chatty gay guys and they get some cute gay guy to go on dates with them.

Brian Simpson 1:01:37 Yeah, but, but there's one part of the video where he's like at a job fair or something. He's just talking.

Joe Rogan 1:01:42 Yeah, so this is it. Play it.

Narrator 1:01:45 Oh, I mean, oh, okay.

1:01:48 I don't think that they... I don't know, but I suspect it's probably because it's easier to do things when people aren't thinking about it. All of these financial institutions, they buy politicians. You can take this big (beep) ton of money and then you can start to buy people. I work for, uh, a company called BlackRock.

Joe Rogan 1:02:04 Meet Serge Varley, a recruiter at BlackRock.

Narrator 1:02:09 And it's like it's not-

Brian Simpson 1:02:12 Oh.

Narrator 1:02:12 It's who's controlling the, the wallet.

1:02:14 Fucking music is really killing me.

Joe Rogan 1:02:16 Yeah, it says, "Let me tell you, it's not the president, it's, it's who's controlling the wallet of the president." And who's that? The hedge funds, BlackRock, the banks, these guys run the world.

Brian Simpson 1:02:24 Also, what a fucking-

Joe Rogan 1:02:25 Campaign financing, yep, you can buy your candidates. Look at this. Obviously we have the system in place.

Narrator 1:02:30 First there is the senators. These guys are (beep) cheap. You got 10 grand, you can buy a senator.

Joe Rogan 1:02:34 You got 10 grand, you could buy a senator. 500 grand.

Narrator 1:02:36 Yeah. Does like everybody do that? Does BlackRock do that?

Joe Rogan 1:02:42 Everyone does that, he's saying. Doesn't matter who wins, they're in my pocket at this point. Here's Serge Varley. Wow.

Brian Simpson 1:02:49 What a loser.

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 Well these, these people always, it's always single people on dates.

Brian Simpson 1:02:55 But who talks, who talks like this on a first date?

Joe Rogan 1:02:57 Guys do if they wanna impress a girl. The guys do if they wanna let a girl know like, "Hey, they're a fucking big mover shaker in this corporation and this is how we do it. We run the world. We run the world."

Brian Simpson 1:03:07 Oh my god, I wanna be the man who runs the world.

Narrator 1:03:08 Government secrets don't impress women, do they?

Joe Rogan 1:03:11 Well that's not really government secrets, it's corporate secrets.

Narrator 1:03:14 Oh, I guess you're right.

Joe Rogan 1:03:14 It's, it's, it's them bu- using their influence and money to affect the political system. But it's, you know, it's, it's power. And, you know, when a guy can talk about how much power he has to a girl on a date, it's probably very intoxicating.

Brian Simpson 1:03:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:30 "Let her know, I'm running shit, baby."

Brian Simpson 1:03:31 Be like, "Hey girl, I have several moral failings, but I'm successful."

Narrator 1:03:34 I looked him up on, uh-

Joe Rogan 1:03:34 What's that?

Narrator 1:03:35 ... I googled his name.

Joe Rogan 1:03:36 Yep.

Narrator 1:03:36 And, uh, when you click this, uh, they removed it.

Joe Rogan 1:03:40 They removed it. Yeah, of course they removed it.

Narrator 1:03:41 But I also don't know when it got added.

Joe Rogan 1:03:43 Yeah, but of course they removed it. Like that, they always do that.

Brian Simpson 1:03:46 Yeah, he don't-

Joe Rogan 1:03:46 Whenever someone gets busted.

Brian Simpson 1:03:48 He definitely don't work for BlackRock no more.

Joe Rogan 1:03:49 Oh, he's in trouble.

Brian Simpson 1:03:51 Yeah, he's probably dead.

Joe Rogan 1:03:52 Yeah, he's probably at the Clinton's ranch.

Brian Simpson 1:03:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:03:54 Swinging from a tree with a shotgun wound in his asshole.

Brian Simpson 1:03:59 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:03:59 Yeah. He killed himself by shooting himself in the asshole. Yeah, it's, uh, not good for him. But they'll just disavow him and none of the major media networks will cover that. That's like where it gets interesting.

Brian Simpson 1:04:12 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:12 'Cause when something like this happens, whether it's a pharmaceutical company, he's done that with a lot of those people, like Pfizer, he got this guy talking about engineering viruses, and w- it never makes the news.

Brian Simpson 1:04:23 I'm gonna try that on my next date. "Hey girl, I bribe several public officials."

Joe Rogan 1:04:28 (laughs)

Brian Simpson 1:04:28 "Let's go back to my place."

Joe Rogan 1:04:29 Yeah, I, I think it's, you know, she's also asking the right questions. Like saying that she's curious.

Brian Simpson 1:04:36 Oh, right.

Joe Rogan 1:04:36 So he gets to show how much he knows, you know.

Brian Simpson 1:04:39 God, imagine thinking you having a good date and this girl just betrays, destroys your life. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:43 (laughs) Just destroys you. Puts you on a hit list somewhere.

Brian Simpson 1:04:46 She probably didn't even fuck him.

Joe Rogan 1:04:48 No, she didn't fuck him.

Brian Simpson 1:04:49 I know, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:50 That's, that's like, that's the whole thing.

Brian Simpson 1:04:52 She got a free dinner.

Joe Rogan 1:04:53 It's like he can't win yet. He's trying to win.

Brian Simpson 1:04:54 She got a free dinner, a hot scoop, and then destroyed your ass.

Joe Rogan 1:04:57 Oh, you get a couple of cocktails in someone like that, you know, and they don't, they don't think about what they're saying, next thing you know, you're giving up some serious global details.

Brian Simpson 1:05:07 But then that, won't that always be, I mean, he, that pretty much gives BlackRock a, a way out is like, "Oh, he was just trying to get laid. He don't know what he's talking about."

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 For sure, yeah. Oh, yeah, he could totally be full of shit. I mean, that's literally what