Joe Rogan Experience #2006 - Brian Simpson

1. 0:00 – 15:00

   (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast,…

   1. NANarrator0:00

      (drumbeats) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night. All day. (rock music)

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      ... Simpson, what's happening?

   5. BSBrian Simpson0:14

      Hell yeah, what's up, Joe?

   6. JRJoe Rogan0:15

      Good to see you, bro.

   7. BSBrian Simpson0:16

      Glad to be back. Can I plug my dates real quick-

   8. JRJoe Rogan0:18

      Yeah.

   9. BSBrian Simpson0:18

      ... before I forget? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be in, uh, Denver at Comedy Works on July 13th through the 15th. And Levity Live in West Nyack, New York, on July 20th through the 22nd. Get those tickets on the, uh, briansimpsoncomedy.com.

   10. JRJoe Rogan0:35

       Nice.

   11. BSBrian Simpson0:36

       Listen to the podcast, BS with Brian Simpson, it's pretty good.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:38

       Yeah, it's very good.

   13. BSBrian Simpson0:39

       Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:40

       You enjoy doing it?

   15. BSBrian Simpson0:41

       I love it, man. I love it. I feel like you, you need something outside of comedy, like when you start doing it for money.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       Mm-hmm.

   17. BSBrian Simpson0:47

       You know, you have to do something else so you don't, so you're not just doing com... You know?

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       Yeah. It also helps your brain just 'cause you're talking about stuff and thinking about stuff.

   19. BSBrian Simpson0:54

       Yeah, yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:55

       'Cause the subjects.

   21. BSBrian Simpson0:56

       Yeah. And I'm, and I'm getting better at it too. Just, just having to find your own energy every week...

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:01

       Yeah.

   23. BSBrian Simpson1:01

       ... or whatever. I like, I like, I just like having something to do.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:03

       Yeah. No, it's great. It's fun. It's a... I think the best tool for comics is the one-person podcast, which you, you do too.

   25. BSBrian Simpson1:11

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       It's like where one person gets to rant about things.

   27. BSBrian Simpson1:14

       Oh, yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:14

       Like you have guests on, but sometimes you just rant about things.

   29. BSBrian Simpson1:17

       Right, yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:17

       I think that is like where, where Burr comes up with a lot of his material, that's where Tim Dillon comes up with a lot of his material.
2. 15:00 – 30:00

   Oh, that's interesting. …

   1. NANarrator15:00

      you the whole shit, so you don't have to ... And I was like, "I'll watch this motherfucker all the time." He walked me through that whole shit. I was like, "Oh, this was way better than the movies."

   2. BSBrian Simpson15:06

      Oh, that's interesting.

   3. NANarrator15:07

      Yeah. But I think it would have just taken them longer 'cause they, you, they gotta make, they have to make the movies for people that don't read the comics.

   4. BSBrian Simpson15:14

      Right.

   5. NANarrator15:15

      So they can't always do everything that's in there, but ...

   6. BSBrian Simpson15:18

      That sounds better though.

   7. NANarrator15:19

      That soun- it's way better, dude.

   8. BSBrian Simpson15:20

      How much they have in the ... It's ... We're halfway through four now, I think, on here, of everything they've made, in order of timeline.

   9. NANarrator15:26

      And then they have all the stuff that's coming out?

   10. BSBrian Simpson15:28

       There's a bunch of stuff on the way too. Yeah, there's two new giant Avengers war movies coming.

   11. NANarrator15:32

       Yeah. Nah, we in w- no, we in phase five now. We p-

   12. BSBrian Simpson15:34

       Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're here. We're like-

   13. NANarrator15:36

       Isn't that crazy though?

   14. BSBrian Simpson15:37

       Here it sh-

   15. NANarrator15:38

       Oh, Blade?

   16. BSBrian Simpson15:39

       There's a Blade coming out later this year. Dar- Daredevil I've seen. X-Men, yeah, there's X-Men supposedly supposed to be coming out at some point. They're bringing them back into the fold.

   17. NANarrator15:47

       Wow. Oh, Captain America: New World Order?

   18. BSBrian Simpson15:49

       They just got the rights to Hulk back, so I'm expecting another Hulk movie to get announced soon.

   19. NANarrator15:53

       But Mark Ruffalo's not gonna be the Hulk again, right?

   20. BSBrian Simpson15:55

       I don't know.

   21. NANarrator15:56

       I think there's gonna be a new Hulk.

   22. BSBrian Simpson15:57

       Depends if they ... I don't ... I don't know. (laughs)

   23. NANarrator15:59

       I think Mark Ruffalo's bill- busy being a political activist or something.

   24. BSBrian Simpson16:02

       They could take the rights to his face-

   25. NANarrator16:04

       For real?

   26. BSBrian Simpson16:04

       ... and put somebody else in there, and now, you know.

   27. NANarrator16:05

       Oh, God.

   28. BSBrian Simpson16:06

       With deep faked Hulk.

   29. NANarrator16:07

       He's out there like, "Hulk recycle."

   30. BSBrian Simpson16:10

       (laughs)
3. 30:00 – 45:00

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan30:00

      That dude doesn't give a fuck.

   2. BSBrian Simpson30:02

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan30:02

      He doesn't give a fuck.

   4. BSBrian Simpson30:03

      Better him than me.

   5. JRJoe Rogan30:04

      (laughs)

   6. BSBrian Simpson30:05

      Thank God it's people like that though.

   7. JRJoe Rogan30:06

      Yeah. There's people like that out there, and they're so fucking entertaining to watch them fight.

   8. BSBrian Simpson30:11

      Yeah. And you know what as much as I made fun of it when it first came out? The Slap League.

   9. JRJoe Rogan30:16

      Ah, you like it?

   10. BSBrian Simpson30:17

       I like the highlights.

   11. JRJoe Rogan30:18

       (laughs)

   12. BSBrian Simpson30:18

       I, I haven't watched the full match, but I will... But some of the people in there are, are characters, man.

   13. JRJoe Rogan30:23

       (laughs) Yeah, for sure. If you're gonna get slapped in the face for a living, probably be a character. (laughs)

   14. BSBrian Simpson30:29

       Yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan30:30

       It's just-

   16. BSBrian Simpson30:30

       That-

   17. JRJoe Rogan30:30

       It's, it's designed for those clips.

   18. BSBrian Simpson30:32

       I think-

   19. JRJoe Rogan30:32

       It's perfect.

   20. BSBrian Simpson30:33

       I think Dana needs to spring off. They need to have a, they need to have a separate champ for front hand and backhand slaps.

   21. JRJoe Rogan30:40

       Ooh, backhand slap, hip slap.

   22. BSBrian Simpson30:41

       Yeah, they need a backhand slap champion.

   23. JRJoe Rogan30:44

       ... if you backhand slap, you gotta be dressed like a pimp.

   24. BSBrian Simpson30:47

       (laughs)

   25. JRJoe Rogan30:47

       You gotta have some fly velvet-

   26. BSBrian Simpson30:50

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan30:50

       ... suit on, something just beautiful and purple.

   28. BSBrian Simpson30:53

       Instead of a belt, it's just a cape for the champ.

   29. JRJoe Rogan30:55

       Yeah.

   30. BSBrian Simpson30:56

       Yeah.
4. 45:00 – 1:00:00

   And espe- especially if…

   1. JRJoe Rogan45:00

      you know, you're just wandering through the woods, "God, it's so beautiful out here, ha."

   2. BSBrian Simpson45:03

      And espe- especially if you don't know what bit you, that's a whole other thing.

   3. JRJoe Rogan45:05

      Oh, yeah. And you don't get to a hospital.

   4. BSBrian Simpson45:07

      Yeah, you gotta get to the hospital with the thing that killed you.

   5. JRJoe Rogan45:09

      Yeah, right.

   6. BSBrian Simpson45:09

      You gotta know what it was.

   7. JRJoe Rogan45:10

      Right.

   8. BSBrian Simpson45:11

      You know?

   9. JRJoe Rogan45:12

      I'm sure hospitals out here probably carry antivenom.

   10. BSBrian Simpson45:14

       Yeah?

   11. JRJoe Rogan45:14

       My dogs got bit a ton of times by rattlesnakes.

   12. BSBrian Simpson45:17

       Really?

   13. JRJoe Rogan45:17

       Yeah, my pit bulls. Back when I used to have pit bulls.

   14. BSBrian Simpson45:20

       Oh, yeah.

   15. JRJoe Rogan45:20

       Th- they, anything in that yard was dead.

   16. BSBrian Simpson45:22

       You know, I saw a video the other day, this might not be true, who knows what you learn off the internet, but, uh, but cats are like, quicker than snakes.

   17. JRJoe Rogan45:29

       Oh, yeah. They're way quicker.

   18. BSBrian Simpson45:30

       They're, they're way quicker. Their reflexes are way harder than a snake.

   19. JRJoe Rogan45:31

       There's a great video of a snake trying to bite a p- a kitten, like a young cat, and the cat's like, "Wap! Shut the fuck up with that."

   20. BSBrian Simpson45:39

       Yeah. The cat hit you two time. Wap, wap.

   21. JRJoe Rogan45:41

       Wap, wap.

   22. BSBrian Simpson45:41

       You my favorite, listen. (laughs) You know how like, if you, after you do comedy for so long, it's the real silly shit that makes you, gets at you.

   23. JRJoe Rogan45:49

       Yeah.

   24. BSBrian Simpson45:49

       It's not like the intricate shit, it's like the silly shit that makes me laugh. Tony Baker doing voiceovers of cat videos. Have you... You know Tony Baker?

   25. JRJoe Rogan45:58

       The comedian?

   26. BSBrian Simpson45:59

       Yeah.

   27. JRJoe Rogan45:59

       Yeah.

   28. BSBrian Simpson45:59

       He's one of the funniest motherfuckers alive and he does these voiceovers of animal videos and when he, when it's a cat thing, he, so he has all, he has all these different phrases but he, he, when a cat hits somebody, he calls it a skippity pat.

   29. JRJoe Rogan46:10

       (laughs)

   30. BSBrian Simpson46:11

       And he'll, and he'll, it's, bro, it's, you gotta find one of these jokes. Like, it's one of the, he, he-
5. 1:00:00 – 1:05:25

   Yeah. …

   1. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

   2. BSBrian Simpson1:00:00

      Yeah.

   3. JRJoe Rogan1:00:00

      One of, one of the guys is a billionaire.

   4. BSBrian Simpson1:00:01

      Well, it depends on which political party makes it their i- their issue.

   5. JRJoe Rogan1:00:05

      Yeah.

   6. BSBrian Simpson1:00:05

      If the, if the Republicans make it their issue, somebody gonna pay for that.

   7. JRJoe Rogan1:00:08

      What is happening with that Sam Bankman-Fried guy? I heard they dropped five of his charges.

   8. BSBrian Simpson1:00:13

      Mm.

   9. JRJoe Rogan1:00:14

      Which is wild. (laughs)

   10. BSBrian Simpson1:00:15

       I wonder how that happened.

   11. JRJoe Rogan1:00:16

       Which is wild. They just quietly did that while they're telling us about aliens. (laughs)

   12. BSBrian Simpson1:00:20

       Yeah, man. This is the, this is the end of, this is the end of the death of truth. This is the age where you can't tell what's true, you can't tell who's who.

   13. JRJoe Rogan1:00:28

       Yeah.

   14. BSBrian Simpson1:00:28

       Who's being bribed, who's not, who has an agenda.

   15. JRJoe Rogan1:00:31

       Right.

   16. BSBrian Simpson1:00:32

       So now, people are going based off, it's, it's like what you're likely to believe is whatever you want to be true.

   17. JRJoe Rogan1:00:39

       Did you see that, um, you know James O'Keefe left Project Veritas? He was the guy that does all those gotcha videos, investigative reporter videos where they-

   18. BSBrian Simpson1:00:47

       No, I don't under-

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:00:48

       ... undercover videos. He got a lot of 'em, uh, like... (sighs) I don't know what led him to leave Project Veritas, but he started his own group and his own group yesterday, he got some guy from...... this corporation talking about how easy it is to bribe politicians. So he's on a date with this-

   20. BSBrian Simpson1:01:05

       Oh, yeah, you sent me this, this Instagram thing.

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:01:07

       Yeah.

   22. BSBrian Simpson1:01:07

       Oh, yeah.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:01:08

       It's wild. It's wi- 'cause this guy, he's bl- he's like s- you know, you can get a senator for like 10 grand. Like he was, it's hot-

   24. BSBrian Simpson1:01:17

       Does he i- does he know he's being recorded? It doesn't look like he does.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:01:19

       No, he's on a date.

   26. NANarrator1:01:20

       At some point he says that that pr- he's like, "You might be an undercover reporter." But then he still keeps telling the girl stuff.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:01:25

       Yeah, 'cause he's trying to be funny. He's, he's... find that. G- he, I think he's trying to impress a girl. But that's what it always is. Like a lot of them are these chatty gay guys and they get some cute gay guy to go on dates with them.

   28. BSBrian Simpson1:01:37

       Yeah, but, but there's one part of the video where he's like at a job fair or something. He's just talking.

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:01:42

       Yeah, so this is it. Play it.

   30. NANarrator1:01:45

       Oh, I mean, oh, okay.

Episode duration: 3:13:58