Joe Rogan Experience #2118 - The Black Keys

Joe Rogan 0:00 (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

Narrator 0:04 The Joe Rogan Experience.

Dan Auerbach 0:06 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) There was a cop guarding our car behind the theater yesterday, and we asked him if it was okay if I smoked one. And he said, "You should probably wait." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 0:22 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 0:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:22 "You should probably wait," is a funny thing for a cop to say.

Dan Auerbach 0:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:27 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 0:27 (laughs) Yeah, it was tricky.

Dan Auerbach 0:29 (laughs) So stupid.

Joe Rogan 0:31 (inhales deeply)

Dan Auerbach 0:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 0:34 The dumbest of laws.

Dan Auerbach 0:35 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:36 Without a doubt, the number one dumbest of laws. There's noth- nothing that's even close to that one. That one's so stupid. While all the shit that is legal-

Dan Auerbach 0:45 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 0:46 ... you know?

Dan Auerbach 0:46 It's just a matter of time, I think.

Joe Rogan 0:50 We can only hope. It's legal in, like, 20 states or something now. Wasn't it like 19 or something, Jimmy?

Jamie Vernon 0:59 23.

Joe Rogan 1:00 23. 23 states. Ridiculous. But there's a lot of shit you can do here that you can't do anywhere else. You can have a zebra.

Dan Auerbach 1:06 You can have ... You can have a cult.

Joe Rogan 1:08 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 1:09 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:09 You can have a cult.

Dan Auerbach 1:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:10 You ca- ... You could have a zebra.

Dan Auerbach 1:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:12 You can, uh, conceal carry with no license.

Dan Auerbach 1:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:17 You don't have to have a concealed carry license here. It's constitutionally carry.

Dan Auerbach 1:20 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:20 Yeah. So leave them little old ladies alone.

Patrick Carney 1:22 How many states have that? How many states have that?

Joe Rogan 1:24 Quite a few now. Quite a few. Florida has it. Um, there's, uh ... I want to say there's 19 states that have that now. Ohio just passed it.

Dan Auerbach 1:32 Damn.

Joe Rogan 1:33 Well, you know, there's a lot of fucking crime going on out there. And there's some places where it's difficult to get a license to carry.

Dan Auerbach 1:40 Mm. I'm surprised, though, that in Ohio they allow that.

Joe Rogan 1:44 I think-

Dan Auerbach 1:45 Well, uh, yeah, I- I'm not familiar with any gun law, ever, at all. I just... I just don't have a gun. I have a pellet gun.

Joe Rogan 1:53 Wow. Have you ever shot a gun?

Dan Auerbach 1:58 Yeah. I did. Um, it scared the shit out of me. It's w- ... I mean, I was a boy scout and stuff.

Joe Rogan 2:02 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 2:02 But my friend bought a, like a Mauser. Is that what it's called? A World w- ... A German rifle.

Patrick Carney 2:07 Mm-hmm. Sure.

Dan Auerbach 2:08 I mean, this guy's kind of total character. He was ... He got into, like, World War II reenacting.

Joe Rogan 2:13 Oh, no. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 2:15 And he was a Nazi. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 2:16 Oh, no. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 2:18 And we're like, "What?"

Patrick Carney 2:19 Did he at least try to lose? (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 2:21 Well, I don't... I don't know, man. It was a whole different thing he would do that we n- ... He never really discussed with us. We bought this Mauser, and we took it to the range, indoor range. And, like, it had ... It... It... The pin, I guess, was replaced to fire only blanks. So we're trying to shoot it, and it was hitting the bullet but not firing. So the guy at the, uh, shooting range was like, "Here, just shoot this." And he handed us a, you know, like a 9 millimeter, or a .45 semi-automatic, you know, with the magazine, and he didn't really show us how to use it.

Patrick Carney 2:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 2:57 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 2:57 And I, you know, I emptied the thing into the range, and I pulled it, the trigger, and just, you know, I thought it was done. And I handed it to my friend like this.

Patrick Carney 3:04 (gasps)

Dan Auerbach 3:04 And he's like, "What the fuck?" And I was like, "What?" And he just pulled the thing, and there was a bullet (laughs) in the chamber. And I was-

Patrick Carney 3:10 Jesus.

Dan Auerbach 3:10 I... I left the room.

Patrick Carney 3:12 Yes.

Dan Auerbach 3:12 And I was, "I'm done."

Joe Rogan 3:13 Well, that's a scary thing. That-

Dan Auerbach 3:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:15 That makes sense. But someone should 100% show you.

Dan Auerbach 3:19 Yeah, that wasn't-

Patrick Carney 3:20 Well, let's be honest, though. Most of the time, it's like that.

Joe Rogan 3:23 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 3:23 The first time I ever fired a gun was, like, in a basement. Some guy had a gun, and he was shooting into, like, some homemade shooting range in the basement.

Joe Rogan 3:33 I fired a gun once when I was real young, but then, uh, when I moved to California, I bought a gun, and I went to the range.

Patrick Carney 3:40 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 3:40 And I remember the first time I went to the range, the sound is so terrifying. Like, when you walk into the ... And you hear the boom, boom, and you realize each one of those could end your life easy.

Dan Auerbach 3:53 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 3:53 And it's just happening all around you. And you're just, like, hoping these people next to you keep their shit together.

Dan Auerbach 3:59 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 3:59 'Cause, like, one of the ranges that I went to out in LA, it was a, like a rifle range and a long ... It had a bunch of different ranges on it. It's a big outdoor place. One guy just went there and shot himself, like, right after I'd been there.

Patrick Carney 4:13 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 4:13 I was there, like, a week before. Some guy just came there and decided this is g- ... A good place to commit suicide.

Dan Auerbach 4:19 Wonder why.

Joe Rogan 4:21 I don't know. I don't know why you would do that. Or maybe the th- ... Maybe he didn't plan on it.

Patrick Carney 4:25 (clears throat) Fuck.

Joe Rogan 4:25 And then once he got there, he started shooting guns. And he's like, "You know what? I'm done." (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 4:30 Yeah, seems like a weird place to say that.

Patrick Carney 4:32 What a fucking doofus.

Dan Auerbach 4:33 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 4:33 I mean, maybe he wanted everybody to know. I just-

Dan Auerbach 4:36 It was just low IQ.

Patrick Carney 4:36 You know the gun, uh, there... Some guns are like, like .357 or something. It's, like, scary, just 'cause like-

Joe Rogan 4:41 Mm-hmm.

Patrick Carney 4:41 It's, like, all jagged and fucking kicks back, and it's-

Joe Rogan 4:45 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 4:45 It's fucking scary.

Joe Rogan 4:47 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 4:47 The ones that really scare me, though, are the ones that are like, choo, choo, choo, smooth.

Joe Rogan 4:52 Mm-hmm.

Patrick Carney 4:52 No kickback really. That's kind of freaky.

Joe Rogan 4:55 If you shoot one of those speed guns, like a staccato, if you ever s- ... They're... They're like... There's a plant out here in Texas, we went to visit it, they're, they're so precisely machined. Their tolerances are so small. When that thing slides, it's like ch- ch- ch- ch- ch- ... You're shooting a 9 millimeter, and it feels like you're shooting a .22.

Patrick Carney 5:13 I know.

Joe Rogan 5:14 It's amazing, like, there's zero kick to it.

Dan Auerbach 5:17 Mm-hmm. I shot a musket in Boy Scouts.

Joe Rogan 5:20 No.

Dan Auerbach 5:21 Yeah. It just was like, just flame, like sparks just flying.

Joe Rogan 5:26 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 5:27 And it left a hole like this big in the target. But, um, my brother sent me some Ring camera footage from his ... He lives in, uh, West Cleveland, (laughs) and he's like, "Check this out." And I watched it, and it was, but ... And he's saying like, "Turn the volume up," and it was just fully automatic gun fire-

Patrick Carney 5:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 5:43 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 5:43 ... in the background. (laughs) And I was like, "What the fuck, dude?" (laughs) He's like, "Yeah, dude, it's an automatic assault rifle going off in my neighborhood last night." (laughs)

Patrick Carney 5:51 Jesus Christ.

Dan Auerbach 5:52 It sounded insane, dude.

Joe Rogan 5:54 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 5:54 Cleveland.

Joe Rogan 5:55 Well, it's not just Cleveland. That's out here, too. I was out at a friend of mine's house. You could hear in the background, ch-

Dan Auerbach 6:03 This was just, like, Rambo style.

Joe Rogan 6:06 Jesus.

Dan Auerbach 6:08 God, that, like... My, my friends and I went to go see, uh, whatever the first Rambo was that they made after, like, the 30-year hiatus.

Joe Rogan 6:16 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 6:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:17 The, the funny one?

Dan Auerbach 6:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:18 The new one?

Dan Auerbach 6:19 It's like, I don't know how if they made more than just that, but the last three minutes of it, he kills like 800 people or something. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:28 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 6:28 It's just so insane.

Joe Rogan 6:30 I heard the newest Rambo is preposterous.

Dan Auerbach 6:33 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:33 Joey Diaz said it's hilarious.

Dan Auerbach 6:35 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 6:36 He goes, "It's fucking hilarious. You gotta watch it. It's a masterpiece."

Dan Auerbach 6:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:40 Because it's just, it's fucking... You know, it's th- this crazy cartoonish good guy, bad guy thing from, like, the '80s, which looks so out of place. But he still makes those movies the same way.

Dan Auerbach 6:53 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:53 Like, if you go and watch-

Dan Auerbach 6:54 He didn't-

Joe Rogan 6:55 ... try to go watch, like-

Dan Auerbach 6:55 ... make any adjustments? (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:56 (laughs) No adjustments heard in the times.

Dan Auerbach 6:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 6:59 No evolution. If you go back and watch, like, those old movies, they're so ridiculous.

Dan Auerbach 7:04 Dude.

Joe Rogan 7:04 Go watch Red Dawn. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 7:06 That would be like if we made the exact same record right now-

Joe Rogan 7:08 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 7:08 ... that we did on the first record.

Joe Rogan 7:10 Yeah, but the problem is, like, m- movies are different than music, 'cause some old music is dope as fuck, right? Like-

Dan Auerbach 7:17 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 7:18 And then I guess some old movies are dope too.

Dan Auerbach 7:21 Some old movies. Hell yeah. I got, I got pretty into, like, uh, some s- later, more, more recent era Steven Seagal stuff, like five, six years ago. My friends and I-

Joe Rogan 7:33 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 7:33 ... would watch it because it's just so insanely bad and then-

Joe Rogan 7:36 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 7:37 And then Dan sent me a... He sent me a link to the Cum Town guys talking about- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 7:42 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 7:42 ... these same films.

Joe Rogan 7:43 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 7:43 And it was like, they summed it all up so perfectly, but it was basically like, you know, uh... (laughs) One of the funny things is, like, he's so old and his special forces team that he assembles all has to be kinda his age.

Joe Rogan 7:57 (screams)

Dan Auerbach 7:57 (laughs) Which mea- which means, which means their commander has to be, like, 80, you know what I mean?

Joe Rogan 8:02 Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

Dan Auerbach 8:03 So they show the commander, he has a white mustache.

Joe Rogan 8:06 That's hilarious.

Dan Auerbach 8:07 And old as fuck.

Joe Rogan 8:08 That's hilar- Tom Segura had a whole bit about Seagal.

Dan Auerbach 8:11 Dude, I heard a story about him from, from someone who would know. And they said that, like, this super agent, like, he was, he was the, the tra- personal trainer of this, like, super agent.

Joe Rogan 8:21 Michalovitz.

Dan Auerbach 8:21 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 8:22 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 8:22 Yeah. And that, like, that he had a bet with his- with another agent that he can make anybody famous. And they're like, "Well, how about your trainer?" (laughs) And, like, and, uh, I guess they asked him, like, he, you know, to learn a s- a martial art or something?

Joe Rogan 8:38 No, no, no.

Dan Auerbach 8:38 That's not it? Okay

Joe Rogan 8:39 That's not it, that's not it. No. Steven Seagal is a legit Aikido specialist.

Dan Auerbach 8:43 Right. And that's, like, the art-

Joe Rogan 8:44 Legit.

Dan Auerbach 8:44 That's the art of, like, de- de-arming someone? Is that what it is?

Joe Rogan 8:47 It was, di- it was invented for samurai to fight against someone with a sword.

Dan Auerbach 8:52 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:53 So it's all about, like, a redistribution of energy. It's all about, "I commit to you."

Dan Auerbach 8:58 Right.

Joe Rogan 8:59 "And then you throw me to the ground." The problem with that is if someone doesn't commit, someone just fucking grabs you, wrestles you. You're a division one wrestler against an Aikido guy-

Dan Auerbach 9:08 You're done.

Joe Rogan 9:09 He has, uh, uh, the r- Aikido guy has zero chance. There's not a chance in hell you're gonna stop Daniel Cormier from taking you down. It is, there's zero chance.

Dan Auerbach 9:17 That's the other, that's the-

Joe Rogan 9:18 Khamzat Chimaev grabs you, you're going for a ride 100% of the time.

Dan Auerbach 9:22 (laughs) That's the other fucking awesome thing too that Seagal the old, in the, in the n- like later films where he doesn't even get up out of the chair. He just-

Joe Rogan 9:29 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 9:29 ... does the shit and just-

Joe Rogan 9:30 Fights people in the sitting down position. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 9:30 ... throws people down. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:32 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 9:32 Yeah. They come at him and he just fucking-

Joe Rogan 9:35 "Is he a hot dog?" So this is Seagal when he was younger. This is... Seagal was the first American to run a dojo in Japan.

Dan Auerbach 9:43 Just-

Joe Rogan 9:43 Now, this is later.

Dan Auerbach 9:44 Okay.

Joe Rogan 9:45 This is actually later because, though, he's already got wacky hair.

Dan Auerbach 9:47 Just his posture. He's so disrespectful. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 9:50 Yeah. Well, it's the whole idea behind him is that he was an American who spoke Japanese, who's married to a Japanese woman, and he ran a dojo in, in Tokyo, or, uh, somewhere in Japan. But it, it's, it was very unusual for an American to be running a dojo. But I think it was because he married the woman.

Dan Auerbach 10:10 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:10 It's ridiculous.

Dan Auerbach 10:11 With the, the, the, the stuff where he's like, uh, have you seen the clips of him in Belarus eating the carrots and stuff? (laughs) With the, like-

Joe Rogan 10:19 He's eating carrots?

Dan Auerbach 10:20 There's like, uh, some... Yeah, yeah. He's, like, hanging out with the president or dictator of Belarus, but (laughs) it's amazing.

Joe Rogan 10:27 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 10:27 Amazing thing. Jamie, find the older footage. There it is.

Joe Rogan 10:30 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 10:31 Older footage. This is it.

Joe Rogan 10:32 Just eating carrots?

Dan Auerbach 10:33 Oh, watch this fr- you know, kinda how he looks.

Joe Rogan 10:35 Look at the way he dresses up, uh.

Dan Auerbach 10:37 Watch this.

Joe Rogan 10:38 Thank you. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 10:41 (laughs) It's so insane.

Joe Rogan 10:42 His hair is insane.

Dan Auerbach 10:44 And of course someone edited that, so he's like deep throating the carrot. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 10:47 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 10:49 And he just checks... He lo- Watch, he makes a good, like, tit joke about the melons here in a second.

Jamie Vernon 10:53 (Russian)

Dan Auerbach 10:54 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 11:00 Nice.

Dan Auerbach 11:00 (laughs) That's nice.

Jamie Vernon 11:02 (Russian)

Joe Rogan 11:05 That's the weird thing about, like, old actors that, like, are kinda at the end of the journey and they start r- appearing in foreign countries and meeting people. "I want to meet Steven Seagal."

Dan Auerbach 11:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:16 "Bring him to me."

Dan Auerbach 11:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:17 And then all of a sudden he's a Russian citizen.

Dan Auerbach 11:19 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:19 He's got a passport in Russia, like no bullshit.

Dan Auerbach 11:22 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 11:22 Yeah, he's a Russian citizen.

Dan Auerbach 11:23 Right. I know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:25 "Mr. Putin's always been amazing to me."

Dan Auerbach 11:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:29 He ha- there's a weird thing with this is... So this is him when he was young. So this is before the movie days. This is him teaching Aikido.

Dan Auerbach 11:38 This is cool.

Joe Rogan 11:39 This is much better, right? But it's also not real.

Dan Auerbach 11:42 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 11:42 Again, like, that shit doesn't work. It's like, i- if you learn Aikida you can do some of those things.

Dan Auerbach 11:49 Look at that. That was such bullshit. He just threw the guy behind his back. Well, the clips from, like, the last couple years when he's doing it, it, they just... It, it looks, you know, preposterous really.

Joe Rogan 11:58 It's a lot of preposterousness to Aikido because the people are playing along with it. They're going along with it.

Dan Auerbach 12:02 Right.

Joe Rogan 12:02 So that's real. It's also, you know, it's just fucking... That, that's kind of martial art is like... It's not-

Dan Auerbach 12:10 It's like-

Joe Rogan 12:10 You don't really know how to fight.... this, it's like learning h- a language, but you only learn, like, conjunctions. You only learn, like, and's and but's and the, and you learn a couple of vowels.

Dan Auerbach 12:22 So, it's how we speak Spanish. (laughs)

Guest 12:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:24 It's worse. It's worse. It's like, it's, you, you, you just can't j- only do that.

Dan Auerbach 12:31 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:31 If you wanna learn how to do that for funsies-

Dan Auerbach 12:34 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 12:34 ... yeah, it's fun to do. But don't think y- that this is gonna really work.

Dan Auerbach 12:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 12:39 There's shit that they didn't know-

Guest 12:40 They know.

Joe Rogan 12:40 ... they just didn't know.

Guest 12:41 It fucking worked for him.

Joe Rogan 12:42 Well, it would work if someone had a sword. The thing is, like, the, the Japanese samurai, they knew how to fight, and then that would be an art that they would train in just to learn how to disarm sword-carrying weapon, you know, like, some- someone who's got something, a spear or a w- a, some-

Dan Auerbach 12:57 Oh, God.

Joe Rogan 12:57 ... something that's gonna get you. You lost your sword in battle, there has to be a strategy for that, so the Japanese came up with Aikido.

Dan Auerbach 13:04 There's this dude, uh, that makes these, he makes these dioramas, like, that are ab- like, insane detail. And, uh, a- the whole time, he's, like, telling a story, and it's funny as hell. I forget his name. It's something Fingers. But he does one of Steven Seagal, and it's, like, depicting this scene that apparently happened where Steven Seagal had told some legendary martial art artist guy, uh, that he, he couldn't be choked out.

Joe Rogan 13:31 Gene LeBell, who told the story-

Dan Auerbach 13:33 Yeah, almost. (laughs) The, the shit.

Joe Rogan 13:34 ... on my podcast. Oh, that's hilarious.

Dan Auerbach 13:35 So he does these things, these... And yeah, right, well p- apparently, he, he choked him out instantly, and he shit his pants.

Joe Rogan 13:44 Gene told the story on the podcast.

Dan Auerbach 13:45 Oh, really? Okay.

Joe Rogan 13:46 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 13:47 But this is, this guy's true story?

Guest 13:49 Is he?

Joe Rogan 13:49 It's a true story. Gene's a le- he's a legend. Gene LeBell was, uh, he was a, he was a judo champion, and he was, like, one of the first guys to do mixed martial arts fights. Like, he had a fight with a boxer, like, way, way back in the day, and just strangled this boxer-

Guest 14:07 (coughs)

Dan Auerbach 14:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:08 ... and put him to sleep, just... But he made the boxer wear a gi, I think. Pretty sure. And he wore a gi too. Like, there b- there were some weird funky rules. The boxer had the boxing gloves on, he didn't, and he just beat the shit outta the dude. But he was the guy that also trained Bruce Lee. He taught Bruce Lee-

Dan Auerbach 14:23 Okay.

Joe Rogan 14:23 ... about grappling. Like, Bruce Lee had, you know, he was doing these movies, and it was a little unrealistic, like some of the things, and Gene LeBell was like, "Let me show you what I can do to you." He just kinda grabs Bruce Lee-

Dan Auerbach 14:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:35 ... and fucking hoists him over his head, and is like, "Listen." (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 14:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 14:39 "Settle down." Like, "Let's not pretend you're the baddest motherfucker on Earth."

Guest 14:44 But d- does that shit look good in movies, though?

Joe Rogan 14:46 It's true though.

Guest 14:46 That kind of fighting?

Joe Rogan 14:47 No. Well, this is him fighting this boxer dude. Does it look like the boxer had gloves? It doesn't, does it? Yeah, he does. He's got small gloves. So, he's g- what he's ge- got essentially on are bag gloves, and Gene just threw him to the ground and fucking strangled him.

Dan Auerbach 14:59 Hold over him.

Joe Rogan 14:59 He just choked him to sleep.

Dan Auerbach 15:00 Wow.

Joe Rogan 15:02 But Gene's a gorilla. I mean, that, that dude's a, he's a tank of a man. You know, even as an old man, some dudes in his neighborhood, uh, were fucking with someone's car, and, uh, he said, "Hey, get the fuck outta here," and they were like, "Fuck you, old man." He's like, "Okay." (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 15:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:17 And he just beat the shit out of the three of them. It seemed as like at least two guys. I, I don't remember the, the entire story, but some poor fucking idiot wound up-

Dan Auerbach 15:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:28 ... messing with literally the wrong old man.

Dan Auerbach 15:30 The one wrong-

Joe Rogan 15:31 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 15:31 ... old guy to fuck with.

Joe Rogan 15:32 I hope I didn't fuck that story up. But he's, uh, the guy that choked Seagal out. So, Cho- Seagal was, like, claiming that he couldn't be choked, and his move was when you put the rear naked choke on, he hits you in the balls. And th- the idea that you're gonna do that to Gene LeBell, like, you don't think he's been hit in the balls before?

Dan Auerbach 15:49 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:50 Getting hit in the balls sucks, but it, it's, it doesn't, like, knock you out. It just sucks. Like, you can't-

Guest 15:56 It makes your grip even harder around the neck.

Dan Auerbach 15:59 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 15:59 And you, you also have, like, a three-second window before it really sucks.

Dan Auerbach 16:03 (laughs) Geez.

Joe Rogan 16:04 You know? Like, the delayed reaction of getting kicked in the balls? You know, there's, there's that weird moment where you get hit. You're like, "Oh, no, here it comes. Ah!" And by that time, Gene's already put you to sleep.

Guest 16:16 I never got fully kicked there.

Joe Rogan 16:18 Never?

Guest 16:19 Only, like-

Dan Auerbach 16:20 Oh.

Guest 16:20 ... grazed.

Joe Rogan 16:22 Have you ever kicked balls?

Dan Auerbach 16:23 Oh, oh, yeah. I mean, I've got three brothers, so there's a lot-

Joe Rogan 16:25 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 16:25 ... of ball kicking going on. (laughs)

Guest 16:28 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:28 Dude, I just realized what your shirt says. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 16:31 Oh, yeah. (laughs)

Guest 16:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:34 Harvard University with a photo of the Unabomber.

Dan Auerbach 16:37 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:37 Oh my God.

Guest 16:38 My friend-

Dan Auerbach 16:39 My friend Brendan makes these.

Joe Rogan 16:40 That's amazing.

Dan Auerbach 16:41 I know. That's the best thing about the shirt is it takes, like, an hour for someone to notice.

Guest 16:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 16:45 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 16:45 It's on there.

Joe Rogan 16:45 I didn't even read it before. I was just saying hi, and then I realized... That fucking story is the craziest. Did you see that Netflix documentary on the Unabomber?

Guest 16:53 Mm, no.

Dan Auerbach 16:53 I didn't.

Joe Rogan 16:54 Oh, it's nuts, man. When he was a baby, he had some sort of a disease, and so they had to take him to a hospital, and he wasn't allowed to have contact with people.

Dan Auerbach 17:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 17:04 So his parents weren't allowed to see him. No one was allowed to see him, and I, I think it was for, like, months.

Dan Auerbach 17:08 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 17:09 And-

Guest 17:09 Wow.

Joe Rogan 17:10 ... for a baby to not be touched for months-

Dan Auerbach 17:12 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 17:13 ... just cracks you, cracks you. So then this poor fuck goes to Harvard-

Dan Auerbach 17:18 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:18 ... and they enroll him in the LSD studies.

Dan Auerbach 17:20 (laughs) Oh my Go-

Joe Rogan 17:21 And they, their goal is to see what, like, constant humiliation will do to a person while you're dosing 'em up with LSD.

Dan Auerbach 17:28 (laughs) Like fucking-

Joe Rogan 17:29 So, they're all mean to him, and they're, like, humiliating him, and then this guy decides to go to Berkeley to become a professor to make enough money so he can kill everyone.

Dan Auerbach 17:39 (laughs) Insane, dude.

Joe Rogan 17:42 (laughs) And just goes and lives in the woods.

Dan Auerbach 17:44 Those LSD experiments are hard to believe.

Joe Rogan 17:47 Hard to believe.

Dan Auerbach 17:48 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:48 Yeah. Well, I wonder what's going on right now. If, if they were doing that then, do they just say, "Let's just stop"?

Dan Auerbach 17:56 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 17:57 Do you d- I mean, there's probably experiments that are going on right now that we're gonna find out about 20 years from now.

Dan Auerbach 18:03 Oh, for sure.

Guest 18:03 Absolutely.

Joe Rogan 18:04 For sure, right?

Guest 18:05 Oh, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 18:06 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 18:06 There's no way.

Dan Auerbach 18:07 I was talking to, um, uh, this chick at a party the other day, and, uh, she's talking about how she has a house on Shelter Island off of Long Island, and how this really weird...... animal was fucking with her dog and she was describing it (laughs) and I was like, "It sounds like, it sounds like the Montauk Monster." I was like... (laughs) She had, like, a beak and, like, wallaby legs. And it... But she, she... And I was like... I was like, "You know there's that Plum Island, like, research facility right near where your house is?" (laughs) And she's like, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Joe Rogan 18:40 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 18:40 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 18:40 I was like, "I don't know. I mean, there's this-"

Joe Rogan 18:42 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 18:42 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 18:42 "... Center for Disease Control has some weird island that they ha- that, you know."

Joe Rogan 18:46 Well, they do experiments out there? (clears throat)

Dan Auerbach 18:48 I don't know. I mean, I, I w-

Patrick Carney 18:49 It looks like a mutant platypus.

Joe Rogan 18:51 Bro, imagine if they created an animal and just said, "Let's just let it loose and see long before people find it."

Dan Auerbach 18:56 I got a house in South Carolina and, um, it's like a second home. And I started getting into, like, looking at, like, old houses, like old plantation houses to see... I would... Like, when they would come up for sale, I would go look just to see, like, what... You know, 'cause I was into the history. And I looked at this one that was on Saint Helena Island. Uh, and it was, it was really, you know, cool. It was a house from 1795. (clears throat) Um, but as I was driving back, I was kind of like, uh, with the realtor I was looking around. I was like... I realized there's this island right next to the, to this place called Morgan Island. Have you heard of this place?

Joe Rogan 19:33 No.

Dan Auerbach 19:34 (laughs) It's like, you know, five miles from where I was just at. It's filled up with rhesus monkeys that all have herpes. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 19:42 Oh, I have heard of this.

Joe Rogan 19:44 What?

Dan Auerbach 19:45 That they...

Patrick Carney 19:46 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 19:46 They feed them by, like, dropping shit from a helicopter. Like, if-

Joe Rogan 19:50 What the fuck are you talking about?

Dan Auerbach 19:50 If you go to the island, you have to, like, you know, quarantine for months 'cause there's, like, these viruses that are just rapidly mutating on the island.

Joe Rogan 19:59 Oh, my God.

Dan Auerbach 20:00 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:01 Bro, nothing good happens on islands.

Patrick Carney 20:03 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 20:03 I'm just like... (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:04 If someone has a private island-

Dan Auerbach 20:06 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:06 ... there's nothing good happening on that island.

Patrick Carney 20:09 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 20:09 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:09 Once you have your own island, that's like you're off the deep end.

Dan Auerbach 20:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:13 (laughs) You know what I mean?

Dan Auerbach 20:14 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:15 Like, it... Any story sounds so much sketchier if it's on an island.

Dan Auerbach 20:20 Well, maybe the Unabomber would have been more chill if he had a island versus a cabin.

Joe Rogan 20:25 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 20:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:27 He probably would just be shooting people from the island.

Patrick Carney 20:28 Just messages in a bottle.

Dan Auerbach 20:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:30 Long-range rifle from the island.

Dan Auerbach 20:32 You could've just intercepted all of his packages. He would never know.

Joe Rogan 20:36 (laughs) Right.

Dan Auerbach 20:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:37 "Hey, uh, Ted's sending out packages."

Dan Auerbach 20:39 Yeah. "Ted's sending out packages." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 20:42 "Keep an eye out for 'em."

Dan Auerbach 20:42 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 20:42 It's funny that his brother recognized that it was him.

Dan Auerbach 20:46 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:46 His brother read the manifesto and go, "Oh, I know who the fuck this is."

Dan Auerbach 20:49 He must have some, like, really... Some vocal tic that just drives his brother, you know, drove him, like, you know, drove him nuts and he's like, "Fuck."

Joe Rogan 20:57 Well, his brother was a part of the documentary.

Dan Auerbach 20:59 Right.

Joe Rogan 20:59 His brother recognized what happened to him.

Dan Auerbach 21:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:02 You know, that his brother knew about the childhood, uh, the, the medical issue that he had where they couldn't touch him for months. So his brother knew he was fucked from-

Dan Auerbach 21:12 Well, see, if they chose him to, like, humiliate on LSD, there must've been-

Joe Rogan 21:15 (clears throat)

Dan Auerbach 21:15 ... someone that they, like, praised endlessly-

Joe Rogan 21:18 Right.

Dan Auerbach 21:18 ... on LSD. And maybe that's, like, where-

Joe Rogan 21:20 That's Manson.

Dan Auerbach 21:21 That's... Yeah, exactly.

Joe Rogan 21:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 21:22 That's where you get the cult leader. That's David Koresh-

Joe Rogan 21:24 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 21:24 ... and Manson.

Joe Rogan 21:26 Well, they definitely did something with Manson, too. Did you ever read that book Chaos by Tom O'Neill? Have you heard of it?

Dan Auerbach 21:31 I, I have it, but I haven't read it. I buy a lot of books that I don't read.

Patrick Carney 21:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 21:34 It's, uh, good on tape if you wanna just listen to it on tape-

Dan Auerbach 21:36 Okay, that's better idea.

Joe Rogan 21:37 ... which makes it way easier.

Dan Auerbach 21:38 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 21:38 It's a bananas book. And the guy who wrote it is my friend's neighbor. So my friend Greg, uh, who I started comedy with, Greg Fitzsevens, was neighbors with this guy in New York and then neighbors with him in Venice. And this guy has been writing this one fucking story for 20 years. He got hired to write it as, like, a anniversary piece on the death... The, the Manson murders. And as he's writing, he's like, "There's so much wrong with this story." And so he goes into this deep investigation of it, and he fucking becomes obsessed. For 20 years, this guy can't finish publishing this story. And then it becomes a book and a book deal, and then they bring in an editor, and finally the piece... He's got enough for another book, he said. But it's all about the CIA. Like, the CIA met Manson when he was in prison, the same guys that met Jack Ruby after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald.

Dan Auerbach 22:28 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 22:28 And they taught Manson, essentially, how to run a cult. They gave him LSD. They dosed him. They told him... Like, many times, Manson apparently would not take the LSD, but he would give it to everybody else. And then while they're on acid, he's manipulating them-

Dan Auerbach 22:44 Right.

Joe Rogan 22:44 ... and then turned them into murderers. And the whole plan was just to... They were trying to attack the antiwar movement and the best way to do it was, like, instead of making this hippie movement, like, "This beautiful thing we should all embrace, love and peace," let's make it violent psychos that cut babies out of pregnant women-

Dan Auerbach 23:04 Right.

Joe Rogan 23:04 ... and write "pig" on the wall with their blood. Let's do that. And so they did that, and it worked.

Dan Auerbach 23:11 (laughs) It's insane. I mean-

Joe Rogan 23:13 It's insane.

Dan Auerbach 23:14 Uh-

Joe Rogan 23:14 And that's what they used to st- pass that Psychedelics Act in 1970. That's those same tactics. That's... The, the whole idea was stop the antiwar movement, stop the civil rights movement.

Patrick Carney 23:24 (clears throat)

Dan Auerbach 23:25 Um-

Joe Rogan 23:26 It's crazy. (laughs) This is our government.

Dan Auerbach 23:28 We worked at a studio, uh, last year in, um, in Los Angeles that, uh, apparently Manson recorded a bunch of stuff at.

Joe Rogan 23:38 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 23:38 Um, and it was crazy because this studio, it's called Valentine Studios, uh, this guy built it, like, in the early '60s. He was a, he was a Capitol Records producer, and he built his own studio so he could do shit outside of Capitol Records. And I guess he, you know, he was into jazz and, like, I guess-

Patrick Carney 23:56 Capitol Records is famous, world-famous. It's got these echo chambers that are very... Unique to it-

Dan Auerbach 24:01 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 24:01 ... and very special. And he had the blueprints for the originals and just created copies-

Joe Rogan 24:06 Oh, wow.

Patrick Carney 24:07 ... of the studio.

Dan Auerbach 24:08 And apparently, like, as the music scene turned more to rock, like, the guy just got completely fed up with... 'Cause there, he was used to, like, cutting four songs in a day, and now they've got, like, a bunch of stoners working on, like-

Joe Rogan 24:18 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 24:18 ... one guitar solo for eight hours. So apparently, he just, like, mothballed the place in the early '70s.... and, like, used it as a storage facility for a... He was, he was into cars. He was into those little Nash Metropolitan cars.

Joe Rogan 24:32 Oh.

Dan Auerbach 24:33 So, like, it had all these Nash parts. And then the guy passed away and someone got, got wind that the studio was there. And so this dude, Nick, like cleaned it all out. So when you go to the studio, it looks exactly like it did in like 1969.

Joe Rogan 24:47 That's insane.

Dan Auerbach 24:48 Wow.

Joe Rogan 24:49 Time capsule.

Dan Auerbach 24:49 So we were in, we were in the room, and I'm sure it looked exactly the same way as it did when Manson was in there.

Joe Rogan 24:54 Oh, yeah. Have we ever played Manson's music?

Jamie Vernon 24:57 Yeah, I think once.

Dan Auerbach 24:59 Can we play it?

Jamie Vernon 25:01 Probably.

Joe Rogan 25:01 Would that, would that be a problem with Spotify? There's no way that someone owns a copyright to Manson's music.

Jamie Vernon 25:05 100% someone owns a copyright.

Dan Auerbach 25:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:06 (laughs)

Jamie Vernon 25:07 Definitely what you wouldn't want a copyright to.

Dan Auerbach 25:10 Did, did, did Gun- did Guns N' Roses put a... Did they put a cover of one of his songs o- on, uh, The Spaghetti Incident album?

Joe Rogan 25:17 Did they? I don't know.

Dan Auerbach 25:18 I think they might've. I know that a lot of punk rock guys became millionaires because of that, 'cause it's all punk covers. He kind of... He's-

Joe Rogan 25:26 No shit.

Dan Auerbach 25:27 They funded the retirement fund for a lot of the punk guys.

Joe Rogan 25:31 Charles Manson, Guns N' Roses.

Dan Auerbach 25:33 Yeah.

Jamie Vernon 25:33 They don't care about you.

Joe Rogan 25:35 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 25:36 That's it.

Jamie Vernon 25:36 I don't-

Dan Auerbach 25:36 That would have generated...

Jamie Vernon 25:37 I don't think they care about you either. They don't give a shit.

Joe Rogan 25:52 Yeah, yeah. (laughs) Boy.

Dan Auerbach 25:54 (laughs) Pretty great stuff.

Joe Rogan 25:56 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 25:56 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 25:57 But that's Guns N' Roses covering it. I wonder what the real album sounded like.

Dan Auerbach 26:02 Dude, we opened for them a couple months ago.

Joe Rogan 26:05 Guns N' Roses?

Dan Auerbach 26:05 Uh-huh, at the Hollywood Bowl. And like, the whole deal was like their friend came to us and was like, "This would be cool. Like, they'll play for like an hour and a half. You'll play for an hour. You'll go on at like 7:30."

Joe Rogan 26:18 Neither of us have ever played the Bowl.

Dan Auerbach 26:20 Yeah, so that... It was like... It was, it was perfect. Then we show... We fly over to LA and we get... Like, our set time is 6:00 PM.

Joe Rogan 26:27 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 26:27 Like, literally we're playing to like a dude in the front eating a hot dog.

Joe Rogan 26:32 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 26:32 (laughs) Like, it's just so insane. And then-

Joe Rogan 26:35 And then they played for three hours.

Dan Auerbach 26:36 And they played for three hours, but the craziest part of the whole thing was that, uh, I lit a cigarette out backstage and there was no smoking, uh, by our smoking ban. (laughs) They were like, you know, "Smoke is going into the Slash's thing." So, I was just... I thought it was funny that the guy is like known for the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Joe Rogan 27:00 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 27:00 It's like, "Absolutely no smoking around here." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 27:04 But does he... But did he quit and then like-

Dan Auerbach 27:06 I don't know.

Joe Rogan 27:06 ... now he's got this thing?

Dan Auerbach 27:06 I don't know. We didn't get to meet them. Um...

Joe Rogan 27:08 You didn't meet them?

Dan Auerbach 27:09 No.

Joe Rogan 27:10 What?

Dan Auerbach 27:11 I know, it was weird.

Joe Rogan 27:13 That's crazy.

Dan Auerbach 27:15 I know.

Joe Rogan 27:16 Uh-huh. I met Axl Rose in a restaurant in Greece, just randomly. I was eating at this restaurant and my friend comes by and goes, "That fucking Axl Rose is sitting over there." I'm like, "Shit, we're gonna have to walk by him." Uh, it was... It's that weird thing where you say hi to someone, you don't know if they know who you are.

Dan Auerbach 27:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:30 But luckily he did.

Dan Auerbach 27:31 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:31 And then he invited me to the show. And-

Dan Auerbach 27:32 I'm sure he's, I'm sure he's a cool guy.

Joe Rogan 27:34 He's a cool guy. I met him one time. He's, he's real cool. He's very cool. But he, you know, he gets bothered a lot. So like...

Dan Auerbach 27:40 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:40 ... I was worried that I was gonna bother him, you know, 'cause my friend had bothered him already.

Dan Auerbach 27:45 (laughs) Um.

Joe Rogan 27:46 And he... My friend got shooed.

Dan Auerbach 27:48 We were at a restaurant this past summer in, uh, Madrid. We were playing a festival and we, we-

Joe Rogan 27:54 We just picked this random restaurant.

Dan Auerbach 27:56 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 27:56 For lunch.

Dan Auerbach 27:57 It was like five o'clock and we're sitting... We got sat next to Flea and John Frusciante. (laughs) And we were listening-

Joe Rogan 28:04 Wow. Right next to their table. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 28:06 Right next to them and we... You know, I was like, "Should we..." They were sitting there having like the most nerdy conversation like-

Joe Rogan 28:11 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 28:11 ... "If you augment the seventh um..."

Joe Rogan 28:14 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 28:14 And we were just like... (laughs) And I'm like, "Oh my God, they are just such nerds."

Joe Rogan 28:20 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 28:20 But, um, I, I was like, "I'm gonna go say what's up." I went over and I shook Flea's hand and then I went to go shake John Frusciante's hand. He's like, "I don't do that." And then Flea was like, "Excuse me, I'm gonna go wash my hands." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:32 (laughs) What?

Dan Auerbach 28:33 And they're like, "We're germophobes." And I was like, "Aren't these guys like legendary, like-"

Joe Rogan 28:37 Freaks.

Dan Auerbach 28:37 "... ex-heroin addicts?" (laughs)

Joe Rogan 28:40 Yeah. What?

Dan Auerbach 28:41 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:42 Germophobes? They don't shake hands?

Dan Auerbach 28:45 That... No, no.

Joe Rogan 28:47 That always weirds me out, like the Howie Mandel thing.

Dan Auerbach 28:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 28:49 He weirds me out. Does he bump knuckles still? I don't even know if he bumps knuckles. Yeah, I've seen him. For a while he was like... I think maybe he bumps knuckles. I told him, I go, "Next time I see you motherfucker, I'm gonna hug you."

Dan Auerbach 29:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:01 "You're not gonna be able to stop me."

Dan Auerbach 29:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:03 "I'm gonna hug you. This is ridiculous." (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 29:04 Maybe we need to invent a new form of greeting each other.

Joe Rogan 29:08 Well, the handshake is fine. It's a good one. You know why it's good? Because if you hang on too long, it's weird.

Dan Auerbach 29:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:16 That's why it's good.

Dan Auerbach 29:17 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:17 'Cause it's like an intimate gesture. There's a gesture, we're touching skin, but only for a little bit. 'Cause if we ha-... You know, if someone ha-... A handshake for too long, gets odd.

Dan Auerbach 29:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 29:27 It gets a little odd. I like how Trump, how Trump does the thing where he just pulls everybody in. Dude, he got me. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 29:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:32 That motherfucker got me. Let me tell you something, I was ready for it the first time.

Dan Auerbach 29:35 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:35 The first time I met him, first of all, he has normal size hands.

Dan Auerbach 29:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:38 I have big hands. He has regular size hands. He's a big guy. So, um, I was ready. I knew I was gonna meet him.

Dan Auerbach 29:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 29:46 The first time I met him-

Dan Auerbach 29:47 Power stance.

Joe Rogan 29:47 ... he came over, just put his hands on my shoulders like, "You do, you do a great job." But I was sitting, you know, I was sitting. So this time I actually stood up, we made eye contact. I said, "How you doing, sir?" I shook his hand, I'm like, "Oh, I know what he's about to do." So I fucking anchored myself.

Dan Auerbach 30:01 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:01 I'm like, "Not today, son."

Dan Auerbach 30:03 Core strength.

Joe Rogan 30:03 "Not today. Would you give me a nice pull?" And I'm like... But we're hanging out for a while. So then the next time I met him, he was at a UFC as well and- Did you try to pull? Dude, I'll tell you what happened. Okay. I'm sitting down and he looks at me and he goes like this and he gets up- (laughs) ... starts walking towards me. And I, I get up and I reach over with my hand and he- (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 30:23 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:24 And I'm over the table.

Guest 30:25 ... he got you. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:25 I'm over... He really fucking got me.

Guest 30:27 He got you.

Joe Rogan 30:28 He got me good. He got me good.

Guest 30:29 Fucking Aikido.

Joe Rogan 30:29 He got me good. I'm like, this motherfucker learns from his mistakes.

Guest 30:32 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:34 He got me.

Guest 30:34 He used your energy against you.

Dan Auerbach 30:36 Oh, here goes.

Joe Rogan 30:37 Is this the time where he gets me?

Dan Auerbach 30:38 Yeah, I don't know.

Joe Rogan 30:39 Let me see. No, this is the time where he tried. He tried to get me. He's hanging on for a while. See, look,

Guest 30:46 Look at you, dude. You're shaking a little bit.

Joe Rogan 30:47 I'm anchored.

Guest 30:48 You're shaking a little bit. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:49 I'm anchored. I'm anchored, but, well, I'm resisting.

Guest 30:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:50 There's a lot going on there.

Dan Auerbach 30:51 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:51 You know who got mad at me? Jack White. (people screaming) Got mad at me that I shook Trump's hand.

Guest 30:55 Oh. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:56 So I'm like, "Stop crying."

Dan Auerbach 30:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 30:58 Settle down and stop crying. (laughs)

Guest 30:59 I saw that.

Joe Rogan 31:01 Do you think that's...

Dan Auerbach 31:03 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:03 Think that's... Would you be okay if I shook Biden's hand?

Dan Auerbach 31:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:07 Are you paying attention?

Guest 31:08 He might crush his fucking fingers.

Joe Rogan 31:11 Oh, he'd try to get you though, with those fucking bony old broomstick hands.

Guest 31:15 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:15 "Oh, I'll tell you right when I was younger, I'd fucking shook the shit outta your hand."

Guest 31:21 Just come up behind you and sniff your head.

Joe Rogan 31:23 Bro, I love the gaslighting. Um, I've, I've... There's this one guy that I follow on Instagram, I only f- only follow for gaslighting. And he's like this like hardcore Democrat dude, and he was talking about how amazing Biden's S- State of the Union speech was.

Guest 31:37 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:37 And how inspiring it was, and just really feels, just feels so good about things right now. How about you folks?

Guest 31:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:44 Like what the fuck are you talking about?

Guest 31:47 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:47 What the fuck are you talking about?

Guest 31:48 They definitely had him on a drug, drug cocktail.

Dan Auerbach 31:50 We were trying to figure out what cocktail it was. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 31:52 I, I'd like to know.

Dan Auerbach 31:52 I wanna get on it. I wanna try it.

Guest 31:54 Yeah. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 31:54 I wanna try it.

Guest 31:54 I wanna know.

Dan Auerbach 31:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 31:56 It's probably the Hitler. Like, putting him on the Hitler.

Guest 31:57 He's probably been in bed...

Dan Auerbach 31:58 (laughs)

Guest 31:58 He's probably been in bed since the speech.

Joe Rogan 32:01 Right, just eating ice cream with shit on it.

Guest 32:03 Just trying to recuperate.

Joe Rogan 32:05 (laughs)

Guest 32:06 Body's fucking zapped. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:08 Bro, what are they giving him?

Guest 32:10 I know.

Joe Rogan 32:10 What are they giving him and what does it feel like?

Guest 32:12 Who figured... You'd know.

Joe Rogan 32:12 I, I would imagine, if I was gonna dose up the president, if they brought me in, amateur s- pharmacologist, I would say, uh, v- vitamin B12.

Guest 32:20 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 32:20 I'm like give him the whole vial.

Guest 32:22 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 32:22 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:22 Give him everything intramuscularly 45 minutes before he has to do activities. The next thing I would do is peptides. He's got to be on everything. I want him on BPC-157. I want him on apomoraline.

Guest 32:34 Wait a minute. Let me write this down.

Joe Rogan 32:35 Or te- tesamoraline. I want him on everything. Then I want him on testosterone. I want you to just jack him up with bodybuilder-like levels.

Guest 32:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:43 We're gonna kill him.

Dan Auerbach 32:44 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:44 But he's gonna die anyway. And then I would say speed. We need some fucking Adderall.

Guest 32:47 Yeah, I was gonna say, couldn't you just do-

Joe Rogan 32:49 We need to chew up some Adderall.

Dan Auerbach 32:50 Wouldn't some old-fashioned meth just...

Joe Rogan 32:52 Not enough.

Dan Auerbach 32:53 Okay. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:53 Not enough. He needs...

Dan Auerbach 32:55 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 32:55 He needs... He needs like his body to b- to have at least some resistance to what you're gonna throw at it-

Dan Auerbach 33:01 Okay.

Joe Rogan 33:01 ... to try to make him articulate.

Dan Auerbach 33:02 Okay.

Joe Rogan 33:03 I would g- I would give him a lot of things. I'd give him... I would give him growth hormone, I would give him everything, peptides, vitamins.

Guest 33:10 Dude, he'd come to the podium looking like Swamp Thing.

Joe Rogan 33:11 NAD. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 33:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 33:13 Exactly. Just blow him up. Let's go. I want him purple. I want him on that podium looking purple, just swollen up with creatine. And I would, I would dose him up on everything. And I'd only feed him bison meat. Like-

Dan Auerbach 33:27 That would be... That would be a good supplement company is like, uh, we're gonna give you the authentic JFK.

Joe Rogan 33:33 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 33:34 Here's the JFK t- cocktail.

Joe Rogan 33:35 Yeah, exactly.

Dan Auerbach 33:37 You know, here's what he was into.

Joe Rogan 33:38 Yeah. JFK apparently was... That was Dr. Feelgood. That was the whole term D-

Dan Auerbach 33:42 Really.

Joe Rogan 33:43 Dr. Feelgood was a doctor that they would call upon. And apparently the White House has doctors like this as well, that the, you call upon, you say, "You know what? I'm having a hard time sleeping, Doc." And they, they hook you up with Ambien, or they hook you up with antidepressants, or they hook you up with Xanax if you're feeling depressed. Max Jacobson, Dr. Feelgood.

Dan Auerbach 34:02 Oh, he was Elvis's d-

Joe Rogan 34:02 Miracle Max.

Dan Auerbach 34:03 He was Elvis's d-

Joe Rogan 34:04 Elvis' doctor. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 34:06 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:06 Give me the Elvis cocktail.

Dan Auerbach 34:08 Yeah. You could have like, yeah, historical figures' favorite drugs.

Joe Rogan 34:11 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 34:12 Amazing.

Joe Rogan 34:12 Yeah, give me the Biden.

Dan Auerbach 34:14 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:14 Give me the... Give me that Biden cocktail.

Dan Auerbach 34:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:16 What are they doing? What JFK did not know is that the injections were actually powerful doses of a combination of highly addictive liquid methamphetamine-

Dan Auerbach 34:25 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:25 ... and steroids. So that's what I would give him. See? That's what I'm saying.

Dan Auerbach 34:28 Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:29 I know these things. I should be working for the White House.

Dan Auerbach 34:32 I'm sure there was B12 in that shot too. They just...

Guest 34:34 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 34:35 If, uh... That, that's what my appointment would be for the Trump White House. I'd be the new... I'd be the new Rachel Levine.

Guest 34:41 You'd be the new Dr. Feelgood.

Dan Auerbach 34:42 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:42 Get me in there and I'll fucking straighten everybody out.

Dan Auerbach 34:45 (laughs)

Guest 34:46 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:46 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 34:46 The supplement czar.

Joe Rogan 34:47 And I've got... I'm... I've got everybody on edibles.

Dan Auerbach 34:49 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 34:49 I want the whole staff to be terrified all day long.

Dan Auerbach 34:52 (laughs) Everybody should be.

Guest 34:53 Everybody's got a slant board by their desk. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:55 Yeah, everybody doing fucking knees over toes squats.

Dan Auerbach 34:58 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 34:59 I'd have a hot yoga room there. Let's go. Kettle bells all over the fucking White House. Let's go.

Dan Auerbach 35:04 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:04 Let's go, kids.

Guest 35:05 Big fucking On It banner.

Joe Rogan 35:07 Yeah. Teach them all archery.

Dan Auerbach 35:11 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:11 (laughs)

Guest 35:11 The columns.

Joe Rogan 35:11 Everybody's drinking Kill Cliffs.

Dan Auerbach 35:13 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:13 Let's go. Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 35:16 Look at this.

Joe Rogan 35:17 What's it... Okay. Proclaimed, "I don't care if it's horse piss, it works." (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 35:24 (laughs)

Guest 35:24 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:24 He had s- severe bouts of back pain, apparently. He has like some really, really serious fucking disease.

Dan Auerbach 35:32 What's the treat about Mickey Mantle too, huh?

Guest 35:33 He treated Mickey Mantle.

Joe Rogan 35:35 He treated Mickey Mantle for a case of the flu. "Oh, you got the flu? Let me give you some heroin."

Dan Auerbach 35:38 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 35:39 Hi- hi- injection into Mantle's hip caused severe abscessing septic infection at the injection site that hospitalized-

Dan Auerbach 35:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 35:47 ... Mantle and threatened his career. But that's just staff. That's... That can happen because it was just bad medical advice. That has nothing to do with what he gave him. What did he give him? Improper practices. So this guy was just a wild dude. There's a boo- There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie, and, uh, it's by a guy who, uh, advocates mineral supplementation. He's like, w- we do it with animals, we do it like... And he was saying how so many diseases that people are getting is a result of your diet. And he goes, w- you need to pay attention to doctors and how they live their lives. These guys that are telling you, "You need to do this, you need to take this, you need to take this medication," and this... They're all in cahoots with the pharmaceutical drug companies and they're all super unhealthy. And a lot of them are addicted, not all-

Dan Auerbach 36:33 ... but this is what this guy was saying, a lot of them are addicted to drugs. And so he tells a story about this guy who was, uh, in the middle of surgery and he goes to go do coke, and he has an overdose and dies. He's fucking- (laughs)

Joe Rogan 36:45 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 36:45 ... this guy's dead in the middle of surgery because they were so cranked up. They're-

Joe Rogan 36:51 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 36:51 'Cause they could give themselves whatever the fuck they wanted, so these guys would all take whatever they wanted.

Joe Rogan 36:57 (laughs) Man, yeah, you gotta be careful. If you- if the person telling you how to be healthy is a fat slob.

Dan Auerbach 37:03 Not good. And it's really common.

Joe Rogan 37:07 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 37:07 It's really common at doctor's offices to, to like see a bunch of unhealthy nurses.

Joe Rogan 37:13 Doctors used to smoke. They used to be in there-

Dan Auerbach 37:15 My dad-

Joe Rogan 37:15 ... with a fucking cigarette.

Dan Auerbach 37:16 My dad, uh, my dad walked into a door in the middle of the night in, like, the mid-'70s, broke his nose. And, um, and, uh, he went to go get it straightened a couple weeks later so the doctor had to, like-

Joe Rogan 37:28 Crack it.

Dan Auerbach 37:29 ... crack it. And, um, my dad noticed, like, the next day, like, he couldn't taste any- smell anything. And, uh, he went back to the doctor's office, (clears throat) and was like, "I can't. I'm not s- you know, I can't smell or taste." And the doctor apparently was smoking and took his ashtray and put it up to his nose and like, "Can you smell this?" And my dad said, "No." He's like, "Yeah, it's probably not coming back." Whoa. And that- so I was thinking, like, that happened to you now, you'd get like a hundred million dollar settlement. It's probably not coming back.

Joe Rogan 37:57 It never came back?

Dan Auerbach 37:57 Oh, but no, he still can't, my dad can't smell. Whoa. Yeah. He'll be like, you know, he, you know, he can't smell at all. Just from a broken nose? Yeah. It's like, you know when you taste with your nose pinched? That's what it is. So he can taste, like, hot sauce a little bit. Oh, man. That's gotta suck. Imagine not smelling bacon?

Joe Rogan 38:16 Since when- when did that happen?

Dan Auerbach 38:18 It happened before I was born. Uh-

Joe Rogan 38:19 That's crazy.

Dan Auerbach 38:20 I was born in '80. But he'll get these phantom smells and he'll be like, and it- and I'm like, "What smell do you miss the most?" He's like, "Gasoline." (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:29 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:29 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 38:29 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:29 I love the smell of gas. And I was like, "I used to love that smell."

Joe Rogan 38:32 I used to love that smell.

Dan Auerbach 38:33 I used to.

Joe Rogan 38:33 I used to love that. Well, I was a gearhead when I was a kid.

Dan Auerbach 38:35 That's my- I've got a barn with the motorcycles, and that's the first thing my son says.

Joe Rogan 38:39 The smell of gasoline?

Dan Auerbach 38:39 He's eight years old. When he- as soon as he gets in, he's like, "Oh, my favorite smell." Kids love the smell of gas.

Joe Rogan 38:44 What is it? What is it?

Dan Auerbach 38:45 They love markers, too. The- the huff that stuff? Like, Sharpie.

Joe Rogan 38:47 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:47 (laughs) They do. They do.

Joe Rogan 38:48 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:48 Have you ever seen the photos of all the people who've been arrested for huffing?

Joe Rogan 38:52 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:52 (laughs) It's amazing. There's like a compilation.

Joe Rogan 38:54 Oh, yeah, with like the ring around your face. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 38:55 They all have fucking silver all over their face. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:00 (laughs) Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 39:00 (laughs) It's kinda lost popularity, that huffing. I feel-

Joe Rogan 39:03 Well, a lot of the pro- proponents have died off. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 39:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:08 (laughs) These fucking guys. Just everyone busted for huffing.

Dan Auerbach 39:12 Dude.

Joe Rogan 39:12 I think that one guy got busted a ton of times.

Dan Auerbach 39:15 (sniffs) Wow. They all kinda have a little sparkle in their eye.

Joe Rogan 39:17 That guy. That guy's been busted I believe more than once for huffing.

Dan Auerbach 39:21 (laughs) Whoa, dude. Oh my god. Well-

Joe Rogan 39:24 It's just fucking so silly.

Dan Auerbach 39:26 You know those, uh, guys that stand on the corner in, like, the painted suits?

Joe Rogan 39:29 Mm-hmm.

Dan Auerbach 39:30 Like, the gold suits? They just look like they were just blowing those dudes, like into their paint.

Joe Rogan 39:33 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 39:34 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:34 Well, those dudes, how- how toxic must that shit be? You put that shit on your body all day, that silver paint?

Dan Auerbach 39:41 What- by the way, what a stupid fucking thing to do with your time.

Joe Rogan 39:44 Yeah, not a good one.

Dan Auerbach 39:45 (laughs) This guy.

Joe Rogan 39:50 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 39:50 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:50 Ugh.

Dan Auerbach 39:52 Wow. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 39:52 Yeah, dumbass way to spend your day-

Dan Auerbach 39:55 Didn't-

Joe Rogan 39:55 ... pretending to be a robot.

Dan Auerbach 39:56 ... didn't someone on, like, the set of, like, uh, a Bond film die from being painted all in gold?

Joe Rogan 40:02 Really?

Dan Auerbach 40:03 I think so, in the '60s. Like, yeah. Like-

Joe Rogan 40:07 Urban legend.

Dan Auerbach 40:08 I mean, it's urban legend, but I- I think it- I think it might be true.

Joe Rogan 40:12 The internet kinda fucked up urban legend.

Dan Auerbach 40:14 It definitely did. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:16 (laughs) Yeah. There was one that someone sent me about, uh, Einstein's chauffeur being smarter than him.

Dan Auerbach 40:21 Yeah, that was going around yesterday.

Joe Rogan 40:22 No. No.

Dan Auerbach 40:23 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:23 I sent him immediately, I sent him the fucking article to disprove that. I'm like, "It's not-

Dan Auerbach 40:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:26 ... that's not true."

Dan Auerbach 40:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:28 Here it is. Goldfinger and the myth of Bond girl's death.

Jamie Vernon 40:32 It's a myth.

Joe Rogan 40:33 It's a myth.

Dan Auerbach 40:33 Ah, it's just good marketing, baby.

Joe Rogan 40:36 Oh. What was the whole idea? That she was- was she supposed to be a gold human? Was she an alien? What was she?

Dan Auerbach 40:42 I don't know. Those movies kinda blow. I mean, they- they suck. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:44 (laughs) They were- they were really into painting-

Dan Auerbach 40:45 They're really boring. They suck.

Joe Rogan 40:47 ... they were really into painting naked women's bodies in the '60s in movies. Yeah?

Dan Auerbach 40:51 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 40:51 Well, that's-

Dan Auerbach 40:52 Pro-

Joe Rogan 40:52 ... the weird hack for hos that you can go out in public-

Dan Auerbach 40:55 It's art. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 40:55 ... with your titties painted. Like, you- you could, like, a lot of gals will use that as an excuse to walk around topless, like, for Halloween.

Dan Auerbach 41:02 Yeah, it was probably a way to avoid censors back then. Paint- paint them rather than show it.

Joe Rogan 41:07 Hmm. Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 41:09 Probably. Yeah. Censors. So that's not true, huh? Fuck. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:16 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 41:16 Uh.

Joe Rogan 41:16 It would've been a fun one.

Dan Auerbach 41:18 (sighs) Yeah, it's weird when you start finding these things out. You've just been living- living a lie.

Joe Rogan 41:24 (laughs) Have you guys heard of that, um, those ladies that used to paint loom on watches? These-

Dan Auerbach 41:30 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:31 ... the, what is it called? Radio red-

Jamie Vernon 41:33 Radium?

Joe Rogan 41:33 Radium. Radium girls.

Dan Auerbach 41:34 Radium. And it-

Joe Rogan 41:35 Yeah, they would lick their paintbrush and they all got horrible cancer. Their faces had- Oh my god.

Dan Auerbach 41:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 41:39 ... rotten holes in it, their jaws fell off.

Dan Auerbach 41:41 Oof.

Joe Rogan 41:42 Terrifying shit.

Dan Auerbach 41:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 41:44 Holy shit.

Dan Auerbach 41:44 I mean, uh, (clears throat) my mom has a bunch of that, uh, Fiestaware. We used to eat off that all the time. And apparently, you know, the red is, like, highly radioactive.

Joe Rogan 41:56 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 41:56 It's true.

Joe Rogan 41:57 Really?

Dan Auerbach 41:57 Yeah. 'Cause they're- they were using uranium, and then they started using depleted uranium later.

Joe Rogan 42:01 Oh, god.

Dan Auerbach 42:03 But it's like, yeah, apparently. Red-

Joe Rogan 42:07 Did you get any superpowers?

Dan Auerbach 42:09 Uh, no, I'm just-

Joe Rogan 42:11 Nobody gets superpowers.

Dan Auerbach 42:12 Dude- dude, my brother gave me-

Joe Rogan 42:13 (sniffs)

Dan Auerbach 42:14 ... my- my brother, the same one that sent me, uh-

Joe Rogan 42:16 He does have a superpower. He can guess people's birthdays. Is that-

Dan Auerbach 42:21 I mean, it's not really a superpower, it's just-

Joe Rogan 42:22 It's pretty- How good are you?

Dan Auerbach 42:24 I can guess within three years for- I think for anyone.

Joe Rogan 42:27 Oh, within three years?

Dan Auerbach 42:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:29 Oh, so you're guessing their age?

Dan Auerbach 42:31 Yes.

Joe Rogan 42:32 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 42:32 But I can do historical figures I don't really know who they are. I mean-It's not 100%, but I- I've been pretty close.

Joe Rogan 42:39 With their birth date?

Dan Auerbach 42:40 No, like, their year.

Patrick Carney 42:42 Their birth year.

Joe Rogan 42:43 Okay.

Dan Auerbach 42:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 42:45 What year was I born?

Dan Auerbach 42:56 1968.

Joe Rogan 42:58 '67. Pretty close.

Dan Auerbach 43:00 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 43:00 Just name anybody else.

Joe Rogan 43:02 Wow, okay. Marlon Brando.

Dan Auerbach 43:05 That's good. Mm, give me a second.

Joe Rogan 43:17 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 43:17 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 43:18 1922.

Patrick Carney 43:19 Ooh.

Dan Auerbach 43:22 Oh, within three years.

Joe Rogan 43:23 Wow.

Patrick Carney 43:24 God damn, dude.

Joe Rogan 43:25 '24, wow.

Patrick Carney 43:27 How the fuck do you do that?

Joe Rogan 43:28 That's pretty impressive.

Dan Auerbach 43:29 Let's just keep it 100% accuracy. I don't... Dude, we- we- we- we made our new record, um, collaborating with people. Uh, and one of the guys on our list that we wanted to work with was Noel Gallagher from Oasis.

Joe Rogan 43:45 Mm.

Dan Auerbach 43:46 Um, so we kept reaching out to him and seeing, like, if he would be up for it, and we kept hearing back that he doesn't really do that. And, um, I remembered that my- my neighbor who I golf with used to be Oasis's agent. Um, so I asked him if he could, like, reach out, and through that, we got- we heard back that Noel, you know, would- would be up for recording with us if we went to London. So, we flew all the way to London and rented this small little studio. Um, and we barely knew Noel. We've met him briefly, you know, but we went in there with no song and- and sat down with him, and within a couple hours we had a song written and recorded.

Joe Rogan 44:28 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 44:29 Um, and we, you know, we did it three days in a row, and we had four days booked. And- and, uh, you know, after the first day, we were like, "We got what we need. You know, we- this would be cool if we got more, but-

Patrick Carney 44:40 The rest will be gravy, but we got what we need."

Dan Auerbach 44:42 Yeah. We got-

Patrick Carney 44:42 Paid for the trip.

Dan Auerbach 44:43 And we got- we got the, you know, the second day we got On the Game, and the third day we got this song called Only Love Matters. But the fourth day we showed up and we were like, "We are not fucking pressing it." Like, we- we got, you know, we got off... We went three for three, but we're not gonna...

Patrick Carney 45:00 Let's not push our luck.

Dan Auerbach 45:01 Let's not fuck this up.

Joe Rogan 45:02 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 45:03 So we just spent the whole day just bullshitting with him. Um, but yeah, that's like the same with this. I don't wanna- I don't wanna guess another birthday. I don't wanna fail.

Joe Rogan 45:12 Yeah, I got it.

Patrick Carney 45:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:14 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 45:14 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:14 You've- you've been rock solid so far this show. That, um, On the Game is... The fucking a- album is amazing. It's so good, dude. It's so good.

Dan Auerbach 45:23 Thanks, man.

Joe Rogan 45:24 And thank you for letting me listen to it early. I played it for everybody in the green room and people were like, "Oh, shit."

Dan Auerbach 45:29 Cool.

Joe Rogan 45:29 It's so good, dude. It's so good.

Dan Auerbach 45:32 It was so much-

Joe Rogan 45:32 On the Game is, I told you I- I say- I find myself singing that, like when I see people out trying to hook up in bars, << Everybody's on the game >>

Patrick Carney 45:42 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 45:42 It's fucking great.

Patrick Carney 45:43 That was such an amazing feeling being in the room with him. We- we cut it in this studio called Toe Rag, and the live room is this size. Exact- like this room.

Joe Rogan 45:51 Wow.

Patrick Carney 45:51 So Pat's drum kit's here, little keyboard here, I'm right there, and Noel's right there. We're just in a circle.

Joe Rogan 45:57 Wow.

Patrick Carney 45:58 And, you know, what you hear on the record is the- the take we did.

Joe Rogan 46:01 Wow.

Patrick Carney 46:01 It was like the second or third time we got through the song without fucking it up.

Dan Auerbach 46:05 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:05 Wow. It's amazing that you guys can put together a song.

Patrick Carney 46:09 It is the best feeling. It's so addictive. It's the most addictive thing ever.

Joe Rogan 46:13 It's gotta be.

Patrick Carney 46:14 Being able to, like, get in the studio and make something out of nothing like that.

Joe Rogan 46:17 The fact that you guys can do that in four hours is just insane.

Patrick Carney 46:20 That was the thing, ever since we met, we- we've been able to do that. Ever since the first fucking time we got in a room together he had a four track, and we just... It instantly sounded fucking fun and cool. You know, it was, uh... And it's like hearing that and then getting that feeling has been like-

Dan Auerbach 46:39 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 46:39 It feels like the drive-

Joe Rogan 46:40 You guys-

Patrick Carney 46:40 ... driving force of my life.

Joe Rogan 46:42 ... you guys are, like, one of my favorite origin stories for bands. Just, like, the way you guys work together, the way it works, that you've known each other forever.

Dan Auerbach 46:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 46:51 It's just, the whole thing is awesome. It's just what everybody hopes for in an origin story for a cool band that you like.

Dan Auerbach 46:58 We've got this doc that's coming out at some point that is cool. We- we premiered it last night, but it was cool, all the f- all the footage that the director found of, like, that we... You know, 'cause we weren't taking photos and stuff back in the day. But to see all the- the photos from 20 some years ago.

Patrick Carney 47:16 Yeah, stuff we-

Dan Auerbach 47:17 Videos.

Patrick Carney 47:17 ... I didn't even know existed. I- some of the shit I didn't even remember at all.

Dan Auerbach 47:21 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 47:21 And there's video of it. It's crazy.

Joe Rogan 47:23 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 47:24 The cool thing about, like, uh, On the Game, we got everything but the lyrics, you know. Um, but the melody was there, and that, you know... We kinda made a point with ma- with making this album that for the first time we were going to, like, I guess kinda do it, you know, do it the way that maybe bands used to do it in the '70s, I guess. Like, we were gonna stay at the nicest hotels, the funnest hotels, most fun hotels. We were gonna have fun. So, like, when we were out in London, we were staying at the Chiltern Firehouse, just kind of partying every single night and then dragging ourselves to the studio. One night, Noel was hanging out with us, and he was, like, pointing to some girl at the bar and he's like, "Oh, she's for- for sure on the game." And we were like, we'd been to England, you know, 50 times, but I- we'd never heard that expression. And we were like, "What's that?" He's like, "Oh, she's, you know, a working girl." She's probably, you know, she's probably a prostitute. Which checks out, I think.

Patrick Carney 48:25 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 48:25 There were a lot there. But then Dan was like, "Yeah, everybody here is on the game." But the making this record was so much fun. Um...

Joe Rogan 48:35 How can you tell if someone's a prostitute?... I was in Miami, and my friend was like, "There were so many prostitutes at that hotel." I go, "How do you know?"

Dan Auerbach 48:44 (laughs) Yeah.

Joe Rogan 48:44 This is Miami, they got a lot of gals dressed like hookers here.

Dan Auerbach 48:47 Yeah, it's kinda incriminating if you, if you know. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 48:50 (laughs) How do you know?

Dan Auerbach 48:51 Dude, we played this show once a long time ago in Portland, Oregon, and there's a band playing with us, and they, they were older than us. We were like 22, they were probably 30. They're like, "Guys, be very careful here. It's really dangerous. There's a lot of drug dealers."

Joe Rogan 49:05 Especially in the parking lot.

Dan Auerbach 49:05 "Especially in the parking lot. Like, just (laughs) don't... Be careful."

Patrick Carney 49:09 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 49:09 So we were like, "Fuck. Okay." We, we like got in our car and locked the door. I'm like, hunkered down.

Joe Rogan 49:14 Hunkered down. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 49:15 Hunkered down, like w- waiting. We had, we had like eight hours till we played. And then we're like, accidentally kind of just like staking out the fucking club. And this guy who just warned us about this shit, (laughs) he comes out and we watch him try to buy drugs.

Patrick Carney 49:27 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 49:28 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 49:28 And the guy like literally like takes his money and just runs down the street. Now the whole band's chasing this guy.

Joe Rogan 49:34 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 49:34 Ah.

Joe Rogan 49:36 The guy who warned you?

Dan Auerbach 49:38 Hell yeah.

Joe Rogan 49:38 Of course, that's how it always works.

Patrick Carney 49:40 That was when we played at the Satyricon.

Dan Auerbach 49:42 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 49:44 Right?

Dan Auerbach 49:44 The Satyricon.

Patrick Carney 49:44 The stage was carpet, and they had had like clown wrestling the night before, so the carpet was all...

Joe Rogan 49:49 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 49:49 They had cake in, all in the carpet. Just remember it was like quack, quack.

Dan Auerbach 49:53 (laughs) While you're playing, you're stepping in cake.

Patrick Carney 49:55 And there's nobody there. Absolutely nobody there.

Dan Auerbach 49:59 No one. In fact, the only people-

Patrick Carney 50:00 Two people walked in and then they left.

Dan Auerbach 50:01 They walked in, they were like... Got the fuck out of there. Th- that's apparently where... I guess that's where Kurt Cobain met Courtney Love, was at that club.

Joe Rogan 50:08 Wow.

Dan Auerbach 50:09 Yeah, it's no longer there. But it had been there since the '60s. Cream had played there, back in the day.

Patrick Carney 50:15 That's fucking nuts.

Dan Auerbach 50:16 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 50:16 That is fucking nuts.

Dan Auerbach 50:18 Yeah. We, we saw it on its, uh, way out.

Patrick Carney 50:23 Cream played a place that tiny?

Dan Auerbach 50:25 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 50:25 Doesn't even make sense.

Dan Auerbach 50:27 I know.

Patrick Carney 50:27 Wouldn't they have been huge by the time they come over?

Dan Auerbach 50:30 I mean, it's surprising the, the size venues certain people were playing. Like Hendrix used to play the Felt Forum a lot.

Patrick Carney 50:35 We don't need to look it up.

Joe Rogan 50:37 Uh, Hendrix used to-

Patrick Carney 50:38 I would just believe you.

Joe Rogan 50:38 ... play The Whiskey.

Dan Auerbach 50:39 Yeah, I mean like Hendrix would play The Felt Forum eh, eh, or something as, as Band of Gypsys. That's only a couple thousand seats.

Joe Rogan 50:47 Mm. When Phil Hartman was a kid, he was like, I think he was like 18, he was working at The Whiskey as a, like a stagehand. And he had to keep his hands on the, uh, the speaker that was on the stage, 'cause it was like a little kind of rockety, and Hendrix was playing right in front of him.

Dan Auerbach 51:07 Mm, that's crazy.

Joe Rogan 51:08 He was like, he was 18 years old. He's like, "Hendrix is literally standing in front of me playing."

Patrick Carney 51:13 Oh, shit.

Dan Auerbach 51:15 That's incredible. He did a bunch of album covers, right?

Joe Rogan 51:17 Yeah, Hartman did a bunch. We have one of them framed out here.

Dan Auerbach 51:20 Oh, really?

Patrick Carney 51:20 He was so fucking funny.

Dan Auerbach 51:22 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 51:22 Oh, he's such a good dude too, man.

Patrick Carney 51:23 What a horrible way to go.

Joe Rogan 51:25 Man, and although I never saw that coming-

Patrick Carney 51:28 Actually... Actually honestly, I mean, he was asleep, so...

Dan Auerbach 51:31 He was asleep?

Patrick Carney 51:32 Yeah. Horrible that he went, but...

Joe Rogan 51:34 Well, horrible, period. The whole story is horrible.

Dan Auerbach 51:36 It's insane.

Joe Rogan 51:37 My friend who's a cop, like I had gotten over it and I was getting ready to do stand-up again.

Patrick Carney 51:43 (clears throat)

Joe Rogan 51:43 I would be like, I took a couple weeks off. I was like, "There's no way I can be funny." It's just like it's not possible. And then, uh, I decided to go to the Comedy Store, I'm like, "I gotta get back in there. I got, I just gotta get, live on with my life." And so I'm in the gas station getting gas, and my friend pulls up, who's a cop. I knew him from jujitsu. And I'm like, uh, I go, "What's up, man? What are you doing?" And he goes, "Dude," he goes, "I'm really sorry about your friend." He goes, "Uh, I was on that." I go, "You were there?" He goes, (sighs) . He goes, "Listen. The mother took the children into the bathroom and she had a gun, and that's when they decided to break down the door, 'cause they knew that she was gonna shoot the kids and shoot herself. And the cop broke down the door, and the kids ran from their mother, and then their mother blows her brains out."

Dan Auerbach 52:32 Jesus.

Joe Rogan 52:34 While my friend was there.

Patrick Carney 52:35 Holy... That was Phil Hartman's wife?

Joe Rogan 52:38 That was Phil Hartman's wife.

Patrick Carney 52:39 Yeah, I heard she shot him in the head, in the throat, and in the chest.

Joe Rogan 52:44 (inhales deeply) Well, she was on Zoloft and apparently cocaine. And they won some sort of a settlement with Zoloft. Apparently when you mix Zoloft with cocaine, it's not good.

Dan Auerbach 52:58 So this, this is a c- supplement, this is a cocktail that you don't wanna...

Joe Rogan 53:01 You don't want that one.

Dan Auerbach 53:02 You don't want that one.

Joe Rogan 53:03 You don't want the Bryn Hartman.

Dan Auerbach 53:04 No. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 53:05 Yeah. It sucked.

Patrick Carney 53:06 Fuck.

Joe Rogan 53:07 Yeah. But, so I went on stage and ate shit.

Dan Auerbach 53:10 Oh my God.

Patrick Carney 53:11 Mm.

Joe Rogan 53:11 I mean, boy, did I eat shit. I mean, I was, there was nothing funny coming out of my mouth. I was, I was so depressed.

Patrick Carney 53:17 I can imagine.

Joe Rogan 53:17 I g- I just, I could, shouldn't have done the set. I was so depressed. I just was like, hearing that story, it just like bouncing around in my head.

Patrick Carney 53:24 Were you talking about that at all? Or were you just trying to do your set?

Joe Rogan 53:27 I did ta- I did talk about it briefer, briefly. I did, 'cause I couldn't get over it. I just was so fucked up by it.

Patrick Carney 53:34 You didn't have any jokes together yet, about it?

Joe Rogan 53:36 No, I never did. I never could. I mean, there's nothing there.

Dan Auerbach 53:39 I wonder how you could sue a pharmaceutical company because you had an adverse reaction from mixing it with an illegal substance.

Joe Rogan 53:48 I don't know. I think they probably just paid some money just-

Dan Auerbach 53:51 Right.

Joe Rogan 53:51 ... for everybody to shut the fuck up.

Dan Auerbach 53:52 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:52 That's probably what they do.

Dan Auerbach 53:54 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 53:55 Uh, y- you can't blame someone for taking something illegally with your drug when it probably specifically says don't do that.

Dan Auerbach 54:02 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:02 But maybe they didn't know don't do that or you might fucking shoot someone in their sleep. But I mean, that lady was mean. You know, it was particularly hard for me because I was trying to get him to break up with her, like multiple times. He, he had left. I told him to get divorced. I'll, I'll never forget this. I said, "Dude, just give her half. Just give her half and get out. You're always gonna make more money. Just get out, man."

Dan Auerbach 54:27 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 54:27 And he said, "It's not half." He goes, "It's two-thirds. The fucking lawyers get a third. It's a goddamn scam." You know, and he was just... But he was also freaking out about his image, 'cause he was a family guy. And, you know, he had, he didn't wanna get divorced. H- he wanted to like k- keep everything intact.

Dan Auerbach 54:42 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:43 ... so he would keep making up with her and she would, (sighs) she would, like, insult him in public. It was ugly, man.

Dan Auerbach 54:49 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 54:49 It was ugly.

Patrick Carney 54:51 Yeah. It's crazy when people that you think are, like, so big and powerful are, like, being abused by their partner.

Joe Rogan 54:59 It's common.

Patrick Carney 54:59 I know.

Joe Rogan 55:00 It's common.

Patrick Carney 55:01 I know it is.

Joe Rogan 55:01 (clears throat) Yeah.

Patrick Carney 55:02 It's so strange. Why is that?

Joe Rogan 55:03 There's guys that you would never expect, and they just get ran over in their house.

Dan Auerbach 55:06 What is that?

Joe Rogan 55:07 I don't know, man. I think it has probably something to do with your childhood, probably has something to do with what you've accepted in terms of, like, what a relationship is, the kind of relationships you have with your friends.

Patrick Carney 55:15 I am talking about us.

Joe Rogan 55:16 No. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 55:17 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 55:18 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:19 Bro, it can happen. You can-

Dan Auerbach 55:20 I just, how much, how much humiliation you've gotten while on LSD?

Joe Rogan 55:24 Yeah. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 55:26 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 55:26 I think it, it, it evolves over time too, right? Like, some people, they get together with someone and then over time, someone starts being a cunt, either the guy or the girl. Yeah. It's just, like, you know, people change, and if you're stuck with that person and especially if you have kids with that person-

Patrick Carney 55:42 Right.

Joe Rogan 55:42 ... like Phil did, it's like what do you do? How do you, how do you resolve this?

Patrick Carney 55:46 How old were those kids when that happened?

Joe Rogan 55:47 They were very young.

Patrick Carney 55:48 Oh my God, yeah.

Joe Rogan 55:49 Yeah. It's hard.

Patrick Carney 55:49 Divorce in, in California is hard. Sounds brutal.

Joe Rogan 55:55 Yeah. But it's a lot better than your mom shooting your dad while he's asleep and then talking to you about how she's gonna kill you.

Patrick Carney 56:01 Oh, much better.

Joe Rogan 56:02 And you're all gonna go to heaven together.

Dan Auerbach 56:03 Way better. Much better than that. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:04 Yeah, yeah. That's definitely not good. It's, it's just like, you know...

Dan Auerbach 56:10 Dude, I, you know, you see the divorce happen all the time where, like, you know, the wife gets, you know, a lot of money. I've seen it happen, like, the other way, like, one time, and it was, uh, it was Kelly Clarkson's husband.

Joe Rogan 56:23 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 56:23 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 56:23 And he got, like, a shitload of money. And then, dude, all these divorced dads were, like, posting like, "Get that bag, King."

Joe Rogan 56:29 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 56:31 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 56:31 (laughs) I just kept sending them to Dan. I was like, "Dude, this is outrageous."

Patrick Carney 56:35 This is, this guy is our hero.

Dan Auerbach 56:37 (laughs) Get that bag, King.

Joe Rogan 56:39 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 56:39 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:39 Um, you remember when Mackenzie Bezos and Jeff Bezos got divorced?

Dan Auerbach 56:43 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 56:43 Mackenzie made, like, $38 billion in divorce settlement, and then she hired, she married a high school science teacher. So it was like a dude who's worth $3,200-

Dan Auerbach 56:52 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 56:52 ... just married a woman worth $38 billion. I'm like, "Good luck for the rest of your life. You better sit, sit down when you take a piss, because if you leave that toilet seat up, it's over."

Dan Auerbach 57:02 Yeah. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:02 Like, you're not... You, you, you've gotta be on your best behavior, sir.

Dan Auerbach 57:05 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 57:06 This is not a balanced relationship.

Patrick Carney 57:07 Man, Bezos has been seeing Dr. Feelgood.

Dan Auerbach 57:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 57:10 You think so?

Dan Auerbach 57:11 I don't know. He looks ripped, man.

Joe Rogan 57:12 ♪ Na, na, na, na, na. ♪ Yeah. He looks a lot better than he used to look. He looks like a completely different person.

Dan Auerbach 57:17 Dude.

Joe Rogan 57:17 He's, like, jacked and wears nice clothes.

Patrick Carney 57:20 I mean, yeah, seeing the old footage of him-

Dan Auerbach 57:21 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 57:21 ... just, like, hunched over nerd, fucking hair-

Dan Auerbach 57:23 Elon Musk is kind of the same way too, just, like, looking...

Patrick Carney 57:26 It looked like-

Joe Rogan 57:27 Yeah.

Patrick Carney 57:27 ... such different people.

Dan Auerbach 57:28 Dude.

Joe Rogan 57:28 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 57:29 A guy we know.

Patrick Carney 57:30 Good, it's good.

Joe Rogan 57:31 Yeah, it's good.

Dan Auerbach 57:31 No, it's great.

Joe Rogan 57:32 It's definitely better.

Dan Auerbach 57:32 A guy we know is, like, one of the first 40 people hired for, at Amazon, working in Bezos' garage. And, uh, he was sent to, to Delaware to set up the first East Coast distribution center and, um, dude, he was getting, like, something crazy, like, he got, like, 40,000 shares of Amazon stock. And only, like, 10,000 shares vested and the rest would vest... This is, like, you know, late '90s, the rest would vest in 2005 or something. But, like, when the dot-com bubble kind of burst in 2000, his, the value of his stock went from, like, three million potentially to, to one. And he bas- he, like, quit the job before it vested and he cashed it all out basically for, like, you know, 750 grand. And he ended up moving to Akron, so we were buddies with this guy. He bought all this recording equipment and stuff. Um, and he moved to Akron 'cause it was so cheap that he was just kind of gonna open a studio. But that, like, if he... If that stuff invested, it'd be worth, it'd be worth, like, over $100 million (laughs) now.

Joe Rogan 58:39 Oh, my God.

Dan Auerbach 58:41 I know, dude.

Joe Rogan 58:42 Oh, my God.

Dan Auerbach 58:43 All he had to do is just work at that job for a few more years and just never touch that.

Patrick Carney 58:48 Ugh. (exhales)

Joe Rogan 58:49 (exhales)

Patrick Carney 58:50 Jeez.

Dan Auerbach 58:51 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:52 That's a hard one to swallow.

Dan Auerbach 58:53 It's a hard one to swallow. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 58:54 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 58:55 (exhales)

Patrick Carney 58:56 Life lesson.

Dan Auerbach 58:57 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 58:58 Yeah. I heard a s- similar story about a guy who, uh, had Apple stock in the very early days.

Dan Auerbach 59:03 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:03 And got rid of it. (laughs) Worth some fucking insane amount of money now.

Dan Auerbach 59:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:11 Apple's such a bizarre company. It's so bizarre. They're so successful. Like, what other company has figured out to be that s- so successful that their... The money that they have, just their cash is, like, a-

Dan Auerbach 59:23 A trillion dollars or something.

Joe Rogan 59:24 It's, it's, like, a lot of countries' GDPs.

Dan Auerbach 59:26 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:27 It's nuts.

Patrick Carney 59:27 You know who, you know whose? Rockstar video games.

Dan Auerbach 59:30 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 59:30 Oh, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 59:31 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 59:31 Those guys are fucking crushing.

Joe Rogan 59:33 How much money do they make?

Dan Auerbach 59:35 Well, it's, it's weird how you can protect a video game so thoroughly, but you can't protect e- like, much other intellectual property, you know?

Joe Rogan 59:45 Yeah, it's very hard to protect jokes.

Dan Auerbach 59:47 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 59:48 Jokes get stolen all the time.

Patrick Carney 59:50 Right.

Joe Rogan 59:50 That's a real hard one.

Dan Auerbach 59:52 Um, doesn't Apple just keep all their money in Ireland and not pay taxes on it?

Joe Rogan 59:57 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 59:57 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 59:57 That's what I would do if I was progressive. (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:00:01 Yeah. (laughs)

Patrick Carney 1:00:01 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:00:02 Exactly.

Joe Rogan 1:00:03 That's what I would do. I'd talk about di- diversity and equity and then I'd fucking send all my money to some offshore account.

Patrick Carney 1:00:10 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:11 Get the fuck out of here.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:12 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:12 Y- you don't get none of this. I'm the one who made the iPhone, you fucks.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 (laughs)

Patrick Carney 1:00:16 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:00:16 Mine. Give me it all. Well, wasn't, uh, Jobs was an LSD guy too? Didn't he come up with the idea for Apple when he was on LSD?

Dan Auerbach 1:00:26 Oh, really?

Joe Rogan 1:00:26 Yeah. I'm pretty sure he did. Yeah. There's something, something about LSD that was about, uh, Jobs' inspiration to start Apple.

Patrick Carney 1:00:35 We've been noticing people taking LSD a lot recently.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:38 It's becoming very popular, the spray.

Joe Rogan 1:00:40 It seems like. Yeah.

Patrick Carney 1:00:40 Like, spray on the tongue.

Joe Rogan 1:00:41 Mm-hmm. Seems like it's getting around.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:43 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:00:44 Yeah. I've heard.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:47 ... we, yeah. We only had the LSD that you got from scary old hippies.

Joe Rogan 1:00:51 (laughs) This is still from scary old hippies.

Dan Auerbach 1:00:52 Paper squares. Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:00:53 It's, but it's, uh, apparently, it's very difficult to make. So when you get it, it's like, "Where did you get this? Who's getting it? Who's making it?"

Dan Auerbach 1:01:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:02 There's only, like, a few people in the country, apparently, that know how to make acid.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:07 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:07 Yeah, I don't think it's like growing weed. (laughs) I think it's a complicated process.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:11 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:01:12 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:13 Also, I, my grandfather was a chemical engineer, and, um, I have a bunch of his old textbooks. And I, uh, I'll get them out and show them to my son 'cause it's just like, the math problems (laughs) are just like... He's al- he's al- he- he's a really little kid, but he still understands that there's no numbers in these math problems. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:01:30 Right.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:31 It's just letters. But I look at the stuff, and I'm, these books are from the '40s, you know? And I'm like, to get a PhD in chemical engineering in the '40s, you, you had to be really-

Joe Rogan 1:01:41 (coughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:01:41 ... really fucking smart. There's no fucking calculator. Just a slide ruler. I mean, people must've been way smarter back then.

Joe Rogan 1:01:50 They probably were. It's-

Dan Auerbach 1:01:51 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:01:51 ... probably, it meant a lot more.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:53 Oh, yeah. Those are the people that invented acid.

Joe Rogan 1:01:56 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:01:56 Like, that, now the people we have now invent bath salts. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:00 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:02:02 So, like...

Joe Rogan 1:02:03 Is that still a thing?

Dan Auerbach 1:02:04 I don't know. I was in a hotel, and they had like a, you know, all the little accoutrement for the shower, and one of them was bath salts, and I was like... (pats chest)

Joe Rogan 1:02:12 You said, "I know what I'm doing tonight."

Dan Auerbach 1:02:13 And I went, oh, yeah. So I, so I smoked them.

Joe Rogan 1:02:13 Most people don't even know what we're talking about.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:15 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:02:15 Bath salts, at one point in time, was a thing that you could get in, like, a gas station. And it would say, "Bath salts not for human consumption," but it was a, like a kind of meth. And that what they had done is it engineered some amphetamine to be like-

Dan Auerbach 1:02:30 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:02:30 ... one molecule different or something like that. They can kinda do that weird little game. And then they would sell it.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:35 And, and yeah, it was like delta-9, it was like methamphetamine 3.

Joe Rogan 1:02:39 Right.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:39 But it like, but the side effect was people would like eat each other's faces.

Joe Rogan 1:02:44 (laughs) That one guy did.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:46 Dude-

Joe Rogan 1:02:47 What the fuck? (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:02:47 ... did you see the fucking guy in Haiti? The, the-

Joe Rogan 1:02:50 Oh, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:50 ... the fucking gang leader-

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:51 Barbecue?

Joe Rogan 1:02:51 Barbecue? Yeah, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:53 Eating the fucking charred half?

Joe Rogan 1:02:55 Eating the leg meat? Yeah, of a guy that they burned alive. Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:59 Fuck. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:02:59 Fuck.

Dan Auerbach 1:02:59 Oh my God, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:03:01 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:01 What the fuck?

Joe Rogan 1:03:02 Yeah, people need to see those videos even though they're horrifying-

Dan Auerbach 1:03:05 Oh my God.

Joe Rogan 1:03:05 ... just to understand there's people out there in the world. "Gang leader named Barbecue is now most powerful man in Haiti as US evacuates Americans." So he's now the most pow- powerful person in Haiti, the guy who ate that guy. Boy, that's not good. And what-

Dan Auerbach 1:03:22 He's strapped.

Joe Rogan 1:03:24 ... what happened to Haiti?

Dan Auerbach 1:03:25 (laughs) I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:03:27 Like, what was, was it a coup? Like, what happened there? I don't, I'm not...

Dan Auerbach 1:03:32 I heard there was two rival gangs that just shut the airport, like, a week and a half ago.

Joe Rogan 1:03:37 Yo, that's not good. That's not good.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:43 Nope.

Joe Rogan 1:03:44 They're evacuating Haiti? Wow. That's crazy. That's crazy that a, like a modern country could just be taken over like that by a guy who eats people.

Dan Auerbach 1:03:55 (sniffs) It's like, yeah. That video is fucked up.

Joe Rogan 1:03:58 That video is fucked up. And the fact that that's his nickname?

Dan Auerbach 1:04:01 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:04:01 His nickname is Barbecue?

Dan Auerbach 1:04:03 It's incredible. I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:04:04 It's like a-

Dan Auerbach 1:04:05 ... it's like a South Park. It's like Idiocracy. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:07 Fucking sketch. Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:07 Shit.

Joe Rogan 1:04:07 But you know what it reminded me of is th- um, we talked about this the other day, the Faces of Death videos.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:12 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:04:12 Do you remember those things, man?

Dan Auerbach 1:04:13 Sure. Yeah, like, y- you don't realize like only kids were watching those?

Joe Rogan 1:04:19 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:04:19 (laughs) There was like-

Joe Rogan 1:04:20 I would love to see-

Dan Auerbach 1:04:21 So growing up-

Joe Rogan 1:04:21 ... a documentary on like the making of Faces of Death. Like, who made those, right?

Dan Auerbach 1:04:24 So growing up making that for the kids-

Joe Rogan 1:04:26 Who was making that shit in the '80s?

Dan Auerbach 1:04:28 ... was such a sick fuck. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:28 Yo.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:28 Yeah, dude. Barbecue.

Joe Rogan 1:04:30 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:04:30 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:04:30 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:04:31 That's how you gotta start.

Joe Rogan 1:04:33 (laughs)

Guest 1:04:34 Here's a note on that video. It says it's been going around for over two years, and that it has nothing to do with the current uprising.

Dan Auerbach 1:04:40 Oh, okay.

Guest 1:04:41 But it's just old Barbecue footage?

Joe Rogan 1:04:42 Oh, that's the, it's not... Is it not the same guy?

Guest 1:04:44 Uh, this, um, the p- the, the, whoever is digging into this has not been able to-

Joe Rogan 1:04:48 It says, "Times Now has not been able to independently verify the veracity of the video, that the man chewing what appears to be a finger and then proceeding to tear the flesh of a leg of a body that is burning."

Dan Auerbach 1:04:59 Soon as they get boots on, on the ground there, they'll figure it out for us. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:01 Yeah, they'll figure it out.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:02 (laughs)

Guest 1:05:02 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:02 The video circulated at the time is when, uh, time when Haiti's notorious gang leader, Barbecue, is on his way to become the most powerful man in the nation.

Guest 1:05:11 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:05:12 So it seems like it is true.

Guest 1:05:13 It, yeah, I guess, it's just not from history.

Joe Rogan 1:05:14 They just does not, have not been able to ve- independently verify the veracity of the video. Well, that is a problem today with AI. That could be horse shit. That could be something that someone made. I mean, you could probably get AI to say, "I want a man who's a, a rebel soldier in Haiti eating a barbecued leg."

Dan Auerbach 1:05:31 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:05:31 And I think AI can do that now.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:33 Well-

Joe Rogan 1:05:33 Which is crazy.

Guest 1:05:35 (sighs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:35 ... can we get AI to make a recipe that tastes like human flesh?

Joe Rogan 1:05:38 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:05:39 What if it's really good?

Joe Rogan 1:05:41 (clicks tongue) They say it tastes like pork.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:43 Oh.

Joe Rogan 1:05:43 They would call people long pork.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:43 Cuz, first of all, who is they?

Joe Rogan 1:05:44 Cannibals.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:45 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:46 They would call, they would call humans long pork.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:48 Long pigs. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:05:49 Yeah, long pigs.

Guest 1:05:49 Long pigs. (laughs) Yeah, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:05:51 That's what, uh, Jesse, uh, Ventura, he's, oh, he's talking about long pig. Now what's his face, that comedian who does the Jesse Ventura impersonation that's just outrage-

Joe Rogan 1:06:00 Will Sasso?

Dan Auerbach 1:06:00 Oh my God.

Guest 1:06:00 Yeah. (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:01 Yeah, it's amazing, right?

Dan Auerbach 1:06:01 I watched that for hours.

Guest 1:06:02 It's impression-

Joe Rogan 1:06:03 He's damn on.

Guest 1:06:03 It's, he always talks about long pig.

Dan Auerbach 1:06:05 He does the head bobble too. He says... (laughs)

Guest 1:06:08 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:06:08 Will Sasso is amazing.

Guest 1:06:09 Dude, he's a genius, man.

Dan Auerbach 1:06:10 That is so funny, man.

Joe Rogan 1:06:10 It's so good, yeah. It's amazing.

Dan Auerbach 1:06:12 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:06:13 Yeah. Jesse Ventura, uh, he's a, he's a fucking interesting character. He lives in Mexico now.

Dan Auerbach 1:06:19 What's his cocktail? 'Cause he seems like he's-

Joe Rogan 1:06:21 Yeah. He's not good. He's got Parkinson's, I think it is.

Dan Auerbach 1:06:22 Oh, okay. Shit.

Joe Rogan 1:06:24 You know, when you're a pro wrestler and you're getting slammed around a lot, like, there's a high likelihood you're gonna have severe brain trauma.

Dan Auerbach 1:06:30 Right.

Joe Rogan 1:06:30 Like, those guys are getting beat up all the time. And back then, they didn't know. They didn't even know that you're getting CTE from that.

Dan Auerbach 1:06:36 He went on the Theo Von podcast, and, like, Theo, Theo gives like a disclaimer at the beginning, like, "This is like the worst (laughs) interview that's ever been done."

Joe Rogan 1:06:46 Really?

Dan Auerbach 1:06:46 'Cause I couldn't get a word in edgewise. He's like, "Just...... uh, it- it- just know that I- I know that. But if you watch it, it's an hour and a half of just him just going, no break.

Joe Rogan 1:06:58 Really?

Dan Auerbach 1:06:59 Oh, it's- it's incredible.

Joe Rogan 1:07:01 So, he just talks?

Dan Auerbach 1:07:02 He just talks and just, like, when I ... You know, it's like this-

Joe Rogan 1:07:05 Minnesota.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:06 ... when I was over-

Joe Rogan 1:07:07 What is he talking about?

Dan Auerbach 1:07:08 E- everything. Like, rock and roll, Led Z... Like, it's like (laughs) he just doesn't stop. There's no questions.

Joe Rogan 1:07:15 Really?

Dan Auerbach 1:07:15 Yeah. It's kinda crazy.

Joe Rogan 1:07:17 How weird.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:18 It's worth watching.

Joe Rogan 1:07:19 I wonder if he knew who Theo was.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:22 I don't know. It didn't n- It didn't necessarily seem like it.

Joe Rogan 1:07:25 I did a podcast with him a long time ago, and he was fine.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:28 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:28 He was interesting.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:29 There's, like, a lot of stuff that he did, though. Like, remember that conspiracy show that he did?

Dan Auerbach 1:07:34 Mm-hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:07:35 He was, like, uh, trying to figure out whether or not Lee Harvey Oswald had ... Could've shot JFK.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:40 Okay.

Joe Rogan 1:07:40 It's kind of funny. He was, like, one of the first conspiracy theory guys.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:44 Yeah, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:07:46 It's like using this rifle. Like, he was making shots from the window, the whole deal.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:52 This story is insane. I mean, the whole story of- of him is crazy. Green Beret and ...

Joe Rogan 1:07:58 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:07:59 ... actor, wrestler.

Joe Rogan 1:08:00 Well, he's a UDT. He was one of the original Six.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:02 Yes, insane.

Joe Rogan 1:08:03 Yeah. He was awesome in Predator (laughs) .

Dan Auerbach 1:08:08 "I don't have time to bleed."

Joe Rogan 1:08:10 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:08:10 Was that him? That his line?

Joe Rogan 1:08:11 I don't know. That might've been.

Guest 1:08:13 Yeah, he had the good face paint-

Dan Auerbach 1:08:15 Yeah.

Guest 1:08:15 ... in Predator.

Joe Rogan 1:08:18 That's another one of those movies. Go watch it again. You're like, "What?" (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:08:21 Yeah (laughs) .

Guest 1:08:21 Really?

Joe Rogan 1:08:22 Yeah. (laughs) It's ridiculous.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:24 Damn.

Joe Rogan 1:08:24 Those old movies-

Guest 1:08:25 I always liked that.

Joe Rogan 1:08:25 ... that you loved as a kid are fucking terrible.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:27 Uh- The only one that holds up is Goonies.

Joe Rogan 1:08:30 Goonies holds up?

Guest 1:08:31 Oh, yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:31 Goonies holds up.

Guest 1:08:33 Absolutely.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:33 But I tried to show this-

Joe Rogan 1:08:34 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:34 ... I ain't got time to bleed.

Jamie Vernon 1:08:35 I ain't bleeding, man. I ain't got time to bleed.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:39 (laughs)

Guest 1:08:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:43 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:08:43 (laughs)

Guest 1:08:43 (laughs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:43 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:08:43 Yeah.

Guest 1:08:45 (sighs)

Joe Rogan 1:08:46 Well, he ... That fucking guy was the governor of Minnesota.

Dan Auerbach 1:08:48 I love that premise, though. Like, there's just this, like ... I mean, there ... We need more movies about that, special forces hunting down, like some-

Guest 1:09:00 Alien lifeforms?

Dan Auerbach 1:09:00 ... alien lifeform in the jungle. I mean-

Joe Rogan 1:09:01 Did you see the newest Predator? The newest Predator is actually good.

Guest 1:09:05 Mm-mm.

Joe Rogan 1:09:05 It's called Prey. The- the Predator comes down to, like, you know, 1700s America.

Dan Auerbach 1:09:12 Oh, I like that.

Joe Rogan 1:09:13 And, uh-

Dan Auerbach 1:09:14 That's cool.

Joe Rogan 1:09:14 ... this Comanche woman fights the Predator.

Guest 1:09:17 Hmm.

Joe Rogan 1:09:18 It's crazy. It's ridiculous.

Guest 1:09:20 That's kind of a cool take.

Joe Rogan 1:09:20 But it's fun.

Guest 1:09:21 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:21 It's fun. It's a fun movie, but it's good. It's, like-

Guest 1:09:24 When did that come out?

Joe Rogan 1:09:24 ... well done. A couple years ago. I think it's a Netflix movie, honestly.

Guest 1:09:28 It's on Hulu, I think.

Joe Rogan 1:09:29 Hulu? It's a Hulu movie?

Guest 1:09:29 Hulu.

Joe Rogan 1:09:31 It's good. It's fun.

Dan Auerbach 1:09:34 Prey.

Joe Rogan 1:09:34 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:09:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:09:36 The idea that you'd have a fucking chance.

Dan Auerbach 1:09:38 You know, like, I've- I've never made it through an Alien movie. The Alien? Alien?

Joe Rogan 1:09:43 Yeah? Never?

Dan Auerbach 1:09:44 No. They're just so excruciating and boring to me.

Joe Rogan 1:09:48 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:09:48 You know?

Joe Rogan 1:09:48 What about the first one?

Dan Auerbach 1:09:49 Oh, I, like ... It's just no- there's no way anybody born after the year 2000 has watched Alien-

Joe Rogan 1:09:57 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:09:57 ... without looking at their phone. If they have, it's like they should get a medal. It- it's so-

Joe Rogan 1:10:00 Without looking at their phone.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:02 Or if- i- if you've tried to watch that movie, The Abyss?

Joe Rogan 1:10:04 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:04 I've never- I've never tried to watch a movie more.

Joe Rogan 1:10:07 (laughs) That's the one in the water.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:09 Yeah, dude.

Joe Rogan 1:10:10 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:10 I just, like ... I'll look at my phone and be like, "This has been going on for 45 minutes? It seems like three days."

Joe Rogan 1:10:15 (laughs)

Guest 1:10:16 I've never tried (laughs) to watch one more.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:18 Yeah (laughs) .

Guest 1:10:18 That's amazing.

Joe Rogan 1:10:19 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:10:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:20 It was a good movie, too.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:20 But you're right. A lot of those movies, our pe- Our attention spans were off the charts-

Joe Rogan 1:10:24 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:25 ... compared to what they are now back then.

Joe Rogan 1:10:26 Well, that's the people doing calculus on- on an abacus.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:29 Oh, yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:30 Yeah. That's the- the-

Dan Auerbach 1:10:31 They had a lot of time on their hands.

Joe Rogan 1:10:33 Well, yeah. You weren't being inundated with information.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:36 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:10:36 You had more time on your hands, and you probably were better at concentrating. And they required you to concentrate at school at every level. Whereas now, they're just kinda, like, letting people graduate.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:45 And you're creating a drug that g- gets you fucked up for eight hours.

Joe Rogan 1:10:50 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:50 That's how much time you had.

Joe Rogan 1:10:51 Yeah.

Dan Auerbach 1:10:52 Now, it's like ... What's that- what's that weed people smoke? Do they just ... They- they get ... They disassociate for, like, three minutes?

Joe Rogan 1:10:59 Ketamine?

Dan Auerbach 1:10:59 No, it's like-

Joe Rogan 1:11:00 A weed they smoke?

Dan Auerbach 1:11:01 ... salvia or something? I don't know.

Joe Rogan 1:11:02 Oh, yeah. Salvia divinorum.

Dan Auerbach 1:11:04 That was really popular about 10 years ago, right? 15 years ago.

Joe Rogan 1:11:06 Well, that was because it was a- it's a very potent psychedelic that somehow or another slipped by that 1970s Sweeping Psychedelics Act. And you could buy salvia, again, not for human consumption. You'd be able to buy that places.

Dan Auerbach 1:11:18 I had a buddy who, uh ... He had moved to Akron from San Diego. He was this really cool dude. And, uh, you know, there weren't many ... Nobody I knew was really into drugs in Akron at the time. But I think it was pretty druggy in San Diego. But this guy, he was talk- He would always talk about, um, uh, drinking gypsum tea. Have you ever heard of this?

Joe Rogan 1:11:40 No.

Dan Auerbach 1:11:41 And, uh, he said that his girlfriend- his girlfriend made some ... You could just find this stuff o- you know, like, anywhere in California, and it's gypsum weed. And you make a tea, and then, um, like, his girlfriend started freaking out and started talking to, like, little people in the room.

Joe Rogan 1:12:03 (laughs)

Dan Auerbach 1:12:03 And he drove her to the hospital, and the doctor was, like, instantly like, "Did she have gypsum tea?" And he's like, "Yeah." He's like, "Yeah, this is what always happens." And, like, she was seeing little blue (laughs) little blue people talking to them, like Smurfs.

Joe Rogan 1:12:18 Here's my question.

Dan Auerbach 1:12:19 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:19 What if little blue people are around you all the time, you just don't detect them?

Dan Auerbach 1:12:24 Well, I mean, if ... How does everybody have the same trip-

Joe Rogan 1:12:26 Right.

Dan Auerbach 1:12:27 ... off the drug?

Joe Rogan 1:12:28 Right.

Dan Auerbach 1:12:29 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:30 That's what I'm saying. Like-

Dan Auerbach 1:12:30 Yeah.

Joe Rogan 1:12:31 ... what if there's neighboring dimensions that are accessible through some drugs, and some drugs let you see the blue people?

Dan Auerbach 1:12:37 Like, "Ooh."

Joe Rogan 1:12:38 Like, what if that's, like, Smurfs? The guy figured it out.

Dan Auerbach 1:12:42 Well, yeah. It's like, I think once we were on here, we were talking about, like, simulation theory. And if- You know. But I was thinking, like, yeah, maybe, like, you know, if you can't process, like, things, uh, with the human mind, like...... uh, infinity or something. (clears throat) There's gotta be some ... If it is