Joe Rogan Experience #2118 - The Black Keys

1. 0:00 – 6:08

   Weed laws, Texas freedoms, and a crash course in gun culture

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      (drumming music) Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

   2. NANarrator0:04

      The Joe Rogan Experience.

   3. DADan Auerbach0:06

      Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day. (rock music) There was a cop guarding our car behind the theater yesterday, and we asked him if it was okay if I smoked one. And he said, "You should probably wait." (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      (laughs)

   5. DADan Auerbach0:22

      (laughs)

   6. PCPatrick Carney0:22

      (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:22

      "You should probably wait," is a funny thing for a cop to say.

   8. DADan Auerbach0:27

      (laughs)

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:27

      (laughs)

   10. PCPatrick Carney0:27

       (laughs) Yeah, it was tricky.

   11. DADan Auerbach0:29

       (laughs) So stupid.

   12. JRJoe Rogan0:31

       (inhales deeply)

   13. DADan Auerbach0:34

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan0:34

       The dumbest of laws.

   15. DADan Auerbach0:35

       Yeah.

   16. JRJoe Rogan0:36

       Without a doubt, the number one dumbest of laws. There's noth- nothing that's even close to that one. That one's so stupid. While all the shit that is legal-

   17. DADan Auerbach0:45

       (laughs) Yeah.

   18. JRJoe Rogan0:46

       ... you know?

   19. DADan Auerbach0:46

       It's just a matter of time, I think.

   20. JRJoe Rogan0:50

       We can only hope. It's legal in, like, 20 states or something now. Wasn't it like 19 or something, Jimmy?

   21. JVJamie Vernon0:59

       23.

   22. JRJoe Rogan1:00

       23. 23 states. Ridiculous. But there's a lot of shit you can do here that you can't do anywhere else. You can have a zebra.

   23. DADan Auerbach1:06

       You can have ... You can have a cult.

   24. JRJoe Rogan1:08

       (laughs)

   25. PCPatrick Carney1:09

       (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan1:09

       You can have a cult.

   27. DADan Auerbach1:10

       (laughs)

   28. JRJoe Rogan1:10

       You ca- ... You could have a zebra.

   29. DADan Auerbach1:12

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan1:12

       You can, uh, conceal carry with no license.
2. 6:08 – 7:21

   Action-movie absurdity: Rambo, Red Dawn, and why some eras don’t age well

   1. DADan Auerbach6:08

      God, that, like... My, my friends and I went to go see, uh, whatever the first Rambo was that they made after, like, the 30-year hiatus.

   2. JRJoe Rogan6:16

      (laughs)

   3. DADan Auerbach6:16

      (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan6:17

      The, the funny one?

   5. DADan Auerbach6:18

      Yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:18

      The new one?

   7. DADan Auerbach6:19

      It's like, I don't know how if they made more than just that, but the last three minutes of it, he kills like 800 people or something. (laughs)

   8. JRJoe Rogan6:28

      (laughs)

   9. DADan Auerbach6:28

      It's just so insane.

   10. JRJoe Rogan6:30

       I heard the newest Rambo is preposterous.

   11. DADan Auerbach6:33

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan6:33

       Joey Diaz said it's hilarious.

   13. DADan Auerbach6:35

       (laughs) Yeah.

   14. JRJoe Rogan6:36

       He goes, "It's fucking hilarious. You gotta watch it. It's a masterpiece."

   15. DADan Auerbach6:39

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:40

       Because it's just, it's fucking... You know, it's th- this crazy cartoonish good guy, bad guy thing from, like, the '80s, which looks so out of place. But he still makes those movies the same way.

   17. DADan Auerbach6:53

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:53

       Like, if you go and watch-

   19. DADan Auerbach6:54

       He didn't-

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:55

       ... try to go watch, like-

   21. DADan Auerbach6:55

       ... make any adjustments? (laughs)

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:56

       (laughs) No adjustments heard in the times.

   23. DADan Auerbach6:58

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:59

       No evolution. If you go back and watch, like, those old movies, they're so ridiculous.

   25. DADan Auerbach7:04

       Dude.

   26. JRJoe Rogan7:04

       Go watch Red Dawn. (laughs)

   27. DADan Auerbach7:06

       That would be like if we made the exact same record right now-

   28. JRJoe Rogan7:08

       Yeah.

   29. DADan Auerbach7:08

       ... that we did on the first record.

   30. JRJoe Rogan7:10

       Yeah, but the problem is, like, m- movies are different than music, 'cause some old music is dope as fuck, right? Like-
3. 7:21 – 13:04

   Steven Seagal deep dive: Aikido, bad movies, and carrot-eating diplomacy

   1. DADan Auerbach7:21

      Some old movies. Hell yeah. I got, I got pretty into, like, uh, some s- later, more, more recent era Steven Seagal stuff, like five, six years ago. My friends and I-

   2. JRJoe Rogan7:33

      (laughs)

   3. DADan Auerbach7:33

      ... would watch it because it's just so insanely bad and then-

   4. JRJoe Rogan7:36

      (laughs)

   5. DADan Auerbach7:37

      And then Dan sent me a... He sent me a link to the Cum Town guys talking about- (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan7:42

      Yeah.

   7. DADan Auerbach7:42

      ... these same films.

   8. JRJoe Rogan7:43

      (laughs)

   9. DADan Auerbach7:43

      And it was like, they summed it all up so perfectly, but it was basically like, you know, uh... (laughs) One of the funny things is, like, he's so old and his special forces team that he assembles all has to be kinda his age.

   10. JRJoe Rogan7:57

       (screams)

   11. DADan Auerbach7:57

       (laughs) Which mea- which means, which means their commander has to be, like, 80, you know what I mean?

   12. JRJoe Rogan8:02

       Oh, my God. That's hilarious.

   13. DADan Auerbach8:03

       So they show the commander, he has a white mustache.

   14. JRJoe Rogan8:06

       That's hilarious.

   15. DADan Auerbach8:07

       And old as fuck.

   16. JRJoe Rogan8:08

       That's hilar- Tom Segura had a whole bit about Seagal.

   17. DADan Auerbach8:11

       Dude, I heard a story about him from, from someone who would know. And they said that, like, this super agent, like, he was, he was the, the tra- personal trainer of this, like, super agent.

   18. JRJoe Rogan8:21

       Michalovitz.

   19. DADan Auerbach8:21

       Yeah, yeah.

   20. JRJoe Rogan8:22

       Yeah.

   21. DADan Auerbach8:22

       Yeah. And that, like, that he had a bet with his- with another agent that he can make anybody famous. And they're like, "Well, how about your trainer?" (laughs) And, like, and, uh, I guess they asked him, like, he, you know, to learn a s- a martial art or something?

   22. JRJoe Rogan8:38

       No, no, no.

   23. DADan Auerbach8:38

       That's not it? Okay

   24. JRJoe Rogan8:39

       That's not it, that's not it. No. Steven Seagal is a legit Aikido specialist.

   25. DADan Auerbach8:43

       Right. And that's, like, the art-

   26. JRJoe Rogan8:44

       Legit.

   27. DADan Auerbach8:44

       That's the art of, like, de- de-arming someone? Is that what it is?

   28. JRJoe Rogan8:47

       It was, di- it was invented for samurai to fight against someone with a sword.

   29. DADan Auerbach8:52

       Right.

   30. JRJoe Rogan8:53

       So it's all about, like, a redistribution of energy. It's all about, "I commit to you."
4. 13:04 – 16:28

   Gene LeBell and the Seagal choke-out story (and why groin shots aren’t magic)

   1. DADan Auerbach13:04

      There's this dude, uh, that makes these, he makes these dioramas, like, that are ab- like, insane detail. And, uh, a- the whole time, he's, like, telling a story, and it's funny as hell. I forget his name. It's something Fingers. But he does one of Steven Seagal, and it's, like, depicting this scene that apparently happened where Steven Seagal had told some legendary martial art artist guy, uh, that he, he couldn't be choked out.

   2. JRJoe Rogan13:31

      Gene LeBell, who told the story-

   3. DADan Auerbach13:33

      Yeah, almost. (laughs) The, the shit.

   4. JRJoe Rogan13:34

      ... on my podcast. Oh, that's hilarious.

   5. DADan Auerbach13:35

      So he does these things, these... And yeah, right, well p- apparently, he, he choked him out instantly, and he shit his pants.

   6. JRJoe Rogan13:44

      Gene told the story on the podcast.

   7. DADan Auerbach13:45

      Oh, really? Okay.

   8. JRJoe Rogan13:46

      Yeah.

   9. DADan Auerbach13:47

      But this is, this guy's true story?

   10. GUGuest13:49

       Is he?

   11. JRJoe Rogan13:49

       It's a true story. Gene's a le- he's a legend. Gene LeBell was, uh, he was a, he was a judo champion, and he was, like, one of the first guys to do mixed martial arts fights. Like, he had a fight with a boxer, like, way, way back in the day, and just strangled this boxer-

   12. GUGuest14:07

       (coughs)

   13. DADan Auerbach14:08

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan14:08

       ... and put him to sleep, just... But he made the boxer wear a gi, I think. Pretty sure. And he wore a gi too. Like, there b- there were some weird funky rules. The boxer had the boxing gloves on, he didn't, and he just beat the shit outta the dude. But he was the guy that also trained Bruce Lee. He taught Bruce Lee-

   15. DADan Auerbach14:23

       Okay.

   16. JRJoe Rogan14:23

       ... about grappling. Like, Bruce Lee had, you know, he was doing these movies, and it was a little unrealistic, like some of the things, and Gene LeBell was like, "Let me show you what I can do to you." He just kinda grabs Bruce Lee-

   17. DADan Auerbach14:35

       (laughs)

   18. JRJoe Rogan14:35

       ... and fucking hoists him over his head, and is like, "Listen." (laughs)

   19. DADan Auerbach14:38

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan14:39

       "Settle down." Like, "Let's not pretend you're the baddest motherfucker on Earth."

   21. GUGuest14:44

       But d- does that shit look good in movies, though?

   22. JRJoe Rogan14:46

       It's true though.

   23. GUGuest14:46

       That kind of fighting?

   24. JRJoe Rogan14:47

       No. Well, this is him fighting this boxer dude. Does it look like the boxer had gloves? It doesn't, does it? Yeah, he does. He's got small gloves. So, he's g- what he's ge- got essentially on are bag gloves, and Gene just threw him to the ground and fucking strangled him.

   25. DADan Auerbach14:59

       Hold over him.

   26. JRJoe Rogan14:59

       He just choked him to sleep.

   27. DADan Auerbach15:00

       Wow.

   28. JRJoe Rogan15:02

       But Gene's a gorilla. I mean, that, that dude's a, he's a tank of a man. You know, even as an old man, some dudes in his neighborhood, uh, were fucking with someone's car, and, uh, he said, "Hey, get the fuck outta here," and they were like, "Fuck you, old man." He's like, "Okay." (laughs)

   29. DADan Auerbach15:17

       (laughs)

   30. JRJoe Rogan15:17

       And he just beat the shit out of the three of them. It seemed as like at least two guys. I, I don't remember the, the entire story, but some poor fucking idiot wound up-
5. 16:28 – 18:07

   Unabomber origins, Harvard experiments, and the suspicion that ‘they never stopped’

   1. GUGuest16:28

      (laughs)

   2. JRJoe Rogan16:28

      Dude, I just realized what your shirt says. (laughs)

   3. DADan Auerbach16:31

      Oh, yeah. (laughs)

   4. GUGuest16:34

      (laughs)

   5. JRJoe Rogan16:34

      Harvard University with a photo of the Unabomber.

   6. DADan Auerbach16:37

      Yeah. (laughs)

   7. JRJoe Rogan16:37

      Oh my God.

   8. GUGuest16:38

      My friend-

   9. DADan Auerbach16:39

      My friend Brendan makes these.

   10. JRJoe Rogan16:40

       That's amazing.

   11. DADan Auerbach16:41

       I know. That's the best thing about the shirt is it takes, like, an hour for someone to notice.

   12. GUGuest16:44

       (laughs)

   13. JRJoe Rogan16:45

       (laughs)

   14. DADan Auerbach16:45

       It's on there.

   15. JRJoe Rogan16:45

       I didn't even read it before. I was just saying hi, and then I realized... That fucking story is the craziest. Did you see that Netflix documentary on the Unabomber?

   16. GUGuest16:53

       Mm, no.

   17. DADan Auerbach16:53

       I didn't.

   18. JRJoe Rogan16:54

       Oh, it's nuts, man. When he was a baby, he had some sort of a disease, and so they had to take him to a hospital, and he wasn't allowed to have contact with people.

   19. DADan Auerbach17:03

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:04

       So his parents weren't allowed to see him. No one was allowed to see him, and I, I think it was for, like, months.

   21. DADan Auerbach17:08

       Jesus.

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:09

       And-

   23. GUGuest17:09

       Wow.

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:10

       ... for a baby to not be touched for months-

   25. DADan Auerbach17:12

       Oh my God.

   26. JRJoe Rogan17:13

       ... just cracks you, cracks you. So then this poor fuck goes to Harvard-

   27. DADan Auerbach17:18

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan17:18

       ... and they enroll him in the LSD studies.

   29. DADan Auerbach17:20

       (laughs) Oh my Go-

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:21

       And they, their goal is to see what, like, constant humiliation will do to a person while you're dosing 'em up with LSD.
6. 18:07 – 21:26

   Creepy islands and weird biology: Montauk Monster, Plum Island, and herpes monkeys

   1. DADan Auerbach18:07

      I was talking to, um, uh, this chick at a party the other day, and, uh, she's talking about how she has a house on Shelter Island off of Long Island, and how this really weird...... animal was fucking with her dog and she was describing it (laughs) and I was like, "It sounds like, it sounds like the Montauk Monster." I was like... (laughs) She had, like, a beak and, like, wallaby legs. And it... But she, she... And I was like... I was like, "You know there's that Plum Island, like, research facility right near where your house is?" (laughs) And she's like, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

   2. JRJoe Rogan18:40

      (laughs)

   3. PCPatrick Carney18:40

      (laughs)

   4. DADan Auerbach18:40

      I was like, "I don't know. I mean, there's this-"

   5. JRJoe Rogan18:42

      (laughs)

   6. PCPatrick Carney18:42

      (laughs)

   7. DADan Auerbach18:42

      "... Center for Disease Control has some weird island that they ha- that, you know."

   8. JRJoe Rogan18:46

      Well, they do experiments out there? (clears throat)

   9. DADan Auerbach18:48

      I don't know. I mean, I, I w-

   10. PCPatrick Carney18:49

       It looks like a mutant platypus.

   11. JRJoe Rogan18:51

       Bro, imagine if they created an animal and just said, "Let's just let it loose and see long before people find it."

   12. DADan Auerbach18:56

       I got a house in South Carolina and, um, it's like a second home. And I started getting into, like, looking at, like, old houses, like old plantation houses to see... I would... Like, when they would come up for sale, I would go look just to see, like, what... You know, 'cause I was into the history. And I looked at this one that was on Saint Helena Island. Uh, and it was, it was really, you know, cool. It was a house from 1795. (clears throat) Um, but as I was driving back, I was kind of like, uh, with the realtor I was looking around. I was like... I realized there's this island right next to the, to this place called Morgan Island. Have you heard of this place?

   13. JRJoe Rogan19:33

       No.

   14. DADan Auerbach19:34

       (laughs) It's like, you know, five miles from where I was just at. It's filled up with rhesus monkeys that all have herpes. (laughs)

   15. PCPatrick Carney19:42

       Oh, I have heard of this.

   16. JRJoe Rogan19:44

       What?

   17. DADan Auerbach19:45

       That they...

   18. PCPatrick Carney19:46

       (laughs)

   19. DADan Auerbach19:46

       They feed them by, like, dropping shit from a helicopter. Like, if-

   20. JRJoe Rogan19:50

       What the fuck are you talking about?

   21. DADan Auerbach19:50

       If you go to the island, you have to, like, you know, quarantine for months 'cause there's, like, these viruses that are just rapidly mutating on the island.

   22. JRJoe Rogan19:59

       Oh, my God.

   23. DADan Auerbach20:00

       (laughs) Yeah.

   24. JRJoe Rogan20:01

       Bro, nothing good happens on islands.

   25. PCPatrick Carney20:03

       (laughs)

   26. DADan Auerbach20:03

       I'm just like... (laughs)

   27. JRJoe Rogan20:04

       If someone has a private island-

   28. DADan Auerbach20:06

       Yeah. (laughs)

   29. JRJoe Rogan20:06

       ... there's nothing good happening on that island.

   30. PCPatrick Carney20:09

       (laughs)
7. 21:26 – 26:02

   Manson, CIA-adjacent theories, and recording in a time-capsule studio

   1. JRJoe Rogan21:26

      Well, they definitely did something with Manson, too. Did you ever read that book Chaos by Tom O'Neill? Have you heard of it?

   2. DADan Auerbach21:31

      I, I have it, but I haven't read it. I buy a lot of books that I don't read.

   3. PCPatrick Carney21:34

      (laughs)

   4. JRJoe Rogan21:34

      It's, uh, good on tape if you wanna just listen to it on tape-

   5. DADan Auerbach21:36

      Okay, that's better idea.

   6. JRJoe Rogan21:37

      ... which makes it way easier.

   7. DADan Auerbach21:38

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan21:38

      It's a bananas book. And the guy who wrote it is my friend's neighbor. So my friend Greg, uh, who I started comedy with, Greg Fitzsevens, was neighbors with this guy in New York and then neighbors with him in Venice. And this guy has been writing this one fucking story for 20 years. He got hired to write it as, like, a anniversary piece on the death... The, the Manson murders. And as he's writing, he's like, "There's so much wrong with this story." And so he goes into this deep investigation of it, and he fucking becomes obsessed. For 20 years, this guy can't finish publishing this story. And then it becomes a book and a book deal, and then they bring in an editor, and finally the piece... He's got enough for another book, he said. But it's all about the CIA. Like, the CIA met Manson when he was in prison, the same guys that met Jack Ruby after he shot Lee Harvey Oswald.

   9. DADan Auerbach22:28

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JRJoe Rogan22:28

       And they taught Manson, essentially, how to run a cult. They gave him LSD. They dosed him. They told him... Like, many times, Manson apparently would not take the LSD, but he would give it to everybody else. And then while they're on acid, he's manipulating them-

   11. DADan Auerbach22:44

       Right.

   12. JRJoe Rogan22:44

       ... and then turned them into murderers. And the whole plan was just to... They were trying to attack the antiwar movement and the best way to do it was, like, instead of making this hippie movement, like, "This beautiful thing we should all embrace, love and peace," let's make it violent psychos that cut babies out of pregnant women-

   13. DADan Auerbach23:04

       Right.

   14. JRJoe Rogan23:04

       ... and write "pig" on the wall with their blood. Let's do that. And so they did that, and it worked.

   15. DADan Auerbach23:11

       (laughs) It's insane. I mean-

   16. JRJoe Rogan23:13

       It's insane.

   17. DADan Auerbach23:14

       Uh-

   18. JRJoe Rogan23:14

       And that's what they used to st- pass that Psychedelics Act in 1970. That's those same tactics. That's... The, the whole idea was stop the antiwar movement, stop the civil rights movement.

   19. PCPatrick Carney23:24

       (clears throat)

   20. DADan Auerbach23:25

       Um-

   21. JRJoe Rogan23:26

       It's crazy. (laughs) This is our government.

   22. DADan Auerbach23:28

       We worked at a studio, uh, last year in, um, in Los Angeles that, uh, apparently Manson recorded a bunch of stuff at.

   23. JRJoe Rogan23:38

       (laughs)

   24. DADan Auerbach23:38

       Um, and it was crazy because this studio, it's called Valentine Studios, uh, this guy built it, like, in the early '60s. He was a, he was a Capitol Records producer, and he built his own studio so he could do shit outside of Capitol Records. And I guess he, you know, he was into jazz and, like, I guess-

   25. PCPatrick Carney23:56

       Capitol Records is famous, world-famous. It's got these echo chambers that are very... Unique to it-

   26. DADan Auerbach24:01

       Yeah.

   27. PCPatrick Carney24:01

       ... and very special. And he had the blueprints for the originals and just created copies-

   28. JRJoe Rogan24:06

       Oh, wow.

   29. PCPatrick Carney24:07

       ... of the studio.

   30. DADan Auerbach24:08

       And apparently, like, as the music scene turned more to rock, like, the guy just got completely fed up with... 'Cause there, he was used to, like, cutting four songs in a day, and now they've got, like, a bunch of stoners working on, like-
8. 26:02 – 29:04

   Guns N’ Roses gig reality check, backstage rules, and celebrity run-ins

   1. DADan Auerbach26:02

      Dude, we opened for them a couple months ago.

   2. JRJoe Rogan26:05

      Guns N' Roses?

   3. DADan Auerbach26:05

      Uh-huh, at the Hollywood Bowl. And like, the whole deal was like their friend came to us and was like, "This would be cool. Like, they'll play for like an hour and a half. You'll play for an hour. You'll go on at like 7:30."

   4. JRJoe Rogan26:18

      Neither of us have ever played the Bowl.

   5. DADan Auerbach26:20

      Yeah, so that... It was like... It was, it was perfect. Then we show... We fly over to LA and we get... Like, our set time is 6:00 PM.

   6. JRJoe Rogan26:27

      (laughs)

   7. DADan Auerbach26:27

      Like, literally we're playing to like a dude in the front eating a hot dog.

   8. JRJoe Rogan26:32

      (laughs)

   9. DADan Auerbach26:32

      (laughs) Like, it's just so insane. And then-

   10. JRJoe Rogan26:35

       And then they played for three hours.

   11. DADan Auerbach26:36

       And they played for three hours, but the craziest part of the whole thing was that, uh, I lit a cigarette out backstage and there was no smoking, uh, by our smoking ban. (laughs) They were like, you know, "Smoke is going into the Slash's thing." So, I was just... I thought it was funny that the guy is like known for the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

   12. JRJoe Rogan27:00

       (laughs)

   13. DADan Auerbach27:00

       It's like, "Absolutely no smoking around here." (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan27:04

       But does he... But did he quit and then like-

   15. DADan Auerbach27:06

       I don't know.

   16. JRJoe Rogan27:06

       ... now he's got this thing?

   17. DADan Auerbach27:06

       I don't know. We didn't get to meet them. Um...

   18. JRJoe Rogan27:08

       You didn't meet them?

   19. DADan Auerbach27:09

       No.

   20. JRJoe Rogan27:10

       What?

   21. DADan Auerbach27:11

       I know, it was weird.

   22. JRJoe Rogan27:13

       That's crazy.

   23. DADan Auerbach27:15

       I know.

   24. JRJoe Rogan27:16

       Uh-huh. I met Axl Rose in a restaurant in Greece, just randomly. I was eating at this restaurant and my friend comes by and goes, "That fucking Axl Rose is sitting over there." I'm like, "Shit, we're gonna have to walk by him." Uh, it was... It's that weird thing where you say hi to someone, you don't know if they know who you are.

   25. DADan Auerbach27:30

       Yeah.

   26. JRJoe Rogan27:30

       But luckily he did.

   27. DADan Auerbach27:31

       Yeah.

   28. JRJoe Rogan27:31

       And then he invited me to the show. And-

   29. DADan Auerbach27:32

       I'm sure he's, I'm sure he's a cool guy.

   30. JRJoe Rogan27:34

       He's a cool guy. I met him one time. He's, he's real cool. He's very cool. But he, you know, he gets bothered a lot. So like...
9. 29:04 – 39:56

   Handshake psychology to presidential ‘cocktails’: Trump pulls, Biden energy, and Dr. Feelgood

   1. DADan Auerbach29:04

      Maybe we need to invent a new form of greeting each other.

   2. JRJoe Rogan29:08

      Well, the handshake is fine. It's a good one. You know why it's good? Because if you hang on too long, it's weird.

   3. DADan Auerbach29:15

      Yeah.

   4. JRJoe Rogan29:16

      That's why it's good.

   5. DADan Auerbach29:17

      (laughs)

   6. JRJoe Rogan29:17

      'Cause it's like an intimate gesture. There's a gesture, we're touching skin, but only for a little bit. 'Cause if we ha-... You know, if someone ha-... A handshake for too long, gets odd.

   7. DADan Auerbach29:27

      Yeah.

   8. JRJoe Rogan29:27

      It gets a little odd. I like how Trump, how Trump does the thing where he just pulls everybody in. Dude, he got me. (laughs)

   9. DADan Auerbach29:32

      (laughs)

   10. JRJoe Rogan29:32

       That motherfucker got me. Let me tell you something, I was ready for it the first time.

   11. DADan Auerbach29:35

       (laughs)

   12. JRJoe Rogan29:35

       The first time I met him, first of all, he has normal size hands.

   13. DADan Auerbach29:38

       (laughs)

   14. JRJoe Rogan29:38

       I have big hands. He has regular size hands. He's a big guy. So, um, I was ready. I knew I was gonna meet him.

   15. DADan Auerbach29:46

       (laughs)

   16. JRJoe Rogan29:46

       The first time I met him-

   17. DADan Auerbach29:47

       Power stance.

   18. JRJoe Rogan29:47

       ... he came over, just put his hands on my shoulders like, "You do, you do a great job." But I was sitting, you know, I was sitting. So this time I actually stood up, we made eye contact. I said, "How you doing, sir?" I shook his hand, I'm like, "Oh, I know what he's about to do." So I fucking anchored myself.

   19. DADan Auerbach30:01

       (laughs)

   20. JRJoe Rogan30:01

       I'm like, "Not today, son."

   21. DADan Auerbach30:03

       Core strength.

   22. JRJoe Rogan30:03

       "Not today. Would you give me a nice pull?" And I'm like... But we're hanging out for a while. So then the next time I met him, he was at a UFC as well and- Did you try to pull? Dude, I'll tell you what happened. Okay. I'm sitting down and he looks at me and he goes like this and he gets up- (laughs) ... starts walking towards me. And I, I get up and I reach over with my hand and he- (laughs)

   23. DADan Auerbach30:23

       (laughs)

   24. JRJoe Rogan30:24

       And I'm over the table.

   25. GUGuest30:25

       ... he got you. (laughs)

   26. JRJoe Rogan30:25

       I'm over... He really fucking got me.

   27. GUGuest30:27

       He got you.

   28. JRJoe Rogan30:28

       He got me good. He got me good.

   29. GUGuest30:29

       Fucking Aikido.

   30. JRJoe Rogan30:29

       He got me good. I'm like, this motherfucker learns from his mistakes.
10. 39:56 – 43:29

    Urban legends, radiation horrors, and chemical exposure in everyday life

    1. DADan Auerbach39:56

       ... didn't someone on, like, the set of, like, uh, a Bond film die from being painted all in gold?

    2. JRJoe Rogan40:02

       Really?

    3. DADan Auerbach40:03

       I think so, in the '60s. Like, yeah. Like-

    4. JRJoe Rogan40:07

       Urban legend.

    5. DADan Auerbach40:08

       I mean, it's urban legend, but I- I think it- I think it might be true.

    6. JRJoe Rogan40:12

       The internet kinda fucked up urban legend.

    7. DADan Auerbach40:14

       It definitely did. (laughs)

    8. JRJoe Rogan40:16

       (laughs) Yeah. There was one that someone sent me about, uh, Einstein's chauffeur being smarter than him.

    9. DADan Auerbach40:21

       Yeah, that was going around yesterday.

    10. JRJoe Rogan40:22

        No. No.

    11. DADan Auerbach40:23

        Yeah.

    12. JRJoe Rogan40:23

        I sent him immediately, I sent him the fucking article to disprove that. I'm like, "It's not-

    13. DADan Auerbach40:26

        Yeah.

    14. JRJoe Rogan40:26

        ... that's not true."

    15. DADan Auerbach40:27

        Yeah.

    16. JRJoe Rogan40:28

        Here it is. Goldfinger and the myth of Bond girl's death.

    17. JVJamie Vernon40:32

        It's a myth.

    18. JRJoe Rogan40:33

        It's a myth.

    19. DADan Auerbach40:33

        Ah, it's just good marketing, baby.

    20. JRJoe Rogan40:36

        Oh. What was the whole idea? That she was- was she supposed to be a gold human? Was she an alien? What was she?

    21. DADan Auerbach40:42

        I don't know. Those movies kinda blow. I mean, they- they suck. (laughs)

    22. JRJoe Rogan40:44

        (laughs) They were- they were really into painting-

    23. DADan Auerbach40:45

        They're really boring. They suck.

    24. JRJoe Rogan40:47

        ... they were really into painting naked women's bodies in the '60s in movies. Yeah?

    25. DADan Auerbach40:51

        Oh, yeah.

    26. JRJoe Rogan40:51

        Well, that's-

    27. DADan Auerbach40:52

        Pro-

    28. JRJoe Rogan40:52

        ... the weird hack for hos that you can go out in public-

    29. DADan Auerbach40:55

        It's art. (laughs)

    30. JRJoe Rogan40:55

        ... with your titties painted. Like, you- you could, like, a lot of gals will use that as an excuse to walk around topless, like, for Halloween.
11. 43:29 – 1:20:00

    The new album’s creative engine: Noel Gallagher sessions and ‘On the Game’ meaning

    1. DADan Auerbach43:29

       Let's just keep it 100% accuracy. I don't... Dude, we- we- we- we made our new record, um, collaborating with people. Uh, and one of the guys on our list that we wanted to work with was Noel Gallagher from Oasis.

    2. JRJoe Rogan43:45

       Mm.

    3. DADan Auerbach43:46

       Um, so we kept reaching out to him and seeing, like, if he would be up for it, and we kept hearing back that he doesn't really do that. And, um, I remembered that my- my neighbor who I golf with used to be Oasis's agent. Um, so I asked him if he could, like, reach out, and through that, we got- we heard back that Noel, you know, would- would be up for recording with us if we went to London. So, we flew all the way to London and rented this small little studio. Um, and we barely knew Noel. We've met him briefly, you know, but we went in there with no song and- and sat down with him, and within a couple hours we had a song written and recorded.

    4. JRJoe Rogan44:28

       Wow.

    5. DADan Auerbach44:29

       Um, and we, you know, we did it three days in a row, and we had four days booked. And- and, uh, you know, after the first day, we were like, "We got what we need. You know, we- this would be cool if we got more, but-

    6. PCPatrick Carney44:40

       The rest will be gravy, but we got what we need."

    7. DADan Auerbach44:42

       Yeah. We got-

    8. PCPatrick Carney44:42

       Paid for the trip.

    9. DADan Auerbach44:43

       And we got- we got the, you know, the second day we got On the Game, and the third day we got this song called Only Love Matters. But the fourth day we showed up and we were like, "We are not fucking pressing it." Like, we- we got, you know, we got off... We went three for three, but we're not gonna...

    10. PCPatrick Carney45:00

        Let's not push our luck.

    11. DADan Auerbach45:01

        Let's not fuck this up.

    12. JRJoe Rogan45:02

        (laughs)

    13. DADan Auerbach45:03

        So we just spent the whole day just bullshitting with him. Um, but yeah, that's like the same with this. I don't wanna- I don't wanna guess another birthday. I don't wanna fail.

    14. JRJoe Rogan45:12

        Yeah, I got it.

    15. PCPatrick Carney45:14

        (laughs)

    16. JRJoe Rogan45:14

        Yeah.

    17. PCPatrick Carney45:14

        (laughs)

    18. JRJoe Rogan45:14

        You've- you've been rock solid so far this show. That, um, On the Game is... The fucking a- album is amazing. It's so good, dude. It's so good.

    19. DADan Auerbach45:23

        Thanks, man.

    20. JRJoe Rogan45:24

        And thank you for letting me listen to it early. I played it for everybody in the green room and people were like, "Oh, shit."

    21. DADan Auerbach45:29

        Cool.

    22. JRJoe Rogan45:29

        It's so good, dude. It's so good.

    23. DADan Auerbach45:32

        It was so much-

    24. JRJoe Rogan45:32

        On the Game is, I told you I- I say- I find myself singing that, like when I see people out trying to hook up in bars, << Everybody's on the game >>

    25. PCPatrick Carney45:42

        (laughs)

    26. JRJoe Rogan45:42

        It's fucking great.

    27. PCPatrick Carney45:43

        That was such an amazing feeling being in the room with him. We- we cut it in this studio called Toe Rag, and the live room is this size. Exact- like this room.

    28. JRJoe Rogan45:51

        Wow.

    29. PCPatrick Carney45:51

        So Pat's drum kit's here, little keyboard here, I'm right there, and Noel's right there. We're just in a circle.

    30. JRJoe Rogan45:57

        Wow.

Episode duration: 3:16:24