Joe Rogan Experience #2512 - Joey Diaz

1. 0:00 – 0:02

   Intro

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:00

      [upbeat music]

2. 0:02 – 2:35

   Knee recovery hacks: Voltaren, edibles, and pain management on the road

   1. JRJoe Rogan0:02

      Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out! The Joe Rogan Experience. Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night. All day.

   2. JDJoey Diaz0:12

      All right, brother. Hey.

   3. JRJoe Rogan0:13

      My man, what's happening? What's going on?

   4. JDJoey Diaz0:14

      Nothing, same shit. Great to be here.

   5. JRJoe Rogan0:16

      Great to see you. How you feeling?

   6. JDJoey Diaz0:17

      Ice in my knee. Like a tip-top fucking Magoo.

   7. JRJoe Rogan0:19

      Your knee... I can't believe you can walk so quickly after getting the knee fixed again.

   8. JDJoey Diaz0:24

      It was, like, three days, man.

   9. JRJoe Rogan0:26

      That's nuts.

   10. JDJoey Diaz0:26

       But yesterday I fucked it up at Newark Airport because I wanted to walk.

   11. JRJoe Rogan0:30

       Oh.

   12. JDJoey Diaz0:31

       You know? But it was like, like I walk every day at the gym, and then I walk my neighborhood for breakfast and after dinner, but that's a loop.

   13. JRJoe Rogan0:39

       Mm-hmm.

   14. JDJoey Diaz0:39

       You know? This was 10 loops yesterday. So thank God I had a baggie with edibles with me on the plane. I ate the edibles, and I put... I asked the fucking flight attendant if she'd give me some ice, and that's how I got it down. Then I... You rub it with that Vortom shit, that liquid cocaine juice that's-

   15. JRJoe Rogan0:54

       What? [laughs]

   16. JDJoey Diaz0:55

       Yeah, there's a cream that, that became illegal. You buy it over the counter.

   17. JRJoe Rogan0:59

       What is that?

   18. JDJoey Diaz0:59

       It's Vora something, Vorta... Look, don't quote me, man.

   19. JRJoe Rogan1:02

       The z-

   20. JDJoey Diaz1:03

       But it's a good cream. It numbs your eye. You have to rub it, though, twice a day and-

   21. JRJoe Rogan1:06

       Oh, yeah?

   22. JDJoey Diaz1:07

       Yeah, but it fucking feels fantastic.

   23. JRJoe Rogan1:09

       I've never heard of it.

   24. JDJoey Diaz1:10

       Yeah, Voltron, Voltaren.

   25. JRJoe Rogan1:11

       Vol, Vol what?

   26. JDJoey Diaz1:12

       Don't listen to me, though.

   27. JRJoe Rogan1:13

       [laughs]

   28. JDJoey Diaz1:13

       Just Google what's the-

   29. JRJoe Rogan1:15

       Is that it?

   30. JDJoey Diaz1:15

       That it, Voltaren. See? I was right.
3. 2:35 – 6:15

   Old-school steroids, cadaver HGH, and Lyle Alzado’s cautionary tale

   1. JDJoey Diaz2:35

      So we were talking about Lyle Alzado.

   2. JRJoe Rogan2:37

      Yeah.

   3. JDJoey Diaz2:37

      That was the early steroids, which were the '70s.

   4. JRJoe Rogan2:41

      Yeah.

   5. JDJoey Diaz2:41

      You don't know what the fuck we were getting in the '70s. Everything came from Germany, I think.

   6. JRJoe Rogan2:45

      I think they were getting-

   7. JDJoey Diaz2:45

      Deca Durabolin, all that shit.

   8. JRJoe Rogan2:47

      I think they were getting human growth hormone from ca- cadavers. See if that's true. Jamie, put that into our AI sponsor, Perplexity.

   9. JDJoey Diaz2:57

      [laughs]

   10. JRJoe Rogan2:57

       Did they used to get human growth hormone from cadavers? I think they did. I think that's how they used to get it.

   11. JDJoey Diaz3:03

       Where do you get human grow- growth hormone from now?

   12. JRJoe Rogan3:06

       That's a good question. Um, I don't know. I don't know how they do it. It's synthetic. I know it's synthetic, so it must be they isolate the molecule, they figure out how to reproduce it, and then they make it somehow. I have no idea. Um, but the way they used to do it back then. Cadaver-derived human growth hormone was real, used mid-1900s to 1985. It turned out to be dangerous, 'cause it sometimes tr- transmitted prion diseases like Creutzfeldt-Jakob, Jakob, and is no longer used and has been fully replaced by synthetic recombinant HGH. So, uh, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, that's mad cow disease. It's the same kind of disease, and when it comes from is... It's the same thing that cannibals get. When people eat human brain tissue-

   13. JDJoey Diaz3:54

       Oh

   14. JRJoe Rogan3:54

       ... they, they get, and, and neurons and that kind of shit, you get this same disease. Alzado was one of the first US f- sports figures to admit using anabolic steroids in the last year of his life as he battled against the brain tumor which eventually caused his death. Alzado asserted that his steroid use abuse, his steroid abuse directly led to his fatal illness. He recounted his steroid abuse in an article in Sports Illustrated. "I target- started taking anabolic steroids in '69 and never stopped. Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I was addicting mentally... It was addicting mentally and... mentally addicting. 90% of athletes I know are on the stuff. We're not born to be 300 pounds or jump 30 feet. Be- I became very violent on the field. Off it, too. I did things only crazy people do. Once in 1979 in Denver, a guy sideswiped my car. I chased him up and down the hills through the neighborhoods. I did that a lot. I chased the guy, pulled him out of his car, beat the hell out of him. But look at me now. I wobble when I walk, and sometimes I have to hold on to somebody. You have to give me time to answer questions, 'cause I have trouble remembering things."

   15. JDJoey Diaz4:57

       And he died at 43.

   16. JRJoe Rogan4:59

       43 from brain cancer.

   17. JDJoey Diaz5:01

       43.

   18. JRJoe Rogan5:01

       That's how old I am. Wow.

   19. JDJoey Diaz5:03

       And he didn't look good at the end. Like, he wore the bandanas-

   20. JRJoe Rogan5:06

       Alz- Alzado was Jewish?

   21. JDJoey Diaz5:08

       That's what it said.

   22. JRJoe Rogan5:08

       It says he was inducted into the Jewish Hall of Fame. What did it say, Bo? Go back to that, what I, what I was just reading.

   23. JDJoey Diaz5:18

       International Jewish one.

   24. JRJoe Rogan5:20

       Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. I didn't even know that existed. Okay. Uh, so I don't know if that was that stuff, that growth hormone did that, but...

   25. JDJoey Diaz5:33

       Well, listen, he's saying he can't walk at the end, he can't remember. That's the-

   26. JRJoe Rogan5:37

       It's also the hit

   27. JDJoey Diaz5:37

       ... the knocks to the head.

   28. JRJoe Rogan5:38

       Yeah.

   29. JDJoey Diaz5:38

       And mixed with whatever was going on-

   30. JRJoe Rogan5:40

       Yeah. I mean, there's a lot-
4. 6:15 – 7:16

   Austin’s Cuban Uber drivers vs. Waymo robots (and why people don’t trust them)

   1. JDJoey Diaz6:15

      As a matter of fact, I got picked up by an Uber yesterday. Guess who was the driver?

   2. JRJoe Rogan6:19

      Who?

   3. JDJoey Diaz6:19

      Yoel Romero's nephew

   4. JRJoe Rogan6:21

      No way

   5. JDJoey Diaz6:21

      And he's a judo champion

   6. JRJoe Rogan6:23

      No way

   7. JDJoey Diaz6:23

      We talked in Spanish for about 15, 20 minutes

   8. JRJoe Rogan6:25

      Was this in Jersey or here?

   9. JDJoey Diaz6:26

      Right here. He lives here

   10. JRJoe Rogan6:27

       No shit

   11. JDJoey Diaz6:27

       'Cause all these Uber drivers are Cuban

   12. JRJoe Rogan6:29

       Really?

   13. JDJoey Diaz6:29

       All of them in Austin

   14. JRJoe Rogan6:30

       They'll get them replaced by robots

   15. JDJoey Diaz6:32

       Fuck that

   16. JRJoe Rogan6:33

       Those goddamn Waymos are everywhere

   17. JDJoey Diaz6:33

       The Cubans ... Bro, I saw a Cuban yell at a robot a couple ... Last time I was here

   18. JRJoe Rogan6:37

       [laughs]

   19. JDJoey Diaz6:37

       He got out of the car yelling at the car, and he realized, "Coño, el robot." He got back in the car. "My bad-"

   20. JRJoe Rogan6:43

       That's hilarious

   21. JDJoey Diaz6:43

       "... 'cause the guy cut him off." [laughs] He's-

   22. JRJoe Rogan6:45

       They cut you off all the time, these fucking Waymos

   23. JDJoey Diaz6:46

       No, I stay away from those motherfuckers

   24. JRJoe Rogan6:47

       They get right in front of you. They're, they're ridiculous

   25. JDJoey Diaz6:50

       I don't trust those cars at all, and I don't see how people sit ... I, I don't. It's not for me, brother

   26. JRJoe Rogan6:55

       Did you hear about that lady, she got into one and a homeless guy was in the back?

   27. JDJoey Diaz6:58

       No

   28. JRJoe Rogan6:59

       Yeah, some guy used the Waymo. He got his luggage out, left the hatch open, probably figured the, the thing closed itself. It didn't. Homeless guy hopped in, shut the door. Lady gets the Waymo, there's a homeless guy in the back. He starts yelling at her for paying robots. "Why you paying robots?" [laughs]

5. 7:16 – 10:24

   Atlantic City chaos: dispensaries, yoked fans, and a homeless hustle

   1. JDJoey Diaz7:16

      I gotta tell you about my homeless situation this week, Joe

   2. JRJoe Rogan7:19

      Oh, no

   3. JDJoey Diaz7:19

      So my daughter played at Egg Harbor this weekend. It's like 25 minutes outside of Atlantic City, which is an hour and a half from my house. So we went down for Saturday's tournament. They won. Now we got two more games on Sunday, so we got a hotel. I didn't wanna get a hotel at Oceans. I'm gonna be at Oceans in August, but I didn't wanna g- go there because all the other parents were in fucking, uh, Harrah's. So I said, "Fuck it, I don't wanna be that guy. Oh, we're ... I'll stay at Harrah's with you." So the game ended, and my wife had to drive the kids somewhere, and I go, "You know what? This ..." Because every ti- every weekend when I go on those little trips, I go to a weed store. Like last week I went into one in Trenton. Dog, this was a block from the state capitol. You could see the dome. The Black guy called me back to me. He goes, "No, no, no, I got a secret place in the back." He had mushrooms, mushroom chocolate-

   4. JRJoe Rogan8:06

      Don't say this. You're gonna-

   5. JDJoey Diaz8:08

      N- they-

   6. JRJoe Rogan8:08

      ... the guy's gonna get in trouble

   7. JDJoey Diaz8:09

      ... uh, dog, there's 18 stores in, in fucking, uh, you know, you gotta figure it out

   8. JRJoe Rogan8:12

      [laughs]

   9. JDJoey Diaz8:13

      I'm not ratting nobody out. They know what's going on, the cops. They got a ba- I mean, they had packaged mushrooms, all different flavors-

   10. JRJoe Rogan8:19

       That's crazy

   11. JDJoey Diaz8:19

       ... blue, Hawaii, the whole thing. This week I go to Atlantic City. I go to this one, Evereld, whatever. It's supposed to be the big one

   12. JRJoe Rogan8:26

       The big one

   13. JDJoey Diaz8:27

       The big weed store in Atlantic City, and it's right by the casino. So as I pull up, I park my car in front. As I walk out, there's four yoked brothers, yoked with gold chains on in one of those fucking suburban millionaire cars. What do you call the big truck?

   14. JRJoe Rogan8:42

       Escalades?

   15. JDJoey Diaz8:43

       No, the other one, the, the one that looks like they're attacking your town. Not the-

   16. JRJoe Rogan8:46

       Oh, AMG G-Wagons?

   17. JDJoey Diaz8:48

       I don't fucking know. Anyway, they're in there-

   18. JRJoe Rogan8:50

       Is it a Mercedes?

   19. JDJoey Diaz8:50

       They're in there bumping shit.

   20. JRJoe Rogan8:52

       Right

   21. JDJoey Diaz8:52

       And they see me and they go, "Yo, we know you." And I go, "Yeah, what up brother? Hold on, I'll catch you on the way out." I thought by the time I got out they would leave

   22. JRJoe Rogan9:00

       Right

   23. JDJoey Diaz9:00

       So I went in. I come out and they're all outside their cars, all four brothers, yoked, big gold chains. Like, "Yo, you're the motherfucker that goes on Rogan." "Nah, that's the motherfucker from The Longest Yard. We looked you up."

   24. JRJoe Rogan9:13

       [laughs]

   25. JDJoey Diaz9:13

       So they're talking to me, talking to me, talking. We're rocking and rolling. Rogan, the UFC. "Yo, what do you think about that?" And I'm loving it. But in the middle of all this, this Black little homeless crackhead walks his way over, and I could hear him ask the other guy, "Who's this white motherfucker?" And the Black guy goes, "That's the dude from The Longest Yard, you know, the football movie." The Black guy comes over, and I see him walk right over me. He goes, "Hey, Mr. Football Man, why don't you break out a dollar for me?" He just bummed me out a dollar. I had to give him 10.

   26. JRJoe Rogan9:43

       Ah.

   27. JDJoey Diaz9:43

       I was so fucking embarrassed in front of the-

   28. JRJoe Rogan9:45

       Why don't you break out a dollar for me?

   29. JDJoey Diaz9:46

       Why don't you break out a dollar for me, Mr. Football Star?

   30. JRJoe Rogan9:49

       Ah. [laughs]
6. 10:24 – 13:26

   Why Vegas grew (and AC didn’t): mob money, Bugsy Siegel, and cash-era casinos

   1. JDJoey Diaz10:24

      And I thought by now they'd at least build up the outside of AC

   2. JRJoe Rogan10:28

      No, no, no, no, no. No, uh, it's barely making money. You know, A- AC doesn't do well, not like Vegas does. You know what I mean? Like AC's got some nice spots. You can go there and have a good time, but it's not like it's gonna grow

   3. JDJoey Diaz10:40

      You go to Borgata with the Italians and shit

   4. JRJoe Rogan10:42

      The outside is too sketchy. The outside's too sketch

   5. JDJoey Diaz10:44

      The Borgata, all the Italians-

   6. JRJoe Rogan10:45

      Yeah

   7. JDJoey Diaz10:45

      ... go down with their white shoes on the weekend. "Hey, it's Carlo. What up?" You know

   8. JRJoe Rogan10:49

      Yeah

   9. JDJoey Diaz10:49

      But nah, they ... I don't like the Borgata that much. I like the, I like the couple hotels down there

   10. JRJoe Rogan10:53

       There's some nice places

   11. JDJoey Diaz10:54

       Yeah, we stayed in the Borgata-

   12. JRJoe Rogan10:55

       But the thing is-

   13. JDJoey Diaz10:56

       ... when it first opened, you and I

   14. JRJoe Rogan10:57

       Yeah

   15. JDJoey Diaz10:57

       We had a gig there

   16. JRJoe Rogan10:58

       That's right

   17. JDJoey Diaz10:58

       We had a gig there

   18. JRJoe Rogan10:58

       That's right. The thing is, is it's not gonna grow like Vegas is, you know? It, Vegas is crazy. See, when Ve- Vegas had a head start. The thing ... Uh, like if they tried to make Vegas now, ooh, tough sell. Tough sell. Too many places to go. You can gamble everywhere. You can gamble on your phone now. But when Vegas was first, there was no casinos in the country, dog. It was just Vegas. And I wonder if they made some sort of a deal. "Well, let them blow off atomic bombs. They blow off these atomic bombs and then we'll, you know, we'll put the casinos in."

   19. JDJoey Diaz11:32

       What's the difference? We blow ourselves up

   20. JRJoe Rogan11:33

       I thought that, but then we looked it up, and it turned out they made Vegas before the atomic bomb. So I'm like, well, what ... I guess it was just gangsters. They just bribed people or convinced people. There was nothing going on there

   21. JDJoey Diaz11:46

       It was a pit stop. They opened up Vegas for a pit stop for American soldiers to stop on the way, or something like that

   22. JRJoe Rogan11:53

       Well, it was thir- was it in the '30s, right? Was it the '30s, Jamie?

   23. JDJoey Diaz11:56

       Didn't the guy that owned the Comedy Store-

   24. JRJoe Rogan11:58

       Third, uh, when Vegas was created?

   25. SPSpeaker11:59

       It started

   26. JDJoey Diaz12:00

       Yeah, ain't the guy that owned the Comedy Store-

   27. JRJoe Rogan12:02

       Yeah, Bugsy Siegel

   28. JDJoey Diaz12:02

       He, he was in charge of Vegas

   29. JRJoe Rogan12:03

       Yep, Bugsy Siegel

   30. JDJoey Diaz12:04

       And he robbed them, they shot him. That's-
7. 13:26 – 16:35

   Legal weed economics: taxes, oversupply, and the ‘Wild West’ edible era

   1. JRJoe Rogan13:26

      It was nuts. I, I read this story about the dilemma, like these people are making all this money. And the crazy thing is the state was making all that money too because the taxes on the legal weed, look this up, please.

   2. JDJoey Diaz13:38

      It's amazing.

   3. JRJoe Rogan13:39

      I think it was, like, 39%.

   4. JDJoey Diaz13:41

      It's fucking crazy.

   5. JRJoe Rogan13:42

      And everybody was like, "Sure." Like, you would never accept 39% on alcohol.

   6. JDJoey Diaz13:47

      No.

   7. JRJoe Rogan13:47

      You'd never accept 39% on ground beef.

   8. JDJoey Diaz13:49

      No, no.

   9. JRJoe Rogan13:49

      But 39% on weed, you're like, "I'll take it."

   10. JDJoey Diaz13:52

       During the pandemic in LA, you had to buy an extra tax to go open. That's why they called them, uh, what do they call those businesses that had to be open?

   11. JRJoe Rogan14:00

       Dispensaries?

   12. JDJoey Diaz14:01

       No, no, no, the businesses that they had a purpose to be open during the pandemic.

   13. JRJoe Rogan14:05

       Oh, right, essential.

   14. JDJoey Diaz14:06

       Like, essential.

   15. JRJoe Rogan14:06

       Yeah.

   16. JDJoey Diaz14:07

       They made that essential, but they-

   17. JRJoe Rogan14:08

       Yeah

   18. JDJoey Diaz14:09

       ... they charged an extra tax, 10% tax for you to open.

   19. JRJoe Rogan14:11

       Well, they're making so much money off weed in California.

   20. JDJoey Diaz14:13

       Well, now look at all the weed stores. They're starting to close.

   21. JRJoe Rogan14:16

       Are they?

   22. JDJoey Diaz14:17

       And in Jersey, they created a dilemma because the state convinced them that they had to build and all this shit. So all these places started, you know, you, you're opening up a shop minus three mil. Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get the three, three mil.

   23. JRJoe Rogan14:32

       A lot. And not only that, there's a lot of competition.

   24. JDJoey Diaz14:34

       Oh, and we-

   25. JRJoe Rogan14:35

       Like how many weed stores are in LA? It's bananas.

   26. JDJoey Diaz14:37

       Bro, in Englishtown, New Jersey, there's four of them, and here's what gets better. They're all on the same block.

   27. JRJoe Rogan14:42

       Wow. Do you, did you ever go to that place in Englewood with me back when it was, uh, only medical, the Englewood Wellness Center?

   28. JDJoey Diaz14:48

       Where you used to get the lollipops.

   29. JRJoe Rogan14:49

       Yeah.

   30. JDJoey Diaz14:49

       Yes. Yeah, I went there one time with you.
8. 16:35 – 22:38

   THC and performance: panic attacks on planes, comedy flow states, and anxiety management

   1. JDJoey Diaz16:35

      So you didn't know how many milligrams were in this stuff. And I remember eating a brownie one time and flying up to Pittsburgh on a red-eye, and my leg wouldn't stop tapping.

   2. JRJoe Rogan16:42

      [laughs]

   3. JDJoey Diaz16:43

      Like it wouldn't stop fucking tapping.

   4. JRJoe Rogan16:45

      I remember one time we were on a plane and you had a panic attack, and then you waited like an hour later and then popped two more. [laughs]

   5. JDJoey Diaz16:52

      Fuck yeah.

   6. JRJoe Rogan16:53

      I was like, "How are you doing that?"

   7. JDJoey Diaz16:55

      You're like, "Joe Rogan, I almost got off the plane. I couldn't take it. I couldn't breathe. My fucking heart was closing. It was like my chest was closing in on me. The walls were closing in. I thought the plane was gonna crash. I was freaking out. I almost had turned the fucking plane around."

   8. JRJoe Rogan17:08

      Oh, you have no idea.

   9. JDJoey Diaz17:09

      "But I'm back, baby."

   10. JRJoe Rogan17:10

       You have-

   11. JDJoey Diaz17:10

       "I just popped two more." [laughs]

   12. JRJoe Rogan17:11

       [laughs]

   13. JDJoey Diaz17:11

       Oh, you have no idea what I put myself through over the years.

   14. JRJoe Rogan17:14

       Why do you do that?

   15. JDJoey Diaz17:15

       Because I just wanna take a chance. Columbus did. I mean, I-

   16. JRJoe Rogan17:18

       [laughs]

   17. JDJoey Diaz17:18

       ... I'm sitting at home, it's 2:00 in the afternoon, you're bored as shit. You're like-

   18. JRJoe Rogan17:22

       Ah

   19. JDJoey Diaz17:22

       ... "Let's-"

   20. JRJoe Rogan17:22

       You and the devil

   21. JDJoey Diaz17:23

       ... "let's see what happens." And the only thing that would hold me back is if I had a spot that night.

   22. JRJoe Rogan17:27

       Oh, yeah.

   23. JDJoey Diaz17:28

       Then I would tame it and be like a couple hundred milligrams. But if I-

   24. JRJoe Rogan17:31

       You, you don't wanna go up on stage with too much edibles in your system.

   25. JDJoey Diaz17:34

       Yes, you do. [laughs]

   26. JRJoe Rogan17:35

       Sometimes you do.

   27. JDJoey Diaz17:35

       Yes, you do. Sometimes you need to.

   28. JRJoe Rogan17:38

       It's important sometimes. Sometimes it's important to go off into the woods, right?

   29. JDJoey Diaz17:42

       Yeah.

   30. JRJoe Rogan17:42

       Sometimes you should stay on the trail.
9. 22:38 – 31:45

   Sports betting and fight odds: DraftKings, gambling everywhere, and UFC analysis

   1. JRJoe Rogan22:38

      Do you, um, bet sports all the time? How often you bet?

   2. JDJoey Diaz22:43

      This time of the year, I bet basketball because it's real. There's defense.

   3. JRJoe Rogan22:48

      Do you use, uh, do you use, uh, an app? Like, what do you do?

   4. JDJoey Diaz22:50

      DraftKings.

   5. JRJoe Rogan22:50

      DraftKings? You do it on DraftKings?

   6. JDJoey Diaz22:51

      Just, oh, everything is on DraftKings.

   7. JRJoe Rogan22:52

      All right, you don't have a bookie.

   8. JDJoey Diaz22:54

      No.

   9. JRJoe Rogan22:55

      Yeah.

   10. JDJoey Diaz22:55

       No. I enjoy ... Because DraftKings has so many f- Like, there's bookies out there, like, they just-

   11. JRJoe Rogan23:00

       Right

   12. JDJoey Diaz23:00

       ... keep busting these mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 39 people, they had the big bust last year with the basketball coaches, that they put the cards up and you could see through the fucking cards on the table. It's a m- it's ... Gambling has grown to a fucking nightmare. We're gonna pay for this in five years. But when I went to college, after orientation, you walked out and there was credit card companies. Discover, MasterCard, Visa, and they give you a credit card for being a student for 250 automatic, right there. And now, now when you go to those orientation days, DraftKings is there.

   13. JRJoe Rogan23:34

       Hmm.

   14. JDJoey Diaz23:34

       You know, the other ones. FanDuel's there. And I'm not putting them down. I love DraftKings. But you're copping these kids. These kids don't have enough problems with fucking student loans.

   15. JRJoe Rogan23:43

       Right.

   16. JDJoey Diaz23:44

       Now I'm gonna put a fucking thing ... More people are gambling more than ever.

   17. JRJoe Rogan23:48

       Than ever.

   18. JDJoey Diaz23:49

       Than ever.

   19. JRJoe Rogan23:49

       In Australia, too. Uh-

   20. JDJoey Diaz23:51

       Ever

   21. JRJoe Rogan23:51

       ... my buddy McCann, you know James McCann?

   22. JDJoey Diaz23:52

       Yeah, ever.

   23. JRJoe Rogan23:53

       He was talking about how crazy it is in Australia. Yeah, it's, uh, it's in ... What is the s- what's the odds on the Ilia Topuria, Justin Gaethje fight at the White House?

   24. JDJoey Diaz24:04

       To pick 'em.

   25. JRJoe Rogan24:05

       Is ... No. No. Topuria has to be a, a huge favorite. I guarantee P- Topuria's two to one. Four to one. Four to one. Yeah.

   26. JDJoey Diaz24:15

       Oh my God.

   27. JRJoe Rogan24:16

       Four to one's crazy. Two to one ... If you just think about what he's done in his last three fights, he's had the most legendary run in MMA championship history in his last three fights. He knocked out three all-time greats. Knocks out- Alexander Volkanovski knocks out Max Holloway, knocks out Charles Oliveira, three in a row. Like, anybody who could do that, you go, "Well, I'm not fucking betting anything against that guy." But Justin Gaethje's a tough character, son

   28. JDJoey Diaz24:47

       He's a tough character

   29. JRJoe Rogan24:47

       The closest odds on the card, it looks like

   30. JDJoey Diaz24:48

       So if I bet 25 bucks on Gaethje, I win...
10. 31:45 – 37:30

    Weight cutting, dehydration, and the brutality of old weigh-ins

    1. JRJoe Rogan31:45

       And on top of that, no dieting, so no depleting of his body at all. You're gonna have a guy competing for the first time where he's never had to cut weight. That's huge. That's a giant advantage. Not having to cut weight is like they let you take steroids. You c- you don't have to cut weight? No cutting weight at all? If they changed weight cutting, if they cut all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd have, like, 20% better performances. People would be fighting so much better, because they would, they would feel so much healthier. They would be so much more durable. There wouldn't be as many, like, one-shot knockouts where you're like, "Whoa, that got him?" 'Cause a lot of these guys, like, their brain is still dehydrated when they're in there fighting, 'cause it's only 24 hours after they rehydrate. That's not enough time to get to the brain.

    2. JDJoey Diaz32:31

       I would go to weigh-ins with you, and these guys would come in, like, they're looking like they had cancer.

    3. JRJoe Rogan32:36

       They look dead. Yeah.

    4. JDJoey Diaz32:37

       They... I would see them, and then they would IV in the back. Then I think they cut out IVs afterwards.

    5. JRJoe Rogan32:42

       Yep, cut out IVs.

    6. JDJoey Diaz32:42

       I remember being there with you and looking at these guys coming in.

    7. JRJoe Rogan32:45

       They were dying.

    8. JDJoey Diaz32:46

       They looked like they were on that fucking GLP for 10 years.

    9. JRJoe Rogan32:50

       [laughs]

    10. JDJoey Diaz32:50

        Like fucking Sharon Osbourne's daughter.

    11. JRJoe Rogan32:52

        [laughs]

    12. JDJoey Diaz32:52

        I mean, they were looking fucked up, Jack.

    13. JRJoe Rogan32:54

        Yeah, they looked dead. Some guys looked real... You remember when Anderson Silva fought Travis Lutter? Do you remember that fight?

    14. JDJoey Diaz32:59

        Yeah, the jujitsu guy from Texas?

    15. JRJoe Rogan33:01

        Exactly.

    16. JDJoey Diaz33:01

        Yes.

    17. JRJoe Rogan33:02

        He... That was the worst I ever saw anybody at a weigh-in.

    18. JDJoey Diaz33:05

        He looked really fucking skin-

    19. JRJoe Rogan33:06

        And again, this was not the ceremonial weigh-in like we have now. This was, like, the actual weigh-in, see if you can make the weight. And Travis couldn't walk. He was shuffling. He couldn't pick his legs up. His, his lips were cracked. Like, he, his body was dried out.

    20. JDJoey Diaz33:19

        That can't be good for you, like-

    21. JRJoe Rogan33:20

        Oh

    22. JDJoey Diaz33:20

        ... and then to pick it back up and then go throw rounds.

    23. JRJoe Rogan33:23

        Exactly.

    24. JDJoey Diaz33:23

        Throw punches at 8:00 the next night.

    25. JRJoe Rogan33:26

        Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted, but he got ahold of Anderson the first round and took him down, and that's what he wanted to do, and if Travis Lutter-

    26. JDJoey Diaz33:33

        He's Brazilian jujitsu in Texas?

    27. JRJoe Rogan33:34

        Yeah. Yeah.

    28. JDJoey Diaz33:34

        He has a school?

    29. JRJoe Rogan33:35

        He's, um, Kevin Holland's, uh, coach.

    30. JDJoey Diaz33:37

        Oh, shit. Is he?
11. 37:30 – 50:09

    Injury realities and the supplement stack: peptides, nootropics, creatine, and aging memory

    1. JDJoey Diaz37:30

       You still training?

    2. JRJoe Rogan37:31

       No.

    3. JDJoey Diaz37:31

       With a private? No more?

    4. JRJoe Rogan37:32

       No, I haven't... Over a year, I haven't done any rolling.

    5. JDJoey Diaz37:33

       I thought you had a guy coming in with you.

    6. JRJoe Rogan37:35

       I was for a while. I've a, I got a knee problem. Uh, it's much better now. I've been really working on it over the last six months, but it kept swelling after a while. The, the thing is, it would get better and, uh, I'd feel, it would feel pretty good, and then I'd hurt it again. And usually... I hurt it, like, a year ago hunting. I twisted it hunting. And then, um, I've, I've also hurt it, like, hitting the bag, too. Like, sometimes I just start wailing on the bag.

    7. JDJoey Diaz38:01

       You go off and you forget.

    8. JRJoe Rogan38:01

       Yeah.

    9. JDJoey Diaz38:02

       You forget.

    10. JRJoe Rogan38:02

        And it's just the next day it's sore as fuck. It's like I don't have meniscus on one part of my knee, so I have to make sure that it doesn't get arthritic. You know what I mean? Because, like, I don't have to tell you, like, once your knee gets bad, it's a real problem.

    11. JDJoey Diaz38:14

        It's a problem.

    12. JRJoe Rogan38:15

        And so you gotta, like, walk that edge between when you don't have cartilage or you don't have, um, meniscus and your cartilage is getting bone on bone like that, like, you gotta be careful. You gotta be careful. They're getting real close to fixing shit. Real close. They're injecting, like, different kinds of gels in people's knees now that re- replace the meniscus, and they're also doing some new stem cell therapy where they go into the bone itself and it regenerates cartilage.

    13. JDJoey Diaz38:41

        That might be better. But that gel, they always work you with that gel.

    14. JRJoe Rogan38:44

        I think it's a new one, Joey. It's a, it's like a, it's, they call it a biological matrix.

    15. JDJoey Diaz38:49

        Right. You, you need to fucking get, like, a p- you need to get, like, a, uh, insurance approval and all that. Yeah, I did it. That's just... All those things. It's like when you see an ad for somebody.

    16. JRJoe Rogan38:59

        Mm-hmm.

    17. JDJoey Diaz38:59

        "Do you have problems sleeping? Buy this mouthpiece for $29.99." Or-

    18. JRJoe Rogan39:04

        I don't think you got what they have now, because this is just released in Germany.

    19. JDJoey Diaz39:08

        No, no, no. I'm just talking about-

    20. JRJoe Rogan39:09

        This is, this is brand new

    21. JDJoey Diaz39:10

        ... but this gel, like I'm just saying to you, the gel, the cortisone. I have friends with knee problems.

    22. JRJoe Rogan39:16

        Uh-huh.

    23. JDJoey Diaz39:16

        And they tell me what they go through, and they go to different doctors, and it's the same fucking, "We got cortisone for you. We got the gel. We're not gonna do the PRP, and we don't do stem cell." So you, Joe Regular, you don't do no reading. This is what happened to me with the fucking why I did the surgery in the first place. You had moved here, and I didn't know about Ways To World. If not, I wouldn't have never cut this knee the first time.

    24. JRJoe Rogan39:40

        Hmm.

    25. JDJoey Diaz39:41

        Never. Never. I didn't read up on it because when my wife was pregnant, I read up on all that shit and I was, I didn't wanna have the baby no more, 'cause it said once you're over 43, you'll die if you're giving birth. Like, so if you're not ready when you get older as a woman. You know, now women are having kids at 50s and fucking 55s.

    26. JRJoe Rogan40:02

        Hmm.

    27. JDJoey Diaz40:02

        But a woman has to be the... She has, like, a short window.

    28. JRJoe Rogan40:05

        Right.

    29. JDJoey Diaz40:05

        Then they have a lot of things that could go wrong with the pregnancy. When I read that, I got nervous for my wife. I'm like, "She's gonna die on the fucking table, and I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't know how to fucking raise a girl. You know, man, what am I gonna do here?" So I didn't really... I researched it a little bit. After I got the knee... After I went and I saw the fucking, the chisel and the fucking mallet on the table, I go, "We gotta look into this when I get out of here. Like, this is fucking insane." I would've never done the redo knee. I would've waited, shot it with stem cell, BPC'd it.

    30. JRJoe Rogan40:38

        Mm-hmm.
12. 50:09 – 1:02:41

    Beating drug tests (badly): vinegar, Certo, Drano—and the probation saga

    1. JDJoey Diaz50:09

       Like iodine. You ever take iodine?

    2. JRJoe Rogan50:10

       No. Iodine?

    3. JDJoey Diaz50:11

       Yeah. Like, you, there's a pill or something, you take iodine to help you-

    4. JRJoe Rogan50:14

       You're supposed to do that if you get radiation poisoning

    5. JDJoey Diaz50:16

       ... listen, when the first piss test came out, they said you would take iodine.

    6. JRJoe Rogan50:21

       [laughs]

    7. JDJoey Diaz50:21

       So again, I-

    8. JRJoe Rogan50:21

       Did you put Clorox in your dick? [laughs]

    9. JDJoey Diaz50:23

       I put Clorox in my dick afterward because the iodine obviously didn't fucking work, okay? [laughs]

    10. JRJoe Rogan50:29

        [laughs] Can you imagine when they ran your piss through the fucking test machine, they'd be like, "What? What i- what is this?"

    11. JDJoey Diaz50:35

        Do you understand-

    12. JRJoe Rogan50:36

        "This isn't piss." [laughs]

    13. JDJoey Diaz50:37

        Do you understand, like, when, there's times I go, every morning I go out, I take my cup of coffee and I sit outside. I thank God, you know, the whole fucking bullshit story, and then it takes me somewhere. Like, after the second cup of coffee and one of these zins and a bong hit, your mind goes somewhere, and I think of chunks of my life and I go, "What the fuck was that?"

    14. JRJoe Rogan50:58

        Mm.

    15. JDJoey Diaz50:59

        Like, that was Joe. That was insanity. What about every time he used to come to my house to do the checkup, I never let him in. He came, like, 11 times in two years. I never let him in my house.

    16. JRJoe Rogan51:11

        [laughs]

    17. JDJoey Diaz51:11

        He wouldn't know I was in the house. He would put the sheriffs to come and sit outside my house for two hours.

    18. JRJoe Rogan51:16

        [laughs]

    19. JDJoey Diaz51:17

        Then they would leave. They're like, "We're not gonna... He's not home." I never let him in my house. I tortured that guy.

    20. JRJoe Rogan51:23

        That's hilarious.

    21. JDJoey Diaz51:23

        He could have sent me to prison. I still would've been in prison, but it was such a... Like, first it was the iodine, and then you fucking, you know, you're supposed to take 20 milligrams.

    22. JRJoe Rogan51:33

        Yeah.

    23. JDJoey Diaz51:33

        I mean, 200, whatever. I don't know. And my skin is burning. I'm fucking red in the face. I got itchies. So I stopped with the iodine. I still came back positive. Then I went on the fucking, uh, white vinegar.

    24. JRJoe Rogan51:46

        White vinegar?

    25. JDJoey Diaz51:47

        White vinegar with a fucking bottle of Gatorade on a Monday morning. Not a little vinegar, not red wine vinegar, the real vinegar that you clean your asshole with.

    26. JRJoe Rogan51:57

        [laughs]

    27. JDJoey Diaz51:58

        And douchebags and all that shit.

    28. JRJoe Rogan52:00

        Oh.

    29. JDJoey Diaz52:00

        Vinegar cleans you out. That's what w- women wash their monkey with vinegar because it takes all the fucking cat piss out of there and all the shit they got in there.

    30. JRJoe Rogan52:08

        [laughs]
13. 1:02:41 – 1:07:30

    Boulder guilt and old crimes: chaos, shame, and the idea of making amends

    1. JDJoey Diaz1:02:41

       Like, it's 31 years, and I still won't go back to Boulder because of the shame I endured.

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:02:45

       [laughs]

    3. JDJoey Diaz1:02:46

       Seriously. Like, I won't go. And everybody goes, "Why don't you go back to Boulder?" Because I'm ashamed that that was such a beautiful city, and I treated it like it was Newark.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:02:54

       Right. Right.

    5. JDJoey Diaz1:02:55

       Like, I did what I wanted. I would go to Kmart and hang out outside of fucking the, the lawnmower department, and people would come out with new lawnmowers, and the receipt would fly off. I'd get that receipt and go to Longmont and get that lawnmower for 400 and walk it up and go, "My mother bought me this. I don't want it no more." And I'd give them the receipt, and they'd give me 400 cash plus, plus tax. Who does that? That fucking Toys "R" Us, I took that thing down by myself with those Jeffrey bucks.

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:03:21

       [laughs]

    7. JDJoey Diaz1:03:22

       I took them down.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:03:22

       What's a Jeffrey buck?

    9. JDJoey Diaz1:03:23

       They, it's like when you bring a, a stolen computer in there, and they give you, they won't give you cash. They'll give you Jeffrey bucks. So you have to spend it on, in the fucking store.

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:03:31

        Oh.

    11. JDJoey Diaz1:03:32

        You know how many... I had a million dollars in Jeffrey bucks at one time.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:03:34

        [laughs]

    13. JDJoey Diaz1:03:34

        I was buying bicycles and fucking...

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:03:36

        [laughs]

    15. JDJoey Diaz1:03:37

        It's just, it just, I was an animal, and I feel really guilty about it today. I'm thinking of booking the Fox Theatre in Boulder-

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:03:45

        Yeah

    17. JDJoey Diaz1:03:45

        ... and doing, like, 'cause La Disia's opening back up, my Italian joint. So they called, and they said, "We're opening back up." And I'm like, "I'm thinking of doing Boulder, like Fox Theatre. Just take my lumps, apologize, donate to something there, and just call it a fucking night." 'Cause I still feel guilty, man. I'm old, but now I feel guilty about the damage. I put Boulder through fucking eight... I mean, I got chased through the mall by security, and I'm throwing fucking CDs at them.

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:04:09

        [laughs]

    19. JDJoey Diaz1:04:10

        I remember the Denver Broncos were playing Cleveland in '87, those big playoff games. Do you remember those, Jamie?

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:04:15

        Yeah.

    21. JDJoey Diaz1:04:15

        Talking about the mall one day, and everybody's in the hallway looking at TVs. I'm like, "Who's minding the stores?" I went into RadioShack, and I popped out the fucking CD player, brand new one, and just put the quarter on it and walked out like nothing. Who does that, dog?

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:04:28

        [laughs]

    23. JDJoey Diaz1:04:28

        That's animal, and I'm, I'm ashamed to admit this shit, but it was like you said. When you first went to Boulder the first time, you're like, "This must have been a fucking grocery store for Joey Diaz." And it was.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:04:39

        That's exactly what I said when I went there. [laughs]

    25. JDJoey Diaz1:04:42

        It was. It was a shame.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:04:42

        Everybody's so, they're so, like, peaceful and sweet.

    27. JDJoey Diaz1:04:48

        I brought chaos.

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:04:49

        Yeah.

    29. JDJoey Diaz1:04:50

        Chaos. And it was too much. When I was in the prison, I brought chaos in there. I had my cell open. I did what I wanted. It was just too much. And I, to this day, it's... New York, you can shit like that because that's what New York is about. I was a fucking piece of shit in New York, too, but I don't feel guilty about that. I still walk around the city now.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:05:08

        But so many pieces of shit in New York.
14. 1:07:30 – 1:24:14

    What comedy built: broke beginnings, gratitude, helping others, and ‘karma business’

    1. JDJoey Diaz1:07:30

       Let me ask you something. If you wouldn't have gotten into this fucking thing, what would you, what would you think you'd be doing now?

    2. JRJoe Rogan1:07:35

       If I hadn't gotten into which one?

    3. JDJoey Diaz1:07:36

       This thing that we're doing. Stand-up comedy.

    4. JRJoe Rogan1:07:39

       The podcast?

    5. JDJoey Diaz1:07:39

       No.

    6. JRJoe Rogan1:07:39

       Oh, stand-up comedy.

    7. JDJoey Diaz1:07:40

       Stand-up comedy opened up everything else.

    8. JRJoe Rogan1:07:40

       What would I be doing? Uh, I don't know, man. I don't know. I probably would've fought again.

    9. JDJoey Diaz1:07:45

       Would you be a chef? Would you be ... I mean, I could paint you as a chef. You love to cook.

    10. JRJoe Rogan1:07:50

        Yeah, I do love to cook.

    11. JDJoey Diaz1:07:51

        Um, a chef.

    12. JRJoe Rogan1:07:52

        I would-

    13. JDJoey Diaz1:07:52

        A mason

    14. JRJoe Rogan1:07:52

        ... I would've found something that I enjoyed doing.

    15. JDJoey Diaz1:07:55

        What?

    16. JRJoe Rogan1:07:56

        I don't know. I would've figured it out.

    17. JDJoey Diaz1:07:57

        What's your second love?

    18. JRJoe Rogan1:07:58

        The, the real problem would be if I had a kid real young. So if, uh, you know, I know a bunch of my friends got married and had kids when they were like 22, 23. The pro- I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. [clears throat] But then that really limits your ability to just go for it, 'cause you have mouths to feed. That's a different animal. You know, I, I think about the early days of stand-up when I was 21, and how I had zero money. I mean zero.

    19. JDJoey Diaz1:08:23

        Zero.

    20. JRJoe Rogan1:08:23

        I had zero money. I barely could eat. [clears throat] I remember I had a, a big fucking jar of pennies and nickels, dimes and shit, and I remember rolling it all up so I could go get a sandwich. Like, I had no money. And so I r- I could imagine, like, if I was trying to do that, I said, "Well, I'm just gonna live like this for a couple years, and I think if I work hard enough, I could eventually start making money doing stand-up. And if I keep getting better, maybe I could be a professional." You know, that was the idea. It was never like, have a career. But if I had a kid and I had a wife, uh, there's no way I would've done it. [clears throat] There's no way. I would have to have gotten a job. And that's where a lot of people get into. You know, or maybe you think it's gonna be a good investment to get a house. It- which it is, but now you've got a mortgage. So you got a mortgage, you can't just fucking lose everything. I, I got my car repossessed. I was broke, man.

    21. JDJoey Diaz1:09:15

        [laughs]

    22. JRJoe Rogan1:09:15

        I was broke.

    23. JDJoey Diaz1:09:16

        Bro, I used to have to hide my clinical rush, they would repossess it.

    24. JRJoe Rogan1:09:19

        [laughs]

    25. JDJoey Diaz1:09:20

        Shit.

    26. JRJoe Rogan1:09:21

        Yeah. I mean, it was d- 100% check to check.

    27. JDJoey Diaz1:09:24

        I don't know-

    28. JRJoe Rogan1:09:24

        Never had any money in the bank

    29. JDJoey Diaz1:09:25

        ... I don't know if this ever happens to you, but it happens to me a lot now. And this is why I started this grateful shit, because there are days I pull up to my house, I don't know who lives there.

    30. JRJoe Rogan1:09:37

        Yeah.
15. 1:24:14 – 1:35:25

    How Joey ‘found the switch’: being himself on stage, Mooney’s influence, and Brando’s cue-card trick

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:24:14

       But you did figure out how to do something on stage. That was the switch. And the switch was you figured out how to be Joey Diaz in the parking lot on stage.

    2. JDJoey Diaz1:24:23

       In, in stage.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:24:24

       So-

    4. JDJoey Diaz1:24:24

       That was the ... That was killing me.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:24:25

       But it went like that.

    6. JDJoey Diaz1:24:27

       Like that.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:24:27

       I never saw anybody flip a switch from struggling on stage to crushing like you. I was like, "This is wild."

    8. JDJoey Diaz1:24:35

       And I'm gonna tell you some of the reasons. I was too focused on material. You're too focused on your fucking material. And you know what? At the end of the day, your material sucks. I've heard it already. And that's what I would think in my mind. So I would do better when I went up there just with one thought and attacked it.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:24:53

       Mm.

    10. JDJoey Diaz1:24:54

        Do you know what I mean? I mean, it's hard to explain what I'm saying to you.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:24:57

        Yeah. No, you ... What you, what you did was you treated the audience like they were your boys and we're all hanging out versus treat the audience like, "I'm a comic. Here's some jokes." Like when you first started, when I first ... When did I meet you? In '96?

    12. JDJoey Diaz1:25:13

        '97.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:25:13

        '97. When I first met you, you were doing jokes.

    14. JDJoey Diaz1:25:17

        Right.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:25:18

        Like you would go on stage and do jokes.

    16. JDJoey Diaz1:25:19

        And I would focus on the jokes on that paper.

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:25:21

        Yeah. Yeah.

    18. JDJoey Diaz1:25:21

        Don't focus on that. At 11:30 at the store, your jokes don't mean shit. They just saw three hours of top-notch comedy. What are you bringing to the table? You're gonna go up there and tell me what I saw on the news? And who taught us that? Paul Mooney, how to relax. He would just go up there, and in my mind, he was just vibing with the audience

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:25:41

        He did a lot of that, yeah

    20. JDJoey Diaz1:25:42

        And it worked, and I took that realm of relax

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:25:47

        Mooney taught us a lot

    22. JDJoey Diaz1:25:48

        Relax

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:25:49

        He was a real veteran. You know, he was like one of the only guys when we were there that was there during the prior years

    24. JDJoey Diaz1:25:55

        The prior years

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:25:55

        And was respected. He wasn't like one of those... There was a few guys that were still hanging around that had-

    26. JDJoey Diaz1:26:01

        No, no, no

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:26:01

        ... literally acts from the 1980s

    28. JDJoey Diaz1:26:03

        Garbage. They were still doing like Bruce Springsteen jokes. No

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:26:05

        Oh, it was terri- it was just bad

    30. JDJoey Diaz1:26:06

        But his laid back-
16. 1:35:25 – 1:52:19

    Post-break: peeing, handicapped parking, PT discipline, MRSA scares, and new pain procedures

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:35:25

       Ooh. And we're back.

    2. JDJoey Diaz1:35:28

       That was a tremendous pee.

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:35:30

       [laughs]

    4. JDJoey Diaz1:35:30

       Oh my God. That-

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:35:31

       'Cause the worst is when you're trying to concentrate and you have to piss. Like you-

    6. JDJoey Diaz1:35:34

       No, that's the worst

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:35:35

       ... you can't form a sentence.

    8. JDJoey Diaz1:35:36

       That's the fucking worst.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:35:37

       You can't relax.

    10. JDJoey Diaz1:35:37

        When you have to drive and you shit and you gotta pee.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:35:39

        Oh.

    12. JDJoey Diaz1:35:39

        And I'm to an age where I just pull over.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:35:42

        Yeah. Side of the road.

    14. JDJoey Diaz1:35:43

        Highway, whatever. I pull, I open up the both doors and I make believe I'm looking for something.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:35:47

        [laughs]

    16. JDJoey Diaz1:35:47

        And that dick is out peeing. Like, I pee on the Little League field. And now I got, after surgery, they gave me a handicapped parking. I'm living like a doctor.

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:35:56

        [laughs]

    18. JDJoey Diaz1:35:57

        You don't know what life is until you have handicapped parking, dog. You just pull right up and people look at you.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:36:02

        There's always a spot?

    20. JDJoey Diaz1:36:04

        Always.

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:36:05

        Yeah.

    22. JDJoey Diaz1:36:06

        Like four feet away.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:36:07

        That's nice.

    24. JDJoey Diaz1:36:07

        When I got in the mail, dog, I was happy as ... That made me so happy. Fuck walking. When I go to events now in Philadelphia, I just pull up and shit. Put a neck brace on, walk out and shit. Oh, it's been beautiful, Joe.

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:36:22

        What do you have to do to get one of those?

    26. JDJoey Diaz1:36:23

        The doctor.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:36:24

        That's it? So like what did you tell him?

    28. JDJoey Diaz1:36:25

        The doctor was like, "Oh, do you have it after surgery? I can get it for you for six months."

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:36:29

        Oh.

    30. JDJoey Diaz1:36:29

        And then he goes, "Hold on one second." He went online and he's like, "Dog, you qualify for everything. You got everything on this list. Everything. Go." And they gave it to me for fucking, like, three years.
17. 1:52:19 – 2:24:58

    Mushrooms, stutters, and the next phase of life: psychedelics, allergies, and screen addiction

    1. JRJoe Rogan1:52:19

       Did you hear about that lady who had Alzheimer's, she couldn't talk anymore, they gave her five grams of psilocybin mushrooms-

    2. JDJoey Diaz1:52:26

       And she's singing opera now

    3. JRJoe Rogan1:52:28

       ... all of a sudden she came back.

    4. JDJoey Diaz1:52:29

       It's unbelievable.

    5. JRJoe Rogan1:52:29

       Started talking. They said she hadn't talked in a long time. She could remember things.

    6. JDJoey Diaz1:52:36

       I know for a fact, I got a good buddy of mine that stuttered, that was his childhood thing. Every time he smoked crack, you should have seen that motherfucker, not a strut in there. He talks to you straight.

    7. JRJoe Rogan1:52:46

       Paul, you know Paul Stamets, the mushroom expert? He's been on this podcast many times.

    8. JDJoey Diaz1:52:50

       No, no.

    9. JRJoe Rogan1:52:50

       He's a, an, a legitimate mycologist, like a scientist. He had a horrible stutter when he was a kid. Took 10 grams.

    10. JDJoey Diaz1:52:57

        Gone.

    11. JRJoe Rogan1:52:58

        Gone.

    12. JDJoey Diaz1:52:58

        Gone. It's unreal. And people will still go, "No, no, mushrooms are deadly. They're gonna kill you." Fuck you.

    13. JRJoe Rogan1:53:04

        Isn't that crazy?

    14. JDJoey Diaz1:53:04

        You need to see the devil every once in a while in your life.

    15. JRJoe Rogan1:53:07

        [laughs]

    16. JDJoey Diaz1:53:07

        And that's what people don't, they don't see the downside, because eating those mushrooms from time to time makes you step out, like THC does, and makes you look at yourself, and make like a judgment call on what the fuck you're doing with your life. That's what-

    17. JRJoe Rogan1:53:19

        What are you doing with your life? Are you chewing that fucking Zyn and talking at the same time? [laughs]

    18. JDJoey Diaz1:53:21

        Yeah. I don't know. I don't have big enough fucking gums, I guess. I don't know. It don't stay there.

    19. JRJoe Rogan1:53:26

        Yeah, it's, I, the, the real problem is that it's illegal. You know what they should do with that? You know what they did with Colorado with 39% tax? Make mushrooms 100%. Tax it 100%. We'll still buy 'em, people will still buy 'em. Make it legal, tax it 100%. You know how much fucking money they would generate? And I guarantee you ... Well, I was gonna say people wouldn't be doing more mushrooms, but they definitely would.

    20. JDJoey Diaz1:53:50

        If you grew-

    21. JRJoe Rogan1:53:50

        But it'd be good for everybody

    22. JDJoey Diaz1:53:51

        ... listen, the only thing that stalls people from mushrooms is the taste. Most people put it in the grinder, and then they put it in capsules, and they do it that way. All different things.

    23. JRJoe Rogan1:53:59

        There's, that should not be a hurdle in 2026.

    24. JDJoey Diaz1:54:00

        When you told me you were gonna get that property a couple years ago, which you didn't get-

    25. JRJoe Rogan1:54:05

        Mm-hmm

    26. JDJoey Diaz1:54:05

        ... I thought you were gonna grow mushrooms out there. Like, get somebody to set it up, and Joe Rogan's Mushrooms.

    27. JRJoe Rogan1:54:10

        Well, I would never do that.

    28. JDJoey Diaz1:54:11

        With your fucking recipe, like.

    29. JRJoe Rogan1:54:13

        No, it's, that's, that's not legal. I would, uh, always get it from-

    30. JDJoey Diaz1:54:17

        Not in Texas, I mean.

Episode duration: 2:45:37