Goldie Hawn: “I Had to See a Psychologist” Her 8-Year Journey in Combating Anxiety & Panic Attacks

Goldie Hawn 0:00 I started having panic attacks. I did not feel comfortable. I didn't wanna go to Hollywood, I didn't wanna be that person, I didn't wanna be a star, certainly. My next guest you all know.

Speaker 0:12 One of the best and most unique performers to ever grace the screen.

Goldie Hawn 0:16 Would you welcome Goldie Hawn. Goldie Hawn. I started meditating. It was the most extraordinary experience for me to get out of my head and into my heart.

Lewis Howes 0:27 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 0:28 And it, I just could feel my heart beating. I f- I kind of met myself again. Happiness is not anything from the outside. Happiness is what you build on the inside.

Lewis Howes 0:42 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 0:43 The only thing that I did write in my diary was, "I wonder if I'll ever find a man that will love my children the way I do." I wondered, you know, I wondered if it was possible.

Lewis Howes 0:55 What do you think is the biggest lessons that your kids have taught you?

Goldie Hawn 0:58 I remember the way they made me feel helped me see perhaps, God, I wish I'd have been there more. They are the most important pieces of my life.

Lewis Howes 1:11 Did you always feel like you had a good sense of self-love?

Goldie Hawn 1:15 That's a really interesting question because I haven't been asked that. Did you always have self-love? Um.

Lewis Howes 1:25 Welcome back everyone to School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring and iconic Goldie Hawn in the house. So good to see you.

Goldie Hawn 1:32 Thank you.

Lewis Howes 1:32 Welcome.

Goldie Hawn 1:33 Thanks, sweetie. I'm so happy to be here.

Lewis Howes 1:35 Thank you for being here.

Goldie Hawn 1:36 I love this. I love The School of Greatness.

Lewis Howes 1:37 Thank you very much.

Goldie Hawn 1:38 Yeah. We all can be great if we focus on that and have sort of a pathway to b- believe in yourself.

Lewis Howes 1:45 100%.

Goldie Hawn 1:45 So I love what you're sharing with everybody.

Lewis Howes 1:47 Thank you very much. Uh, you have such a... I, I told my fiancee that you were coming on and she was like, "Man, I'm, she's such an icon, she's so inspiring, and she's done so much." But the thing that I think is really inspiring and impressive is how you've been able to be successful in your career, and especially in Hollywood, which is a challenging industry to be in, while also thriving in, you know, an intimate relationship for such a long term. And we were telling, we were talking before off-camera-

Goldie Hawn 2:16 Yeah

Lewis Howes 2:16 ... that your kids still wanna hang out with you, and they wanna spend time with you and be close to you. And I was saying, "That is a true measure of success, when you can live your dreams and your kids still wanna be with you as they're adults."

Goldie Hawn 2:30 Yes. It's, it's just the greatest gift in the world, you know. We live very close to each other, and we can walk to each other's houses mostly. Oliver lives a little further down and w- and Boston a little further up. But nevertheless, I mean, it's been amazing to have that gift. I thought, "Oh, my God," but when we were, when the kids were really younger, even if we got a boat or something to be on, they just wanted us to be on it. "Don't invite anybody else, just have us on it."

Lewis Howes 2:56 Really?

Goldie Hawn 2:56 "'Cause we have more fun."

Goldie Hawn 2:58 I mean, we have so much fun together, and we laugh together. I don't know, I'm just so blessed.

Lewis Howes 3:03 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 3:03 And now my grandchildren are all together. So it's, um... What makes you, one, happier, at least I can speak from my point of view, than, than, than our family?

Lewis Howes 3:15 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 3:16 I don't think... I, I don't even imagine my life without that. That's the main thing. Somebody asked me once, 'cause I'm doing a lot of things that could create what you call a legacy. "So, you know, what, what would you call your legacy?" And I said, "My children."

Lewis Howes 3:34 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 3:35 My children are our legacy. That's the greatest thing you can put into the world are healthy, happy, productive children. And we're doing okay [laughs] .

Lewis Howes 3:46 What's been the... I mean, with you being able to pursue your career and your dreams and be a- an actress at the highest level, how do you raise healthy kids while you're also busy and driven in your career as well? How did you do it?

Goldie Hawn 4:01 Well, u- use your instincts, you know. I mean, listen, I did Private Benjamin. Katey was, you know, in my arms. I was feeding her. She was, uh, you know, nine months old. So the, the reality here is, is that you do what you can.

Lewis Howes 4:15 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 4:16 I think, I think it's like having children, it's like playing baseball. You never take your eye off the ball.

Lewis Howes 4:24 That's good [laughs] . That's true.

Goldie Hawn 4:25 You know?

Lewis Howes 4:25 Interesting.

Goldie Hawn 4:26 You, you never take your eye off the ball. That's the problem, because even if I was working, I would connect to my kids, I'd find out what they ate, I'd make sure, do, you know, and I'd try to get home before their bath. Um, this is an area they know when you're not present and they know when you are, and you can't lie to them.

Lewis Howes 4:46 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 4:47 So, you know, just try to be the best you can be, and we're not perfect. So that's the... I think intention to be the best parent you can be is pretty much all, all we can do.

Lewis Howes 4:59 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 5:00 I mean, you say, oh, you go to the park, or oh, we play together, or we do this together. But love is, is everything. That builds happier brains, I can tell you.

Lewis Howes 5:12 100%.

Goldie Hawn 5:12 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 5:13 Now, did you always feel like you had a good sense of self-love your entire career, or in previous relationships that maybe weren't working out? How do you keep that sense of self-love and project it on your kids when maybe you're not going through a good situation?

Goldie Hawn 5:29 That's a really interesting question, um, because I haven't been asked that.

Lewis Howes 5:33 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 5:34 Did you always have self-love? Um, I had my insecurities. I m- I didn't think I was very pretty. I was flat-chested. Um, I was, you know, not what the g- the girl that the guys looked at. Um, but I never, I never lost self-love.

Lewis Howes 5:58 Really?

Goldie Hawn 5:59 No. I mean, there are, uh, you know, sit- situations you get out of, and I've had a heck of a lot of them. Uh, but I, I don't think ... I never thought I could do it. I always felt I could do it. And that's believing in yourself. You know, I was left off on 10th Avenue when I was 18 going to New York to dance at the World's Fair, so I had my first job, and I had nowhere to stay because the people

Goldie Hawn 6:25 I was supposed to stay with left for the summer. And I'm [laughs] sitting there on 10th Avenue going, "Now what do I do?" And that's kind of who I am, right? Let's solve the problem. You know, let's not go too much about the I in all there. Let's just try to get me a place to stay tonight.

Lewis Howes 6:42 How did you ... Where did you go then?

Goldie Hawn 6:43 I went to my dance teacher and my choreographer, and I stayed with him for about three days until I found an apartment.

Lewis Howes 6:50 Wow. So you went to the next best solution. What's the next best thing to, to try?

Goldie Hawn 6:55 Yes, exactly. Solution-oriented sort of, um, s- how my brain works. So if there's something going wrong, uh, like a film that I was directing at one point, uh, after I was filming, it was called Hope, it was for Turner. Um, I, I then, I, I had, was having just the best time. It was ... I loved it. However, um, one night, um, I was, they'd done this incredible scene, and the scene that I had to do had, was all edited, all ... We had to, you know, do a lot of editing on it and it was really a long scene and it was done all day, with kids fighting and all this stuff going on. And what happened was is that someone came at lu- dinner and said, "Oh my God, we've lost the entire day." Because the film, at that time it was film, and that was exposed. When that was exposed I asked everybody to leave my trailer so I could start thinking of a solution. Instead of getting flappable and angry and who did this and who did that, we just have to create solutions to our life. It isn't poor me, it's how I'm gonna actually execute m- me. So that's what happened, and it actually turned out better, having cut it and then brought it outside and shot it in one shot.

Lewis Howes 8:09 Interesting.

Goldie Hawn 8:10 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 8:10 Redoing it-

Goldie Hawn 8:11 Redoing it

Lewis Howes 8:11 ... made it better.

Goldie Hawn 8:12 Redoing it. So, you know, things ... We think things are terrible, and if we really take a look at them, they're not as bad as it seems.

Lewis Howes 8:19 Mm-hmm. Wow. Now, do y- So did you feel like you always had self-love maybe in, in earlier relationships that weren't working out, or marriages that weren't working out? Did you keep that sense of self-love?

Goldie Hawn 8:31 Um, w- interesting. I felt, I felt frustrated in, in some of those relationships. My first relationship that I had was, um, we were both dancers, and that was awesome.

Lewis Howes 8:46 Yeah. [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 8:47 And he's Greek, and I loved the Greeks. That was a big Greek period for me. And he, he is, he's wonderful, and he's gifted, and he was a dancer, and so was I. The problem that happens in that is that you don't lose necessarily love, but the, the life is changing. Because I couldn't walk into a room, it was Laugh-In period, and I couldn't walk into a room without people looking at me. I'm saying that because it was h- You know, it was all like, boom, what happened to that person? It was like it blew up.

Lewis Howes 9:19 You blew up.

Goldie Hawn 9:20 Yeah, I blew up.

Lewis Howes 9:22 Yeah.

Goldie Hawn 9:22 And that's not fun to have a partner who isn't blowing up.

Lewis Howes 9:26 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 9:27 And, and I could say he was doing amazingly well and

Goldie Hawn 9:30 so forth, but it's just, it's a crazy thing. You d- Doesn't ... There's no balance there, and that wasn't f- pleasant for him.

Lewis Howes 9:39 Do you think it's possible for someone in a relationship when they're both not well known, where one can all of a sudden get a lot of notoriety or fame or success or an abundance of something, and the other one hasn't grown there, can they still make it work, do you think? Or is-

Goldie Hawn 9:55 It's very hard.

Lewis Howes 9:56 It's very hard.

Goldie Hawn 9:59 Especially ... Well, I mean, there, there's, you know, degrees of success, right? Um, s- it's very hard and, and people who are, you know, outward-facing that you see that are famous or whatever, because there's no secrecy anymore. You can't hold back, you can't wish now not to be so exposed. You, you, you can't anymore. So everything eats away a little bit at a time. If you don't have s- or inner stability, then it'll eat a- it can eat away at you. There's no doubt about it. We're not made of steel. You know, and, uh, we're flesh and-

Lewis Howes 10:34 And there's, and there's no much of, like reinforcing of that person, of like, "Oh, it's, everything's good." If they're not feeling good about themselves-

Goldie Hawn 10:41 Exactly.

Lewis Howes 10:42 Interesting.

Goldie Hawn 10:42 And it can undermine self-esteem, undermine sense of self.

Lewis Howes 10:46 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 10:46 Um, and that's, that's just not good. I mean, everybody needs to find a purpose, everybody needs to find, uh, their center, and, uh, and sometimes you can get off balance, you know, when you're with a partner that, you know, is, uh, so celebrated. And with that comes money.

Lewis Howes 11:04 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 11:05 And money is a, a, v- very tough, okay? So when y- The whole idea of money has so much power. Just the idea of money creates power. So the, you know, the, uh, it, it, uh, ha- having a lot of money and gaining money is really, sounds really good, and back in the day I remember thinking, "Well, we'll just put everything in a pot." And I was so young. I mean, I was 23 or something.

Lewis Howes 11:30 And kind of share it together, you know?

Goldie Hawn 11:32 And yeah, just throw it in a pot, you know? We'll do this, we'll do this, and it'll all be cool.

Lewis Howes 11:36 But when you're bringing 95% and they're bringing 5%.

Goldie Hawn 11:40 No, and you buy a house and they don't own it, or they own part of it but not enough, and it, it, it's, it's d- I swear, it's, it just, it's ... what is it? Erodes-

Lewis Howes 11:50 Really?

Goldie Hawn 11:50 ... erodes some of your, your relationship. Well, you can start out feeling very optimistic, but if you don't, if you can, if you realize it, you always have to remember what it is you love about that person. What is it you couldn't live without with that person in order to nurture your choice?

Lewis Howes 12:14 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 12:16 Because that's the, the most important thing. And then if that is gonna eat you up and get under your skin, male or female ... Females, of course, it's easier, 'cause girls are not supposed to make all the money, and they're not supposed to be s- powerful, and they're not supposed to be the decision-makers, and they're not supposed to be... And it, that goes from the cave days, okay? This is very cavey. It's very cavey.

Lewis Howes 12:38 [laughs] Yeah.

Goldie Hawn 12:38 That some boys can't, you know, always help themselves, and, um, and we get that. So when a woman has all the money, and

Goldie Hawn 12:48 a woman has all the ideas, and has all the power, and makes the decisions, and so forth, there's a little part of the woman that feels like she'd love to have a man taking care of her-

Lewis Howes 12:59 Wow

Goldie Hawn 12:59 ... no matter how rich they are.

Lewis Howes 13:03 What i- I mean, this is powerful. What a- what advice do you have for women now who want to make their own money, who wanna have their own successful career, who want to share their art in the world and be celebrated for it? Um, what advice do you have for them about finding a male partner and what they should be looking for to have a healthy, successful relationship as well as career?

Goldie Hawn 13:29 Yeah, well, that's very subjective, because you have to find someone that's a friend, first of all.

Lewis Howes 13:34 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 13:34 That can be a friend. And also someone, you have to know yourself to know that if you're falling sexy with somebody, or you wanna fool around, you wanna have fun, um, that can happen with n- no money at the table, okay? It's really important to, to look at yourself, what your needs are, and show, and show boundaries for yourself.

Lewis Howes 13:55 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 13:56 Because if you don't have boundaries and know that this will never work, and know that it will never work, I don't wanna feel guilty when I come home and I bring a paycheck that's, uh, m- more than his that way. Or you figure out when you're together as parents and the husband isn't doing quite as well and the wife is flourishing, um, they ha- they exchange jobs, and they're, they're pretty good at it. You know? It's, it's really, really nice when you have that. It's rare, but it does happen. And then you have such value for each other in, in so many ways that, you know... But it is very subjective.

Lewis Howes 14:32 Yes.

Goldie Hawn 14:32 So remember when you, you know, get attracted to somebody and he happens to be, you know, something wonderful but not necessarily making anywhere near the money you are, you just take a look at it and make sure that you don't jump into something before you realize you'll resent later.

Lewis Howes 14:46 Have you, I mean, have you seen anyone in the industry, I guess Hollywood industry, who, where women who have had made more money than the men they're with be successful in relationships as well long-term? Have you, have you seen that or-

Goldie Hawn 15:00 Well, I'm, you know, I'm not a, what is it? B- in, in other words, I know some people in the industry, let's put it that way, but I'm not, you know, somebody who knows everybody.

Lewis Howes 15:09 Right.

Goldie Hawn 15:09 Okay? And we see people who get married again, and they go back, you know, and they get together, and I think it's very nice because sometimes when you get married again, that's what Liz and Richard did, you know? Uh, B- you know, that, so w- when we w- w- Richard Burton. They got married at, for a second time, you know?

Lewis Howes 15:26 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 15:26 So there's always something there. You know, there's some electricity there they, s- that they can't live without. Um, but I really, I really haven't. The people that I do know actually are, do pretty well, uh, with that.

Lewis Howes 15:39 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 15:40 Pretty well, pretty well with that. Um, but, but there's artists and, you know, there's all kinds of things that you love

Goldie Hawn 15:47 about that person, and you w- you wanna stay there. So and that's what I would suggest. My issue that I never, I mean, I had men in my life, um, but never for marriage, and I knew that.

Lewis Howes 16:00 Really?

Goldie Hawn 16:00 Mm-hmm. I, I, I knew that.

Lewis Howes 16:01 So you'd be seeing them or dating them-

Goldie Hawn 16:02 Mm

Lewis Howes 16:02 ... but you were like, "Okay."

Goldie Hawn 16:03 Or I'd date them or-

Lewis Howes 16:04 They're wonderful-

Goldie Hawn 16:05 Wonderful, fun, you know, great. I mean, really. And, uh, but they were not family.

Lewis Howes 16:12 Really?

Goldie Hawn 16:13 No.

Lewis Howes 16:14 How do you cut, how do you cut the-

Goldie Hawn 16:15 And also I had much m- much more money and much more, you know, whatever at that point.

Lewis Howes 16:18 Than all of them. Yeah, yeah.

Goldie Hawn 16:19 Exactly.

Lewis Howes 16:20 How do you separate your emotional connection towards these, you know, relationships knowing they're not gonna stay with you long-term, those relationships? Knowing that you're not gonna potentially commit long-term, like, how do you, how do you navigate the emotions of knowing, like, "Hey, this is a lot of fun, and we're hanging out and connecting for a few months," but also knowing, "This isn't the guy for me"?

Goldie Hawn 16:45 I think there's kind of, sex is important.

Lewis Howes 16:47 Uh-huh.

Goldie Hawn 16:47 So when you're having a good sexual relationship with someone, that doesn't always mean you love them. It means you have fun with them, and that that actually could be a pull. But you, you, you can't be blindsided by that, um, emotion and that hormone.

Lewis Howes 17:04 That's a challenge.

Goldie Hawn 17:05 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 17:05 That bogs a lot of people, right?

Goldie Hawn 17:06 It, it's very bonding, because there's extreme, things that happen after your orgasm, you know, where you're having all these hormones, you know, and oxytocin, and all this stuff that makes you feel very close to that person.

Lewis Howes 17:18 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 17:18 Um, but I think we have to have conversations with ourselves, private conversations with ourselves, and look at the truth, uh, of what this is. And I was with someone, and I just had the best time, and he's, you know, i- he, he's really funny and r- and, you know, really great. Not going to be the father.

Lewis Howes 17:37 Really?

Goldie Hawn 17:37 No, because for me, I wanted to know that I would find someone who loves my children as much as I do.

Lewis Howes 17:45 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 17:46 And I wasn't gonna take anything less.

Lewis Howes 17:49 Wow. Yeah, wow, that's interesting. It, it sounds like, so you were married twice before, correct?

Goldie Hawn 17:54 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 17:55 And then we were talking off-camera about how y- you met, um, you met him in the same year I was born. About months before I was born-

Goldie Hawn 18:04 Mm-hmm

Lewis Howes 18:04 ... you guys met, you and Kurt, right? But you-

Goldie Hawn 18:06 I know. I mean, it's so crazy looking at you, 'cause you-

Lewis Howes 18:09 41 years ago

Goldie Hawn 18:10 ... you're a man.

Lewis Howes 18:10 [laughs] I'm a man.

Goldie Hawn 18:11 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 18:12 We met 41 years ago. [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 18:15 And you came out a baby boy. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 18:17 Is that crazy?

Goldie Hawn 18:19 So funny.

Lewis Howes 18:19 A month after you guys met or you got together-

Goldie Hawn 18:21 Yeah

Lewis Howes 18:21 ... I came out.

Goldie Hawn 18:22 You did.

Lewis Howes 18:23 And what, if you can go back to that time, how have you been able to make that work, where you guys have been able to, to, you know, raise two different families, come together, join families, and be happily together for 41 years-

Goldie Hawn 18:40 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 18:41 ... in this industry?

Goldie Hawn 18:42 We both look at each other and go, "Oh my God, can you believe it?" Um, you have to want a relationship to work. You just do. I mean, there's all kinds of arguments that come up and things you don't agree on and all this stuff, and, you know, I mean, Kurt and I don't have a big, you know, we don't always align po- politically. And, um, but, you know, I w- I like him.

Lewis Howes 19:04 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 19:05 I, I, am,

Goldie Hawn 19:06 you know, whatever he thinks or all this stuff, I think, "Well, you know, that's his thought." So you have to individuate, um, because your, your, your man or your woman is not ever gonna be everything, the perfect dream. And they're not gonna be just like you. You know, I think if I had somebody agreeing with me all the time, I'd go crazy, because there's no friction. There's no... So, but when you get into these dilemmas and, and having a relationship to, um, sex and all the things that go c- that happen when you're on a movie set, um, it really turn, it's like a family. And then you can d- you can actually create these relationships that are, feel very deep. They feel very connected. And it gives, it's a caution, because there could be relationships that are happening there that you're not even aware of, and all of a sudden you're realizing, "That's all I'm thinking about." And you got somebody at home, boyfriend or husband or whatever. And I think men are more vulnerable in many ways because they're, they're more, uh, you know, sort of visually active. If they, they don't necessarily wanna marry the person, but you know, they wanna, excuse the French, you know, do the old in out.

Lewis Howes 20:16 Have fun with the person. [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 20:17 Yeah. And, uh, [laughs] so, so that's kind of who, you know, who, it, how it works. And, um, so it's fragile, you know? Because you can't help but think, "Oh my God, I mean, he's going to work with such a beautiful girl. I mean, I mean, God, how's he gonna resist that?"

Lewis Howes 20:35 How did you navigate that when he might be on set doing a, you know, intimate scene or something or with beautiful people around and how did you guys both navigate that? You're doing the different scenes as well.

Goldie Hawn 20:45 Well, you, yeah, you n- you just navigate it. You just, you just-

Lewis Howes 20:48 Yeah

Goldie Hawn 20:48 ... know that, you know, but she's beautiful and whatever and, you know, you realize that men are a little different than women. You know, they're, you know, they can have reactions, uh, in, in ways that women can hide or don't. Wom- we're much more, uh, skillful, I would say. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 21:04 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 21:05 And who got us excited? Um, but you know, I, I don't feel that we had many challenges that way.

Lewis Howes 21:15 Really?

Goldie Hawn 21:16 No. I mean, I certainly, he didn't for me, and I did for him probably a few times. I just, just natural-

Lewis Howes 21:23 Like got in-

Goldie Hawn 21:23 ... natural wonder

Lewis Howes 21:23 ... like got insecure or jealous a little bit or something?

Goldie Hawn 21:27 I was never jealous. That's a different word. Um, but I, I've always been sort of thinking about what if. Um, and it w- you know, and he was so s- you know, sexy and great, and such a brilliant actor. But you know, at the end of the day, through all of these things, children and, and parents and our parents and all the different things that you go through, the different houses you build or that you'd have or the time you are, the time you spend with your children, then your grandchildren start coming and, and what happens is, is that if you like that person, if you want to be together, if one person doesn't want to be together because they feel they're getting older and now they have to be with a young person or to, you know, shore up their se- you know, their security about being a man and I'm whatever,

Goldie Hawn 22:19 and that happens a lot, particularly with wealthy men. So that happens. There's all this crap that can happen, right? But if two people don't want it to happen and only one does, forget it. It's not gonna work. If the two people want that, because we love family, because this is where we're together, we, we love each other, we love to play together, we love, we have got great sex together, you get through this stuff. At the end of the day, their grandchildren start coming. You have a whole different, I would say, feeling of springtime.

Lewis Howes 22:55 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 22:56 Because you kind of fall in love again.

Lewis Howes 22:59 Really?

Goldie Hawn 23:00 Yep. If you've done it right, you're there for each other. And as people get older, there's more vulnerability. But if you're together, then that's supporting each other, and it's very loving, and it's just amazing. So this is t- these are the stages of relationships.

Lewis Howes 23:23 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 23:24 And it depends on [clears throat] if you're with an abu- abusing, abusive partner, get out.

Lewis Howes 23:32 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 23:34 There's n- there's no question that narcissism is alive and well, and some narcissists are actually quite successful. They, most of them are. And they don't have a lot of empathy, and we look at that and go, "Oh my God, this is terrible," and they're just awful in relationships. Terrible. So if you don't, if you show them that they're ... 'Cause you're the supply. So let's say I have a narcissistic, which I don't, but what happens is, is that you become the out front person, so we call that supply. So you put out the pretty thing in the front, you put all these things out, and then the next thing you know, if you say anything wrong or do anything wrong, it's, it's a nightmare. So it's all great out front, but when they come home to home, they can really be abusive.

Lewis Howes 24:21 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 24:22 Get out.

Lewis Howes 24:23 Yeah

Goldie Hawn 24:24 You, I mean, there is no cure for this. It is making the one who's being abused neurotic, and you do, can get neurotic. And then you don't have self-love, then you wonder why you're still there.

Lewis Howes 24:39 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 24:40 Then you can't get out. And then he's all of a sudden the nicest person in the world, or vice versa. And, and suddenly you're sucked back in. Now that you've got your, then there's still, it goes in. It is the, it's a worse cycle. I know a lot of women who are in relationships like this.

Lewis Howes 24:54 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 24:55 And you can't get out. You can get out, but he'll follow you. There are things that'll happen because of it. There's nervousness and there's seduction, and you end up really not liking yourself.

Lewis Howes 25:09 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 25:10 So there, so there's a way to, I think for your own good in those relationships, you have to really individuate. You're not a couple. You're dealing with a person who needs what they call supply.

Lewis Howes 25:25 Right.

Goldie Hawn 25:26 In which case you have to look at yourself again, an existential examination of, of who you are. And if you wanna feel proud of yourself instead of feeling like an object like this, get out.

Lewis Howes 25:40 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 25:41 Support your friends, have them support you. But it's a, it's quite something. So there's, you know, two people who wanna be together

Goldie Hawn 25:49 and are kind to each other most of the time. Uh, we're, we're, we're, we're working toward the very thing that we can build to make us happy. Happiness is not anything from the outside.

Lewis Howes 26:01 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 26:01 Cars, burn, money, thing, whatever. Happiness is what you build on the inside. Really, uh, you know, identifying the things that make you happy. Whether it's flowers, whether it's walks, whether it's slowing down, whether it's, you know, looking at mountains, climbing mountains, being out. I've looked at a, a lot of nature, but it's also giving back makes you so happy. Um, your children, I know they can be, make you crazy, but just think of how wonderful they are, you know? So that's, that's I think what we have to do.

Lewis Howes 26:39 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 26:40 Happiness starts from the inside.

Lewis Howes 26:42 That's beautiful. What's, what do you think is the biggest lessons that your kids have taught you?

Goldie Hawn 26:48 Uh, children teach you a lot. We don't e- we don't listen to them enough.

Lewis Howes 26:53 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 26:54 Um, what have they taught me?

Lewis Howes 26:57 Maybe not something they said as a lesson, but something from experiencing them-

Goldie Hawn 27:00 No, no

Lewis Howes 27:01 ... as a, as a father.

Goldie Hawn 27:01 Exactly, yeah. Well, they, they will speak to what they, they might have had. Um, like if I was working a lot. But I, you know, I'm ju- I'm try- I'm honestly trying to think of what they taught me. They... It's really more of what they gave me.

Lewis Howes 27:23 Hmm. What did they give you?

Goldie Hawn 27:25 Yeah. They, that's, that's... So what, what, you know, what little gifts did they give you? I mean, my, my son and, I mean, my, you know, I just, I can't... I don't w- I don't wanna speak about them behind their back, but they, they're amazing people. And I remember the way they made me feel and, you know, helped me see perhaps, "God, I wish I'd have been there more. Oh, I didn't go to that game or that hockey game," and, you know, "I was away and, and I took this trip and maybe I shouldn't have taken the trip," because it was like three weeks away from them when they were little. And we, we observe ourselves and, and we beat ourselves up sometimes. But I learned probably from my children that they are the most important pieces of my life.

Lewis Howes 28:26 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 28:27 And I wish I always could have been given them more.

Lewis Howes 28:33 Really?

Goldie Hawn 28:34 Yeah. But you know, when they do this, "May I kiss your r- royal ring, Mommy?" That, that's a lesson in, in happiness.

Lewis Howes 28:44 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 28:44 It allows you to see what makes you happy. You know, we have this very interesting thing in our brain which is called metacognition, which means that we can see ourselves. We can witness ourselves. So you can witness yourself, that means you go a little bit above you and watch what you're doing, watch what you're saying. Look at it and go, "Ooh, shouldn't have said that." [laughs] Right? And so when you have this feeling of metacognition, you get to see what it is that you're in, and it makes you so grateful when you're looking at what your children are sharing with you.

Goldie Hawn 29:27 Ugh.

Lewis Howes 29:28 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 29:29 It's the greatest. It's the greatest thing in the world.

Lewis Howes 29:33 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 29:34 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 29:35 I'm not a parent yet, but I have been called more and more lately to wanna be a parent. And, um, I'm just curious, what, what lessons would you have for someone who isn't a parent yet on how to-

Goldie Hawn 29:48 Well, don't overthink it. Do not overthink it. It's very natural. You have to ask yourself what are your qualities? Are you, do you listen? Are you a good listener? Clearly you are, because I'm rambling on [laughs] right now.

Lewis Howes 30:01 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 30:02 Um.

Lewis Howes 30:02 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 30:03 And your, um, anxiety around it. Is it gonna take too much time? Uh, you know, there's all kinds of things that interrupt your life, there's no doubt about it. Children interrupt your life. And-

Lewis Howes 30:18 But you were still, you were still a- able to have a great career and act and-

Goldie Hawn 30:22 Oh, yeah

Lewis Howes 30:23 ... create.

Goldie Hawn 30:23 Oh, yeah But it's a, especially for your first one. Well, my third one, and then f- you know, four- tho- that, that was like, "Oh, give me five more," you know? But your first one, and your sec- you know, your second one's a little easier. Third one is, you know, boom. I was never anxious. I wanted children so bad. So I, all, I never read a book on parenting. I never read a book, because you have to be truly with y- your ability to manage your, you know, emotions and stress and be aware and stuff like that. The, it's like the natural ... It was natural for me, you know? I wasn't precious on it, you know? I just, it was just natural. And then what you realize is, is that after you go through the pregnancy, which is always beautiful for the most part, very romantic and, you know, all that, then the baby, it, you know, comes out. Very exciting. We're all going insane. And the same thing that happened with, with, you know, with the g- f- first brother, let's say, and it comes along to a second child, they are all excited about the baby until it gets here.

Lewis Howes 31:30 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 31:31 Because-

Lewis Howes 31:31 'Cause all your attention's on the new baby.

Goldie Hawn 31:33 Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, the big acting out and what they do and so forth. It's just that, you know, and you realize, well, you gotta pay attention to them and let them hold the baby and those things.

Lewis Howes 31:41 Right.

Goldie Hawn 31:41 But having this what's it like, uh, you can't describe. You, you can't. I couldn't describe it for you. Ag- again, it's very subjective, uh, what it feels like to see your baby come out.

Lewis Howes 31:56 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 31:57 That is ... It's just a [censored] miracle.

Lewis Howes 32:01 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 32:01 And when you see that, and it looks a little like you and a little like this, and-

Lewis Howes 32:05 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 32:06 Oh, my God. I mean, I, I don't ... It's just such a miracle that I, I don't even ... I mean, like, I remember I walked around pregnant all these times, and every time I got pregnant, it was a blessing. And I thought, "Oh, my God, I'm c- I am the vessel carrying this human being. I'm so lucky. I get to be the harbor of the growth of a human being."

Lewis Howes 32:32 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 32:33 And I was beyond honored to be a female. And then I had an emergency C-section, so I did all C-sections, so I didn't have the birth and all that.

Goldie Hawn 32:45 But I did birth these children, and when I s- when I, I saw them, oh.

Lewis Howes 32:50 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 32:51 It's cr- it's just crazy. It really is. And then you think, "Well, what am I gonna do here?" Is there chaos in the beginning? Yeah, the baby's crying. She's on the thing, goes on the breast, has to d- during the nursing, and all that stuff, and then Daddy sometimes feels a little helpless. It's like he can't do that.

Lewis Howes 33:06 Like, what do I do? Yeah. [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 33:07 Like, what did I do? Whatever. But then you're building friendships for the rest of your life.

Lewis Howes 33:12 Wow. How did you learn to trust in love again after, you know, a couple marriages not working out? Now you have kids. How do you trust to love again? How do you trust someone to co-parent with you, uh, someone new in your life? Like, how do you, with these precious kids that you have, how did you do that?

Goldie Hawn 33:33 It was hard, but for, not for long. You know, I, I, I'm ... I know I needed a man to help me, you know, raise the children in an even way. Have a male influencer, love that loved them.

Lewis Howes 33:51 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 33:52 But I never doubted. I can't explain it. I didn't live in anxiety that way. The only thing that I did write in my diary was, "I wonder if I'll ever find a man that will love my children the way I do."

Lewis Howes 34:07 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 34:08 And I was weepy that evening. I don't know if I was on my second glass of wine yet or not, [laughs] but, but I was like, "I wonder, you know, I wonder if it was possible." And it was clearly possible.

Lewis Howes 34:23 Right.

Goldie Hawn 34:23 41 years later.

Lewis Howes 34:25 It's incredible.

Goldie Hawn 34:25 I can say it's pretty great. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 34:27 Wow. How did you know that it ... I mean, I know you wrote it down, "I wonder if it's possible." How long did it take for you to create that possibility for that moment of writing that down?

Goldie Hawn 34:38 Two or three years.

Lewis Howes 34:39 Yeah. 'Cause some women or men will go years just, you know, dating people where they're like, "This isn't the one," and they think it's never going to happen for them.

Goldie Hawn 34:48 Mm.

Lewis Howes 34:48 So how did you keep the faith and the trust that you would attract the right person?

Goldie Hawn 34:52 I was very busy, uh, working.

Lewis Howes 34:56 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 34:57 Um, I had my focus on the kids, and I had focus on my, my family. Daddy was still alive, and my s- you know, my mother and all that. And, um, you know, I didn't fret.

Lewis Howes 35:11 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 35:12 You know? I just, just didn't. In fact, I really enjoyed having just a f- another female in the house taking care of the kids, and there wasn't a man in the house. You know, at least one that wasn't nuts. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 35:25 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 35:26 With a, a crazy man living ...

Lewis Howes 35:28 Yeah, yeah.

Goldie Hawn 35:28 No, not really. I mean, but, but the truth is, is that I, I wa- I didn't have any anxiety about that.

Lewis Howes 35:34 So you weren't anxious to be in the right relationship or to find someone, or?

Goldie Hawn 35:38 No. No. I mean, I felt I had the wherewithal to take care of the children with help, and with my mom and Dad and, you know, everybody. Um, and so I didn't, but I do remember a friend of mine who's well-known, but I won't mention his name. But I remember he came home, 'cause he's a really good friend of mine, and he came home, and I was, um, we'd just

Goldie Hawn 36:02 gone out to an event together, and he dropped me. He didn't drop me off. He came in to see if I was okay and saw Oliver sleeping. And he was in front of the TV, and he picked him up, and he took him upstairs. And, and, you know, and then he came down and said, you know, "Go on up there." And then when I came down, he said, "I can't believe you're doing this alone."

Lewis Howes 36:24 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 36:26 And that meant a lot because I, I was, but I w- there was no heroism in that. There was just fun. You know? I mean, worrying is the worst thing you can do. Live your life. Enjoy the things that you enjoy, and then don't wait too long, because oftentimes what happens is you get very addicted to your own way of liv- of living, [laughs] you know?

Lewis Howes 36:52 Yeah.

Goldie Hawn 36:53 I, when I leave the light on when I do this, I do the thing, and then the bathroom light, I always flush the toilet three times. I'm making this up. But so when you live with somebody, it's like you think somebody's gonna take all that stuff away, you're gonna have to deal with it. It's not untrue. I mean, I said, I don't think I said for 40 years every night Kurt said, I said, "Honey, could you turn the light out?" And he said, "Oh, I just thought you wanted [laughs] nightlight." I said, "No." [laughs] I, I like to sleep in the dark.

Lewis Howes 37:20 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 37:21 40 years. I mean, oh my God, it was so funny. He was [laughs] thinking he wants a nightlight. But I mean, the, it's sort of like that. But it's just you'll know. You'll meet someone and you'll know. And if you squeeze the sand too much, it'll fall right out of your hand, so hold it nice and easy.

Lewis Howes 37:44 I mean, the thing that I, I'm inspired by you is you have this sense of, you know, this meditation you've learned, strategies, neuroscience you're a fan of, you're a researcher of the mind. But a lot of people know you as just this successful actress, right? Um, what made you really fascinated about understanding about the mind, neuroscience-

Goldie Hawn 38:04 I had a very s-

Lewis Howes 38:05 ... meditation?

Goldie Hawn 38:05 ... a serious anxiety, uh, problem, and it was a, uh, panic attacks. And I got that when I was dancing, and I was happy. I was a dancer. That's what I did, and I loved it. And I was in LA, I was so excited, and I'd just come back from dancing in Vegas, and I t- went to an audition, and that audition actually, um, I got the job. I was like f- oh my God, I was so excited. And my mom, you know, I called my mom and dad. I said, "Oh my God, I'm gonna be on a Tennessee Ernie Ford Show," and the, the choreographer was, like, so excited. He said, "I'm always gonna use you," and always, you know. And I was so happy. There was a agent that came up and he invited, he said to me, "Do you ... I'm just basically covering the show at William Morris." He said, "But do you have an agent?" And I said, "No, I don't." And he said, "Well, here, come and see me Wednesday after the show is over," 'cause it was gonna be filmed. We were rehearsing. I didn't v- pay any mind to it because I'd just come from New York. Believe me, I got as much Me Too issues

Goldie Hawn 39:03 as anybody could imagine.

Lewis Howes 39:05 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 39:05 And I thought another, no, no, no, you're not gonna m- I get it. So they call me at my apartment in Hollywood and said, um, "Miss Hawn," blah, blah, blah. "Yes." "Oh, we're waiting for you." And I said, "Oh my God, you mean, is this is real?" "Yeah." So I got in my car, I drove to William Morris, and I sat there while they talked about me and around me. And I'm watching back and forth like oh, oh, oh. And they said, "Well, if you wanna p- if you wanna sign her, you can." And this was a young agent who was a junior agent. And, uh, he s- they signed me, and about a week later I went up for this job, Desilu Studios back in the day, and I got this job. And I went, "Well, wait a minute." I said to this agent, my new agent, "I couldn't have gotten the job. They said that I was too young for that part." He said, "No, no, they wrote in a part for you."

Lewis Howes 40:03 Wow. A different part.

Goldie Hawn 40:05 A different part. And so that's what happened, and what happened was is I then became anxious around it because I thought first of all I was gonna eventually go home and open a dancing school, and get married and be happy. And these were things I saw my life doing. Well, you can't always plan your life. In fact, you never can.

Lewis Howes 40:28 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 40:28 As long as you stay open for the possibilities. So my point is is that I then became anxious, and then I started having panic attacks. I did not feel comfortable. I didn't wanna go to Hollywood. I didn't wanna be that person. I didn't wanna be a star certainly. And when I was 11 years old, people says to me if I wanted to be a dancer or a star or do on Broadway, and I said, "No, I just wanna be happy." And I was 11, and I remember this, and I thought, oh, they look surprised.

Lewis Howes 40:59 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 41:00 Interesting. But happiness is something I've always kept prem- prim- primo in my mind. Premier happiness, that any, any unhappiness that I was experienced, I either learn for it or walk away from it.

Lewis Howes 41:15 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 41:17 And so that's what happened.

Lewis Howes 41:19 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 41:20 I wasn't going to be dancing anymore. I wasn't gonna be a dancer anymore. My life had changed is what happened. And so I went to a doctor. And, in answer to your question, long-winded answer. And I went to a psychologist, and I worked with him for eight years.

Lewis Howes 41:37 Wow, really? How old were you when you started?

Goldie Hawn 41:39 21.

Lewis Howes 41:40 Okay.

Goldie Hawn 41:41 And, uh, I went to him. It took me a year to start, you know, to, to work through, but it was the most fascinating experience because once again, if you're watching yourself try to get better or smarter or healthier however, then your mind can become just a treasure trove of possibilities.

Lewis Howes 42:00 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 42:00 It's incredible. So on a, oddly enough, I did the Freudian way back then, and that had some brilliance to it because he created something when you said free associate, you'd have to lie down on the bed, on the, you know, the, the what they have, a, you know, the small sort of l- reclining chair, whatever. And you had to think of, you know, whatever comes to your mind. Whatever. Doesn't matter

Goldie Hawn 42:25 what. Could be chewing gum- Could be, you know, one time I was, [laughs] one time I had an old Corvette and it was given to me for a parade or something, and it, it, it really looked like a penis. I mean, it, it was this long-

Lewis Howes 42:40 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 42:41 ... with the thing and whatever. And I, I drove it around, and one of my things I remember saying when I laid down and free associated is I said, "I feel like I, my car, I feel like I'm driving a penis." So that was one, the first thing that came to my head, right? But you have to be honest and say what's coming into your head, right? You gotta be clear. It's could, could be some terrible stuff. That wasn't so terrible, but it was the idea that I had, which I thought was kind of odd. So, you know, when you go through the examination of your own mind without, with freely-

Lewis Howes 43:15 Mm

Goldie Hawn 43:15 ... without, uh, uh, censoring, this is r- really important to be able to grow from these various things. What happens is that you don't think, you think you're feeling fine. You go in there and you start either free associating or talking, and the next thing you know is, is you're either crying because something happened. Y- you, there's all kinds of veils that get lift, lifted from your eyes and from your vision and, and that's what's so beautiful. And then, then it's like a window gets opened in your brain, and suddenly that fear of whatever isn't there anymore.

Lewis Howes 43:48 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 43:49 So, so that was my interest, and I continued that, right? So I was just learning and learning and learning at that point. I called it the University of Me. And, um-

Lewis Howes 44:00 For eight years, right?

Goldie Hawn 44:01 Yeah, yeah. And then inside of that 1972, I started meditating.

Lewis Howes 44:06 Really? Wow. Before it was big.

Goldie Hawn 44:10 Well, it was The Beatles then.

Lewis Howes 44:12 Right.

Goldie Hawn 44:12 You know, it was like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and he, he was the guy that did TM-

Lewis Howes 44:16 Oh, okay

Goldie Hawn 44:16 ... transcendental meditation.

Lewis Howes 44:18 Yep, yep.

Goldie Hawn 44:19 And I was initiated to that. Um, very simple. You get a mantra and so forth. And I will tell you-

Lewis Howes 44:25 And you can't, you can't share your mantra, right?

Goldie Hawn 44:27 No, you're not supposed to share-

Lewis Howes 44:28 Yeah, yeah, exactly

Goldie Hawn 44:28 ... your mantra. Um, but I cannot ex- I can't even explain it 'cause it was so visceral. But it was the first time I sat down and I really focused on the quiet, the breath, the smell, the scent of the incense.

Lewis Howes 44:43 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 44:44 The r- you know, the wind from the, from the, from the, uh, window that was moving the curtains. And I sat there, and it was the most extraordinary experience for me to get out of my head and into my heart.

Lewis Howes 44:58 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 45:00 And it, I just could feel my heart beating. I was so happy. I, I found my- I f- I kind of met myself again because I am a happy person by nature, and all of the struggles and all those things, it just unlocked my true joy.

Lewis Howes 45:18 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 45:20 And even today, all the time when I meditate, I just, I actually, my heart gets so full that I actually have a tear or two that comes down because it's d- it's just such a beautiful feeling, you know, the feeling of nothing, feeling of nothingness, and yet you're in the middle of nothingness, and yet that's when you're flourishing.

Goldie Hawn 45:43 I can't explain it, but it's, it was beautiful. So that's when I started meditating. And then I started learning about the brain.

Lewis Howes 45:50 Wow. So you've been meditating for 50 years.

Goldie Hawn 45:53 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 45:54 Now, did you start, when did you... I mean, we've got the, uh, I guess the Oscars are coming up here soon after this interview. When, when did you win your Oscar? What, were you meditating by then, or?

Goldie Hawn 46:06 Uh, that was 1971.

Lewis Howes 46:09 So it was like right around that time.

Goldie Hawn 46:10 Yeah, yeah.

Lewis Howes 46:11 Right before, right around that time.

Goldie Hawn 46:12 Yeah, it was Peter Sellers' movie and I was doing that in London.

Lewis Howes 46:15 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 46:15 And, uh, I'd been nominated for an Academy Award m- for my first movie, which I thought was completely crazy. And then I went to work, and I was making G- There's a Girl in My Soup in London with Peter, and I just forgot that they were on television that night. [laughs] So I got a call saying, "Goldie, way to go. You got it." And I said, "I got what?" They said, "You got the Academy Award. You, you, you won. You, you won Best Supporting Actress." And I went, "Oh my God, I didn't know they were on television last night."

Lewis Howes 46:52 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 46:52 [laughs] And it was like one of those stories that's just like, oh my God, I can't believe it. You know, then I called my mom and dad, and it was just so great, but I wasn't thinking about them. I, I, I wasn't looking at that. And by the way, those days, you know, they didn't stop the music for the Academy Awards.

Lewis Howes 47:13 It wasn't the biggest thing or-

Goldie Hawn 47:15 No, it was big.

Lewis Howes 47:16 Yeah.

Goldie Hawn 47:16 But it was very, very local. In other words, yes, it was on television in the UK.

Lewis Howes 47:22 It wasn't a global thing.

Goldie Hawn 47:23 It wasn't a global thing. You know, they weren't selling diamonds and people coming in there and going, you know, "Come to our room. We'll give you a diamond." Um, it was quite different. But Fred Astaire was the one who announced my name, and that's, was my idol, my true idol.

Lewis Howes 47:38 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 47:39 And I didn't get to see it.

Lewis Howes 47:40 Oh, man.

Goldie Hawn 47:41 Yeah, except Jimmy Kimmel and I were dri- on a plane, and he said, "Did you ever see that clip?" And I said, "No." He said, "I'm gonna send it to you." And he sent me just the, I don't know, uh, uh, a year ago, maybe less.

Lewis Howes 47:55 Really?

Goldie Hawn 47:56 He sh- he sent it to me, and it was them, him saying my name. "And the winner is," and I heard him say my name. It was like music.

Lewis Howes 48:04 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 48:04 And I cried. So at least I was able, even all this time later, to be able to have an emotional connection.

Lewis Howes 48:10 Wow. What was that l- I mean, so you weren't able to accept the award on stage. This was, what, 50 years ago?

Goldie Hawn 48:14 Mm.

Lewis Howes 48:16 But-

Goldie Hawn 48:16 Or more, I don't know

Lewis Howes 48:17 ... a year ago you got to watch the actual clip of being awarded. And so what, what is that like? I mean, that's a, that's like a going back in time. Did you kind of relive that as if, if you were accepting it on stage, or?

Goldie Hawn 48:31 No, not at all. I mean, I don't go back in time. You know, I know that there are things that remind you of what was, right?

Lewis Howes 48:37 Uh-huh.

Goldie Hawn 48:38 But, but, and, and yes, you can go down memory lane and, and do all that. And, and I think what I don't do is walk backwards. So it's, it's, you know, it's always, you know, what's ahead. No. That experience of watching it was emotional because I was looking at Fred Astaire

Goldie Hawn 48:59 say my name.

Lewis Howes 49:00 That's pretty cool.

Goldie Hawn 49:01 And that was important to me.

Lewis Howes 49:03 So what is it, what is life like after winning an Academy Award? Did you have more anxiety because there was more pressure? Did you feel more joy? You know, what was that like?

Goldie Hawn 49:13 No, I didn't, I didn't feel any of that. I made a deal when I did Cactus Flower, and there were three other movies I had to do, and they were all set. They were already agreed upon. I was the new fresh face, right? So really nothing happened.

Lewis Howes 49:28 Really?

Goldie Hawn 49:28 I just worked on things like, you know... I think there's, let's see which one. There's A Girl in My Soup was one of them with Peter Sellers, I think. So I was paid a certain incremental amount for each movie. It wasn't anything to knock your socks off. And I just worked. And I think ultimately when you start, you know, look at your life and everything, because I was a ballet dancer from three and worked that way all the way, I'm a worker bee. I mean, I just work. I either make movies, I decided to produce, you know, and, and I made these decisions for, for very practical reasons. Nothing to make my career better, but only to make my ability to control what I did because I felt that I wasn't gonna be the Meryl Streep of the world. I was gonna be a s- special kind of strange entity. Yes, funny. Yes, this and that other. But, so I felt producing was probably smart because then I could pick and choose, you know, what I wanna do to, to throw light on in the society or, you know, for either for women, uh, or for people that we, that we'd wanted to produce movies for. So I was, I was kind of a business person, to tell you the truth, of looking at that, and looking at what we can make funny that's actually quite serious.

Lewis Howes 50:45 Well, I mean, as a, you mentioned how you were in ballet, you wanted to be a dancer, you wanted to open a dancing school, but then life shifted for you, and you had more opportunities, right? You, you had opportunities to act and do other things. How did you let go of this dream you had your entire life of being a dancer and opening a dancing school? How did you let go of it and mourn it, even though you had other success and opportunities coming your way?

Goldie Hawn 51:15 Well, I don't know that I, I, I mourned it after I've been doing so much work on myself, you know?

Lewis Howes 51:20 Yeah.

Goldie Hawn 51:20 I didn't mourn it. It was just a reality, and by the way, it was pretty great, you know? I was doing a lot of movies. I was doing stuff. I was fascinated by what I was doing. I loved it, and also, just to let you know, I had done some acting, so it wasn't just a dancer. I mean, I did, um, uh, Romeo and Juliet, uh, in, uh, Lake Matoaka Amphitheater, which was about 3,000 people-

Lewis Howes 51:40 Wow

Goldie Hawn 51:40 ... in an open amphitheater. And it started to rain, and I think it's probably one of the greatest things that's ever, um, you know, other than my children, uh, and the Academy Award-

Lewis Howes 51:51 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 51:51 ... um, or Golden Globes or whatever, um, was my father, uh, went to, we did, it was, I was dancing there, but I wanted to play Juliet, and I, and I w- and I got the part.

Goldie Hawn 52:04 And these were, these are all, like, high-level actors from Catholic University and all this stuff. I was about 8, 17, maybe, 17, and I got the part, and I l- I learned it, all of it in about two weeks. It just shows you a young brain. And then I did it, and then it, it, it was like the sky opened up, it was raining, and it was an amphitheater. And I was doing the speech, you know, the, what do you call it? The, uh, potion speech. And no one left the theater. It was unbelievable, and I didn't know whether to stop or go on.

Lewis Howes 52:39 Just pouring down on you in the middle of the scene.

Goldie Hawn 52:40 Yeah. I mean, it was, it wasn't pouring, but it was definitely s- it was, it was raining. So anyway, then, but my dad came back, and my father was the greatest. He was a musician. He had the mind of a musician. He was incredible. And but anyway, he wasn't always the one that would throw his arms and, you know, "I love you, honey," you know, that. He was very pristine and elegant. And he came back, and I was standing there backstage, and he said, "Go. Where did you learn to do that?"

Lewis Howes 53:15 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 53:15 And he was just lost it.

Lewis Howes 53:18 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 53:18 And for me, that was the greatest moment for me-

Lewis Howes 53:22 Wow

Goldie Hawn 53:23 ... as an actress. I mean, truly, truly, truly. My mo- my father was so taken aback, so proud of me.

Lewis Howes 53:31 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 53:31 You know? And that, that mattered so much to me. So that was one thing. So, so in all due whatever [laughs] I had acted before.

Lewis Howes 53:43 Sure, sure. Wow.

Goldie Hawn 53:44 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 53:44 What was the greatest lesson that your parents each taught you?

Goldie Hawn 53:47 Be real. Be real. B- look at reality. Reality is, is basically what you're gonna live with, and any expectation isn't.

Lewis Howes 53:57 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 53:58 My father was a great, uh, uh, philosopher. And my mother told me, "Let me tell you something. There's many people on the casting couch, but you, when you're up for a job, you better be ready. You better be ready, and you better be appropriately," um, well, basic, not appropriately, "You better be aware that what you need to do..." Oh, I know what she said, "Because it's not the producers that are gonna make you a star or make you get the job. It's the people that will love you, the people that will be able to want you back again for whatever reason." It was very kind of prophetic because I never-

Lewis Howes 54:39 The audi- audiences, people or-

Goldie Hawn 54:41 Audience

Lewis Howes 54:41 Yeah

Goldie Hawn 54:41 She said, "It's the audience that you have to win."

Lewis Howes 54:44 Not the producers or-

Goldie Hawn 54:45 Not the producer

Lewis Howes 54:45 ... casting directors.

Goldie Hawn 54:47 No. No. You sh- you prove that you know what you're doing, you've worked on your craft, you be ready when the time comes.

Lewis Howes 54:53 How do you win over an audience if the producer or casting director doesn't give you the opportunity or the roles?

Goldie Hawn 54:59 Well, that's if they do.

Lewis Howes 55:01 When they do-

Goldie Hawn 55:02 Yes

Lewis Howes 55:02 ... makes you win over the audience.

Goldie Hawn 55:03 Yes.

Lewis Howes 55:04 Yeah.

Goldie Hawn 55:04 That, I mean, that's obviously, they, then they, when they don't, you know, they're those guys.

Lewis Howes 55:08 Right. [laughs] Right, right, right.

Goldie Hawn 55:09 They're those guys.

Lewis Howes 55:10 How do-

Goldie Hawn 55:10 Especially if you don't put out

Lewis Howes 55:11 How do you master your craft to win over an audience, whether it be music, art, dance, film?

Goldie Hawn 55:17 You can't answer that question.

Lewis Howes 55:19 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 55:19 You don't master your art in order to do anything. You master your

Goldie Hawn 55:25 art to be able to create something that g- that starts in your heart. It's art is, is, you know, there are many forms of art, painting as well. There's a... But this feeling of, it's like people used to say to me, 'cause my father was a musician, "Do you play an instrument?" I said, "Yes, I play myself. I play my body, I play myself," because I'm also an instrument.

Lewis Howes 55:48 Yes.

Goldie Hawn 55:48 So in a way, you can't describe what that feels like when you're in the flow. And, and I think the only outcome is that you, you know. You know. It's like, you know, people that actually, you know, it was all the, th- all the sports or all the, you know, you know, um, aerobics or all the acrobatics or, you know, the gymnasts or whatever, they know they did, they landed properly. You know, they know their, their balance is perfect. You just kinda know. And so that's the difference between thinking too much.

Lewis Howes 56:28 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 56:29 You're asking a lot of questions about what do you think when this happens, what do you think with that, you know, and, and how do you prove if you're whatever. But, and I, and I love it, I love the questions, but some of them there are not, not always the r- right on answers because c- art and creating art is a, is so deep.

Lewis Howes 56:49 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 56:50 You know? And how we get these ideas on writing or how, like I got my idea on what I'm doing with children. That stuff comes to you in the strangest ways. So that's the part of feeling free to improvise-

Lewis Howes 57:04 Yes

Goldie Hawn 57:04 ... with your mind, you know?

Lewis Howes 57:05 [sighs] That's powerful. What, what was the m- the, the art that you created that you were most proud of? Maybe it was a big hit, maybe no one liked it at all, but you were most proud of on how it made you feel and how you showed up for the-

Goldie Hawn 57:23 Well, there's a few, so, you know, it's just not just one. I mean, 'cause everything has its own personality. Um, I think Steven Spielberg and I did a movie together, his first movie, and probably that would be one of the ones I felt just completely aligned and the best with.

Lewis Howes 57:41 Really?

Goldie Hawn 57:42 Yeah, Sugarland Express. He was young, I was young, similar age, maybe a year or so apart. We had the best time.

Lewis Howes 57:50 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 57:51 And it was a, a really wonderful movie about a wom- young girl who really had a baby, and she was in a l- lo- low security prison.

Lewis Howes 58:03 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 58:03 It's a true story, and then she breaks her husband out of another security 'cause he's, they're just kinda stupid people, you know, they're not-

Lewis Howes 58:09 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 58:10 I mean, not everybody's gonna sound stupid, but it's kind of like she was just hell-bent on getting her baby back. 'Cause those, the, the, the people there that have them was s- so- social, you know, services and they had the baby.

Lewis Howes 58:25 Right.

Goldie Hawn 58:27 It's a fantastic movie.

Lewis Howes 58:30 Hmm.

Goldie Hawn 58:31 And very much of its time.

Lewis Howes 58:33 Wow. What's it called?

Goldie Hawn 58:35 Sugarland Express.

Lewis Howes 58:36 Oh.

Goldie Hawn 58:37 Steven Spielberg's first film, and I was honored to be in it. And he said to me, "Goldie, you know, you approved me for that movie." And I said, "What?" [laughs] He said,

Goldie Hawn 58:47 "Yeah, if you hadn't approved me, I wouldn't have done it." And I went, "Oh my God. I mean, [laughs] that's too much to put on my shoulders."

Lewis Howes 58:52 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 58:53 Glad I did. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 58:54 His first movie.

Goldie Hawn 58:55 Yeah, because I, I was already, like, Laugh-In, I had a, the basic deal at, uh, at, uh, uh, Universal, you know, as producer.

Lewis Howes 59:04 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 59:05 I started, I started young, man. I've been-

Lewis Howes 59:06 Well, that's amazing.

Goldie Hawn 59:07 I know.

Lewis Howes 59:09 So inspiring.

Goldie Hawn 59:09 But I had a dancing school, you know, at 16 and 17. I was already in M- in Maryland, which is where I'm from. I created a dancing school. I advertised in my mother's store, in the window. I mean, so sometimes it's just in you. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 59:24 You had that hustle, that mindset, yeah.

Goldie Hawn 59:25 [laughs] Exactly. I don't know how and where, but, you know, how that all happened.

Lewis Howes 59:31 I'm curious about, um, you know, why, why you decided to create your foundation, MindUP Foundation for kids, um, which is really about giving them tools and resources to be more mindful.

Goldie Hawn 59:44 Yes, to, to actually have more agency over their emotions-

Lewis Howes 59:47 Uh-huh

Goldie Hawn 59:47 ... which is what we're doing-

Lewis Howes 59:48 It's huge

Goldie Hawn 59:48 ... here today. Um, we don't ask our children, um... In other words, we ask them, sorry, to learn, but we don't give them any, any pathway to understanding their brain, and that's exactly what we do. But what happened when I, the reason I got that is because I was doing a documentary, In Search of Joy, because I believe that we, as humans, are not experiencing, especially in the developed world, enough happiness.

Lewis Howes 1:00:22 Hmm. Why do you think that is?

Goldie Hawn 1:00:24 Uh, well, there's a lot of things it could be. You know, ov- I mean, very industrialized places. London was, uh, very low on the happiness scale. The UK. We had, um, what country was on the high level of happiness? When the, the more you get into the third world, the more you find out people that are actually happier.

Lewis Howes 1:00:44 Isn't that interesting?

Goldie Hawn 1:00:44 Yeah. It's very interesting.

Lewis Howes 1:00:46 Why do you think certain cities, not all cit- cities, but certain cities with more wealth and more opportunities have less happiness than other places in the world with potentially less opportunities and wealth-

Goldie Hawn 1:00:58 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:00:58 ... have greater happiness?

Goldie Hawn 1:01:00 Well, first of all, Denmark, at the, one of the, was one of the centers, you know, for the happiest people in the world. But there's also a financial sort of sociola- socialism, okay? The one thing that was discovered about happiness is if people had just enough money to get by, doctors taken care of, schools paid for, that basically the system took care of them in a way, where they didn't have the anxiety around all of those things, that that particular aspect of that, which I thought was pretty amazing. Because, you know, you don't pay much to go to the hospital, you don't pay. And, and all of it says, well, socialized medicine is not great. But I can tell you one thing: if you're happier, you'll be healthier. So this is, this, this was one of them. And, um, and okay, so I wanna do this documentary in search of joy around the world, which I started, uh, we were talking to, to, uh, um, HBO,

Goldie Hawn 1:02:04 and it was very interesting because everybody's going, "I lo- that's interesting. Now what is it? What is it?" It's searching for more happiness. It's understanding that this is a mosaic of what's going on in the world. Which was interesting, because it became a cottage industry, b- happiness, 'cause this was 23 years ago.

Lewis Howes 1:02:23 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 1:02:24 So now 9/11 happens, and I'm involved with the brain, involved with happiness, understanding where it sits, you know, where does happiness exist? How does it affect the brain? And I then decided that these children are going to be traumatized from this 9/11, and that I want to be able to create something they can put in their classroom where they can create more optimism, more happiness. And so I w- I took, took, you know, what I was doing and created MindUP.

Lewis Howes 1:02:58 Interesting.

Goldie Hawn 1:02:59 And I wanted to give that to them, but I wanted to give it to them because it, just changing a few things and making the classroom an optimistic classroom, making it a place to have an ethos which is happiness and, and, uh, you know, and positivity, that would help the children feel happier and better. Because I could see that they were really not. They were showing signs. And when I found out that 10, 10-year-old children were committing suicide back then-

Lewis Howes 1:03:28 Mm

Goldie Hawn 1:03:29 ... I lost it, 'cause I can't even talk about that. When k- children who are so young are taking their lives, it's sort of, who's doing what wrong?

Lewis Howes 1:03:39 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 1:03:40 You know? And so now, now I made that a just, it just was part of my, my life. And what I did was is I w- and I had it measured, the, the program, because it teaches how the brain wo- or neuro s- ner- then basically the emotional brain works, not the whole brain. But they learn about that, and they learn about the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex, which is the thinking brain, the amygdala, which is the reactive brain, and the part of the brain and the hippocampus, which is where we ha- remember. So once they learn about all these parts and what they do, which is very simple, is that they know our brain break that we do three times a day in the classroom allows them to have a correlation and a cognition to what's going on in their brain and how they can regulate their emotions-

Lewis Howes 1:04:28 Wow

Goldie Hawn 1:04:29 ... and open up the prefrontal cortex to think, analyze, figure out, experience happiness, have the questions, and memori- memory better. I cannot tell you that we, they, this is, I didn't do this, this was University of British Columbia. They researched it, and the research was so extraordinary with these children, even to a point where they said they could make themselves happier, 83%, which is that, I just lost it when I saw that. Because we need to make ourselves happier. We need to find a way to do that.

Lewis Howes 1:05:03 Yes.

Goldie Hawn 1:05:03 And the children, uh, w- you know, basically that was part of the research. They, they said now we, they could make themselves happier. It was so great that we had to do another research because

Goldie Hawn 1:05:14 it, we can't believe this, what these children w- are experiencing and what the educate- educators. So now we do another research in another town in, in, uh, Vancouver. Same thing.

Lewis Howes 1:05:27 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 1:05:28 Okay. And that's when I said, "All right. I, I know I'm Goldie Hawn. I know people think I'm funny. I know I'm not a scientist, but I had a dream for children, and it worked."

Lewis Howes 1:05:41 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 1:05:43 And so that's when I said, "Now I can own it, because the research speaks for itself." So this is what I've been doing for 21 years.

Lewis Howes 1:05:53 Oh, that's amazing.

Goldie Hawn 1:05:55 We have 150 s- I mean, millions of children have gone through this program, 'cause it was published by Scholastic.

Lewis Howes 1:06:00 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 1:06:01 And it went all over the world, so we have fa- kids in China, we've got kids in Shanghai. I mean, Shanghai, Hong Kong. I mean, they're all over, just Portugal, Spain, uh, Italy. Um, l- ba- basically the UK was a big one. Over, well over 150,000 children doing this.

Lewis Howes 1:06:18 And these schools are following these programs then?

Goldie Hawn 1:06:20 Yes. And it's, it's to, uh, right in, uh, New York City we're at, have 150 schools so far.

Lewis Howes 1:06:25 Wow. And so they take these little brain breaks throughout the day? Is that what the schools do?

Goldie Hawn 1:06:28 Yes. So the brain break, which is basically takes three minutes, we ring a chime. And the reason we ring the chime, this is not spiritual stuff. We're doing it so the brain attaches to that sound. And it, it, it, you immediately will be like Pavlov's dog. It, it, it, it s-

Lewis Howes 1:06:45 It's relaxed

Goldie Hawn 1:06:45 ... it, they relax, their brain starts to r- calm down. All the things with the amygdala is like a barking dog. So when it gets excited, when it's got uncertainty, and fear, and anger, and, you know, all this stuff, that's the area where we have to, you know, we have to calm that down. Once they know, they breathe, and they hear the f- the cer- chime, and they sit for, you know, this all takes three minutes. They know now their amygdala's not barking anymore, and they actually feel better. They're calmer. They know how to manage their emotions.

Lewis Howes 1:07:15 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 1:07:16 That's how they do it.

Lewis Howes 1:07:17 It's fascinating, 'cause I had the, uh, brain surgeon on the show a couple of times.

Goldie Hawn 1:07:22 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:07:22 Um, who's also a PhD in neuroscience. He's done over 1,000 brain surgeries-

Goldie Hawn 1:07:28 Ooh

Lewis Howes 1:07:28 ... but also studied the mind with neuroscience.

Goldie Hawn 1:07:30 I love that guy.

Lewis Howes 1:07:31 And I asked him, his name's Rahul, Dr. Rahul Jandial, and I asked him, "What's the number one skill you wish all human beings could learn to master?" And he said, "Emotional regulation." And this is a brain surgeon, neuroscientist talking about this.

Goldie Hawn 1:07:45 I mean, do-

Lewis Howes 1:07:46 And so-

Goldie Hawn 1:07:46 ... can we realize that if we had that, where we'd be today?

Lewis Howes 1:07:50 We'd be a lot happier.

Goldie Hawn 1:07:51 We would be, and we'd not be in strife the way we are in America right now. We'd have to be able to look really critically at how, where this is getting us.

Lewis Howes 1:08:00 Yes.

Goldie Hawn 1:08:00 You know? And that's a big, big part of regulating your temper. Same thing with relationships. Come on, guys.

Lewis Howes 1:08:06 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 1:08:07 I mean, we've gotta know how to self-regulate this.

Lewis Howes 1:08:10 Yes.

Goldie Hawn 1:08:10 Because why say things that are terrible, that, that nobody forgets? Words are like daggers. So it, it really gives you the opportunity to stop, hold on, and then decide to say maybe in a b- more skillful way. But man, you know, so that reactivity

Goldie Hawn 1:08:29 is dangerous, and we've seen a lot of people have that. And not mentioning no names. So that, that's, that's very damaging.

Lewis Howes 1:08:36 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 1:08:37 So he was right.

Lewis Howes 1:08:38 Yes. [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 1:08:38 And we agree. Yay. And I'm not a neuroscientist. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:08:42 [laughs] How can we, uh, how can we support this? It's mindup.org, but what can people do to, to be of support to this mission you're on?

Goldie Hawn 1:08:49 Well, thank you, sweetie. It's money, really. I mean, any time you're, you've got a foundation, you... I mean, no, no money, no mission. And, you know, we're, we've been doing this for a long time, and I don't like to ask for money. It's not my thing to do. But you realize that when you see these children, of course, I mean, it's just... I have to tell you one story, though. I love these kids so much. We're... So this little boy was, um, basically non-verbal, autistic, and he came into the school in New York City, and, uh, when he was, uh, kindergarten. So now he's in fourth grade, and he's doing much better. And I heard about him before I met him, 'cause I went to the school just recently, about three weeks ago. He is more verbal. He's sweetest thing on God's earth. And so the principal asked him if he would like to come into her office over the PA system and ring the chime.

Lewis Howes 1:09:49 Mm.

Goldie Hawn 1:09:50 And he said yes. So he went upstairs, he went to the v- to the office, he rang the chime, and then he shared and guided the entire brain break.

Lewis Howes 1:10:01 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:02 Said quietly, "Put your hands up." He remembered all of it.

Lewis Howes 1:10:06 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:06 She called our office in N- in New York and said, "I, I have to tell you this," because this is a, an autistic child. He couldn't speak when he came in. The fact that he understood the brain break. So that's what I'm saying.

Lewis Howes 1:10:20 Mm-hmm.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:21 You know, he's learning how to self-regulate himself.

Lewis Howes 1:10:23 Wow.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:25 And, you know, there's, there's a, when you, when you, when you feel like that, you've done something.

Lewis Howes 1:10:29 Yes.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:29 That's you that did it.

Lewis Howes 1:10:30 Yeah.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:31 And so, ah, I love it so much. How, how about I'm still passionate after 21 years?

Lewis Howes 1:10:38 That's amazing.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:39 I mean, it's like making a movie for 21 years.

Lewis Howes 1:10:41 [laughs]

Goldie Hawn 1:10:41 One movie. It's like-

Lewis Howes 1:10:43 Yeah, yeah

Goldie Hawn 1:10:43 ... producing one movie. It's like, I don't know. I've just got, what is it? Tenacity and love in my heart. I can only say that.

Lewis Howes 1:10:49 That's beautiful.

Goldie Hawn 1:10:50 So money-

Lewis Howes 1:10:51 That's beautiful

Goldie Hawn 1:10:51 ... it is really about, you know, it doesn't matter how much, but if you could give a bit to, you know, mindup.org. It has a thing, donate now. Um, but, uh, but it would be awesome.

Lewis Howes 1:11:01 That's beautiful. Well, I'm, I'm gonna go to mindup.org and make a donation today for you, so I appreciate the mission you're on-

Goldie Hawn 1:11:06 Thank you

Lewis Howes 1:11:06 ... the cause you're on to help kids. Um-

Goldie Hawn 1:11:08 Thank you, sweetheart

Lewis Howes 1:11:09 ... this is, this has been beautiful, Goldie. I appreciate you. I wanna ask you a couple final questions, if that's okay.

Goldie Hawn 1:11:14 Yeah, that's fine.

Lewis Howes 1:11:15 Um, but I want people to go to mindup.org. Check it out. E- even if you don't donate, just go check it out and see how you can be a part of it in some way. But if you can give some money, give some money as well.

Goldie Hawn 1:11:24 Of course.

Lewis Howes 1:11:24 Mindup.org. Uh, you're on social media, Goldie Hawn as well everywhere, but mindup.org is the main place for people to go. Um,

Lewis Howes 1:11:35 couple final questions for you, Goldie. Before I ask them, I just wanted to acknowledge you for the realness that you have. Your parents said, like, the real, be real.

Goldie Hawn 1:11:43 Yeah, right.

Lewis Howes 1:11:44 It's a great lesson, and this is, since the moment you walked in to this moment, you've been real this whole time.

Goldie Hawn 1:11:49 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:11:49 And I appreciate that East Coast vibe that you bring.

Goldie Hawn 1:11:52 I, I know. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:11:52 That East Coast energy, you know? Um, so I wanna acknowledge you for, one, living a life authentic and true to you and pursuing your dreams, but also being a great mother, uh, being a great partner in relationship, and also using your talent, your time, and your money to invest in a cause that you care about with this foundation with kids. So I really acknowledge you for just an incredible journey that you've been building and creating for yourself. And also, like I said before, that your kid- your adult children wanna spend a lot of time with you. For me, that's a big measure of success in my mind, when adult kids wanna hang out with their parents still.

Goldie Hawn 1:12:35 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 1:12:35 So you've been doing something right.

Goldie Hawn 1:12:37 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:12:37 So I acknowledge you for, for all these things.

Goldie Hawn 1:12:39 Anchor. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:12:40 Yeah, anchor, yes, exactly. Uh, but I acknowledge you for all of that, and, um, and I'm, and I can't wait to see what else you continue to create ... on this beautiful journey.

Goldie Hawn 1:12:49 Thank you.

Lewis Howes 1:12:49 Um, this question I ask everyone towards the end of my interview-

Goldie Hawn 1:12:52 Okay

Lewis Howes 1:12:53 ... is called the three truths. So it's a hypothetical scenario.

Goldie Hawn 1:12:56 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:12:57 Imagine, uh, you get to live as long as you want.

Goldie Hawn 1:13:00 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 1:13:01 But it's the last day. You get to continue to create everything, your mission continues to build in bigger ways. You do more movies.

Goldie Hawn 1:13:08 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:13:08 Or whatever you wanna do, you continue to do it.

Goldie Hawn 1:13:11 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:13:11 But for whatever reason, on the last day, you have to take all of your art and work and content with you to another place. So no one has access to your movies, this conversation is gone.

Goldie Hawn 1:13:23 Wow.

Lewis Howes 1:13:23 Your two books that you've written, you know, all these things, for some reason, it's all gone. Hypothetical scenario. And on the last day, you get to leave behind only three things, three lessons you would share with the world. I call it the three truths.

Goldie Hawn 1:13:38 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:13:38 So we wouldn't have access to any other content of yours except for these three things. What would those three lessons or three truths be for you?

Goldie Hawn 1:13:47 Well, obviously the first truth would be happiness is one of the more important emotions to nurture throughout your lifetime. Don't believe everything you read. Don't concretize your thoughts and your opinions. Allow them to change if they will. So there.

Lewis Howes 1:14:16 I love it, I love it.

Goldie Hawn 1:14:17 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:14:18 Um-

Goldie Hawn 1:14:19 That's a great question, though.

Lewis Howes 1:14:20 Thank you. Yeah, appreciate it. Those was good answers. Um, final question, Goldie: What is your personal definition of greatness?

Goldie Hawn 1:14:30 Well, my father said, "Don't ever stop appreciating a good glass of water." And that's pretty great.

Speaker 1:14:40 So I always say start with doing something new. It can be as simple as driving a different way to work or a different

Speaker 1:14:48 way to a friend's house, whatever, or walking a different way, just so that your eyes can see something it has never seen before.

Lewis Howes 1:14:56 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:14:56 Something new that shifts the brain.

Lewis Howes 1:14:58 Yes.

Speaker 1:14:58 Right? Um, and-