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Lewis HowesLewis Howes

Stanford Luck Researcher: Manifest Your Dream Life | Dr. Tina Seeling

What if the story you keep telling about yourself is the only thing standing between you and everything you want?

Lewis HoweshostDr. Tina Seeligguest
Jul 22, 20261h 14mWatch on YouTube ↗

Summaries, chapters, transcripts, and FAQs on this page are made by uListen, not YouTube.

Transcript

  1. 0:00 – 3:41

    The Science of Luck

    1. LH

      So is there a science to being luckier in your life?

    2. TS

      Oh, absolutely. The definition of luck is success or failure apparently caused by chance. It looks, and it might look to you, or it might look to someone else, like it was caused by chance, but when you pull back the curtain, you see all the things that happened, like applying for that job. I'm lucky that I got an interview or a second interview. Guess what? I wrote that thank you note, or I was prepared. There were lots of things I did to get me to the next step.

    3. LH

      She's a Stanford professor, a best-selling author, and one of the world's leading voices on creativity. Please welcome Dr. Tina Seelig.

    4. TS

      The most common thing I say at work is, "What can I do for you? What can I do for you? How can I be helpful?" Most of the time people don't need anything, but if they do, it's usually something little that would be easy for me, like a little five-minute favor that I can do. It's really meaningful to them.

    5. LH

      What would you say, then, is the formula to creating more luck in your life?

    6. TS

      Okay. The framework that I present in my book is that-

    7. LH

      So is there a science to being luckier in your life?

    8. TS

      Oh, absolutely. Uh, I think it's very, very important for us to start with a definition, because-

    9. LH

      Of luck.

    10. TS

      Yes.

    11. LH

      What is the definition of luck?

    12. TS

      Okay. So when I ask people, there's a lot of hand-waving. It's like... But the definition is really important. The definition of luck is success or failure apparently caused by chance. Apparently.

    13. LH

      Mm.

    14. TS

      It looks, and it might look to you, or it might look to someone else, like it was caused by chance, but when you pull back the curtain, you see all the things that happened that, that set the stage-

    15. LH

      Mm-hmm

    16. TS

      ... for something really lucky to happen. Also, it's extraordinarily important to differentiate between fortune and luck.

    17. LH

      What's the difference?

    18. TS

      Big difference. Fortune is the things that happen to you. Luck is something over which you have much more control. So you're not... You're fortunate or unfortunate where you're born.

    19. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    20. TS

      You know, who your parents are, what the weather is on your birthday.

    21. LH

      Right.

    22. TS

      I mean, all these things that are out of your control. I was thinking this morning, "Boy, I'm so fortunate there's no traffic on my way to the airport," right? These things were out of my control. But luck is something that I control, like applying for that job, right? I'm lucky that I got an interview or a second interview. Guess what? I wrote that thank you note or I was prepared. There were lots of things I did to get me to the next step. And we're in a constant dance in our lives between fortune and luck, the things that happen to us and how we respond, and sometimes that dance is so closely tied that it's hard to differentiate.

    23. LH

      Mm.

    24. TS

      But if you really tease them apart, you start seeing the places where you have more agency than you might think.

    25. LH

      Where do you feel like you're the luckiest in your life?

    26. TS

      Oh, my goodness. I would say the people in my life. I really have the most wonderful family, the most wonderful friends, and I realize that I cultivate that. I spend a lot of time doing things for other people. The most common thing I say at work is, "What can I do for you?"

    27. LH

      Mm.

    28. TS

      "What can I do for you? How do I, how can I be helpful?" And also with friends, you know, "What can I do to be helpful?" Usually the things... Most of the time people don't need anything, but if they do, it's usually something little that would be easy for me, like a little five-minute favor that I can do that me- it's really meaningful to them. Making introduction, giving them a resource, helping them find their way through some, you know, political quagmire that they don't understand.

    29. LH

      Mm.

    30. TS

      Like, "Oh, wow, thank you so much."

  2. 3:41 – 7:04

    The 30-Second Luck Text

    1. LH

      towards the beginning of my speech that has everyone take out their phone and think about one person in their life that they, has done something for them that they wanna appreciate, and send them a quick little text towards the beginning-

    2. TS

      Mm

    3. LH

      ... of my speech appreciating them and just say, "I appreciate you for this." And it's amazing at the end of my speech I say, "Take out your phone and see if those people replied."

    4. TS

      I love that.

    5. LH

      And people are like, the responses they get are so much gratitude and appre- and appreciation in return. And I say, "Listen what you just created with 15 seconds of sending an appreciation text to a friend or whoever, family member, coworker. The bond you created with that individual and how it made them feel today goes so far into the future for creating luck for you, the potential for more good to happen, and all it took was 30 seconds."

    6. TS

      Well, it's such a great example. I just love that. That's so totally brilliant to do that and, you know, in a short period of time. Well, um, just a few weeks ago as an experiment, right? I do a lot of experimenting, and that's actually another aspect to luck is try lots of things, keep what works. I mean, clearly this podcast at some point was an experiment-

    7. LH

      Yes

    8. TS

      ... and you just kept adding more fuel to the fire. That's another thing, like building on success.

    9. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    10. TS

      So again, you know, pulling it apart, but I did an experiment. I ran a free online luck makeover workshop. I thought, "What's the minimum viable intervention I could have to help people get luckier?" And I just put it on LinkedIn. I had about 75 people who signed up, and I just did two Sunday, two one-hour workshops one week apart. And we went through all these different things that people can do to be luckier, and they had to then make a commitment to do something during the week and then report back the next week. A number of people chose appreciation. So can I give you some examples of what happened?

    11. LH

      As, as one of the, as one of the things that they were gonna do.

    12. TS

      As one of the things they were gonna do that week. So can I give you some examples?

    13. LH

      Yes, let's hear it.

    14. TS

      Okay. So one person went to get their car fixed and when they got their car fixed, um, they were so appreciative of the mechanic. They said, "Thank you so much. You did a great job. The car is working so beautifully now and it's really clean. I, I couldn't be more delighted with how your customer service was." And the guy said, "You know what? I'm gonna give you $80 off."

    15. LH

      Mm.

    16. TS

      Instantly, right? Appreciation.

    17. LH

      Just because of appreciation?

    18. TS

      Because of appreciation. Another person called up, uh, someone who had been a mentor to them and helped them get a job a year earlier and gave them some coaching, and they said, "You know what? Call- I called them up a year later and said, "I just wanna let you know how things are going, and I really appreciate all the advice you gave me." At the end of the call, they had some other really cool opportunities they hadn't known about before. And a third person contacted their chess coach. She was a woman. She was, I think, at Oxford, and she was now grad, poor grad student, and she had been a chess, a, a professional chess player. She called up her chess coach she hadn't talked to in three years.

    19. LH

      Mm.

    20. TS

      And said, "I just wanna thank you so much for everything you did for me. That was really meaningful." And at the end of the call, he said, "You know what? I'd be happy... I know you can't afford it. I will coach you for free."

    21. LH

      Mm.

    22. TS

      "If you, maybe you can help me, uh, hone my English."

    23. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    24. TS

      And all three of them, I mean, realized there's no statute of limitations, right? It doesn't mean you have to do it right away. Like, even three years later, it was valuable.

    25. LH

      Wow. That's beautiful. What would you say, then, is the formula to creating more luck in your

  3. 7:04 – 10:54

    Formula for Catching Luck

    1. LH

      life?

    2. TS

      Okay. So the framework that I present in, in my book is that luck is ubiquitous. Opportunities for good luck are plentiful, but they're like the wind. They're invisible. They're powerful, and they're ever present, but they're invisible. And so if they're like the wind, you need a sail to catch them.

    3. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    4. TS

      And so how do you catch the winds of luck? That's the framework. And so there are three things you need to do, major things. One is you need to build that ship. That's all the internal work you have to do. Think of the quote, "Fortune favors the prepared mind." That ship is your prepared mind.

    5. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    6. TS

      Next, you need to recruit your crew because luck sailed them, seldom sails solo, right? You need other people. This is, the appreciation plays into that.

    7. LH

      Team sport. Yeah.

    8. TS

      Exactly. Luck is a team sport. And third is, how do you hoist the sail? So that is the things you do every single day to catch that wind that's blowing by.

    9. LH

      Wow. Didn't you have an image of this, too? Did you have a-

    10. TS

      I do, I do, I do. You wanna see?

    11. LH

      Yes. See it.

    12. TS

      Oh, where did it go?

    13. LH

      It's right here.

    14. TS

      Oh.

    15. LH

      Yeah.

    16. TS

      Yeah. So I created this little image. Can you see that?

    17. LH

      Yeah.

    18. TS

      And the thing that's really fun about this image is I wanted to capture all the ways that you can engage with the winds of luck.

    19. LH

      Okay.

    20. TS

      So if you're engaging with the winds of luck, you can stay inside. You can essentially ignore it. Shut the curtains. Shut the blinds. Say, "I really don't care. My life is my life. I'm not gonna do anything about it." You can be a wind vane on the top of the house-

    21. LH

      Spinning, huh?

    22. TS

      ... where you are looking at it. You notice it, but you don't do anything.

    23. LH

      Oh.

    24. TS

      You know, it's funny, I was thinking about this yesterday 'cause I was giving a talk at a part of Stanford campus I haven't been to frequently. And I thought, "Wow, there are all these things out the window here that I'm actually not very familiar with, and here I am on this campus, and I see it. Am I going to engage or not?"

    25. LH

      Mm.

    26. TS

      Right? We often see things that are there, opportunities, but we don't do anything.

    27. LH

      Yes.

    28. TS

      We go, "You know what? I need to go to that museum. I need to introduce myself to that person. I need to engage because otherwise I'm just a wind vane spinning around, seeing it, but not actually doing anything."

    29. LH

      Yes.

    30. TS

      You can be a hot air balloon, and that's actually an interesting thing. Sometimes in our life we have to be a hot air balloon, you know. Letting the winds take us where they may. And, um, I know that I, when I moved out to California when I was much younger and I was like, "I just wanna be a leaf in the wind. I wanna see what opportunities surface." And so there, there are times in our life where we wanna sort of... Like when you're in college.

  4. 10:54 – 16:33

    Core Values Protect Opportunities

    1. LH

      that would shock most people?

    2. TS

      You know, there's some foundational things that people don't realize affect their luck. So the opening chapter is about values-

    3. LH

      Mm-hmm

    4. TS

      ... and why you need to be really clear on your core values to be luckier.

    5. LH

      Why is that?

    6. TS

      Because, well, all you have to do is read the newspaper every day and see people who weren't clear on their core values who end up in prison.

    7. LH

      Uh-huh.

    8. TS

      Right? People who get on a slippery slope, make decisions that were not smart. If you take the time to really think about what's important to you, what you won't compromise, so that when you're asked to do something, you know, "Well, will you just fudge these numbers?"

    9. LH

      Mm.

    10. TS

      "Or will you just exaggerate, you know, what this product does?" Or for me, it was a situation when I was in just my first job out of school. I was asked to misrepresent myself at a conference.

    11. LH

      Wow.

    12. TS

      And to go there, not tell people I was part of working for the company, and to say I was Tina Seelig from Stanford.

    13. LH

      Uh.

    14. TS

      You know, just be their-

    15. LH

      Mm. Research and-

    16. TS

      Yeah

    17. LH

      ... spy a little bit.

    18. TS

      Exactly.

    19. LH

      Yeah, yeah.

    20. TS

      Yeah, but I got caught. I got caught.

    21. LH

      'Cause you lied about earning your-

    22. TS

      'Cause I lied.

    23. LH

      Yeah, yeah.

    24. TS

      I lied. I mean, and I didn't for one second even take the time-

    25. LH

      Oh

    26. TS

      ... to think That, wow, this was actually not okay. And there are lots of ways to inoculate yourself against m- making decisions like that. You could have a personal board of advisors, you know, people who you can go to and say, "Hey, listen, Lewis, does this smell right?" You know? "I'm being asked to do this. Is this okay? Imagine it on the front page of the newspaper." You know, how would I feel if the story of what I did was something that everybody knew? And also being able to walk away, knowing that that's an option, that you can, if you're being asked to do something that you doesn't, isn't consistent with your values-

    27. LH

      Mm

    28. TS

      ... that you can say no.

    29. LH

      That's so, that's so interesting because, you know, I say that not all money is good money. And in my business-

    30. TS

      Mm-hmm

  5. 16:33 – 22:48

    Relationships Compound Into Luck

    1. LH

      Uh-huh

    2. TS

      ... as people define it, and actually building real relationships.

    3. LH

      Real relationships.

    4. TS

      I mean, honestly, I can't stand the concept of networking. I mean, silly, what a waste of time. It's really about building trust. And so when you ask, what are the things that people misunderstand about luck, building trusting relationships over time, uh, is really powerful. In fact, I have a story about one of my former students who ended up becoming the videographer for Kamala Harris at the White House.

    5. LH

      Wow.

    6. TS

      How did she get that job? Well, she had a professor when she was in college who she took a documentary class, loved the class, and stayed in touch over 10 years. Just stayed in touch with this professor, sent samples of things she was doing, and, you know, they w- they just became colleagues and friends. And when she graduated from graduate school, she sent out hundreds of applications for jobs and could not get a job. She was really panicked, and she reached out to this professor and said, "Hey, I'm just really struggling. I just need one job. Like, I can't even get an answer." And the professor said, "You know, I just got a call from a friend who's trying to source some candidates for this job at the White House. May I throw your hat in the ring?" And lo and behold, she got the job.

    7. LH

      Wow.

    8. TS

      But she would not have gotten the job if she'd just reached out to this professor, you know, out of the blue- Right? It was they-

    9. LH

      Mm-hmm

    10. TS

      ... they had a 10-year-long real relationship-

    11. LH

      Yeah

    12. TS

      ... that opened the door to something really special.

    13. LH

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    14. TS

      Well, let me tell you. It can go both ways, right? You can have a negative experience-

    15. LH

      Oh

    16. TS

      ... that people, you know, basically say, "No, I'm not gonna work with you." I mean, luck is a long game.

    17. LH

      Yes.

    18. TS

      I mean, sure, you get, uh, calls for references for people.

    19. LH

      Sure.

    20. TS

      And you have to decide, "Wow, is this someone who I wanna support or not?"

    21. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    22. TS

      There's a, a funny story. Um, about 18 years ago, I was on a trip with my family to Costa Rica, and I was so excited about this trip. Our son was about 16, 17 years old. So excited. The trip was over the Christmas break, and we got there, and this trip turned into a disaster.

    23. LH

      Really?

    24. TS

      A disaster. Um, they... The... It was a Stanford alumni trip. They had scoped out the trip during the off-season, and when we got there, it was on s- it was high season.

    25. LH

      Ah.

    26. TS

      And it turned into, like, a party place.

    27. LH

      Oh.

    28. TS

      There were bars in the pool. The drinking age was not enforced. The music was blaring day and night. We were right at the beach, so it was really dangerous. The alcohol, the wa- uh, there were a lot of parents who were so upset, they just took off.

    29. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    30. TS

      Other parents who were really angry and screaming at, yelling at the staff, who certainly had, had nothing to do with planning this trip. They were just running it.

  6. 22:48 – 26:05

    Hidden Stories Block Luck

    1. LH

      that causes most people to miss lucky opportunities even when they're right in front of them, even if there's something right in front of them that they could take, but they miss it?

    2. TS

      Okay. I, I, I love that question. I mean, I don't know if you know I'm a neuroscientist-

    3. LH

      Yes

    4. TS

      ... right? So-

    5. LH

      Yes

    6. TS

      ... I certainly... I'm not gonna answer this from a neuroscience perspective, but it's kind of fun that you asked me about-

    7. LH

      Yeah

    8. TS

      ... the brain. I think a lot of it has to do with the story people tell about who they are in the world, that we all have a story. Not just the story we tell ab- about ourselves, but also the story other people tell us about ourselves. You know, we're constantly integrating, you know, how people are treating us and how we think about the opportunities, and sometimes we don't take opportunities because we don't think we deserve them or we don't think we can do it.

    9. LH

      Mm.

    10. TS

      You know, we limit ourselves. I have such, um... Because I have so many students, I get to see every single day how their stories get manifest in the world, right? Those people who have a can-do attitude and feel, "Sure, I can do that. Give me a hard problem. I can crack it."

    11. LH

      "I'll figure it out."

    12. TS

      "I'll figure it out." And the others who go, "Oh, no, no, I can't do that," or, "I'm wanna be the president of my home country," or, "Oh, gosh, I would like to..." You know, they have very low aspirations for themselves, and I think- It's incredibly important for us to each own our story. If you think about it, it's the same skills, same skills to do something on a tiny stage as a big stage.

    13. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    14. TS

      And you get to decide what stage you play out your life.

    15. LH

      That's true. Wow.

    16. TS

      You get to decide. Now, there's nothing wrong with playing out your life on a small stage. That might be super comfortable, and that's what you want, but I think you should be intentional about it.

    17. LH

      Is there anything that's felt scary to you when luck has come to you?

    18. TS

      Oh, that's an interesting question. What would be an example? I... Tell me, what... How would you answer that?

    19. LH

      I mean, of like, where you're like, "Wow, this massive opportunity came to me, and like every week and every month, there's just more good things that come to me constantly. My life is so lucky, and it's just bigger and bigger." Have you ever felt that way? Like, why is this happening to me versus it doesn't happen for others? Do you feel guilty about how lucky you are?

    20. TS

      When one person... I'm gonna, I'm gonna say this in more generically than personally.

    21. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    22. TS

      But when one person in a friendship or in a group of friends-

    23. LH

      Family

    24. TS

      ... have a fam- family is having a lot of luck-

    25. LH

      Mm-hmm

    26. TS

      ... and other... someone else is struggling, it creates a lot of tension because, you know, the person who's really struggling is probably frustrated, envious, disappointed, and there may be things that they're doing. It might not just be bad fortune, right? It could be. It could be health issues. It could be... I mean, there are all sorts of things that can happen that really get in the way, that are headwinds that, you know, really push you back, but I think that's the biggest problem when one person is really successful and has a lot of, had a lot of good fortune.

    27. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    28. TS

      Um, even if they've worked really hard for it, even if they have, it's difficult when there are people who, who haven't.

    29. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    30. TS

      And that creates a tension. I think the question then is: How can you be as generous as you can to those and help them in a way that would be meaningful?

  7. 26:05 – 37:06

    Map Your Risk Profile

    1. LH

      right?

    2. TS

      Yeah.

    3. LH

      Can you share what this is?

    4. TS

      Yes. So one of the things that I spend a lot of time with my students is helping them understand how to take risks because-

    5. LH

      Do you have to take risks in order to be lucky?

    6. TS

      You bet. You have to push yourself. You have to get out of your comfort zone. But let me ask you a question. Are you a risk-taker?

    7. LH

      Yes.

    8. TS

      Okay. That was a trick question, though, because there are lots of different types of risk.

    9. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    10. TS

      Right? Risk is not binary, right? There are physical risks.

    11. LH

      Yes.

    12. TS

      Probably you very comfortable taking physical risks. There are intellectual risks-

    13. LH

      Mm-hmm

    14. TS

      ... right? Taking on a big problem.

    15. LH

      Social risks.

    16. TS

      Social risks-

    17. LH

      Yeah

    18. TS

      ... so getting up and giving a talk in front of a big group.

    19. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    20. TS

      Okay, emotional risks, telling people how you feel. There are financial risks, right? Investing in a company. Political risks, you know, speaking truth to power. So this is a risk-o-meter, a risk-o-meter that we developed in our class where students get to... And you can do it, too.

    21. LH

      Well-

    22. TS

      You want to be a student.

    23. LH

      Yeah, yeah.

    24. TS

      Uh, map their risk profile. So it's, uh, called a spider chart because the... Looks like a spider web. The inside is at the bottom, and the ordinate is zero and then 10 at the end.

    25. LH

      Ooh.

    26. TS

      And so you map your risk profile, so-

    27. LH

      1 to 10

    28. TS

      ... 1 to 10.

    29. LH

      10 being you're willing to take the most risk.

    30. TS

      Exactly. Exactly.

  8. 37:06 – 42:48

    Frame-Storming and Problem Solving

    1. TS

      storm, so that's what I call it, to-

    2. LH

      Frame storm

    3. TS

      ... frame storm, that is to brainstorm the question you're asking before you even start coming up with the solutions is really important. Because what you're asking is, you know, you're assuming that you know what the problem is, right? If you're saying, "I want to, um, I wanna get married," right? Well, what is it that you really want? I want compa- is it that you want companionship? Is it that you want security? Is it you want children? Like, there are lots of things.

    4. LH

      You don't wanna be alone maybe.

    5. TS

      I don't wanna be alone, right. I, uh, so I- it's really important to frame storm and to think what problem you're really trying to solve before you run to the solution. We so often think that we know what the right problem is, and we race-

    6. LH

      Mm

    7. TS

      ... you know, especially in school. You know, you're, you're like, how quickly can you do your multiplication tables? You know, you rush to the answers, but living in the problem space and really understanding what the issue is at the beginning is one of the most powerful things you can do.

    8. LH

      Mm.

    9. TS

      Can I... Okay. You want me to give you a, a fun example-

    10. LH

      Yeah

    11. TS

      ... from my classes on creative problem solving? So I will ask people, okay, since I just flew here, I'll say, you know, um, everybody has a suitcase, right? And I'll say, "Okay. Make a list of all the things you love and hate about your suitcase." So people will make all sorts of, you know, the handle gets stuck, the wheels get dirty, there's not enough space, blah, blah, blah. It's too heavy, I have to lift it. Uh, whatever, all the things they don't like about their suitcase. So I said, "Great. Design a new suitcase that solves these problems." So they go and they quickly, you know, they're so excited designing this brand-new suitcase. I go, "Great. Why do we use a suitcase in the first place?" And they're stuck. It's like what? Now what, what problem were we really trying to solve with a suitcase? And it takes them a while to figure it out because we just assume we have to use a suitcase, but we use a suitcase because we want to have the things we need at our destination.

    12. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    13. TS

      We don't use a suitcase because we love packing a suitcase or we like dragging a suitcase around-

    14. LH

      Right

    15. TS

      ... or we like losing our suitcase. We, we use a suitcase despite the fact that we hate using a suitcase. So I go, "Solve that problem, the problem of how do I have the things I need at my destination?"

    16. LH

      Mm. The School of Greatness is brought to you in partnership with Airbnb, and when you travel for a big event, you realize how much the right space matters. It's so important. A game, a conference, a tournament, a weekend that you've been looking forward to for months. After a full day out, it feels so good to come back to a place that feels comfortable, grounded, and more like home. That's one of the things I appreciate about Airbnb, because people are traveling for meaningful moments all the time, and having a space that feels warm and welcoming can make the entire experience better. And it also makes me think about how many moments are happening in our own cities all the time, whether it be a game or a tournament or a conference or a big weekend that can bring so many people into town. And for anyone who has a space that they've thought about sharing, those big event weekends can be a great opportunity to list it on Airbnb and also earn some extra income. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.com/host. You know, I go to back and forth to Mexico a lot 'cause my wife, um, is a movie star and makes movies there, and so she films a lot of movies there, in Mexico City mostly. And we were going back and forth and, you know, I was like, "Ah, I don't really like staying in a hotel," you know. It's just like a different hotel every time, and carrying this luggage and all this stuff, and I go, "Why don't we just get a small little place, and we just have our stuff here for enough for like a week or two at a time that I don't have to travel with a suitcase?" [laughs]

    17. TS

      Yeah.

    18. LH

      So may-

    19. TS

      Well, no, yeah

    20. LH

      ... maybe I went a little extreme where I was like, when I go to Mexico City, I just bring a backpack with a laptop, and I just show up and I'm relaxed and everything is there for me ready to go.

    21. TS

      But guess what? You didn't even need to buy the apartment. You coulda just left your suitcase there.

    22. LH

      I coulda done that too.

    23. TS

      You coulda just like had a hotel where you-

    24. LH

      Yes

    25. TS

      ... just leave the suitcase.

    26. LH

      Or we could ship our stuff beforehand or whatever it is.

    27. TS

      Exactly.

    28. LH

      Yeah.

    29. TS

      Or think about all the creative solutions. What about, um, you've got Airbnb c- for clothes.

    30. LH

      Mm-hmm.

  9. 42:48 – 49:50

    Build a Failure Resume

    1. TS

      One would be, so we talked about the risk-o-meter and risk-taking. I ask my students what the bottom is made of when they hit, when they fail. When they fail, what is the bottom made of? What's their mental model of what the bottom is made of?

    2. LH

      What do most people say?

    3. TS

      A black hole. You know, burning lava, broken glass. I was like, "Really? If you get a B on that exam, you're gonna die." You know?

    4. LH

      [laughs]

    5. TS

      Um, th- so I'm curious. When you hit bottom, what is it made of?

    6. LH

      It's more like sadness, depression.

    7. TS

      No, no, you need a physical.

    8. LH

      Oh, a physical thing.

    9. TS

      You need a physical thing.

    10. LH

      [sighs]

    11. TS

      Is it rubber? Is it a-

    12. LH

      No

    13. TS

      ... trampoline? Is it a-

    14. LH

      It's like maybe like rocky, cold.

    15. TS

      Okay.

    16. LH

      Yeah, like hard.

    17. TS

      It's hard.

    18. LH

      Rocky, cold.

    19. TS

      Okay. So this is so interesting, though, because who told you that? Like, where did you get that? And so there, th- some people who say a trampoline.

    20. LH

      Mm.

    21. TS

      Or a safety net.

    22. LH

      I like that. You just bounce right up.

    23. TS

      Bounce up.

    24. LH

      [laughs]

    25. TS

      But the thing is, you get to tell that, again, the story you tell.

    26. LH

      That's cool.

    27. TS

      And to help people become more resilient.

    28. LH

      Mm.

    29. TS

      Because resilience is one of the best ways to become luckier.

    30. LH

      Yes.

  10. 49:50 – 54:19

    Overcome Your Risk Aversion

    1. LH

      Yes

    2. TS

      ... your way.

    3. LH

      So how do you learn to retrain yourself to be lucky if you've always been risk averse and never felt like luck comes your way?

    4. TS

      But there are lots of little experiments you could do. Uh, one of my favorite things about being lucky is just meet new people, right?

    5. LH

      Yeah, that's big.

    6. TS

      Every new person you meet. I am addicted to talking to people standing next to me in line, talking to people sitting next to me on airplanes. I could tell you so many stories about the things that have happened. Some of my best friends have resulted by standing in line on the way to get on an airplane.

    7. LH

      Really?

    8. TS

      Yeah. And they've, like, changed my life. You know, we're sitting there chatting on the way, and the one person, my friend Beverly, we ended up switching seats to sit next to each other on the plane and then we talked the whole way. We've become, became fast friends. We've done a bunch of collaborations. Yeah.

    9. LH

      That's cool.

    10. TS

      And it's amazing. We met on, on an airplane. Um-

    11. LH

      And you took a risk just by saying, "Hello, how's your day?"

    12. TS

      Yeah.

    13. LH

      "What are you up to?"

    14. TS

      "Tell me what's going on."

    15. LH

      "Where are you going?"

    16. TS

      Yes, exactly. And one of the hacks there is, you know, have something with you, whether it's a ba- I, I never... I usually travel wearing something with a Stanford logo on it.

    17. LH

      Mm. So it attracts-

    18. TS

      Yeah

    19. LH

      ... and, uh, it's a signal.

    20. TS

      Yeah, somebody's gonna say something, "Oh, is that Stanford?"

    21. LH

      Yeah, what is that?

    22. TS

      Or, "Oh, went to Stanford. What is that?"

    23. LH

      That's the mascot trees or something.

    24. TS

      Right.

    25. LH

      What is it? A tree or... [laughs]

    26. TS

      Yeah, yeah, your dog, exactly. And then there's something, or you see something someone else has. "Oh, that's so interesting."

    27. LH

      It's so funny you say that because I'm from Ohio and anytime I see someone with an Ohio State hat-

    28. TS

      Yeah, yeah, yeah

    29. LH

      ... I say, I say, "OH," and you try to get a response-

    30. TS

      Yeah, yeah

  11. 54:19 – 59:08

    Scan for Hidden Opportunities

    1. LH

      But I always had the courage to ask people much older and wiser than me, like, "Man, how'd you do that?" You know, "Tell me more about this," or, "How you overcame this?" And just being fascinated on how people became who they were. And I didn't have to have any other skill or talent other than curiosity and being present.

    2. TS

      I love it. Curiosity is, is so important.

    3. LH

      It- it-

    4. TS

      I mean, it is, um, a superpower, and I learned how to be curious from my father.

    5. LH

      Really?

    6. TS

      My father was the most curious person [laughs] in the world, and he taught his grandkids to be... To- me, but also I watched him with his grandkids. Here's something you can do with your two daughters.

    7. LH

      Yes. Tell me.

    8. TS

      Okay, this is really a fun thing he used to do with his grandkids. Whenever they would go into a new room, it could be a restaurant, it could be a party, it could be somewhere, he'd say, "Okay, look around. Take a minute to look around," and then say, "Shut your eyes." And he would do... test them. How many windows are there?

    9. LH

      Mm.

    10. TS

      What color is the carpet? How many doors are there? What kind of light fixtures? You know, and, and how many tables are in the room? And they got so good at observation-

    11. LH

      Wow

    12. TS

      ... because they always knew their grandfather was gonna test them on-

    13. LH

      Gosh

    14. TS

      ... paying attention.

    15. LH

      Observation is a superpower.

    16. TS

      Yeah.

    17. LH

      And if you can observe people on, you know, their body language, what they're saying-

    18. TS

      Yeah

    19. LH

      ... what they're not saying, and just, uh, ask follow-up questions, I just feel like it goes a long way.

    20. TS

      Yeah. Then, and also just being so curious about everything. Um, another thing my dad used to do, we, uh, [laughs] we were kids and, uh, someone left the cap off the toothpaste tube. Okay, that was a very big transgression, right?

    21. LH

      [laughs]

    22. TS

      So he lined the three of us up and he did a lie detector test. He measured our pulses.

    23. LH

      He said, "Who left the cap off?"

    24. TS

      "What, what's your name? What's your favorite color? What's your birthday? Did you leave the cap off the [laughs] toothpaste tube?"

    25. LH

      Boop-a-boop-boop.

    26. TS

      [laughs] Uh, you know, just, like, turning everything into a bit of an experiment.

    27. LH

      That's cool.

    28. TS

      Yeah. So I think, you know, growing up in an environment where curiosity and experimentation are sort of everyl- everyday activities is-

    29. LH

      Mm

    30. TS

      ... is, uh, trains your mind to think that way.

  12. 59:08 – 1:05:50

    The Future Letter Technique

    1. TS

      Yeah. Uh, the concept of manifestation is really funny to me because, yes, it's a starting point to envision where you wanna go. That's like having your compass and knowing where you wanna go. But you have to do something, right? I can't manifest getting into medical school, right?

    2. LH

      Right.

    3. TS

      I can't... Now, I'll, I have to say, one of my students, um, he, he told me this story which I thought was brilliant, which he does, he writes a letter to himself from the perspective of the future of all the things he's accomplished.

    4. LH

      Mm, I love that.

    5. TS

      And he writes it in blue text, and every time he accomplishes something, he turns the text black until finally the whole letter is black, and then he writes a new letter. And so by writing this letter, he sort of sets an intention, but then he has to do it. So he actually went to medical school. So he-

    6. LH

      Right

    7. TS

      ... said, "I wanna go to medical school." And so what he did is okay. He's like, "Okay, I need to go study for my MCATs-

    8. LH

      Mm, mm

    9. TS

      ... and I need to go write my essay and I need to go do all of these things." So the manifestation is really about setting an intention. You know, you had to set an intention to salsa dance.

    10. LH

      Yes.

    11. TS

      You were not going to learn to salsa dance-

    12. LH

      No

    13. TS

      ... by, you know, thinking about it.

    14. LH

      Thinking about it.

    15. TS

      Yes. You need to get out there and move your feet.

    16. LH

      Yeah. I love that you talk about the intention, because in your book, on page 80 it says, "Luck favors those who are both clear in their intentions and bold enough to ask." And you give a framework for asking. And the first question is what do you need, who will you ask, and how will you ask such that it is likely to get a lucky response?

    17. TS

      Okay. This is important. Okay?

    18. LH

      Give it to me.

    19. TS

      All right. You need to ask for what you want from people who can help you, but you need to know how to ask in a way that they're likely to say yes.

    20. LH

      How do you do that?

    21. TS

      My guess is you get a lot of people asking you for things.

    22. LH

      Oh, all the time.

    23. TS

      And sometimes you just hit delete.

    24. LH

      Oh, yeah.

    25. TS

      And sometimes you answer right away.

    26. LH

      Yep.

    27. TS

      So first of all, people need to do their homework.

    28. LH

      Mm.

    29. TS

      Right? They need to know, like to say, "Hey, listen, you know, I know you're an expert in XYZ, I listen to your podcast, I have one question for you." Right? Ask for something little. Ask for something that is very specific to the person, and do your homework. Don't, don't say, "Can I meet you for coffee tomorrow?" That's another one.

    30. LH

      No, yeah.

  13. 1:05:50 – 1:10:19

    Stop Leaving Luck Behind

    1. TS

      I'll give you an example. I might invite in an amazing speaker. You come in-

    2. LH

      Mm-hmm

    3. TS

      ... and give a talk to the students, and at the end you go, "You know what? If, if you have any further questions, feel free to reach out. Here's my email." How many people are gonna reach out?

    4. LH

      Maybe one, maybe.

    5. TS

      Maybe. And you're like, "You're crazy."

    6. LH

      I gave my email to everyone, yes.

    7. TS

      I... Like, really and truly you didn't follow up?

    8. LH

      Crazy.

    9. TS

      Even just to say thank you.

    10. LH

      Thank you.

    11. TS

      Even to say thank you.

    12. LH

      There's a kid, now that I'm thinking about this, there's this kid- Who I spoke at my, uh, my alma mater a couple years ago, and there was a kid who graduated, like, last year who's been emailing me just saying thank you from, like, my talk there a couple years ago. And now he's coming to, like, live in LA, and he's been following up, like, every six months for the last couple years just saying, "Thank you," and, "Hey, I would love to meet you someday." And now he's moving here, and I'm supposed to meet him in the next couple weeks, I think. But it's because he continues to follow up, because he followed up after I spoke, that I'm like, "Yeah, come by the office and I'll meet you for an hour and connect."

    13. TS

      Yeah, and who knows?

    14. LH

      Who knows what'll happen? I don't know. But it's, it's, it's just taking the initiative when you... When someone's willing to reach out and say, "Hey, here I am. Feel free to reach out to me," most people don't follow up on it.

    15. TS

      Yeah. This is the, you know, luck seldom sails solo. You-

    16. LH

      Mm-hmm

    17. TS

      ... luck comes through other people.

    18. LH

      Yes.

    19. TS

      And understanding that and understanding the relationships that get built. I, I also talk about conflict resolution. You might be like, "Why is there conflict resolution?" Well, think about it. If you wake up every day and there's a conflict in your life, not only is it, you know, something negative, but it's something that weighs you down.

    20. LH

      Yes.

    21. TS

      You know, if you can get up in the morning and say, "I... My slate is clean."

    22. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    23. TS

      "I don't have anyone. I don't have anything that's perseverating in my brain, that story. I don't have a story that's going on," your f- mind is free.

    24. LH

      Your energy is more expansive.

    25. TS

      Exactly. When you... And so one is it's good for you, but it's also good, again, f- to have those relationships clean-

    26. LH

      Yes

    27. TS

      ... because, again, good luck comes through relationships.

    28. LH

      Absolutely. One of the things is, uh, there's two questions I try to ask most people, um, is, "What are you most excited about in your life right now?" Because for me, when someone is able to express their biggest joy and excitement, you never know what they're gonna say and how you can relate to that as well and connect on that level. And then the second question I like to ask is, "What's the biggest challenge you're faced with in your life right now?" And to see what opens up for them. Maybe it's not related to their career or business at all. It might be like, "Ah, my health challenge," or a relationship or this and that. And if you can be a s- a problem solver for someone's biggest challenge or add to their biggest excitement, that is going to, in my mind, it's always created more luck for me as well.

    29. TS

      Love it. Absolutely.

    30. LH

      Yeah.

  14. 1:10:19 – 1:14:44

    Three Final Luck Truths

    1. LH

      the three truths. So imagine, Tina, hypothetical, um, you get to live as long as you wanna live, but it's your last day on Earth-

    2. TS

      Oh

    3. LH

      ... many years away. And you get to create and do all the things you wanna do, but for whatever reason, you have to take all of your work with you on the last day. So this book, you know, your, the 30 books that you have by that point-

    4. TS

      [laughs]

    5. LH

      ... this conversation, it's gone, hypothetical. But on the last day, you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. I call it three truths. What would that be for you?

    6. TS

      Okay. Well, I can tell you I did my homework.

    7. LH

      I know you did.

    8. TS

      [laughs]

    9. LH

      You came prepared.

    10. TS

      So I've actually had some time to think about this-

    11. LH

      Good

    12. TS

      ... which was really fun.

    13. LH

      Most people don't. They're like, "Oh," you know?

    14. TS

      Yeah. It was really, no, but I've really thought about it seriously. What would the three truths be? So the first one is that we all have more agency in our life than we might think.

    15. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    16. TS

      And whenever we feel stuck, to realize what are the things I really do have, how c- what, what can I do with what I have?

    17. LH

      Yes.

    18. TS

      Um, constraints are often an incredible stimulator-

    19. LH

      Mm-hmm

    20. TS

      ... of creativity and problem-solving. Uh, what, what do you have?

    21. LH

      Yes.

    22. TS

      What, where, where is the agency that you have?

    23. LH

      Okay, that's one.

    24. TS

      Uh, the other is that most problems are actually opportunities.

    25. LH

      Mm.

    26. TS

      And the bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunity. And so if you're struggling with something, probably other people are, too. What is it that maybe you can not just solve it for yourself, but you can solve it for others? And that turns into a pretty big opportunity. So, um, r- reframing problems as opportunities.

    27. LH

      Okay.

    28. TS

      And the final one is, you know, luck really is a long game.

    29. LH

      Mm-hmm.

    30. TS

      And we are investing. I love the appreciation appreciates. Uh, so I'm gonna quote you on that. I'll give you attribution.

Episode duration: 1:14:45

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