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Lewis HowesThe KEY SIGNS You're Going To Become SUCCESSFUL & WEALTHY | Patrick Bet-David & Lewis Howes
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Chapter summaries
Why Sequencing Is the Key to Success
Lewis introduces Patrick and his book Your Next Five Moves, then asks whether we need to know the next five moves or just the first. Patrick explains that sequencing is the biggest difference-maker and tells the story of the morning his relationship, his top client and his top agent all fell apart at once.
- •Patrick argues the biggest key to success is the order in which you take steps
- •Trying to do move 14 on move three is the most common mistake
- •A single morning of a breakup text, a guilt-trip from his mom and a client and agent leaving made him ask what his next five moves were
- •The next move matters most because a wrong one can prevent you from reaching the fifth
Step One: Decide Who You Want to Be
Patrick says the first move is identifying who you want to be, not who others want you to be. He uses Vince Carter and Stephen A. Smith's comment to show the choice between going for all the marbles and living a simple life.
- •Your number one move is deciding who you want to be, independent of family or peers
- •If envy creeps in at someone else's success, you may not have been honest with yourself
- •The Vince Carter story illustrates the discomfort of unfulfilled talent
- •You must be clear whether you want all the marbles or a simple life
Finding Your Talents and Your Role
Patrick describes step two as identifying your talents and where they fit. He tells how Tom, a former company president, realized at 54 that he was not a good number one, and how seasons of life affect your role.
- •Step two is figuring out your talents and which industry can use them
- •Tom took 54 years to realize he was not a good number one
- •Sports examples like Scotty Pippen and Steve Kerr show different roles can lead to greatness
- •You may be a number six now and a good number one later
Sequencing in Practice: Chess, Kerkorian and Patrick's Missteps
Patrick explains sequencing through a morning routine and chess, and cites Kirk Kerkorian's rise. Lewis asks for times sequencing went wrong or right, and Patrick describes nearly marrying at 23 and starting his company before he was ready.
- •Master chess players know their next 10 to 15 moves while amateurs react
- •Kerkorian's path from pilot to MGM is offered as sequencing
- •Forcing marriage to please others set Patrick back three years
- •He started his company unprepared, with $13,000 in the bank, and had to make the best of the situation
Entrepreneur vs. Intrapreneur and Betting on Rising Stocks
Responding to Lewis's question, Patrick says the only difference between an intrapreneur and an entrepreneur is who put up the money. He cites Bob Iger and Steve Ballmer and suggests looking at people like stocks and locking onto rising ones early.
- •Intrapreneurs think and work like entrepreneurs but don't put up the money
- •Bob Iger and Steve Ballmer built huge wealth without being founders
- •Many entrepreneurs own 100% of businesses yet earn modestly
- •Look for small-cap people with big upside and attach yourself early
How Patrick Met His Wife and Why Marriage Is One Year at a Time
Lewis asks when Patrick knew his wife would be his wife. Patrick recounts the criteria he set after reading a book of questions, the Palm Springs conversation, the courtship, and the one-year-at-a-time philosophy.
- •He chose a wife by non-negotiable criteria after reading 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged
- •A Palm Springs conversation and a Christmas Eve call led to their first date
- •They went through the book's questions together early on
- •They take marriage one year at a time, without the pressure of perfection
Marriage, Targets and Accepting Imperfections
Lewis asks whether Patrick would be further along if single. Patrick says being married doesn't remove temptation, that single life consumes energy, and that you have to choose which annoying things you can accept.
- •Being married makes you a target just as being single does
- •Patrick says he has a system for managing temptation
- •Dating means constant energy spent on pleasing and managing relationships
- •Everyone has something annoying you must be willing to accept
What Rich People Do Differently: Relationships and Contacts
Asked for things rich people do that poor people don't, Patrick focuses on relationships built by giving value. He tells the Jamie Hepp and pastor stories, a tale of an overlooked client worth $50 million, and Lewis shares how his father's service mindset shaped his own approach.
- •Follow up with contacts and ask what you can do for them, not what you can get
- •One referral from Jamie Hepp helped open Florida
- •You can't know where a contact leads, as the $50 million biker client story shows
- •Lewis describes his father's handwritten letters and service-first approach
Patrick's Rules for Money: Game, Cash, Doubles and Patience
Patrick gives his rules on money: it's a game, you need cash for opportunities, it's a doubles game, and you must be patiently aggressive. He illustrates with the Wayne Gretzky card purchase, the math of doubling, Amazon and Berkshire examples.
- •Money is a game you can get better at with practice
- •Cash lets you act when opportunities arise, as with the Gretzky cards
- •$1,000 is nine doubles from a million, and a million is ten doubles from a billion
- •Patience matters because the biggest doubles come in years 15 to 25
- •Bezos's early investors and a $10,000 Berkshire investment show the payoff
Best Investments in Yourself and Losing a Job
Lewis asks about the best investments Patrick has made in himself. Patrick names Harvard's OPM program, Vistage and paid premium news subscriptions, and says that if you can't replace a job within four weeks your contact list is weak.
- •Harvard's OPM program gave him practical CEO insights from peers
- •Vistage offered monthly peer sessions with real business owners
- •Learn from real businesspeople rather than social media influencers
- •Paid, advanced articles are worth the subscription cost
- •Not being able to replace a job in four weeks signals weak contacts or value
Research, Levels and the Price of Going Big
Lewis asks how to build relationships when busy. Patrick explains that the level you want determines the effort, uses NBA alpha examples, and describes late-night research for interviews.
- •Preparation on the person is how Patrick approaches connecting
- •Different levels in the game require more meticulous strategy
- •Not everyone wants a four-hour workweek, and Patrick is a three-day vacation guy
- •Competing at the top requires paying a bigger price, including late-night research
- •Lewis says thoughtful attention is remembered for decades
Managing Guilt, Ambition and the Marriage Agreement
Patrick says the question he wishes he were asked is how to manage guilt when pursuing something big. He tells the greatest-general story, and describes how he and his wife prepared for the sacrifices of his lifestyle with counselors, then explains why marriage is so hard.
- •Chasing something big brings guilt, and not chasing it brings regret
- •The story of the man who could have been the greatest general illustrates fear
- •Patrick and his wife agreed upfront to the demands of his lifestyle
- •Marriage is hard because there is one spouse and you share a bed after a fight
Timing of Marriage, Temptation and Not Judging Others
Patrick advises not marrying in your twenties, discusses how dating apps and options increase temptation, and shares his dad's controversial advice. He ends with the walk-on-water exercise about not judging others' mistakes.
- •Patrick suggests marrying with a number starting with three
- •Dating apps and easy access create endless options and make loyalty harder
- •A mutual friend's line: you're only as loyal as your level of options
- •The pool exercise teaches not to judge others' mistakes
Final Questions: Three Truths and Defining Greatness
After sharing where to find him and his book offers, Patrick gives his three truths: process issues, practice your faith, and give back. He defines greatness as alignment between values and the life you live.
- •Truth one is to learn how to process issues, not just solve problems
- •Truth two is to seek and practice your own faith
- •Truth three is to make money, provide for family, then give back through public service or charity
- •Greatness means aligning values and principles with goals and dreams
- •The Bet-David family values include leading, respecting, improving and loving
