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Lewis Howes"This Was A KEPT SECRET By Monks" - Do This To CHANGE YOUR LIFE! | Jay Shetty
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Chapter summaries
Why Jay Became a Monk: "You Can't Be What You Can't See"
Jay Shetty explains he never planned to be a monk and expected a conventional career. A monk's talk at his London university, built around the idea of planting trees whose shade you won't sit in, led him to intern in India and fall in love with the monk lifestyle.
- •He grew up expecting to be an investment banker or strategy consultant, with doctor, lawyer or failure as the family options
- •A visiting monk who had left Google and Microsoft captivated him
- •The principle "plant trees under whose shade you do not plan to sit" meant selfless service
- •He split his holidays between corporate jobs and monk life, a kind of A/B test
- •He left for India right after graduating at 22 and skipped the ceremony
A Monk's Daily Schedule and Life in the Ashram
Jay walks through his daily routine: a 4:00 AM wake-up on a floor mat, group and private meditation, and Vedic study, followed by service work in the afternoon. He also covers how the ashram was funded and how he kept a balance with his family.
- •The morning ran 4:00 to 8:30 with meditation, chanting and a class on the Vedas
- •Afternoons went to teaching communities and building sustainable villages and food programs
- •Donor funding was used for the work, not for the monks themselves
- •He treats the monk's morning routine as the ancestor of today's morning-routine trend
- •Attachment and aversion are two sides of the same coin, so he kept in touch with his parents
Celibacy, Self-Actualization and Training Before Entering the World
Lewis asks why monks are celibate and whether growth also comes from experiencing life. Jay answers that celibacy frees time and focus for personal growth, compares it to athletes' discipline, and argues for building a strong foundation of self-awareness before engaging the world.
- •Relationships mean managing two minds and cost time and energy for your own growth
- •He compares monk discipline to athletes like David Beckham avoiding sex and alcohol before big games
- •Monk training ideally starts at age five, aimed at self-actualization
- •Schools tend to put things in rather than draw potential out
- •Monks still pitched to wealthy donors in the morning and laid bricks the next day
Perceived Identities and the Levels of Self-Awareness
Jay says what he noticed most after returning to the outside world was that people live in a perception of a perception and bury their real identity under many personas. He lays out self-awareness at the physical, mental and spiritual levels, and says we are wired for service.
- •The quote "I am what I think you think I am" shows how people live inside others' perceptions
- •People hold many identities (social media, boss, friends) and struggle to answer "Who are you?"
- •Physical self-awareness includes knowing his own sleep needs after leaving the monastery
- •Mental self-awareness means knowing who helps him grow and who drains him
- •A Michael Norton study found spending on others raised happiness 10 to 20%, unlike spending on oneself
The First Lesson at Monk School: Breath and Going to the Root
Jay shares what he learned on his first day of monk school: the first thing taught is how to breathe, because every emotion changes the breath. He widens this into a principle of dealing with problems at the root rather than the symptom.
- •A ten-year-old monk teaching five-year-olds said breath is the only thing that stays from birth to death
- •Stress, anger, sadness and happiness all change the breath
- •Athletes and musicians are trained in breathing, but most people are not
- •Quick fixes like a stress pill or Netflix only pacify, while going to the root takes longer but lasts longer
Weeds in the Heart and Intention of Service
Lewis asks whether Jay has weeds in his own life. Jay describes how his intention to serve gets crowded by voices urging him toward money and fame, and how he cuts them back daily and keeps his reason for acting in view.
- •A weed is an intention you don't want, and it can grow until it looks like the real one
- •His daily practice is refining his intention to use his following, money and network to help people
- •He cites Mark Zuckerberg's point that helping others find their purpose matters beyond finding your own
- •Both pure self-interest and giving more than you have lead to disconnection
- •He asks how to go three steps deeper to move forward and give more
Being Told to Leave the Ashram and Rebuilding at Home
After three years, Jay's teacher's teacher told him he would share the teachings better outside. Jay felt like he had failed, moved back with his parents with debt and no recent work experience, and spent nine to twelve months readjusting.
- •The teacher said he would be able to share what he'd learned if he left, which felt like a breakup
- •He returned with about $25,000 in debt, no work history and rejected corporate offers
- •Friends and family questioned whether he had failed at being a monk
- •He kept his practice and applied his training to the anxiety and pain of the real world
- •He realized things gain meaning when you give them meaning, including through service
From Accenture to YouTube and Going Viral
Jay describes speaking at companies after leaving, taking a job at Accenture to learn technology and social media, then quitting and facing media rejections. He started a YouTube channel in January 2016, and a HuffPost series with Arianna Huffington's team reached tens of millions of views.
- •Friends invited him to teach mindfulness at companies like Google and Starbucks
- •He joined social media only in 2014 and became Accenture's top social media influencer
- •Media companies and a news anchor told him to get a media degree, so he started YouTube as his last option
- •His belief is that all you need is one person to say yes
- •A four-video HuffPost series set the outlet's record for series views, and he moved to New York in 2016 to host a show
Why Brands Need Video and Transformational Storytelling
Asked what people misunderstand about video, Jay argues that demanding a measurable ROI misses the point, as with billboards. He urges brands to move from transactional to transformational thinking and to be content-led rather than marketing-led.
- •Not everything that counts can be counted, and video is a new billboard
- •The story of two reporters seeing barefoot India as no market versus a huge market illustrates seeing opportunity
- •He suggests focusing on the emotion and life change a product creates, like VR used to build empathy
- •He names five key emotions: adventure, controversy, comedy, inspiration and surprise
- •Bad content cannot be rescued by marketing spend
What Makes Content Watchable and Shareable
Jay explains that people must see themselves in the story, stay watching for a surprise or reveal, and feel the emotion deeply enough to share it. He uses his video "Before You Break Up, Watch This" and the film The Prestige as examples.
- •Viewers need to identify with a character, as with Marvel and DC origin stories
- •A reveal at the end, like the prestige in a magic trick, keeps people watching
- •Titles and captions should make the video feel instant and relevant
- •Content should be message-led rather than effects-led, and explain the why
Looking Back at Accenture and What He's Proud Of: Daily Meditation
Jay says he wouldn't change his time at Accenture, since the dots only connect looking back. Asked what people don't know about him, he points to two hours of daily meditation, and Lewis shares his own experience of meditating in India.
- •At Accenture he learned social media, relearned corporate culture and made lasting friends
- •The company is now one of his biggest clients
- •He is proud of maintaining two hours of meditation a day since leaving the monastery
- •Lewis describes a two-week practice in India and finding even 15 minutes powerful
- •Jay calls meditation a gym for the mind and says depth matters more than duration
His Wife, Daily Shortcomings and Past Shame
Jay says his wife, whom he met teaching meditation, now meditates better than he does. He admits snapping at her when focused on creative work, and talks about shame over his teenage years and past relationships.
- •His wife came to his classes after he left monk life and now wakes earlier and holds him accountable
- •He is unhappy when he snaps at her while writing scripts and needing silence
- •Between 14 and 18 he took drugs, stole, hot-wired cars and was suspended three times
- •He links his bad luck with cars to karma
- •He says these memories keep him humble
Humility, Ego and the Two Things to Remember and Forget
Jay says feeling safe is when you're most vulnerable, using Benjamin Franklin's thirteenth virtue, humility. He shares the monk teaching of two things to remember and two to forget.
- •Franklin said humility was the one he hadn't achieved, since claiming it would undo it
- •Ego is the enemy even in a well-intentioned life
- •Remember the bad you've done to others, which keeps you grounded, and the good others have done for you, which builds gratitude
- •Forget the good you've done for others to avoid ego growth
- •Forget the bad others have done to you so it doesn't drain your energy
Three Truths, Where to Find Jay and His Definition of Greatness
Lewis asks for the three truths that would last 5,000 years, and Jay gives three Vedic lessons: you are the soul, play to your own element, and lead with service. The conversation closes with where to find him, Lewis's acknowledgment of him, and Jay's definition of greatness.
- •First truth: you are a spiritual being having a human experience, not the reverse
- •Second: live in your own element, illustrated by the fish and tree analogy and Steve Jobs saying he plays the orchestra
- •Third: lead with service, and Gandhi's point about finding yourself by losing yourself in service
- •He posts two to three videos a week on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube, on relationships, passion and purpose, and success and greatness
- •Greatness is being great, teaching others to be great, and still not considering yourself great
