"This Was A KEPT SECRET By Monks" - Do This To CHANGE YOUR LIFE! | Jay Shetty

1. 0:00 – 11:03

   Why Jay Became a Monk: "You Can't Be What You Can't See"

   1. JSJay Shetty0:00

      The first thing you learn at monk school is learning how to breathe. Because we're taught that the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. When you get stressed, what changes? Your breath. When you get angry, what changes? Your breath. When you're sad, what changes? Your breath. When you're happy, what changes? Your breath. Every emotion is experienced with a change of the breath. He said when you learn how to navigate and manage your breath, you can actually navigate any situation in life.

   2. LHLewis Howes0:33

      Mm. [upbeat music] Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness podcast. We have the living legend Jay Shetty in the house.

   3. JSJay Shetty0:57

      [laughs]

   4. LHLewis Howes0:57

      Namaste.

   5. JSJay Shetty0:58

      This is the new greet, Lewis.

   6. LHLewis Howes0:59

      Namaste.

   7. JSJay Shetty1:00

      Lewis, this is the new greet.

   8. LHLewis Howes1:01

      This is the new greet.

   9. JSJay Shetty1:02

      [laughs]

   10. LHLewis Howes1:02

       Namaste.

   11. JSJay Shetty1:03

       The School of Greatness.

   12. LHLewis Howes1:04

       Yes, man. Good to have you here.

   13. JSJay Shetty1:05

       Good to be here.

   14. LHLewis Howes1:06

       Very excited. You, you came and spoke at my Greatness Mastermind over the weekend and people were blown away-

   15. JSJay Shetty1:11

       Thank you for having me

   16. LHLewis Howes1:11

       ... through your wisdom. Uh, you, we talked a lot about viral video and, and social media there, which maybe we'll get into a little bit-

   17. JSJay Shetty1:18

       We should

   18. LHLewis Howes1:19

       ... but I wanna, I wanna talk more about, uh, the things you've learned from pre- uh, monk hood to being a monk to now not being a monk.

   19. JSJay Shetty1:28

       Sure.

   20. LHLewis Howes1:29

       And when I met you, I didn't know you were a monk. I just saw you as the guy who had 50 to 100 million views of video on Facebook, which I think a lot of people are familiar with you-

   21. JSJay Shetty1:37

       Mm-hmm

   22. LHLewis Howes1:37

       ... from Facebook. You make wisdom go viral. You do these great parables, you do these great stories, lessons, insights. But I don't think you really started talking about being a monk until recently.

   23. JSJay Shetty1:48

       Yeah.

   24. LHLewis Howes1:49

       So I think people just were like, "Who is this guy, and how is he so insightful?"

   25. JSJay Shetty1:52

       Sure.

   26. LHLewis Howes1:53

       But then when I met you, I was like, oh, it's, it all makes sense now that you have all this wisdom. And you told me that a lot of your videos just were just notes from your books that you were writing, you know, your journal when you were a monk.

   27. JSJay Shetty2:03

       Yeah.

   28. LHLewis Howes2:03

       You would take all these notes down from the lessons you were learning.

   29. JSJay Shetty2:06

       Absolutely.

   30. LHLewis Howes2:07

       And now you're just going back and looking at those notes and saying, "Let me shoot a video about this"
2. 11:03 – 18:54

   A Monk's Daily Schedule and Life in the Ashram

   1. LHLewis Howes11:03

      What's a typical day like, then? What time did you wake up?

   2. JSJay Shetty11:06

      Yeah.

   3. LHLewis Howes11:06

      And you would wake up on, like, a concrete floor with, like, a little yoga mat type of thing?

   4. JSJay Shetty11:09

      Literally, yeah.

   5. LHLewis Howes11:10

      Some-

   6. JSJay Shetty11:10

      So we'd sleep on the floor

   7. LHLewis Howes11:11

      ... like, a bamboo mat or something?

   8. JSJay Shetty11:11

      The floor was wood. It was, it was like this.

   9. LHLewis Howes11:13

      Yeah.

   10. JSJay Shetty11:13

       This, this nice wood that you have here. It was decent wood. So [laughs] it was wood. You have a thin yoga mat. So anyone who does yoga knows those thin yoga mats, not the posh ones, and then your sleeping bag, literally.

   11. LHLewis Howes11:23

       So you had a sleeping bag, yeah.

   12. JSJay Shetty11:24

       Yeah, you get a sleeping bag, right? And you just-

   13. LHLewis Howes11:25

       A pillow or no pillow?

   14. JSJay Shetty11:26

       Uh, most people didn't use their pillows, but my sleeping ... I had a nice sleeping bag, you know?

   15. LHLewis Howes11:31

       You do, right. [laughs]

   16. JSJay Shetty11:32

       I was still, I was still that monk from London.

   17. LHLewis Howes11:33

       [laughs]

   18. JSJay Shetty11:33

       Like, everyone could tell, right? It was like-

   19. LHLewis Howes11:34

       Going, "Hey, he's a real monk"

   20. JSJay Shetty11:35

       ... "Oh, his sleeping bag looks a bit too premium," but I was like, you know, "This is the, this is-

   21. LHLewis Howes11:39

       Yeah

   22. JSJay Shetty11:39

       ... the least I can do."

   23. LHLewis Howes11:40

       Of course.

   24. JSJay Shetty11:40

       So I still had the premium sleeping bag. We'd wake up at about 4:00 AM every day. Every single day, 4:00 AM.

   25. LHLewis Howes11:46

       So the first week must have been a little rough to, like, get into the-

   26. JSJay Shetty11:48

       Well, you know what? The way I remember it is that I was so pumped that I'd talked myself into it. Plus I'd been doing it every summer.

   27. LHLewis Howes11:54

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JSJay Shetty11:55

       So it wasn't new. It wasn't like I just threw myself in. I'd lived like that for three summers.

   29. LHLewis Howes11:59

       Yeah.

   30. JSJay Shetty12:00

       So I was kind of aware of what it was like, but I'd pumped myself so much. I was going, "I'm gonna be there at 3:30," you know?
3. 18:54 – 22:55

   Celibacy, Self-Actualization and Training Before Entering the World

   1. LHLewis Howes18:54

      So, but you're not supposed to be in a relationship or-

   2. JSJay Shetty18:57

      No

   3. LHLewis Howes18:57

      ... have sex as a monk.

   4. JSJay Shetty18:58

      No, you're a celibate monk, so no-

   5. LHLewis Howes18:59

      So why do you detach from that, then?

   6. JSJay Shetty19:01

      Yeah, good question.

   7. LHLewis Howes19:02

      Why do you escape from that?

   8. JSJay Shetty19:03

      So that's to be able to give yourself all the time, focus, and energy on personal growth and development. So we all know this, right? Anyone who's been, and I've been in multiple relationships before I became a monk. We all know this. When you're in a relationship, things slow down because now you're managing two minds. You're now having to give energy to another person. You have to give time to another person. You lose time, energy, and moments to invest in your own growth.

   9. LHLewis Howes19:29

      Mm-hmm.

   10. JSJay Shetty19:30

       So monks traditionally have lived celibate lives so that they can focus on their own growth so that they're not distracted, they're not falling prey to any, any lust-

   11. LHLewis Howes19:39

       Mm

   12. JSJay Shetty19:40

       ... or engaging in any flirtatious conversations that, again-

   13. LHLewis Howes19:43

       Right

   14. JSJay Shetty19:43

       ... brings down the consciousness-

   15. LHLewis Howes19:45

       Distract the mind, yeah

   16. JSJay Shetty19:45

       ... and distracts the mind. You're learning to train your mind like an athlete. Like so many athletes, kind ... I mean, maybe, maybe you had this experience too, but I remember reading David Beckham's autobiography many years ago, and he was talking about that, how they were trained not to have sex before big games.

   17. LHLewis Howes20:00

       Mm-hmm.

   18. JSJay Shetty20:01

       Right? No alcohol in the weeks leading up to big games.

   19. LHLewis Howes20:04

       Yeah.

   20. JSJay Shetty20:05

       I remember him talking about how when all his friends were out partying, he'd have to get to bed on time.

   21. LHLewis Howes20:09

       Yeah.

   22. JSJay Shetty20:09

       So it's like you see athletes go to very similar training as monks.

   23. LHLewis Howes20:12

       Sure.

   24. JSJay Shetty20:13

       So it's not abnormal. We see it in modern life-

   25. LHLewis Howes20:15

       Mm

   26. JSJay Shetty20:15

       ... where people who have to be peak performance, they also use the same measures.

   27. LHLewis Howes20:20

       Yeah.

   28. JSJay Shetty20:20

       Very similar measures to monk life.

   29. LHLewis Howes20:23

       But doesn't personal growth also come from experiencing life and not detaching from it-

   30. JSJay Shetty20:29

       Yeah
4. 22:55 – 31:05

   Perceived Identities and the Levels of Self-Awareness

   1. LHLewis Howes22:55

      What did you notice about the outside world maybe a year or two years into the flow of your learning-

   2. JSJay Shetty23:01

      Mm

   3. LHLewis Howes23:01

      ... you know, about yourself and about the wisdom and the philosophy, uh, of being a monk? What did you start to notice the most, most common things of when you were just talking to people or just walking down the street and just being aware of what was happening?

   4. JSJay Shetty23:14

      Absolutely. It's, it's, it's actually, I've been quoting the Gita a lot, the Bhagavad Gita, but I'll quote a modern-day, I guess somewhat modern-day philosopher, because I think this encapsulated perfectly. He said that, to, it... This is Cooley, a philosopher, writer. He said, "Today I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am." Right? And I always feel that blows my mind every time I say it. "I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am."

   5. LHLewis Howes23:46

      Mm-hmm.

   6. JSJay Shetty23:46

      So we live in this perception of a perception of ourselves. So we've all seen the movie Inception.

   7. LHLewis Howes23:52

      Mm-hmm.

   8. JSJay Shetty23:52

      Imagine you get lost so far into someone's perception, and that's your perception. So if I think Lewis thinks Jay's good, then I feel good. But if I think Lewis thinks Jay's not good, then I don't feel good. And we live like that today. If I think someone thinks I'm confident, I feel confident. But if someone thinks, if I think someone thinks I'm not confident, then I don't feel confident. And that's what I noticed when I lived as a monk, that people were so far removed from their own understanding of themselves that they were either lost living a life they didn't want to, lost living up to someone else's expectations, or lost becoming someone to impress someone else. And so people were so, their, their real identity is almost buried under six feet of multiple identities they've created. And that's what I started to notice. We have a social media identity, we have a LinkedIn identity, we have a Twitter identity, we have a Facebook identity. Then we have an identity we are to our boss, then we have an identity we are with our Friday night friends, then we have an identity we are to our Sunday people, and we've just created all of these identities. And if you ask people, "Who are you?" we struggle to answer that question. And so as a monk, you're just taught to dig deeper beyond all those identities, and kind of again, bring out yourself rather than- Mm ... define yourself. Mm. So that was what I noticed. I just started to notice that people had a big lack of self-actualization. They were very disconnected from what they wanted, needed, and understood about themselves, and most people's identities were crafted by the reflection in this mirror- Mm-hmm ... of their mom- Okay ... dad, friends, boss, partner, whatever it may be. Right. How do we start to tap into self-realization better? Yeah, so- How do we, how do we learn that about ourselves? So I think it starts even at a physical level. I'll give a basic example at a physical level. Anyone who's a physical fitness or a health coach will know that different bodies need different food, different sleep, different fluids. Mm-hmm. We don't all need the same thing. Me and you with different body types can't do the same workout. Right. Right? We can't. I would die- [laughs] ... if I tried to lift what you lift. It just wouldn't work. And I would die trying to sleep on the floor. Right. Exactly. [laughs] No, but exactly, right? And that, and that's the point- Okay ... though our bodies have different tolerances- Yeah, yeah ... in different things. That's self-awareness at the physical level already. Mm-hmm. So now what I realize by living as a monk is I can't survive off of four hours sleep a night. Like, I re- I realized that about my body. When you were a monk? Uh, kind of when I was leaving- Mm ... and, and when I kind of came back to my real bed, and I was just like, "Oh, I like this." [laughs] "This is, you know, this is good." Yeah. Right? And, and I kind of came to that realization that I'm not able to function as effectively as I want to. I could when I was a monk because we meditated so much. That just got you to a higher vibration of like- Exactly, so now I meditate two hours a day, then I used to meditate four, six hours a day, plus the collective, plus the environment. All of that helps. So now that I don't have that, I can't. But if I have that, I can. Coulda just slept those four hours and been better. [laughs] Yeah, exactly. So, so the point I'm making is that's physical self-awareness. Mm-hmm. We know our limits. We know what we can do, know, we know what we can't do, we know what are challenges. On a mental level, what's self-awareness? Knowing what type of people I like to be with, knowing who helps me grow and who drains me. Yeah. That's mental self-awareness. So self-awareness at every level, and then we go into the spiritual consciousness level. That's disconnecting from all these identities and understanding the identity that we are wired for generosity, and we're wired to serve, and only in service can we be happy. And that's us on a consciousness level. That's the identity of consciousness. Like water is wet, the sun is heating and light, consciousness is service. Mm. Like, that's how it fits. Why are we wired for that? We're wired for that because all of us, as consciousness, have been designed, and we see it since, like even kids. Like, I was, I was giving this example of this beautiful, and you may have seen it. Mm. It is, it went viral on Instagram. It was this little girl, probably about two years old, watching a cartoon, and she takes a handkerchief, and the cartoon character's crying. And she goes up to the television- No ... and she tries to wipe it off, right? And it's, uh, it's, it's incredible because this girl's two years old, and she thinks this cartoon character animal is crying, and she gets a real tissue and tries to wipe it on the TV. Obviously, it doesn't work. And there's another, another one that I saw with this statue of this rabbit, and there's like four rabbits, and one rabbit's like falling off the end. Uh-huh. And this little boy is trying to push the rabbit up. But it's a stone rabbit, it's just a statue, but he's trying to help it back up. So we see, and there was a great article in Wired about this, about how we're wired for generosity. Our, our brain is happier in service. Why are we that way? I'm not fully sure, but what I do know from my experience as a monk, or what I can verify, is that we've been created to connect and serve, right? We've been created to connect and serve. But you don't know why. My, I, I can give you my opinion and the Vedic opinion. I, I can't tell you why for everyone. Right, right. The, the reason is the, the, the main deep, or the, the main Vedic reason is, is that we've been created that way because that's our nature, and that's what makes us most happy because this whole world is almost a school, an education system to make us realize that one truth, to make us realize that one truth. And we see that when we're serving, when we're doing that, we feel genuine happiness. But when we're trying to gain, and greed, and power, and strength, we, we even feel empty as it slips through our fingers. So the why is because that allows us to connect to our deepest self, the happiest self that we have, and modern studies have shown that. So Michael Norton at Cambridge University, he did a study where they gave people 5, 10, $20 to spend on themselves. Mm. Have you seen this? Go ahead, though. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then they spent 5, 10, $20 on others. So people spent 5, 10, $20 on makeup, Starbucks, and normal stuff. [laughs] Right, right, right. Right? That was the, that was the three common, three, makeup, Starbucks, and then something else. I can't remember. And then people who spent on other people, they also bought other, the same stuff. Starbucks was still in there. Yeah. [laughs] And they're buying all this stuff. What they found is that when people self-assess their happiness before and after without knowing about this AB test, people who spent the money on themselves didn't feel any happier or any less happier. But the people that spent on others felt 10 to 20% happier. Mm. And then he went and tried this out, this was a college in, in the United States. They then went and did it in Africa, they did it all over the world, and the stats and the pattern showed the same. Wow. That we're wired for generosity. We're wired to serve, to make us realize that that's our real nature. That's our greatest self-awareness.

   9. LHLewis Howes30:54

      Wow.

   10. JSJay Shetty30:54

       Right? So that's, that's the Vedic opinion

   11. LHLewis Howes30:56

       Yeah

   12. JSJay Shetty30:56

       And that's why I was ... That's why you had to probe me to go to why it is. I know why it is, but-

   13. LHLewis Howes31:00

       Yeah, yeah

   14. JSJay Shetty31:00

       ... but, but I, yeah, I wanna give people an answer that I feel they can connect with.

   15. LHLewis Howes31:05

       Mm.

5. 31:05 – 35:15

   The First Lesson at Monk School: Breath and Going to the Root

   1. JSJay Shetty31:05

      So, yeah.

   2. LHLewis Howes31:06

      So what was one of the greatest lessons you learned in those three years then?

   3. JSJay Shetty31:10

      Do you want me to share the one I shared before or share another one? I've got an-

   4. LHLewis Howes31:13

      Share another one.

   5. JSJay Shetty31:14

      Yeah, okay. I'll share another one.

   6. LHLewis Howes31:15

      Yeah.

   7. JSJay Shetty31:15

      This is, this is probably my f- one of my favorite things, and it's because this was what I learned on my first day of monk school. So if you think about what you learned on the first day of school-

   8. LHLewis Howes31:26

      Yeah [laughs]

   9. JSJay Shetty31:26

      ... when you were three or four, if you remember what it was. Uh, alphabet-

   10. LHLewis Howes31:30

       ABCDs [laughs]

   11. JSJay Shetty31:30

       Yeah, exactly. Alphabet-

   12. LHLewis Howes31:32

       Yeah

   13. JSJay Shetty31:32

       ... the numbers, right? One to, one to 10, ABC.

   14. LHLewis Howes31:35

       Mm-hmm.

   15. JSJay Shetty31:35

       Right? The 26 letters of the alphabet. So I remember my first day of monk school, I've just shaved my head, I'm now wearing robes. I still look like I'm from London, like I can't get away with it. I'm walking around and I notice this monk who's teaching. This monk's 10 years old, and he's teaching a group of five-year-old monks, right? And I see him teaching. He looks like an adult, like-

   16. LHLewis Howes31:54

       Wow

   17. JSJay Shetty31:54

       ... you know, his ability to, like, teach these five-year-olds and conduct himself, and he's got this great aura about him. And so I'm kind of eavesdropping on his class. I can't obviously go and sit with a bunch of five-year-olds, even though I really want to because I'm like, I feel like a five-year-old next to that 10-year-old. And I, I went up to him and I said, "What are you doing?" And he said, "Oh, well, we just taught their first class ever." And I said, "Oh, cool." And he said, "Well, what did you learn in your first class at school?" And I said, "Oh, well, I learned the alphabet and numbers." And I said, "Well, what did they learn?" He said, "Do you wanna know what they learned on their first day of school?" I said, "Yeah, of course." He said, "The first thing that we teach them, the first thing you learn at monk school is learning how to breathe." I said, "Why?" He said, "Because we're taught that the only thing that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath. All your friends, family, the country you live in, all of that's gonna change."

   18. LHLewis Howes32:51

       Mm-hmm.

   19. JSJay Shetty32:51

       "The only thing that doesn't change, that stays with you from the moment you're born to the moment you die is your breath." And he said, "Notice when you get stressed, what changes? Your breath."

   20. LHLewis Howes33:02

       Right.

   21. JSJay Shetty33:03

       "When you get angry, what changes? Your breath. When you're sad, what changes? Your breath. When you're happy, what changes? Your breath. Every emotion is experienced with a change of the breath." So he said, "When you learn how to navigate and manage your breath, you can actually navigate any situation in life."

   22. LHLewis Howes33:22

       Mm.

   23. JSJay Shetty33:22

       And I was just blown away. I was just like, wow. And then I remember researching it and noticing how athletes were taught how to breathe, musicians, singers, especially those who play wind instruments who have to reach really high notes, they're all trained how to breathe because they have to use their breath in challenging, stressful, pressure-filled-

   24. LHLewis Howes33:41

       Right

   25. JSJay Shetty33:41

       ... situations.

   26. LHLewis Howes33:42

       Right.

   27. JSJay Shetty33:42

       But I was like, so are all of us.

   28. LHLewis Howes33:44

       Mm-hmm.

   29. JSJay Shetty33:45

       You've gotta go on stage in front of 10,000 people. You've gotta go to a concert. You just lost a deal or a contract. Our breath changes in all those scenarios, yet we don't know how to use our breath to change our life.

   30. LHLewis Howes33:57

       Right.
6. 35:15 – 38:32

   Weeds in the Heart and Intention of Service

   1. LHLewis Howes35:15

      Are there any weeds in your life right now?

   2. JSJay Shetty35:17

      Loads. Uh-

   3. LHLewis Howes35:18

      In your heart or in your mind?

   4. JSJay Shetty35:20

      Always. My, my daily practice is to refine my intention. The, the biggest weeds that we all get is in our intention. So when I say intention, I mean my current intention is to use everything I've been given, everything that I have, in the service of others. So I wanna use the following that I have to help people. I wanna use the money that I have to help people. I wanna use the network that I have to help people.

   5. LHLewis Howes35:46

      Mm-hmm.

   6. JSJay Shetty35:47

      But every day, that intention, which is a beautiful little plant that's growing, gets weeds around it. "No, do it for the money."

   7. LHLewis Howes35:54

      [laughs]

   8. JSJay Shetty35:55

      I hear that voice, right?

   9. LHLewis Howes35:56

      Uh-huh. "Do it for the fame."

   10. JSJay Shetty35:57

       Just do it for the fame.

   11. LHLewis Howes35:58

       [laughs]

   12. JSJay Shetty35:58

       Do it for the followers. Do it for this. All these weeds are, like, going around my real intention-

   13. LHLewis Howes36:03

       Oh

   14. JSJay Shetty36:03

       ... every day. Every day. That's a weed. A weed is the intention that you don't want. And the problem is sometimes you've let it grow so much, the weed looks like the plant, right?

   15. LHLewis Howes36:14

       Right.

   16. JSJay Shetty36:14

       The weed looks like your intention, and you start believing it's the same thing.

   17. LHLewis Howes36:19

       Mm-hmm.

   18. JSJay Shetty36:20

       So for me, my daily practice is going back in, reflecting on what is my voice right now in my head, what am I saying to myself? And I'm hearing, "Make that deal, it makes a lot of money. Do this, do that, do this, more followers, fame," all that stuff, and I'm cutting it down. I'm cutting that weed every day. And you gotta do it every day because the more you're surrounded by that energy-

   19. LHLewis Howes36:40

       Right

   20. JSJay Shetty36:40

       ... the more it's gonna keep creeping in like a creeper weed, right? Like, I'm just using the plant analogy because it-

   21. LHLewis Howes36:46

       [laughs]

   22. JSJay Shetty36:46

       I don't garden at all, by the way.

   23. LHLewis Howes36:47

       Right, right, right.

   24. JSJay Shetty36:47

       Like I have no idea, but ...

   25. LHLewis Howes36:49

       What's the intention you set every morning for yourself, then? If it's going back to the- The core of what you really wanna create, what is that thing you wanna create the most? Service?

   26. JSJay Shetty36:58

       Yeah, service. To, to help people find their purpose, whatever that may be, and help them help other people find their purpose. I think Mark Zuckerberg said it brilliantly at Harvard. He was saying that finding your purpose isn't enough. You have to help other people find theirs, and I know you're passionate about this.

   27. LHLewis Howes37:14

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JSJay Shetty37:14

       Whatever that definition is, but it has to lead everyone. So if I'm ... Whether I meet a celebrity and entrepreneur, or whether I meet somebody starting out, I'm always asking them the question, how can you use what you have to make a difference in the life of other people?

   29. LHLewis Howes37:27

       Yeah.

   30. JSJay Shetty37:27

       Because if you start there, everything else will work out. But if you're starting from the point of, what am I gonna get, then you're always gonna feel disconnected.
7. 38:32 – 43:36

   Being Told to Leave the Ashram and Rebuilding at Home

   1. JSJay Shetty38:32

      So.

   2. LHLewis Howes38:32

      So you were in there for a few years-

   3. JSJay Shetty38:33

      Three years

   4. LHLewis Howes38:33

      ... and you, you told yourself you were gonna do this for the rest of your life.

   5. JSJay Shetty38:36

      I was h- I really wanted to. Genuinely, genuinely-

   6. LHLewis Howes38:39

      [laughs]

   7. JSJay Shetty38:39

      ... from the bottom of my heart wanted to.

   8. LHLewis Howes38:40

      And then all of a sudden, one of your mentors or the teacher there-

   9. JSJay Shetty38:43

      Yes

   10. LHLewis Howes38:43

       ... at this ashram, right?

   11. JSJay Shetty38:45

       Yes.

   12. LHLewis Howes38:45

       He said-

   13. JSJay Shetty38:45

       Yes

   14. LHLewis Howes38:46

       ... "Time for you to go."

   15. JSJay Shetty38:47

       Yes.

   16. LHLewis Howes38:47

       So what was that conversation like when he said, "You're no longer welcome"?

   17. JSJay Shetty38:51

       Yeah.

   18. LHLewis Howes38:52

       And how did you start to plan for your exit?

   19. JSJay Shetty38:56

       Yeah, definitely. So I've been there for three years. I've literally traded everything, been celibate for the first time in my life for that long. It's, you know, for that long ever. Like, it's huge.

   20. LHLewis Howes39:05

       Yeah.

   21. JSJay Shetty39:05

       And then he sits down with me and he says, "I think you'll be able to share what you've learned if you leave. You'll be able to share this with everyone if you leave." And I, and I felt like it was his nice way of saying, "You're not ready to be a monk." [laughs] Like, "Get out of here."

   22. LHLewis Howes39:18

       Right.

   23. JSJay Shetty39:19

       That's how it felt. It felt like I'd failed, and it felt like he was, like, breaking up with me. Like, I, I equate it to a divorce. It was almost like him saying to me, "It's not you, it's me. You know, it's not working out." Like, it kind of felt like that. And the-

   24. LHLewis Howes39:32

       Is this the same monk that you, who came to speak at college?

   25. JSJay Shetty39:34

       No, no, it was his teacher.

   26. LHLewis Howes39:35

       Oh, wow.

   27. JSJay Shetty39:36

       So his teacher, so like a, like a-

   28. LHLewis Howes39:38

       Even more so. Yeah

   29. JSJay Shetty39:38

       ... yeah, even more so, right? Like, and, and i- it kind of felt... It wasn't disingenuous on his part. It was just, it was a reality check. It was a reality check that this wasn't gonna last forever, and it was, it was one of the most toughest, humiliating, ego-bashing, crushing things that happened. Because here I was thinking I'm gonna be a monk and I'm gonna do this and I've got all these plans, and then all of a sudden, three years on, all your plans have failed.

   30. LHLewis Howes40:05

       Mm.
8. 43:36 – 53:58

   From Accenture to YouTube and Going Viral

   1. LHLewis Howes43:36

      So when did you realize you wanted to start creating videos? Um-

   2. JSJay Shetty43:38

      That was much later. So I ended up doing two things when I left. One thing was all my friends who work now at big companies, they were stressed out and hating their lives, and so they started to invite me to speak at their companies, like Google and Starbucks, and they worked-

   3. LHLewis Howes43:51

      Tell us what you learned from being a monk

   4. JSJay Shetty43:52

      ... Yeah, that's it. They were all working at these big brands-

   5. LHLewis Howes43:54

      [laughs]

   6. JSJay Shetty43:54

      ... and they were like, "Jay, come teach us what you've learned. Like, we're stressed out. Maybe you learned how to meditate."

   7. LHLewis Howes43:58

      [laughs]

   8. JSJay Shetty43:58

      And I was like, "Oh, yeah." And this is like, this is five years ago when, four to five years ago, when mindfulness and all this stuff was just on the rise. It was j- it wasn't huge yet. Like now everyone talks about it. So I kind of had come back just at that moment-

   9. LHLewis Howes44:12

      Mm

   10. JSJay Shetty44:12

       ... when-

   11. LHLewis Howes44:13

       Good timing.

   12. JSJay Shetty44:13

       Yeah, good timing, but without any strategy whatsoever. And I actually remember, this is... I know you've got Andy Puddicombe on your wall.

   13. LHLewis Howes44:20

       Mm-hmm.

   14. JSJay Shetty44:20

       I remember finding about, finding out about Andy Puddicombe when I was still a monk and, and I always talk about this. I always say-

   15. LHLewis Howes44:25

       He was there for 10 years or something, 12 years or something

   16. JSJay Shetty44:26

       ... Yeah, he was a monk for 10 years, and I think when he left and started up Headspace, I remember learning about Headspace when I was a monk.

   17. LHLewis Howes44:33

       Wow.

   18. JSJay Shetty44:33

       I remember hearing about it, and it was very early days then. Like it-

   19. LHLewis Howes44:36

       A monk made it.

   20. JSJay Shetty44:37

       Yeah. [laughs]

   21. LHLewis Howes44:38

       So it must be-

   22. JSJay Shetty44:38

       And-

   23. LHLewis Howes44:38

       ... it's possible

   24. JSJay Shetty44:39

       ... yeah. And now I always look back and go, that was my big ... I wish I could have invested then, you know? [laughs]

   25. LHLewis Howes44:43

       Yeah, right.

   26. JSJay Shetty44:43

       That's like my thing. Like, I was like, I had no money to invest, but it... anyway, it's a brilliant app. But the point being that I kind of came back at that moment in our, in our world where mindfulness, wellbeing, all these things were coming into the corporate workplace.

   27. LHLewis Howes44:57

       Mm-hmm.

   28. JSJay Shetty44:57

       And so all my friends were inviting me. So I started speaking at all these venues, and I'd been speaking while I was a monk. I'd been speaking since I was 16, so that was a very natural part. Teaching was very natural, and I loved it, and people were getting so much out of it. And I was like, wow, like, my monk experience is really there to help so many people, and because I'm still living it, I can still give it, and all of a sudden, all of this environment had a meaning and purpose again.

   29. LHLewis Howes45:20

       Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

   30. JSJay Shetty45:21

       And I started to see what my teacher had said, that you're, you're there to share this with people.
9. 53:58 – 1:00:54

   Why Brands Need Video and Transformational Storytelling

   1. LHLewis Howes53:58

      What are people not understanding about video?

   2. JSJay Shetty54:02

      Okay.

   3. LHLewis Howes54:02

      What are they not understanding about how powerful it is for their business, their brand, and ultimately their message to impact people?

   4. JSJay Shetty54:10

      You mean people who are already doing it, or people who don't get why video's important? Which side?

   5. LHLewis Howes54:14

      Both.

   6. JSJay Shetty54:15

      Both.

   7. LHLewis Howes54:15

      You know, what are they not-

   8. JSJay Shetty54:16

      So-

   9. LHLewis Howes54:16

      What are they not getting?

   10. JSJay Shetty54:17

       Yeah.

   11. LHLewis Howes54:17

       People that are doing it-

   12. JSJay Shetty54:18

       Yeah

   13. LHLewis Howes54:18

       ... maybe it's not working well for them.

   14. JSJay Shetty54:19

       Yeah, yeah.

   15. LHLewis Howes54:19

       Or people that aren't doing it-

   16. JSJay Shetty54:21

       Yeah. Let's start with the people-

   17. LHLewis Howes54:22

       What are they-

   18. JSJay Shetty54:22

       ... that aren't doing it and then move to ... So the people that aren't doing it, it's always that same question: What's the ROI on social media, right? What's the ROI? Now, the funny thing is your business, work and service, my business, work and service, literally lives off of social media.

   19. LHLewis Howes54:36

       Mm-hmm.

   20. JSJay Shetty54:36

       So there's obviously an ROI, but the problem is we live in a world where we want everything to be measurable, and there's a beautiful Einstein quote that says, "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that you can count counts."

   21. LHLewis Howes54:50

       Mm-hmm.

   22. JSJay Shetty54:50

       Right? And we live in this world where everything needs to be measured. Like, "Oh, that video has a million views. How many sales did you get through that?" But it's like life doesn't work like that. There's a load of adverts and billboards on the street that the biggest brands pay for that don't convert into direct sales. Do you think that Coca-Cola looks at the billboard out there and goes, "How many people saw that advert today, and how many people bought a Coca-Cola because of that advert?" They don't have that number.

   23. LHLewis Howes55:13

       Mm.

   24. JSJay Shetty55:13

       It doesn't exist. And they're one of the biggest brands in the world, but they still do it. So social media video's just a new billboard.

   25. LHLewis Howes55:20

       Mm-hmm.

   26. JSJay Shetty55:20

       And the biggest brands know that the more you see it... Like, I mean [laughs] this is funny. I saw this today. I saw a big billboard outside of my hotel that has all the Jenners and the Kardashians wearing their Calvins. Have you seen it?

   27. LHLewis Howes55:32

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   28. JSJay Shetty55:32

       Right, I saw it straight away this morning, then I saw it on Instagram, and then I saw it everywhere. So already I've seen it in three places, now I don't need women's Calvin underwear.

   29. LHLewis Howes55:40

       Yeah, yeah, yeah.

   30. JSJay Shetty55:41

       But the point is that I've seen it in a million places. So anyone who's not using video hasn't understood that more people are gonna see video than anything else. And not just that, video is so much better than a billboard.
10. 1:00:54 – 1:04:48

    What Makes Content Watchable and Shareable

    1. LHLewis Howes1:00:54

       What's the thing that makes someone wanna share it and leave a comment?

    2. JSJay Shetty1:00:56

       Absolutely.

    3. LHLewis Howes1:00:57

       What is, what is that main thing that someone watches, keeps them watching the whole time, and then says, "I have to share this"?

    4. JSJay Shetty1:01:02

       So first thing is people need to see themselves in the situation. They need to be able to see themselves in the story you're creating. If they can't identify with a character, they'll switch off. Why is it that Marvel and DC have so many different characters? 'Cause we can all-

    5. LHLewis Howes1:01:21

       Right

    6. JSJay Shetty1:01:21

       ... connect with one of their origin stories.

    7. LHLewis Howes1:01:23

       Mm-hmm.

    8. JSJay Shetty1:01:23

       Whichever one it is. Now, I know a lot of people wanna be Wolverine, but-

    9. LHLewis Howes1:01:25

       Mm-hmm

    10. JSJay Shetty1:01:26

        ... the point is there's multiple, right? Everyone has a favorite X-Men. Everyone has a favorite, uh, uh, what do you call, Justice League-

    11. LHLewis Howes1:01:34

        Mm

    12. JSJay Shetty1:01:34

        ... character because we all identify with a different origin story. So the more deeply you understand your origin story of your customer or client or audience, the more deeply you can create a story around it.

    13. LHLewis Howes1:01:47

        Mm.

    14. JSJay Shetty1:01:48

        So people have to be able to see themselves in it. That's the first thing to keep them watching, to even get them to watch in the first place. The way you keep them watching is to create a scenario where there will be a surprise or a reveal at the end. Who doesn't want to know how a magic trick is done?

    15. LHLewis Howes1:02:02

        Right.

    16. JSJay Shetty1:02:03

        Who doesn't wanna know how something finishes? There's a beautiful movie called The Prestige by Christopher Nolan. I don't know if you've seen it. It's my favorite movie of all time.

    17. LHLewis Howes1:02:11

        [clears throat]

    18. JSJay Shetty1:02:11

        Uh, Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, directed and produced by Christopher Nolan, and he talks about how every magic trick has three, uh, elements.

    19. LHLewis Howes1:02:20

        Yeah.

    20. JSJay Shetty1:02:21

        And the third element is called the prestige, which is the reveal-

    21. LHLewis Howes1:02:24

        Yes

    22. JSJay Shetty1:02:25

        ... where you're surprised, where you see what you didn't think was gonna happen. Video has to have that. Video has to have a message, a link, a, a surprise at the end that delights people, that has taken them on a surprising journey-

    23. LHLewis Howes1:02:39

        Mm

    24. JSJay Shetty1:02:39

        ... or a different turn. And then finally, what a video needs for someone to share it after that is you need to help them experience that emotion at the deepest level, where they feel compelled to want to tag their friend.

    25. LHLewis Howes1:02:52

        Yeah.

    26. JSJay Shetty1:02:52

        Now, you can do this through language. You can do it through crafting. So title of a video, these are the, these are the more logistical aspects, but you, again, you can have rubbish content and put a good title, it won't work. But titling, the caption, all of this stuff is gonna impact the audience.

    27. LHLewis Howes1:03:07

        Mm. Right.

    28. JSJay Shetty1:03:08

        So things that help people watch and share immediately. So I have a video called Before You Break Up, Watch This. Right? We've released it just before summer because a lot of people break up just before summer.

    29. LHLewis Howes1:03:21

        Mm-hmm.

    30. JSJay Shetty1:03:22

        I wanted to try and see if w- people didn't have to break up before summer because it hurts a lot of people. So I made a video called Before You Break Up, Watch This, but the watch this makes you wanna watch it now. It makes it instant. It makes it current. It makes it relevant. And the before you break up is pulling in on an emotion-
11. 1:04:48 – 1:08:02

    Looking Back at Accenture and What He's Proud Of: Daily Meditation

    1. LHLewis Howes1:04:48

       If you were starting over again, you didn't, you just came out of the monk world-

    2. JSJay Shetty1:04:51

       Yeah

    3. LHLewis Howes1:04:52

       ... would you go right to video again?

    4. JSJay Shetty1:04:54

       Oh, no. You know what? My experience at Accenture was hugely helpful. It also gave me time to kind of-

    5. LHLewis Howes1:05:00

       Transition, yeah

    6. JSJay Shetty1:05:01

       ... observe and transition. I think if I went straight to video, I'm not sure because first of all, at Accenture, I learned social media. Second of all, at Accenture, I l- understood corporate culture properly again, which was very useful. Thirdly, I made a bunch of great friends-

    7. LHLewis Howes1:05:16

       Mm

    8. JSJay Shetty1:05:16

       ... that I'm, I'm in contact now that I love.

    9. LHLewis Howes1:05:18

       Yeah.

    10. JSJay Shetty1:05:18

        And I have a great relationship with the company, and they're one of my biggest clients.

    11. LHLewis Howes1:05:21

        Oh, that's good.

    12. JSJay Shetty1:05:22

        So it's like, uh, there's nothing that could have been done differently. But did I know that then? No. So you can't connect the dots moving forward. You only can when you look back-

    13. LHLewis Howes1:05:30

        Yeah

    14. JSJay Shetty1:05:30

        ... like Steve Jobs.

    15. LHLewis Howes1:05:32

        Right.

    16. JSJay Shetty1:05:32

        And I feel like that with Accenture, that I wouldn't change it because the amount I gained there in those, uh, in the two to three years that I was there, two years that I was there-

    17. LHLewis Howes1:05:41

        Mm-hmm

    18. JSJay Shetty1:05:41

        ... is, is priceless, you know, on so many levels.

    19. LHLewis Howes1:05:44

        Wow.

    20. JSJay Shetty1:05:45

        Uh, yeah.

    21. LHLewis Howes1:05:45

        That's cool, man.

    22. JSJay Shetty1:05:46

        Yeah.

    23. LHLewis Howes1:05:47

        What's something that most people don't know about you that you're really proud of?

    24. JSJay Shetty1:05:50

        Oof. What am I... What people don't know about me that I'm really proud of? Wow. I don't think a lot of people know that I meditate two hours a day, which I'm not proud of in the, oh, look how good I am sense, but I'm proud that I've been able to maintain that since leaving-

    25. LHLewis Howes1:06:04

        It's tough.

    26. JSJay Shetty1:06:05

        Yeah.

    27. LHLewis Howes1:06:05

        It's really tough.

    28. JSJay Shetty1:06:06

        Yeah.

    29. LHLewis Howes1:06:06

        I went to India a year, a little over a year ago-

    30. JSJay Shetty1:06:07

        Yeah. Yeah, I wanna hear about that
12. 1:08:02 – 1:15:20

    His Wife, Daily Shortcomings and Past Shame

    1. LHLewis Howes1:08:02

       And your wife supports the two hours in the morning and the lifestyle?

    2. JSJay Shetty1:08:05

       Yeah. So my wife, I actually met her while teaching her meditation-

    3. LHLewis Howes1:08:08

       Wow

    4. JSJay Shetty1:08:08

       ... and philosophy. So when I left being a monk, she used to come to my classes. I'd met her before that. I'd actually met her before I became a monk.

    5. LHLewis Howes1:08:15

       Mm.

    6. JSJay Shetty1:08:15

       But we didn't ... We weren't friends. We didn't really know each other. I knew of her and I'd seen her around. But then after I left, she used to come to my classes, and I used to teach meditation and philosophy. And, and I have to be honest and say she's a better meditator than me now.

    7. LHLewis Howes1:08:28

       No way.

    8. JSJay Shetty1:08:29

       Yeah, she's way better than me.

    9. LHLewis Howes1:08:30

       How is that possible?

    10. JSJay Shetty1:08:31

        Because she's so genuinely pure. Like, she's a sincere soul who's more, more monk than I'll ever be.

    11. LHLewis Howes1:08:40

        Really?

    12. JSJay Shetty1:08:40

        You know? Yeah. She just has it naturally, inherently within her. So she's now wakes up earlier than I do.

    13. LHLewis Howes1:08:45

        No way.

    14. JSJay Shetty1:08:46

        Yeah, she wakes up earlier than I do. She meditates better than I do. She reminds me to meditate. She's the one who's, like, always questioning my intention and purity level, not in a negative way, in a good way.

    15. LHLewis Howes1:08:56

        Right, right.

    16. JSJay Shetty1:08:56

        Where I feel accountable to someone who's, who's really grounding me and make me value what I have-

    17. LHLewis Howes1:09:02

        Mm

    18. JSJay Shetty1:09:02

        ... and what I've learned. And, and I think ... And it's not just 'cause she's newer to it, because now she's been meditating for around four, five years, so she's been doing it for a long amount of time, for two hours a day as well. So the great thing is I wake up and I don't feel good at all because she's just finished two hours and I'm like, "Oh, yeah. I gotta start." [laughs]

    19. LHLewis Howes1:09:20

        Wow.

    20. JSJay Shetty1:09:20

        So yeah, she supports it because she's better than me at it. And I, I think that's ... I, I take ... And this is gonna be my m- my ego moment. I'm gonna have it where, where you feel like I'm a good teacher, right? If the student- [laughs]

    21. LHLewis Howes1:09:32

        [laughs] Yeah, right. Exactly.

    22. JSJay Shetty1:09:33

        If the student's better than the teacher-

    23. LHLewis Howes1:09:34

        That's how it works

    24. JSJay Shetty1:09:34

        ... then I, then I must be pretty good.

    25. LHLewis Howes1:09:35

        [laughs]

    26. JSJay Shetty1:09:36

        So ... But no, she's ... Yeah, she's a better meditator than me.

    27. LHLewis Howes1:09:38

        Is there anything you do during, during your day that you're not proud of?

    28. JSJay Shetty1:09:42

        Yeah, loads. I, I'm-

    29. LHLewis Howes1:09:44

        Besides a couple of moments or ... of, oh, am I chasing this for the money for, like, a moment or something, you know?

    30. JSJay Shetty1:09:49

        No. I, I ... You know, I have my moments where I'll snap at my wife or I'll, I'll be ... You know, I, I won't communicate with her in the most compassionate, beautiful way that I want to, and I'm busy and I'm carrying all this stuff, and that, that, that release happens and, and I never feel proud of that. I always end up feeling bad about it because I'm like, "Here's this beautiful, amazing person-
13. 1:15:20 – 1:16:42

    Humility, Ego and the Two Things to Remember and Forget

    1. JSJay Shetty1:15:20

       Ryan Holiday I know was on your show. Ego is the Enemy.

    2. LHLewis Howes1:15:22

       Mm-hmm.

    3. JSJay Shetty1:15:22

       It's a beautiful book. I, I, I think it's a great book, and that's what I mean, that ego becomes the enemy even when you start living the most pure, well-intentioned life. Like, that's the last-

    4. LHLewis Howes1:15:33

       Yeah, yeah

    5. JSJay Shetty1:15:33

       ... you know, that's the last step of ego, and the ego's just, like, ready.

    6. LHLewis Howes1:15:36

       Mm-hmm.

    7. JSJay Shetty1:15:37

       So, so for me, that self-reflection, that grounding, that meditation, remembering, you know, the ... I think it's, there's always two things t- as a monk we were taught two things to remember, two things to forget. Always remember the bad you've done to others and remember the good others have done for you, right? Always remember the bad you've done to others and the good others have done to you. When you remember the bad you've done to others, you'll always feel grounded. You'll always feel humbled. You'll never let your ego get over you. And when you remember the good others have done for you, you feel grateful.

    8. LHLewis Howes1:16:12

       Right.

    9. JSJay Shetty1:16:13

       Two things to forget: forget the good you've done for others. If you get fixated and fascinated by that too long, your ego's gonna grow. And forget the bad others have done to you. That doesn't mean you have to be their best friend again-

    10. LHLewis Howes1:16:24

        Right

    11. JSJay Shetty1:16:25

        ... but to forget because otherwise that's just gonna drain your energy forever.

    12. LHLewis Howes1:16:28

        Mm.

    13. JSJay Shetty1:16:28

        And those two points have, have really stayed with me because they both stop you from ego, and they increase gratitude.

    14. LHLewis Howes1:16:35

        Yeah.

    15. JSJay Shetty1:16:36

        And they keep you humble and grounded, and so I aspire for that.

    16. LHLewis Howes1:16:39

        That's powerful, yeah.

    17. JSJay Shetty1:16:40

        Yeah.

    18. LHLewis Howes1:16:41

        Um,

14. 1:16:42 – 1:25:16

    Three Truths, Where to Find Jay and His Definition of Greatness

    1. LHLewis Howes1:16:42

       final few questions for you.

    2. JSJay Shetty1:16:43

       Yeah, go for it. Yeah, I'm loving this. Yeah.

    3. LHLewis Howes1:16:44

       This one's, this one's called the three truths.

    4. JSJay Shetty1:16:46

       Okay.

    5. LHLewis Howes1:16:47

       Uh, from all the things you've learned in your life-

    6. JSJay Shetty1:16:49

       Yeah

    7. LHLewis Howes1:16:49

       ... from monk life to stealing cars to everything else-

    8. JSJay Shetty1:16:52

       Yeah, yeah, yeah

    9. LHLewis Howes1:16:52

       ... and breaking hearts be- before you were a monk, all those things-

    10. JSJay Shetty1:16:55

        Yeah

    11. LHLewis Howes1:16:55

        ... to what you've learned now-

    12. JSJay Shetty1:16:57

        Yeah

    13. LHLewis Howes1:16:57

        ... uh, if this was the last day for you-

    14. JSJay Shetty1:16:59

        Mm

    15. LHLewis Howes1:17:00

        ... many years from now, you've created every video you want, you've told every story, shared every parable-

    16. JSJay Shetty1:17:05

        [laughs]

    17. LHLewis Howes1:17:05

        ... you've shared every lesson, you've written all the books you wanna do, anything you wanna do, you've done.

    18. JSJay Shetty1:17:09

        Yeah.

    19. LHLewis Howes1:17:09

        Those 13 things that you want, it happened.

    20. JSJay Shetty1:17:11

        Yeah. Right.

    21. LHLewis Howes1:17:12

        But for whatever reason, they're all erased. Everything is gone from the internet, the world, print. It's all gone.

    22. JSJay Shetty1:17:17

        Mm.

    23. LHLewis Howes1:17:18

        Your words of wisdom.

    24. JSJay Shetty1:17:19

        Okay.

    25. LHLewis Howes1:17:20

        Uh, but you had a piece of paper-

    26. JSJay Shetty1:17:21

        That's nice question

    27. LHLewis Howes1:17:21

        ... piece of paper and a pen.

    28. JSJay Shetty1:17:22

        Yeah.

    29. LHLewis Howes1:17:23

        And this would last for 5,000 years.

    30. JSJay Shetty1:17:24

        [laughs]

Episode duration: 1:25:26