The Mel Robbins Podcast

2 Ways to Take Your Power Back When You Feel Insecure | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — How do you find your power when life knocks you down? What do you do when you are in the middle of an emotional tsunami? How do you respond when the universe is testing you? This is the ultimate episode about #resilience, #confidence, #relationships, and taking your #power back. Yes, you can take control with simple tools whenever you feel that insecurity spiral kick in. You can pick yourself up, shake off the sh*t, and you can make it a win for you. In this episode, I take you into my life as my 22-year-old daughter gets news that sent her spiraling: her ex was now interested in one of her friends. This episode unfolds live, over the phone, in real-time, and it is about way more than dealing with #heartbreak. This is for everyone, including you. This is about how you can make those moments of #insecurity a win. It’s about finding your confidence when #selfdoubt comes in. It’s about getting your power back. And this is also about how you can make better decisions. How to align your actions and reactions with what you want out of life, rather than letting your emotions hijack you. This is powerful stuff. During this deeply relatable conversation, you’ll laugh, nod along, and probably think of a dozen friends who need to hear this too. My daughter and I unpack the situation live, and you’ll hear Kendall process her feelings, rise above the noise, tap into her power, and start coaching herself forward from a place of confidence and clarity. Honestly, as her mother, I’m incredibly proud of what she shares in this episode. I want you to listen because I want you to feel empowered too. In one hour, you will learn how to turn hurt feelings into a WIN for you. You’ll hear the best advice I’ve ever received when life knocked me down, and how you can use it to make your life and your attitude 10X better. You’ll understand how to break old patterns of self-sabotage and kick them to the curb for good. Holy sh*t…I almost forgot! There is swearing in this episode! If you have any kids around, put those headphones on! And seriously: for anyone in your life struggling with insecurity, do them a favor and remind them of who they are. Send them this episode so they can take their power back. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: - My favorite mindset trick: The power of the pause - The secret gifts of an abundant mindset - How to align with your inner self - The best advice I have ever received… and how you can use it too - How to find the hidden purpose in every life challenge - Make better choices with this tool: The Crossroad - The one way to move toward your higher self - Why painful experiences happen right before breakthroughs - How to make more confident decisions - How to stop playing small and grab your BIG dreams — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostChristopher RobbinsguestKendall RobbinsguestDr. SchnebergerguestGuest (caller)guest

Oct 7, 20221h 1mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Mel Robbins Shares Two-Step Playbook For Reclaiming Power From Insecurity

Mel Robbins uses her 21-year-old daughter Kendall’s real-time dating and friendship drama as a live case study in handling insecurity and emotional triggers. Kendall discovers that a guy she used to hook up with now has a mutual crush with a new female friend and creative collaborator, triggering jealousy, rejection, and old patterns of self-doubt. Together, Mel and Kendall unpack how to notice when your “energy is off,” recognize the fork in the road between old destructive reactions and new empowered choices, and intentionally choose alignment with your bigger goals. The episode reframes painful situations as ‘tests’ from the universe to help you grow, choose yourself, and move toward relationships and opportunities that genuinely energize you.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Use energy as your early-warning system.

When your energy suddenly feels ‘off’ around a person or situation—tension, shrinking, weird vibes—that’s a signal you’re out of alignment. Instead of pushing through, pause and reassess whether continuing to engage actually serves you emotionally and professionally.

Visualize a fork in the road: left is old you, right is new you.

Mel and Kendall frame every trigger as a crossroads: ‘left’ is choosing old patterns (people-pleasing, validation-seeking, self-attack), and ‘right’ is choosing yourself (self-respect, boundaries, long-term goals). Even tiny “right turns” each day build the muscle of responding instead of reacting.

Reframe painful events as tests aligned with your bigger mission.

Kendall chooses to see this entanglement not as punishment but as the universe testing her devotion to her music and growth. Viewing hardships as purposeful lessons helps you stay focused on your higher objective instead of getting stuck in drama.

Practice ‘healthy selfishness’—choose what benefits your growth.

Rather than cutting off both collaborators out of jealousy, Kendall asks, “How can I win from this?” She leans into the professional opportunity and positive relationships, prioritizing her development and goals over ego and insecurity.

Catch and redirect toxic self-talk in real time.

Kendall notices thoughts like “I’m ugly” and “She’s better than me” and consciously refuses to “live there.” Interrupting these loops and choosing a different story is essential to prevent a short-term sting from becoming a long-term identity wound.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Well, I don't want to be with him anyway. I mean, I just don't. I just don't want him to want her.

— Kendall Robbins

Going left means you're choosing other people. Going left means you're seeking validation. Going right means making teeny decisions where you choose yourself.

— Mel Robbins

I really was into him, but I'm more into myself and I'm on my fucking journey and what of it.

— Kendall Robbins

Energy doesn't lie. Turn toward what feels expansive. Turn toward what brings a little bit of energy into your life.

— Mel Robbins

It is a gift that I was even with him, and it is a gift that it didn't work out.

— Kendall Robbins

Handling jealousy and insecurity when someone you like wants someone elseRecognizing energetic shifts and using “energy” as a guide for alignmentThe mental ‘fork in the road’: choosing old patterns vs. new empowered responsesReframing painful experiences as tests and catalysts for growthHealthy selfishness and learning to choose yourself over external validationLong-term healing from past breakups and how it speeds up future processingPractical micro-choices (turning left vs. right) to change your emotional trajectory

High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.