The Mel Robbins Podcast

3 Questions to Ask Yourself to Figure Out What You Really Want

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — If you’ve ever had that quiet thought – “There’s more I’m meant to do” – this episode is your sign to pay attention. What if the life you want isn’t as far away as it feels? What if you could start seeing new possibilities right now? In this episode, Mel shares 3 powerful questions you need to ask yourself this week. Developed by Stanford University professors, these questions have helped millions of people design lives they love. They’re simple, but they’ll shake up how you think about your work, your relationships, your life purpose, and the direction you’re heading right this second. By the end, you’ll know exactly where you have “unfinished business” with yourself – and how to finally take action on it. You’ll learn: -The 3 questions from Stanford’s “Designing Your Life” course that reveal what you really want next. -How to identify and create new options for your life, even when you think you have none. -How to take one small step today that quietly changes everything. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need to blow up your life and start from scratch. You just need to ask yourself these 3 questions, then watch your life change for the better. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-339/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Welcome 5:08 Q1: How Will Your Life Look If You Stay on Your Current Path? 20:08 Q2: If the Path You’re on Disappeared Tomorrow, What Would You Do? 33:18 Q3: How Would Life Look if There Was Nothing Holding You Back? 48:44 Design Your Life with Stanford’s Research 01:00:21 Live the Life You Actually Want — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel Robbinshost

Nov 3, 20251h 2mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Three Transformative Questions To Design A Life You Actually Want

Mel Robbins introduces a three-question framework, adapted from Stanford’s Designing Your Life ‘Odyssey Plan,’ to help listeners get unstuck and clarify what they truly want. First, she asks you to project your current path 1–5 years ahead and honestly assess where it leads. Second, she poses a ‘rug pull’ scenario—if your current path vanished tomorrow, what would you do?—to surface hidden options and a realistic Plan B. Third, she invites you to imagine your life with nothing holding you back, then translate those dreams into small, low‑risk experiments that gently shift your trajectory without blowing up your life.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Project your current path forward to create an honest wake‑up call.

Ask, “If nothing about my life changes, where am I in 1–5 years?” Visualizing the likely future—career, health, relationships—reveals whether your present habits and choices are leading somewhere you actually want to go.

Use discomfort about your trajectory as data, not drama.

If projecting your current path feels depressing or misaligned, that’s not failure—it’s feedback that how you’re living now is no longer working and a signal to start changing direction intentionally.

Run the ‘rug pull’ scenario to uncover real options and resilience.

Imagining that your current job, role, or routine disappeared tomorrow forces your brain to generate concrete Plan B ideas before crisis hits, reducing fear of change and proving you’re more adaptable than you think.

Let yourself daydream without limits to reveal your unfinished business.

Temporarily remove constraints like money, kids, expectations, and ask, “How would life look if nothing held me back?” The images and desires that surface point directly to values, passions, and projects you’ve been postponing.

Other people’s opinions are often a bigger barrier than money or time.

Mel emphasizes the ‘Let Them’ theory: let others misunderstand, judge, or be disappointed, and redirect that mental energy into actions that align with your own values and desires instead of their expectations.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Your life doesn’t change by accident. Your life changes on purpose.

— Mel Robbins

Do you want things to get worse before they get better?

— Mel Robbins

Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.

— James Clear (quoted by Mel Robbins)

The question isn’t meant to keep you stuck or to make you freeze. It’s actually meant to free you.

— Mel Robbins

You’re the hero of your own life.

— Mel Robbins

Stanford’s Designing Your Life course and the Odyssey Plan frameworkThree core questions for life design and clarityVisualizing your future on your current path (Question 1)The ‘rug pull’ Plan B thought experiment (Question 2)Unconstrained dreaming and intrinsic values (Question 3)Overcoming fear, excuses, and other people’s opinions (Let Them theory)Prototyping small experiments to pivot your life gradually

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