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Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people.
It took me years to understand these truths.
It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?”
I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people.
You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t #exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your #parents have become the older they get.
Me too.
I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my #frustration: It’s not them, it’s me.
I’m refusing to accept three things.
These things are hard to accept, and they’re true.
Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your #relationships will be way easier.
In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn #research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and #takeaways that you can put to use immediately.
And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too.
I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy).
Hopefully today’s episode will.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people.
- How do you deal with people who don’t want to change?
- Why some people can’t change.
- My “6-month rule” for any complainer
- What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making
- The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature
For full show notes, go to https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast.
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
04:35 The 3 things you need to accept about other people
06:08 If they wanted to they would also applies to you
09:30 How to word “should” holds judgment
17:17 What happens when you want to do better, but you just can’t
20:46 You can’t make someone else change
25:07 You can’t be mad at someone for being not who YOU want them to be
27:25 The 6 month rule - how to draw boundaries with wallowers
33:59 What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you make
36:37 When you try to change someone you aren’t loving someone, you are judging them
41:07 Energy shifts and patterns change
43:47 Your changes do not inspire other people, they confront them
48:48 Research: The problem with my side bias
53:49 Loving someone is loving where they are, and where they aren’t
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The Mel Robbins Podcast
