The Mel Robbins Podcast

4 Ways to Stay Calm When You’re Stressed: This Life Advice Will Change Your Future

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — In today’s episode, you’re going to learn 4 pieces of advice that will help you act confident when you're stressed, be fearless under pressure, reach your potential, and unlock the magic in your life. If you can’t stop procrastinating, are battling self-doubt, or you just need a reminder that you’re stronger than you think, then this is the episode for you. And if you know someone who’s not living up to their potential because they keep procrastinating on the actions they need to take, send them this episode and let Mel give them the motivation they need. For lots more resources, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-156 Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 03:45: Why The Mel Robbins Podcast listeners are the BEST. 04:40: What got Mel SO excited. 06:00: You get the opportunity of a lifetime but you want to turn it down? 10:50: Why you get mad at people you love who aren’t taking initiative. 13:40: Expect this response when you confront people who are avoiding. 15:50: You avoid lifetime opportunities because of this. 17:25: Do this when someone you love is backing away from opportunities.. 19:45: Be prepared and expect this as a response. 21:10: Life Lesson #1: use these 4 words when you’re stopped by fear. 27:00: Fast forward to Carnegie Hall, and what a surprise this was. 29:10: Does your anxiety look like this too? 34:00: Lesson #2: The BEST thing to do when you’re feeling stressed. 38:20: Here’s what the science says about a good scream. 45:15: Phil Cook is a phenomenal artist; listen to his music clip here. 46:55: The 5 minutes that Mel held her breath in awe. 49:00: The moment designer Leanne Ford’s kindness saved the day. 50:05: Life lesson #3: What if you lived your whole life like this? 51:30: The text exchange between two women supporting each other. 54:25: Life lesson #4: Instead of your phone, get your memories this way. #procrastination #stressrelief #selfdoubt #advice #podcast — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostGuestguest

Mar 18, 20241h 1mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Four Simple Life Lessons From One Unforgettable Night At Carnegie Hall

Mel Robbins recounts the story of her daughter Kendall’s last‑minute invitation to perform her debut single at Carnegie Hall and the emotional rollercoaster that followed. Through Kendall’s initial paralysis, a cathartic elevator scream, a stranger’s extraordinary generosity, and Mel’s own failed attempt to film the performance, Mel extracts four practical life lessons. She shows how to support loved ones without pressuring them, how to manage your own stress in high‑stakes moments, and how small, generous acts can become core memories. The episode closes with a reminder to be fully present for the moments that matter instead of obsessing over documenting them.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Use “I’m confused” to confront avoidance without judgment.

Instead of attacking or nagging, saying “I’m confused…” lets you highlight the gap between what someone said they want and what they’re doing, while inviting them to explain and reveal the real barrier—usually fear or not knowing how to start.

Defuse overwhelm with the phrase “It’s not that deep.”

Repeating “It’s not that deep” lowers the emotional stakes of a situation that feels huge (a job interview, a performance, dating, etc.), helping both you and others move from paralysis back into rational action.

Expect defensiveness when you poke fear—and let people empty it out.

When you question someone’s inaction, their fear and insecurity will likely come out first as excuses or anger; if you stay calm and keep asking “Anything else?”, you’ll eventually reach the honest issue underneath.

Give yourself permission to physically release tension.

A deliberate scream, cry, or big emotional release can trigger a rush of endorphins, reduce muscle tension, and quickly restore a sense of control, turning bottled‑up anxiety into processed emotion instead of paralysis.

Use your resources to tangibly lift others up.

Leanne Ford literally giving Kendall the pants off her body illustrates a mindset where your possessions and status are tools to elevate others; asking “What can I lend or give right now?” creates powerful, lasting impact.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Intellectually, you see somebody’s potential, but the person that you love isn’t living intellectually. They’re living in their emotions.

— Mel Robbins

It’s not that deep. It’s an auditorium on the corner of 57th and 6th in a town called New York City.

— Mel Robbins

What everybody hates is being reminded that you’re bigger than your fears.

— Mel Robbins

You can’t be present to your phone and present to your life at the same time.

— Mel Robbins

What if your possessions were not yours to have, but yours to give, and to lend to others, to lift them up?

— Mel Robbins

Supporting loved ones who are afraid to seize big opportunitiesUsing language and reframing (“It’s not that deep”) to defuse stressEmotional release as a tool for regaining control (the power of a scream)Generosity, mentorship, and women uplifting women (the “magic pants” story)Managing performance anxiety and pressure in high‑stakes situationsBeing present versus trying to record every important momentAligning behavior with stated goals and navigating fear, self‑doubt, and imposter syndrome

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