The Mel Robbins Podcast

5 Things Only Fake Friends Do & How to Let Go of What No Longer Serves You with Trent Shelton

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — There is one thing you need to live a more peaceful and fulfilled life: Having the right people around you. In today’s episode, you’ll learn the surprising reasons why your friends aren’t more supportive and the sneaky ways people are disrespecting you. In order to find more joy and less stress, you need positive relationships with people that actually cheer you on, that believe in your potential, and that make your life better. Today, you’ll learn exactly how to find those people, take your power back, and create more peace in your life. Joining Mel is Trent Shelton (@TrentSheltonVideos ). Trent is a bestselling author who is beloved by his 15 million followers for his inspiration and insight, and today he’s sharing that profound wisdom with you. For more resources, including links to Trent’s new book, Protect Your Peace, and his social media platforms, click here: http://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-151 Follow Trent Shelton on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trentshelton Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: 00:00: Intro 01:40: Harvard study found THESE have the #1 biggest impact on your life. 02:25: Mel’s favorite quote from her friend, Trent Shelton. 04:45: How do you know if your friends are not genuine? 07:25: This one word will reveal the quality of your relationships. 12:40: The first group of people you can’t be friends with. 15:25: The second type of person you want to avoid. 16:25: Ask this question when you’re growing and your friends aren’t. 19:00: The third type of person that will drag your life down. 20:55: This fourth type of person requires a deeper level of consideration. 24:30: Mel admits a big truth about her circle of friends. 28:10: If you’re in your 20’s, listen to this. 30:35: Trent reveals what he did when his mindset was at its lowest. 32:40: The words you need to hear when you don’t feel your purpose. 35:35: How do you pull yourself out of your funk? 37:25: Step #1 when you realize your friends are not for you. 40:45: What to do when a friend didn’t support you when you needed it. 42:25: What to remember when it’s time to say no. 44:00: How do you develop rock solid principles? 50:20: What does it mean to be loyal to your ‘pace’? 53:15: How do you trust yourself and the process when it’s not working? 59:00: What is ‘soul momentum’? 59:50: If you don’t feel your worth, you’re probably doing this. 1:00:03: What do you do when you’ve made mistakes in your past? 1:05:45: Feeling drained by other people? Listen to this. 1:08:38: You’ve never heard this about boundaries. 1:10:20: What to know when you feel you’ve lost your way. 1:11:45: Do this when you’re worried about your kids and their choices. 1:13:20 Struggling with how to find your purpose? This is for you. 1:15:25: If you’re not leaving a toxic relationship, this is probably why. 1:17:20: Living with depression? Mel and Trent were, too. Listen to this. #relationshipadvice #findpeace #innerpeace #positivity #dreamlife #friendships — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostTrent Sheltonguest

Feb 28, 20241h 21mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Spotting Fake Friends, Guarding Your Peace, And Reclaiming Your Life

Mel Robbins and Trent Shelton explore how the people around you can either fuel your growth or quietly destroy your peace, happiness, and potential.
Trent breaks down four types of people you can’t afford to be close to, how to recognize fake or unhealthy friendships, and why shrinking your circle often clarifies your vision and amplifies your impact.
They dive into boundaries, self-worth, and the power of choosing your pace in life, emphasizing that you must be loyal to your principles and your peace rather than to others’ expectations.
Throughout, Trent offers practical frameworks and deeply personal stories to help listeners let go of what no longer serves them, demand their worth, and move toward a future self without regret.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Audit your circle: your environment is either draining you or growing you.

If you constantly feel drained, questioned, unsupported, or only valued for what you provide (benefits, status, money, access), that’s evidence you’re in the wrong environment and need to change people’s position in your life.

Look for four red-flag types you cannot be close to.

Trent identifies: (1) people who want your life in a toxic, envious way; (2) terrible people with poor character; (3) gossipers who betray confidences; and (4) those who are friendly with your enemies or quietly root against you.

Use invitations and clear communication to reset relationships.

“Unclear communication creates unfair expectations”: tell people where you’re going, what you’re no longer available for, and what you need. If they decline the “invitation” to your growth, they’re choosing to stay behind—you’re not abandoning them.

Be loyal to your principles and your peace, not to people-pleasing.

Decide what you value (e.g., peace, integrity, honesty) and let those principles make decisions for you. Saying no then becomes about protecting your standards instead of feeling selfish or cold-hearted.

Boundaries are bridges, not walls—set them and stand on them.

Healthy boundaries aren’t about shutting everyone out; they’re about letting the right people and behavior in. Define what you need, which boundary will protect that need, and what it will cost you if you don’t enforce it.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

I trust people for who they are. The problem is we trust people for who we want them to be.

— Trent Shelton

If people want to call me cold-hearted, I would rather be viewed as cold-hearted than live broken-hearted.

— Trent Shelton

You tell people how to treat you by what you continuously accept.

— Trent Shelton

Do you want to die unhappy?

— Trent Shelton

When my circle got smaller, my vision got clearer.

— Trent Shelton

The impact of your circle and environment on your peace and potentialFour types of people you can’t be friends with (fake and harmful relationships)Setting and enforcing boundaries to protect your energy and peaceBuilding self-worth from the inside out and demanding your valueLetting go of toxic relationships and overcoming guilt about outgrowing peopleTrusting your own pace, resisting comparison, and creating “soul momentum”Using the “future you” and regret as motivation to change your life now

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