The Mel Robbins Podcast

6 Signs You’re Disconnected From Your Power and How to Get It Back | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Ready to level up? 🚀 https://bit.ly/takecontrol2023 👈 Sign up for my FREE 3-part science-backed training, Take Control with Mel Robbins! It’s designed specifically to help you step back into excellence, take ACTION, and create the life you deserve 🌟 — If you feel that something’s missing from your life but have no idea exactly what’s missing or where to begin looking for it, today’s episode will help you reconnect with your power and find greater meaning in your life. Dr. Thema Bryant (@themabryant is the current president of the American Psychological Association. She trained at both Duke and Harvard, published multiple best-selling books, and has dedicated decades of her life to researching how we connect with each other by first connecting back to ourselves. Dr. Thema is a national treasure. Her presence and her voice will put you at ease. And she has the unique gift of weaving together psychological strategies for healing with the deeper spiritual cornerstones of faith and trusting in "that which cannot be explained." In this episode, we dive into: -6 signs that you are disconnected from yourself -what it means to be "psychologically wandering" -how to handle people in your life who are chronically irritable and angry -the surprising signs of "irritable depression" -the three words to say to yourself before you can begin healing -why self-care is critical if you are in a toxic workplace (you are more than your labor) -why you need to stop talking about your significant other and your boss in therapy. -where to find therapy when you can’t afford it. You are so much more than a highway for other people to get where they’re going. With Dr. Thema’s wisdom and tactics, you’ll reconnect with yourself and take the wheel on your own incredible journey in life. Xo Mel In this episode, you'll learn: 00:00 Intro 03:49 I got really emotional when I acknowledged how my life used to be 08:12 The West African fable that should be required reading for everyone 11:26 Even if you’ve never felt it; you can learn to be home with yourself 13:42 This is the first and most powerful step to your “homecoming” 16:58 6 powerful signs that you are disconnected from yourself and what that means 18:22 Do people with an attitude actually have depression? 21:39 What is healing, anyway? 23:19 How do we handle people in our lives who are irritable, frustrated, and angry? 26:57 It’s a big mistake if you wait for this before you start your own healing 31:12 How do you heal from a lifetime of messaging that you’re not worthy? 33:20 This is how you handle working in a toxic work environment 38:17 How to know if you need therapy or you need spirituality 43:00 Even if you’ve never felt it; you can learn to feel worthy 48:28 Look to these resources if you can’t afford therapy. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostDr. Thema Bryantguest

May 25, 20231h 0mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Reclaim Your Inner Power: From Psychological Homelessness To Homecoming

Mel Robbins interviews psychologist, minister, and APA president Dr. Thema Bryant about what it means to be disconnected from yourself and how to come back ‘home’ to your authentic identity.
Through stories, a West African eagle-and-chicken fable, and practical therapeutic tools, they explore “psychological homelessness,” trauma, toxic environments, and the feeling of living on autopilot or as a smaller version of yourself.
Dr. Bryant outlines signs that you’re cut off from your power, explains how trauma and conditioning teach you to settle and disconnect, and emphasizes that healing is a spiritual and psychological homecoming available to everyone.
They discuss concrete practices—breathwork, self-care, community care, morning rituals, challenging cognitive distortions, and reparenting yourself—that help you stop living like a ‘chicken,’ reclaim your voice, and begin to fly.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Feeling unsettled is a signal you are settling and disconnected.

Persistent feelings of powerlessness, emptiness, or being ‘unsettled’ often indicate you’re living misaligned with your truth—staying in jobs, relationships, or roles that require you to shrink or deny yourself.

Psychological homelessness starts to heal when you admit, “I miss myself.”

Honestly recognizing that you feel lost, numb, or like a stranger to yourself is the first step; you can’t come home if you won’t acknowledge that you’ve been wandering.

You can come home to yourself even if you’ve never been ‘home’ before.

Even if trauma, stress, or early conditioning forced you into pure survival mode—people-pleasing, playing small, or constant productivity—you can still unfold into your authentic self later in life.

Busyness and excellence can hide unhealed wounds, not prove worthiness.

Overachievement and constant productivity often mask unresolved trauma; you may look strong and successful, but still be driven by insecurity, pain, or a need to prove you belong.

Irritability and ‘bad attitude’ can be depression and despair in disguise.

What looks like anger or hostility often covers deep sadness and hopelessness—recognizing this can shift you from reacting defensively to responding with softness and compassion, both to others and yourself.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Can we get to the place where we can admit, ‘I miss myself’?

— Dr. Thema Bryant

The reason you feel unsettled is because you’re not supposed to settle.

— Dr. Thema Bryant

You have been treated like chickens, dating like chickens, picking jobs like chickens, but you’re not a chicken. You’re an eagle, so fly.

— Dr. Thema Bryant

I don’t want to be driven, I want to be called.

— Dr. Thema Bryant (quoting coach Shannon Evette)

I don’t want to keep my healing hostage waiting for the healing of those who harmed me.

— Dr. Thema Bryant

Concept of homecoming vs. psychological homelessness and disconnection from selfThe eagle-and-chicken fable as a metaphor for hidden potential and identityTrauma, survival patterns, and how they fuel people-pleasing, playing small, and busynessSix reflective questions that reveal psychological homelessness and powerlessnessIrritable depression, ‘attitude’ as despair, and how to respond with compassionSelf-care and community care as parallel pillars of healing and reparenting yourselfNavigating toxic work and relationship environments while reclaiming your power

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