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A Yale Psychologist Explains Why Teens are Spiraling (It’s Not What You Think) | Mel Robbins Podcast

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist and author of three New York Times bestsellers. She earned degrees from both Yale and the University of Michigan and has more than 30 years of experience working with #teens and #families. Her latest book, "The Emotional Lives of Teenagers," has been nothing short of life changing. Today you will learn… -five words you need to know when someone you love is struggling -the signs that tell you when someone is “costly coping” -what to say that will prevent a conversation from turning into a battle -why your kids dump all their emotional garbage on you -when it’s time for a therapist -why struggles are signs of being “mentally WELL”! Leave this episode full of the resources you deserve. Xo Mel In this episode, you'll learn: 00:00 Intro 07:23 Why uncomfortable has become unmanageable in today’s culture 11:42 What does it mean to be “mentally well”? 16:21 What is costly coping and what action to take when doing this 22:05 The parenting advice you need starts with compassion and understanding 29:06 Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently. 32:01 Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders. 36:58 How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go? 41:02 Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.” 46:49 How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved? 50:18 The impact of the pandemic on adolescence 58:01 When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning? 1:01:17 What happened to our nervous system during this time? 1:03:00 These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for. 1:07:36 When do healthy habits become an obsession? 1:16:32 How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home? 1:18:07 Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostDr. Lisa Damourguest
May 18, 20231h 25mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

  1. 0:00 – 7:23

    Intro

  2. 7:23 – 11:42

    Why uncomfortable has become unmanageable in today’s culture

  3. 11:42 – 16:21

    What does it mean to be “mentally well”?

  4. 16:21 – 22:05

    What is costly coping and what action to take when doing this

  5. 22:05 – 29:06

    The parenting advice you need starts with compassion and understanding

  6. 29:06 – 32:01

    Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently.

  7. 32:01 – 36:58

    Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders.

  8. 36:58 – 41:02

    How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go?

  9. 41:02 – 46:49

    Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.”

  10. 46:49 – 50:18

    How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved?

  11. 50:18 – 58:01

    The impact of the pandemic on adolescence

  12. 58:01 – 1:01:17

    When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning?

  13. 1:01:17 – 1:03:00

    What happened to our nervous system during this time?

  14. 1:03:00 – 1:07:36

    These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for.

  15. 1:07:36 – 1:16:32

    When do healthy habits become an obsession?

  16. 1:16:32 – 1:18:07

    How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home?

  17. 1:18:07 – 1:25:23

    Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen.

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