The Mel Robbins Podcast

Do THIS Every Day to Rewire Your Brain From Stress and Anxiety

What you learn today will make you forever calmer and more in control of your emotions. If you’ve ever had a moment where you thought: “Why does one email, one comment…ruin my day?” “Why do I always get overwhelmed by the littlest things?” “Why am I like this?” This conversation gives you the answer. In this episode, Dr. Burke Harris explains why so many of the patterns you hate, like being reactive, shutting down, people-pleasing, not being able to follow through, and feeling dread for no reason, are not your “personality flaws” – and she gives you the truth. Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, MD, is one of the most important voices in trauma science and public health. She’s a pediatrician who conducted pioneering research on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), the founder of the Center for Youth Wellness, and the former Surgeon General of the State of California. She is here to tell you that your body is running an overactive stress response that got wired in childhood and never got turned off. You will be able to start rewiring your nervous system today, with one powerful 3-word sentence you can say to yourself. It takes less than a few minutes and reverses the feelings that make life harder than it should be. In this episode, you’ll learn: -Why you shut down sometimes, get emotional, “triggered”, or overwhelmed (and why it’s not your fault) -Why you procrastinate even when it feels bad -How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime -Why trauma is (Mel had it wrong for decades) and how childhood trauma is keeping you stuck -How to help your body return to balance after being upset -The 3 essential words that rewire your nervous system -The 7 evidence-based things you can do to regulate your nervous system -How to support someone you love who’s stuck, shut down, or overwhelmed in their life This episode is hopeful, practical, and empowering. You will get a playbook that helps you rewire your nervous system so you feel less stress and more in control of your emotions. When you finally understand what’s happening in your body, you can have a different life. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-390/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. In this episode: 00:00 Intro 1:59 The Impact Of Stress On Your Biology 5:14 What Is Trauma and Its Effects? 7:50 How Childhood Trauma Can Impact Your Life 14:30 The Top 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) That Can Cause Trauma 19:23 What Is Buffering? 29:28 What Baby Rats Teach Us About Overcoming Trauma 33:39 How Does Your Body Remember Trauma? 46:55 Daily Self Regulation Practices for Adults 54:06 Willpower Or Biology: What’s in Control? 1:02:47 Hopeful Signs You are Healing From Trauma 1:04:54 How To Help Someone You Love Who Has Experienced Trauma 1:06:09 How To Heal From Trauma — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic

MRMel RobbinshostNHDr. Nadine Burke Harrisguest

Apr 27, 2026·1h 10m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

1. 1
   0:00 – 1:59

   Why this trauma science can change your health, reactions, and relationships

   Mel introduces Dr. Nadine Burke Harris and frames the core promise: when you understand stress biology, stress stops driving your life. They preview how trauma science can improve health, reduce reactivity, and make relationships feel more connected and less effortful.

2. 2
   1:59 – 5:14

   How stress changes your biology (and why it shows up physically)

   Dr. Burke Harris explains that overwhelming stress affects multiple body systems, not just mood. Mel and Dr. Burke Harris connect chronic stress activation to symptoms like headaches, GI issues, immune activation, and longer-term disease risk.

3. 3
   5:14 – 7:50

   Redefining trauma: not what happened, but your body’s response

   They clarify a crucial definition: trauma is the biological response to overwhelming stress, not merely the event itself. The body can keep responding long after the event, even if you don’t consciously remember it.

4. 4
   7:50 – 14:30

   A pediatric case study: when trauma stops a child’s growth

   Dr. Burke Harris describes the patient that changed her career: a 7-year-old with growth arrest linked to sexual assault at age four. The story illustrates how trauma physiology can become visible in the body—and how appropriate therapy can normalize stress hormones and support healing.

5. 5
   14:30 – 19:23

   How childhood adversity quietly affects adult life—especially relationships

   They explore the “surprising” adult manifestations of childhood stress: snapping, emotional flooding, shutdown, people-pleasing, and chronic tension. Relationships are highlighted as the most common arena where an overactive stress response repeatedly gets tested.

6. 6
   19:23 – 29:28

   The 10 ACEs and the dose-response link to mental and physical illness

   Dr. Burke Harris outlines the original ACE study and the 10 categories of adversity, emphasizing how common they are. She explains the “dose-response” relationship: more ACEs correlate with higher risks of depression, addiction, heart and lung disease, and more—beyond lifestyle factors alone.

7. 7
   29:28 – 33:39

   What “buffering” is: how support and regulation bring your body back to baseline

   Buffering is introduced as the set of interventions that helps the body re-regulate after stress. They use parenting examples (calm presence, reassurance, hugging) to show how safety cues and connection biologically inhibit the stress response.

8. 8
   33:39 – 46:55

   The teeter-totter model: why early trauma needs “more” buffering

   Using a seesaw analogy, Dr. Burke Harris explains that early adversity shifts the “fulcrum,” making the system harder to balance later. The younger the exposure, the more buffering is required to counterbalance a sensitized stress response—even when adult life looks successful on paper.

9. 9
   46:55 – 54:06

   What baby rat research teaches about epigenetics, caregiving, and reversibility

   Dr. Burke Harris shares landmark animal research: rat pups who received more “buffering” (licking/grooming) became more stress-tolerant, and even showed different epigenetic markers. Cross-fostering showed the rearing environment—not biology alone—shaped stress reactivity, supporting hope for change later in life.

10. 10
    54:06 – 1:02:47

    “I’m here”: daily self-regulation and therapy as corrective experiences

    Both Mel and Dr. Burke Harris share personal reflections: unbuffered trauma can create decades-long bodily dread and reactivity. Dr. Burke Harris explains her daily routine (meditation, journaling) and describes EMDR, emphasizing the power of a corrective experience—adult-you showing up with a regulated presence.

11. 11
    1:02:47 – 1:04:54

    A practical buffering playbook: the 7 evidence-based interventions

    Dr. Burke Harris offers a clear starting point for listeners who feel overwhelmed: begin simply and consistently. She lists seven evidence-based buffering supports and encourages building safe relationships and professional support when needed.

12. 12
    1:04:54 – 1:06:09

    Willpower vs. biology: bears, amygdala hijack, freeze/fawn, and shame loops

    They explain why motivation and mindset often fail under chronic stress activation: the amygdala triggers stress hormones and down-regulates the prefrontal cortex (planning, impulse control). Fight/flight/freeze (and fawn) are framed as survival adaptations; shame then amplifies stress and isolation, making support harder to access.

13. 13
    1:06:09 – 1:10:46

    Signs you’re healing—and how to support someone you love

    They close with hopeful indicators: less reactivity, quicker recovery, improved health symptoms, and more responsive relationships. Dr. Burke Harris advises supporters to be a regulated witness—validate impact, express love, and reinforce that healing is possible—while Mel emphasizes building “infrastructure” before crisis hits.