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The Mel Robbins PodcastHow to Design Your Life (A Full Step-by-Step Process)
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Stop Chasing Realistic Goals: Intentionally Design Your Next Ten Years
- Mel Robbins interviews designer and educator Debbie Millman on a structured, imaginative process for intentionally designing your life 10 years into the future. Millman explains that life design is not about what’s realistic or probable, but about daring to explore what’s possible, then declaring it in writing and aloud. The core exercise: time-travel a decade ahead, write a detailed “day in your life” essay covering where you live, how you feel, what you do, who you love, and what you’ve mastered. Millman argues that this kind of radical envisioning shifts self-permission, unlocks hope, and quietly guides day‑to‑day choices, leading many of her students to realize most of what they once only imagined.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasDesign your life around possibility, not probability or realism.
Millman emphasizes that most people prematurely limit themselves by asking what’s realistic or likely to work instead of what they deeply want; the exercise intentionally suspends concerns about process and feasibility so you can fully articulate your true desires.
Write a detailed 10-year vision starting with one simple sentence.
Begin with a date 10 years from today and the line, “I open my eyes and…,” then describe your entire day in rich detail—where you live, your home, relationships, work, health, money, and how you feel—treating it as a lived reality rather than a vague wishlist.
Read your vision aloud, then put it away and live.
Declaring your essay to others (or at least out loud to yourself) helps integrate your desires into your identity and intentions; after that, you don’t obsess over it daily but revisit it periodically to notice which elements are quietly beginning to manifest.
Notice where you’re deciding something is impossible before trying.
People routinely rule out careers, creative ambitions, or relationships based solely on fear, shame, or perceived unworthiness; Millman urges you to ask what you’re telling yourself you can’t do that you actually could if you were willing to risk not getting it.
Use jealousy and admiration as clues to what you truly want.
If you feel jealous of someone else’s life or achievements, that emotion can reveal your own suppressed desires; instead of denying it, examine what it’s pointing to and consider how that might inform your 10-year vision.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesIt’s not about determining what is probable, it’s about determining what is possible.
— Debbie Millman
People determine what is impossible before they even try what is possible.
— Debbie Millman
We’re afraid to want things, because we’re afraid that if we want things and we don’t get them, that we are failing or that we’ll be humiliated.
— Debbie Millman
I don’t believe in ‘fake it till you make it.’ I say, make it until you make it.
— Debbie Millman
If not now, when?
— Debbie Millman
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
