How to Find Your Purpose and Achieve Your Dreams With Jamie Kern Lima | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Mel Robbins 0:03 This is really an unbelievable episode, and it's all about purpose. And today, Jamie Kern Lima is here.

Jamie Kern Lima 0:12 That, in my opinion, is one of the strongest ways to find your purpose. It's what has just destroyed you or hurt you that you've maybe made it through-

Mel Robbins 0:22 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 0:22 ...and how can you now use that making it through to help someone who's going through it?

Mel Robbins 0:29 That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose, Jamie Kern Lima. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to... This is really an unbelievable episode, and it's all about purpose. That's what this is, on The Mel Robbins Podcast. Okay. You are in for an incredible master class on purpose, success, vision, intuition. My name is Mel Robbins. I'm a New York Times best-selling author, and I am so excited that you're here, because today, I am gonna introduce you to not only one of my closest friends, a woman that I profoundly admire, but you are also going to get a master class on some of the most important topics when it comes to creating a better life. You're about to meet a woman who went from being a waitress at Denny's to solving a problem that she had in her own life and creating a cosmetics company in her living room and growing it to a game changer in the cosmetic industry. She ultimately sold IT Cosmetics. Yep, IT Cosmetics, that incredible mega-brand. She sold that sucker for 1.2 billion, that's a B, billion dollars, to L'Oreal in cash, and she went on to become the first female CEO inside of L'Oreal, the first one in 100 years. She has appeared on QVC over 1,000 times. She has built the largest cosmetic brand that they have ever launched. Not only that, but she has donated more than 40 million in products and in cash to survivors of cancer. Uh, is it feel good, do better? What is it?

Jamie Kern Lima 2:27 Yeah, look and feel better. I know, I love you.

Mel Robbins 2:28 Look h- Hi, honey. Look, uh, t- to the, the... To look and feel better. And she is one of my favorite human beings of all time. She wrote the book Believe It!, and it is a instant New York Times best-seller. And today, Jamie Kern Lima is here as my friend and as the professor in the topics, literally, of drive, purpose, success, meaning, giving back. There is so much. I can't wait to dig in with you, Jamie. Thank you for being here.

Jamie Kern Lima 2:58 Mel, thank you. Thank you for having me. This is gonna be fun and real and raw, and I can't wait, and I hope it just adds so much value to everyone listening, so I'm grateful to be here. Thank you.

Mel Robbins 3:07 There's no question, because you know how you have those friends in your life that you don't see very often?

Jamie Kern Lima 3:14 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 3:15 But every time you do, it's like no time has disappeared, and you just have this, like, kinda twinkle on your skin because you just love being with this person. I love you so much, Jamie. I'm actually mad at you that you live so far away from me-

Jamie Kern Lima 3:29 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 3:29 ...so maybe we should just start right there.

Jamie Kern Lima 3:31 I love you. Thank you. I feel the very same way, and one of the things I wanna share... I know we're gonna dive in deep on purpose. By the way, I love purpose professor. I'm like, "Yeah-

Mel Robbins 3:38 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 3:39 "...let's do it. Let's do it," 'cause that's one of our biggest life questions. How do I find my purpose? Um, but I just wanna say, Mel, something really important to me that I didn't wanna leave here without saying. You can edit this out if you don't like it, but everybody listening needs to know this. You are one of the rare human beings that is the same off air, behind the scenes, in your everyday life as you are in all the public things. You know what I mean? And you and I both met so many celebrities and so many people with millions and millions of followers, and it's very rare they're the same, and I just... One of the things I love so much about you is you are even more funny-

Mel Robbins 4:15 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 4:15 ...even more intelligent and brilliant and kind and raw and real, um, in real life. So, that congruency is like one in a billion, and I love you, and I'm just grateful to be here for you.

Mel Robbins 4:29 Wow.

Jamie Kern Lima 4:30 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 4:30 Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 4:31 Just that. (laughs)

Mel Robbins 4:31 I think the episode's over now.

Jamie Kern Lima 4:33 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 4:34 No, we gotta go back

Mel Robbins 4:35 in time, because, you know, I think f-... One of the reasons why I wanted to have you on is because the entire mission of this show is to empower and inspire you listening to us right now to create a better life-

Jamie Kern Lima 4:50 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 4:50 ...whatever that means for you, to take the simple steps that sometimes feel impossible to pursue your dreams, to improve your health, to create greater connections, to believe in yourself, and Jamie truly is not only the professor of purpose, but her life story is a demonstration-

Jamie Kern Lima 5:10 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 5:11 ...in cultivating belief, belief in your ideas, belief in your intuition, belief in God, belief that things will turn out. And so I wanna go back in time because, you know, I've heard you on the stages that you speak around the world talk about how you started as a waitress in Denny's-

Jamie Kern Lima 5:34 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 5:35 ...and then from waitressing at Denny's pursued a dream that you had of being on television.

Jamie Kern Lima 5:42 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 5:43 And as a fellow former waitress, I would love to start there.

Jamie Kern Lima 5:47 Mm. Yeah, waitress at Denny's, um, full uniform, name tag to prove it.

Mel Robbins 5:54 Oh, I forgot they-

Jamie Kern Lima 5:55 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 5:55 ...had uniforms.

Jamie Kern Lima 5:55 Full uniform, uh...

Mel Robbins 5:57 What was your favorite thing on the menu?

Jamie Kern Lima 5:59 Oh, gosh, I loved the pancakes. You know what?

Mel Robbins 6:01 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 6:01 Just, like, simple... Um, it's so funny how our steps are ordered, I think, in life.

Mel Robbins 6:06 Mm.

Jamie Kern Lima 6:06 And so often... I remember being a waitress at Denny's. I remember feeling and, and maybe, um, maybe someone...... listening to us can relate to this right now. You have this feeling inside of you, like, there's something more I'm supposed to do, but you don't know what it is yet, and you doubt it might be possible. And I remember being a waitress at Denny's and just feeling like I had these big dreams, but not quite knowing, like, how do I believe I'm worthy of them yet? And, um, it was this big season in my life. Uh, at the same time, Mel, the kitchen at the Denny's I worked at was a disaster, like, they would take an hour to get pancakes out.

Mel Robbins 6:42 Huh.

Jamie Kern Lima 6:42 So I learned to talk to people so that they wouldn't leave. They often did leave. (laughs) Um, or they'd throw, like, a dime and a penny on the table and leave.

Mel Robbins 6:51 As your tip, as if it's your fault-

Jamie Kern Lima 6:52 Yeah, exactly. (laughs)

Mel Robbins 6:53 ... that the food were, uh-huh.

Jamie Kern Lima 6:54 But it's so funny how, you know, years later, when I ended up launching my own business, I'm like, "Oh, I've got to get the operations right (laughs) or nothing else matters." You know, it's just those little things we learn along the way. Um, but yeah, after, after that, I, I, um, I thought my whole life I would, I would have a talk show. I watched Oprah in my living room growing up, so I thought for sure I would share other people's stories with the world. So I went into, uh, you know, did all the jobs, saved up all my money to, to pay through, uh, pay for school, and, and, um, push grocery carts in the grocery parking lot, slice meat in the deli, all those fun jobs, and then found myself in my, in what I thought was my dream job, working in TV news, and I thought, "This is it, right?" And what I

Jamie Kern Lima 7:36 didn't realize was I was about to enter this huge season of setback in my life-

Mel Robbins 7:39 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 7:40 ... um, of self-doubt. Uh, I have a skin condition called rosacea, and for me, it started getting really red, really bumpy. Uh, and I would be anchoring the news live thinking like, you know, "Okay, this is it, this is it." And I started hearing in my earpiece, uh, from my producer, "There's something on your face, there's something on your face."

Mel Robbins 7:58 Oh my God.

Jamie Kern Lima 7:58 "You need to wipe it off. You need to..." And I was live on television, right? And I would glance down during the commercial break, and I saw, oh, the makeup is breaking up on my face, and these big red bumps are coming through. And it started this season that felt like setback, um, but so often in life, the, the seasons that feel like setbacks are, are actually setups for what we're called to do.

Mel Robbins 8:22 Okay, stop right there. Did you hear that? The seasons of your life that are setbacks are often setups for what you're called to do. I wanna just make sure everybody heard that, and I wanna take a, a highlighter and also highlight something that you said about being a waitress at Denny's, and it's this. You said, "Our steps are ordered."

Jamie Kern Lima 8:51 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 8:52 So can you explain what that means, particularly to somebody who's listening-

Jamie Kern Lima 8:57 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 8:57 ... who may feel like, "I know I'm meant for something greater-"

Jamie Kern Lima 9:01 Yes.

Mel Robbins 9:01 "... why the hell am I at this step? And this does not feel like it is, like, on the path of where I'm supposed to go."

Jamie Kern Lima 9:07 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 9:07 So what do you mean by the fact that our steps are ordered?

Jamie Kern Lima 9:10 Yeah. I believe, you know, everything in life-

Mel Robbins 9:14 Yep.

Jamie Kern Lima 9:14 ... is happening for us, even when it doesn't make sense.

Mel Robbins 9:17 Ugh. Can we just... What do you mean, "Happening for us?"

Jamie Kern Lima 9:20 I think-

Mel Robbins 9:20 So to somebody that's, like, really in it, Jaime-

Jamie Kern Lima 9:23 Yes, yes.

Mel Robbins 9:24 ... what does that mean?

Jamie Kern Lima 9:26 Let me frame it around our topic of purpose, right?

Mel Robbins 9:30 Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 9:30 So often people feel empty because they feel like, "Oh, my purpose needs to be some job, it needs to be my job, or it needs to be this, this grand thing I haven't figured out yet." But for those of us that have accomplished a goal we always dreamed of, we get to it and we're like, "Oh, this isn't it," right? It's never... In my opinion, purpose is never this, this big goal necessarily. Purpose is so often when we're able to serve the person we once were or serve in a way for something we've gone through. And here's what I mean. Uh, I think our purpose can be like, "Oh, wow, I went through a really freaking hard season in my life-"

Mel Robbins 10:12 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 10:12 "... and I now am actually realizing I'm born to be a generational cycle breaker in my family."

Mel Robbins 10:19 Hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 10:20 That is an incredible purpose, right? Purpose can be like, "Oh, I've been having a hard season for a long time, and when I actually just take a minute and say hi to someone else who's lonely," maybe it's, like, in the s-, in the coffee line at Starbucks, maybe it's the, the, the neighbor down the street, whatever it is, you feel in your gut a sense of fulfillment, like a sense of alignment when you're doing something in your purpose.

Mel Robbins 10:46 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 10:47 And I think that the big mistake people make is they think it's this end goal, right? A lot of times when people, uh, hear my story and they hear the, "Oh, Denny's waitress builds billion-dollar company," they think my purpose was to be some big entrepreneur.

Mel Robbins 11:02 It wasn't?

Jamie Kern Lima 11:02 It wasn't.

Mel Robbins 11:03 What was it?

Jamie Kern Lima 11:04 I- in the journey of how I did it-

Mel Robbins 11:06 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 11:06 ... I took this massive risk, right, taking my makeup off on national television when I was told not to, um, and, and being brave enough to be seen-

Mel Robbins 11:16 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 11:16 ... and helping other women realize, uh, that they're worthy and enough exactly as they are, seeing them as who they are. To me, that is my purpose. And in doing that, um, it just... A, a byproduct of that with IT Cosmetics is we built a company with millions and millions and millions and millions of customers. Uh, and what's wild is 5% of our customers actually have skin issues, like I do. 95% don't. It's just that they felt seen and connected with something that spoke to their soul, right? For me, being willing to say, "Here I am, exactly as I am, no makeup and, you know, all my skin issues," um, I think people connected with that, that feeling of, of, "Oh, I'm enough exactly as I am."

Mel Robbins 12:04 You know what else I think is a really important part of your story? It is waitressing.

Jamie Kern Lima 12:12 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 12:12 It's pushing carts in a supermarket.

Jamie Kern Lima 12:14 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 12:14 It's working in the back house of a restaurant.

Jamie Kern Lima 12:17 Yes.

Mel Robbins 12:17 That's my story too. Helping my best friend on her paper route, uh, busing tables. And I think when you work in retail or you work in a service job-

Jamie Kern Lima 12:27 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 12:27 ... and you feel at times invisible-

Jamie Kern Lima 12:29 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 12:30 ... you start to realize how important it is...... to treat everybody with respect and kindness.

Jamie Kern Lima 12:36 Yes.

Mel Robbins 12:36 That there is no work that is beneath you, and when you can bring that level of service to the job that you have right now, even if you hate it, even if tre- people treat you like garbage, even if the, the, the, the back of the house is not getting those pancakes out on time-

Jamie Kern Lima 12:54 Yes. (laughs)

Mel Robbins 12:54 ... and people are angry, if you can bring a sense of grace and service, and just humility to those roles, I think it changes how you show up when things start working out, because you don't ever forget what

Mel Robbins 13:08 it's like to be treated like shit-

Jamie Kern Lima 13:10 Yes.

Mel Robbins 13:10 ... because somebody was mad that their pancakes weren't out on time.

Jamie Kern Lima 13:13 Yes. Yes, and also, you and I have had this experience where we've truly gotten to see and be almost every type of person-

Mel Robbins 13:22 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 13:22 ... in every type-

Mel Robbins 13:22 Yeah. (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 13:22 ... of environment, and so now, it's like whether it's me building a business or you building one of the top shows in the world-

Mel Robbins 13:29 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 13:29 ... one of the top shows in the world, um, I feel part of that was like, "Oh, we understand who, who's listening and watching you-"

Mel Robbins 13:39 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 13:39 "... right now."

Mel Robbins 13:39 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 13:39 "I understand who real people are, who built, you know, who b- who bought my products, and-"

Mel Robbins 13:44 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 13:45 ... and, and so when you mentioned steps are ordered, it's like, you know, no matter where you are in your life right now, what you're going through, I believe every piece of it, whether it's, "Oh, someone just, you know, cut me off in a parking lot and screamed at me," or, oh, whatever it might be you're going through, all of those things are happening for you-

Mel Robbins 14:02 Mm.

Jamie Kern Lima 14:03 ... I believe-

Mel Robbins 14:03 I love that.

Jamie Kern Lima 14:04 ... so that you're amassing this toolbox of understanding, uh, uh, and getting strong enough and equipped enough for the purpose you step into.

Mel Robbins 14:12 Amazing. So Professor of Purpose, Jamie Kern Lima-

Jamie Kern Lima 14:15 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 14:15 ... right there. That's your takeaway number one. The steps are ordered.

Jamie Kern Lima 14:18 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 14:18 Believe in that.

Jamie Kern Lima 14:19 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 14:19 And this moment is helping you. It's giving you something, so that is one major tool that you used along the way. Let's go back to that moment, 'cause I think you were 28 years old, right-

Jamie Kern Lima 14:30 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 14:30 ... when you're sitting on television in Seattle.

Jamie Kern Lima 14:33 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 14:33 You are a local news anchor. You're living the dream. You're on your way, and you are now starting to have this nightmare happen-

Jamie Kern Lima 14:40 Yes.

Mel Robbins 14:41 ... where your rosacea is breaking through on camera, in front of everybody-

Jamie Kern Lima 14:48 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 14:48 ... the makeup that they put on you-

Jamie Kern Lima 14:50 Yes.

Mel Robbins 14:50 ... and you've got people in your ear, telling you-

Jamie Kern Lima 14:53 (sighs)

Mel Robbins 14:53 ... "There's something wrong with your face."

Jamie Kern Lima 14:55 Yes.

Mel Robbins 14:56 And you're realizing, "Holy cow, the makeup that they've put on my face cannot cover the rosacea and the skin issues that I have."

Jamie Kern Lima 15:06 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 15:06 So what do you do in that moment?

Jamie Kern Lima 15:08 Well, the first thing I did was start freaking out, right? And I-

Mel Robbins 15:11 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 15:12 ... like, (laughs) literally, I started entering this season of self-doubt where I would be live on the air, uh, anchoring the news, thinking thoughts in my head like, "Oh, am I gonna get fired? A- Are viewers changing the channel right now? Like, am I costing the, the company ratings," right? So it was this big-

Mel Robbins 15:26 Could you feel those moments when you could feel, like, the makeup not, kind of, like, disappearing? Like, there were moments when I used to be a commentator for CNN, I was premenopausal, where I could feel a hot flash coming.

Jamie Kern Lima 15:38 Mm, yeah. I didn't feel it until they said it in my ear, in, in my earpiece-

Mel Robbins 15:43 Ugh.

Jamie Kern Lima 15:43 ... and then what would start to happen was I would get so nervous and stressed-

Mel Robbins 15:47 Mm.

Jamie Kern Lima 15:47 ... out, 'cause they kept trying to cover it, um, during commercial breaks, 'cause I could feel my heart beat in my ears.

Mel Robbins 15:51 Ugh.

Jamie Kern Lima 15:51 So I rem- (laughs) what I remember is, like, anchoring the news live, and, and you're, and sometimes you have to be happy, tell this happy story, or, or you're serious, telling... And I just remember my heart beating in my ears, hoping people weren't turning the, you know, changing the channel, and-

Mel Robbins 16:04 Oh my God.

Jamie Kern Lima 16:05 ... and it started this, this thing where I, you know, would spend what... You know, it's funny. I was, I was, um, anchoring the news, and people think when you're doing that, you must have all this money, but you really don't get paid much at all. And I-

Mel Robbins 16:16 No.

Jamie Kern Lima 16:16 ... I took my little paycheck that I had

Jamie Kern Lima 16:18 and started spending it on, um, department store makeup, uh, professional artistry makeup, drugstore makeup. I couldn't find anything that worked, and I had this idea one day, like, "Oh, if I can't find anything that works for me, uh, there's probably a whole lot of other people out there that feel like makeup doesn't work for them." And it was sort of this idea where I was like-

Mel Robbins 16:37 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 16:37 ... "If I could figure out how to make something that worked for me, um, it'd help a whole lot of people." And that was my, my knowing, or this, this, this gut feeling, but then my head Mel was like, "Oh, but you got no money. You got no connections. You know no one in the beauty industry. You're unqualified." So I sat in this place, right? And I just wanna, we're talking about purpose. I had this gut feeling like I was supposed to go for this thing, but then my head was like, "Oh, but here's all the reasons why you're not qualified to do it. Plus you're in your dream job, right?" And I sat between those two. And it wasn't until I had this big, big aha moment of why I needed to do it that pushed me over the edge.

Mel Robbins 17:19 Okay. So what is the aha moment?

Jamie Kern Lima 17:21 Yeah. So, so, so I realized one day, I'm like, "This makes no sense. There are thousands of makeup companies out there. How does nothing work for me," right? Then I had this moment where I realized, I've never seen a model with bright red, bumpy skin saying, you know, selling makeup. But then, i- i- like, you always see these Photoshopped, airbrushed-

Mel Robbins 17:40 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 17:40 ... models, and I realized, Mel, like, wow, my whole life, I've actually loved those beauty commercials, and I love seeing the magazines, and, a- a- a- and I always aspired to look like them, but, but deep down inside, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough.

Mel Robbins 17:53 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 17:54 And I had this moment, I was literally on the news set when this happened, where I was like, "Wait a minute. What if it's not just about launching a makeup product?" Like, like, "What if I could actually figure out how to do it?" Which I had no idea how, and I had no money. It was like, "What if could actually launch a product that works for me, and what if I actually put real people as models, like every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge? What if I use them as models, call them beautiful, and mean it, for every little kid out there who's about to start doubting themselves, a- a- and, and every grown woman who still does?" And that deep source of pain from, from, from how I was feeling not enough-...and what could I do about it. That, in my opinion, is one of the strongest ways to find your purpose. It's, it's what has just destroyed you or hurt you that you've maybe made it through-

Mel Robbins 18:45 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 18:46 ...and how can you now use that making it through to help someone who's going through it?

Mel Robbins 18:52 Okay. (laughs) That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose, Jamie Kern Lima. So again, I like to unpack these things-

Jamie Kern Lima 19:02 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 19:02 ...to make sure, this is a, this is a... I always say this is not just a listening podcast, it's a doing podcast. And I wanna make sure nobody's left behind.

Jamie Kern Lima 19:12 Yes.

Mel Robbins 19:12 And there was billions of dollars worth of wisdom that you just dropped, and so I wanna try to unpack it for anybody that is listening to this, and you have this sense that you're made for more.

Jamie Kern Lima 19:24 Yes.

Mel Robbins 19:25 So one of the things that I heard is look in your life and see what problems or frustrations or things that you're struggling with that feel like a setback. And Jamie gave you the example of the rosacea on her skin and her inability to find something that actually could help her solve this issue of being able to cover it up so that she could do her dream job. And that setback is a setup for something new. And then get out of your own sort of selfish or self-loathing or the self-excuses and the self-pity, and remind yourself that there are eight billion people on this planet now. There are other people that are dealing with this.

Jamie Kern Lima 20:08 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 20:08 And that if you can figure out how to put your energy into making this better for yourself, and you bring other people into the fold with you, you now have something that's worth working on-

Jamie Kern Lima 20:22 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 20:22 ...because it helps you, and it's gonna help other people. And I also wanna point something out that Jamie will not tell you, but I sure as hell will, and that is that this was about 14 or 15 years ago, so we're talking 2007, 2008, correct?

Jamie Kern Lima 20:40 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 20:41 In my opinion, Jamie Kern Lima is the reason why we have this real beauty movement. There always has to be the first person-

Jamie Kern Lima 20:53 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 20:53 ...and she was it. So when you look around the, the internet and social media, and you see people doing naked faces, that was not something people did in 2007. It was all airbrush. It was all perfection. That was the beauty standard. There were no plus size or curvy models.

Jamie Kern Lima 21:10 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 21:10 That was not a thing back then. And so you've got a woman who is sitting in Seattle, who has no experience and no money deciding that she is going to not only figure out how to create a makeup line for people who have issues with their skin, but that she's going to do something nobody has ever done, which is put real normal people, like you and me, into her campaigns, when she finally gets this figured out, and she's gonna show people what her skin actually looks like in order to sell it. I mean, that was a revolutionary idea. She was the first, and I'm telling you this because you could be the first. You have something inside of you that is a problem, something that you can solve, and you could be the first to change the way that people think about an issue. And so Jamie, let's pick up the story because how do you go from this aha moment, like, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," to doing something?

Jamie Kern Lima 22:17 Yes.

Mel Robbins 22:17 'Cause I think some of us have aha moments, right?

Jamie Kern Lima 22:19 Yep, and then we doubt 'em.

Mel Robbins 22:20 But we don't do anything. (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 22:21 Yes, 'cause we doubt 'em, we doubt 'em.

Mel Robbins 22:23 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 22:23 We think, like, "Oh, someone's already done it."

Mel Robbins 22:25 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 22:26 Or, "Oh," whatever.

Jamie Kern Lima 22:27 First of all, if you're out there right now, and you think, oh, you have an idea or, or a way you wanna show up in the world, or, or, or someone else you, you know, uh, uh, you wanna help, but you think, "Oh, someone's already done it," literally there's only one of you in the entire universe, which by definition means no one has ever done it the way you're gonna do it.

Mel Robbins 22:42 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 22:42 So when I launched this-

Mel Robbins 22:44 Say that again, Jamie, for the people-

Jamie Kern Lima 22:46 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 22:46 ...that are like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kids, calm down. Uh, I'm... Wait, Jamie just said something. I was doing my dishes."

Jamie Kern Lima 22:52 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 22:52 "Say that again." Talk about the fact that this matters.

Jamie Kern Lima 22:56 This is huge because I think the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of things is we think, "Oh, someone's already done it."

Mel Robbins 23:02 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 23:02 "Someone's already done it before, you know, who must be smarter than me or more talented or more whatever it is than me." And, and what I have learned and then proven, and I wanna tell you too about... Ah, I'm gonna get so excited.

Mel Robbins 23:15 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 23:15 Now because... No. When you do this thing, like, don't be shocked then when there's millions and millions of rejections, and people don't get it, right? Um, uh, uh, because it's never been done before, right?

Mel Robbins 23:25 Oh, yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 23:25 'Cause there's only one of you. There's only one of you doing it the way you're gonna do it. But, but just to recap that, there is literally only one of you in the entire universe, right? And so if you are gonna show up to this world authentic, that means whatever you do, if it's authentic to you, it's actually, by definition, it's never been done before.

Mel Robbins 23:45 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 23:45 Right? And so when you show up that way, don't be surprised if not everyone gets it right away, or, you know, in my case, all the experts I put on pedestals all said no. That this idea of, of, of how I wanted to, um, connect with women, they thought it wouldn't work, and they thought I wouldn't therefore make them any money. Um-

Mel Robbins 24:05 So but can I ask you a question real quick?

Jamie Kern Lima 24:07 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 24:07 How did you go from the aha-

Jamie Kern Lima 24:09 Yes.

Mel Robbins 24:10 ...to starting?

Jamie Kern Lima 24:11 Yes.

Mel Robbins 24:11 So what did that look like? Like 'cause-

Jamie Kern Lima 24:13 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 24:13 ...I think, like, if you're in the space where, you know, y-

Mel Robbins 24:17 let's just use an example. You've never actually... You don't know the fir- You, you, you have this thing about catering-

Jamie Kern Lima 24:24 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 24:24 ...that you just can't get it outta your head. You wanna do these events. You wanna... You've never actually done this 'cause you had never-

Jamie Kern Lima 24:32 Yes.

Mel Robbins 24:33 ...done anything with makeup.

Jamie Kern Lima 24:34 Yep.

Mel Robbins 24:34 You had no idea what you were doing.

Jamie Kern Lima 24:36 Yep.

Mel Robbins 24:36 You have an idea.And you have an a-ha moment.

Jamie Kern Lima 24:40 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 24:40 What was the first thing that you did to start to make this real?

Jamie Kern Lima 24:45 So leaning on that why I had to do it-

Mel Robbins 24:48 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 24:48 ... and why it felt like it was gonna be part of my purpose-

Mel Robbins 24:50 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 24:51 ... was a big thing that helped me actually take the risk, quit my job, and-

Mel Robbins 24:55 Wait, you quit your job because you had an a-ha moment?

Jamie Kern Lima 24:58 Yeah. It was deep. I was like, "If I had all of-"

Mel Robbins 25:00 What did it feel like?

Jamie Kern Lima 25:02 It felt like, um... It felt like if I didn't do it, I would wake up the rest of my life with this pain in my gut, this longing knowing I was created for more. Um, it felt like if I didn't do it, I would have the pain of regret.

Mel Robbins 25:19 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 25:19 And if I did do it, I might have the pain of failure, and maybe the pain of embarrassment, and then maybe the pain of, "Oh, wow, that wasn't... That doesn't feel like it went how I thought it was." You know, I knew it was this big risk.

Mel Robbins 25:31 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 25:31 I knew I was leaving what I thought was my dream job, um-

Mel Robbins 25:35 Why did you have to quit your job? Just curious.

Jamie Kern Lima 25:37 It was literally from day one. I was all in. Like, it was... Uh, I dove all in. I knew if I was gonna do this, I needed to just go all in on it. Um, and, you know, I s- I started... I do not recommend this, but I started working, like, 100-hour weeks from the beginning. I was so freaking passionate about it. Like, I couldn't stop thinking about, "What if I can actually figure this out? What if I can literally..." 'Cause it was... it, it became a big dream.

Mel Robbins 26:04 So did you have any savings? Like, did you have a little bit of savings?

Jamie Kern Lima 26:06 Very little savings.

Mel Robbins 26:07 'Cause you didn't pay yourself for the first three years that you did this.

Jamie Kern Lima 26:10 First three years. So basically, my husband and I wrote this business plan, right?

Mel Robbins 26:14 Yep.

Jamie Kern Lima 26:14 Um, quit our jobs, dove all in in our living room. We poured all of our savings into it. I thought, Mel... And this is, this is for someone watching us right now, I know this. I thought, "If I can figure the product out, it's gonna be huge."

Mel Robbins 26:29 Right.

Jamie Kern Lima 26:29 And then, I realized, like, "Oh, being an entrepreneur or, or, or launching a dream is not always that easy." We put every penny we had into it, and I, uh, uh... Once we actually created a product by... And we were scrappy. If you wanna know how-

Mel Robbins 26:42 And how did you create a product? Like, were you in your kitchen-

Jamie Kern Lima 26:44 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 26:44 ... buying stuff at the grocery store? Or how does this even work?

Jamie Kern Lima 26:47 Okay. So, no, so... (laughs) So first, um, I love that, you know, technology is right there, right? So, so researching how are makeup formulations made? Who makes them? What are the FDA regulatory compliance? All the unsexy stuff I know nothing about, just diving into the research phase of, "How does this happen?" And then, what I learned is that, uh, manufacturers are our makeup companies' closest held secrets, right? Like, closest held secrets. They won't disclose who they work with.

Mel Robbins 27:15 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 27:15 But a lot of these big manufacturers work with all the top brands that you see, or a handful of them.

Mel Robbins 27:20 Gotcha.

Jamie Kern Lima 27:21 So I started-

Mel Robbins 27:21 So, so are you saying that all of the brands and top brands that you see are basically manufactured by a handful of companies?

Jamie Kern Lima 27:29 Yes.

Mel Robbins 27:29 Okay, got it.

Jamie Kern Lima 27:29 Handful of companies, and then some do it in-house as well.

Mel Robbins 27:32 Gotcha.

Jamie Kern Lima 27:32 Um, so what I did was scrappy. I walked into a Sephora. I wrote down the name of every single brand in there.

Mel Robbins 27:39 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 27:39 Went home. You know, I had no money, right? Cold call every single brand and say, like, "Oh, um, I'm looking for a really great manufacturer. Could you let me know who you manufacture..." And then they hang up on me. You know what I mean? One after another, after another, after another. And I got this really small brand in a totally different kind of positioning, where the girl who answered said, "Oh, here's who we use. They're in New York City." Blah, blah, blah. So that was my first manufacturer. Reached out to them, had a meeting in person, uh, had no money, poured this idea out to them. They took a, a risk making me samples, uh, and that's how it started, was just really being scrappy, um, and, and trying to figure it out. All of our money had went into, uh, the product development formula and-

Mel Robbins 28:21 Yep.

Jamie Kern Lima 28:21 ... the advisory board of the product.

Mel Robbins 28:23 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 28:23 And I thought, "Okay, now we have a product that works for me," right? This was after hundreds of formula iterations. I thought that was gonna be it.

Mel Robbins 28:31 So is this, like, year one or year two? Like, how long did this take?

Jamie Kern Lima 28:34 Yeah, it took a, a good first year-

Mel Robbins 28:36 Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 28:36 ... to get that product. And then, what I started doing was sending it to everyone I thought was just gonna believe in me instantly. So I sent it to Sephora and, and Ulta Beauty and all the department stores and all of the online retailers. QVC, which is, you know, live television shopping channel. And I thought, "Oh my gosh, this is gonna be huge." Every single one of them said no

Jamie Kern Lima 28:58 after no, after no, after no. And to your point, it became three years of not being able to pay myself, three years of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of nos, of crying myself to sleep at night. Um-

Mel Robbins 29:09 Were you and your husband, like, fighting like crazy? Like, "You should go back to work. You should... But why did we do that?" Like, were you, like, doing that?

Jamie Kern Lima 29:14 You... You wanna know what it was?

Mel Robbins 29:15 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 29:15 We still believed in it, but we weren't sure how we were gonna make it. It was, like, friends and family that were like, "Uh, wait, you quit your job? Are you sure you should have quit your job?" Or, "Wait, you still haven't made any money? Like, it's been three years." Right? So you hear all of this... The voices get so loud.

Mel Robbins 29:32 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 29:32 Um, the loudest though were m- my own self-doubt. You know, sometimes we take a chance and go for something 'cause our gut is telling us to do it. And then all of a sudden, you face all this opposition and you start to question, "Is my gut wrong? Is my knowing wrong?" And there were so many times where I would literally get this... another brutal no from, you know, Sephora or QVC or whoever it was, and I would just literally cry myself to sleep. Um, I would pray about it and be like, "God, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this, but nothing is going right."

Mel Robbins 30:05 So let's just pause in that moment, because I get a lot of questions from listeners who... because of the things that have happened in their past-

Jamie Kern Lima 30:16 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 30:17 ... they don't know how to trust their intuition.

Jamie Kern Lima 30:19 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 30:20 And I get a lot of questions about decision-making and how to truly, in a situation like this, where you are burning through your entire life savings-

Jamie Kern Lima 30:31 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 30:32 You have left your dream job. You have gotten no after no, after no, after no, after no.How do you stay connected to your intuition-

Jamie Kern Lima 30:46 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 30:46 ... in a situation like that?

Jamie Kern Lima 30:47 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 30:48 What, what tool do you have, or what advice can you give to somebody who's having trouble hearing what the right decision is-

Jamie Kern Lima 30:57 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 30:57 ... in that kind of situation?

Jamie Kern Lima 30:59 Yeah. So, I think that intuition is like a muscle that we build-

Mel Robbins 31:04 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 31:05 ... um, over time, and I think it's a lifelong journey that... you know, to really learning how to hear it and to trust it. And one of the greatest tools, I think, is to, uh, go back. Think back to times in your life where maybe you had this gut feeling to do something and everyone around you said, "Don't do it," so you listened to them, you didn't trust yourself, and then think about what happened, right? And then similarly, go back to a time where everyone was like, "Oh, uh-uh, no way, no way," and you're like, "But I love him. I don't think he's lying."

Mel Robbins 31:36 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 31:36 "I think his phone really did break five times every weekend."

Mel Robbins 31:41 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 31:41 "He didn't disappear, his phone..." Like, right? Think about, like, that situation when everyone was telling you something and, and, and you didn't listen, or even your gut was telling you, right? And you didn't listen. And you think back to those times, and you start to develop pattern recognition-

Mel Robbins 31:56 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 31:57 ... um, of how it felt in moments in your life when you trusted yourself or didn't and what happened, and you get better attune to what that feels like. So-

Mel Robbins 32:08 What does it feel like for you-

Jamie Kern Lima 32:10 (sighs) Feel-

Mel Robbins 32:10 ... in both situations? Like, can you describe what it feels like for you when you're like, "Yep, nope, that's a no."

Jamie Kern Lima 32:15 Yes.

Mel Robbins 32:15 And what does it feel like for you when you're like, "I'm sticking with this"?

Jamie Kern Lima 32:18 Yeah. S- Often, it's the tiniest of feelings in my gut, right? Some people describe it as, like, a still, small voice. I pray about it. I ask God to give me the answers, and I try to live the answers.

Mel Robbins 32:29 Do you feel the answers that God gives you? Like, is that what happens for you when you do this?

Jamie Kern Lima 32:33 Like, right now, when I look at you, right?

Mel Robbins 32:35 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 32:35 Like, I know you're a beautiful soul, right? I just know it. You know it. You feel it. Like, I feel like you have good... Like, you're good. You know what I mean?

Mel Robbins 32:44 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 32:44 It's a feeling, right? And, and we get these feelings, but so much around us is so loud-

Mel Robbins 32:51 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 32:51 ... you know? And we just learn over time. And by the way, not to go... This could be a whole other episode, but especially as women from the time we're young, we learn not to trust ourselves. We, we, we walk into our parents fighting, and we go, "Is everything okay?" They're like, "Everything's great. Everything's great." Right? To protect us, we start to learn to doubt ourselves.

Mel Robbins 33:12 You're like, "Bologna."

Jamie Kern Lima 33:12 Right?

Mel Robbins 33:13 Yep, uh-huh.

Jamie Kern Lima 33:13 But you know, or, you know, especially as young girls, you learn to make decisions by consensus-

Mel Robbins 33:18 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 33:19 ... often with your friends and y-

Mel Robbins 33:20 Or making other people happy.

Jamie Kern Lima 33:21 And making other people happy. Uh, uh, people-pleasing. We're rewarded for, for, for pleasing everyone else and, and almost ignoring what we feel. So, so if you're someone who's an adult right now going, "I don't even know how to hear my own gut or trust myself," that's why (laughs) .

Mel Robbins 33:38 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 33:38 We've been trained out of learning how to do it, right? So, it takes intentionality and really, um, deciding, "Oh, you know what? I'm gonna put in some time, even if it's five minutes a day, just to thinking about moments in my life where I trusted myself, where I didn't." Um, and if you don't remember any of them, start now.

Mel Robbins 33:57 You know what you just inspired me to think about?

Jamie Kern Lima 33:59 Hmm?

Mel Robbins 34:01 I don't even know if it's possible to do this, but imagine if you could go through the rest of today and only make decisions that align with what you truly want.

Jamie Kern Lima 34:15 Hmm, yes.

Mel Robbins 34:16 If you don't wanna go to that party tonight, don't go. If a friend asks you something and you feel obligated, out of guilt, to lend them that thing, don't actually lend them the thing.

Jamie Kern Lima 34:29 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 34:29 Eat what you wanna eat tonight for dinner. Don't just go to wherever your friends wanna go. Like, I think that would be a real eye-opening experiment if you were to do that.

Jamie Kern Lima 34:39 And you start building that muscle, right? And the more you do that... Some, some people don't even pay attention to what they actually want to eat for dinner. They're just like, "What sounds good to everyone?" But to your point, when you start paying attention-

Mel Robbins 34:50 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 34:50 ... then you also start building that knowing of hearing your own knowing.

Mel Robbins 34:54 Do you think it's possible to discover your unique purpose in life if you are not connected and listening to your intention? And int- intuition, I mean.

Jamie Kern Lima 35:07 And your own intuition. Here's how I think it's po- I think it's way more likely, and, and, and you're gonna actually discover more than one purpose often-

Mel Robbins 35:16 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 35:16 ... if you're really tuned in to your intuition and, and, and you're intentional about it. But what I'll say for someone who feels like they can't hear their gut but they still wanna find their purpose, um,

Jamie Kern Lima 35:28 uh, a friend of mine, Rory Vaden, says that you're, you're, you're best positioned to serve the person you once were, right? Um, uh, Trent Shelton, our friend, says, says, "One day, the things you're going through right now will be the things you made it through."

Mel Robbins 35:44 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 35:45 And what I would say to someone listening right now is look at something in the past that has broken your heart, that has caused you grief, that has been something, uh, that you care deeply about, whether it's positive-

Mel Robbins 35:58 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 35:58 ... or negative, that you've gone through, something you care deeply about, um, or maybe pain you've gone through, something you have made it through. I believe often when we go through the hardest times in our life-

Mel Robbins 36:13 Yep.

Jamie Kern Lima 36:13 ... it's for one of two reasons.

Mel Robbins 36:14 What are they?

Jamie Kern Lima 36:15 It is to either equip us with the strength we need to carry the weight of our success that's to come-

Mel Robbins 36:22 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 36:22 ... to carry the weight of our purpose that's to come, or we've gone through these horrible, unspeakable times, things we would never want to happen to us again in our life because we're actually gonna get our greatest source of fulfillment and purpose by one day helping someone else who's going through them. And-

Mel Robbins 36:41 I love that saying that you're best equipped to help the person you used to be.

Jamie Kern Lima 36:46 Yes, yes.Yes.

Mel Robbins 36:48 So, let's go to that moment, Jaime. You're three years in.

Jamie Kern Lima 36:52 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 36:52 You've burned through the money.

Jamie Kern Lima 36:53 Yes.

Mel Robbins 36:54 You have been told no by

Mel Robbins 36:56 everybody. And even though you have leveraged all of the steps that were ordered along the way, and like an amazing Denny's waitress-

Jamie Kern Lima 37:06 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 37:06 ... you can talk to anybody.

Jamie Kern Lima 37:07 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 37:08 You can hustle. You can figure it out.

Jamie Kern Lima 37:10 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 37:12 You have nothing but closed doors in front of you-

Jamie Kern Lima 37:14 Yes.

Mel Robbins 37:14 ... and a ton of product, and no money.

Jamie Kern Lima 37:16 Yes.

Mel Robbins 37:16 What is the turning point?

Jamie Kern Lima 37:17 Yes.

Mel Robbins 37:18 Why did you not give up?

Jamie Kern Lima 37:20 Yeah. So, two big things happened. The first, uh, was in the form of a crazy painful rejection. So, I thought, Mel, um... So, we got a call from a big potential investor.

Mel Robbins 37:31 Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 37:31 And very famous for launching all these sort of unknown brands and making them big products we all buy in grocery stores. And, you know, and I thought... And they'd gotten a hold of our product. And I thought, like, "Oh, if they invest, then, A, I'm not going to go bankrupt. B, like, they could... We can leverage their, their, their clout to get in these stores that keep telling me no."

Mel Robbins 37:49 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 37:49 Like, I had this whole scenario planned out that was like this Pretty Woman moment, right? Where I was like, "Oh, he's gonna save the day." And so we started taking meeting after meeting, uh, and, and we... It got down to the final meeting with this huge investment firm. And, uh, it was in person. My husband and I actually flew to the meeting, and the head guy was about three feet from me.

Mel Robbins 38:10 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 38:10 And his whole team was there, who was awesome. I had just presented our whole future product pipeline. And he says, "You know, you should be so proud of this product you're created, you've created. It's really, really good. Uh, but it's a no. We're gonna pass on investing in IT Cosmetics." And I was like, "Okay. Can you tell me why?" Because I'm so used to hearing no.

Mel Robbins 38:30 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 38:30 And I was like, "Okay." Even though, really, I was devastated, but...

Mel Robbins 38:34 Well, yeah, 'cause they just led you on, and you just went through it. And this was supposed to be the meeting where they're like, "Let's do this."

Jamie Kern Lima 38:39 And I was so hopeful, and I was so desperate.

Mel Robbins 38:42 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 38:42 And, um, he says... He got very quiet, and he says to me, "Do you want to know..." You know, "Do..." Or, uh... I said, I said, "Can you tell me why?" And he says to me, "Do you want me to be, uh, really honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he got really quiet. And he's like three feet from me in person, and he says, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." And when he said that to me, and this is why it was such a big moment for me, when he said that to me, first of all, a lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt, like fi- m- remember it flooding my body all at once. When I looked at him, I actually felt no anger toward him. I felt like I was almost, like, staring my own fear, um, straight in the eye. But when he said those words to me, Mel, and this is what... This is... When we talk about purpose and intuition. He said, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." The second he said that, I felt this feeling in my gut, like I can remember it like it was yesterday. This, like, strong feeling that said, "He's wrong." Like, I felt it, right? And I didn't know how I was gonna prove it, but I felt that feeling. And what I realized later when I look back at that moment, this guy, this dude gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing in that moment. In that moment. And I believe every one of us has had someone tell us we're not the right fit, or no, or, "You don't have what it takes." Sometimes we're the ones telling ourselves that.

Mel Robbins 40:09 "I don't love you anymore."

Jamie Kern Lima 40:10 Yes. Yes, right? But if, if you get still and you learn to hear your knowing, I believe which one you listen to, if you listen to the no, all the nos, all the rejections, all the self-doubt, or you get still and listen to you- your knowing, whether that's from your own intuition, from your creator, from the universe, whatever speaks to you, but we all have it. We all have it. And I believe our, our, our, our life and our purpose (laughs) and, and our entire destiny comes down to which one we listen to. Do you listen to the no or do you listen to the knowing?

Mel Robbins 40:45 Okay. I promised a masterclass. That right there is worth a billion dollars. In life, are you gonna listen to the no or are you gonna listen to the knowing inside of you? That's it.

Jamie Kern Lima 41:08 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 41:09 As somebody who loves you and as your friend, when you shared that story with me and hearing you tell it again right now, I literally go, "I'm gonna kill that motherfucker."

Jamie Kern Lima 41:20 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 41:20 I, I go... I have that... My knowing goes-

Jamie Kern Lima 41:23 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 41:25 ... "Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think... Okay. Okay."

Jamie Kern Lima 41:29 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 41:29 "Okay. Let me, let me show you." Like, it's that, like, I get that sort of mojo thing going when somebody says no like that, at a moment like that. It's like, "I'll show you."

Jamie Kern Lima 41:39 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 41:40 And I guess I just got, in this moment, sort of this wake-up call that my knowing often feels like, "I'll show you."

Jamie Kern Lima 41:48 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 41:49 "You missed out. You'll be sorry." What does yours sound like?

Jamie Kern Lima 41:53 And it's almost always true. That's almost always true, right? So-

Mel Robbins 41:57 What does yours sound like? So is yours like, "Mm," or is it more of, like-

Jamie Kern Lima 42:01 I mean, in that case, I was devastated and at the same time had this strong... It's, it was just a peace. Honestly, in that moment, it was a peace, "He's wrong," and that didn't make sense in my head. Why? 'Cause I had had three years of hundreds of rejections. And this is the thing, right? Uh, Jay-Z says, "The genius thing we did was we didn't give up."

Mel Robbins 42:21 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 42:21 That's, like, one of my favorite quotes of his. In that moment, everything told me to give up, Mel. I mean, it was hundreds of rejections. And now, it felt... Well, it felt like my last hope of desperation told me something totally different. "No, because not only do I not believe in anything you're doing necessarily, but I actually just think you're personally not the right fit. Like, women just won't buy makeup from..." It was just like, oh my gosh. It was like all of these nos everywhere. And, and, and I wanna share that because...You know, it's easy for someone to go, "Oh, wow, she built a billion-dollar company. She must've just got lucky," or maybe she just had so many connections or... We always think, e- but, but really what it comes down to sometimes, in this case, that big moment for me, do you listen to the nos or do you listen to the knowing, right?

Mel Robbins 43:06 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 43:06 And, and, and I made that decision that day to trust the knowing, to trust myself. I kept feeling like I was supposed to keep going. I didn't know how, right? And-

Mel Robbins 43:17 What do you do when you don't even

Mel Robbins 43:18 know the next step? So you got this kind of, you know, jerk who's like-

Jamie Kern Lima 43:22 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 43:22 ... "Yeah, they're not gonna buy it because of your body type," and this, that, and the other thing. You're like-

Jamie Kern Lima 43:25 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 43:26 ... "Yeah, you're wrong, motherfucker."

Jamie Kern Lima 43:27 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 43:27 But what do you do next?

Jamie Kern Lima 43:28 And, and, uh, so the next right step, the next thing that feels right when you can't even see how the heck it's gonna work out.

Mel Robbins 43:33 How, well, how do you even determine what the next right step is?

Jamie Kern Lima 43:36 Yeah, you just get... For me, I just get still. I pray. I pray.

Mel Robbins 43:39 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 43:39 You know that.

Mel Robbins 43:40 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 43:40 I pray, uh, and I just... But whether for you, you know, listening it's prayer or it's the universe or-

Mel Robbins 43:46 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 43:46 ... or your intuition, when you get still, all you can do is try to listen, right? And, and try to live that answer, whatever it is, and take that next right step, and I just felt. I just had this knowing I was supposed to keep going and... Even when it didn't make sense and, and, you know, I remember crying myself to sleep. I remember writing in my journal, um, "Know your why, then fly, girl, fly."

Mel Robbins 44:10 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 44:10 And I read those words every day till I didn't need the reminder. Um, I would google stories of people that had gone through thousands of rejections who no one would know that they went through them 'cause they're so successful today or... You know, and I just kept trying to sort of build this toolbox of things I could lean on. Um, but I-

Mel Robbins 44:28 And how did, how did QVC come about? Because-

Jamie Kern Lima 44:31 Oh, yeah.

Mel Robbins 44:32 ... you

Mel Robbins 44:34 ha- built IT Cosmetics and it became, because of you, the most successful beauty brand on all of QVC.

Jamie Kern Lima 44:42 Yes.

Mel Robbins 44:42 You did over a thousand appearances.

Jamie Kern Lima 44:45 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 44:45 So how did you even get onto QVC? Because that, in and of itself, is no small feat.

Jamie Kern Lima 44:52 Yeah. Well, you know, their, their head guy o- of beauty, who's like a legend, had said no to me many times, "No, you're not the right fit," uh, and I happened to be at this, this big beauty expo.

Mel Robbins 45:03 And was this before or after this guy was like, "No, we're not investing"?

Jamie Kern Lima 45:06 After.

Mel Robbins 45:06 After?

Jamie Kern Lima 45:06 After.

Mel Robbins 45:07 So she has now gotten three years of nos.

Jamie Kern Lima 45:10 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 45:10 They are almost out of money. Her intuition is knowing that she's gonna fly, girl, fly.

Jamie Kern Lima 45:17 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 45:17 So she is still showing up to a beauty expo-

Jamie Kern Lima 45:20 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 45:20 ... where, I want you to understand, in the business world, it's like going to a convention where everybody that you have ever fooled around with, who has then broken up with you, is attending.

Jamie Kern Lima 45:34 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 45:34 So everybody that has said no to her-

Jamie Kern Lima 45:38 Yes. Yes.

Mel Robbins 45:38 ... you know, she walks in and it's like, "Oh, here's this chick again."

Jamie Kern Lima 45:41 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 45:41 The IT chick, right?

Jamie Kern Lima 45:42 Yep. Yep.

Mel Robbins 45:42 The IT cosmetics person that has been sending me this stuff and calling me and we have told her, "No, do not make eye contact." So you are now at-

Jamie Kern Lima 45:50 I love it (laughs) .

Mel Robbins 45:52 ... this thing.

Jamie Kern Lima 45:52 This describes it exactly.

Mel Robbins 45:54 Yes!

Jamie Kern Lima 45:54 Everyone you fooled around with who broke up with you and they're like, "Oh, don't make eye contact."

Mel Robbins 45:57 Yeah, oh God-

Jamie Kern Lima 45:58 It's that.

Mel Robbins 45:58 ... this chick again.

Jamie Kern Lima 45:59 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 45:59 With the, with the skin, with the... Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 46:01 Yep. (laughs)

Mel Robbins 46:01 So you're at this thing.

Jamie Kern Lima 46:03 Yes.

Mel Robbins 46:03 You've been told no by the big, big, big, big, big person. It's been three years, so we're talking like 2011, 2012-ish. What do you do?

Jamie Kern Lima 46:12 So I, uh... So you, you get this three-foot table, right? It's a huge convention. There's 6,000 women at this convention.

Mel Robbins 46:19 Wow.

Jamie Kern Lima 46:19 They're walking up and down and it's every beauty brand in the world and-

Mel Robbins 46:23 Are they buying it for their stores or...

Jamie Kern Lima 46:24 No, so what it is, it's, it was this big, um, Cosmetic Executive Women Awards Show.

Mel Robbins 46:28 Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 46:29 And why you're there is you are... You get a three-foot table, you're demonstrating your product, you're hoping that someone who walks by either wants to carry your product in their stores-

Mel Robbins 46:37 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 46:37 ... or all the press is there.

Mel Robbins 46:39 Right.

Jamie Kern Lima 46:39 They cover your product or there's also... You can win some big award. So I'm there and, and then all the brands you can imagine, right, are there. And there's 6,000 women walking. And when I got there, I saw QVC had this huge booth in the background. And you're not allowed to leave your table, right? And I couldn't afford to get kicked out, um, but I just kept having this feeling like, "Okay, I've called them a million times. They've told me no forever, but I've never, like, met anyone in person," right? So I kept trying to sneak away from my table and every time I got over there, the buyers would, would be mobbed with people.

Mel Robbins 47:13 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 47:13 I eventually got over there, made my way to one of the buyers, introduced myself, poured my heart out. Like was s-... I remember sweat just dripping through my clothes 'cause I was freaking out, down to no money.

Mel Robbins 47:24 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 47:24 Um, I'll cut a real long story short, but she gave me her card, um, and, uh, you know, it's like when someone says, "Oh, DM me on Instagram." You don't know if they mean- they really-

Mel Robbins 47:35 Right.

Jamie Kern Lima 47:35 ... mean it. Then you're on your Instagram checking your DMs and you're like, "Oh, they still haven't replied," and I thought, "Is that what it's gonna be like?" But she actually meant it. And I, I flew out, had a meeting with her. We got a yes, my first big yes for one shot on QVC. And what it meant, Mel, was I was gonna get this 10-minute segment live on the air, live in front of 100 million homes, and I either had to sell enough product to hit their sales goal-

Mel Robbins 48:02 Yep.

Jamie Kern Lima 48:02 ... um, or not come back. We were only doing one to two orders a day on our website.

Mel Robbins 48:08 Okay. (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 48:08 And-

Mel Robbins 48:09 One to two orders a day everybody.

Jamie Kern Lima 48:12 Yep.

Mel Robbins 48:13 After-

Jamie Kern Lima 48:14 Yep. Yep.

Narrator 48:15 Four years.

Mel Robbins 48:15 ... almost four... Yeah, three years of this.

Jamie Kern Lima 48:17 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mel Robbins 48:18 How... This is like-

Jamie Kern Lima 48:19 And barely keeping the lights on. Um-

Mel Robbins 48:21 And so now you get this... You get your shot.

Jamie Kern Lima 48:23 I get my shot.

Mel Robbins 48:23 Like there are those moments in life.

Jamie Kern Lima 48:25 Yes.

Mel Robbins 48:26 You're at bat.

Jamie Kern Lima 48:27 Yep.

Mel Robbins 48:29 And you gotta be ready for those.

Jamie Kern Lima 48:31 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 48:31 And so put us right there with you. What happened?

Jamie Kern Lima 48:36 Yeah. What happened was I was about to learn

Jamie Kern Lima 48:39 one of the greatest life lessons I've ever learned to this day, um, and h- here's what I mean by that. So I found out I get one shot and, uh, then I learn it's consignment, which means they... Uh, so first of all, I had to sell over 6,000 units of our concealer in this 10-minute window to hit their sales goal.... or not come back, which was about, like, 130,000, $140,000 of product in a ten-minute window.

Mel Robbins 49:04 I also wanna point out to everybody, that's ten years of sales on her website at the current-

Jamie Kern Lima 49:11 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 49:11 ... amount. So sh- in ten minutes, everybody-

Jamie Kern Lima 49:15 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 49:15 ... she, on live television-

Jamie Kern Lima 49:16 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 49:17 ... has to move ten years worth of volume she was selling on her website at that time.

Jamie Kern Lima 49:22 In one sho- uh, one-

Mel Robbins 49:23 In one shot.

Jamie Kern Lima 49:24 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 49:24 And she'd never done this before. I realize you're a television anchor, but this is a totally different thing.

Jamie Kern Lima 49:28 Well, QVC, it's... I mean, you know, it's... unlike stores where you can walk in and there's thousands of products in one s- space, their one minute of airtime can get one product. So, you're competing with the volume of, like, Apple iPhone or Dyson vacuum. You have to hit these high sales goals.

Mel Robbins 49:45 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 49:46 And what I quickly learned was the offer was consignment, which meant I wasn't guaranteed to be paid for it. I had to figure out, um, how to get a loan to cover the cost of manufacturing, uh, 6,000 units of product, shipping it in, going through legal, going through QC, going through all of it. And then I learned if I go on air and it doesn't sell, I have to take it all back-

Mel Robbins 50:07 Oh my God.

Jamie Kern Lima 50:08 ... and therefore go out of business, right? So you should never ever ever accept a purchase order you can't afford to lose, uh, ever. But at this point, it was like, "I think I'm... uh, I don't know what else to do."

Mel Robbins 50:19 This is it.

Jamie Kern Lima 50:19 "This is it."

Mel Robbins 50:19 This is the shot.

Jamie Kern Lima 50:20 This is it. And so here's what happened. We went to 22 banks. Uh, they all said no, and they probably should have. Um, the 23rd bank, which was California Bank and Trust, and, uh, uh, gave us, uh, a loan that covered our very first, um, purchase order and a little bit more. So I took the little bit more. We hired third-party consultants. I'm like, "I'm going all in. I wanna do the best ten minutes-

Mel Robbins 50:44 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 50:44 ... I could possibly do. I, I wanna, I wanna have no regrets." And they all told me the same thing.

Mel Robbins 50:50 Which is?

Jamie Kern Lima 50:50 Which is, "If you want a chance at making it, here's what you need to do. You need to use this type of model to demonstrate your product, which is flawless skin, early 20s, all the same skin tone." And I'm like, "Okay. But that's inauthentic. That's not why I'm building this brand." I'm like, "What if I put models in their 70s and then... uh, and someone with hyperpigmentation and someone with acne and, and what if I take my own makeup off on national TV and I could prove live how the product works?" And they were mortified. And here's the thing, Mel. They wanted me to win. Like, they were giving me the best advice that they know how. And I-

Mel Robbins 51:29 This had never been done. So where... is this 2011?

Jamie Kern Lima 51:32 This is 2010. Yeah, end of 2010.

Mel Robbins 51:34 So 2010, everybody.

Jamie Kern Lima 51:35 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 51:35 So this was not something people did.

Jamie Kern Lima 51:37 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 51:37 Like, we're talking about the person who changed the industry.

Jamie Kern Lima 51:41 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 51:41 Right here, and this is the moment you're hearing it. And everybody that were the, quote, experts-

Jamie Kern Lima 51:47 Yes.

Mel Robbins 51:47 ... were saying no, and this goes back to one of the major takeaways that you are learning from our professor of purpose, Jamie Kern Lima, and that is, there's a huge difference between a no and a knowing.

Jamie Kern Lima 51:57 Mm. Yeah.

Mel Robbins 51:58 And if you're-

Jamie Kern Lima 51:59 So true.

Mel Robbins 51:59 ... the only you that will ever exist, your knowing is the unique difference that you're gonna make in this world.

Jamie Kern Lima 52:09 Yes.

Mel Robbins 52:09 And in this moment, with one shot to go, everything on the line, a loan from one out of 23 banks that was willing, she said, "No way" to the fricking experts, and she listened to her knowing. So, when you walked into QVC with normal

Mel Robbins 52:29 human beings-

Jamie Kern Lima 52:30 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 52:31 ... no flawless models, no one with perfect skin, all ages, all body types-

Jamie Kern Lima 52:37 Yup. Yup.

Mel Robbins 52:37 ... did people say, "Wait, you can't take them on the air," or was there any... like, were people like, "Oh, h- she's g-... this is, this is gonna be terrible"? Like, what was that like when you walked in? Did they even know you were gonna take your makeup off?

Jamie Kern Lima 52:48 Um, I let them... yeah, I let them know I wanted to, and QVC was great. You know? The... here's the thing about QVC, is, like, they want everyone to be their authentic selves.

Mel Robbins 52:56 Yup.

Jamie Kern Lima 52:56 It's just this has never been done this way before.

Mel Robbins 52:58 Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 52:59 And I wish I could say it was easy for me to just go, "I'm just gonna go with my knowing," but the truth is, I flew out there a week early, Mel. I sat in a rental car in the parking lot, cried every day. I actually second-guessed myself. I'm like, "If I do it... maybe I'll do it their way first, then I'll make money, then I'll do it my way." Uh, but I know that, you know, authenticity... you can't fake authenticity. And authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success, but what I do know is in- inauthenticity guarantees failure every time.

Mel Robbins 53:28 Okay, everybody stop the professor. Class (laughs) is in session. Did you hear that? That inauthenticity, being fake-

Jamie Kern Lima 53:37 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 53:37 ... trying to do something everybody else's way because that's just... you're too insecure to do it your way-

Jamie Kern Lima 53:42 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 53:43 ... that never guarantees success.

Jamie Kern Lima 53:45 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 53:45 Authenticity, your knowing, your special spin on things-

Jamie Kern Lima 53:52 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 53:52 ... that is the pathway to purpose and success.

Jamie Kern Lima 53:55 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 53:55 There is no other way.

Jamie Kern Lima 53:57 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 53:57 And so after a week of crying in your rental car in the parking lot at QVC-

Jamie Kern Lima 54:01 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 54:02 ... you were like, "I'm going with the knowing."

Jamie Kern Lima 54:04 I'm going with the knowing. Um-

Mel Robbins 54:05 And so tell us about that first appearance. You're standing there on a television set.

Jamie Kern Lima 54:09 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 54:09 There's a bazillion cameras. The lights are bright.

Jamie Kern Lima 54:13 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 54:13 You got your models there.

Jamie Kern Lima 54:15 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 54:15 You're taking the risk of your lifetime on live television in front of 100 million homes.

Jamie Kern Lima 54:20 Yes.

Mel Robbins 54:21 You are doing something that has never been done on television before.

Jamie Kern Lima 54:25 Yeah, I remember literally I wore two pairs of Spanx, Mel. Not 'cause I cared how I looked, but like-

Mel Robbins 54:30 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 54:30 ... I was so freaked out, like my hands were shaking and I was sweating through my clothes, so I had on double Spanx under my dress, and I remember the moment the, the camera went live, right? And there's a big countdown clock on the floor that started at, at ten minutes, and by the way, a minute or two before I went onto the set, I learned you're not guaranteed your ten minutes.

Mel Robbins 54:50 Why?

Jamie Kern Lima 54:50 If you are a minute or two into your sale and you're not hitting numbers, they know by the second. Your clock... you might think you have eight minutes still to go, and your clock will jump to one or jump to two minutes left.

Mel Robbins 55:01 (gasps)

Jamie Kern Lima 55:01 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 55:01 'Cause your product's a flop.

Jamie Kern Lima 55:02 Yep. Exactly.

Mel Robbins 55:03 And you're a flop.

Jamie Kern Lima 55:04 A-

Mel Robbins 55:04 So, you literally are racing against the clock to be successful-

Jamie Kern Lima 55:07 (exhales)

Mel Robbins 55:07 ... out of the gate. So what did you do to, like, hook everybody? Did you take your makeup off right away? Did you like-

Jamie Kern Lima 55:13 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 55:13 What did you do?

Jamie Kern Lima 55:14 So, so I... first of all, I, I go out of the... you know, I, I go live, and remember it was like 9:59, 9:58, 9:57, and I'm like (gasps) , and I remember I had practiced in my bathroom mirror, right? So many time... if I had known the high five habit then, I would've been way more confident-

Mel Robbins 55:28 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 55:28 But I was practicing in the bathroom mirror this demonstration a million times on my wrist, how our concealer doesn't crease and the best two-selling concealers crease. And I'd done this demonstration like this where I show it and they all start to crease. So I'm holding my wrist up, trying to do this as we go live to show that... But my, but my hand's like this now. And it was never, like, shaking when I was doing it a million times.

Mel Robbins 55:49 Meaning it wouldn't bend, everybody.

Jamie Kern Lima 55:50 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 55:50 Like, she was so anxiety-ridden-

Jamie Kern Lima 55:53 So... (laughs) Yes.

Mel Robbins 55:54 ... that she's sweating through her two pairs of pang- Spanx.

Jamie Kern Lima 55:56 Yes.

Mel Robbins 55:56 And her wrist will not bend, so she cannot demonstrate that her product won't crease.

Jamie Kern Lima 56:01 Yes. And the host grabbed my wrist and was like, "Thank you, sugar," and she took over.

Mel Robbins 56:05 (gasps) .

Jamie Kern Lima 56:05 And then I remember my bright red bare face before a shot coming up on national television. I remember walking over to our models, real women, all shapes, sizes, skin tones, skin challenges, calling them beautiful, meaning it. Uh, I remember...

Mel Robbins 56:21 Do you, did you take... So when did you take your makeup off?

Jamie Kern Lima 56:23 So-

Mel Robbins 56:23 When she grabbed your hand and said, "Thank you, sugar"-

Jamie Kern Lima 56:25 Yeah, yeah, she's so sweet.

Mel Robbins 56:26 ... did that wake you up? Or were you like-

Jamie Kern Lima 56:28 I, Mel, I, I was like out of my body. I was just praying.

Mel Robbins 56:30 So do you... Did you, like, just then take your makeup off?

Jamie Kern Lima 56:33 Well, they did a whole bare face before shot of me for that show.

Mel Robbins 56:36 Oh.

Jamie Kern Lima 56:36 I have ta-... I've taken it off live a million times since.

Mel Robbins 56:39 Okay, okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 56:39 That first show, it was like, yeah, bare face before shot and then the after. Um, and I remember walking over to the mo-... I remember we were, gosh, six or seven minutes in. I didn't know how we were doing, but I knew we weren't cut yet. Um, and then it got down to, like, a minute left and the host said, uh, uh, "The deep shades almost gone. The tan shades almost sold out." And I was, like, freaking out. And I remember literally right at the 10-minute mark, this giant, um, sold out sign came up across the screen. And I start crying on national television.

Mel Robbins 57:08 Oh, I love you.

Jamie Kern Lima 57:09 They cut from me and went to, like, Dyson vacuum or something.

Mel Robbins 57:13 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 57:13 Um, and I remember my husband came rushing through the double doors of the studio, and I (laughs) a- and- and he's, like, has his arms up and I'm just sobbing, and I'm like, "Real women have spoken."

Mel Robbins 57:25 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 57:25 And I'm just, like, crying. And I thought he was gonna give me a hug or be all excited, and he just looked at me and he's like, "We're not going bankrupt."

Mel Robbins 57:33 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 57:33 And I was like, "Ugh."

Mel Robbins 57:36 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 57:36 And I just... (laughs) That one airing, which was September of 2010, uh, became five more that year, then 101 the next year, and then I did 250 live shows a year, um, myself, direct live on, on, on QVC year after year. So we built the biggest beauty brand in QVC's history. And the only reason that I share that is because it was years of no

Jamie Kern Lima 57:58 and, "You're not the right fit."

Mel Robbins 57:59 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 58:00 And, and, and, and what I love for, for anyone listening who needs to hear this is no one can tell you you're not the right fit. No one. And you can get all the nos in the world, but you have your knowing. And, and, and, and by the way, I believe this, Mel. I believe even when you trust your knowing and then it seems like it was wrong and things don't go your way over and over and over, like, I look back at those moments, right? I really wanted that investor to invest in us. Thank God he didn't.

Mel Robbins 58:30 Oh, God.

Jamie Kern Lima 58:30 When I say everything's happening for us, what I mean is, like, if he... I was so desperate that if he would've invested in us then, I probably would've given him the majority of the company for probably-

Mel Robbins 58:40 Right, right.

Jamie Kern Lima 58:40 ... almost no money, right? By the time, many years, six years later, after that day, six years later, when, um, L'Oreal bought this little company I started in my living room for $1.2 billion cash, it was still the... I was the largest shareholder. Paulo and I were the largest shareholders. And I look back and it's like, oh, gosh, thank God the- the, all the nos happened when they did. Even when they sucked, even when it felt like it wasn't fair.

Mel Robbins 59:08 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 59:09 Um, and I can look at that in many scenarios. Sometimes we don't have some big positive outcome, but we learn a purpose through a no.

Mel Robbins 59:17 Right.

Jamie Kern Lima 59:17 Right? We learn a calling through a no. Um, we learn a lesson. We build strength. We build resiliency. We appreciate the beautiful moments so much more when we've gone through the tough ones.

Mel Robbins 59:29 So, have you ever seen that investor since?

Jamie Kern Lima 59:32 (laughs) I have not seen him. Uh, the day that we-

Mel Robbins 59:37 Of course I ask the petty question. I'm like, have you ever, like, seen him to, like, twist a little knife in there? Okay.

Jamie Kern Lima 59:42 So, so, uh, I heard from him one time.

Mel Robbins 59:45 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 59:45 Never again. And it was six years later, the day that L'Oreal announced the deal. So because they're a public company, they announced, um, you know, that they had acquired It Cosmetics, made me the first woman to hold a CEO title of a brand in their 107-year history. They did the big press release. So-

Mel Robbins 1:00:02 That's kind of surprising. 107 years, L'Oreal, a makeup company, you're... It ta-... It took them that long to have the first female CEO of a brand?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:00:12 I hope they have many more now. That is my prayer.

Mel Robbins 1:00:14 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:00:14 Yeah, yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:00:15 Yeah. You were, you were the trailblazer there too.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:00:17 It's, uh, it's been, yeah, so many things. (laughs) It has been a journey. And here's the thing, Mel. It was another woman inside L'Oreal. It was Carol Hamilton, who was head of luxury for North America. She'd been there, gosh, 30 plus years, and she championed-

Mel Robbins 1:00:31 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:00:31 ... for me to keep my CEO title, all the things. Like, it was another woman saying, "Oh." And, and it's funny because I actually think she should've been the first woman. You know what I mean?

Mel Robbins 1:00:40 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:00:40 And I think, again, um, there's an example, by the way, of, of, I believe... I'm not gonna speak for her. I believe she knows. This is my opinion. I think she probably knows she should be the first fe- female CEO, but look how she used what she went through to then, boom, be a purpose and of service and help make sure that I kept my CEO title. Um, you know, everything we go through. Um, but, so, so they announced it, right? So all of a sudden it was homepage of Wall Street Journal, the press everywhere. And that was the first time and only time since that I heard from that potential investor.

Mel Robbins 1:01:12 And what did he say?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:13 He said, "Congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong," is what he said.

Mel Robbins 1:01:18 Oh.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:18 And wished me the best of luck. And, uh, uh, so-

Mel Robbins 1:01:22 That's a big deal to admit you're wrong.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:24 It is. Um, and, uh...And so when you speak about petty, so I... what I did say to him was, "Thank you," but what I wanted to say... (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:01:34 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:34 Like if- (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:01:35 What did you want to say?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:37 So in that moment, here's what I thought about. I- I thought about, um... do you remember the movie Pretty Woman where, where to like she goes in the store and they wouldn't help her?

Mel Robbins 1:01:45 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:45 And then she goes back. Remember when she goes back?

Mel Robbins 1:01:47 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:48 So I wanted to say to him, "Big mistake. Huge. Huge."

Mel Robbins 1:01:53 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 1:01:53 "I could give you 1.2 billion reasons why it was a huge mistake." Um, but I didn't. I wouldn't have wanted to be him in that situation. You know, we probably would've been one of the most successful investments in his firm's history, you know? And so, listen, it wasn't, uh... Reject-... I always say, "Rejection is God's protection," so often, you know?

Mel Robbins 1:02:14 There's another one, everybody. Rejection is God's protection.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:02:19 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:02:19 It's a good way to frame it. And I think when you look in the rearview mirror, you know that all the rejections you've faced, especially in relationships-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:02:30 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:02:30 ... were there to protect you. I think the true thing that you've taught me through your story and through the example that you continue to set, Jamie, is that true power and- and grace and grit and belief

Mel Robbins 1:02:48 is about seeing that in front of you-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:02:51 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:02:51 ... not behind you.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:02:52 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:02:53 That the- the rejections that you're facing right now, that you can look ahead and realize it's protecting you in this moment. Um, I had, like a couple other questions that I wanted to ask you, because after doing something so extraordinary, and you also have made a huge difference in, uh, women's lives around the world because you are extraordinarily philanthropic-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:03:23 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:03:24 ... $40 million worth of product and monetary donations, um, to people that are struggling with cancer, and what is next for you?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:03:37 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:03:38 Because you are right now in the middle of figuring out on this next leg of the journey called life what your purpose is-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:03:51 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:03:51 ... and what your next thing is going to be. What tools are you using, or how are you thinking about it? And it's really important topic because so many people, particularly after the last three years, have had a profound life change thrust on them.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:04:10 Yes.

Mel Robbins 1:04:11 And they're looking ahead at an open road wondering what their purpose is gonna be, what they're going to do. Can you just speak to that person for a minute-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:04:24 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:04:24 ... about how you're going about figuring it out?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:04:27 Yeah. So one thing I just wanna, um, remind everyone too, Mel, 'cause I think people put

Jamie Kern Lima 1:04:34 so much pressure on themselves that their purpose has to be their job-

Mel Robbins 1:04:38 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:04:38 ... or their next job. And a lot of times, we can be doing a job that's fine, and- and- and maybe f- for family reasons, we need that health coverage and we need that paycheck. And- and- and your purpose can be found in the things you do outside of that, right? There's a lot of ways, uh, to listen to that knowing and your gut and- and- and then when it feels right, you know that's aligned with- with who you're born to be-

Mel Robbins 1:05:05 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:05:05 ... and how you're born to, um, show up in the world. And so for me right now, um, you know, there's that famous saying, "Just 'cause you can, should you?" Right?

Mel Robbins 1:05:14 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:05:14 There's a big part of me now with all these, you know... Could I go launch a bunch of businesses? Yes. (laughs) Right? Um, and what I feel drawn to is- is- is literally...'Cause here's the deal. Yes, I've built a billion-dollar business. Yes, I have other companies I invest in, but-

Mel Robbins 1:05:32 You also are married and you have two beautiful children.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:05:36 Yes, a two-year-old and four-year-old.

Mel Robbins 1:05:37 And you're incredibly, uh, devoted to your family.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:05:41 Mm-hmm. Well, and here's the thing. It's like that's all part of my story, but when I l- when I- when I look at my real story, i- i- it meaning the part that ties deeply to- to my purpose, like my real story as a girl who went from not believing in herself-

Mel Robbins 1:05:57 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:05:57 ... to learning how to. And so when I wake up in the morning and I think about the things I've done so far, the things I hope for my kids, for... i- is- is... uh, and how I built a billion-dollar business, it was really through seeing women, helping them see themselves-

Mel Robbins 1:06:14 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:06:14 ... and believe in themselves and believe they are worthy and enough. And that's what makes... like that's what fires me up every morning. So when I think about what I'm stepping into next-

Mel Robbins 1:06:25 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:06:26 ... um, you know, I wrote Believe It!, um, which is about my book about how to go from underestimated to unstoppable, donated all the proceeds. I'm donating all the proceeds, 100%. Um, I funded leadership-

Mel Robbins 1:06:36 Hold on, hold on. Um, let's just underscore that. So she writes a New York Times bestseller, donates all the proceeds from the book-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:06:45 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:06:45 ... to nonprofits. Just donates 'em.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:06:48 Yeah. And the book is just, um, for me-

Mel Robbins 1:06:50 It's incredible.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:06:51 Hmm, thank you.

Mel Robbins 1:06:52 It's like a little manual that you should have on your bedside table 'cause Jamie will be smiling at you.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:06:58 Yes.

Mel Robbins 1:06:58 And you'll see that you're not alone, that we're in this together. And her example of learning how to go from doubting herself to believing in herself is the journey that each and every one of us is on.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:07:14 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:07:15 And so you're kind of in this soup of knowing that this is the area where you wanna focus the impact.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:07:22 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:07:22 But you're not... Being a very, very, very good friend of yours, I know that you're not... it's still a fuzzy target, so to speak-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:07:29 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:07:29 ... as our friend Dean would say. It's a fuzzy target.If somebody kinda has a sense that there's something more, but they don't quite have their... They haven't had that aha moment yet-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:07:40 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:07:40 ... that you had almost 14 years ago, sitting on that television set.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:07:46 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:07:46 "I'm gonna make makeup, and I'm gonna bring real women in. I'm gonna show my skin, and I'm gonna-"

Jamie Kern Lima 1:07:51 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:07:51 "... solve this problem, and I'm gonna make people think that they're beautiful 'cause they are beautiful, no matter what their body." And you did it! You did it.

Mel Robbins 1:07:59 But if you're in the soup-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:08:01 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:08:01 ... and you don't have the vision yet, is there an exercise or something that you would recommend that we all do while we're waiting for that clarity and that epiphany to strike?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:08:12 Yeah. Two things. One, waiting for it to be perfect can be the lowest vibration, big- biggest excuse-

Mel Robbins 1:08:19 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:08:19 Uh, number one reason why people just never try and never get started. So, I don't think... I think it's rare to ever have complete clarity, like, this is exactly perfect for... And that's why, you know, I think, I think, uh, two things. I think just taking a step and seeing how it feels is good, tuning into your knowing. I also think, you know, Dean, so, we... So, so, you mentioned our friend, Dean, who was saying that the fuzzy target, you know, he, he was saying something to me recently about, you know, almost like when you're about to aim a, a bow and arrow, and you're about to let go of the arrow. He's like, "You can aim and, and turn it and twist it a few times before you let go of the arrow." It's okay to wait a little bit and just make sure you're gonna aim at the right thing.

Mel Robbins 1:08:59 Hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:00 Um, and, you know, so, so this year, for example, um, I've kinda been doing that. I've been saying, "How do things feel?" You know, I have the gift and blessing of being here with you right now. Saying-

Mel Robbins 1:09:11 How does this feel?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:12 It feels amazing.

Mel Robbins 1:09:14 So, does this mean you-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:14 I love you.

Mel Robbins 1:09:15 ... you're gonna do a talk show?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:15 (laughs) Maybe, maybe. You could, you could teach me all the ropes, Mel, and then, um, yeah, but I, I-

Mel Robbins 1:09:21 Partly. I am a failed talk show host.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:23 Uh, okay. There, n- don't even. You wanna-

Mel Robbins 1:09:25 That is true.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:26 This is the hardest-

Mel Robbins 1:09:26 My talk show got canceled.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:27 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:09:28 Why?

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:29 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:09:29 Because, uh-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:31 I can tell you why. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Mel Robbins 1:09:34 Well, I was gonna apply the lessons from Professor Purpose.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:36 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:09:36 But I'd like to hear you tell me why.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:38 I think our steps are ordered. Why? I think because you're gonna own all of what you're doing and make it so much bigger than anyone else who owned it could have made it.

Mel Robbins 1:09:49 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:50 So-

Mel Robbins 1:09:51 It's true.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:51 Uh, by that definition, I think you're the most successful talk show host.

Mel Robbins 1:09:55 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:55 That's the first thing. Um-

Mel Robbins 1:09:57 At least in the podcasting space.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:09:59 (laughs) But no, I love... Uh, I think it's all gonna be the same. I think a show is a show. You know what I mean?

Mel Robbins 1:10:04 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:10:04 It's... The world's changing so rapidly.

Mel Robbins 1:10:06 Mm-hmm.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:10:07 Um, and, uh, and I love too that you can do this show on your terms.

Mel Robbins 1:10:13 It's true.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:10:13 Right? You can do it on your terms, and that's why it is so huge 'cause it's on your terms.

Mel Robbins 1:10:18 Well, like you, and maybe this is one of the reasons why we have become such dear friends in such a short period of time. And I often say on this show that I truly believe that the best years of your life and the best friendships that you'll have are on the road ahead.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:10:35 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:10:36 But a lot of the reason why we connected so profoundly, even though we are different in many, many ways-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:10:43 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:10:43 ... is that it goes back to the Denny's waitress. Like, at my core, I am still the waitress making money waiting tables at the Red Rooster Tavern on Scenic Drive in North Muskegon, Michigan. Same as you. Stalling because the fryer has now broken, and the fried perch is not coming out, and I'm talking to the tourists from Chicago. And I'm treating everybody kindly. And I know that all I wanna do is impact people's lives that are just got their head down, and they don't feel very seen or heard. And I wanna make them know that they have it within them to tap into this incredible power inside them to create whatever they want in life.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:11:29 Yes.

Mel Robbins 1:11:29 And it starts with believing-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:11:32 Yes.

Mel Robbins 1:11:32 ... that you can. And having somebody like you on, who has demonstrated that-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:11:38 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:11:38 ... is really important for people to hear.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:11:41 You know, on that topic of friendship, I love so much that you are the friend that people need to your audience. Like, and, and what I mean by that, and I'm honored to be the friend for this episode with you, to everyone. And, and what I mean by that, Mel, is I think you and I love each other for who we authentically are, the Denny's waitress, the Red Rooster lady.

Mel Robbins 1:12:00 (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 1:12:00 Right? And we also are friends that, that, um, help pull each other into-

Mel Robbins 1:12:07 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:12:07 ... who we're becoming.

Mel Robbins 1:12:08 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:12:08 And I think so often, and that's why I love, um, a- and your show also, as you know, of course, but I just wanna call it out, that your show can be this for people who feel like, "How do I find those friends that pull, help pull me into my future?" Because so often the people around us, while they might mean really, really well and love us dearly, pull us into our past, or for their own comfort zone, want us to stay the person we were or are. And it's so important because we're talking about purpose-

Mel Robbins 1:12:37 Yeah.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:12:38 ... to try and, and, and add friends to your circle who, who truly want the best for you, not just what they think is the best for them in you. (laughs) But, like, want the best for you. And you do that for me. I do that for you.

Mel Robbins 1:12:50 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:12:50 This show, your show, I know does that for people as well.

Mel Robbins 1:12:55 Yes.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:12:55 And so, um, honored to be a part of that.

Mel Robbins 1:12:58 Thank you.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:12:58 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:12:59 Um, I wanna just highlight one final thing, and then I have a surprise to tell, um, you listening to us right now. Yes, we have a surprise for you that's really exciting with Professor Purpose over here.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:13:11 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:13:12 Um, (clears throat) and I, I, I'm having, like, a menopause moment where, like, the drawbridge is open in my brain, and now the drawbridge is not closing and connecting the dots- (laughs)

Jamie Kern Lima 1:13:24 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:13:24 ... on this profound thing that I wanted to say. So, let me see if I can, if I can-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:13:28 Everything you say is profound.

Mel Robbins 1:13:28 ... order this. Hardly, hardly.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:13:31 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:13:31 But I appreciate you saying that. Um-I think one of the things that I've learned, and it took me a long time to learn this, is that there is so much success and happiness to go around.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:13:42 Mm.

Mel Robbins 1:13:43 And when you lift other people up-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:13:47 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:13:47 ... and you reach out for help, that, um, your success comes faster and it's richer.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:13:53 Yes.

Mel Robbins 1:13:54 Both emotionally and in terms of monetarily. And, um, I just remembered what I wanted to say, and it's this. And it goes back to purpose, it goes back to that knowing and staying connected to your intention, and this unique

Mel Robbins 1:14:10 thing that you have to give to the world. It is not only your responsibility in life to stay connected to your knowing.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:14:18 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:14:18 It is your responsibility to advocate for it, because only you have seen it in your heart and mind. Of course your family says no. They don't even know what they're, you're talking about, 'cause they only know the person that you've been in the past.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:14:34 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:14:34 Of course the investor is gonna say no. Why? Because they only know what they know. Your knowing is yours.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:14:41 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:14:42 And you have to stay connected to it, and you have to keep describing it or advocating for it or explaining it to people so that they can see it too. And it's not until you demonstrate what you see in your own heart and mind, by continuing to walk toward it, continuing to talk about it, continuing to believe in it, that it will become a reality. And that's why people say no.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:09 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:15:09 Because it's your knowing-

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:11 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:15:12 ... not theirs.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:12 Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:15:12 And so in a weird way, a ton of nos, or a lot of friction or bumping up against things as you're trying, you can't understand, "Why don't people get this? Why isn't this working?" It's because it's your knowing, not theirs.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:23 Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:15:25 Amazing.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:27 Yeah. And-

Mel Robbins 1:15:27 Okay, so the surprise.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:28 Okay.

Mel Robbins 1:15:29 So my... Jamie Kern Lima has just given you a fricking masterclass. She put you in the seat next to her as we have driven down a 15-year journey in her life.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:41 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:15:42 And just insight after insight after insight. And I'm really excited because Jamie also wanted to talk to you.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:15:51 Yes.

Mel Robbins 1:15:51 And I know you're gonna have a bazillion questions, and so here's how we're gonna do this. Just go to the comments. And in all caps, and we will put this in our, um, description below, in all caps just say, "Question for Jamie. Question for Jamie."

Jamie Kern Lima 1:16:09 I love it. (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:16:10 And we are going to consolidate all of your questions, and we're gonna have Jamie back. And we are going to do an episode where literally a woman who went from starting this company in her living room all the way to selling it for $1.2 billion, and who has demonstrated what it looks like to tap into your knowing, to just turn those rejections into protection, to keep stepping in an ordered way through her life, she is going to be here at zero cost for you to answer your questions. Because that is who Jamie Kern Lima is.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:16:52 Hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:16:54 That is why I love you.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:16:56 I love you.

Mel Robbins 1:16:57 You're just the freaking best.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:16:59 (laughs)

Mel Robbins 1:16:59 And in case nobody else has told you, I wanna just make sure that we end by saying that I love you.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:17:07 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mel Robbins 1:17:08 I know Jamie does too.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:17:09 Yeah. I love you also, and, um, and you're worthy of your greatest hopes and your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world, and, and your purpose and worthy of grace. You know, the grace that you wanna give yourself on this journey. And we're all in it together. That's the beauty and power of your show also, that we're all in it together.

Mel Robbins 1:17:27 We are.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:17:28 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:17:28 We are. Well, we believe in you. So, uh, get out there and do it.

Jamie Kern Lima 1:17:35 Ah! (clapping)

Mel Robbins 1:17:38 (laughs) Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as