The Mel Robbins PodcastHow to Find Your Purpose and Achieve Your Dreams With Jamie Kern Lima | The Mel Robbins Podcast
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150 min read · 30,174 words- 0:00 – 4:35
Intro
- MRMel Robbins
This is really an unbelievable episode, and it's all about purpose. And today, Jamie Kern Lima is here.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
That, in my opinion, is one of the strongest ways to find your purpose. It's what has just destroyed you or hurt you that you've maybe made it through-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
...and how can you now use that making it through to help someone who's going through it?
- MRMel Robbins
That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose, Jamie Kern Lima. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to... This is really an unbelievable episode, and it's all about purpose. That's what this is, on The Mel Robbins Podcast. Okay. You are in for an incredible master class on purpose, success, vision, intuition. My name is Mel Robbins. I'm a New York Times best-selling author, and I am so excited that you're here, because today, I am gonna introduce you to not only one of my closest friends, a woman that I profoundly admire, but you are also going to get a master class on some of the most important topics when it comes to creating a better life. You're about to meet a woman who went from being a waitress at Denny's to solving a problem that she had in her own life and creating a cosmetics company in her living room and growing it to a game changer in the cosmetic industry. She ultimately sold IT Cosmetics. Yep, IT Cosmetics, that incredible mega-brand. She sold that sucker for 1.2 billion, that's a B, billion dollars, to L'Oreal in cash, and she went on to become the first female CEO inside of L'Oreal, the first one in 100 years. She has appeared on QVC over 1,000 times. She has built the largest cosmetic brand that they have ever launched. Not only that, but she has donated more than 40 million in products and in cash to survivors of cancer. Uh, is it feel good, do better? What is it?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah, look and feel better. I know, I love you.
- MRMel Robbins
Look h- Hi, honey. Look, uh, t- to the, the... To look and feel better. And she is one of my favorite human beings of all time. She wrote the book Believe It!, and it is a instant New York Times best-seller. And today, Jamie Kern Lima is here as my friend and as the professor in the topics, literally, of drive, purpose, success, meaning, giving back. There is so much. I can't wait to dig in with you, Jamie. Thank you for being here.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mel, thank you. Thank you for having me. This is gonna be fun and real and raw, and I can't wait, and I hope it just adds so much value to everyone listening, so I'm grateful to be here. Thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
There's no question, because you know how you have those friends in your life that you don't see very often?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
But every time you do, it's like no time has disappeared, and you just have this, like, kinda twinkle on your skin because you just love being with this person. I love you so much, Jamie. I'm actually mad at you that you live so far away from me-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
...so maybe we should just start right there.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I love you. Thank you. I feel the very same way, and one of the things I wanna share... I know we're gonna dive in deep on purpose. By the way, I love purpose professor. I'm like, "Yeah-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"...let's do it. Let's do it," 'cause that's one of our biggest life questions. How do I find my purpose? Um, but I just wanna say, Mel, something really important to me that I didn't wanna leave here without saying. You can edit this out if you don't like it, but everybody listening needs to know this. You are one of the rare human beings that is the same off air, behind the scenes, in your everyday life as you are in all the public things. You know what I mean? And you and I both met so many celebrities and so many people with millions and millions of followers, and it's very rare they're the same, and I just... One of the things I love so much about you is you are even more funny-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
...even more intelligent and brilliant and kind and raw and real, um, in real life. So, that congruency is like one in a billion, and I love you, and I'm just grateful to be here for you.
- MRMel Robbins
Wow.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Just that. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
I think the episode's over now.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
No, we gotta go back
- 4:35 – 7:36
How Jamie Kern Lima got her career started in waitressing and ended up building a 1.2 billion dollar company
- MRMel Robbins
in time, because, you know, I think f-... One of the reasons why I wanted to have you on is because the entire mission of this show is to empower and inspire you listening to us right now to create a better life-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
...whatever that means for you, to take the simple steps that sometimes feel impossible to pursue your dreams, to improve your health, to create greater connections, to believe in yourself, and Jamie truly is not only the professor of purpose, but her life story is a demonstration-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
...in cultivating belief, belief in your ideas, belief in your intuition, belief in God, belief that things will turn out. And so I wanna go back in time because, you know, I've heard you on the stages that you speak around the world talk about how you started as a waitress in Denny's-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
...and then from waitressing at Denny's pursued a dream that you had of being on television.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And as a fellow former waitress, I would love to start there.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm. Yeah, waitress at Denny's, um, full uniform, name tag to prove it.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, I forgot they-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
...had uniforms.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Full uniform, uh...
- MRMel Robbins
What was your favorite thing on the menu?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Oh, gosh, I loved the pancakes. You know what?
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Just, like, simple... Um, it's so funny how our steps are ordered, I think, in life.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And so often... I remember being a waitress at Denny's. I remember feeling and, and maybe, um, maybe someone...... listening to us can relate to this right now. You have this feeling inside of you, like, there's something more I'm supposed to do, but you don't know what it is yet, and you doubt it might be possible. And I remember being a waitress at Denny's and just feeling like I had these big dreams, but not quite knowing, like, how do I believe I'm worthy of them yet? And, um, it was this big season in my life. Uh, at the same time, Mel, the kitchen at the Denny's I worked at was a disaster, like, they would take an hour to get pancakes out.
- MRMel Robbins
Huh.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So I learned to talk to people so that they wouldn't leave. They often did leave. (laughs) Um, or they'd throw, like, a dime and a penny on the table and leave.
- MRMel Robbins
As your tip, as if it's your fault-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah, exactly. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... that the food were, uh-huh.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
But it's so funny how, you know, years later, when I ended up launching my own business, I'm like, "Oh, I've got to get the operations right (laughs) or nothing else matters." You know, it's just those little things we learn along the way. Um, but yeah, after, after that, I, I, um, I thought my whole life I would, I would have a talk show. I watched Oprah in my living room growing up, so I thought for sure I would share other people's stories with the world. So I went into, uh, you know, did all the jobs, saved up all my money to, to pay through, uh, pay for school, and, and, um, push grocery carts in the grocery parking lot, slice meat in the deli, all those fun jobs, and then found myself in my, in what I thought was my dream job, working in TV news, and I thought, "This is it, right?" And what I
- 7:36 – 9:10
A simple reframe when you are facing setbacks in your life
- JLJamie Kern Lima
didn't realize was I was about to enter this huge season of setback in my life-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, of self-doubt. Uh, I have a skin condition called rosacea, and for me, it started getting really red, really bumpy. Uh, and I would be anchoring the news live thinking like, you know, "Okay, this is it, this is it." And I started hearing in my earpiece, uh, from my producer, "There's something on your face, there's something on your face."
- MRMel Robbins
Oh my God.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"You need to wipe it off. You need to..." And I was live on television, right? And I would glance down during the commercial break, and I saw, oh, the makeup is breaking up on my face, and these big red bumps are coming through. And it started this season that felt like setback, um, but so often in life, the, the seasons that feel like setbacks are, are actually setups for what we're called to do.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, stop right there. Did you hear that? The seasons of your life that are setbacks are often setups for what you're called to do. I wanna just make sure everybody heard that, and I wanna take a, a highlighter and also highlight something that you said about being a waitress at Denny's, and it's this. You said, "Our steps are ordered."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So can you explain what that means, particularly to somebody who's listening-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... who may feel like, "I know I'm meant for something greater-"
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
"... why the hell am I at this step? And this does not feel like it is, like, on the path of where I'm supposed to go."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So what do you mean by the fact that our steps are ordered?
- 9:10 – 13:08
The biggest misconception around purpose
- MRMel Robbins
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. I believe, you know, everything in life-
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... is happening for us, even when it doesn't make sense.
- MRMel Robbins
Ugh. Can we just... What do you mean, "Happening for us?"
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I think-
- MRMel Robbins
So to somebody that's, like, really in it, Jaime-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes, yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... what does that mean?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Let me frame it around our topic of purpose, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So often people feel empty because they feel like, "Oh, my purpose needs to be some job, it needs to be my job, or it needs to be this, this grand thing I haven't figured out yet." But for those of us that have accomplished a goal we always dreamed of, we get to it and we're like, "Oh, this isn't it," right? It's never... In my opinion, purpose is never this, this big goal necessarily. Purpose is so often when we're able to serve the person we once were or serve in a way for something we've gone through. And here's what I mean. Uh, I think our purpose can be like, "Oh, wow, I went through a really freaking hard season in my life-"
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"... and I now am actually realizing I'm born to be a generational cycle breaker in my family."
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
That is an incredible purpose, right? Purpose can be like, "Oh, I've been having a hard season for a long time, and when I actually just take a minute and say hi to someone else who's lonely," maybe it's, like, in the s-, in the coffee line at Starbucks, maybe it's the, the, the neighbor down the street, whatever it is, you feel in your gut a sense of fulfillment, like a sense of alignment when you're doing something in your purpose.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I think that the big mistake people make is they think it's this end goal, right? A lot of times when people, uh, hear my story and they hear the, "Oh, Denny's waitress builds billion-dollar company," they think my purpose was to be some big entrepreneur.
- MRMel Robbins
It wasn't?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It wasn't.
- MRMel Robbins
What was it?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I- in the journey of how I did it-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... I took this massive risk, right, taking my makeup off on national television when I was told not to, um, and, and being brave enough to be seen-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and helping other women realize, uh, that they're worthy and enough exactly as they are, seeing them as who they are. To me, that is my purpose. And in doing that, um, it just... A, a byproduct of that with IT Cosmetics is we built a company with millions and millions and millions and millions of customers. Uh, and what's wild is 5% of our customers actually have skin issues, like I do. 95% don't. It's just that they felt seen and connected with something that spoke to their soul, right? For me, being willing to say, "Here I am, exactly as I am, no makeup and, you know, all my skin issues," um, I think people connected with that, that feeling of, of, "Oh, I'm enough exactly as I am."
- MRMel Robbins
You know what else I think is a really important part of your story? It is waitressing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
It's pushing carts in a supermarket.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- 13:08 – 16:18
The importance of showing up for everything you do, no matter where you are at
- MRMel Robbins
it's like to be treated like shit-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... because somebody was mad that their pancakes weren't out on time.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes. Yes, and also, you and I have had this experience where we've truly gotten to see and be almost every type of person-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... in every type-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. (laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... of environment, and so now, it's like whether it's me building a business or you building one of the top shows in the world-
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... one of the top shows in the world, um, I feel part of that was like, "Oh, we understand who, who's listening and watching you-"
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"... right now."
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"I understand who real people are, who built, you know, who b- who bought my products, and-"
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and, and so when you mentioned steps are ordered, it's like, you know, no matter where you are in your life right now, what you're going through, I believe every piece of it, whether it's, "Oh, someone just, you know, cut me off in a parking lot and screamed at me," or, oh, whatever it might be you're going through, all of those things are happening for you-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... I believe-
- MRMel Robbins
I love that.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... so that you're amassing this toolbox of understanding, uh, uh, and getting strong enough and equipped enough for the purpose you step into.
- MRMel Robbins
Amazing. So Professor of Purpose, Jamie Kern Lima-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... right there. That's your takeaway number one. The steps are ordered.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
Believe in that.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And this moment is helping you. It's giving you something, so that is one major tool that you used along the way. Let's go back to that moment, 'cause I think you were 28 years old, right-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... when you're sitting on television in Seattle.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- 16:18 – 22:27
Why Jamie’s 1.2 billion dollar idea almost didn’t happen and the ‘AHA’ moment that changed everything
- JLJamie Kern Lima
and started spending it on, um, department store makeup, uh, professional artistry makeup, drugstore makeup. I couldn't find anything that worked, and I had this idea one day, like, "Oh, if I can't find anything that works for me, uh, there's probably a whole lot of other people out there that feel like makeup doesn't work for them." And it was sort of this idea where I was like-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... "If I could figure out how to make something that worked for me, um, it'd help a whole lot of people." And that was my, my knowing, or this, this, this gut feeling, but then my head Mel was like, "Oh, but you got no money. You got no connections. You know no one in the beauty industry. You're unqualified." So I sat in this place, right? And I just wanna, we're talking about purpose. I had this gut feeling like I was supposed to go for this thing, but then my head was like, "Oh, but here's all the reasons why you're not qualified to do it. Plus you're in your dream job, right?" And I sat between those two. And it wasn't until I had this big, big aha moment of why I needed to do it that pushed me over the edge.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. So what is the aha moment?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So, so, so I realized one day, I'm like, "This makes no sense. There are thousands of makeup companies out there. How does nothing work for me," right? Then I had this moment where I realized, I've never seen a model with bright red, bumpy skin saying, you know, selling makeup. But then, i- i- like, you always see these Photoshopped, airbrushed-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... models, and I realized, Mel, like, wow, my whole life, I've actually loved those beauty commercials, and I love seeing the magazines, and, a- a- a- and I always aspired to look like them, but, but deep down inside, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I had this moment, I was literally on the news set when this happened, where I was like, "Wait a minute. What if it's not just about launching a makeup product?" Like, like, "What if I could actually figure out how to do it?" Which I had no idea how, and I had no money. It was like, "What if could actually launch a product that works for me, and what if I actually put real people as models, like every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge? What if I use them as models, call them beautiful, and mean it, for every little kid out there who's about to start doubting themselves, a- a- and, and every grown woman who still does?" And that deep source of pain from, from, from how I was feeling not enough-...and what could I do about it. That, in my opinion, is one of the strongest ways to find your purpose. It's, it's what has just destroyed you or hurt you that you've maybe made it through-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
...and how can you now use that making it through to help someone who's going through it?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. (laughs) That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose, Jamie Kern Lima. So again, I like to unpack these things-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
...to make sure, this is a, this is a... I always say this is not just a listening podcast, it's a doing podcast. And I wanna make sure nobody's left behind.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And there was billions of dollars worth of wisdom that you just dropped, and so I wanna try to unpack it for anybody that is listening to this, and you have this sense that you're made for more.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
So one of the things that I heard is look in your life and see what problems or frustrations or things that you're struggling with that feel like a setback. And Jamie gave you the example of the rosacea on her skin and her inability to find something that actually could help her solve this issue of being able to cover it up so that she could do her dream job. And that setback is a setup for something new. And then get out of your own sort of selfish or self-loathing or the self-excuses and the self-pity, and remind yourself that there are eight billion people on this planet now. There are other people that are dealing with this.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And that if you can figure out how to put your energy into making this better for yourself, and you bring other people into the fold with you, you now have something that's worth working on-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
...because it helps you, and it's gonna help other people. And I also wanna point something out that Jamie will not tell you, but I sure as hell will, and that is that this was about 14 or 15 years ago, so we're talking 2007, 2008, correct?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
In my opinion, Jamie Kern Lima is the reason why we have this real beauty movement. There always has to be the first person-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
...and she was it. So when you look around the, the internet and social media, and you see people doing naked faces, that was not something people did in 2007. It was all airbrush. It was all perfection. That was the beauty standard. There were no plus size or curvy models.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
That was not a thing back then. And so you've got a woman who is sitting in Seattle, who has no experience and no money deciding that she is going to not only figure out how to create a makeup line for people who have issues with their skin, but that she's going to do something nobody has ever done, which is put real normal people, like you and me, into her campaigns, when she finally gets this figured out, and she's gonna show people what her skin actually looks like in order to sell it. I mean, that was a revolutionary idea. She was the first, and I'm telling you this because you could be the first. You have something inside of you that is a problem, something that you can solve, and you could be the first to change the way that people think about an issue. And so Jamie, let's pick up the story because how do you go from this aha moment, like, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," to doing something?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause I think some of us have aha moments, right?
- 22:27 – 24:17
Why you need to listen to your ‘aha’ moments
- JLJamie Kern Lima
First of all, if you're out there right now, and you think, oh, you have an idea or, or a way you wanna show up in the world, or, or, or someone else you, you know, uh, uh, you wanna help, but you think, "Oh, someone's already done it," literally there's only one of you in the entire universe, which by definition means no one has ever done it the way you're gonna do it.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So when I launched this-
- MRMel Robbins
Say that again, Jamie, for the people-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
...that are like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Kids, calm down. Uh, I'm... Wait, Jamie just said something. I was doing my dishes."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
"Say that again." Talk about the fact that this matters.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
This is huge because I think the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of things is we think, "Oh, someone's already done it."
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"Someone's already done it before, you know, who must be smarter than me or more talented or more whatever it is than me." And, and what I have learned and then proven, and I wanna tell you too about... Ah, I'm gonna get so excited.
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Now because... No. When you do this thing, like, don't be shocked then when there's millions and millions of rejections, and people don't get it, right? Um, uh, uh, because it's never been done before, right?
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
'Cause there's only one of you. There's only one of you doing it the way you're gonna do it. But, but just to recap that, there is literally only one of you in the entire universe, right? And so if you are gonna show up to this world authentic, that means whatever you do, if it's authentic to you, it's actually, by definition, it's never been done before.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Right? And so when you show up that way, don't be surprised if not everyone gets it right away, or, you know, in my case, all the experts I put on pedestals all said no. That this idea of, of, of how I wanted to, um, connect with women, they thought it wouldn't work, and they thought I wouldn't therefore make them any money. Um-
- MRMel Robbins
So but can I ask you a question real quick?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
How did you go from the aha-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
...to starting?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
So what did that look like? Like 'cause-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
...I think, like, if you're in the space where, you know, y-
- 24:17 – 28:58
First step to start taking action on your dreams
- MRMel Robbins
let's just use an example. You've never actually... You don't know the fir- You, you, you have this thing about catering-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
...that you just can't get it outta your head. You wanna do these events. You wanna... You've never actually done this 'cause you had never-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
...done anything with makeup.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
You had no idea what you were doing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
You have an idea.And you have an a-ha moment.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
What was the first thing that you did to start to make this real?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So leaning on that why I had to do it-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and why it felt like it was gonna be part of my purpose-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... was a big thing that helped me actually take the risk, quit my job, and-
- MRMel Robbins
Wait, you quit your job because you had an a-ha moment?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. It was deep. I was like, "If I had all of-"
- MRMel Robbins
What did it feel like?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It felt like, um... It felt like if I didn't do it, I would wake up the rest of my life with this pain in my gut, this longing knowing I was created for more. Um, it felt like if I didn't do it, I would have the pain of regret.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And if I did do it, I might have the pain of failure, and maybe the pain of embarrassment, and then maybe the pain of, "Oh, wow, that wasn't... That doesn't feel like it went how I thought it was." You know, I knew it was this big risk.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I knew I was leaving what I thought was my dream job, um-
- MRMel Robbins
Why did you have to quit your job? Just curious.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It was literally from day one. I was all in. Like, it was... Uh, I dove all in. I knew if I was gonna do this, I needed to just go all in on it. Um, and, you know, I s- I started... I do not recommend this, but I started working, like, 100-hour weeks from the beginning. I was so freaking passionate about it. Like, I couldn't stop thinking about, "What if I can actually figure this out? What if I can literally..." 'Cause it was... it, it became a big dream.
- MRMel Robbins
So did you have any savings? Like, did you have a little bit of savings?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Very little savings.
- MRMel Robbins
'Cause you didn't pay yourself for the first three years that you did this.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
First three years. So basically, my husband and I wrote this business plan, right?
- 28:58 – 35:28
How to face your #1 critic (yourself) and start trusting your gut
- JLJamie Kern Lima
after no, after no, after no. And to your point, it became three years of not being able to pay myself, three years of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of nos, of crying myself to sleep at night. Um-
- MRMel Robbins
Were you and your husband, like, fighting like crazy? Like, "You should go back to work. You should... But why did we do that?" Like, were you, like, doing that?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
You... You wanna know what it was?
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
We still believed in it, but we weren't sure how we were gonna make it. It was, like, friends and family that were like, "Uh, wait, you quit your job? Are you sure you should have quit your job?" Or, "Wait, you still haven't made any money? Like, it's been three years." Right? So you hear all of this... The voices get so loud.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Um, the loudest though were m- my own self-doubt. You know, sometimes we take a chance and go for something 'cause our gut is telling us to do it. And then all of a sudden, you face all this opposition and you start to question, "Is my gut wrong? Is my knowing wrong?" And there were so many times where I would literally get this... another brutal no from, you know, Sephora or QVC or whoever it was, and I would just literally cry myself to sleep. Um, I would pray about it and be like, "God, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this, but nothing is going right."
- MRMel Robbins
So let's just pause in that moment, because I get a lot of questions from listeners who... because of the things that have happened in their past-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... they don't know how to trust their intuition.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And I get a lot of questions about decision-making and how to truly, in a situation like this, where you are burning through your entire life savings-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You have left your dream job. You have gotten no after no, after no, after no, after no.How do you stay connected to your intuition-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... in a situation like that?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
What, what tool do you have, or what advice can you give to somebody who's having trouble hearing what the right decision is-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... in that kind of situation?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So, I think that intuition is like a muscle that we build-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, over time, and I think it's a lifelong journey that... you know, to really learning how to hear it and to trust it. And one of the greatest tools, I think, is to, uh, go back. Think back to times in your life where maybe you had this gut feeling to do something and everyone around you said, "Don't do it," so you listened to them, you didn't trust yourself, and then think about what happened, right? And then similarly, go back to a time where everyone was like, "Oh, uh-uh, no way, no way," and you're like, "But I love him. I don't think he's lying."
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"I think his phone really did break five times every weekend."
- MRMel Robbins
(laughs)
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"He didn't disappear, his phone..." Like, right? Think about, like, that situation when everyone was telling you something and, and, and you didn't listen, or even your gut was telling you, right? And you didn't listen. And you think back to those times, and you start to develop pattern recognition-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, of how it felt in moments in your life when you trusted yourself or didn't and what happened, and you get better attune to what that feels like. So-
- MRMel Robbins
What does it feel like for you-
- 35:28 – 36:56
A profound reframe on the hardships you have experienced
- JLJamie Kern Lima
uh, a friend of mine, Rory Vaden, says that you're, you're, you're best positioned to serve the person you once were, right? Um, uh, Trent Shelton, our friend, says, says, "One day, the things you're going through right now will be the things you made it through."
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And what I would say to someone listening right now is look at something in the past that has broken your heart, that has caused you grief, that has been something, uh, that you care deeply about, whether it's positive-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... or negative, that you've gone through, something you care deeply about, um, or maybe pain you've gone through, something you have made it through. I believe often when we go through the hardest times in our life-
- MRMel Robbins
Yep.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... it's for one of two reasons.
- MRMel Robbins
What are they?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It is to either equip us with the strength we need to carry the weight of our success that's to come-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... to carry the weight of our purpose that's to come, or we've gone through these horrible, unspeakable times, things we would never want to happen to us again in our life because we're actually gonna get our greatest source of fulfillment and purpose by one day helping someone else who's going through them. And-
- MRMel Robbins
I love that saying that you're best equipped to help the person you used to be.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes, yes.Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
So, let's go to that moment, Jaime. You're three years in.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You've burned through the money.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
You have been told no by
- 36:56 – 43:18
Jamie’s story of one of the most painful rejection she had every experienced and the life-changing lesson she learn about intuition
- MRMel Robbins
everybody. And even though you have leveraged all of the steps that were ordered along the way, and like an amazing Denny's waitress-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... you can talk to anybody.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
You can hustle. You can figure it out.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
You have nothing but closed doors in front of you-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... and a ton of product, and no money.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
What is the turning point?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
Why did you not give up?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So, two big things happened. The first, uh, was in the form of a crazy painful rejection. So, I thought, Mel, um... So, we got a call from a big potential investor.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And very famous for launching all these sort of unknown brands and making them big products we all buy in grocery stores. And, you know, and I thought... And they'd gotten a hold of our product. And I thought, like, "Oh, if they invest, then, A, I'm not going to go bankrupt. B, like, they could... We can leverage their, their, their clout to get in these stores that keep telling me no."
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Like, I had this whole scenario planned out that was like this Pretty Woman moment, right? Where I was like, "Oh, he's gonna save the day." And so we started taking meeting after meeting, uh, and, and we... It got down to the final meeting with this huge investment firm. And, uh, it was in person. My husband and I actually flew to the meeting, and the head guy was about three feet from me.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And his whole team was there, who was awesome. I had just presented our whole future product pipeline. And he says, "You know, you should be so proud of this product you're created, you've created. It's really, really good. Uh, but it's a no. We're gonna pass on investing in IT Cosmetics." And I was like, "Okay. Can you tell me why?" Because I'm so used to hearing no.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I was like, "Okay." Even though, really, I was devastated, but...
- MRMel Robbins
Well, yeah, 'cause they just led you on, and you just went through it. And this was supposed to be the meeting where they're like, "Let's do this."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I was so hopeful, and I was so desperate.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And, um, he says... He got very quiet, and he says to me, "Do you want to know..." You know, "Do..." Or, uh... I said, I said, "Can you tell me why?" And he says to me, "Do you want me to be, uh, really honest with you?" And I said, "Yes, please." And he got really quiet. And he's like three feet from me in person, and he says, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." And when he said that to me, and this is why it was such a big moment for me, when he said that to me, first of all, a lifetime of body doubt and self-doubt, like fi- m- remember it flooding my body all at once. When I looked at him, I actually felt no anger toward him. I felt like I was almost, like, staring my own fear, um, straight in the eye. But when he said those words to me, Mel, and this is what... This is... When we talk about purpose and intuition. He said, "I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight." The second he said that, I felt this feeling in my gut, like I can remember it like it was yesterday. This, like, strong feeling that said, "He's wrong." Like, I felt it, right? And I didn't know how I was gonna prove it, but I felt that feeling. And what I realized later when I look back at that moment, this guy, this dude gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing in that moment. In that moment. And I believe every one of us has had someone tell us we're not the right fit, or no, or, "You don't have what it takes." Sometimes we're the ones telling ourselves that.
- MRMel Robbins
"I don't love you anymore."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes. Yes, right? But if, if you get still and you learn to hear your knowing, I believe which one you listen to, if you listen to the no, all the nos, all the rejections, all the self-doubt, or you get still and listen to you- your knowing, whether that's from your own intuition, from your creator, from the universe, whatever speaks to you, but we all have it. We all have it. And I believe our, our, our, our life and our purpose (laughs) and, and our entire destiny comes down to which one we listen to. Do you listen to the no or do you listen to the knowing?
- MRMel Robbins
Okay. I promised a masterclass. That right there is worth a billion dollars. In life, are you gonna listen to the no or are you gonna listen to the knowing inside of you? That's it.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- 43:18 – 44:34
How to get yourself unstuck if you are unsure what move to make next
- MRMel Robbins
know the next step? So you got this kind of, you know, jerk who's like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... "Yeah, they're not gonna buy it because of your body type," and this, that, and the other thing. You're like-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... "Yeah, you're wrong, motherfucker."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
But what do you do next?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And, and, uh, so the next right step, the next thing that feels right when you can't even see how the heck it's gonna work out.
- MRMel Robbins
How, well, how do you even determine what the next right step is?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah, you just get... For me, I just get still. I pray. I pray.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
You know that.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I pray, uh, and I just... But whether for you, you know, listening it's prayer or it's the universe or-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... or your intuition, when you get still, all you can do is try to listen, right? And, and try to live that answer, whatever it is, and take that next right step, and I just felt. I just had this knowing I was supposed to keep going and... Even when it didn't make sense and, and, you know, I remember crying myself to sleep. I remember writing in my journal, um, "Know your why, then fly, girl, fly."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I read those words every day till I didn't need the reminder. Um, I would google stories of people that had gone through thousands of rejections who no one would know that they went through them 'cause they're so successful today or... You know, and I just kept trying to sort of build this toolbox of things I could lean on. Um, but I-
- MRMel Robbins
And how did, how did QVC come about? Because-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Oh, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... you
- 44:34 – 48:39
How Jamie landed one of the biggest moves of her career
- MRMel Robbins
ha- built IT Cosmetics and it became, because of you, the most successful beauty brand on all of QVC.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
You did over a thousand appearances.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
So how did you even get onto QVC? Because that, in and of itself, is no small feat.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. Well, you know, their, their head guy o- of beauty, who's like a legend, had said no to me many times, "No, you're not the right fit," uh, and I happened to be at this, this big beauty expo.
- MRMel Robbins
And was this before or after this guy was like, "No, we're not investing"?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
After.
- MRMel Robbins
After?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
After.
- MRMel Robbins
So she has now gotten three years of nos.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
They are almost out of money. Her intuition is knowing that she's gonna fly, girl, fly.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
So she is still showing up to a beauty expo-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... where, I want you to understand, in the business world, it's like going to a convention where everybody that you have ever fooled around with, who has then broken up with you, is attending.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
So everybody that has said no to her-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes. Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
... you know, she walks in and it's like, "Oh, here's this chick again."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
The IT chick, right?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yep. Yep.
- MRMel Robbins
The IT cosmetics person that has been sending me this stuff and calling me and we have told her, "No, do not make eye contact." So you are now at-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I love it (laughs) .
- MRMel Robbins
... this thing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
This describes it exactly.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes!
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Everyone you fooled around with who broke up with you and they're like, "Oh, don't make eye contact."
- 48:39 – 52:29
Jamie’s biggest life lesson she has ever gotten
- JLJamie Kern Lima
one of the greatest life lessons I've ever learned to this day, um, and h- here's what I mean by that. So I found out I get one shot and, uh, then I learn it's consignment, which means they... Uh, so first of all, I had to sell over 6,000 units of our concealer in this 10-minute window to hit their sales goal.... or not come back, which was about, like, 130,000, $140,000 of product in a ten-minute window.
- MRMel Robbins
I also wanna point out to everybody, that's ten years of sales on her website at the current-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... amount. So sh- in ten minutes, everybody-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... she, on live television-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... has to move ten years worth of volume she was selling on her website at that time.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
In one sho- uh, one-
- MRMel Robbins
In one shot.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
And she'd never done this before. I realize you're a television anchor, but this is a totally different thing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Well, QVC, it's... I mean, you know, it's... unlike stores where you can walk in and there's thousands of products in one s- space, their one minute of airtime can get one product. So, you're competing with the volume of, like, Apple iPhone or Dyson vacuum. You have to hit these high sales goals.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And what I quickly learned was the offer was consignment, which meant I wasn't guaranteed to be paid for it. I had to figure out, um, how to get a loan to cover the cost of manufacturing, uh, 6,000 units of product, shipping it in, going through legal, going through QC, going through all of it. And then I learned if I go on air and it doesn't sell, I have to take it all back-
- MRMel Robbins
Oh my God.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and therefore go out of business, right? So you should never ever ever accept a purchase order you can't afford to lose, uh, ever. But at this point, it was like, "I think I'm... uh, I don't know what else to do."
- MRMel Robbins
This is it.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
"This is it."
- MRMel Robbins
This is the shot.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
This is it. And so here's what happened. We went to 22 banks. Uh, they all said no, and they probably should have. Um, the 23rd bank, which was California Bank and Trust, and, uh, uh, gave us, uh, a loan that covered our very first, um, purchase order and a little bit more. So I took the little bit more. We hired third-party consultants. I'm like, "I'm going all in. I wanna do the best ten minutes-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... I could possibly do. I, I wanna, I wanna have no regrets." And they all told me the same thing.
- MRMel Robbins
Which is?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Which is, "If you want a chance at making it, here's what you need to do. You need to use this type of model to demonstrate your product, which is flawless skin, early 20s, all the same skin tone." And I'm like, "Okay. But that's inauthentic. That's not why I'm building this brand." I'm like, "What if I put models in their 70s and then... uh, and someone with hyperpigmentation and someone with acne and, and what if I take my own makeup off on national TV and I could prove live how the product works?" And they were mortified. And here's the thing, Mel. They wanted me to win. Like, they were giving me the best advice that they know how. And I-
- MRMel Robbins
This had never been done. So where... is this 2011?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
This is 2010. Yeah, end of 2010.
- MRMel Robbins
So 2010, everybody.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
So this was not something people did.
- 52:29 – 57:58
Why trusting your GUT pays off
- MRMel Robbins
human beings-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
... no flawless models, no one with perfect skin, all ages, all body types-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yup. Yup.
- MRMel Robbins
... did people say, "Wait, you can't take them on the air," or was there any... like, were people like, "Oh, h- she's g-... this is, this is gonna be terrible"? Like, what was that like when you walked in? Did they even know you were gonna take your makeup off?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Um, I let them... yeah, I let them know I wanted to, and QVC was great. You know? The... here's the thing about QVC, is, like, they want everyone to be their authentic selves.
- MRMel Robbins
Yup.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It's just this has never been done this way before.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I wish I could say it was easy for me to just go, "I'm just gonna go with my knowing," but the truth is, I flew out there a week early, Mel. I sat in a rental car in the parking lot, cried every day. I actually second-guessed myself. I'm like, "If I do it... maybe I'll do it their way first, then I'll make money, then I'll do it my way." Uh, but I know that, you know, authenticity... you can't fake authenticity. And authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success, but what I do know is in- inauthenticity guarantees failure every time.
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, everybody stop the professor. Class (laughs) is in session. Did you hear that? That inauthenticity, being fake-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... trying to do something everybody else's way because that's just... you're too insecure to do it your way-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... that never guarantees success.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Authenticity, your knowing, your special spin on things-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... that is the pathway to purpose and success.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
There is no other way.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And so after a week of crying in your rental car in the parking lot at QVC-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... you were like, "I'm going with the knowing."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I'm going with the knowing. Um-
- MRMel Robbins
And so tell us about that first appearance. You're standing there on a television set.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
There's a bazillion cameras. The lights are bright.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- 57:58 – 1:02:47
Jamie’s advice if you have been rejected over and over
- JLJamie Kern Lima
and, "You're not the right fit."
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And, and, and, and what I love for, for anyone listening who needs to hear this is no one can tell you you're not the right fit. No one. And you can get all the nos in the world, but you have your knowing. And, and, and, and by the way, I believe this, Mel. I believe even when you trust your knowing and then it seems like it was wrong and things don't go your way over and over and over, like, I look back at those moments, right? I really wanted that investor to invest in us. Thank God he didn't.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh, God.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
When I say everything's happening for us, what I mean is, like, if he... I was so desperate that if he would've invested in us then, I probably would've given him the majority of the company for probably-
- MRMel Robbins
Right, right.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... almost no money, right? By the time, many years, six years later, after that day, six years later, when, um, L'Oreal bought this little company I started in my living room for $1.2 billion cash, it was still the... I was the largest shareholder. Paulo and I were the largest shareholders. And I look back and it's like, oh, gosh, thank God the- the, all the nos happened when they did. Even when they sucked, even when it felt like it wasn't fair.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Um, and I can look at that in many scenarios. Sometimes we don't have some big positive outcome, but we learn a purpose through a no.
- MRMel Robbins
Right.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Right? We learn a calling through a no. Um, we learn a lesson. We build strength. We build resiliency. We appreciate the beautiful moments so much more when we've gone through the tough ones.
- MRMel Robbins
So, have you ever seen that investor since?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs) I have not seen him. Uh, the day that we-
- MRMel Robbins
Of course I ask the petty question. I'm like, have you ever, like, seen him to, like, twist a little knife in there? Okay.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So, so, uh, I heard from him one time.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Never again. And it was six years later, the day that L'Oreal announced the deal. So because they're a public company, they announced, um, you know, that they had acquired It Cosmetics, made me the first woman to hold a CEO title of a brand in their 107-year history. They did the big press release. So-
- MRMel Robbins
That's kind of surprising. 107 years, L'Oreal, a makeup company, you're... It ta-... It took them that long to have the first female CEO of a brand?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I hope they have many more now. That is my prayer.
- MRMel Robbins
Yes.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah, yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah. You were, you were the trailblazer there too.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It's, uh, it's been, yeah, so many things. (laughs) It has been a journey. And here's the thing, Mel. It was another woman inside L'Oreal. It was Carol Hamilton, who was head of luxury for North America. She'd been there, gosh, 30 plus years, and she championed-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... for me to keep my CEO title, all the things. Like, it was another woman saying, "Oh." And, and it's funny because I actually think she should've been the first woman. You know what I mean?
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
And I think, again, um, there's an example, by the way, of, of, I believe... I'm not gonna speak for her. I believe she knows. This is my opinion. I think she probably knows she should be the first fe- female CEO, but look how she used what she went through to then, boom, be a purpose and of service and help make sure that I kept my CEO title. Um, you know, everything we go through. Um, but, so, so they announced it, right? So all of a sudden it was homepage of Wall Street Journal, the press everywhere. And that was the first time and only time since that I heard from that potential investor.
- MRMel Robbins
And what did he say?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
He said, "Congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong," is what he said.
- MRMel Robbins
Oh.
- 1:02:47 – 1:04:34
The definition of true power
- MRMel Robbins
is about seeing that in front of you-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... not behind you.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
That the- the rejections that you're facing right now, that you can look ahead and realize it's protecting you in this moment. Um, I had, like a couple other questions that I wanted to ask you, because after doing something so extraordinary, and you also have made a huge difference in, uh, women's lives around the world because you are extraordinarily philanthropic-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... $40 million worth of product and monetary donations, um, to people that are struggling with cancer, and what is next for you?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Because you are right now in the middle of figuring out on this next leg of the journey called life what your purpose is-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... and what your next thing is going to be. What tools are you using, or how are you thinking about it? And it's really important topic because so many people, particularly after the last three years, have had a profound life change thrust on them.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And they're looking ahead at an open road wondering what their purpose is gonna be, what they're going to do. Can you just speak to that person for a minute-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... about how you're going about figuring it out?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. So one thing I just wanna, um, remind everyone too, Mel, 'cause I think people put
- 1:04:34 – 1:07:59
The truth about finding your purpose
- JLJamie Kern Lima
so much pressure on themselves that their purpose has to be their job-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... or their next job. And a lot of times, we can be doing a job that's fine, and- and- and maybe f- for family reasons, we need that health coverage and we need that paycheck. And- and- and your purpose can be found in the things you do outside of that, right? There's a lot of ways, uh, to listen to that knowing and your gut and- and- and then when it feels right, you know that's aligned with- with who you're born to be-
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and how you're born to, um, show up in the world. And so for me right now, um, you know, there's that famous saying, "Just 'cause you can, should you?" Right?
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
There's a big part of me now with all these, you know... Could I go launch a bunch of businesses? Yes. (laughs) Right? Um, and what I feel drawn to is- is- is literally...'Cause here's the deal. Yes, I've built a billion-dollar business. Yes, I have other companies I invest in, but-
- MRMel Robbins
You also are married and you have two beautiful children.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes, a two-year-old and four-year-old.
- MRMel Robbins
And you're incredibly, uh, devoted to your family.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm. Well, and here's the thing. It's like that's all part of my story, but when I l- when I- when I look at my real story, i- i- it meaning the part that ties deeply to- to my purpose, like my real story as a girl who went from not believing in herself-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... to learning how to. And so when I wake up in the morning and I think about the things I've done so far, the things I hope for my kids, for... i- is- is... uh, and how I built a billion-dollar business, it was really through seeing women, helping them see themselves-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... and believe in themselves and believe they are worthy and enough. And that's what makes... like that's what fires me up every morning. So when I think about what I'm stepping into next-
- MRMel Robbins
Yeah.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
... um, you know, I wrote Believe It!, um, which is about my book about how to go from underestimated to unstoppable, donated all the proceeds. I'm donating all the proceeds, 100%. Um, I funded leadership-
- MRMel Robbins
Hold on, hold on. Um, let's just underscore that. So she writes a New York Times bestseller, donates all the proceeds from the book-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... to nonprofits. Just donates 'em.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. And the book is just, um, for me-
- MRMel Robbins
It's incredible.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm, thank you.
- MRMel Robbins
It's like a little manual that you should have on your bedside table 'cause Jamie will be smiling at you.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And you'll see that you're not alone, that we're in this together. And her example of learning how to go from doubting herself to believing in herself is the journey that each and every one of us is on.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And so you're kind of in this soup of knowing that this is the area where you wanna focus the impact.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
But you're not... Being a very, very, very good friend of yours, I know that you're not... it's still a fuzzy target, so to speak-
- 1:07:59 – 1:14:10
2 exercises to help have your own ‘AHA’ moment
- MRMel Robbins
But if you're in the soup-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
... and you don't have the vision yet, is there an exercise or something that you would recommend that we all do while we're waiting for that clarity and that epiphany to strike?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. Two things. One, waiting for it to be perfect can be the lowest vibration, big- biggest excuse-
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Uh, number one reason why people just never try and never get started. So, I don't think... I think it's rare to ever have complete clarity, like, this is exactly perfect for... And that's why, you know, I think, I think, uh, two things. I think just taking a step and seeing how it feels is good, tuning into your knowing. I also think, you know, Dean, so, we... So, so, you mentioned our friend, Dean, who was saying that the fuzzy target, you know, he, he was saying something to me recently about, you know, almost like when you're about to aim a, a bow and arrow, and you're about to let go of the arrow. He's like, "You can aim and, and turn it and twist it a few times before you let go of the arrow." It's okay to wait a little bit and just make sure you're gonna aim at the right thing.
- MRMel Robbins
Hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Um, and, you know, so, so this year, for example, um, I've kinda been doing that. I've been saying, "How do things feel?" You know, I have the gift and blessing of being here with you right now. Saying-
- MRMel Robbins
How does this feel?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
It feels amazing.
- MRMel Robbins
So, does this mean you-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I love you.
- MRMel Robbins
... you're gonna do a talk show?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs) Maybe, maybe. You could, you could teach me all the ropes, Mel, and then, um, yeah, but I, I-
- MRMel Robbins
Partly. I am a failed talk show host.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Uh, okay. There, n- don't even. You wanna-
- MRMel Robbins
That is true.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
This is the hardest-
- MRMel Robbins
My talk show got canceled.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Why?
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Because, uh-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I can tell you why. Go ahead. Go ahead.
- MRMel Robbins
Well, I was gonna apply the lessons from Professor Purpose.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
But I'd like to hear you tell me why.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I think our steps are ordered. Why? I think because you're gonna own all of what you're doing and make it so much bigger than anyone else who owned it could have made it.
- MRMel Robbins
Mm-hmm.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
So-
- 1:14:10 – 1:18:37
Why going after your dreams is YOUR responsibility
- MRMel Robbins
thing that you have to give to the world. It is not only your responsibility in life to stay connected to your knowing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
It is your responsibility to advocate for it, because only you have seen it in your heart and mind. Of course your family says no. They don't even know what they're, you're talking about, 'cause they only know the person that you've been in the past.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Of course the investor is gonna say no. Why? Because they only know what they know. Your knowing is yours.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
And you have to stay connected to it, and you have to keep describing it or advocating for it or explaining it to people so that they can see it too. And it's not until you demonstrate what you see in your own heart and mind, by continuing to walk toward it, continuing to talk about it, continuing to believe in it, that it will become a reality. And that's why people say no.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
Because it's your knowing-
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
... not theirs.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And so in a weird way, a ton of nos, or a lot of friction or bumping up against things as you're trying, you can't understand, "Why don't people get this? Why isn't this working?" It's because it's your knowing, not theirs.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- MRMel Robbins
Amazing.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yeah. And-
- MRMel Robbins
Okay, so the surprise.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Okay.
- MRMel Robbins
So my... Jamie Kern Lima has just given you a fricking masterclass. She put you in the seat next to her as we have driven down a 15-year journey in her life.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
And just insight after insight after insight. And I'm really excited because Jamie also wanted to talk to you.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Yes.
- MRMel Robbins
And I know you're gonna have a bazillion questions, and so here's how we're gonna do this. Just go to the comments. And in all caps, and we will put this in our, um, description below, in all caps just say, "Question for Jamie. Question for Jamie."
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I love it. (laughs)
- MRMel Robbins
And we are going to consolidate all of your questions, and we're gonna have Jamie back. And we are going to do an episode where literally a woman who went from starting this company in her living room all the way to selling it for $1.2 billion, and who has demonstrated what it looks like to tap into your knowing, to just turn those rejections into protection, to keep stepping in an ordered way through her life, she is going to be here at zero cost for you to answer your questions. Because that is who Jamie Kern Lima is.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
Hmm.
- MRMel Robbins
That is why I love you.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
I love you.
- MRMel Robbins
You're just the freaking best.
- JLJamie Kern Lima
(laughs)
Episode duration: 1:18:37
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