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How to Get Unstuck: Do This to Create the Future You Want

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Today’s episode is a roadmap for reaching your potential. If you are feeling stuck in a rut, behind in life, or just a little bored by your life, this episode is for you. There are a few simple steps you can take to quickly get unstuck – and it’s easier than you think. Dr. Adam Alter, one of the top psychology experts and professors in the world, is joining Mel on the podcast today to help you uncover the extraordinary potential that is laying dormant inside of you. Dr. Alter is a New York Times bestselling author, a renowned researcher, and a professor at NYU’s Stern School of Business. Whether you’re trying to level up an already successful life, have a breakthrough on a creative project, or you need a reset in every aspect of your life, you’ll love the 3 steps that Dr. Alter is sharing with you today. Dr. Adam Alter’s website: adamalterauthor.com For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-191 Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. 00:00:00: Introduction 00:03:28: Why it’s normal to feel “stuck” in your life. 00:06:38: What does it mean when people feel stuck? 00:10:30: Do THIS to get out of your own way to get unstuck. 00:16:51: The best thing you can do to make your life better. 00:18:51: When you hit difficulties in life, this is your instinct. 00:20:00: These are the ages when people tend to think deeper. 00:23:20: How to approach these difficult ages where we overthink. 00:25:00: How to create more meaning when struggling with the meaning of life. 00:28:13: Goals you can set to help yourself through difficult times. 00:31:26: The connection between feeling stuck is like feeling lost. 00:33:50: Why is it so critical to have something that we are working on in our life? 00:35:22: How to deal with feeling stuck when everyone around you is trying to help. 00:38:30: The best advice for someone to go for it after going through a hard time. — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostDr. Adam Alterguest
Jul 10, 202451mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Science-Backed Roadmap To Get Unstuck And Unlock Your Potential

  1. Mel Robbins and NYU professor Dr. Adam Alter explore why feeling stuck is universal and not a personal failure, and how modern life’s emptiness and repetition contribute to that sense of stagnation.
  2. Alter explains two main types of stuckness—clear-goal stuck (knowing what you want but not progressing) and diffuse stuck (general blah/meaninglessness)—and argues that both can be addressed with a structured process.
  3. Central to his approach are friction audits (identifying and reducing what drags you down), setting meaningful but arbitrary goals to restore a sense of agency, and taking minimally viable actions to build momentum.
  4. They also discuss how to use life transitions, experimentation, failure, and the right mix of people around you to create breakthroughs in careers, relationships, health, and overall direction.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Feeling stuck is universal, not a personal defect.

Alter’s research shows virtually everyone reports being stuck in at least one area; recognizing this normalizes the experience, reduces shame, and frees up energy to take action instead of ruminating on “why me.”

Do a friction audit to locate what’s really holding you back.

Systematically list the people, tasks, and situations that create the most resistance, resentment, or dread, then decide which to eliminate, delegate, or accept—focusing on raising your “lows” has more impact than adding more highs.

Set a meaningful, concrete goal to shift from victimhood to agency.

Choosing a goal—athletic, intellectual, or creative—signals to yourself that you can move toward something; the specific goal matters less than what it proves about your ability to commit, progress, and achieve.

Use minimally viable actions to overcome inertia.

Instead of waiting to feel ready for big moves, define the smallest, low-pressure step in the right direction (e.g., a 10‑minute research task or “worst possible” practice session) to build momentum and self-trust.

Treat stuck phases as experiments, not verdicts on your worth.

Explore multiple options deliberately—sample different jobs, workouts, skills, or approaches—before drilling down on one; cycling between exploration and exploitation prevents paralysis and leads to better long-term fits.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Getting stuck and being stuck is universal. It's part of what it is to be human.

— Dr. Adam Alter

We are often as good as the worst stuff that's going on.

— Dr. Adam Alter

The single best thing you can do if you feel stuck is to take a minimally viable action.

— Dr. Adam Alter

All those things that are causing friction are what are keeping you stuck, but you're not doing anything about it.

— Mel Robbins

You cannot do both at the same time. You can’t both be exploring all your options and really drilling deep into one thing.

— Dr. Adam Alter

The universality and psychology of feeling stuckTwo types of stuckness: goal-specific vs. diffuse meaninglessnessFriction audits: identifying and removing life friction pointsUsing goals and temporal landmarks to regain direction and agencyMinimally viable actions and habit-building to create momentumReframing failure and using experimentation to find the right pathLeveraging relationships and diverse perspectives (brain trust) to get unstuck

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