The Mel Robbins Podcast

How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Ready to level up? ⬆️🚀 https://bit.ly/takecontrol2023 👈 Sign up for my FREE 3-part science-backed training, Take Control with Mel Robbins! It’s designed specifically to help you step back into excellence, take ACTION, and create the life you deserve 🌟 — In this episode, you’re learning a simple but powerful way to take control of your #mindset. You need to get serious about your mindset. The way you think and talk to yourself has serious consequences. Your thoughts become your beliefs. Your beliefs turn into actions. Your actions become #habits. And your habits determine who you are and what you achieve in life, or not. If you’re tired of listening to a voice that beats you down, fills you with doubt, and argues against your #goals and #dreams, it’s time to change your thinking. I’m so confident you’re going to be fired up after listening to this episode that I have a free gift to help you take your current mindset to the next level. I have a brand new, zero-cost, 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins." It will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life. It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum, and a 21-page workbook. Plus you’ll be with hundreds of thousands of other students taking the course for free around the world. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Why not take advantage of this opportunity? Sign up at https://www.melrobbins.com/takecontrol Xo Mel In this episode, you'll learn: 00:00 Intro 04:42 What does your default critical soundtrack sound like in your mind? 08:28 Here’s the mantra I want you to start your day with. 10:36 This is one of my easiest and favorite tools for dealing with a critical voice. 13:52 This is the #1 hit playlist I want you to put on repeat. 16:09 Drop this word if you want to improve your relationship with others. 22:01 Work on the most important relationship of all first. 24:52 What if your critics are the voices of your boss, partner, and friends? 27:48 This trauma response is very common when you live in a state of anxiety. 30:49 Here’s why telling yourself that you love yourself doesn’t work for you. 32:24 Yes, your boss may be a douche, but you don’t have to let that ruin you. 38:02 Don’t leave today without taking away this message — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostGuest (Poppy)guest

Apr 20, 202343mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Mel Robbins Teaches Real Listeners How To Rewire Self‑Destructive Thoughts

Mel Robbins coaches two listeners, Poppy and Diane, through dismantling deeply ingrained negative self-talk rooted in critical parenting, narcissistic relationships, and abuse. She explains that you don’t “turn off” the inner critic; you overwrite it with a new, deliberately chosen mental soundtrack. Through concrete tools like naming the negative voice, using believable mantras, and adding self-compassion, she shows how to separate other people’s programming from your true self. Robbins closes by emphasizing that anyone can change their mindset, nervous system regulation, and habits without spending money, if they’re willing to do the daily work.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

You can’t silence old programming, but you can overwrite it.

Robbins reframes default negative thoughts as an old playlist; instead of trying to make it disappear, you deliberately create and repeat a new "soundtrack" until it becomes your brain’s default.

Name your inner critic to weaken its power.

By giving the critical voice a separate name (like “Vicky”) and literally telling it to “shut up,” you create psychological distance between your true self and inherited, harmful beliefs.

Choose mantras you actually believe, not fake positivity.

Statements like “I deserve to be happy” or “I’m a kind person doing the best I can” work better than “I love myself” if your brain has spent years arguing against self-love.

Recognize that much of your inner criticism isn’t actually yours.

Critical, narcissistic, or abusive parents and partners often install beliefs like “everything is my fault” or “who do you think you are?”; realizing this was programmed by others is the first step to rejecting it.

Use compassion to reduce the emotional charge, without excusing abuse.

Seeing parents as limited people doing the best they could (while still naming abuse and keeping boundaries) helps you stop personalizing their behavior and softens your own self-judgment.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

You have the chance to be the one that this playlist dies with.

— Mel Robbins

You’re not to blame for the crap that your parents put in your brain. You’re responsible, now that you’re an adult, for reprogramming this.

— Mel Robbins

Your brain will reject any mantra that you choose, that you have actively tried to disprove.

— Mel Robbins

Not everything’s about me. Thank God.

— Mel Robbins

You can stop torturing yourself. Can you start encouraging yourself? You better believe you can.

— Mel Robbins

Mindset reset and reprogramming default mental "soundtracks"Impact of critical, abusive, and narcissistic relationships on self-talkTechniques for separating your identity from the inner criticThe role of self-compassion in healing generational and emotional traumaUsing believable mantras and thought substitution instead of empty affirmationsUnderstanding nervous system dysregulation and memory gaps from chronic stressTaking adult responsibility to heal, set boundaries, and build new habits

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