If You Feel Overwhelmed & Uncertain About Money, Watch This

1. 0:00 – 16:16

   Welcome

   1. LHLewis Howes0:00

      (instrumental music plays) I'm a grown man in my young 20s, but I feel like a child because I'm sleeping on my sister's couch. She's providing, she's taking care of me, she's feeding me. You don't feel worthy if you can't take care of yourself. I had no backup plan, no college degree, no money, so it was like, "What's the point of this?"

   2. MRMel Robbins0:19

      Right around 2008, my husband had got into the restaurant business and we had secured the whole thing with our house like complete morons.

   3. LHLewis Howes0:26

      Mm.

   4. MRMel Robbins0:26

      We also cashed out every credit card we could get and took out a home equity line, loan. Cashed out the kids' college savings, the 401ks, all of it.

   5. LHLewis Howes0:34

      All of it?

   6. MRMel Robbins0:35

      All of it, Lewis.

   7. LHLewis Howes0:35

      You had no investments left, you had no...

   8. MRMel Robbins0:37

      Nothing.

   9. LHLewis Howes0:38

      Really?

   10. MRMel Robbins0:38

       At that period in my life, my story for quite a while was, "We're never gonna get out of this. I'm never gonna fix this."

   11. LHLewis Howes0:46

       I think a lot of people think it needs to be hard and stressful to make money, and it doesn't need to be complicated. You just need to learn the tools and have the courage to be curious to understand more. I am certain and know that you are lovable and you are deserving of love, and I don't want your past wounds, I don't want your money struggles to get in the way of you knowing that. So there are three key steps to improving your relationship with money. The first one is to- (suspenseful music plays)

   12. MRMel Robbins1:19

       Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so excited for our conversation today. I'm excited that you're here. It is always an honor to spend time with you, to be together. If you're a new listener, ooh, you've picked a winner. Welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. And because you made time to hit play and to listen to this particular episode, I know you're the type of person who values your time. And what's that saying? Time is money. You wanna make more money, you wanna get good with money, and not only do you wanna get good with money, you wanna transform your financial future. Well, I'll tell you what, you're in the right place. And if you chose to listen to this because someone shared this episode with you, I just think that's so cool because it means you have people in your life who not only care about you, they want you to make money. They want you to have a fantastic financial future. They want you to be rich. I mean, just imagine that future. I can see that for you. And look, you're not gonna be rich by the end of this episode, but you're going to leave with something more valuable. You're going to get the building blocks and the simple tools that will create a different financial future for you, and you're also going to learn the step-by-step approach from two people who had to completely rebuild their financial life from the ground up. So if you've been bad with money, today you're gonna learn how to start getting good with money. And you don't need to be embarrassed by where you are because I'm going to tell you where I've been, and it's probably way worse than where you are today. See, I used to be like a walking financial red flag. If, if you were a credit card company, I would not have given Mel Robbins a credit card. If I were a bank, I would not have given Mel Robbins a mortgage. If I were a bill that was being delivered to Mel Robbins' house, I would not have expected to have been paid. I'm about to tell you some very embarrassing stories about how bad I used to be with money. So if you've got unpaid bills, if you're living paycheck to paycheck, if you've got insane, embarrassing credit card debt or student loans that are burying you alive, I have been there. I know that pain because I have felt that pain, and I need you to hear me say this: you can get good with money. In fact, you can learn how to be great with it. It took me 15 years to climb out of the financial hellhole that I had created for myself and learn the skills and habits that led me to where I am today, and I want you to learn from my mistakes. So today, I'm gonna walk you step-by-step through the things that you should be doing immediately to change your financial future starting today. And I'm gonna be doing it with the help of a very good friend of mine who is our guest in our Boston studios today. I'm talking about the one and only Lewis Howes. Lewis is a two-time New York Times best-selling author. He's also a two-time All-American athlete. You may recognize his name or his voice because for the last 12 years he has hosted the School of Greatness podcast, where he interviews some of the most successful people on the planet in business, entertainment, sports, science, health, medicine, money, and so much more. And here's what I love about Lewis: he's been where I was, dead broke, no clue of what to do next, but he figured it out, just like I figured it out, and that means you can figure it out for you too. And today, he and I are joining forces to help you unlock your financial greatness, and what I love is that Lewis, he's just a regular guy. We're not talking fancy degrees or complicated talk about markets. He was able to turn his life around using the tools he's gonna share with you today. He's also written a brand new book called Make Money Easy, which I've read and it's fantastic. So are you ready to get good with money? I thought so. So please help me welcome my friend Lewis Howes to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Lewis Howes, welcome to Boston, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so fired up that you're here.

   13. LHLewis Howes5:22

       I'm pumped.

   14. MRMel Robbins5:23

       Well, I wanna congratulate you.

   15. LHLewis Howes5:25

       Thank you.

   16. MRMel Robbins5:25

       I think this is your best work ever.

   17. LHLewis Howes5:29

       Thank you.

   18. MRMel Robbins5:30

       And it is hitting the world at a moment where money feels so hard.

   19. LHLewis Howes5:35

       Mm.

   20. MRMel Robbins5:36

       And finances feel hard and the news headlines are hard, and so I cannot wait for you to share with us how to make money easy.

   21. LHLewis Howes5:47

       Thank you. Yeah.

   22. MRMel Robbins5:48

       And I wanted to start by having you speak directly to the person who is with us right now. This is somebody who does not have a lot of time-

   23. LHLewis Howes5:57

       Mm-hmm.

   24. MRMel Robbins5:58

       ... but they have made time.... to be able to learn from you. Could you tell them what they might expect to change about their life if they take everything that you and I are about to share with them today and they put it to use?

   25. LHLewis Howes6:12

       Now more than ever, it seems like it's scarier than ever because you don't know if you're gonna have a job in six to 12 months with AI. You don't know if you can afford your bills, uh, your rent, your car payments, food. Like you said, you know, egg prices are going through the roof. It's like $10 for an egg or something now. Gas prices are through the roof. The economy, inflation is still high. It just seems like harder and harder to get ahead, to stay ahead, and to get more than month to month ahead. So now more than ever, there's uncertainty and fear, and it seems scary. But it's also a time of great opportunity if you can have clarity on what you want, why you want it, and where the money's gonna go. I think a lot of people think it needs to be hard and stressful to make money, and it, and it needs to be complicated. And it doesn't need to be complicated. You just need to learn the tools and have the courage to be curious to understand more.

   26. MRMel Robbins7:15

       Well, and the other thing that's, that is applicable here is that if you're listening and you're in the middle of reinvention-

   27. LHLewis Howes7:23

       Uh-huh.

   28. MRMel Robbins7:23

       ... 'cause something has happened in your life, or you're in a decade where you feel like you don't know who you are or what your purpose is and you're just feeling overwhelmed and lost, you could actually find purpose by saying, "I'm gonna learn how to be good with money."

   29. LHLewis Howes7:39

       Yes.

   30. MRMel Robbins7:40

       But if we go back in time-
2. 16:16 – 28:53

   How Lewis Climbed Out of Debt

   1. MRMel Robbins16:16

      So how did you start making money?

   2. LHLewis Howes16:17

      At that time in 2007, '8, and '9, LinkedIn was just getting started really, and the president of my school that I had a relationship with, I reached out to him, and he said, "Go on LinkedIn and, and try to find a job on, on LinkedIn." So that's what I did. I just took his advice, and I started emailing and messaging executives in Columbus, Ohio and asking them to meet with me. And I started going to Toastmasters 'cause I was afraid of public speaking, and at Toastmasters, this is when I started to develop skills. At Toastmasters, I met really great public speakers who were executives in my, my city as well, and some of those started helping me out. I remember one time I went to a Toastmasters session, which is for public speaking. This was when I was in my cast. I went to this Toastmasters. (thumping sound) I swear to God. I had to have a cutoff shirt because shirts wouldn't fit over the cast. It was so bulky. I had to have a cutoff shirt. I went to this Toastmasters. I give speeches like this, believe it or not. This is crazy. Like Rook- the guy from Rookie of the Year-

   3. MRMel Robbins17:15

      (laughs)

   4. LHLewis Howes17:15

      ... but I didn't have superpowers with that. And so I'd get up in front of a podium and give a speech, and I'd stutter. I was terrified. I could not speak. I would read aloud word-for-word the thing that I would say like this, you know, and I'd speak word-for-word, and I wouldn't look up at anyone. I was so terrified. But I knew at that moment that if I didn't go all m- all in on my fears, the fears would never disappear, so I just said, "I gotta go all in on this." And at this one Toastmasters club that I went to, they had like, I don't know, like, snacks in the back, and I shit you not, this was-

   5. MRMel Robbins17:48

      (laughs)

   6. LHLewis Howes17:48

      This is so sad, but this is what it took at that time. I had really baggy jeans that I would wear and a cutoff shirt to this, like, professional board meeting, speaking. In the back, they had, you know, carrots and broccoli and, like, dip, and I was getting napkins, stuffing, carrots and broccoli and crackers in my pockets 'cause I had no fo- I had no money for food at this time. And this guy taps me on the shoulder. He goes, "What are you doing?" I go-... I literally was like, "Uh, I don't have any money." I'm sleeping on my sister's couch, like, I just got injured playing football. I'm trying to figure out life. And he said, "Let me get you some lunch." He took me down the street, got me some lunch, and he became one of my mentors, named Frank Agin, and he coached me on public speaking. We wrote my first book together. He co-wrote it with me, a book about LinkedIn, after about a year and a half. So, I was just putting myself out there to learn new skills and meeting people, and people started helping me by, when I put myself out there. These are embarrassing stories that I don't tell anymore because it's like, I didn't have any money. I was taking food wherever I could get it and stuffing it in my pockets. That's how bad it was.

   7. MRMel Robbins18:56

      Well, yeah, but I think the important thing here is that you were not sitting on your sister's couch.

   8. LHLewis Howes19:02

      I took massive action.

   9. MRMel Robbins19:03

      You took massive actions.

   10. LHLewis Howes19:05

       I was emailing people. I was going to clubs. I was learning salsa dancing. I was like, "Whatever I can do to develop skills-

   11. MRMel Robbins19:11

       And by the way-

   12. LHLewis Howes19:13

       ... I need to do it."

   13. MRMel Robbins19:13

       ... reaching out through LinkedIn made you an expert on LinkedIn-

   14. LHLewis Howes19:16

       Yes.

   15. MRMel Robbins19:17

       ... which is what you then started marketing yourself as.

   16. LHLewis Howes19:19

       Started making money around that skill that I'd developed.

   17. MRMel Robbins19:22

       Correct.

   18. LHLewis Howes19:22

       Something I had no clue how to use in the beginning and made a lot of mistakes around, I eventually learned to master it. And people started coming to me and saying, "Hey, can you teach me about how you're using LinkedIn to build all these relationships and network with mentors and leaders?" And I started hosting these LinkedIn networking events for free around the country because I was building groups and communities on LinkedIn and bringing people together. I didn't know how to make money with it at first, but then someone said, "Hey, can I have a, a sponsorship booth here and promote my business for 200 bucks?" And I said, "Sure. Okay, ding, ding, ding, let me sell more sponsorships." Then someone said, "Will you do one-on-one consulting with me to optimize my LinkedIn profile?" "Sure." Okay, they paid me. Then I said, "Why don't I just write a book about this and sell the book at these events?"

   19. MRMel Robbins20:08

       Mm.

   20. LHLewis Howes20:08

       So that's where all these things started to come. It was right in front of me. This wasn't like, my dream and my life is to teach people about LinkedIn. But the money was available right there. So, it was part of the mission to make that money to help me get out of debt, to help me get off my sister's couch, to be able to pay for my own apartment, to buy my own food, all these different things, to not rely on anyone else. As I started to save that money and have more in the bank and realize I'm not gonna go broke, I had maybe two years of runway of savings, and I was also living very beneath my means. I was paying 495 a month for rent in Columbus, Ohio. I didn't have a car, I walked everywhere. I mean, I was living frugal life.

   21. MRMel Robbins20:50

       Wow, as the LinkedIn guy.

   22. LHLewis Howes20:51

       As the LinkedIn guy.

   23. MRMel Robbins20:52

       Wow.

   24. LHLewis Howes20:52

       And I was taking Greyhound buses, you know, f- to, to events. I was like-

   25. MRMel Robbins20:56

       Oh, 'cause, 'cause you're like around the country. I'm like, "How the hell is he p-" So now, now I know how you're-

   26. LHLewis Howes21:00

       I was taking-

   27. MRMel Robbins21:00

       ... paying for it. You're taking the bus. (laughs)

   28. LHLewis Howes21:01

       I was taking the bus. I was taking, like, the cheapest middle seat of the back of, like, Southwest, wherever I could go. I was staying on friends' couches. I was afraid to spend at that time also. I would stash it, but I wouldn't spend it, 'cause I didn't wanna go back to the couch and be broke again.

   29. MRMel Robbins21:15

       Same, same.

   30. LHLewis Howes21:15

       And there's a season for everything, right?
3. 28:53 – 33:00

   The Value of Small, Consistent Actions

   1. LHLewis Howes28:53

      generous-

   2. MRMel Robbins28:53

      So if you were-

   3. LHLewis Howes28:53

      Yep.

   4. MRMel Robbins28:53

      ... giving advice to you-

   5. LHLewis Howes28:55

      Yes.

   6. MRMel Robbins28:55

      ... when you were on your sister's couch stuffing broccoli in your pockets-

   7. LHLewis Howes28:59

      Uh-huh. (laughs)

   8. MRMel Robbins28:59

      ... said, like, "You got nothing, dude." How do you be generous and adopt that-

   9. LHLewis Howes29:03

      Mm-hmm.

   10. MRMel Robbins29:04

       ... when you feel like you have nothing to give?

   11. LHLewis Howes29:06

       If you have no money to give, can you give time?

   12. MRMel Robbins29:08

       Oh, I love that.

   13. LHLewis Howes29:09

       And one of the things that got me to where I am, and you could s- you could probably tell because you've known me for eight years this month, we met eight years ago, and you've seen me over the years, and the thing that I bring to the table, I feel like, is I'm curious, and I ask people questions, and I get them to open up and talk about themselves in unique ways, just like you do. And that is a generous thing that we can do.

   14. MRMel Robbins29:34

       Mm-hmm.

   15. LHLewis Howes29:34

       And when I was early on, these mentors, I would reach out to people on LinkedIn, and in- initially I said, "Hey, can you give me some advice? I'm broke." And no one replied to me.

   16. MRMel Robbins29:44

       (laughs) I can't imagine why.

   17. LHLewis Howes29:46

       And no, no one replied to me because no one wants to give their time to someone who needs something from them. I was taking from them, "Hey, I'm broke. I've got no skills. Can you give me 20 minutes of your time so I can pick your brain?" I know you get that all the time. "We don't have time." So I realized, "Oh, this, this strategy isn't working. Let me actually dive in deeper on the person I'm wanting to learn from and actually research their story, learn about the things they overcame, read some articles about them, and see if I can, like, find something unique that is meaningful to them and see if they're willing to tell me about that." So I started emailing people differently, saying, "Gosh, it's really interesting how you, you overcame this one challenge in your career and you jumped to this position. I'd really love to hear about the mindset you had when you were facing that challenge and what got you there."... I'm not asking for advice.

   18. MRMel Robbins30:37

       Mm.

   19. LHLewis Howes30:38

       I'm asking for someone to relive a story that is triumphant for them. And one by one, people started replying and saying, "Yeah, I'll call you. I'll, I'll take you out to br-" They're buying me lunch just to tell me their story. And I'm not asking for advice, but they're giving me all the advice they have through their storytelling. And so, there's, if you don't have money, you can be generous with your time, you can be generous with your energy, with your questions, and you can have a generous attitude.

   20. MRMel Robbins31:03

       Mm.

   21. LHLewis Howes31:03

       You can be of service in some other way.

   22. MRMel Robbins31:05

       Mm.

   23. LHLewis Howes31:05

       You can show up to support at your local church. You can just call a friend and say, "Hey, I know you're struggling right now. Can I take you out? Can we go for a walk? Can I FaceTime you? Can we-"

   24. MRMel Robbins31:14

       Well, I love that because when you are really struggling, you tend to close yourself off to the world.

   25. LHLewis Howes31:19

       Yes.

   26. MRMel Robbins31:19

       And so I love this advice, 'cause energetically, you can feel like you're spinning.

   27. LHLewis Howes31:23

       Yes.

   28. MRMel Robbins31:24

       But am I doing anything to actually drive this forward? And you did that by just taking the action. It's like me opening up these bills-

   29. LHLewis Howes31:32

       Mm-hmm.

   30. MRMel Robbins31:33

       ... and just being like, "Can't pay that today-"
4. 33:00 – 37:49

   The #1 Skill to Build If You Want to Achieve Your Goals

   1. MRMel Robbins33:00

      are? Let's say the person listening is like-

   2. LHLewis Howes33:02

      Mm.

   3. MRMel Robbins33:02

      ... "Louis, if I wanna put myself in a position in the next two years to be able to earn six, seven figures, is there a particular skill that I should be leaning into right now?"

   4. LHLewis Howes33:14

      The skill I'm gonna say is leadership, but learning to lead yourself. It's not the skill that you think, which is like-

   5. MRMel Robbins33:19

      Yeah, I thought you were gonna say, "Learn to code AI."

   6. LHLewis Howes33:20

      Not AI, no, no, no.

   7. MRMel Robbins33:21

      I'm like lea- lead myself?

   8. LHLewis Howes33:22

      No, no.

   9. MRMel Robbins33:23

      How the hell am I gonna make six figures, Louis?

   10. LHLewis Howes33:24

       Because you might, there are certain hard skills you're gonna wanna learn. For me, public speaking was one of the greatest skills that I learned. It's more of a soft skill. Leadership overall is the skill that you wanna develop, learning to lead yourself, learning to navigate your emotions, learning to regulate your emotions, learning to believe in yourself, all of that self-leadership and self-emotional intelligence within you. And that takes reflection, that takes listening to this episode, that takes journaling, that takes having a great evening routine, morning routine. It's leading your life to be proud of you-

   11. MRMel Robbins33:59

       Mm.

   12. LHLewis Howes33:59

       ... and accepting of you. If you're not there yet, it just means, "Great, there's something I get to do every day to improve." Stack the wins every single day, so have a conversation with someone every single day for five minutes about money. Create a game plan in your morning routine about what three steps you're gonna take today to support-

   13. MRMel Robbins34:15

       Mm.

   14. LHLewis Howes34:15

       ... you on learning something new about money. Read 10 pages in a book, listen to this episode, have a conversation with a friend. Start stacking the wins with where you're at in your life, and if you have a lot of money, it might look different than if you don't have a lot of money.

   15. MRMel Robbins34:30

       Right.

   16. LHLewis Howes34:30

       But start stacking the wins so you feel the momentum of that money. And you're gonna feel more confident when you have that momentum. If you just feel stuck, you don't have momentum. So, in order to get m- unstuck, you have to start taking actions every single day. When I was 24, broke on my sister's couch, no clear game plan, I gave myself one, and it was a nine-month game plan, because it was like, around this time, it was like March in the beginning of the year, so I was like, "All right, by the end of this year, I wanna have one goal accomplished from money."

   17. MRMel Robbins35:01

       Mm.

   18. LHLewis Howes35:01

       And I did this, which was I wrote down $5,000. I just thought of something for me that seemed so unrealistic. Five grand at that time was like, "I don't know how I'm gonna make this money. I don't know where the money's gonna come from. I have no clue. But let me just write down a goal for myself, five grand." And I said, "How do I wanna make this money? I would like to make it from public speaking." I just got into public speaking classes at Toastmasters.

   19. MRMel Robbins35:25

       (laughs)

   20. LHLewis Howes35:25

       And I was like-

   21. MRMel Robbins35:26

       With your cast.

   22. LHLewis Howes35:26

       With my cast.

   23. MRMel Robbins35:27

       As you're stuffing broccoli in your pockets.

   24. LHLewis Howes35:28

       Exa- exactly, and reading word for word, not looking at the audience, like sweating out of my sh- my, you know, cutoff shirt-

   25. MRMel Robbins35:35

       (laughs)

   26. LHLewis Howes35:35

       ... smelling up the room. And I, and I literally said, "It would be a dream to make five grand from one speech," but it terrified me. I- it excited me and terrified me at the same time. So this is what I did. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, and I signed it with a date that I wanted to accomplish it by. I just wanted to create a visualization practice for myself with a clear goal and a clear date in mind.

   27. MRMel Robbins35:57

       Got it.

   28. LHLewis Howes35:57

       Five grand, date, by when, how I'm gonna do it. I put it on the wall. I framed it on my bedroom, right behind me on my wall. So every day I woke up, I turn around, I see the goal in mind. So I just had a clear direction. It wasn't like, "What I'm gonna do in 10 years," and, "I'm gonna be a millionaire one day." It was like, "I just wanna make five grand in nine months giving a speech. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I'm gonna show up every single week to Toastmasters to, to take action and get better at the skill."

   29. MRMel Robbins36:24

       Yep.

   30. LHLewis Howes36:25

       "And I'm gonna start giving free workshops through LinkedIn," which I started using LinkedIn to build relationships. So I said, "I'm gonna find a way to do free events, tell people I'll speak at their company, I'll do a lunch and learn. Whatever it is, I'll do anything for free to practice, to get reps." So every week, I went to public speaking class, and then I was doing free workshops for those next nine months.... at one point, someone gave me a hundred dollars and I was like, "This is incredible, I'm rich." And I just said, "Okay, I need to do more of this thing." And eventually, by the end, I shit you not, $5,000 for one speech came to me by the end of that date. And I think the deadline created such a level of urgency for me to take action. Again, I was working hard. It doesn't mean I was, like, just, like, "I'm gonna think it and money's gonna flow to me." That's not what this is about. I was showing up weekly, I was terrified weekly, and I showed up to develop skills for myself so that my value appreciated.
5. 37:49 – 45:32

   The 3 Key Steps to Improving Your Relationship with Money

   1. LHLewis Howes37:49

      to learn the tools and have the courage to be curious to understand more.

   2. MRMel Robbins37:55

      I am so in. Let's jump into the tools.

   3. LHLewis Howes37:57

      So there are three key steps to improving your relationship with money, and that's really the first thing that we need to understand. What is our relationship with money? The first one, really understanding your money wounds.

   4. MRMel Robbins38:06

      A money wound? What does that mean?

   5. LHLewis Howes38:06

      It becomes a money wound, which is a part of your money story.

   6. MRMel Robbins38:09

      Okay. W- a money story.

   7. LHLewis Howes38:11

      So, when you can write down and journal, "Here are some of the things that happened to me when I was younger around money that caused me to feel a little anxious, a little avoidant, that make me feel stressed about money," and just write down the stories that you remember. For me, I remember, uh, stealing money, I remember stealing candy bars at stores, I remember, um, the shame that I felt by getting caught when I was younger stealing money. And just, like, man, that was a wound. That was a trauma in my life.

   8. MRMel Robbins38:40

      Yeah.

   9. LHLewis Howes38:40

      I remember, also, this is a really sad story, I didn't really have many friends growing up. Being dyslexic, l- similar to yourself, you probably had a lot of friends, probably missed popularity.

   10. MRMel Robbins38:49

       (laughs)

   11. LHLewis Howes38:49

       But I was dyslexic and always in the special needs classes in school. And I remember when any time kids would hang out with me or talk to me, I was, like, just holding onto it. I was like, "Oh, please hang out with me." And there was these two kids that wanted to start a club, an after-school club, like in their, their basement, right? And they said, "In order to join the club, you either need to answer a couple of questions or you need to pay money." And I was like, "Well, I don't have any money, so what are the questions?" And I didn't know the answer to the questions, and I felt like the dumbest kid in the world. And so I went home and I talked to my mom, and I said, "Mom, I need $5 to join this club." And she was like, "I don't have the money." And I go, "I really need this." And she could see the desperation in my, in my heart.

   12. MRMel Robbins39:35

       Mm.

   13. LHLewis Howes39:36

       And so we turn over the couch cushions and she's looking for quarters, she's going into her room, her drawers, and she, she gets together $5 in change, puts it in a shoebox, and I walk to the house where the kids are. I hand them the shoebox with $5 in it, and I hang out with them for, like, an hour. They're talking with themselves in the basement and it's just me by myself, and I just feel like I'm the dumbest person in the world. I can't answer their questions, I barely had the money to just be their friends. Even when I did, I'm not their friend. It's a fake friend. And I never went back to that because I was just like, "Man, this doesn't feel good." So this is a money wound. These are just-

   14. MRMel Robbins40:15

       Mm.

   15. LHLewis Howes40:15

       ... stories that I had. There's memories that still lived with me today.

   16. MRMel Robbins40:20

       (laughs)

   17. LHLewis Howes40:20

       And I had to learn how to create a new story.

   18. MRMel Robbins40:24

       Well, w- you write about this on page 63 of the book, and you talk about how the first question was, name someone who walked on the moon.

   19. LHLewis Howes40:32

       Uh-huh.

   20. MRMel Robbins40:32

       Second one was, name the first three presidents of the United States.

   21. LHLewis Howes40:36

       Mm-hmm.

   22. MRMel Robbins40:37

       And, you know-

   23. LHLewis Howes40:38

       I still don't know the answers. You know, it's like, I still don't know the answers-

   24. MRMel Robbins40:40

       (laughs)

   25. LHLewis Howes40:40

       ... to these things.

   26. MRMel Robbins40:40

       You know what? We still love you, Louis.

   27. LHLewis Howes40:42

       Yeah, exactly. (laughs)

   28. MRMel Robbins40:42

       Most of us don't either. Um, and you write, "Not only was I not smart enough to join the club, but I had to pay to have friends."

   29. LHLewis Howes40:49

       Mm-hmm.

   30. MRMel Robbins40:49

       "I later came to realize that the deeper message I took away from this experience wasn't just that I didn't have much money, but that I didn't have much value."
6. 45:32 – 1:09:46

   Rewriting Your Story About Money

   1. MRMel Robbins45:32

      you say free, I think I know what you mean.

   2. LHLewis Howes45:35

      Mm-hmm.

   3. MRMel Robbins45:36

      What I can recognize in that word if I go the opposite, so if freedom is one extreme that's available if I change my story about money, the opposite of that is imprisoned.

   4. LHLewis Howes45:48

      Mm-hmm.

   5. MRMel Robbins45:49

      If you're imprisoned by your debt like I used to be-

   6. LHLewis Howes45:53

      Yes.

   7. MRMel Robbins45:53

      ... and you're also keeping yourself trapped there with the story you tell yourself.

   8. LHLewis Howes45:57

      Like criticizing yourself and, "I'm an idiot. How could I let myself do this? Why could I let myself into debt?"

   9. MRMel Robbins46:00

      Wait, were you there with me? How do you, how do you know that's what I was saying, Louis?

   10. LHLewis Howes46:04

       (laughs) But I mean, that's how a lot of people feel, and that's how I felt at that time. I was like, "Why didn't I just try harder in school? Why didn't I go get that medical degree? Why didn't I do something that was safe? Why did I try to pursue this crazy dream of playing football?"

   11. MRMel Robbins46:15

       Yes.

   12. LHLewis Howes46:15

       "I got injured and now I have nothing." It's like this guilt, shame energy that only keeps you trapped. It doesn't create a space of flourishment, of growth and abundance. It keeps you stagnant, stuck, and feeling not enough. It's going back to this word of peace. Most people have a lack of peace when it comes to money. They feel stressed.

   13. MRMel Robbins46:34

       Oh, isn't that true? Well, and, and also, like, if you can't pay your bills...

   14. LHLewis Howes46:38

       You're stressed.

   15. MRMel Robbins46:39

       Of course.

   16. LHLewis Howes46:39

       There is no peace.

   17. MRMel Robbins46:40

       There is no peace.

   18. LHLewis Howes46:41

       There is no peace. And I'm not saying, like, "Oh, you're broke and you're in chaos mode right now, just feel peace." That's really hard to do. It's... First step is understanding your story.

   19. MRMel Robbins46:50

       What's the second thing?

   20. LHLewis Howes46:51

       Once you know your story, the second one is to reset your money mindset. What do you mean money mindset? This sounds weird. We need to reset and rewire our brains to have the ability so that more money can come to us-

   21. MRMel Robbins47:06

       Mm-hmm.

   22. LHLewis Howes47:06

       ... effortlessly and easily even though we're going to be working and taking actions to get there on a consistent basis. But we need to rewire our brains to allow for money to come to us.

   23. MRMel Robbins47:17

       Okay, so how do I get a better mindset?

   24. LHLewis Howes47:20

       You start educating yourself.

   25. MRMel Robbins47:21

       Okay.

   26. LHLewis Howes47:22

       You start educating yourself. You start getting mentors. You start learning about it. You start having conversations around money where you can feel comfortable as opposed to scared.

   27. MRMel Robbins47:31

       Okay.

   28. LHLewis Howes47:32

       Again, most people feel afraid of just having a conversation about it.

   29. MRMel Robbins47:35

       I agree. I agree.

   30. LHLewis Howes47:37

       They don't, they won't speak to their parents about it. Their parents are hush-hush, they don't talk about it. You don't talk to your partner about it. It's just confusing and scary. And so you have to rewire your mind to think about money.

Episode duration: 1:09:46