Skip to content
The Mel Robbins PodcastThe Mel Robbins Podcast

LIES About Adult FRIENDSHIP And The TRUTH You Need To Hear | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — A survival guide to adult friendship: how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful #friendships as an adult. This is the topic you and everyone else are thinking about. From making new friends to staying connected to your old ones, to the thing that’s really hard: what do you do when your friendships start to fade? This is something I’ve been dying to talk to you about because I am right here, shoulder to shoulder with you, feeling lonely, left out, and wondering… Where did all my friends go? I know I’m not the only one because when I do see my #friends or meet someone new, everyone is talking about how they never see their friends anymore. Let’s fix that. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the things that I’m doing that keep me from putting myself out there (which I know I need to do) and did extensive research on the topic. What I discovered is both comforting and empowering. I can’t wait to share it with you. I can boil all of this research down to the 5 lies you and I tell ourselves about friendship. These lies are keeping you from having the best relationships of your life. That’s why you need to hear them. So did I. You also need to hear the truth bombs I’m dropping and the smarty pants research I found to back it all up. Because once you stop repeating these lies, your life will open up again. You’ll have an easier time finding, making, and strengthening your relationships with friends. And most importantly, your friendships will align with who you really are and what you really want in this chapter of your life. Today it’s just you and me, friend to friend, figuring sh*t out together. So let’s go. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: - The 5 lies you tell yourself about friendship - 5 truths you need to tell yourself instead - What I learned once I stopped telling myself these lies - Why it’s so hard to make friends once we’re out of school - The text from my friend Brendan Burchard that shook me awake - A new way to think about your BFF - Why a 4 AM friend is all you need - The belief that turns you into a people-pleaser - 3 practical, life-changing tools to help you make friends In this episode: 00:00 Intro 03:18 Why is making friends as an adult so hard? 04:52 There are 5 lies that keep you from having friendships you deserve 07:44 Lie #1: Everyone’s life is a huge party 16:52 Lie #2: I don’t fit in/people don’t like me 19:45 Research: “The Liking Gap” 25:34 Lie #3: Best friends don’t need to last forever 33:08 Lie #4: You can’t be everybody’s friend 35:19 Lie #5: I’m too busy 42:43 Tool #1: Friends for a reason, season, lifetime 47:46 Tool #2: You NEED to take action and get out of your own way 48:17 Research: How many hours it takes to make a friend 57:39 Tool #3: Send a text to someone, they want to hear from you #adultfriendship #relationships — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostGuestguest
Oct 31, 20221h 2mWatch on YouTube ↗

Episode Details

EPISODE INFO

Released
October 31, 2022
Duration
1h 2m
Channel
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Watch on YouTube
▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — A survival guide to adult friendship: how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful #friendships as an adult. This is the topic you and everyone else are thinking about. From making new friends to staying connected to your old ones, to the thing that’s really hard: what do you do when your friendships start to fade? This is something I’ve been dying to talk to you about because I am right here, shoulder to shoulder with you, feeling lonely, left out, and wondering… Where did all my friends go? I know I’m not the only one because when I do see my #friends or meet someone new, everyone is talking about how they never see their friends anymore. Let’s fix that. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the things that I’m doing that keep me from putting myself out there (which I know I need to do) and did extensive research on the topic. What I discovered is both comforting and empowering. I can’t wait to share it with you. I can boil all of this research down to the 5 lies you and I tell ourselves about friendship. These lies are keeping you from having the best relationships of your life. That’s why you need to hear them. So did I. You also need to hear the truth bombs I’m dropping and the smarty pants research I found to back it all up. Because once you stop repeating these lies, your life will open up again. You’ll have an easier time finding, making, and strengthening your relationships with friends. And most importantly, your friendships will align with who you really are and what you really want in this chapter of your life. Today it’s just you and me, friend to friend, figuring sh*t out together. So let’s go. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The 5 lies you tell yourself about friendship
  • 5 truths you need to tell yourself instead
  • What I learned once I stopped telling myself these lies
  • Why it’s so hard to make friends once we’re out of school
  • The text from my friend Brendan Burchard that shook me awake
  • A new way to think about your BFF
  • Why a 4 AM friend is all you need
  • The belief that turns you into a people-pleaser
  • 3 practical, life-changing tools to help you make friends

In this episode: 00:00 Intro 03:18 Why is making friends as an adult so hard? 04:52 There are 5 lies that keep you from having friendships you deserve 07:44 Lie #1: Everyone’s life is a huge party 16:52 Lie #2: I don’t fit in/people don’t like me 19:45 Research: “The Liking Gap” 25:34 Lie #3: Best friends don’t need to last forever 33:08 Lie #4: You can’t be everybody’s friend 35:19 Lie #5: I’m too busy 42:43 Tool #1: Friends for a reason, season, lifetime 47:46 Tool #2: You NEED to take action and get out of your own way 48:17 Research: How many hours it takes to make a friend 57:39 Tool #3: Send a text to someone, they want to hear from you #adultfriendship #relationships — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

SPEAKERS

  • Mel Robbins

    host
  • Guest

    guest

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Mel Robbins and Guest, LIES About Adult FRIENDSHIP And The TRUTH You Need To Hear | The Mel Robbins Podcast explores mel Robbins Exposes Five Toxic Myths Sabotaging Your Adult Friendships Mel Robbins unpacks why making friends as an adult feels so hard, arguing that it’s less about circumstances and more about five pervasive lies we tell ourselves. She breaks down myths about everyone else having a social ‘party life,’ believing people don’t like us, clinging to “BFFs forever,” needing to be liked by everyone, and being “too busy” for friends.

RELATED EPISODES

Organize Your Life & Home: The Simple System That Gives You More Time, Energy, & Control

Organize Your Life & Home: The Simple System That Gives You More Time, Energy, & Control

If You Only Watch One Video This Week, Make It This One

If You Only Watch One Video This Week, Make It This One

How to Master Any Conversation, Communicate with Confidence, and Deal With Difficult People

How to Master Any Conversation, Communicate with Confidence, and Deal With Difficult People

MIT Longevity Expert: Do These 3 Things Now to Stay Young, Live Longer, & Keep Your Freedom

MIT Longevity Expert: Do These 3 Things Now to Stay Young, Live Longer, & Keep Your Freedom

#1 Women’s Hormone Doctor: Take Control of Your Body, Balance Hormones, & Feel Amazing

#1 Women’s Hormone Doctor: Take Control of Your Body, Balance Hormones, & Feel Amazing

Feeling Lost or Behind in Life? The #1 Happiness Expert Explains How to Find Your Purpose

Feeling Lost or Behind in Life? The #1 Happiness Expert Explains How to Find Your Purpose

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.