Manifesting for Beginners: 4 Simple Steps to Manifest Anything You Want | The Mel Robbins Podcast

1. 0:00 – 0:42

   Intro

   1. MRMel Robbins0:03

      You, my friend, are the one programming this show. That's right. I have scoured the DMs, the comments, all of your submissions for topics and questions, and wow, this is the single most common question I get. The answer, believe it or not, is manifesting. Honestly, I just love this shit. I'm gonna walk you through four steps, backed by neuroscience, on how you're gonna use manifesting properly as a brain reprogramming tool. That's what we're gonna do here today. (upbeat music) Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome

2. 0:42 – 1:45

   Intro to Manifesting

   1. MRMel Robbins0:42

      to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I'm so glad you're here because today, you, my friend, are the one programming this show. That's right. I have scoured the DMs, the comments, all of your submissions for topics and questions that you've submitted to melrobbins.com, and wow. First of all, I just want to acknowledge you. You are really stepping up. I mean, it's pretty clear from the questions you're asking that there's a lot you wanna change about your life, there's a lot of cool stuff you wanna take on, and so I just gotta start by saying I'm really proud of you. Second, it's very clear what you're struggling with. You're struggling with the how. How do I start? How do I push through self-doubt? How do I make this big thing that's way off in the distance a reality? How do I get out of my own freaking way? Well, I want you to know, I'm not only talking, I'm listening, and today, I'm gonna respond. So let's start with a question from Jessica.

3. 1:45 – 4:02

   How can you get started on my dreams and make them a reality?

   1. MRMel Robbins1:45

   2. JEJessica1:46

      Hi, my name is Jessica. I currently live in southern New Hampshire, and I'm 39 years old. How can I get started on my dreams and make them a reality? Where do I start, Mel? There's so much self-doubt, it's overwhelming, and I just don't know where to begin.

   3. MRMel Robbins2:02

      Okay, I love this question from Jessica because I can almost hear you nodding. I can feel it. Even though I can't see you, I can feel you going, "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. There, how do I get started, Mel?" This is the single most common question I get. Once somebody knows what they wanna change or why they wanna change it, the next big question is how. And so I'm gonna answer Jessica's question in two parts, because there are two parts to how. The first part is easy. It's the doing part, and how you get started when it comes to taking action and you don't know what to, quote, "do," this is easy. Just go to Google. I'm- I'm dead serious about this. Google has the answer to everything. If you simply go to Google or go to YouTube and type in the change you wanna make or the goal that you have or the thing that you wanna create in your life, you will probably get 6.3 million search results, and every single one of the links that you click on will give you a long list of things that you could probably do. And I'm not being a smart-ass here. The fact is, the steps that you need to take action-wise are super simple. The reason why you're stuck is because of the second part of her question. Now, did you notice she said at the very end, "My self-doubt. My self-doubt"? Because one of the reasons why you get stuck is because of the doubt, and this is where working on your dreams and your goals gets really tricky, because if your own mindset is working against you, you're actually never going to feel inspired or motivated or encouraged to take the actions that that Google result just told you to take. And so we gotta focus on your mindset

4. 4:02 – 5:10

   Where do you start?

   1. MRMel Robbins4:02

      first and foremost when it comes to, where do I start? Because I wanna play this out with you. Let's just role-play here. If you're sitting there going, "I would love to become an opera singer, but I don't know, but self-doubt, but what if I sound stupid, but this, but that, but what if Uncle Willy s-" If you start doubting your ability to make that happen, how motivated do you feel? If you're sitting there telling yourself that you can't do it or that it's not gonna work, this is the reason why most people never even get started on their goals and dreams. Their thinking pattern is the problem, because their self-doubt, their perfectionism, their lack of self-worth, it's convincing you not to take the action. And this is such a common problem that Jessica's not the only one that has actually submitted a question about this. I got a ton of them, and so I wanna play another question that was submitted from a woman named Megan so that I can start to show you that you're not the only one whose

5. 5:10 – 13:13

   How can you use manifesting to push through your fears?

   1. MRMel Robbins5:10

      self-doubt is the problem.

   2. MEMegan5:11

      My name is Megan, and I'm from Tampa, Florida. Long story short, I've always wanted to move out of my hometown, and ever since I graduated college, I've tried to find an excuse to move. I'm in my third job in my career, love it, but I'm just like, I'd never pursued that moving out of my hometown, and there's always been this itch. And I'm 32, I'm single, I have no kids, and I'm like, my lease is about to end, so I'm like, is now the time? But all those fears just keep popping in, which are a lot of, you know, limiting beliefs that I have. So my parents always kind of told me, um, "You need money to move. You, like, if you don't have a bunch of money saved, then you shouldn't be going anywhere." Um, they never moved out of Tampa, so, um, they were like, "Your- your family's here. Um, why would you wanna leave your family?" And kind of, like, guilt-tripped me a little bit.Um, so I kind of shut down the conversation and I basically just don't know what to do and I feel stuck, but I feel like I need to do it, but I don't have a reason to other than I want to. How do I get past feeling stuck and too afraid? And I feel like I'm just always looking for excuses of why I shouldn't. My biggest fear is just getting there and then being like, "Why did I do this? I'm alone. I have no family or friends here. Who knows when my family or friends are going to visit me, even if they will. Am I going to... Is this going to cost me a lot of money and now I put myself in, like, a bad financial situation? What if I lose my job and I'm in a new city? Um, what if I hate it?" So Mel, how do I get started? What is the first step I should take and what is the right way of going about doing this?

   3. MRMel Robbins7:14

      Oh my God. First of all, can we just agree, we love Megan. Don't you just love how honest she is? How she's just laying it all out there. And you know what else I love about her? She is every single one of us. Because once you lock onto something that you, quote, "have an itch," and by the way, that's the only reason you need. If you want to do something, if you have a desire to do it, if you have that itch, that pull, that's your reason. You don't need any other justification other than you get to want things. You get to try things. And so, I just love her because in sharing so much about how she's struggling internally, and you can hear that, can't you? You can hear how much she wants to do this, and yet there is that conflict inside of her. And so, I want to unpack this layer by layer for you, because here's the thing. It's very easy for me on the outside to put my hands on my hip and to look at Megan with a big smile and say, "Honey, you are not getting any older. Get your ass out of Tampa and move. What if it all works out? Stop worrying about it. And by the way, Tampa's waiting for you, in case you hate it. So, you can reverse the decision, but you got to start taking some risks." Like, I could tell her this all day long, but what really moves the needle in your life is when you can coach yourself, when you can shut down the conversation inside your own mind. Because the only thing that is holding Megan back from pursuing something she's been thinking about for years is the conversation she's having with herself. And so how do you shut down the conversation? The answer, believe it or not, is manifesting. "Wait, what? Mel? W- hold on a second. Mel Robbins, did you just say all I have to do is manifest? If I think about moving, magically it'll happen?" No, that's not what I said. You see, you don't understand what manifesting is. Nobody does. I didn't for decades. Manifesting is not just imagining something or wishing or wanting something to happen. Uh, that's what Megan's been doing. She's been thinking about it, she's been wishing it would happen, she's been wanting it to happen. Has that made her move? No. That's not manifesting, everybody. Manifesting is intentionally training your brain and your nervous system to believe in something that hasn't happened yet. That's what manifesting is. Manifesting is a power tool. It's backed by neuroscience, it is backed by years of research, and when used properly, it helps you achieve your goals because it helps you prepare to do the work. I use science-backed manifesting tools every single day to shut down the negative conversations in my life and to live a big life and to take big risks. And dude, Olympic athletes use manifesting. And we're gonna get into how Olympic athletes and the world's leading, you know, business leaders and successful people everywhere use it, but I'm telling you right now, the way you shut down your internal conversation that is holding you back is manifesting. And I'm not only gonna give you the definition of what manifesting is and what it isn't, but I'm gonna walk you through four steps, backed by neuroscience, on how you're gonna use manifesting properly as a brain reprogramming tool. That's what we're gonna do here today. And I'm also, as I walk you through these steps, you're gonna learn the four mistakes that absolutely everybody makes when it comes to the how and when it comes to trying to manifest. Jessica, I'm sure, is making this mistake. Megan makes this mistake. I've been making this mistake for years until I understood the science. And so, you know, as I do this, I want to turn the spotlight on you for a second, because I'm gonna continue talking about Megan, and we're gonna learn a lot about manifesting and how to use science to rewire your mind. But what is something that you feel the itch to do? That you've been thinking about, that you're the one shutting down? Here's a way that you could really get honest with yourself. Let's just say that Mel Robbins was gonna take a sabbatical from hosting the Mel Robbins Podcast, and let's say I was gonna move into your house and you and I were gonna be surgically joined at the hip for a year. And you were gonna have to deal with me being by your side and in your ear day by day. I'd be there as you woke up, I'd be there as you go to sleep. I can sense that itch because I'm connected to your hip.What is it, knowing that I would be in your life, annoying as hell, pushing you through your fears, what would you take on that you're not taking on right now? What dream would you pursue if I'm your big O-line, you know, your offensive linemen in football? I'm the one that's gonna block and tackle for you. I'm the one that's gonna clear the path. I'll handle your fricking parents. I'm gonna find the apartment. I'll push you out of your comfort zone. We got this, 'cause I'm gonna be by your side. What is that thing, that itch, that dream? Because I want you to be selfish as you listen to this, and so hold onto that as I describe how manifesting is one of the first things you have to learn how to do to get started on making this a reality. So

6. 13:13 – 15:21

   What is Manifesting?

   1. MRMel Robbins13:13

      what is manifesting? Manifesting is mentally training for getting what you want. That's all that it is. It is part of the toolkit that successful people around the world use. Let me tell you what manifesting is not. Manifesting is not thinking thoughts and then hoping they come true. That is what people do on their seventh birthday, and they blow out the candles. That is not what we are doing here. Manifesting is based in neuroscience. It is a tool that you are going to use precisely, intentionally, systematically, with purpose, because you use manifesting to rewire your mind, and your body, and your spirit to help you do the work to achieve your dreams. When you use manifesting properly, you are removing the mental obstacles of self-doubt, resistance, fear, perfectionism, feeling overwhelmed, other people's expectations, all that stuff that is holding you in place right now, that makes you spin in circles. Manifesting clears that shit out, and it programs, using science, a completely different way of thinking and feeling about the things that you want to create in your life. And when you manifest properly, it's almost like the pre-game training that you do before the big game. It prepares you to take action. It boosts your confidence. It gets you ready to do that thing. So, you and I are gonna walk step by step through how to do this, but I just want you, for this moment, I want you to embrace the definition that this is not wishing, this is not the law of attraction. This is based in science and neuroscience. This is about reprogramming your mind instead of letting your fears run your life. I know what you're thinking, "Okay, Mel, what the hell does that mean?" Don't you worry. We're gonna go step by step through this, and I'm gonna keep on teeing up the mistakes that you're making, 'cause everybody makes the same

7. 15:21 – 16:37

   Step #1 of Manifesting

   1. MRMel Robbins15:21

      mistakes. I made the same mistakes too, and I'm going to show you the four things you need to do instead so you can leverage the science to create the life that you want. So step one of manifesting properly according to research and science, first you have to tell the truth. You have to declare what you want, period. This does not work if you're lying to yourself. This does not work if you're fuzzy about what you want. And so Megan already did step one. She said, "I wanna move." She even told us that she'd been wanting to do this for a while, and the only thing that's been holding her back is all that negative programming in her mind. So now let's turn to you. Tell me the truth. What's something that you want? And don't be scared to say it out loud. Don't worry, I'm not moving in with you, but you have to tell the truth. That thing that you have an itch to do, that's what I'm talking about. And if you are so shut down that you don't even know what you would wanna manifest, let's do the exercise that I have shared multiple times on the Mel Robbins Podcast. Every single morning as part of your morning routine, I want you to just take

8. 16:37 – 17:17

   Tool: How to get in touch with your dreams

   1. MRMel Robbins16:37

      out a piece of paper and write down five things that you want. And every morning as you do this, as you give yourself permission to want things, you're training your mind. You're getting in touch with your dreams and your goals. And if you're having trouble connecting with this, I have a free cheat sheet for you. Just go to melrobbins.com/dreambig. I walk you through it. You can download it for free, and you can also listen to the episode we just did on dreams. It's the one we released right before this one. But you have to be honest. You wanna know why? Because you're training your brain, and your brain knows when you're bullshitting, especially when you're bullshitting yourself. You cannot half-ass this stuff. Just listen to this question

9. 17:17 – 21:48

   Why do vision boards matter?

   1. MRMel Robbins17:17

      from Rachelle.

   2. RARachelle17:18

      My name's Rachelle. I am from, uh, Ontario, Canada, a small town north of Toronto. So for 25 years, uh, I've had a head full of ideas. I've had half-assed projects and lots of plans. Uh, I chose always wishing over doing. Um, many of, um, my blocks were due to fear, many just basic survival. Uh, the idea of goal setting, it really fires me up. Uh, the idea of remembering to revisit those goals, that freaks me out. I just think of all the things that I should have done and, uh, want to do still, um, that I, again, I've thought about over the last 25 years. What do you have a vision board for? Well, that seems like, what are you, a child?

   3. MRMel Robbins18:03

      (laughs) I love you guys so much. "What do you have a vision board for? What are you, a child?" Uh, Rachelle, okay, so first of all, we love Rachelle. We love everybody. Um, and what I love about her is she's admitting to you that she's been thinking about things that she's wanted for 25 years, and she's never getting past the thinking part. Why? Well, because again, the overwhelm, the self-doubt, all of the disorganization, it's stopping her. That's where manifesting comes in.And she asked the question, "Vision boards. What the hell? Am I a child?" Let me tell you why vision boards can be important, with one huge caveat based on science. Vision boards are important because when you take the time to create a vision board, which is basically bringing your dream or your goal to life by creating a collage of images, what you're doing is you are grabbing that dream or that goal that typically we bounce around in the back of our minds in private. You're pulling it out of your mind, and you're grounding it in reality. And one of the reasons why this can be so powerful is because it signals to your brain that this is really important to you. We've talked in previous episodes about the Zeigarnik effect. It creates this kind of to-do list in your mind. The other reason why it's important is because when you put a vision board in a place where you can see it, it keeps these goals and dreams front and center, which is really important. But here's the problem. Everybody puts the wrong shit on their vision boards. You've been sold a bill of goods. You have been told that if you simply create a collage of some beach house, or your dream body, or a million dollars in the bank, or a Maserati, that suddenly the universe is going to hand you those things. That's not how that works. What research shows is exactly what Rochelle is talking about. If all you ever do is think about the big thing, you think about the end goal, the beach house, the Maserati, the thing that's like 10 years from now, and then you create this beautiful collage of this amazing thing that you want, that's a huge mistake. And see, everybody makes this mistake. If you look at anybody's vision board, you know what's on it? It's beach houses, and a million dollars, and a Maserati, and the cr- the finishing line at the New York City Marathon, and all the things that you hope and dream for. And the reason why that's a huge mistake is that if the only thing that is on your vision board is the thing that's gonna take you 10 years to get done, as you sit here in your studio apartment, or in the spare bedroom of your parents' house at a desk in the corner, and you stare at a $10 million beach house, oh my God, that is gonna feel so far away. It's gonna feel like you might as well move to Mars, for crying out loud. Instead of that vision board keeping your dreams front and center, that vision board is rubbing them in your face. It's not motivating at all. Why? Because you start to become present, day in and day out, to how far away you are from that dream of yours. And that starts to make you feel less motivated. It doesn't surprise me at all that Rochelle has been thinking about all kinds of things for 25 years, and yet she can't get started. And the reason why is because she is making the mistake of visualizing the end. Manifesting is not just hoping and wishing. Remember, for that beach house? Manifesting is training your mind, body, and spirit to do the work to make that beach house a reality. And step two

10. 21:48 – 22:25

    Step #2 of Manifesting

    1. MRMel Robbins21:48

       to manifesting according to neuroscience, visualize the steps along the way. This is research from UCLA. In order to make manifesting work for you according to science, don't visualize the end. Visualize the steps and the actions that you're gonna take to get there. So what does that mean? That means all that hard, and annoying, and tedious stuff that you gotta do that you don't feel like doing in order to make that thing a reality, that's what you're gonna put on the vision board. That's what you're going to visualize. You see,

11. 22:25 – 27:27

    Science of Visualizing

    1. MRMel Robbins22:25

       according to the research from UCLA, brain scans show that when you visualize yourself performing an action, you stimulate the same brain region that you're using when you actually perform that action. So manifesting properly, according to science, means you are socializing your mind to take action. Now, what does socializing your mind mean? 'Cause that's the language they used in the study. It means you're training your mind to take the action. By sitting there and mentally rehearsing this, you are telling your mind, you're stimulating the part of the brain that actually is gonna take the action. This taps into something called procedural memory, and it helps you lock in the actions you need to take as a new habit. See, procedural memory is part of your long-term memory. It's like writing with your hands or pouring a glass of water. All those actions and habits, they're all stored in your procedural memory. Your procedural memory has all the information that you need in order to perform things like brushing your teeth, or walking and talking. And when those things get rehearsed over and over and over again, guess what? They become encoded. They become automatic. The more you think about the steps you need to take and you start to visualize them, the stronger the connections become. And this isn't just, like, common sense. What happens when you visualize this way is that connections are being made between gaps and neurons. They're passing signals back and forth. And so before you even take the actions, you are now s- socializing your brain to get ready to do it. You're preparing. It's super cool. So let's just start with step one, manifesting according to science. You gotta claim what you want and tell the truth. So let's say that, step one, I want to train for and I want to complete the New York City Marathon. That is a bucket list item.... for me. And in fact, that was a bucket list item for me, and it's something that I've done. And you should do it too, it's amazing. And so yes, you're gonna wake up every day and you're gonna write that dream down. But to achieve it, please do not spend any time visualizing crossing the finish line. Please do not spend any time thinking about the roaring applause of the crowd as your name gets announced. Instead, what are you gonna do? You're gonna use science, 'cause you're smart. You're gonna visualize yourself lacing up your running shoes when it's 10 degrees outside. You're gonna close your eyes and you're gonna picture what it feels like to be out there on a training run alone. It's mile 13, you're on your own, and your fricking earbuds just ran out of batteries, and you're six miles from your house. And as you close your eyes and you picture that annoying and irritating moment, I want you to feel in your body the sensation of that moment. And I want you to feel in your body another one. How about this moment? It's 5:00 AM, your alarm goes off, you're exhausted. You look out the window and you see it's pouring rain, and it's a Saturday, and you said you do a training run. And I want you to see yourself dragging yourself out of bed, pulling on your jacket even though you don't feel like it, and walking out that door. And I want you to feel yourself starting to run in the rain, and it's 5:10 in the morning. That's how you manifest. Because here's the thing, that's what you're gonna have to do in order to achieve your goal. And more importantly, five months from now when you've registered for that race and that alarm goes off at 5:00 AM and you roll over in real life and you look out the window and it's pouring, you will have rehearsed this moment. So your brain and your nervous system and your body is gonna be ready for it. You're gonna roll out of bed because you've already been in this moment. You already have seen yourself there. You've already felt the resistance. You not only know exactly how this goes, you've rehearsed it in your mind, and you've now rewired your brain to be ready for it. That's why you can't half-ass this. You got to be dead serious about visualizing the steps you need to take. And so now that you got step one, which is tell the truth about what you want, get very clear about it, step two is stop focusing on the end and start focusing on the irritating crap you're gonna have to do day in and day out to march toward it, now we're gonna go from the kindergarten manifesting according to neuroscience to Olympic-level manifesting. Are you ready? I'm ready.

12. 27:27 – 30:50

    Step #3 of Manifesting - feel it in your body

    1. MRMel Robbins27:27

       'Cause step three, to properly manifest according to science, you got to feel that stuff in your body. I mean, really feel it. You got to feel what it's like to work for that dream. Now, this isn't just Mel Robbins, and this is not even neuroscientists anymore. We're now bringing in the Olympic athletes and all of their team of psychologists, because they take manifesting to an even deeper level. When you're on the Olympic team, you call this imagery, because it goes way beyond sort of the visualization. An Olympic aerial skier said, "You have to smell it, you have to hear it, you have to feel it, you have to feel everything." And so that means as you are closing your eyes and as you are visualizing yourself doing the work, and for an Olympic skier, that means before you even get on that slope, you are imaging every twist, every turn, every bump, every jump. You are going over and over and over and over again every twist and every turn. Because remember, according to the research at UCLA, your brain doesn't know the difference between something that happened to you for real and the things that you imagine happening to you. So you're warming yourself up to exactly what you'll feel as you're taking action. There was a huge article about this in The New York Times, and in it, bobsledder Lyndon Rush, who's an Olympic medalist, said, "I've tried to keep the track in my mind throughout the year," he said. "I'll be in the shower or brushing my teeth, it just takes a minute, so I do the whole track, or sometimes just the corners that are more technical." You try to keep it fresh in your head so when you do get there, you're not just starting at square one. And it's amazing how much you can do in your own mind. And in fact, one of the things that psychologists use this for with our Olympic team is helping athletes deal with the anxiety and resistance that comes up when they're about to go back into racing after an injury. And so this sort of imagery, this deep manifesting where you feel it, so what does that mean? You got to smell the air. You got to feel the wind. You got to really put yourself at the scene. You know, when I was a young trial lawyer, I used to lurk, I used to work for the Legal Aid Society as a criminal defense attorney. And when I was, um, being trained to do trial work, they used to say, "When you're talking to a jury, you have to put people at the scene. You've got to describe something in a way that they could almost see, taste, or smell it." And that's what you need to do. And so here's what I want to do. I want, I want to do this with you right now. And so we're gonna use our friend Megan, remember she's the one that wants to move from Tampa? And I want to play a part of her clip where she talks about...... her fears, and as you're listening to our friend Megan, I want you to see what sensations come up in your body as you are listening to her describe all the resistance and fears that she has about this thing that she wants to

13. 30:50 – 35:40

    Stop manifesting your fears and self doubt into reality

    1. MRMel Robbins30:50

       do.

    2. MEMegan30:50

       My biggest fear is just getting there and then being like, "Why did I do this? I'm alone. I have no family or friends here. Who knows when my family or friends are gonna visit me, even if they will? Am I going to... Is this going to cost me a lot of money and now I put myself in, like, a bad financial situation? What if I lose my job and I'm in a new city? Um, what if I hate it?"

    3. MRMel Robbins31:17

       You wanna know what Megan's doing? She's manifesting. She is letting her fears rehearse the worst case scenario. She has trained her brain and her nervous system to be terrified of this move. She has a visualization, all right, that it's not gonna work, that her parents are gonna be mad, that it's a huge mistake, that she's gonna lose her job, that... No wonder she's not doing it. She's using manifesting in the exact opposite way. She's literally... She is systematically, through her excuses and her fears and her parents stuff, she is training her own mind to work against her. "I'm afraid of this, I'm afraid of that. It's gonna be like this, it's gonna be like that." You could feel, couldn't you, when she said, "What if I get there and I'm alone? What if I get there and it's the worst decision?" I bet you felt your chest seize a little bit. When she said, "I- what if I regret it?" I bet you felt yourself shrink a little bit. See, her excuses have trained her mind and body to resist taking the action. You do the same thing. Every time you look at the thing that you want, that itch that you have, the dream that you have, the goal that you have, and you're like, "But this, but that, but what about the other person, ba-da-da-di-di-di-di-di," you're visualizing all the negative, and this is why you're stopped. And so instead of mentally rehearsing your deepest fears, let's just flip this. Try visualizing it being great. I mean, instead of going, "What if it doesn't work?" What if it all works out? What if this is the best decision I've ever made in my entire life? Visualize saying goodbye to your parents and packing the U-Haul. Visualize yourself alone in the apartment. Go to that really scary moment where you're there alone and you feel yourself getting anxious, but then visualize yourself putting your shoes on, leaving the house, going to that event you signed up even though you didn't feel like it, and bumping into somebody and making a new friend. Visualize your mom calling and saying, "I miss you. I wish you have..." And as you look out at the mountains or the oceans or this whole new city that you live in, feel the pride inside yourself that you took the risk and that you're gonna see her next month when you go home. And in a weird way, visualize and feel how this distance and you growing up has made your relationship stronger. Visualize that moment where you lose your job and going, "But that's okay. I didn't like that job anyway, and I've meet- met so many people here that now I- I'm networking and I've just landed something new." Visualize yourself winning. So I think you're getting this. I know you're getting this. Let me just recap 'cause you know nobody gets left behind on the Mel Robbins podcast. Step one, tell the truth. Your brain knows BS and we need the truth from you. What do you actually want? Step two, you're gonna use neuroscience, which means you're gonna visualize and feel in your body all the little things you have to do, the annoying, the irritating. I want you to see it, to smell it. I want you to see yourself falling down or being scared and then picking yourself back up and feel the pride push through the resistance. There you are doing it. Rehearse it in your mind over and over and over, and what you're really doing is you are decoding all the resistance that your fears put in, and you are encoding and rewiring a whole new track, a tape in your mind that shows you doing the work and making it happen. And this is what Olympic athletes do. This is what Mel Robbins does. This is what successful people in business do, and this is what you're gonna be doing now. And so now I wanna teach you something else because I think what's gonna happen is that you're gonna get all excited and you're gonna identify and tell the truth about what you want, and you're gonna sit down and you're gonna go to start visualizing the steps and then something interesting is gonna happen. You might find that something weird happens, because this is what happened to Maura and it's extremely common.

14. 35:40 – 41:01

    How do you push through imposter syndrome when it comes to taking action on your dreams?

    1. MRMel Robbins35:40

       So listen to this question.

    2. MAMaura35:41

       Hey, Mel. My name's Maura. I'm from Chicago, Illinois. Um, I have a question for you. I was just curious, how does one tackle overcoming imposter syndrome while manifesting? So, how can I take the steps to work on a business that I'm passionate about, um, interior design with absolutely no experience other than my own home and planning my own parties and, and, and gifting during the seasons and birthdays? Um, when I see these types of businesses online, they really, really inspire me to create, but the thought of me doing it myself is so scary.

    3. MRMel Robbins36:20

       Okay. I love this question. This is so juicy and great and I just am so happy, Maura, that you asked this. So first of all, let's just stop saying imposter syndrome, okay everybody? Because when you're new to something, you're a student. That's it. You're a beginner.That's it. You're not an imposter. You're not faking anything. You're actually figuring it out. It's part of the process. And so stop saying you have imposter syndrome, because all you do is you have a dream and you're gonna begin to chip away at it. That's what we're doing here. So that's number one. Number two, this is really common. Um, and the reason why it's really common is because your fear is so big and your self-doubt is so big and you've never done this thing before, and you can tell based on the fact that, you know, Maura was kind of laughing. She's like, "Oh my God, I kind of love this thing." And so she's diminishing how big of a dream this is. And a lot of us do that. We kind of make a little bit of a joke or downplay it a little bit, or we, you know, we're nervous about it. You know, we kind of don't even admit it. So first of all, I'm proud of you for admitting it, Maura. That's step one, you told the truth. Step two, the, the things you need to do, you can figure out, 'cause you're a student, you're a beginner, you love this, you're smart, and there's Google and there's YouTube, and that's gonna give you the steps. And those are the things that you need to visualize. So when you sit down and you start to visualize and mentally rehearse, remember, you're an Olympic athlete. You're a winner. We're using neuroscience here. We're gonna decode all those fears and all those bullshit excuses, and we're gonna reencode some confidence, and we're gonna see you doing it. You might experience not being able to picture yourself in the visualization. This is super common. So here's what you're gonna use. You're gonna use the power of objectivity. That's it. What does that mean? That means if you can't picture yourself doing the work, pick somebody that you admire who you could visualize doing the work. And there's a catch here. So for example, you could pick me. You could pick, uh, an interior designer that you absolutely love. Um, there's so many of them online that you could, uh, pick from that you can follow on Instagram, and you can imagine them in there, taking the certifications, asking their friends if they could stage their apartment for an Instagram photo shoot, networking with realtors, trying to get a job in a design firm, or heck, in an amazing furniture retail location so you start to kind of build up the acumen. There's all kinds of things you can do. If you can't picture yourself doing those small steps, pit it, put in me or somebody that you deeply admire who's already in the interior design business. Your mind will allow you, through the power of objectivity, to imagine someone else. Now, here's the catch. Here's the catch, 'cause remember, I'm the O-line. I'm your offensive lineman. I'm clearing the path, so I'm not doing this on my own. I'm doing this, and I'm in your visualization so you can score with the ball. So at some point in that visualization, let's just say you get a job at one of your favorite retail stores that sells furniture and is in the design business. And let's just say you put me in there, and I'm the one that's managing the store. At some point in that visualization, I want you to visualize me turning around and extending my hand and saying, "Come on, Maura. It's your turn. Come here and help me." And let me invite you to join my side in your visualization. Visualize us doing the work together. It's a super awesome hack. And using the power of objectivity, we can work around that blind spot in your brain until you're ready to fire Mel Robbins from that job. And now you can start visualizing yourself doing all the steps you're scared to take now. Super cool. Now let's get to step four, because this is probably the most important part of manifesting according to neuroscience, and I think absolutely everybody forgets to tell you this part. Let's play Cynthia's question.

15. 41:01 – 43:03

    How do you go about manifesting without feeling a sense of selfishness?

    1. CYCynthia41:01

       Hi, my name is Cynthia. I'm from Temecula, California. My question was to Mel, um, how do you, um, go about manifesting without feeling like a sense of selfishness? Um, I was raised in a very strict Catholic household, and when you asked for things, it was kind of like you had to do something in return. So I feel like when I'm asking the universe or God, whatever you believe in, um, for my things that I'm manifesting, um, I feel like I owe somebody something or something's gonna get taken away. So it makes me, um, a little nervous to ask or manifest.

    2. MRMel Robbins41:39

       Cynthia, I gotta tell you, you're right. You're right. When you manifest, it's not selfish at all, by the way. It's an act of self-love when you train your mind to help you get what you want. But when you manifest, you are gonna owe somebody something. And you know what you owe them? Fucking work. That's right. You have to do the thing you're visualizing. When you sit there and you intentionally mentally rehearse the steps you need to take, there is something that you owe the universe and you owe yourself. And that is to take the action. You're not just gonna sit there and train. At some point, that Olympic athlete has to do the race. At some point, you've got to make the cold call. At some point, you've got to quit the job or pack the U-Haul trailer or get off your ass and do the training run at 5:00 AM. So you better believe there is going to be something that is asked of you in return. And that's where the magic comes in.Because the magic is in your actions, and manifesting, according to s- neuroscience, just gets your own fears, and people's judgments, and your childhood wiring out of the way so that you can take those actions. True science-backed manification. It's not as sexy as The Secret makes it seem, and it's actually not as complicated

16. 43:03 – 53:18

    Step #4 of Manifesting

    1. MRMel Robbins43:03

       as a huge PhD study makes it seem. You just have to do it. That's it. You have to take the actions. You do owe the universe and yourself something. You owe yourself the actions, the effort, the work that's required. That's what your dreams demand. I talk about this all the time. You know, we all want to believe that somehow you're going to close your eyes and imagine what you want and it's going to magically happen. I'm sorry, that may happen on TikTok or in Disney, but that is not how the real world works. The way that you are going to make something a reality is you are going to declare that you want it, and then you are going to tediously, annoyingly wake up every single day and push yourself to lay one brick in a path with one action every day. It's not going to be easy, but day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, action by action, as you visualize yourself taking the steps, and then you actually push yourself to do the steps, you will wake up and realize you have paved a brick path to your dreams. And you are now, 10 years later, five years later, sitting on the porch of your ocean house. You are crossing the finish line of the New York City Marathon. You are making the final turn in that giant slalom race. That is how this works. So you do owe something. You got to put your skin in the game and your ass on the line, and you do that by waking up every day and taking one of those small steps forward that you visualized and practiced and rehearsed by manifesting properly according to neuroscience. Now let me say the final mistake. You ready for the final mistake? This is mistake number four. You get impatient. I cannot tell you how many people literally give up on their dreams, and they are one audition away from making it. Or how many people stop working on their business, and they were one hour away from the breakthrough that they needed in the financial model. Or you give up on that novel or cookbook you wanted to write because you got frustrated by the creative process. You make the mistake of thinking just because this is getting hard, or it's boring, or it's tedious, it's not working. Here's the thing I need you to understand. When it comes to achieving your goals and your dreams, there is no timeline involved. You have to give up the when, and you've got to stay focused on the why and the how. And you now know the how. The how is using neuroscience to remove the resistance in your mind and your nervous system and your body, and then pushing yourself. Pushing yourself to do the work, because manifesting is not magically making something appear. Manifesting is preparing your mind, body, and spirit to do the work to make it a reality. Overnight success does not exist. Period. Yes, there are a lot of people that are, gotten lucky. Yes, privilege is real. Bias is a fact, and it is really easy to get jealous. But what you aren't seeing when you focus on the end result is the years and years and years that went into this moment. Like a lot of people are looking at me right now and they're like, holy cow, y- y- this is one of the most successful podcast launches in history. How the hell did that happen overnight? It didn't. This has been in the works for 10 years. I have been chipping away at it, doing the work behind the scenes before I even be- launched this thing. You have to ask yourself, I think, when it comes to the big stuff, are you willing to work 10 years for it? Are you willing to work 10 years for that beach house? Are you willing to work 10 years for that million dollars in the bank? Are you willing to work 10 years to get that PhD, to heal your trauma, to be happy? Because that's how long it might take, and if we're being really honest here, if it's a really big thing, it could take even longer, and that's okay, because you know what? There's nothing more fulfilling in life than chipping away at your dreams and your goals. That's what gives your life meaning. Achieving your goals doesn't give your life meaning. Working on them, working towards something bigger than where you're at right now, that is where the real secret sauce is. Like if you want to be successful in business, you've got to get ready to make 100 hours of cold calls about your product or about the thing you're selling before you get one person that doesn't hang up on you. I'm not even talking about a yes, and that's where visualization comes in. You've got to visualize the nos. If you want to be a writer, how about getting ready to write for five years? Five years of drafts, five years of what Anne Lamott calls your shitty first draft. Days and days and days of sitting down every single day, because this is what a writer does. They sit down and they write no matter what. Days where you sit there and you stare at a blank piece of paper. Visualize that, and visualize yourself keep going. Visualize publishers saying no and no and no, and then finally somebody says yes or you self-publish. See, the time and the effort that you have to put in, it's not glamorous, everybody. It's not easy, and there are going to be times that you're going to feel like giving up, and this is what separates the people...... who achieve their goals from the people who don't, in my opinion. It's this quitting day. It's this moment where you throw in the towel. If you can go one more day, you can, you can make it happen, 'cause then you can go another. See, the benefit of waking up every day and using manifesting, according to neuroscience, to visualize yourself continuing to go forward is that when the going gets tough, you will have trained your brain and your nervous system that you're the kind of person that keeps going. And when your body and your brain knows that about you, when the going gets tough, you will keep going. So please, once you're honest with yourself about what you want, put in the time, bring a lot of patience, and I promise, if you're willing to put in the work and the effort and you're willing to continue to train your mind to believe that, yes, in fact, you are gonna cross that finish line, you are gonna have that million dollars in the bank, you are gonna have the happiness and the love and the health that you deserve, you're gonna have the family you've always dreamt of, you will eventually make it happen. I believe that. Honestly, I just love this shit because manifesting according to neuroscience is one of my superpowers. If I'm not talking, I'm probably manifesting something that I want. I currently do not have a beach house and, let me tell you, I have two or three particular homes in mind that are currently occupied. I have all kinds of manifesting according to neuroscience going on. I'm in no hurry. I know this takes time. I keep seeing myself chipping away at it. I see the letter I'm gonna write, and I'm gonna stick it in the note box. I see myself working to make the money. I also have done this with this podcast, you guys. This was two years in the making before we recorded our first episode. You know what I was doing? I was busy manifesting all the hard and tedious stuff that would lead me here, and actually doing it. Another thing I'm manifesting, we are, uh, getting this incredible studio space in Boston, and so I keep having these visions of making the drive down from Southern Vermont. I have this vision of one of our team members, Charlotte, standing out front of the building with a clipboard, and she has this little, like, kind of one of those headset, walkie-talkie things on, and she's greeting this SUV that comes up. I am upstairs having stress diarrhea because the Dalai Lama is stepping out of the SUV and is coming up to be on the Mel Robbins podcast. And I am managing through my stomach ache as Charlotte is walking the Dalai Lama through our lobby and up the elevator to our brand new, insanely cool s- Th- this is what I do, everybody, because it's a superpower. I am training my mind to help me make my big dreams and visions a reality. I'm even doing this for our daughters. I'm, I'm manifesting what it looks like for our daughter to... I want her to do it next fall. I'm visualizing her halfway around the world and working her way around the world. I'm visualizing our other daughter spending late nights in a, uh, session, writing her music. I can feel what it's gonna feel like when she calls crying and saying that something happened. And so I'm doing this for me. I do it for you. I do it for the people that I love. This stuff is awesome because, in some way, when you really get good at this, it is true what the research at UCLA says. You do trick your own brain. When we started this podcast, finally, after years of thinking about it and two years of properly manifesting according to neuroscience, I was so rehearsed, I had a majoreed or whatever the hell the word is that the Olympians used, that when I stepped in to record our first episode, it felt like I'd been doing this for 10 years because, in my mind, I've been preparing that long. That's how cool this is. Let's recap because on the Mel Robbins podcast, we're not leaving anybody behind here. We are locking arms. No more JV manifesting bullshit. We're using neuroscience here, people. So four mistakes, number one, you are not

17. 53:18 – 57:52

    The 4 Mistakes to Manifesting

    1. MRMel Robbins53:18

       being honest with yourself. If you got an itch, if you got a longing, if you feel the call, if you got that desire, damn it, you're gonna tell the truth about what you want because you now know that your brain knows BS, okay? We are not BSing here. So tell the truth about what you want. Mistake number two, stop looking at the finish line. Stop focusing and staring at the end goal. It is demotivating. It's demoralizing. You do have within you the power to chip away at this. You can, you can lay that brick path, but you need to start visualizing the hard, the scary, the irritating steps that are gonna get you there, and I want you to see yourself pushing through the hard stuff and through the failure that you're visualizing. Mistake number three, you're letting your fears wire your mind instead of your dreams. Stop that. We aren't, we're not doing that. Do not let your parents get into your brain. Do not let yourself doubt. You are an Olympian. You are a winner. You are gonna use neuroscience, which means you are gonna let your dreams and your desires hardwire your mind, just like the Olympians do. And how do you supersize this? You're gonna feel every twist and turn of this in your body. You're gonna feel the agony of defeat and the thrill of the victory. That's what you're gonna do. You're gonna put yourself at the scene.... of working toward your dreams. How cool is that? And mistake number four, don't you dare get impatient. Don't you dare get impatient. I always say, I like to remind myself, what if you're just one more step away from making it happen? Just keep going. That's all you gotta do, because yes, when you start to train your mind and rewire your brain, and you tell the truth about what you want, something will be asked of you. You will be asked to do the work. And when you've rehearsed this and you've gotten ready for it, by properly manifesting, you will have removed the self-doubt, the overwhelm, the procrastination, the anxiety, all that crap, the fear that is currently stopping you. And you, my friend, will see yourself walking step-by-step on that path, on the way to creating the life that you want. And I want you to know, you're not alone. You gotta do the work, but you got a whole cheering section right here with Mel Robbins and the Mel Robbins Podcast. That's why I'm here on Mondays and Thursdays, because we gotta keep chipping away at this. We gotta keep reminding each other. We gotta cheer each other forward. You gotta celebrate those wins and pick yourself up and keep going, and I'm gonna be here giving you a high five. I'm right here beside you. Don't you forget it. And so, uh, you know, before we go, please keep on sending me these DMs and keep on submitting topics and experts to melrobbins.com, because I'm not only talking to you on Mondays and Thursdays, I'm also listening. And you are playing a huge part in programming the show, and you're gonna be on this show more and more and more now that we're getting started, and I want you to know why I'm doing that. The reason why I'm doing that is because I love you and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And that's why I'm here like a giant pain in the ass, your own personal O-line, that offensive line. I'm clearing that path so that you can grab the ball and run forward toward all those things you deserve. All right, I love you. Get out of here. You got work to do. (instrumental music) Hey, it's Mel. Thank you so much for being here. If you enjoyed that video, by God, please subscribe 'cause I don't want you to miss a thing. Thank you so much for being here. We've got so much amazing stuff coming. Thank you so much for sending this stuff to your friends and your family. I love you. We create these videos for you, so make sure you subscribe. Mwah.

Episode duration: 57:52