The Mel Robbins PodcastReset Your Mind & Soul: How to Find Peace When Life Feels Overwhelming
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 2:50
Meet Yung Pueblo: pen name, purpose, and the promise of inner peace
Mel introduces bestselling writer Diego Perez (Yung Pueblo) and why his work resonates so deeply. Diego explains how using a pen name helps him tell the truth about suffering, healing, and self-awareness, setting up the goals for the conversation.
- •Introduction to Diego Perez and the Yung Pueblo pen name
- •Why a pen name creates freedom to be deeply honest
- •What listeners can expect: inner peace, gratitude, and relationship clarity
- •Framing the episode around healing and showing up better
- 2:50 – 3:45
You don’t need rock bottom—but awareness can change everything
Diego challenges the common belief that transformation requires hitting rock bottom. He contrasts dramatic wake-up calls with quieter moments of awareness that spark better choices and a more peaceful inner life.
- •Rock bottom is not a prerequisite for personal change
- •Transformation can begin with small realizations and course corrections
- •Peace starts with noticing what could be different inside your mind
- •Using past suffering as motivation to notice earlier
- 3:45 – 9:53
Diego’s rock bottom: avoiding emotions through substances and constant running
Diego recounts his early-20s spiral: using drugs, alcohol, parties, and people to avoid being alone with painful feelings. He describes how unprocessed anxiety and sadness built over time until his body and heart essentially forced him to stop.
- •Addiction as a strategy to fill an internal void
- •Growing up with poverty, anxiety, and unprocessed stress
- •Avoidance behaviors: staying busy, never alone, always numbing
- •Physical collapse as a turning point (possible mild heart attack)
- 9:53 – 11:36
Distraction is the enemy of healing: “give yourself your own attention”
Mel and Diego connect everyday distractions (phones, relationships, substances) to emotional avoidance. Diego argues that healing accelerates when you turn inward, practice self-love as attention, and stop outsourcing comfort to external fixes.
- •Craving distraction often signals fear of feeling emotions
- •Self-love as active attention to your emotional history
- •Naming the real need beneath coping habits
- •Shifting from external soothing to inner care
- 11:36 – 14:56
The rebellion of slowing down: sitting with emotion without letting it control you
Diego describes the first practical shift: instead of rolling a joint, he sat on his bed for 5–10 minutes and felt anxiety. He explains that healing isn’t about suppressing emotions; it’s honoring them without becoming reactive or governed by them.
- •Slowing down as an investment in inner peace
- •The ‘opposite action’ idea: if you run, practice staying
- •Stopping self-deception: admitting “I’m not okay”
- •Feeling emotions without clinging or reacting to them
- 14:56 – 22:09
Peace lives in subtlety and the present moment (not in extremes)
The conversation zooms in on “subtlety” as a core skill: noticing tension, observing thoughts, and choosing gentleness. They emphasize that joy, wisdom, and peace are found in the present moment, not in rumination or future craving.
- •Subtle awareness prevents emotions from snowballing
- •Peace exists in the gray areas, not black-and-white thinking
- •Present-moment connection as the source of joy and clarity
- •Body awareness (shoulders, breath) as a doorway to calm
- 22:09 – 24:55
Embracing change: meditation retreats and learning to flow with reality
Diego shares how long silent meditation retreats taught him a fundamental truth: everything changes. Suffering often comes from resisting that fact; peace grows when you cooperate with change instead of fighting it.
- •45-day silent retreats and how the mind quiets over time
- •Change as the universal constant—from atomic to everyday life
- •Resistance to change creates pain; acceptance creates flow
- •Noticing struggle as a signal you may be fighting reality
- 24:55 – 25:59
From inner work to writing: intuition, reflection, and self-honesty
Mel asks how Diego’s writing began, and he explains it emerged from intuition and a need to process honestly. Sharing reflections publicly became a way to connect with others also building self-love and self-awareness.
- •Writing started as reflection, not performance
- •No prior journaling—insights arrived as quotes and essays
- •Testing ideas by sharing them online
- •Meditation and honesty improving how he shows up with others
- 25:59 – 34:34
Relationships mirror your relationship with yourself: vulnerability and the myth of “easy” love
Diego argues that deep connection is impossible when someone is disconnected from themselves, often seen as difficulty with vulnerability. He challenges the belief that good relationships should be effortless and explains that love requires learning each other’s emotional histories and triggers.
- •Disconnection from self limits intimacy and presence
- •Vulnerability as a key indicator of emotional availability
- •‘Relationships should be easy’ as a harmful cultural myth
- •Love vs. care: learning to support a partner takes time
- 34:34 – 37:16
Green flags and healthy relationship markers: growth, kindness, compassion—and calm communication
Diego outlines three green flags (growth, kindness, compassion) and reads a list of traits that define healthy relationships. The focus is on emotional safety, honesty, non-performance, flexibility, and mutual space to heal.
- •Three green flags: growth, kindness, compassion
- •Compassion as perspective-taking that resolves conflict
- •Healthy relationship attributes: calm communication, honesty, trust
- •Empowerment, clear commitments, flexibility, space to grow
- 37:16 – 46:52
Stop trying to build a home in someone else: owning your happiness and embracing ‘boring’ stability
Diego explains the pain of repeatedly seeking refuge in partners and the realization that real refuge must be built within. They discuss how chasing novelty can be a distraction, and how long-term love includes mundane moments that become sweet when you stop chasing highs.
- •Externalizing happiness creates dependency and instability
- •‘Home within yourself’ as a foundation for partnership
- •Signs you’re chasing validation: relentless goal-orientation
- •Healthy relationships can be boring—learning to value simplicity
- 46:52 – 51:30
Boundaries without guilt: self-love, capacity, and the difference between boundaries and walls
The conversation turns to why people struggle to set boundaries—often due to people-pleasing and fear of emotional discomfort. Diego reframes boundaries as what you will and won’t accept, emphasizing they should create nourishment and space, not avoidance and isolation.
- •Boundaries help growth flourish; they should not become walls
- •Boundaries as ‘what I accept / won’t accept’
- •Difficulty setting boundaries often signals low self-love
- •People-pleasing rooted in fear of rejection and tribe dynamics
- 51:30 – 1:06:29
Build a good life: intuition vs fear, three habits, and finding stillness in small moments
Diego shares what it takes to build a good life—embracing growth and change, following intuition, and repeating nourishing habits. They distinguish intuition from fear, then land on three practical habits: gratitude for small things, saying no when overwhelmed, and expressing love openly, all supported by micro-moments of silence and presence.
- •Good life foundations: embrace growth + embrace change
- •Intuition feels calm, bodily, expansive; fear is loud and depleting
- •Three habits: gratitude, protect capacity by saying no, don’t hide your love
- •Stillness practices: silence, short walks, tea, presence for clarity
- 1:06:29 – 1:12:52
Facing the storm and evolving: gentleness during turbulence + journal prompts + closing encouragement
Diego advises that turbulent emotional states are not the time for harsh self-analysis; they’re a time for gentleness, boundaries, and remembering pain is temporary. He offers journal prompts to identify old patterns and recognize current progress, then both close with encouragement to take one tiny step forward.
- •Don’t trust self-judgment when your mind is turbulent
- •Treat yourself gently; let others know you’re having a hard day
- •Journal prompts: past patterns holding you back + what you’re doing differently now
- •Self-awareness enables change; tiny steps create new chapters
