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This One Episode Will Change How You Think About the World & Your Life (From #1 Cancer Doctor)

Order your copy of The Let Them Theory 👉 https://melrob.co/let-them-theory 👈 The #1 Best Selling Book of 2025 🔥 Discover how much power you truly have. It all begins with two simple words. Let Them. — Today, you’re going to learn the life lessons most people learn too late. This episode will teach you exactly what matters most in life. Because in this powerful conversation, Dr. Rahul Jandial, MD, Ph.D. – a world-renowned cancer neurosurgeon and neuroscientist – shares the #1 regret he’s heard from more than 15,000 patients at the end of their lives. Dr. Rahul Jandial is the Medical Director of Neurosurgical Oncology and Skull Base Surgery at City of Hope in Los Angeles, one of the leading cancer centers in the world. He operates on brain cancers and spinal tumors in both adults and children, and he directs a research lab focused on developing cutting-edge neuroscience and cancer treatments. Today, he is going to share what matters most when time is limited: what people wish they’d done sooner, what they wish they’d stopped caring about, and what becomes crystal clear at the end of life - including why so many of us wait too long to start living the life we truly want, and how to shift that starting now. In this episode, he also shares his own story - from college dropout to security guard to neurosurgeon - and how reinventing his life taught him to go after more and trust himself. This episode is both a wake-up call and a lifeline to hold if you are navigating chaos, facing brutal news, or experiencing a hard time. In this episode you will learn: - How to stop postponing the life you want and start making better decisions - What to do when life hits you hard, including a diagnosis, a layoff, a breakup, or the loss of someone you love - How to get through the first hours after brutal news without spiraling or panicking - What to do if you are overwhelmed and not sure what to focus on - A simple daily practice so you can handle chaos with more control - How to bet on yourself even when other people don’t understand it  After this episode, you're going to know exactly what matters most in life and how to find the mindset you need when life hits you with something you didn’t see coming. For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: https://www.melrobbins.com/episode/episode-379/ Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themelrobbinspodcast I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode. In this episode: — Follow Mel: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@melrobbins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melrobbins Website: http://melrobbins.com​ — Sign up for Mel’s newsletter: https://melrob.co/sign-up-newsletter A note from Mel to you, twice a week, sharing simple, practical ways to build the life you want. — Subscribe to Mel’s channel here: https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins​?sub_confirmation=1 — Listen to The Mel Robbins Podcast 🎧 New episodes drop every Monday & Thursday! https://melrob.co/spotify https://melrob.co/applepodcasts https://melrob.co/amazonmusic — Looking for Mel’s books on Amazon? Find them here: The Let Them Theory: https://amzn.to/3IQ21Oe The Let Them Theory Audiobook: https://amzn.to/413SObp The High 5 Habit: https://amzn.to/3fMvfPQ The 5 Second Rule: https://amzn.to/4l54fah

Mel RobbinshostDr. Rahul Jandialguest
Mar 18, 20261h 15mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

A cancer surgeon’s playbook for crisis, change, and meaning now

  1. Jandial distinguishes “crisis mode” from “growth mode,” arguing that survival maneuvers (like simplifying and breathing control) are different from self-improvement practices meant for stable seasons.
  2. He explains how end-of-life patients reveal a coping divide between “I wish I had…” regret-focused narratives and “I’m glad I did…” meaning-focused narratives that are actively constructed.
  3. He frames major life pivots as “amputations” that reallocate limited psychological energy toward what matters most, even when the optics look wrong to others.
  4. He teaches “attentional power” as a trainable skill—using paced nasal breathing—to prevent panic, improve decision-making under stress, and build a reliable crisis toolkit.
  5. Using neuroplasticity examples (spinal recovery, hemispherectomy, myelination), he argues real change comes from consistent moderate practice, not one-time heroic effort or outcome-obsession.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Match your strategy to your season: crisis maneuvers vs growth practices.

Jandial argues advice fails when it ignores context; in crisis you need stabilizing actions (triage, guardrails, breathing), while in stable periods you build practices (walks, meditation, skill-building) that prepare you for the next storm.

When overwhelmed, “amputate” to concentrate limited psychological energy.

He describes dropping out of Berkeley during a period of threat and his mother’s cancer as a deliberate reallocation, not failure; removing one major demand can restore control and capacity to protect what matters most.

Use “I’m glad I did…” to rewrite your life story toward meaning.

From cancer patients, he observes coping improves when people stop looping on “I wish I had…” and instead actively build a coherent narrative of lessons, values, relationships, and growth—even when the event was painful.

Don’t make irreversible decisions in the peak of crisis.

His guidance for people in acute distress: slow the physiology first, set guardrails, and delay life-altering choices until you can plan with support the next day.

Paced nasal breathing is a portable anti-panic tool you must rehearse.

He recommends inhaling for ~3–4 seconds, holding briefly, exhaling slowly, repeating 10–20 cycles in everyday moments (car, line, desk) so it’s automatic when “things go sideways.”

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

If they start talking and they say, 'I wish I had...' then they're not coping well.

— Dr. Rahul Jandial

They never say, 'Oof, I'm glad I was practical and conservative.'

— Dr. Rahul Jandial

Don't count the wins, count the shots.

— Dr. Rahul Jandial

There is no final moment of arrival.

— Dr. Rahul Jandial

Life is beautiful because it's difficult.

— Dr. Rahul Jandial

Crisis vs springtime (stability) mindset“Amputation” decisions and prioritizationAttentional power and paced breathingRegret reframing: “I wish I had” vs “I’m glad I did”Outcome vs opportunity; “count shots, not wins”Moral injury and values-based choicesNeuroplasticity, myelination, and habit grooves

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