What Are You Doing With Your Life? An 89 Year Old’s Best Advice for You

Mel Robbins 0:00 Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins, and today I am so excited. I'm gonna take you on a walk. You're gonna go on a walk with me and my 89-year-old mother-in-law, JJ, and my husband, and our two dogs. And I wanted to do this because my mother-in-law just burst into our house to share some exciting news about a decision that she has made about what she wants to change, and an adventure that she wants to, uh, go on in the next year of her life, at the age of 90. It's pretty crazy, and so we're gonna bring you on a walk. Now, I'm gonna be trying to film this. We'll see how this goes, but I'm thrilled that you're here with me. Let's start the show. All right, you ready to go for a walk?

Judie Robbins 0:40 Yep.

Mel Robbins 0:40 All right, let's do this. I cannot wait for you to share-

Judie Robbins 0:43 Okay

Mel Robbins 0:43 ... this crazy decision that you have made-

Judie Robbins 0:45 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 0:47 ... with everybody.

Judie Robbins 0:48 With the world.

Mel Robbins 0:49 With the world.

Judie Robbins 0:50 I-

Mel Robbins 0:50 Well, I... This is, this is amazing what you've decided to do at 89.

Judie Robbins 0:55 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 0:56 And so I want you to tell the whole story, okay?

Judie Robbins 0:58 Okay, okay, I'll tell, tell the whole story.

Mel Robbins 1:00 Because if you can make a decision like this to do something and switch it up at your age, anybody can make this decision at any age. I love this.

Judie Robbins 1:10 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 1:11 Okay.

Mel Robbins 1:12 All right. So, Jude.

Judie Robbins 1:13 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 1:14 Let's reverse to when you came into the kitchen, and you tell me, tell me what, what happened.

Judie Robbins 1:21 Well-

Mel Robbins 1:21 So you were, you were literally... Start with you went to New York to see the thing, you took a gummy. Let's start there.

Judie Robbins 1:26 [laughs] Do I have to tell the world the whole thing?

Mel Robbins 1:30 Why not?

Judie Robbins 1:30 Okay. So I went to New York with my partner, John, and we went out to dinner. We had a gummy, and then we went and saw Luminaries at St Pat's.

Mel Robbins 1:42 Okay.

Judie Robbins 1:42 Which is the most amazing light show you've ever seen.

Mel Robbins 1:45 So St Pat's is what?

Judie Robbins 1:47 St Patrick's Cathedral.

Mel Robbins 1:49 Okay.

Judie Robbins 1:49 Church.

Mel Robbins 1:50 Okay.

Judie Robbins 1:50 You know, in New York.

Mel Robbins 1:51 Okay.

Judie Robbins 1:52 So afterwards we were... We went... Oh, afterwards we went to the St Regis to have a port, [laughs] which is, they have a wonderful bar at the St Regis.

Mel Robbins 2:04 Okay.

Judie Robbins 2:05 And I said to John, I had this vision. I said, "Why don't we just drop everything and go away for a year to Europe? And you've got all sorts of places you wanna travel that I've already been to and that you never have, and we'll just put a backpack on and get on a train and go."

Mel Robbins 2:25 Okay, now how old are you?

Judie Robbins 2:27 I'll be 90 next September. I was just 89.

Mel Robbins 2:30 And how old is John?

Judie Robbins 2:32 He'll be 85.

Mel Robbins 2:33 Okay, so he's a... Ooh, you're a cradle robber, lady.

Judie Robbins 2:36 I am.

Mel Robbins 2:37 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 2:37 I, I'm a cougar. [laughs]

Mel Robbins 2:42 [laughs] Oh, my God. You are so funny. Okay, so he's 85.

Judie Robbins 2:48 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 2:49 You're 89, and you're proposing to your partner, John, that you guys rent your houses, get backpacks, and you go to Europe.

Judie Robbins 3:01 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 3:01 For how long?

Judie Robbins 3:02 A year.

Mel Robbins 3:03 A year? [laughs]

Judie Robbins 3:05 Well, we're, we're only-

Mel Robbins 3:06 At, at 90?

Judie Robbins 3:07 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 3:08 Well, first of all, I don't, we don't have to use sticks.

Mel Robbins 3:12 So you have so many friends that have sticks. What does that mean?

Judie Robbins 3:14 You know, walking sticks, because they don't have any balance. And I said to John, "If we're as in good a shape as we're in now-

Mel Robbins 3:24 Yep

Judie Robbins 3:24 ... let's take advantage of it. Why wait? What are we waiting for?" You know, so many people say, "Oh, well, okay, I'll do that next week." Now, I have to tell you that one of the impetus that got me going was this very good friend of ours who is 62 years old, just died in a car crash three weeks ago. And at the memorial service, he said, this cousin said, "Just remember one thing. Don't wait. You know, don't wait to say I love you. Don't wait to go to your favorite restaurant. Don't wait to take that trip you've always wanted to. Just do it." And that's what I wanna do, now, 'cause I, 'cause I can. [laughs]

Mel Robbins 4:14 It's true. I mean, at 89, because you've been walking every day for the last 30 years and you do resistance training and you take good care of yourself, you can do it. And what I find amazing is that I think a lot of people start to, as they get older, you start to think you're just kind of stuck where you are. And for you, at your age, to say, "Wait a minute, I, I don't wanna keep doing life the way I've been doing it," 'cause you, you also... Normally you, like a lot of people, go to a warmer place for the winter. And you also had something interesting to say about the fact that you're sick of mahjong, you're sick of... Like, tell me a little bit more about that.

Judie Robbins 4:59 Well, it's just that, uh, you know, I never wanna complain because I have a beautiful life.

Mel Robbins 5:05 Yep.

Judie Robbins 5:05 So it isn't a complaint, but I'm tired of, in the summertime, going to the club for dinner, playing bridge, playing golf. Now, that's a terrible thing to say, that I'm tired of that when I'm so privileged, but it's just that it's a routine. I've been doing it. I'm now moving into the last stage of my life, and I'd like to do something different. And, and by the way, I used to live in London, so going back to London, [laughs] I said to John, "It's really kind of weird. I lived in London with my husband, and I'm returning with my lover." [laughs]

Mel Robbins 5:43 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 5:49 And, and, and no children. [laughs]

Mel Robbins 5:51 Well, that makes it even better.

Judie Robbins 5:53 Yeah, exactly.

Mel Robbins 5:55 Well, I just am very inspired by this idea, that you can have a good life- And you can at any moment wake up and say, "Hey, wait a minute. Like, why am I waiting to shake things up?" You can always come back. You can always change your mind if you're renting your place. And I also love that at your age, you have so many friends that live in so many places that you've been talking about the fact that you can live, um, you can live, you can actually w- rent, uh, in somebody's flat that you know in London, that there is somebody-

Judie Robbins 6:32 Well, we don't know that we can do that yet.

Mel Robbins 6:33 Okay.

Judie Robbins 6:34 If, if we have to rent from somebody we don't know, we just hope we can find a place to rent.

Mel Robbins 6:39 Of course you can. What does John, your lover and partner, say about this?

Judie Robbins 6:43 Well, [laughs] John is a complete opposite kind of person than me.

Mel Robbins 6:49 Okay.

Judie Robbins 6:50 And he's... He likes everything organized, everything in a place. He, he's a news junkie, so he likes to sit in his computer. And I'm just the opposite. I'd rather sit with a book and go into la-la land, you know, somebody else's, than facts.

Mel Robbins 7:10 Yes.

Judie Robbins 7:11 I don't... I know, I don't, just, it doesn't do it for me. So for him, and he also has a house. He worries about his house.

Mel Robbins 7:19 Of course.

Judie Robbins 7:19 He likes to take care of it.

Mel Robbins 7:20 Of course.

Judie Robbins 7:21 So-

Mel Robbins 7:21 I mean, that's a big deal to go away for a year.

Judie Robbins 7:23 Yes. So w-

Mel Robbins 7:25 And I love that at 85 and 90, you guys are gonna get backpacks and just go.

Judie Robbins 7:30 [laughs] Oh, and then John said, "Backpack? No, I'm not a backpack kind of guy." [laughs] I said, "Well, okay, you take your suitcase and I'll take the backpack." [laughs]

Mel Robbins 7:41 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 7:42 I have smaller clothes. [laughs]

Mel Robbins 7:45 Oh, my God.

Judie Robbins 7:46 Well.

Mel Robbins 7:48 Why do you think it's important to recognize that you can mix things up any time you want?

Judie Robbins 7:56 I think the thing that people have to remember is that you have no guarantee that there's tomorrow. So mix things up now. I mean, you and I and Christopher are taking a walk. It, this is a terrible thing to say, but this might be the last time we ever walk on this loop.

Mel Robbins 8:18 Oh, God, don't say that.

Judie Robbins 8:19 I know. I d- I, I mean, I don't want it to be a downer, but it's the truth.

Mel Robbins 8:25 It's true.

Judie Robbins 8:26 You know? So, you know, when you said, "Let's take a walk," and I said, "Oh, I don't know, it might be too cold"...

Mel Robbins 8:33 Yes

Judie Robbins 8:34 ... I thought, "You know, it's never too cold. As long as you can walk, get out and walk."

Mel Robbins 8:39 It's true. I do think it's the most spectacular fall we've ever seen. Ever.

Judie Robbins 8:43 I do. Well, I-

Mel Robbins 8:43 I mean, I went, you know, having gone to college in New Hampshire, having come here for 33 years, I've never seen a fall this-

Judie Robbins 8:50 This spectacular

Mel Robbins 8:51 ... extraordinary.

Judie Robbins 8:52 I know.

Mel Robbins 8:53 Don't wait.

Judie Robbins 8:54 Yes. Don't wait.

Mel Robbins 8:55 Don't wait. So many reasons, whether, "Well, our kids are little," or, "Well, my job," don't wait. What if you decided, "Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna create a new chapter right now"? Like, a- absolutely as you're listening to this, whether you're 58 like me, or 56 like Chris. I'm a cougar too, I guess.

Judie Robbins 9:15 You're k- [laughs]

Mel Robbins 9:18 [laughs] Um.

Judie Robbins 9:20 We're s-

Mel Robbins 9:20 Don't wait. Like, if, if I were to say to you, "Okay, you've got six months or a year to figure out how to get a backpack and go to Europe, and be in Europe for a year," I bet if you gave yourself six months to a year to figure it out, you could do it. 'Cause you're gonna start this in August, and that's, like, eight months from now.

Judie Robbins 9:44 I know. No. Well, yeah, that's true.

Mel Robbins 9:48 With the access to information that we have today, that's a lot of time to- That's a lot of time. AI could help you figure out how to do that even.

Judie Robbins 9:54 Oh, well, John is so good at that. Every time we travel, he goes to AI, and w- next thing you know, we're going from Seattle to Roseburg, Oregon, and there's, like, 20 places that we have to stop-

Mel Robbins 10:05 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 10:06 ... to see, you know, this view and these woods and, because AI tells you these are the things you should see.

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Mel Robbins 11:19 Talk to us about this funeral that inspired you to shake things up, and what it's like at 89 to have so many friends that are, you know, dying, and-

Judie Robbins 11:37 Well-

Mel Robbins 11:37 ... that are dec- that are deteriorating or, or struggling with dementia, like...

Judie Robbins 11:42 You know, I think, Mel, the, the actual, the memorial service that I went to this weekend was after the fact. I'd already made up my mind I wanted to go away. I think what really got to me was I play duplicate bridge at my club on Wednesdays.

Mel Robbins 12:01 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 12:01 And our instructor, Andy Avery, we had dinner with him.

Mel Robbins 12:05 Yep.

Judie Robbins 12:06 And I said to Andy, "You know what? I looked around the room-" At bridge tonight, and I said to myself, "You know, in five years none of us are gonna be here. [laughs] What are you gonna do about bridge? We're all old" And he said, "It, it's a dying game in many ways because your generation isn't picking it up. You're not playing bridge." And that's when I really started thinking, "In five years if none of us are gonna be playing bridge, then we better do whatever we wanna do now."

Mel Robbins 12:40 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 12:40 Just get up and do it. It's... Mel, it's very much like your f- first aha, when you decided that you had to get out of bed.

Mel Robbins 12:50 Yes.

Judie Robbins 12:50 The five, four, three, two, one.

Mel Robbins 12:54 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 12:54 Okay? It's the same kinda feeling. Just do it.

Mel Robbins 13:00 That's true. What are we all sitting around waiting for?

Judie Robbins 13:03 What, what are we waiting for? Just like Waiting for Godot. Did you ever see that? [laughs]

Mel Robbins 13:08 Long time ago.

Judie Robbins 13:09 Oh, a long time ago.

Mel Robbins 13:12 It's funny because we're, we're, we're waiting for the right time, and yet time is the thing that's most precious. Time is not waiting for us.

Judie Robbins 13:22 Exactly.

Mel Robbins 13:25 Well, you know what?

Judie Robbins 13:26 We're all into making excuses.

Mel Robbins 13:31 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 13:31 We all make excuses. Um, and one of the things years and years and years ago-

Mel Robbins 13:39 Yeah

Judie Robbins 13:39 ... we, my husband-

Mel Robbins 13:41 John

Judie Robbins 13:41 ... and I went to EST, E-S-T.

Mel Robbins 13:43 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 13:45 And they had taught us all sorts of things, but one of the things that I remember so vividly is when you go someplace, you should get there on time. Because you're told that you are gonna be there at 6:30, go be there at 6:30. But the one thing that you should remember is-

Mel Robbins 14:02 Uh, uh

Judie Robbins 14:03 ... if you're late, you're late, period. There's no excuse. You don't have to go on and on and on about the traffic or my children-

Mel Robbins 14:14 Yeah

Judie Robbins 14:14 ... or whatever. The point is that you're late. And I don't know where I'm going with this.

Mel Robbins 14:20 [laughs] I don't either.

Judie Robbins 14:21 No, I don't know.

Mel Robbins 14:22 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 14:22 No, I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess there's, there's no excuses. Oh, I know where I was going. Where we say, "Oh well, I can't do it now."

Mel Robbins 14:33 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 14:33 "I can do it, I can do it tomorrow."

Mel Robbins 14:36 'Cause I would think at 89 you got a lot of reasons not to-

Judie Robbins 14:41 Oh

Mel Robbins 14:41 ... just throw it all up in the air, change plans, go figure it out, rent out your place, go rent somebody else's place, go spend a year somewhere else. But I guess when I really stop and think about it, time's more precious 'cause you have less of it.

Judie Robbins 15:05 That's for sure, and I think about it all the time.

Mel Robbins 15:08 What do you mean?

Judie Robbins 15:09 Well, you know, when you're young you think about where you're gonna go to college, if you're gonna get married, what kind of a career am I gonna have, all the things, house that I'm gonna buy. Now at my age I think about, I know this is sounds wild when, where is my memorial service gonna be? [laughs] How many years do I have left?

Mel Robbins 15:35 How many years do you think you have left?

Judie Robbins 15:37 Well, [laughs] every year that I have another birthday I add on another year. [laughs] I used to think, "Well, if I could live to 90 that would be great." Well, since that's next year, that's not long enough.

Mel Robbins 15:54 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 15:55 So, so I think I'd like to live to about 98. Maybe 100 if I had a mind. I don't wanna lose my mind.

Mel Robbins 16:07 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 16:09 I said to Christopher, "If I lose my mind you just shoot me."

Mel Robbins 16:12 Will you stop?

Judie Robbins 16:13 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 16:13 Do not say that.

Judie Robbins 16:15 Oh.

Mel Robbins 16:15 Well, you won't know what's happening anyway, so we're doing no such thing.

Judie Robbins 16:18 That's true. [laughs]

Mel Robbins 16:24 I think it's important to have a number in mind, because it gives you something to look forward to-

Judie Robbins 16:27 Absolutely

Mel Robbins 16:28 ... and to live for.

Judie Robbins 16:29 Yep.

Mel Robbins 16:30 Otherwise, you're just biding your time. Which I hate to say, I increasingly notice that the older folks in my life seem to be bi- just kind of, I don't know-

Judie Robbins 16:47 Waiting for Godot

Mel Robbins 16:48 ... wait- waiting.

Judie Robbins 16:48 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 16:49 Waiting for the time to pass. We're waiting for the right time, but time is not waiting for us. And I found it so inspiring how you just walked straight into our kitchen this morning and said, "Guess what? I have an idea. I think John and I are gonna go live in Europe for a year." And I'm thinking, "Wait, what?"

Judie Robbins 17:11 Well, of course I-

Mel Robbins 17:12 You're, no, you're 90.

Judie Robbins 17:13 I haven't really convinced John yet. He's a little more of a stick in mud, but Chinese torture will do it.

Mel Robbins 17:21 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 17:21 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 17:22 Just keep going and going and going.

Judie Robbins 17:24 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 17:25 You can have a really good life, you can have worked hard to be in a really good routine.

Judie Robbins 17:31 Yeah.

Mel Robbins 17:31 And it works for a while, and then all of a sudden you just have this epiphany that even though you're grateful for what you have, and even though the routine is nice and enjoyable, that you just want something different. You wanna experience something different. And I find it very inspiring that at 89 you have the epiphany, "Wow, I wanna shake things up." And so what did you turn to your... what'd you turn to John and say?

Judie Robbins 18:01 I said, "I, I know this is crazy, but what do you think about just going and living in Europe for a year?"

Mel Robbins 18:08 [laughs]

Judie Robbins 18:10 And he said, "You're out of your mind." [laughs] He's like, "Bartender, can we get another cocktail over here?"

Mel Robbins 18:18 [laughs] Cut her off, is what he should have said.

Judie Robbins 18:20 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 18:21 And, but you weren't out of your mind. You were very clear.

Judie Robbins 18:25 No, I was very clear. And I had to point out all the things that he could do.

Mel Robbins 18:31 Like what?

Judie Robbins 18:32 Well, he could rent his house. I don't have to rent mines. And I can't rent here in Vermont, because all the kids keep coming into my house, so.

Mel Robbins 18:40 Okay. All right, so he could rent his house. What else?

Judie Robbins 18:44 He has to do something with his cat.

Mel Robbins 18:46 Yeah, okay. We're not gonna discuss that, but keep going.

Judie Robbins 18:48 He goes, "She's nuts." And I said, "You know, y- you are healthy. Who knows? You might have, lose your mind like half of our friends have next year, and we'll go anyhow. You just won't remember." [laughs] Oh, God.

Mel Robbins 19:11 So you didn't get a yes at the bar.

Judie Robbins 19:13 No, I, he still thought I-

Mel Robbins 19:14 You got a "huh."

Judie Robbins 19:16 That was three days ago. He still thinks I'm crazy.

Mel Robbins 19:19 Okay.

Judie Robbins 19:19 And oh, oh-

Mel Robbins 19:20 And then tell me what happened, 'cause then you go to a funeral.

Judie Robbins 19:23 Oh. Then yesterday, I went to this memorial service, which was so beautiful, as they s- put her ashes into the Battenkill River, and we all threw flowers. And her-

Mel Robbins 19:38 Tell me what, tell me what they did. It sounds really beautiful.

Judie Robbins 19:41 It was, he, a, a friend of mine, his sister died, this, in car crash. She was 62. And he'd had the same memorial service for his wife-

Mel Robbins 19:53 Okay

Judie Robbins 19:53 ... like six years ago, where they put the ashes into the river, and then we all threw flowers into the river on top-

Mel Robbins 20:02 Oh, of the ashes

Judie Robbins 20:03 ... of the ashes.

Mel Robbins 20:04 Beautiful.

Judie Robbins 20:05 It was amazing. And that's when her cousin was talking about don't wait. Carol, like t- two weeks ago at night, and said when he hung up the phone, before he hung up the phone, he said, "We'll talk about it tomorrow morning when we have coffee."

Mel Robbins 20:28 Yep.

Judie Robbins 20:28 And she said, "Great, I'll see you tomorrow morning." And tomorrow morning came at 6:30, and she hit a truck, and that was the end of her life. So he was saying, "My message is, don't wait. You know, why did we have to wait till tomorrow morning to ta- Why didn't we just get together that morning?"

Mel Robbins 20:49 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 20:49 You know what I'm saying?

Mel Robbins 20:50 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 20:52 Anyway, that just solidified more for me to say to John, "Let's not wait. Let's just do it now while we can."

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Mel Robbins 23:05 What's it like to be 89?

Judie Robbins 23:08 Well, I'm lucky, Mel, at 89, because I'm still healthy. I still have my mind. I can still do all the things that I've always done, a little slower, like we're walking at a pace where I could be a little out of breath. [laughs] Um, but as long as I'm so lucky and so fortunate, then I... Well, l- let me back up. Your podcast-

Mel Robbins 23:44 Yep

Judie Robbins 23:45 ... that you did with Oprah-

Mel Robbins 23:47 Yes

Judie Robbins 23:47 ... really hit home to me, and I don't listen to all your podcasts, but that one in particular I did. And Oprah said, "We're all been put here for a reason. Not necessarily that things happen for a reason, but we're here," 'cause she's very spiritual, as you said.

Mel Robbins 24:09 Yes.

Judie Robbins 24:09 And she felt that she had tapped you, more or less, to take her place, which I thought was pretty powerful. And she said- You need to figure out why you're here. What is the reason that you're here on this earth? And that, I really started to think about it. And there are two things. One, I'm a connector.

Mel Robbins 24:34 Mm-hmm.

Judie Robbins 24:34 I know that. So, but more importantly, I know that I'm an inspiration. And I've had so many people say to me, "Oh, my God, you really inspire me. You know, you still walk four miles a day. You do this. You do this." And so what Oprah says, if you fi- if you realize why you're here, don't stop. In other words, just because I figured out that I'm an inspiration at 89 doesn't mean that I can just l- sit back and rest on my laurels.

Mel Robbins 25:11 Yeah.

Judie Robbins 25:11 I have to continue being an inspiration, and this certainly will inspire more people.

Mel Robbins 25:18 Well, it also inspires you.

Judie Robbins 25:20 Yes.

Mel Robbins 25:21 You know what I'm saying? Like, it's not even just- It's not out there. It's not necessarily out there.

Judie Robbins 25:26 Yeah. Yep.

Mel Robbins 25:26 It's that you've gotta live your life in a way that you continue to be inspired.

Judie Robbins 25:31 Exactly.

Mel Robbins 25:32 And when you get to a moment in your life, and it can hit you at any moment... John Grisham came on the podcast and talked about these golden moments when a light goes off inside you, and you never see it coming and you're forever changed. And I would say that moment at the St. Regis bar where you're, like, right after the light show at the St. Patrick's Cathedral where you have this light go off and you say, "Wait a minute, how about we go live in Europe? How about we backpack? Why don't we do that, like, even though I'm 90 and you're gonna be... You're in your late 80s. L- like, let's change." That's an example of what it means to be an inspiration.

Judie Robbins 26:15 You know, there's one other tag that I would put on there. We're talking about money and how people react to money, and I think it's inbred. Like my dad, for instance, you know, no money. The, the electricity could be turned off, but as soon as he got some client to buy some insurance, he'd be at the antique store buying a silver service, and then he'd bring it home, and then my mother would have to return it 'cause [laughs] there wasn't any money. But I think I have that mentality of my father.

Mel Robbins 26:50 Hmm.

Judie Robbins 26:50 Like, I don't worry about it. It's, as long as you-

Mel Robbins 26:54 I'm that way, too.

Judie Robbins 26:56 You're, you're not?

Mel Robbins 26:57 I, I, I... The more I think about money, the less I make. The more I don't worry about it, and I, I do... I'm a very big saver, though.

Judie Robbins 27:07 Well, I save-

Mel Robbins 27:08 Having almost lost everything

Judie Robbins 27:09 ... I, I'm, I, I, I'm a saver, but, but I also can spend.

Mel Robbins 27:15 I thought it was very interesting what you were saying, though, because the idea of doing something exciting and changing things up and, you know, using your savings or being more strategic and intentional, you were saying that another thing that happens as an excuse for, you know, f- friends, people your age, you're 89, is that you've noticed that people your age don't wanna spend the money they've saved because they think they're supposed to keep it for their kids.

Judie Robbins 27:47 Yes.

Mel Robbins 27:47 But that seems stupid that you would limit your own life and rob yourself of experiences.

Judie Robbins 27:54 But everybody feels that way when you get older.

Mel Robbins 27:57 Well, let's talk about that, 'cause I don't live my life as if my parents owe me anything-

Judie Robbins 28:01 Well, I know, and I don't-

Mel Robbins 28:01 ... or they're leaving me anything

Judie Robbins 28:02 ... I, I, I don't think you, your, you kids expect us, that we owe you something or that your parents owe you. I think it's just a mentality, and I think that when you get to be older, you're gonna think, "You know, I wanna leave some money for my kids." That's all.

Mel Robbins 28:18 Yep. Yeah. That, I understand that. I guess I'm just saying, like, if... That's a, that's a wonderful and beautiful thing to do, and I also would hate to think of someone who has the opportunity to travel or to do things at the end of their life, that they're not doing it so that they can leave the money to somebody else.

Judie Robbins 28:39 Well, I th- I agree with you 100%, but unfortunately, I don't think that's how people feel, and it's just something that's in our... Forever it's been like that. Parents feel like that.

Mel Robbins 28:52 Huh.

Judie Robbins 28:52 And I don't think it can change.

Mel Robbins 28:54 Well, it can change.

Judie Robbins 28:55 Well, it can. I mean, I'm not-

Mel Robbins 28:57 Absolutely can change.

Judie Robbins 28:59 But there's one other thing I wanted to add, and Christopher will remember this. When we were sitting at the table and Christopher was only about 11-

Mel Robbins 29:10 Yep

Judie Robbins 29:11 ... actually, we weren't, we were traveling with his father, Christopher just sat at the table with his hands like this. And everybody was asking him questions and, you know, this, and he would just kind of nod. And I said to Christopher, "There's one thing that you should remember. If you're not interested, you will not be interesting." And just think about that. If you're not interested in the other person, you're not an interesting person.

Mel Robbins 29:44 It's true.

Judie Robbins 29:44 And when you get to be old, like me, people really don't wanna be around old people because they're boring. They are boring. You know, they're gonna tell you about their childhood and then their college and their marriage, and who cares? But so I think that it's important not only to do something now, 'cause you can, do something that you think is interesting and is fun. And guess what? You can regurgitate it back to y- your family or whomever, and stop talking about your aches and pains.

Mel Robbins 30:21 Come on, boys.

Judie Robbins 30:26 And Christopher, don't you remember-

Mel Robbins 30:27 It's true, 'cause it does seem even at 58 everyone's talking about how this hurts or that hurts or the other thing.

Judie Robbins 30:32 Oh, my God. Everybody talks about their, how they feel. And d- do we really care?

Mel Robbins 30:38 No.

Judie Robbins 30:38 I mean-

Mel Robbins 30:39 No

Judie Robbins 30:39 ... if you're throwing up, I don't want you doing that on my carpet, but-

Mel Robbins 30:42 No

Judie Robbins 30:42 ... [laughs] you, you take care of yourself.

Mel Robbins 30:45 I love this idea that you need to push yourself to keep shaking things up because it keeps your life interesting, and then you have interesting experiences to share, and interesting people that you're gonna meet.

Judie Robbins 30:58 Exactly. Exactly. Just think of all the people you'll meet if you travel around to all these different countries, and particularly with someone like John, we're both

Judie Robbins 31:08 chatterboxes.

Mel Robbins 31:09 What's the message to people that don't have the means? Well, if you don't have the means to do it, I think there are ways that you can take this, 'cause it's a really important point, Chris, and just stop and ask yourself, is your routine too routine?

Judie Robbins 31:24 There, that's-

Mel Robbins 31:24 Have you gotten bored of your own life?

Judie Robbins 31:26 Exactly.

Mel Robbins 31:28 Are you, have you squeezed all the juice from this chapter? And if you're kind of bored with your routine, then that's the only answer that you need, and it tells you that it's time to shake things up. That even at 89, you're still meant to grow and explore and learn and, you know, push yourself into new chapters. And it doesn't require you to go live in a different country or go travel backpacking for a year. It requires you to wake up and make a decision that you're a little bored of your life, and that's okay. It means you worked hard to build what you've built. You work where you work. You see the people you see. You move through your day how you move through your day. You eat what you eat, and at any moment, you can decide, I don't wanna spend the rest of my life in this routine. I wanna experience something new. And so, Chris, it could be literally the moment you so- you go from thinking about it to saying, "I'm doing it," all of the sudden your mind shifts, and you go from seeing the excuses to seeing possibility. Yeah, you just need to let the consideration of doing it percolate a little bit, then it starts to come alive.

Judie Robbins 32:59 Exactly.

Mel Robbins 32:59 That's why hopefully John's back at home. Meaning you're not stuck where you live. You're not stuck in this pattern. You're not stuck in this version. And even when you change, and you move or you take on an adventure or figure out how to do it, you're not stuck in it either. Oh, my God. I'm always out of breath.

Judie Robbins 33:21 I am too. I gotta stop.

Mel Robbins 33:22 Okay.

Judie Robbins 33:23 Ah.

Mel Robbins 33:25 So glad you said that.

Judie Robbins 33:29 So, the thing...

Mel Robbins 33:29 [clears throat]

Judie Robbins 33:31 I'm out of, I'm out of breath.

Judie Robbins 33:33 Um...

Mel Robbins 33:35 This is the most glorious fall I've ever seen.

Judie Robbins 33:37 There's one saying that one should always remember, and you know it. It's, "The past is history, the future, a mystery. The present is a gift. That's why we call it a present."

Mel Robbins 33:58 Hmm.

Judie Robbins 33:59 Ah.

Mel Robbins 33:59 It's beautiful.

Judie Robbins 34:03 So live in the present.

Mel Robbins 34:04 Live in the present. Thoughts, Jude?

Judie Robbins 34:07 Oh.

Mel Robbins 34:08 Chris? Parting words. Parting words.

Judie Robbins 34:13 Parting words. Don't wait. That's all I have to say to all of you. If you have one thing you wanna do, if you have a phone call to a friend that you haven't talked to, call them today. Don't wait.

Mel Robbins 34:30 If you have a chapter you wanna live, begin it.

Judie Robbins 34:34 Exactly.

Mel Robbins 34:35 Don't wait. Well, Judy, I love you.

Judie Robbins 34:39 I love you too, Mel.

Mel Robbins 34:40 I'm so excited for you.

Judie Robbins 34:41 [laughs] Thank you.

Mel Robbins 34:42 Poor John doesn't have a chance.

Judie Robbins 34:45 No. [laughs]

Mel Robbins 34:45 You've already decided. It's happening. He's thinking she's already gone.

Judie Robbins 34:49 [laughs]

Mel Robbins 34:49 [laughs] That's right. Don't wait. Don't, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Wait a minute. [laughs] Don't wait. Hey, bud. How are you? Okay. Well, thanks for going on a walk with me and, uh, my mother-in-law, my husband, Chris, and our dogs. I hope that this inspired you to shake things up, change your routine, create a new chapter. Uh, don't wait. You get one life, and I really hope that you decide to do something really interesting to you in the next year. And in case no one else tells you this, I wanted to tell you that I love you and I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life, and a better life is not one that you create by waiting. You create it by deciding to make it better and interesting and adventurous while you still can. Ha. Mwah. Alrighty, and thank you for watching all the way to the end here on YouTube. I love being here with you. Um, if the subscribe button is lit up, do me a favor and hit subscribe. It's the best way to support your friend Mel Robbins and our team, and, uh, support us in bringing you The Mel Robbins Podcast here on YouTube for free so that you get the expert wisdom, you get the support and encouragement from friends like me and my mother-in-law and my husband to create a better life. Alrighty. I know you wanna watch another video. You're gonna love this one, and I will welcome you in the moment you hit play.