The Mel Robbins PodcastYou Can Make a Difference: Remarkable Story To Inspire You to Do Something Big | Mel Robbins Podcast
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 4:36
Meet Lorenzo Lewis & the big problem: stigma and distrust in mental health care
Mel introduces Lorenzo Lewis and the core challenge his work tackles: stigma around therapy and a widespread lack of trust in mental health providers. She tees up the surprising solution—delivering support through barbers and beauticians—while framing the episode as a call for listeners to create change without permission.
- •Therapy stigma persists (seeking help seen as weakness)
- •Many people don’t fully trust mental health providers
- •Lorenzo created a creative model connecting grooming spaces to mental health support
- •Episode promise: an inspiring story about making a tangible difference
- 4:36 – 8:24
What The Confess Project does: training barbers and stylists as mental health advocates
Lorenzo defines The Confess Project’s mission and explains the model at a high level. The organization trains barbers and stylists to become better listeners, reduce stigma, and support community well-being at scale.
- •Nonprofit model centered on barbers and stylists as frontline advocates
- •3,000+ barbers/stylists trained across dozens of cities and states
- •Focus on listening skills, support, and stigma reduction
- •Community impact through trusted, everyday relationships
- 8:24 – 12:15
Where the idea really came from: growing up in the beauty shop
Lorenzo traces the roots of his idea to his childhood: his aunt took him in and worked as a beautician, making the beauty shop a daily home base. He describes the shop as a “village” where stories, mentorship, and emotional support naturally happened—planting the seed for the project years later.
- •Aunt intervenes to keep him out of foster care; she’s a beautician
- •Beauty shop as after-school home: homework, meals, community
- •A barber mentor becomes an early guide and stabilizing presence
- •Shops function as places where people share struggles and wins
- 12:15 – 15:58
Why Black barber & beauty shops are cultural hubs (history, economics, and community)
Mel and Lorenzo expand from Lorenzo’s personal experience to the broader cultural role of Black-owned shops. He explains their historical significance as organizing spaces, trusted caretaking environments, and engines of economic mobility and community connection.
- •Civil Rights-era organizing and community leadership intersections
- •Barbers historically viewed as caretakers (even “doctors”)
- •Entrepreneurship and a pathway to generational wealth
- •Unique mixing of social classes—like church, everyone gathers together
- 15:58 – 18:44
Childhood mental health: feeling lost, unseen, and angry without the words for it
Lorenzo describes what it felt like to grow up without language for depression, anxiety, and grief—especially after losing his father at age 10 and being separated from his parents. Mel highlights how unmet mental health needs often look like “bad behavior,” especially in school settings.
- •Core emotions: lost, unheard, angry, anxious questions about belonging
- •Children internalize blame when adults avoid “the real story”
- •Behavior is often a symptom of unrecognized mental health struggles
- •Anger can be the surface expression of grief and unmet needs
- 18:44 – 24:57
Behavioral health placement, shame, and the early lesson of stigma
Lorenzo recounts being placed in a behavioral health facility as a child after school expulsions and escalating emotions. Returning to school brought shame and secrecy—an early, personal encounter with mental health stigma that later shaped his mission.
- •Two-month behavioral health placement with therapy and structure
- •Experience felt dark and isolating at a young age
- •Shame upon returning to school fuels hiding and “rebranding” the truth
- •Stigma teaches kids to avoid openness and support
- 24:57 – 29:07
Teen years, gangs, and the proverb that explains it: ‘If the village doesn’t warm you…’
As a teenager, Lorenzo’s unresolved pain and disconnection contributed to joining a gang and being incarcerated due to a firearm. He shares a proverb to capture the dynamic: when a child doesn’t feel loved by the village, they may lash out and burn it down.
- •Unmet emotional needs can funnel young people toward risky belonging
- •Gang involvement and incarceration linked to deeper mental health wounds
- •Proverb frames behavior as a symptom of disconnection and unmet care
- •Aunt and uncle’s values remain a key anchor despite the detour
- 29:07 – 37:03
The courtroom turning point: keeping his word and choosing a new path
Lorenzo describes the decisive moment before court where he realized incarceration could become his life story—just like his parents’. Given a second chance, he promised the judge he would go to college and never return to the system, then followed through.
- •Epiphany: “This is where I was born—this won’t be where I end up.”
- •Second chance influenced by family advocacy and clean prior record
- •Promise to the judge becomes a personal contract and north star
- •Reconnection to values enables a full life pivot
- 37:03 – 44:36
Inside the hospital system: discovering the representation and trust gap in care
Working in an inpatient mental health hospital setting, Lorenzo saw repeated cycles: patients returning, feeling unheard, and distrusting the system. He noticed how lack of representation and cultural connection—especially for Black patients—creates barriers to feeling honored, included, and supported.
- •Inpatient context: crisis-level mental health care and repeated admissions
- •Key insight: patients didn’t feel honored, included, or understood
- •Representation matters; cultural mismatch can block trust and openness
- •Historical distrust of institutions compounds access and engagement gaps
- 44:36 – 52:02
From community events to a breakthrough: reaching men where they already are
Lorenzo explains how early community mental health events worked—until he tried to reach men directly and they didn’t show up. That barrier pushed him toward a culturally grounded strategy: leveraging barbershops and salons as trusted spaces where vulnerability is already happening.
- •Early outreach through churches and town halls built momentum
- •Problem: men often wouldn’t attend mental health-focused events
- •Manhood norms, media cues, and cultural conditioning reduce vulnerability
- •Shops become the practical, stigma-resistant point of entry
- 52:02 – 58:03
The Confess Project’s 4-part therapeutic formula (and how it works in the chair)
Lorenzo breaks down the training framework: active listening, validation, positive communication, and stigma reduction. He and Mel walk through how a barber might apply these skills in real conversations and how the program includes resource directories beyond emotional support.
- •Four skills: active listening, validation, positive communication, stigma reduction
- •Small “chair conversations” can interrupt spirals of shame and anxiety
- •Barbers/stylists also get practical referral resources (housing, healthcare, jobs)
- •Goal: help people feel better on the outside and supported on the inside
- 58:03 – 1:12:44
Proof it works: Harvard study results and real-world suicide prevention stories
Lorenzo describes a Harvard Medical School study and what it validated: barbers can function as mental health and suicide-prevention gatekeepers, with ripple effects on violence and domestic issues. He also shares specific stories where training helped barbers respond effectively in suicidal crises.
- •Harvard study: barbers as mental health/suicide prevention gatekeepers
- •Findings include potential impact on community violence and domestic violence
- •High preference for receiving support in a barbershop vs. a clinic
- •Case stories: Tennessee intervention vs. Philadelphia scenario without tools
- 1:12:44 – 1:15:02
Building the nonprofit for real: resistance, credibility, quitting the job, and scaling
Lorenzo details early skepticism from barbershops, then the credibility gained through testimonials and industry partnerships. He shares the leap of quitting his job with minimal savings, why urgency drove fast execution, and what differentiates a calling from a career.
- •Early pushback: “Who are you, and how will this work here?”
- •Momentum built through early adopters, testimonials, and repetition
- •Corporate sponsors (e.g., grooming brands) boost legitimacy and reach
- •He quits his job to go all-in; urgency driven by suicide crisis statistics
- 1:15:02 – 1:17:30
Vision, listener call-to-action, and closing message about making a difference
Mel closes by urging listeners to act on their ideas—no permission required—and to serve the person they used to be. Lorenzo outlines a global scaling vision, including virtual training and expansion into other frontline professions, followed by Mel’s standard outro and disclaimer.
- •Future vision: expand training model broadly (including virtual scale)
- •Model already adapted for other groups (first responders, educators, law enforcement)
- •Mel’s takeaway: you can make a difference without credentials or permission
- •Outro includes educational-only disclaimer and final send-off
