Dating, Finances & Happiness - James Smith | Modern Wisdom Podcast 362

James Smith is a PT and not a life coach. It's a weird time to be alive. The rules are completely out of the window for dating, finding a balance between socialising and work is basically impossible, there are a million different ways to organise your personal finances and that's before you even start to throw Tinder into the mix. Expect to learn why James is actually glad to be back from Australia, the optimal approach for getting a kangaroo to tap out in BJJ, what's interesting about being a guy in your 30's without kids, why James doesn't want to invest his money into property and much more... Sponsors: Get over 37% discount on all products site-wide from MyProtein at http://bit.ly/modernwisdom (use code: MODERNWISDOM) Get 20% discount on Reebok’s entire range including the amazing Nano X1 at https://geni.us/modernwisdom (use code MW20) Extra Stuff: Order Not A Life Coach - https://amzn.to/30VkVdb Join James' Academy - https://www.jamessmithacademy.com/ Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom #dating #finances #fitness - 00:00 Intro 01:15 Humans Fighting Animals 07:42 James’ Thoughts on the Vaccine 22:22 Dating in Modern Society 41:49 Guys Over 30 Without Kids 58:52 Why James Loves Australia 1:03:50 Personal Finances & Property 1:17:29 International Fitness Summit 1:23:40 Where to Find James - Listen to all episodes online. Search "Modern Wisdom" on any Podcast App or click here: Apple Podcasts: https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/modern-wisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

James SmithguestChris Williamsonhost

Aug 22, 20211h 24mWatch on YouTube ↗

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Modern dating, pandemic angst, and purpose: money, love, and meaning

Chris Williamson and James Smith explore how the pandemic, social media, and changing gender roles are reshaping dating, relationships, and the desire for family. They dig into attachment theory, avoidant vs. anxious dynamics, and how career success can enable or excuse emotional avoidance. The conversation also covers COVID policy differences between the UK and Australia, vaccine fears and free-rider problems, and the psychological toll of lockdowns and quarantine. Finally, they debate renting vs. buying property, financial priorities, and how to balance work ambition with the deep pull toward fatherhood and legacy.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Understand your attachment style to avoid repeating toxic relationship patterns.

James’ realization that he’s avoidant, often pairing with anxious partners, helped him see why intense ‘fireworks’ relationships kept imploding; knowing whether you’re secure, anxious, or avoidant can guide you to healthier matches and better communication.

Don’t confuse early ‘spark’ with long-term compatibility.

They note that avoidant–anxious pairings often feel electric at the start but become chaotic, whereas healthy, secure relationships can begin quietly and only reveal their value months in.

High work success can enable emotional avoidance in relationships.

When work reliably provides validation and dopamine, it becomes easy to retreat into career whenever a relationship gets hard, justifying disengagement as ‘focusing on my future’ instead of doing the uncomfortable work of resolving conflict.

Taking the vaccine can be viewed as a courageous communal act, not just compliance.

They frame vaccination as accepting personal risk to help achieve herd immunity, reduce deaths, and protect those who can’t be vaccinated—challenging the narrative that refusal is the only ‘brave’ stance.

Lockdown and quarantine policies carry hidden psychological and relational costs.

Stories of strict Australian measures—military enforcement, hotel quarantine, missed goodbyes and funerals—highlight that isolation, loss of freedom, and delayed life milestones (like meeting partners) are real harms that must be weighed alongside viral risk.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

The onset of a relationship with someone who's amazing for you often feels quite dull.

— James Smith

You might fill your life with tremendous pleasure just to fulfill a speck of happiness.

— James Smith

Most people don’t have a business; they have a highly leveraged solo pursuit.

— Chris Williamson

If you're ready for the business, you launched too late.

— James Smith

Four billion years of unbroken survival and reproduction could end with me.

— James Smith

COVID, lockdown policies, and vaccine psychology in the UK vs. AustraliaAttachment styles (avoidant, anxious, secure) and modern dating dynamicsCareer success, emotional avoidance, and the ‘second relationship’ with workMale broodiness, fertility anxiety, and the desire for family and legacyOnline dating, incel grievances, and the limits of app-based mate selectionRenting vs. buying property, financial strategy, and lifestyle trade-offsEntrepreneurship, personal training business models, and work–life design

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