Modern WisdomFinding Your Why - Diren Kartal | Modern Wisdom Podcast 260
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 0:33
Travel as a moral responsibility: what can you teach your kids if you’ve seen nothing?
Diren argues that travel and exposure to different cultures are essential for understanding the world and becoming a better parent and citizen. He frames a British passport and mobility as a privilege many people would “kill for,” and says not using it shrinks your perspective.
- 0:33 – 2:11
Reconnecting in chaos: Dubai boat memories and setting up the motivation theme
Chris and Diren banter about their previous Dubai meetup and the “recipe for chaos” of their social circle. Chris then pivots the conversation toward motivation and how people can make meaningful change heading into a new year.
- 2:11 – 3:14
Motivation via enjoyment and simplification: making ‘big problems’ feel small
Diren explains that clients often come for fitness but end up improving broader life areas through better health habits. His core approach is to steer people toward activities they enjoy and to simplify challenges so motivation isn’t crushed by overwhelm.
- 3:14 – 9:15
Why you’re doing it: confidence, follow-through, and the ‘future you’ mindset
Chris and Diren explore how motivation collapses when people don’t trust themselves to follow through. Chris shares the idea of having faith in your future self, while Diren emphasizes risk-taking and creating situations where you must perform.
- 9:15 – 10:40
Environment is leverage: choose people who push you, not people who keep you safe
Diren argues that social circles can either expand your ambition or shrink it through “play it safe” advice. He advocates surrounding yourself with people who want you to win and who will give tough feedback that improves your output.
- 10:40 – 17:05
British insularity and the case for travel: breaking the ‘born, live, die here’ loop
Chris suggests UK geography and culture can produce an insulated worldview, reinforced by staying in the same town for life. Diren pushes further: travel isn’t only for entrepreneurs—families need it to raise globally literate kids and reduce prejudice.
- 17:05 – 22:43
Travel as ‘break point’: new environments reset your mind and upgrade your ambition
Chris describes the SAS concept of ‘break point’—a deliberate reset between high-intensity phases—and applies it to travel and mental clarity. Diren adds that airports and movement spark ideas, create opportunities, and accelerate personal development through discomfort.
- 22:43 – 27:49
Borrowed goals vs chosen goals: explore/exploit and ignoring what people think
They argue many people chase goals they’ve absorbed from culture rather than consciously chosen values. Chris outlines explore/exploit—try many things, then narrow—while Diren identifies fear of judgment as the primary blocker and explains how he stopped caring.
- 27:49 – 33:43
Being ‘selfish’ creates clarity: boundaries, values, and a stronger why
Diren reframes selfishness as healthy prioritization that makes relationships cleaner and more honest. Chris connects this to defining core values and having a strong ‘why’ that naturally filters distractions, obligations, and constant messaging.
- 33:43 – 39:48
Leadership ‘gravity’ and finding your why: why some people command the room
Chris tells a story about a dinner with Steven Bartlett where the entire table subtly oriented toward him, illustrating ‘social gravity.’ They discuss how mission, clarity, and values create natural leadership, and why it’s unrealistic to compare yourself to people who found their why early.
- 39:48 – 58:23
Calling off the engagement: pressure, freedom, and choosing a life that fits
Diren recounts ending an engagement and why it became a turning point for his identity and ambition. He describes the emotional difficulty, the isolation of being far from family, and the realization that marriage, mortgage, and timelines would trap him into a life he didn’t choose.
- 58:23 – 1:00:45
Modern relationships vs modern careers: self-sufficiency, safety, and the ‘you complete me’ trap
They zoom out to relationship dynamics: people choose partners who are ‘there’ and fear being alone, which fuels unhappy commitments and divorce. Diren critiques marriage as a “safety contract” that can reduce effort, and insists both partners should be independently fulfilled first.
- 1:00:45 – 1:06:05
Handling trolls, building Project X, and the realistic-fitness movement (wrap-up)
Diren shares a practical mindset shift: engaging trolls is usually wasted energy. He then outlines next-year goals—building an accountability platform and expanding his message—before Chris closes by praising the shift toward sustainable training and diet advice.
