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James Sexton, Matt McCusker & Rick Glassman - Mostly Wise #4

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Rick GlassmanguestMatt McCuskerguestChris Williamsonhost

Sep 28, 20263h 1mWatch on YouTube

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Partial transcript

150 min read · 30,000 words

0:00 – 7:54
The Problem With Blowjobs and Granola
1. SPSpeaker
  You're like a regular here now. Yeah, man. Congratulations on the gig, man. Thank you, bro. Appreciate it. Is he paying you? No. We figured it out though. Don't worry about it, man.
2. RGRick Glassman
  He only comes with counsel present.
3. SPSpeaker
  I'm a half owner of Neutonic now.
4. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah, that's it.
5. SPSpeaker
  Wow.
6. RGRick Glassman
  What's your problem with blowjobs and granola? I keep on hearing you-
7. SPSpeaker
  My problem with blowjobs?
8. RGRick Glassman
  ... with blowjobs and granola.
9. SPSpeaker
  It's no problem at all. No, it's bl- it's, it's, so blow- this is like, this story blew up. So I, I was representing a woman, and she... I'd been a lot of miles with her. It was an ugly divorce. She was like a successful, you know, finance person in New York City, very put together. Two kids. Husband who was in finance. Husband was kind of a train wreck. We didn't realize it. He was getting like a big bonus check every year, and he, unbeknownst to her, was just putting it in his secret bank account that she didn't know about, and then going to Vegas and just blowing it up, couple hundred thou- This guy, like I... If I could like go back in time, I would love to have seen this guy's nights out in Vegas. 'Cause when I finally got the receipts and stuff of it, he was blowing like a buck 50, 200,000 in one night at like Tao. Like just shirt off on the, you know, with bottles, like crazy. Mm. She had no idea. And, um, so ugly divorce, 'cause we had to prove wasteful dissipation of marital assets, try to get one half of that back.
10. RGRick Glassman
  Well, sorry, sl- wasteful?
11. SPSpeaker
  Wasteful dissipation- Unwasteful dissipation of marital assets ... of marital assets. Yeah. Balling out, basically. Yeah. Balling, balling without license. Yeah, it's burning, burning money that was supposed to be marital money- Money, yeah ... and you get it half back. [laughs] That's your understanding of it. Yeah. [laughs]
12. RGRick Glassman
  [laughs]
13. SPSpeaker
  Wait, when, when you mean, when, when you say marital money, what do you mean? Take it off. Uh- I didn't know you wore a, a vest. Yeah, a jock. So what you're s- so basically if, if like you're a team- Yeah ... and your partner is out there spending buck 50, 200K at Tao, just basically shirt off- Mm-hmm, yeah ... blowing all your watts. Not like double fisting dick or like that. Yeah. It's more like, you know- With drinks, bottles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that just felt... When you do it. What, what about, what about daily- Sorry. It's okay. Just daily- It just brought up something for me. I don't know. What about daily Amazon packages? Yeah, no, it's not that. What about daily Amazon packages?
14. RGRick Glassman
  It's called DAP, and it depends on if it's for the family or for yourself.
15. SPSpeaker
  It's called bay... No, we, we actually made- Mm. You gotta call- ... a successful argument that like someone buying a lot of Birkin bags and shoes was wasteful dissipation of marital assets. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so you flipped it on the babes. Yeah, we flipped it on her. Flipped it on the babes. Yeah. But anyway, I was representing this woman, and she basically was like, thing was falling apart. Did the divorce, custody case, kind of ugly. And we'd been a lot of miles together, and we were sitting on a lunch break and had gone to Starbucks, and we were waiting for testimony to start again. And I just was making small talk with her, and I said, "Oh, like was there a moment in your marriage where you knew it was over? Like where you just felt it was over?" And she said, "Yeah, my, my, I remember it." And I was like, "Oh, what? Like what was it?" And she said, "Oh, like, you know, there was this granola that I used to put on my yogurt-" I heard this ... "every morning. And my husband, whenever like I was running out of it, he would buy it for me. And it would just, it wasn't something he'd like ask for, you know, good boy points on. Like it was just something he would do, and it made me feel very loved and seen. And then one day, like the granola ran out." She's like, "And I just was waiting for him to like refill it. Like I wanted to give him the chance to refill it, and he just didn't. And I made me realize like, oh shit, this thing's going down." Yes, Rick?
16. RGRick Glassman
  Question.
17. SPSpeaker
  You in back?
18. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah. [laughs]
19. SPSpeaker
  Um, tell me if, uh, who disagrees with this statement: It's wonderful that your partner recognizes the things that are important to you, but when you recognize that your partner doesn't notice it, instead of playing the game of will he discover, and instead you say, "Hey, I don't have any gr- uh, granola. Could we get granola?" And see how he responds to that- Yeah ... as opposed to playing a game. Well, to be fair, he didn't get the granola because he was probably getting a double blowjob in Las Vegas. Well, we know this now. No, I, I- [laughs] But this is when she realized it was over, before she knew that. You know what? I think it's the difference between like a woman saying to you, "Do you think I look pretty in this dress?" And her walking in and you going, "Wow, that dress." Mm-hmm. Like it's, it's the, if you had to solicit it- Mm ... there's this feeling that you n- you needed to do that, and now it lost something, right? Yeah, but, but there's nothing wrong with needing to do something. Totally. Totally. If, if I, if I want you to recognize I have granola, I would say, "Hey, listen, we're out of granola. I, I know you're busy. You're double fisting it at the-" Doing a good job. Yeah, sure. "... whatever you're doing. But like this is important to me. Next time, could you just take a look? And if, you know-" Yeah. I think that would be nice. Well, but you-
20. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah, I don't think it's-
21. SPSpeaker
  But also you're, what he's saying is there was a thoughtful, there's a thing where she was like, "He's thinking about me." Yeah, I think she felt because she never asked for it, and he did it, and he didn't even ask for like, like, "Hey, look what I did for you," it just ma- it's just a feeling. It made her feel seen and loved.
22. RGRick Glassman
  It was the granola and the coal mine.
23. SPSpeaker
  It was the granola and the coal mine. And I said to her- My wife sent me this thing, by the way. She sent me this granola ... 'cause we were having this chat, and I said to her, but, but the PS of it is actually good that your wife sent it to you, because I said to her like, "Oh, like, you know, is there anything like that that you did for him?"
24. RGRick Glassman
  Hmm.
25. SPSpeaker
  And she went, "Yeah, blowjobs." And I like spit my fucking coffee out, 'cause I was not expecting her to say that. And she was like, "Yeah, like when we were dating, like I-" You should have swallowed your coffee ... "I gave him a lot of blowjobs, you know?"
26. RGRick Glassman
  And he never asked. [laughs]
27. SPSpeaker
  She's like, "No, and he didn't have to ask." Like she said, "I used to, it's like-"
28. RGRick Glassman
  How did you know I wanted this?
29. SPSpeaker
  She's like, "I used to just blow him in the morning."
30. RGRick Glassman
  Not yet.
7:54 – 13:17
Why Being a Divorce Lawyer Is Surprisingly Sexy
1. MMMatt McCusker
  blew up. Now, what is the sexual tension like in these meetings when you're sitting with a woman who's probably scorned in some capacity-
2. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
3. MMMatt McCusker
  ... is thinking about, like, telling you all of her husband's weaknesses-
4. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
5. MMMatt McCusker
  ... and shortcomings.
6. SPSpeaker
  And you're like the knight in shining armor-
7. MMMatt McCusker
  Exactly
8. SPSpeaker
  ... who is gonna, like, save her from it
9. MMMatt McCusker
  ... yeah, you're, you're a lawyer standing in front of her being like-
10. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. Yeah
11. MMMatt McCusker
  ... "Yeah, what a fucking jerk."
12. SPSpeaker
  Um, they, they definitely get, like, a crush on you.
13. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm-hmm.
14. SPSpeaker
  But you would never find a woman attractive when you're her divorce lawyer, 'cause you just see the absolute worst parts of, like-
15. MMMatt McCusker
  Don't you wanna see that now? I would love if a first date was showing up-
16. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
17. MMMatt McCusker
  ... as like-
18. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
19. MMMatt McCusker
  ... "Hey, this is what, this is what it's like when it's bad."
20. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
21. MMMatt McCusker
  And like, "Oh, I could handle that."
22. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. Yeah, it'd be gr- I mean, it would probably be really healthy to see upfront like, "Okay, what's this gonna look like on the really, like-"
23. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah, when we get divorced. [laughs]
24. SPSpeaker
  That's why I'm really rude on first dates.
25. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah. No, there is some-
26. CWChris Williamson
  Well, they say start as you... start at the end and work backward from there.
27. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
28. CWChris Williamson
  So begin with divorce level-
29. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. I think when you first-
30. MMMatt McCusker
  That's why I'm really rude on first dates.
13:17 – 16:46
Who is Fred Rogers?
1. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. Yeah. I watched the, the, the ... Somebody put up on, like, a clip of, like, Mr. Rogers at the, like, the Emmys.
2. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah, that's been going around.
3. SPSpeaker
  It's been going around.
4. RGRick Glassman
  Oh, I saw the one at, in the court.
5. SPSpeaker
  Oh, okay. No, this was, like, him, like, like, giving an acceptance speech at the Emmys, and it was, like, this beautiful clip of him. Like, he just had this ability to say the simplest thing and make everyone in the room cry from how beautiful it was, 'cause it was just-
6. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah
7. SPSpeaker
  ... like, the most basic sentiment where he was like, "I, I just ... Everyone who's here, if you could just take a minute and think about a person who helped you get here today, how proud that person must be that you're thinking of them."
8. RGRick Glassman
  Mm.
9. SPSpeaker
  And you're listening to it, and you're like [gasps] , you know. But it, it ... I just, I, I don't know. Like, I don't think there could be another Fred Rogers. Like, he-
10. RGRick Glassman
  I don't know who Mr. Rogers is.
11. SPSpeaker
  Explains a lot about you. You don't know Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood?
12. RGRick Glassman
  I think that he's the most, like, British American person we know.
13. SPSpeaker
  Instead of shaming him, why don't you just tell him?
14. RGRick Glassman
  Mm.
15. SPSpeaker
  Then he does know.
16. RGRick Glassman
  How do you tell someone who Mr. Rogers is?
17. MMMatt McCusker
  For a long time, I thought Mr. Rogers was the guy that narrated his own painting tutorials.
18. SPSpeaker
  No.
19. RGRick Glassman
  Bob Ross.
20. MMMatt McCusker
  Bob Ross.
21. SPSpeaker
  Close.
22. RGRick Glassman
  Yes. That's Bob Ross.
23. SPSpeaker
  Mr. Rogers-
24. RGRick Glassman
  Similar energy, though
25. SPSpeaker
  ... similar, yeah, similar calm vibe.
26. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah.
27. SPSpeaker
  Okay.
28. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah. He's, like, the way I can describe him, he is, like, a very ... He's not a pedophile.
29. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah. That's always a great disclaimer up front.
30. MMMatt McCusker
  He's not, but he, like ... Some of it, it's weird. Like, he, like, comes in every day, takes-
16:46 – 20:07
Do People Hide Their Friendship With James?
1. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
2. RGRick Glassman
  I have a question. I have a question. So we went to dinner the other night, and I wonder whether people who are friends with you or become friends with you, whether they need to hide their friendship from, from being friends with you.
3. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
4. RGRick Glassman
  Because I went for dinner with Luke the other night, and he wasn't sure whether or not he should tell his wife.
5. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
6. RGRick Glassman
  Because you're away for a couple of days in New York on a business trip, and when she says, "Oh, did you, where'd you go for dinner? Who'd you go out with?" And you say, "I went out with one of the biggest divorce attorneys in New York City," the optics-
7. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
8. RGRick Glassman
  ... about being your friend-
9. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
10. RGRick Glassman
  ... publicly when married-
11. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
12. RGRick Glassman
  ... I think has bad optics. Do you-
13. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
14. RGRick Glassman
  ... is this something that you have to navigate?
15. SPSpeaker
  You know, I don't have a lot of friendships, so that's, like, I, that's makes it easy.
16. MMMatt McCusker
  Cool.
17. SPSpeaker
  Like, it kinda makes it easy. No, I don't, I don't really have a lot of-
18. RGRick Glassman
  That's why you're on that side of the table
19. SPSpeaker
  ... yeah, I don't have, like, a lot of, um-
20. RGRick Glassman
  [laughs]
21. MMMatt McCusker
  To sit there
22. SPSpeaker
  ... I don't have a lot of room for, for, for, like, socializing. I think that was, like, the first time I've gone out to dinner with someone in, in a while.
23. RGRick Glassman
  Mm-hmm.
24. SPSpeaker
  Um, but I think the one-
25. MMMatt McCusker
  Who paid?
26. SPSpeaker
  What's that?
27. MMMatt McCusker
  Who paid the bill?
28. SPSpeaker
  I think you did. Yeah.
29. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
30. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, you did, but it was one of those things-
20:07 – 26:06
Why James Tailors Every Case to the Judge
1. CWChris Williamson
  help it.
2. SPSpeaker
  No, no.
3. RGRick Glassman
  Do you, do you, do you face, like, the, the divorces, this might be a dumb question-
4. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
5. RGRick Glassman
  ... but do they ever go to jury? A divorce?
6. SPSpeaker
  There's no such thing as jury work. It's all bench trials.
7. RGRick Glassman
  What's that?
8. SPSpeaker
  So you don't-
9. RGRick Glassman
  What is that?
10. SPSpeaker
  It's just the judge decides.
11. RGRick Glassman
  You and the judge.
12. SPSpeaker
  You're persuading the judge, yeah.
13. RGRick Glassman
  Mm.
14. SPSpeaker
  There's one member of the audience, and they're wearing a black robe, and that's it. And it's, that's the only person you're going for.
15. RGRick Glassman
  Gotcha.
16. SPSpeaker
  I mean, theoretically, like, I feel like I'm trying to manipulate everybody in the room-
17. RGRick Glassman
  For sure
18. SPSpeaker
  ... because I feel like the court reporter, the court officer, like, each of those people, they're gonna, when we leave the courtroom, they're gonna go with the judge.
19. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah.
20. SPSpeaker
  And I feel like they're gonna say, like, "Yeah, Sexton was, like, kind of a dick," or-
21. RGRick Glassman
  Do you, do you have a-
22. SPSpeaker
  You know? So I want them to, to f- all feel good about me.
23. RGRick Glassman
  Do you have, like, an alternate playbook for, like, you know, if you have, like, a lady judge or just, like, a normal judge?
24. SPSpeaker
  Totally. Totally. And, and, like, there's an old joke-
25. RGRick Glassman
  Little stubble for a lady judge
26. SPSpeaker
  ... that a good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.
27. RGRick Glassman
  [laughs]
28. SPSpeaker
  But what I think they really mean by that is, like, you know, like, there's some judges that, like, I know they're really into sports.
29. RGRick Glassman
  Mm-hmm.
30. SPSpeaker
  So I'll infuse my arguments with like, "Yeah, the, your, uh, counsel's throwing a Hail Mary pass on that one," or, "Your Honor, he's trying to do an end run around the rules of evidence." Like, and you try to, like, play with... Some judges, like, you know, okay, they like the show.
26:06 – 29:44
Does James Ever Feel Guilty About Winning?
1. SPSpeaker
  ... the sound.
2. RGRick Glassman
  Do you ever feel guilty? Like if you've absolutely torn someone a new one, like just totally des-
3. SPSpeaker
  No. No
4. RGRick Glassman
  No guilt
5. SPSpeaker
  Never
6. RGRick Glassman
  No emotion
7. SPSpeaker
  No. No, it's, I mean, I don't always believe in the client. Like, I represent the client and I represent the system. I don't always believe in the client, but I believe in the system. Like, I believe in the idea of-
8. RGRick Glassman
  I don't know what that means, but it seems like it gets you off the hook
9. SPSpeaker
  No, I think that, I think that we, our system is designed, our legal system is designed with the presumption of innocence, and it's the burden of proof, the concept of the burden of proof, and the right to zealous advocacy within the bounds of the law. So like there's a rule set. There's a rules of how evidence gets brought in. You can't go into court and say, "I talked to someone who mentioned to me that he saw this guy do this thing"
10. RGRick Glassman
  Mm
11. SPSpeaker
  Like there, there's, you have to be able to confront your accuser on cross-examination. You get to like, only certain types of evidence are competent, credible evidence. So we have rules, and I, I like those rules. The truth has a way of coming out, sometimes despite my best efforts. Like, people pay me a lot of money to go in sometimes and just throw up smoke and mirrors and red herrings, and there's only so much I can do, 'cause the facts have a way of coming out. Like a mediocre at best lawyer armed with real facts is gonna kick my ass, because the facts just have a way of coming out sometimes. There's not mu- you can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig
12. RGRick Glassman
  Playing on the margins of-
13. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. So
14. RGRick Glassman
  ... not true
15. SPSpeaker
  But, but to do a, like a very so- like all that facts are in a trial is, is like ingredients. And a good chef can take, you know, great ingredients and make something incredible out of it, but you can't like make something amazing out of garbage ingredients. So I don't feel guilty about it 'cause I, I think that I believe in the way we do it. I think we have... You know, it's like our, our legal system's like our democracy. It's the worst one except for all the other ones. Like, I think it's... We, we have a good model and it works Mm
16. RGRick Glassman
  You put lipstick on a pig, it's a lady.
17. SPSpeaker
  It's a lady judge maybe. [laughs] Oh
18. RGRick Glassman
  I don't, I don't condone that
19. SPSpeaker
  That's gonna cost him a trial Ooh [laughs]
20. RGRick Glassman
  I don't condone that. So you said y- you're playing the game and, you know, you're not, you don't feel guilty because these are the rules that we all have to abide by. Do you think there's any tr- any significance in the analogy of like some games, like a sport, some people come in with a, a stronger advantage than another?
21. SPSpeaker
  Sure
22. RGRick Glassman
  And like when you're playing a game of basketball and you're up 25 points with one minute left, you don't go and just keep scoring. You kinda hold the ball out of respect.
23. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
24. RGRick Glassman
  Is there anything for that?
25. SPSpeaker
  I try to be a respectful adversary. I mean, I, the, I've had times where I could humiliate opposing counsel and I choose not to 'cause I just-
26. RGRick Glassman
  Opposing counsel
27. SPSpeaker
  ... do as much as I need to do
28. RGRick Glassman
  Is, is counsel the other lawyer?
29. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, the other lawyer. Yeah, the other-
30. RGRick Glassman
  Oh, interesting. Right
29:44 – 41:52
Does Rick Need to Have More Casual Sex?
1. SPSpeaker
  you soft Really?
2. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah. You would shrink
3. SPSpeaker
  I've heard you say, I've heard you say that you can't be intimate unless you're in love with someone
4. RGRick Glassman
  Not true, but I have a different-
5. SPSpeaker
  Hang on. So did you not say that?
6. RGRick Glassman
  I never said that. I said I don't ha- I have to, I have to l- I have to like somebody. I don't have, I said I, I don't have to... So if I, I, I, I don't have sex with people that I sometimes would want to from a superficial s- place. Like oh, we're, maybe we're making out and this person, I'm very attracted to them, but if I don't feel a connection with the person, I'm literally not able to maintain an erection
7. SPSpeaker
  Did your therapist or did they not suggest that you try and have more ... casual sex with people.
8. RGRick Glassman
  Yes.
9. SPSpeaker
  How is that working out?
10. RGRick Glassman
  This was like 10, tw- this was 2016. I tried it for a couple of years. Um-
11. MMMatt McCusker
  Why did they say that to you?
12. RGRick Glassman
  I mean, I could tell you the answer to this. It'll probably take a few minutes, so you guys could interrupt, or I could not say it.
13. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm.
14. RGRick Glassman
  But I, I, I mean, I feel like that's not what people tune in-
15. MMMatt McCusker
  Was it psy- was it like psychoanalysis or?
16. SPSpeaker
  I am. I, I actually find it very interesting.
17. RGRick Glassman
  Sure. So, so at the time I was, I was going through a breakup where the, m- my partner, my ex-partner had slept with a lot more people than me. I don't think the feeling was jealousy. I'm sure there was something there. I, I... Th- but it wasn't like, I didn't think anything was wrong. What I felt was, from a, like a, a kid-like feeling, I noticed that, like, I felt like, "Oh, she's cooler than me." I don't, logically, I don't think that's what makes somebody cool. But at that point in my life, I had not had casual sex, and my partner had. And I'm like, "Man, that's cool." And I had been in positions where I was too scared to sleep with somebody. Whether it's performance anxiety or I don't like this person, whatever it is, I wasn't in touch with at the time. So in therapy, we had this conversation of like, "Well, maybe if I slept with more people, I would think I was cooler, or I would notice that's not what makes somebody cooler." I had questions and I didn't have answers. "So why don't you try sleeping with people?" And it's like, I, I genuinely was, like, doing that for the data. Does that make sense? Like, I was like, "How will I feel after sleeping with somebody?" And what I... So then I went through a few years where I was, like, trying to do this, and I noticed sometimes I enjoyed it, and sometimes I felt like I had erectile dysfunction. And like, there's, and also, like, you're wearing condoms, and that's tougher in there, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then that kind of fed itself where I was kind of sc- I, I was starting to get performance anxiety. I never had that before.
18. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm-hmm.
19. RGRick Glassman
  And I was starting to get performance anxiety. And then I, I remember I, this is a longer story, but, like, somebody, like, convinced me to sleep with them. Like, I didn't want to. She was in the neighborhood. I'm like, "I don't, I don't think I can do this. Please let me just come..." It's like what you would fantasize about if you were, like, somebody else. Like, "Let me just come do this." And I'm like-
20. MMMatt McCusker
  She's like a strong negotiator.
21. RGRick Glassman
  Sh- yeah.
22. SPSpeaker
  [laughs]
23. MMMatt McCusker
  Amazing.
24. RGRick Glassman
  She was a strong negotiator.
25. MMMatt McCusker
  The Chris Voss of pussy.
26. SPSpeaker
  You should recruit her.
27. MMMatt McCusker
  You know what I mean?
28. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah.
29. MMMatt McCusker
  Like, that's amazing.
30. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. Yeah.
41:52 – 54:09
Why Funny and Attractive Is So Hard to Find
1. RGRick Glassman
  nice.
2. CWChris Williamson
  Uh, another thing that I've heard you say.
3. RGRick Glassman
  Rick.
4. CWChris Williamson
  Yes, Rick.
5. RGRick Glassman
  Yes.
6. CWChris Williamson
  Another thing that I've heard you say. Do you think it's weird, like, when you drop someone's name that you know during a conversation-
7. RGRick Glassman
  Yes
8. CWChris Williamson
  ... that you're in the middle of?
9. RGRick Glassman
  Feels strange.
10. CWChris Williamson
  You're like, "Rick, let me tell you something that I've noticed about you."
11. RGRick Glassman
  It feels like you're a salesman or a psychologist. True. Close friends would never do that.
12. CWChris Williamson
  You've read way too much, like-
13. RGRick Glassman
  It's funny that you said that, man
14. CWChris Williamson
  ... How to Win Friends and Influence People.
15. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah. I mean that. It feels like a sales technique. I like you.
16. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah. Uh, you've said it's hard, so you found it hard sometimes to find someone who is both funny and you're attracted to.
17. RGRick Glassman
  Yes.
18. CWChris Williamson
  Is, before you fucking accuse me of misquoting you, is that one correct?
19. RGRick Glassman
  Yes.
20. CWChris Williamson
  Why? What do you think? What do you think is happening there?
21. RGRick Glassman
  Uh, well, in a similar, in a similar thing to that you could afford to be stupider-
22. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm
23. RGRick Glassman
  The better l- This is a blanketed statement, but the better looking somebody is in their developmental years, the less need, not that it's impossible, but the less needed is for them to learn how to connect with people in a way where they offer value. So if you're beautiful, you offer value. If you're not, what's your value? Now, that's not necessarily the case, but like when you see a really, really funny, really, really good-looking guy, chances are he was fat when he was younger. Is that fair to say?
24. SPSpeaker
  Very fair.
25. RGRick Glassman
  Or was a magician.
26. SPSpeaker
  Unpopular.
27. RGRick Glassman
  Whatever it might be. I don't think you're funny. In fact, you couldn't even get me hard.
28. SPSpeaker
  Aw.
29. RGRick Glassman
  But what I will say is you're hilarious and I'm hard right now.
30. SPSpeaker
  Thanks.
54:09 – 58:28
Are Modern Dating Standards Getting Ridiculous?
1. CWChris Williamson
  Did you see that tech exec lady who shared her non-negotiable dating, uh, uh, req- requirements on Twitter? Did you see this? It trended like fuck the other day.
2. MMMatt McCusker
  Yes.
3. CWChris Williamson
  Okay. So this Brooke LeBlanc girl tweeted, "Who wants to co-found the rest of my life with me?" She wrote out a list of what she's looking for and then said, "X work your magic." Oh, here it is. Uh, "Non-negotiables: 35 to 42 years old, healthy masculine, smart, funny, light-hearted, provider/protector mentality, post-economic, brackets still hardworking."
4. MMMatt McCusker
  What the hell does that mean? That means you have enough money that you don't have to be working, but you're working.
5. SPSpeaker
  Oh, you can live off your... Yeah.
6. CWChris Williamson
  Uh, must be kind, generous, thoughtful. No kids yet. Decidedly wants kids. On the healing path. History of serious commitment. Ex-therapist, books, retreats. Can meet anywhere, but will not date unless live in the same city. Fit and sober because you care about your health. Strongly preferred, no previous marriages or engagements. Works in tech, brackets comfortable with risk and career is blended into personal life.
7. MMMatt McCusker
  Well, in five years I'll match all of those things, so.
8. CWChris Williamson
  Is she pretty and funny? Uh, she deleted a Twitter after the response this got.
9. SPSpeaker
  Really?
10. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah. I mean, this one.
11. SPSpeaker
  People, were people mad about it or were they like, "This is great"?
12. CWChris Williamson
  Mixed, mixed reviews. I do wanna try and work out how many men on the planet that is.
13. MMMatt McCusker
  It'd be an unbelievably small number.
14. CWChris Williamson
  How old is she?
15. MMMatt McCusker
  29.
16. SPSpeaker
  Just the post economic-
17. CWChris Williamson
  She's 29
18. SPSpeaker
  ... the post economic, still hardworking would be a... Right.
19. CWChris Williamson
  What makes post economic? How much money do I have to have? Because that's, that one, and depending on what city she lives in, and me only being 30.
20. MMMatt McCusker
  I think you get 50,000 per million dollars you have invested. Is that true?
21. SPSpeaker
  Well, if you were 35 to 42-
22. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm
23. SPSpeaker
  ... and you no longer had to work, then let's just-
24. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah, but it depends on your lifestyle. Like, I could do that now if I, you know, just flew economy plus.
25. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, but if you wanna marry, have children-
26. CWChris Williamson
  Which I never do
27. SPSpeaker
  ... all those things.
28. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah, dude.
29. SPSpeaker
  Like, you-
30. CWChris Williamson
  I invested really well when I was young.
58:28 – 1:04:09
The Craziest Prenup Clause James Has Ever Seen
1. SPSpeaker
  mantra, you know?
2. MMMatt McCusker
  What... This is a question I've had and I've never had it answered. In terms of like, so say you have like a, a, you know, super successful, super rich man.
3. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
4. MMMatt McCusker
  Like, it's easy to figure out what they see for themselves, how they would enjoy their money and wealth alone as a bachelor.
5. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
6. MMMatt McCusker
  How do you think a super successful rich woman on, say like 40s, 40, 50s side of life, how do they tend to, like, display and enjoy their wealth if they-
7. CWChris Williamson
  A Nancy Meyers kitchen.
8. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, yeah.
9. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
10. SPSpeaker
  Like a, like a Lacanche oven, or they travel, a lot of travel.
11. MMMatt McCusker
  Okay.
12. CWChris Williamson
  Beautiful home, big yard.
13. SPSpeaker
  A lot of luxury goods. W- women, women, um, success- Like when we do prenups for very successful wealthy women in New York, the amount of, like, luxury goods that they have is usually through the roof. Like Birkin bags, you know, things that are 20, $30,000 a pop.
14. CWChris Williamson
  Is it more watches, cars, houses maybe for the-
15. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. Yeah. Uh, women are not as into the watches. It's like we do, you know, we've had clients-
16. MMMatt McCusker
  Men also like collectibles
17. SPSpeaker
  ... million-dollar wine collections, million-dollar, couple million dollar watch collections.
18. CWChris Williamson
  Mm.
19. SPSpeaker
  Like men, men collect stuff like that. There's a, there's a th- this... I think that tweet is emblematic of a... There's, there's a lot of, like... The internet is spending a lot of time gassing women up about the like you're a queen, you're a boss, you're a boss babe. Like you deserve, like you deserve the best out there. You deserve... Whereas men are, I don't think as many men are being told like, "You deserve a queen." Like it's sort of a, you know, like just shut up, dude. You deserve, like have a woman. Like go have a woman.
20. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
21. SPSpeaker
  I think m- there's a lot... I, I see it in prenups. Like I'm doing, you know, a lot of prenups right now, and the list of like demands that women are coming in with of like oh, this is what... 'Cause women tend to, and this is fact, like women tend to marry even or up.
22. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm.
23. SPSpeaker
  Like economically. Men usually down. Like they don't... Men, like if you say to most men, "Tell me the three things you're looking for in a woman that you wanna be serious with," she's a good provider is never cracks even the top 10. Whereas-
24. CWChris Williamson
  Provider means economics, not family?
25. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. Provider meaning economically. Like, like I want a good earner. Like most-
26. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah
27. SPSpeaker
  ... most men would not say in the top five things. They'd say, "Oh, I want someone pretty. I want someone who's thoughtful. I want someone who'd be good with kids. I want someone who's gonna be supportive of me. You know, I want somebody who's good in bed."
28. CWChris Williamson
  My grandpa used to say, uh, he didn't give me advice on relationships ever. The only thing that came close is he used to say, "Marry someone wealthy." [laughs]
29. SPSpeaker
  I mean, listen, I think that, you know, that, that there's-
30. MMMatt McCusker
  My dad said, used to say that
1:04:09 – 1:13:20
What Are Women Demanding in Prenups?
1. CWChris Williamson
  Honor.
2. SPSpeaker
  I do apologize.
3. CWChris Williamson
  There's a, there's a guy who is being dragged online at the moment. His wife was carrying kids-
4. RGRick Glassman
  I saw that today
5. CWChris Williamson
  ... food, drink. We have to watch this. It's the funniest thing I've seen. So you're talking about, like, women, you deserve it all. Well, this is, in some ways, a woman who got it all, uh, but she's stuck in the stands at a sports game. Uh, here it is.
6. SPSpeaker
  I mean, she, oh, wow, okay. She got the diaper bag. She's got the kid.
7. SPSpeaker
  A true definition of a multitasking mother, that is the-
8. CWChris Williamson
  Oh, look. Yeah, his phone's plugged in
9. SPSpeaker
  ... that is the deal right there.
10. CWChris Williamson
  That makes a quite a big difference 'cause he's out of charge
11. SPSpeaker
  I think she's a, an Olympic champion. Did I just hear that guy say, "Did you forget something?"
12. SPSpeaker
  She's got three plates.
13. CWChris Williamson
  [laughs] "Did you forget something?"
14. SPSpeaker
  Bring the ketchup.
15. SPSpeaker
  God.
16. SPSpeaker
  You know those little packets-
17. SPSpeaker
  So he's getting, he's getting kinda-
18. SPSpeaker
  ... you can put in your pocket and shake
19. CWChris Williamson
  So he's like modern Kevin Federline.
20. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, well, like, I mean, look.
21. SPSpeaker
  Oh, they m- they went back to him? Oh.
22. RGRick Glassman
  [laughs] Went back to him, buddy.
23. SPSpeaker
  Oh.
24. SPSpeaker
  My goodness. Are you kidding me? Gamer babes. She'll be the last one to eat, too.
25. SPSpeaker
  Oh, he's complaining about his meal. [laughs]
26. CWChris Williamson
  Did you forget something?
27. SPSpeaker
  He's getting the king treatment. Oh, man.
28. SPSpeaker
  She says, "How long did it take you?"
29. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, that's, uh... I'll see that every now and again, though. When I fly, you'll see the women carrying all the gear sometimes.
30. RGRick Glassman
  I offer to, I offer to help. I'm, uh, often, almost every time.
1:13:20 – 1:16:44
Can You Tell Your Partner They’ve Gained Weight?
1. CWChris Williamson
  On the your partner gains 50 pounds thing, if your partner gains 50 pounds and you're no longer attracted to them, do you think that you're allowed to say it? Like, how do you broach that subject?
2. SPSpeaker
  I think you have an obligation to say it.
3. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
4. SPSpeaker
  I think you have an obligation to say it.
5. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah, I think you have an obligation to say... There's, there's tact, I agree.
6. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
7. RGRick Glassman
  And it's not, uh, just about the weight. I mean, that's a very-
8. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
9. RGRick Glassman
  ... pointed way of doing it. But, like, I would want a partner to keep me accountable with certain things. Not that that's their job, but that is a value add. I, and I've had that in, in, in relationships where it's like, "Do you really need to eat that?" I'm serious. Like, they're not saying don't eat that or can't, and there's no shame involved. It is looking out for my best interest.
10. SPSpeaker
  Mm.
11. RGRick Glassman
  And I think there's something very superficial about the looks department, but there's health involved to it and an attraction involved to it and, and, uh... Hey, you know, I, I, I, I'm, I'm noticing I'm not... Like, if a, if my partner said, I, I, I, "You're, I, you're very good-looking, I'm still attracted to you, I love you so much. I just, like, you haven't been taking care of yourself in a certain way and I just gotta be honest with you."
12. CWChris Williamson
  That's a lie, because y- they've gained 50 pounds. You're no longer attracted.
13. RGRick Glassman
  But before they gained 50 pounds, they gained one.
14. CWChris Williamson
  You gotta get in there early.
15. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
16. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
17. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, see, I think what people need to do in relationship, a- and the, the, the mistake that most of the people who end up sitting across from me, what they didn't do, is when things change, 'cause they will change-
18. MMMatt McCusker
  No big deal
19. SPSpeaker
  ... like, you, you have to say like, you know, "Hey, let's notice that this changed." Like, and just point it out. Like, I think it's the difference between a relationship that's designed and a relationship that's on default. Like, like, wh- okay, we're not having sex as much as we used to. Let's just point that out. Maybe it's that our sex drives have changed. Maybe we got kids now and it's like, you know, we're both a little all over the place, or maybe it's... What? Like, it could be any number of things. Maybe you're not feeling great about your body, I'm not feeling great about... Whatever it might be, but, like, let's just say it out loud. Because maybe we're both okay with it. Like, like, maybe you're putting on weight and you're like, "Yeah, I'm, I'm just, like, not stressed about exercise anymore and I just feel like I wanna take a break from that and I wanna just like, you know, put on some..." Okay. Like, maybe it's just something that we're just gonna both be cool with, and we'll talk about it that way.
20. CWChris Williamson
  We already have identified based on my example that you're not cool with it. Like, hey.
21. SPSpeaker
  Well, it, it... But I think before it's 50 pounds. I think it would be like-
22. CWChris Williamson
  You're never-
23. SPSpeaker
  ... hey, what's going on?
24. MMMatt McCusker
  Can-
25. SPSpeaker
  Like, things are changing, and I just wanna point out that they're changing and is there, is that something that's gonna have an impact on us long term?
26. MMMatt McCusker
  Can guys-
27. RGRick Glassman
  Also, is the change coming from a medical thing? Is it coming from-
28. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah
29. RGRick Glassman
  ... a lack of effort?
30. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, like, what's happening?
1:16:44 – 1:27:58
Are Personal Politics Ruining Relationships?
1. SPSpeaker
  feelings and relationship.
2. CWChris Williamson
  I won- I wonder how many, uh, how many marriages have dissolved due to a Love Island argument. 'Cause there was some marriages that didn't happen because of the Lindsey Clancy case.
3. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm.
4. CWChris Williamson
  There were some people that got divorced.
5. MMMatt McCusker
  Oh, yeah. That's a tough one.
6. CWChris Williamson
  And then there were some people that were like, "I thought that this was my person. We were about to go down the aisle, and we couldn't agree on the Lindsey Clancy thing," and that was, you know, that was a deal breaker.
7. SPSpeaker
  Dude, the Tr- the Trump thing, once, 2016.
8. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
9. SPSpeaker
  2016, like, we got a lot of people in, like, 2017, 2018 getting divorced, 'cause it was like somebody went very far right. And, like, the MAGA thing, and it was like the, the wife was very progressive liberal. A lot of women's spaces are very progressive liberal in their leanings, and the guys were feeling very seen and understood by, like, a right-wing movement, and it created this tremendous tension where it was like it couldn't just be we have different poli-... My dad was a Reagan conservative, Naval Academy graduate. My mom was, like, so far left she was, like, a Marxist practically. And they were married for, like, 50-plus years. And I had no choice but to see both sides of every argument and become a lawyer, I think. Because they were just... They didn't agree on any political issues, but they absolutely cared about each other, loved each other, were committed to having, like, the same f- concept of a family. Like, but I, I really think that, that we've now created this thing where it's not enough that I disagree with your politics. You're Hitler, you know? Or you're, like, the worst per-... And I just think that that's, that's very, very bad in a relationship.
10. CWChris Williamson
  What do you think about people that are making politics, like, a central reason to-
11. MMMatt McCusker
  It's so sad. I think it's, like, the saddest thing ever, when they're just like, like, you know, v- like the families that don't talk to each other now.
12. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
13. MMMatt McCusker
  It's, it's, it's terrible.
14. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. And-
15. MMMatt McCusker
  Also, I don't, even, I, I don't, I just ign- I've ignored it my whole life. Like, I don't... Politics, I don't really care at all.
16. SPSpeaker
  Mm.
17. MMMatt McCusker
  And it hasn't affected me. Like, there's, I can't think of a thing that I'd be like, "Oh, man, if I'd only voted." It's like, I-
18. SPSpeaker
  Whoa
19. MMMatt McCusker
  ... it doesn't affect me. And if it affects you, get involved. I don't care.
20. SPSpeaker
  I, I think being a-
21. MMMatt McCusker
  I never did. My dad never cared. He's always like, "Fuck that shit. Just go to work," and, and he's right. I think-
22. RGRick Glassman
  Put some, put some fucking dirt on it.
23. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah. He's like, "Just go to work."
24. CWChris Williamson
  A quick aside, you've probably heard me talk about LMNT before, and that's because I've started every single morning the same way for the last five years now, which is a cold glass of water with LMNT in it. LMNT is an electrolyte drink mixed with everything that you need and nothing that you don't. It's a science-backed electrolyte ratio of sodium, potassium, and magnesium. No sugar, no coloring, no artificial ingredients. It reduces muscle cramps and fatigue, supports brain function, and helps to regulate your appetite throughout the day. I genuinely notice the difference when I take it versus when I don't, which is why I don't shut up about it, and also why it's used by everyone from Dr. Andrew Huberman to Olympic athletes and FBI sniper teams. The, the good sniper teams, not the bad ones. Also They have a no questions asked refund policy. So if you don't like it for any reason, they'll just give you your money back. Plus, they offer free shipping in the US. Right now, you can get a free sample pack of LMNT's most popular flavors with your first purchase by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom. That's drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom.
25. SPSpeaker
  What are the divorce rates? Um, 'cause you know every statistic. Of, like, did that even happen? Was it, uh, powerful enough with, like, the, the gold blue dress or whatever thing? Do you think that affected people's relationships?
26. CWChris Williamson
  The gold and blue dress thing?
27. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
28. CWChris Williamson
  I have no idea. I mean, the law of large numbers means that if there's a big enough cohort of people that see anything, you get weird tail risk. Like, million-to-one odds happen eight times a day in New York City, right? 'Cause there's just so many people that random shit happens. So maybe someone did, but I, I mean, the Lindsey Clancy thing was publicized, that people fell out publicly.
29. SPSpeaker
  And they asked a sample of how many people-
30. CWChris Williamson
  Well, they put it-
1:27:58 – 1:31:53
Did Donald Trump Really Miss His Son’s Wedding?
1. SPSpeaker
  thing. Yeah.
2. CWChris Williamson
  Did you see Don Jr.'s wedding? You, the, 'cause this is maybe one of the most extravagant thi- I didn't even know that it had happened.
3. RGRick Glassman
  Mm-mm. No.
4. CWChris Williamson
  But it's been embroiled in a bunch of Russian billionaire people giving them money and stuff like that. So Russian oligarch with ties to Putin, Umar Kremlev, apparently covered hundreds of thousands of dollars of the expenses. Don Jr. and his wife said it was a gift from a friend and denied that it was a political move. The wedding cakes required five types of transport. Two cakes traveled by van, private plane, helicopter, golf cart, and boat. The three-day wedding and party were held across two private islands, costing over $100,000 per night to rent. The bride's reception outfit required 150 hours of embroidery. Donald Trump did not attend, saying, "This is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things on."
5. RGRick Glassman
  [laughs]
6. CWChris Williamson
  He actually spent the day spamming Truth Social with AI memes.
7. RGRick Glassman
  [laughs]
8. SPSpeaker
  Not, not very asset light.
9. CWChris Williamson
  Asset heavy.
10. SPSpeaker
  Mm-hmm.
11. CWChris Williamson
  Asset, big he- a- asset, big titty goth bitch.
12. SPSpeaker
  I feel like you just did the impossible for me, which is I actually feel bad for Don Jr. right now. Like, I feel bad that his dad didn't [laughs] fucking show up. Like, that's... I don't know. Doesn't that make you feel like, I, gosh. Like, you get married and you have, like, this ridiculous wedding and-
13. CWChris Williamson
  I have a feeling that-
14. SPSpeaker
  ... he doesn't show up
15. CWChris Williamson
  ... he's used to his dad not showing up for things.
16. SPSpeaker
  Sad, that's true. I know, but that's-
17. CWChris Williamson
  He's been conditioned from a-
18. SPSpeaker
  That's a sad-
19. CWChris Williamson
  That's what dads are to him
20. SPSpeaker
  ... ah, that's a sad image to me.
21. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah.
22. SPSpeaker
  You know? Like, it's like the kid waiting with the baseball glove. Like, it just feels like, dude, like-
23. CWChris Williamson
  Mm
24. SPSpeaker
  ... like, maybe if I bring, like, a billionaires and I make it so cool, like, Dad will show up.
25. CWChris Williamson
  If I put the cake on-
26. SPSpeaker
  And meanwhile, Dad's like, "Nah, I'm on Truth Social today." You know? Like-
27. CWChris Williamson
  If I put the cake on five types of transport, then maybe Dad will come. I don't get it. I'm stupid.
28. RGRick Glassman
  They had, they had, the cake was what? Like, spread across five different vans?
29. CWChris Williamson
  It was just so big, I think, that they needed-
30. SPSpeaker
  It was a massive-
1:31:53 – 1:41:47
Why Keeping Score Kills Relationships
1. SPSpeaker
  You didn't find your soulmate.
2. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
3. CWChris Williamson
  How do you think about navigating that in a marriage? 'Cause you are living with this person all the time. You know, you're gonna see them a lot of the time stressed.
4. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm.
5. CWChris Williamson
  Stuff's going wrong. Like, how do you not have those flare-ups sort of, I don't know, seep into resentment and bitterness and stuff like that?
6. MMMatt McCusker
  It's, dude, it's literally that. It's, like, the resentment's the biggest one. Like, when I would catch myself, it took me years to figure this out, but I would catch myself when I'm not around that, I'm not around my wife, being like, "Yeah, fucking she thinks..." And if I'm doing that cycle of like, "Yeah-
7. CWChris Williamson
  "She's about to..."
8. MMMatt McCusker
  "... oh yeah, I hope she, she fucking says..." And I'm like-
9. CWChris Williamson
  [laughs]
10. MMMatt McCusker
  ... "Stop. Whatever this is, just stop." And then I just like... 'Cause you can get really caught in this weird-
11. CWChris Williamson
  Story writing
12. MMMatt McCusker
  ... once you start keeping score of, like-
13. CWChris Williamson
  It's like a fantasy. It's a fantasist almost
14. MMMatt McCusker
  ... dude, and, and it makes you feel horrible and angry all the time, where you have to just be like, you start to kind of accept the person and be like, "That's just a thing they have." Like, it ta- like, I, I would get nagged all the time, and I would be like, "Stop fucking nagging." And it would make me mad, and then it was just like, wait. 'Cause we went to marriage counseling, and he was like, "Well, why, why do you get so mad about that?" And it was like-
15. CWChris Williamson
  Mm
16. MMMatt McCusker
  ... "'Cause if she points out I did something wrong, I feel fucking horrible." And then he's like, "Yeah, but like why do you feel that bad about it? Like, you don't care if the garage is up or down. Like, why if she says it do you all of a sudden care?" And I was like, "Damn, good call." So, like, now I c- I can, like, finally-
17. CWChris Williamson
  Great call
18. MMMatt McCusker
  ... it's great, yeah, it was a great move. I can finally field a criticism and just if I, if I don't care about it, I'm like, "Okay."
19. CWChris Williamson
  It's hard to not take-
20. MMMatt McCusker
  Cool
21. CWChris Williamson
  ... stuff like that personally, I guess.
22. MMMatt McCusker
  Dude, it, but the thing is, it would floor me. If it'd be like, "Did you open the mail?" I d- I did, I'd be, "Why the fuck do you care if I opened the mail?"
23. CWChris Williamson
  As opposed to just saying yes and letting it be.
24. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah, and being like, "Yeah, I opened, I actually did open the mail. I don't care."
25. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, but see, I think underneath that is something I think is incredibly romantic, and that is that you're like, you're... See, like, for, for me-
26. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah
27. SPSpeaker
  ... as a man, most of the time when I'm angry, it's that I'm really sad.
28. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
29. SPSpeaker
  But anger feels more active, so I feel like I have control still.
30. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm.
1:41:47 – 1:46:14
Do Women Hold the Power in Sex?
1. SPSpeaker
  all, really all it is. [laughs]
2. CWChris Williamson
  Have you ever seen that Futurama-
3. MMMatt McCusker
  It's true
4. CWChris Williamson
  ... episode where, uh, sex robots are invented, and all of society just grinds to a halt?
5. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
6. CWChris Williamson
  And they're like, "Oh, it, it does turn out that everything that guys were doing was-
7. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
8. CWChris Williamson
  ... just to get laid."
9. SPSpeaker
  Sure, yeah, actually.
10. CWChris Williamson
  And now they can get laid on demand.
11. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
12. CWChris Williamson
  Like, everything's just stopped.
13. SPSpeaker
  It's over, yeah.
14. CWChris Williamson
  It's game over.
15. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
16. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah. There's no five, there's no women gatekeeping.
17. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, and women, women have always been the gatekeepers of sex, like 100% of the time. And the example I've always given to this is that, like, like, women don't like shaving their legs. If all the women tomorrow said, "We're not shaving our legs anymore," are you telling me guys would be like, "Well, then we're not having sex with you"?
18. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah, definitely.
19. SPSpeaker
  Like, fuck that.
20. MMMatt McCusker
  Oh, can you-
21. SPSpeaker
  But there'd just be that one bitch. There'd just be that one who was like, "Wait, none of them are shaving their le- Yeah, I'd shave my, I just like it. I do it for me. It's not even, I don't fuck."
22. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
23. SPSpeaker
  And then, and then all of a sudden they're hyper-competitive.
24. CWChris Williamson
  This is the same problem with UBI. It's the same problem.
25. SPSpeaker
  Yeah.
26. CWChris Williamson
  If everybody gets the same income, immediately-
27. SPSpeaker
  Right
28. CWChris Williamson
  ... you want to separate yourself out from the thing that everybody's got.
29. SPSpeaker
  Right.
30. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm-hmm.
1:46:14 – 1:50:33
Does Rick Always Call Out Unspoken Subtext?
1. SPSpeaker
  that place.
2. CWChris Williamson
  I have, I have, I have a question. Rick, you seem to be the sort of person who in social situations sort of calls out the subtext, like the under- un- unspoken thing that's kind of in the air. How do you feel if you're at dinner with a couple and there's obviously an, an awful lot of tension between the two of them? Is that the sort of thing that's palpable to you? Does that make you uncomfortable? I say, what makes me-
3. SPSpeaker
  Are you talking to me?
4. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah. W- when I said your name at the very start, unless you've changed your name.
5. SPSpeaker
  Oh, I was just being playful. I'm sorry for whatever I triggered, and I'm curious what it was.
6. CWChris Williamson
  Here we go.
7. SPSpeaker
  Wow.
8. CWChris Williamson
  The... See, that's the fourth wall breaking thing-
9. SPSpeaker
  Yeah
10. CWChris Williamson
  ... that I'm talking about. This is the skill set that's precisely why you need to be a mediator for marriages.
11. SPSpeaker
  Do you want to do a two-man act? Uh, mediation, there's no money in mediation.
12. MMMatt McCusker
  Oh, sorry, I forgot there's a difference.
13. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, litigation.
14. MMMatt McCusker
  You do it for money.
15. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, litigation. Yeah.
16. MMMatt McCusker
  I do it-
17. SPSpeaker
  Why, why do you do your job?
18. MMMatt McCusker
  I do it, that's an act of service.
19. SPSpeaker
  Do you?
20. MMMatt McCusker
  Just like my buddy.
21. SPSpeaker
  Just like him.
22. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah, I do it for the justice.
23. MMMatt McCusker
  Would you, would you point out when the people are fighting?
24. SPSpeaker
  Uh, I think that if it were to the point where I felt that I wanted to acknow- like, if I don't want to... Like, if they're doing their thing and I just have to be there and like they need to do their thing, I'm no part of this, then I wouldn't acknowledge it. If like we're here for something and/or I felt the projected want to service the other people who I'm assuming are having the same discomfort that I'm having, I might s- I, I would probably say something, and it depends on my relationship. If you guys were fighting and you guys are buddies, I would like, I would be like, "Hey, you know, sometime, you know." Maybe be a little bit lighter. "Just let's, let's-
25. MMMatt McCusker
  Mm.
26. SPSpeaker
  "It's fine. Let's not do this now." But if like, if this was something about something that has val- like importance to it, like you, uh, you, not only did you take too long to pick up your son, but also it was way too long and in a dangerous part of town and I believed that point of view, I would instead, I wouldn't say, "Break it up." I would be like, "I think you're missing what he's trying to say."
27. CWChris Williamson
  So you'd take sides.
28. SPSpeaker
  Oh, yeah.
29. CWChris Williamson
  Or translate.
30. SPSpeaker
  That's what-
1:50:33 – 1:55:12
Why Being Funny on Set Is Harder Than It Looks
1. RGRick Glassman
  are so numb.
2. CWChris Williamson
  But you, you guys have done, like, TV comedy stuff. When you're doing the improv thing, ad hocking, surely, yes, hooray, we couldn't have even written this, it only was able to happen in the moment, but then you have the difficulty of everyone on set trying to keep a straight face to something they weren't expecting. Like-
3. RGRick Glassman
  You just do a pickup.
4. CWChris Williamson
  Oh, right, okay. So we've come up with it. All right, now that everyone's dissipating the-
5. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah, you try it again and/or you keep-
6. CWChris Williamson
  ... the originality
7. RGRick Glassman
  ... you keep the delivery but you cut to a different reaction shot. E- especially if you're television, it's, it's, it's all in the edit, baby.
8. CWChris Williamson
  It's hard in the edit.
9. RGRick Glassman
  If you, if you get to the edit.
10. CWChris Williamson
  We'll fix it in post.
11. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah.
12. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah. It, it's like, I, I think what you're saying, like, it's, it's so funny people are laughing, but there's also the flip side where you're trying to, like-
13. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm
14. MMMatt McCusker
  ... ad lib and the, everyone's just staring at you like, "Why are you wasting our time?" And you're like, "Fuck."
15. CWChris Williamson
  Shit, this... So you bombed on set.
16. MMMatt McCusker
  You can, yeah.
17. CWChris Williamson
  Oh, that's gotta hurt.
18. MMMatt McCusker
  If you go off script and it doesn't kill, you're kinda like, "God, I'm the biggest loser in the world."
19. CWChris Williamson
  You literally gave me a gimme straight down the middle of the plate-
20. MMMatt McCusker
  [laughs]
21. CWChris Williamson
  ... and I decided to try and do something sexy.
22. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
23. RGRick Glassman
  Um-
24. MMMatt McCusker
  It's a bad feeling
25. RGRick Glassman
  ... I'm filming a, a, a show at the moment. It's a single-camera show, 'cause this is different m- specifically for multi-camera. And for people at home that don't know, multi-camera is like a play. There's one of the walls is cameras and you're, you're performing to a live audience and gauging their reaction. And he was talking to me about the, uh, about... which is a great observation that I don't think I, I, I ever articulated myself, but, like, joking a joke oftentimes by default isn't great. Do, do you know that term, joking? Uh, like, here's a joke and now you make another joke. Is this joke a tag that adds to this, or does it cannibalize this because it, you lose the reality of what this might be, or now we didn't have time to process whatever it is? But in multi-cams you go out and you do, let's say, three takes, and you go out there and you do the way it's scripted and it's funny and it gets a laugh. The second take you do it again, it doesn't get as big of a laugh because they heard it already. So then you, like, you try and perform as if the home audience, the people watching the show, heard all three versions, but they don't. So now when you heighten option three, it's really funny to the people there and you feel it because we were all part of something that isn't gonna translate. So there's kinda like this, if you follow the laughs, just keep in mind what they're laughing at. And I think this is true outside of even performance. But, like, sometimes we do something 'cause of our past experiences led us to believe that it would be funny to be- say something shocking about somebody's sexuality because, of course, I have no hate for this, but they don't know that yet. And, like, judging by people's reactions, uh, could be very dangerous, and I thought that was an interesting way of saying it. Like, if you've heard it once, now you think the next thing's funnier than that only because it's different.
26. CWChris Williamson
  Well, also, if you've been friends with someone for ages and you know that they're very nice, that they've got gay friends, that they don't have any hate in their heart, and then you're on a podcast or maybe you're with a new group of friends or whatever that don't have that same level of context, you make the joke, one or a few people get it, and everyone else is like, "Fucking whoa."
27. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah, that's the danger, though, of the-
28. CWChris Williamson
  Hey
29. MMMatt McCusker
  ... that's the danger of the internet because, like, it, you, you do... You either have to be very careful in your curation of the things you say and how they can be so easily taken out of context, or you just have to, like, just assume everybody knows where your heart is at.
30. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah, you can have massive context. That's one solution. But basically everyone is seeing you for the first time. I think assuming that everyone is seeing you for the first time is probably, like, the safer way to go about it, but it makes everything really bland.
1:55:12 – 1:59:54
What Happened to Multi-Cam Sitcoms?
1. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah.
2. CWChris Williamson
  What happened to that style of, like, production? 'Cause that seemed to be a lot of the sitcom.
3. RGRick Glassman
  People started... Sitcoms are, by design, joke machines. Not for better or worse. Um, people in a, kind of like what you're saying, want more real. I think that's very true with, with the arts as well. And if you didn't grow up watching that kind of stuff and that's not part of what your palate is, you, you don't belie- 'Cause it's not. A lot of people look at that as, "That's not how people really talk." Of course not. This is a silly play. It's a comic book strip. And I think people either don't appreciate that or just don't want that. Um, otherwise they would be doing them more. It's the cheapest kind of show to make. It's the easiest kind of show to make.
4. CWChris Williamson
  It's just one set largely.
5. RGRick Glassman
  Sometimes you make swing sets.
6. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
7. RGRick Glassman
  But yeah, not only that, but w- with scheduling it's all... Not only is it all indoors, so you don't have to worry about lighting, it's all at the same place and everybody shows up there, and then you kinda get it the, uh... So my first job was a multi-cam, and you read the script, and then the next three, four days is literally, it's all about camera blocking and just how you deliver the joke. The, the most work is which way are we facing for this? That's a science that isn't specific to one show, so people already have it down. So it's t- it's hard for the writers 'cause it's joke, joke, joke, joke, joke.
8. CWChris Williamson
  Mm-hmm.
9. RGRick Glassman
  But, like, there are shows when they have it in, they're in season three, season four, where they do four-day weeks. They rehearse for three days. They film the show on a half day, and then that's it. People say it's like the cushiest gig you could get as a director is, like, you wanna get into multi-cam. And there's only, like, I'm making this number up, so I won't, a few amount of multi-cam directors that they know how to do it, they know how to pace it, they know how to talk to actors, they know how to turn a joke. And that's like the gig.
10. CWChris Williamson
  It's super, super efficient to make.
11. RGRick Glassman
  Yeah, you could, you could work 25 hours a week instead of 70.
12. CWChris Williamson
  I think it's also about developing a palette. I think like a... You develop, like, a almost a comedic palette. Like, I think that-
13. RGRick Glassman
  I need to move you that way.
14. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
15. RGRick Glassman
  You are-
16. CWChris Williamson
  Sorry. I need-
17. RGRick Glassman
  ... gravitating to w-
18. CWChris Williamson
  I know
19. RGRick Glassman
  ... understandably, frankly.
20. CWChris Williamson
  [laughs]
21. SPSpeaker
  Yeah. Yeah.
22. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
23. SPSpeaker
  Yeah, he's got that aura.
24. CWChris Williamson
  Yeah.
25. SPSpeaker
  Totally.
26. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah, I feel crazy when I watch sitcoms now. If I try to watch, like, Big Bang Theory, I'm like, "This is-"
27. RGRick Glassman
  What about the ones you grew up with?
28. MMMatt McCusker
  I haven't seen them in a while. I used to love them. Like, I loved-
29. CWChris Williamson
  But see, the w- when that was what was on the menu-
30. MMMatt McCusker
  Yeah