Why Violence & Revenge Fantasies Feel Good - James Kimmel Jr.

James Kimmel Jr. is a professor at Yale, a psychiatrist, and an author. Why are we drawn to revenge? From playground grudges to epic betrayals, the urge to strike back is universal. But is it a survival mechanism, or an ancient drive that no longer fits the modern age? Expect to learn why the feeling of revenge exists and how it is adaptive, what the biggest triggers of the desire for revenge is, why revenge and revenge fantasies make us feel good, the difference between revenge seeking and self defence or boundary setting, if some people happen to be more vengeful than others, if you should be lauding to forgive rathe than seek revenge, the steps to move through forgiveness, and much more… - 0:00 Choosing to Not Choose Revenge 7:57 Why Do We Feel Desire for Revenge? 11:39 What are the Biggest Drivers of Revenge? 15:06 How Do We Recover from Revenge Seeking? 21:40 Is There a Connection Between Addictive Behaviour and Revenge? 24:47 The Difference Between Revenge-Seeking and Self-Defence 33:17 The Muddling of Justice and Revenge 43:46 Revenge Isn’t Evil, It’s Retribution 50:35 What Outcomes Drive Revenge? 56:48 The Legal System is a Professional Revenge Business 58:36 The Cycle of Revenge on Social Media 01:06:50 What is Social Justice? 01:09:10 Are Certain Groups More Susceptible to Revenge? 01:14:55 Warning Signs for Revenge Desire 01:19:12 Strategies to Stop Revenge Desire 01:21:13 What Does Modern Revenge and Forgiveness Culture Look Like? 01:34:43 Find Out More About James - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

Chris WilliamsonhostJames Kimmel Jr.guest

Sep 4, 20251h 35mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: September 4, 2025
Duration: 1h 35m
Channel: Modern Wisdom
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

James Kimmel Jr. is a professor at Yale, a psychiatrist, and an author. Why are we drawn to revenge? From playground grudges to epic betrayals, the urge to strike back is universal. But is it a survival mechanism, or an ancient drive that no longer fits the modern age? Expect to learn why the feeling of revenge exists and how it is adaptive, what the biggest triggers of the desire for revenge is, why revenge and revenge fantasies make us feel good, the difference between revenge seeking and self defence or boundary setting, if some people happen to be more vengeful than others, if you should be lauding to forgive rathe than seek revenge, the steps to move through forgiveness, and much more… - 0:00 Choosing to Not Choose Revenge 7:57 Why Do We Feel Desire for Revenge? 11:39 What are the Biggest Drivers of Revenge? 15:06 How Do We Recover from Revenge Seeking? 21:40 Is There a Connection Between Addictive Behaviour and Revenge? 24:47 The Difference Between Revenge-Seeking and Self-Defence 33:17 The Muddling of Justice and Revenge 43:46 Revenge Isn’t Evil, It’s Retribution 50:35 What Outcomes Drive Revenge? 56:48 The Legal System is a Professional Revenge Business 58:36 The Cycle of Revenge on Social Media 01:06:50 What is Social Justice? 01:09:10 Are Certain Groups More Susceptible to Revenge? 01:14:55 Warning Signs for Revenge Desire 01:19:12 Strategies to Stop Revenge Desire 01:21:13 What Does Modern Revenge and Forgiveness Culture Look Like? 01:34:43 Find Out More About James - Get access to every episode 10 hours before YouTube by subscribing for free on Spotify - https://spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - https://apple.co/2MNqIgw Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - https://chriswillx.com/books/ Try my productivity energy drink Neutonic here - https://neutonic.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch in the comments below or head to... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/

SPEAKERS

Chris Williamson
host
James Kimmel Jr.
guest

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Modern Wisdom, featuring Chris Williamson and James Kimmel Jr., Why Violence & Revenge Fantasies Feel Good - James Kimmel Jr. explores why Revenge Feels Addictive And How Forgiveness Breaks The Cycle James Kimmel Jr. explains how personal experiences of severe bullying and near-lethal rage led him to study revenge instead of enacting it. He outlines the evolutionary roots of revenge, its modern malfunction in response to psychological rather than survival threats, and the neuroscience showing revenge operates via the same reward circuits as addictions. Kimmel argues that most violence—from domestic abuse to terrorism—is driven by perceived victimization and revenge, not inherent evil, and that forgiveness is a neurologically powerful antidote. He proposes treating revenge as a public health and addiction issue, using education, therapeutic tools like his “Miracle Court” app, and a cultural shift away from glorifying retribution toward normalizing forgiveness and accountability without punishment.

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