Don’t Spend Your Life on Work That Won’t Matter in the End | John McCalla-Leacy

1. 0:00 – 0:44

   A quote that reframes wealth: “Some people are so poor, all they have is money”

   1. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:00

      I heard this quote, and I relayed it before on the podcast, so I'm sorry if anyone's listened to this before.

   2. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:05

      Yeah.

   3. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:05

      But some people are so poor, all they have is money.

   4. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:09

      [laughing]

   5. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:10

      And it makes me think, and I'm not linking this to your story, but I remember or I'm reminded of the year of two thousand and sixteen-

   6. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:21

      Yeah

   7. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:21

      ... which seems to be a very transformative-

   8. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:23

      Yeah

   9. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:23

      ... year for you-

   10. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:24

       Yeah

   11. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:25

       ... um, personally, where you were-- You, you received a piece of news-

   12. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:30

       Yeah

   13. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:30

       ... two or three in the morning.

   14. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:32

       Yeah.

   15. DJDavid McIntosh Jr0:32

       You were working your laptop on a due diligence bid or project, and it seems like that event was something that was a pivot or sliding door moment in your own career.

2. 0:44 – 1:45

   The 2–3 a.m. call: losing his brother while working late

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy0:44

      Mm. Well, let me... I-if I connect a couple of dots on this. So, um, the, the, um... So in, in the run-up to twenty sixteen, uh, um, the, the... Yeah, the-- My phone rang. I, I don't know. It's, it was, um, two, three o'clock in the morning. I, I, I don't get calls at two, three o'clock in the morning. And when, uh, when your phone rings, then you know something's not quite right. And I looked at it for a couple of rings, and then I picked it up, and it was, uh, one of my brothers, my older brothers. And he just said, uh, uh-- Roger, who's a, a brother. He just said, uh, "Roger's dead." That was, that was the call. And, and there was a pause, and I was like, "I, I, I, I don't understand, Roger." And he said, "I don't know what to tell you. He's dead." I was like, "What?" "But I just spoke to him a couple of, you know, it was a few days ago," and he said, "We found him and he's dead. I, and that's it." I said, "Okay. Thank you." And then I put the phone down. And then almost, you

3. 1:45 – 2:15

   Out-of-body clarity: realizing the work in front of him didn’t matter

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy1:45

      know, you have this out-of-body experience so that you, you sort of step out and you can see yourself or you look at yourself. And I'm looking at myself, and I'm on the floor cross-legged. I've got my laptop. I was working on a due diligence report that needed to be in and, and, uh, the next, uh, morning. And I thought, "What, what am I doing?" You know, this report was just not important at all, and my head just started spinning and, and, and that was a key moment. And so that was my brother. So that was in the run-up.

4. 2:15 – 2:46

   Returning from Hong Kong and confronting health realities

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy2:15

      That was prior to twenty sixteen. Uh, twen- I, I talked about living in Hong Kong, uh, uh, and, uh, I got back from Hong Kong at the end of twenty fifteen. Um, you know, I, I, I have a, um, an illness, a, a genetic, uh, illness called sickle cell. It's causing me a few problems and, and, uh, one of my sisters was not very well also and sort of came back home at the end of twenty fifteen. And, um, uh, uh, towards the end of twenty fifteen, we, I was away with my family and,

5. 2:46 – 3:16

   The motorway phone call: “You need to come home”

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy2:46

      and I got a call, and it was another brother to say, uh, "You need to come home." Uh, and I said, "Well, what's going on?" And he said, "It's Pauline. It's my sister. Uh, she's had an accident." And, and it was very much, "Oh, okay. All right." And I was on the motorway. I, I was on hands-free and I took the call, and my heart almost just stopped. And I, I just remember thinking, "Stay calm. Stay in the middle of the lane. Just drive. Just be careful." And, and he said, "No, she's not. You just

6. 3:16 – 3:46

   2016 becomes a cascade: Pauline’s death and the shock of timing

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy3:16

      need to come home." And I was in the car with my wife and, and, um, my kids in the back, and I said, "Okay." And we just got on a flight as soon as we could. That was late twenty fifteen. And, um, uh, uh, I think it was the maybe thirty of December or so, just before the new year or, or even the thirty-first of December, got the first flight we could. And she died, uh, on the 1st of December, twenty sixteen. And, uh, um, in, uh, I think it was the April, my best

7. 3:46 – 4:46

   Workplace loss: his close colleague Mo dies after relentless overwork

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy3:46

      friend at work, uh, uh, Mo, uh, our good friend, uh, Mo, uh, he died, uh, in, in the April the twenty, twenty sixteen. Uh, I was with him on a Wednesday. The last thing I ever said to him, uh, we were working on a project. We had a, an hour-long meeting, and in the hour, uh, we finished it early in about twenty-five minutes 'cause we just got through stuff quickly. It's just the two of us. Um, and he got up I think about three times, and he had made himself coffees because, uh, it was similar with the two, three o'clock in the morning working in diligence. We were literally working day and night. It was really hard, a real slog. And the last thing I said to him is, "Mo, you look terrible." That was the last thing I ever said to him. And I said, "Look, sort yourself out, mate. Get some rest." And he's like, "Yeah, yeah, I will, I will." I said, "Stop telling me you will. Don't tell me that you will. Just do it." Um, and on the Saturday, he died. He had a heart attack. And, uh, that was in the April. And in, in the summer, um, I talked to you about my, my-- winning

8. 4:46 – 5:17

   Another sudden death: lifelong friend Graham passes unexpectedly

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy4:46

      my first international event, uh, when I was fourteen. Uh, um, the, the, the, the... My friend since then, so he's my oldest, uh, longest, uh, friend, Graham, uh, his heart failed and he died. Uh, and that was in August. Now, now, uh, uh, August twenty sixteen. So all of these people, um, they di- they were all in their forties, all died really suddenly, unexpectedly, and it was just in an instant.

9. 5:17 – 5:47

   A new philosophy: humility, uncertainty, and lifting others up

   1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy5:17

      And you're absolutely right. You know, a lot of these things, it just really caused me just to question, what on earth are you, what on earth are you doing, right? And also, you know, we, we, we all ex- Uh, we've no, we've no idea, [chuckles] right, what's gonna happen tomorrow. And I, and I think it's just really important that, that we, we understand that, uh, we move forward with humility. Uh, we do what we can, uh, to not only

10. 5:47 – 6:17

    Spending and living differently: from saving money to valuing experiences

    1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy5:47

       to get ahead and to progress things for ourselves, but then to bring others up at a long time because we're twice blessed in doing that. And, and that's part of the reason why, um, reason why, um, I, I, I live in the house I live now, and I sort of got the, the... You talk about the gym and the sauna and whatever. It's because before then, I was saving money. I was saving money. I was real-- You know, we lived in quite a small place and saving and saving, and I thought, "What am I saving all this money for?" Right. Enjoy things, you know, enjoy

11. 6:17 – 6:48

    Taking six months off to build a house—and build a life

    1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy6:17

       yourself so, um, but also enjoy experiences. I, I, I don't know if you know this, I, I took six months off work, um, and I, uh, I, I built my house. So the house you, you come and see, I've built it, uh, with a bunch of people myself. Uh, so I had that experience. Uh, I did that and, and then as I said, just trying to look after ourselves, our emotional, physical, mental wellbeing, try to be a good example for our kids, open up our house, share it with others, and, uh, just do

12. 6:48 – 7:24

    Reframing loss: letting grief deepen empathy and purpose

    1. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy6:48

       what we can because none of us know how long we, we have. But, you know, all of these experiences, um, good, bad, and indifferent, gives you an opportunity for learnings. And, and, and also, um, I do feel that it enhances who, who, who you can be as an individual. When you experience loss, um, it really means that you hold onto things or you cherish things or you can empathize with others more. So I, I do try to reframe that and, and say, "Well, okay, well, this has happened. How can goodness come from this?"

    2. DJDavid McIntosh Jr7:22

       Grief is the price we pay for love.

    3. JMJohn McCalla-Leacy7:24

       Yeah.

Episode duration: 7:25